and clark not being there

anonymous asked:

I keep imagining Clarke and Alex when Lexa is at training camps and Alex is too little to understand how long Lexa is gone for and she sees Clarke being sad but trying to not show it but Alex and Clark are so tapped in to each other's emotions and Lexa is on TV being interviewed or something and Alex climbs up on the sofa and scrambles into Clarke's lap and sighs and goes "I miss momma too..." and then her lower lip starts wobbling and she cries and Clarke is holding back tears like"I know baby"

Clarke holding back tears and kissing Alex and just holding her so tightly and when Lexa facetimes her that night she cries and Lexa cries because she misses her girls so much. It’s really hard on them, when Alex is super young. Alex misses Lexa like crazy and Clarke hates feeling alone.

Together - Bellamy Blake

Fic #34 of the Hamilton Prompts
Song: The Adams Administration

“Bellamy.” The moment you saw his scruffy black hair, a smile immediately grew on your face. You completely ignored the box of supplies in your hands and dropped them to the ground. You ran across the field and jumped into his arms, surprising him.

He laughed, and wrapped his muscular arms around you, too. He held you close to him for a moment, running his hands through your hair. When you looked up at him, he smiled, just before kissing you.

“Oh I was so worried about you,” you said, keeping your hands on his cheeks. He laughed and looked down at you lovingly.

“Don’t worry, I’m right here.” You leaned up to kiss him again, before being pulled apart by another reunion. Clarke ran up to Bellamy and hugged him tightly.

“I’m glad you’re back,” she said. “We have a lot to talk about.” Bellamy looked over your way, and you nodded slightly. Although you hadn’t expected to bombard Bellamy with this right away, you were all under the control of the adults from the Ark.

Bellamy looked around, and soon he started to understand what Clarke was talking about. All around, surviving members of the Ark worked on building a home for everyone.

“That’s Marcus Kane. No more nice leaders,” Clarke said, smiling at Bellamy as she pointed at the man talking with three other members of the 100. “He’s assumed control.”

“Does he even know what’s been going on down here?” he asked.

“No.”

“Well maybe I should go talk to-”

“That’s not a good idea,” you said, wrapping your arm around his waist. Clarke nodded at you as you started to walk Bellamy in the opposite direction. “Clarke already trying to talk to her mother and Kane. They’re not accepting help from us right now.”

Say what? We’ve been here for a long time.”

“I know.” He frowned and you looked up at him. He slung his arm around your waist, too and spun you around. “Bellamy-”

“I just want to talk to him.”

“We’ve already tried that.” He looked down at you with his charming smile and you rolled your eyes. “That’s not gonna work on him like it does on me.”

“We’ll see,” he said with a laugh. He made his way across the damp field towards Kane, and stood outside the group, waiting for them to finish. Once they did, Kane looked over at you.

“Yes?”

“Oh, this is Bellamy Blake.”

“You’re a member of the 100?” he asked, shaking Bellamy’s hand.

“Yes. I just got back and I was hoping we could discuss operations.” Kane smiled softly and looked down at his feet.

“Operations? I don’t think that’ll be necessary. You are just children.”

“We were just children when you sent us down here,” you said. He shot you a look.

“Not my decision. Regardless, we’ve come down here to take over operations,” he said. “Your help isn’t needed, or wanted for that matter. After how you royally screwed things up. How many people did you kill in-”

You fat mother fuck-”

“Bellamy!” you shouted, stepping in front of him as he instinctively walked closer to Kane. Your hand was on his chest, but he shrugged you off. He didn’t step closer to Kane, and after a moment, stormed away. 

You followed after him, and waited until you were out of earshot to speak. You grabbed onto his arm and whipped him around.

“I told you.” He rolled his eyes and shrugged you off, but kept walking in step with you. 

“He’s an asshole.”

“I know. Clarke and I have had that exact same conversation with him.” He looked over at you, a look of mild worry on his face. “It was fine, but you’re right. He’s a jerk.”

“Well, I don’t know about sticking around much longer with him in control.” He was walking angrily towards the exit and you jumped in front of him, again. 

“Bellamy, wait. You know I’d follow you anywhere, but this is not the right choice. We can’t just walk out.”

“Why not? We know how to survive out there, they don’t.” You stepped closer to him and put your hands on his hips. He pulled you closer and sighed, and you could feel his chest move up and down. 

“Not everyone is accounted for yet. We can’t run off. We’ll just be more spread out. And although he acts like he doesn’t, he’ll need our help. Let’s let him know what we know.”

“And what happens if we do, and he still doesn’t give us any control? I’m not going to be bossed around by the Ark-”

“I know,” you said, tugging on his t-shirt slightly. “And if he doesn’t accept our help, we’ll go. We’ll take Jasper, Clarke, Monty, Raven, hell, even Murphy.” Bellamy laughed and nodded carefully. You smiled and got up on your tip toes to kiss him again.

“Together,” Bellamy said. 

“Yes, we’ll go together,” you replied. He sighed and you hugged him tightly, resting your head on his chest. He kissed your forehead and hummed happily. “Now, come back, we’ll get you cleaned up and some new clothes.”

“Alright,” he said, taking your hand. You led him back up the muddy field when he tugged on your arm and brought you back to his chest. 

“Maybe we could do something together in between changing clothes.” You giggled and kissed his jaw as you tilted your head up. 

“You haven’t been gone that long,” you said with a laugh. Bellamy laughed, too, and slapped your ass playfully. 

“Doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you.” 

“Well I missed you, too,” you said, walking again. He laughed and followed you closely into the camp. When you two were finally alone, he tugged off his shirt, and you got to touch his magnificent abs again. 

“I’m glad we’re together,” you said. 

“Me too.” He ruffled his hair playfully, and you bit your lip. He knew that was the one thing you couldn’t resist. You jumped into his arms and wrapped your arms around his neck. He kissed you passionately while you played with his floppy hair.

“Fuck Marcus Kane,” you said, pulling away for a moment.

“I certainly hope not,” he said, as he dropped you down on a bed.

6

“It’s a little bit like it’s become her diary. It’s become her way of, as she says, trying to hold on to who she was, who she is and not forget where she came from and who matters to her…She does this everyday, she goes to the same spot perhaps, and talks to this guy.“ - Jason Rothenberg [x]

a thought on Bellarke

Sometimes I think about how soft Bellamy and Clarke will never get to be. Their softness, their innocence, their youth has been stolen from, in an even crueler way than it was from the rest of delinquents. In that way where their edges had to be hardened for them to lead, in the way where the weight of responsibility presses down on you until you’re as hard and sharp as a diamond. 

In another world, Clarke would have allowed herself compassion- she would have cared for people as a doctor, brought beauty into the world as a artist. Clarke was always destined to make the hard calls, yes; but they would have been about rationing medicine or when to operate or an intense vote on the council on the ark. She wouldn’t have to cut her own heart out of the equation to cut out someone else’s. The blood on her latex-clad hands wouldn’t seep into her soul. She would have been free to love and be loved in return and she would have two parents and a whole unbroken heart. 

Bellamy’s life never would have been easy, but there would have been a way, one day, for him to have a life where his love for people could always be rewarded; a positive, healthy, giving kind of love and devotion that doesn’t twist in his gut, that doesn’t inevitably turn into rage or revenge. He could have led a unit of the guard, and formed his own found family and given inspirational speeches without also knowing the scalding heat of a machine gun pumping bullets into bodies. He could have taught a classroom of boisterous children, without a mountain full of dead ones awaiting him in nightmares. His rash choices would lead to mouthing off to a councilman or getting in a fight with a rude boy at school, not bear the consequences of dozens of lives. In another world, Bellamy could hug and touch and love and be held and loved in return- in another world his vulnerability wouldn’t have to be rationed, or hidden, or protected and locked away. 

 And that’s the thing that makes Bellarke both devastating and beautiful to me. They didn’t have a choice in the hand they were dealt, and it’s not an easy life, and it’s not a fair life. They have both been broken down as people: their worst traits drawn out, their best tested to the limits of endurance. As individuals, they feel the weight - the loss - of what they were, of what they could have been. And they didn’t have a choice. But. But at least, in this life, they will never be alone. In this life, they can chose to be together. And, together, they can be whole. 

Together they find those shades of softness they thought had been wrung out of them; together they bare vulnerabilities in defiance of their circumstances, a quiet show of resistance to world that has turned them into monsters. They offer understanding unconditionally, they offer forgiveness for the unforgivable. They make apologies on behalf of the world to each other. They trade the will to live, to love, to press onward between them, taking turns carrying each other to the finish line. If you’re on that list I’m on that list. 

And they didn’t just fall from the sky into each other’s hearts - their love, their trust, their bond - is earned. They fell in love with each other’s ideals before they even liked each other; as that one article said - in the most idealistic way possible.

Bellamy fell in love with the hope and idealism Clarke had about humanity; he wanted to be what she saw in him, wanted to live in the world as she imagined it. He fell in love with a girl who through sheer force of will could bend the world to how she wanted it. He fell in love with her belief that there was a better way, that humanity could and should be good, that goodness can and will prevail. He fell in love with what she saw in him - never is Bellamy more whole than when he is looking at himself through her eyes.

And Clarke… Clarke fell in love with Bellamy’s heart. With the idea that someone’s heart could be both their weakness and their strength, their resilience, their courage. She was inspired by the intensity of his love for his sister - a love like nothing she’d ever seen, a love that changed the way she thought about love. She fell in love with his ability to reach straight into the hearts of people, with just a look, with just a word. She fell in love with his humanity - and with his ability to inspire it in others. And when she’s afraid she’s lost her own humanity, when she feels it slipping, he’s there. He’s there for her but also as living proof: that love doesn’t have to run out, that it doesn’t have to burn you down like fire to a candle. He reminds her that her humanity isn’t destined to be lost.

So after all that has been forced on them, and all that they’ve suffered - there is a measure of innocence, of softness that they will never regain, that they can never have. But what’s extraordinary - what makes Bellarke extraordinary to me - is how jealously and defiantly they have held on to that last measure of softness, of vulnerability, of humanity. They cling to it and share it between them and somehow, through that choice, they turn it into something more. Because when they are with each other, they are not only at their most vulnerable - they are at their strongest. They turn each other’s softness to strength, their compassion into determination. That kind of love transcends desire or declaration, definition or dismissal. And it’s damn well worth celebrating.

10

Clexa Appreciation Week

Day 3 - Favorite scene: “I lost someone special to me, too. Her name was Costia. She was captured by the Ice Nation, whose Queen believed she knew my secrets.”

“there’s literally no point in showing clarkes bisexuality any more”

funny…it’s almost like…..her sexuality is her sexuality….and it isn’t contingent……based on one relationship…….that regardless how bad and shitty it ended BYG and all…..doesn’t justify biphobia….and yet here i am…..having to explain it…..slowly…..with excessive ellipses………..