and cas became his friend

War of Hearts; Chapter 1

Summary: What Dean and Lisa had, wasn’t real. The only one who doesn’t know that is Lisa. The only solution to that problem? Start “dating” your best friend Castiel. Can they make it through this without possibly ruining their entire friendship? Or will they defy everything and make this work?

“Is there a reason you just dragged me into the boy’s locker room?” Castiel asked, glancing down at his wrist; the one Dean was still holding onto.

“I need your help.”

There wasn’t much Castiel wouldn’t do for Dean. Including this, even though it was the worst idea Cas had ever heard.

“You want me to date you?!”  

“No, I want you to fake date me,” Dean explained patiently while the other boys, who were on the football team with Dean, were staring at Cas, waiting for his reaction. After Dean and he became friends, Cas had spent a lot of time with the others on the team. Fairly quickly they became his friend too. Though, Dean was still his best friend.“I have to get rid of her some time, Cas, and I can’t do it without you.”

“You can literally get anyone at this school if you asked nicely,” Castiel said, his eyebrows raised skeptically. “Why in the world did you pick me?”

“Because you are my best friend,” Dean said, placing a hand on Cas’ shoulder. Cas tried to ignore the heat seeping through his jumper and crossed his arms instead.

“And?” Cas asked. “You are not telling me the full truth Dean Winchester.”

“She always was kind of jealous of our friendship. She thought we were too friendly, almost as if I was in a relationship with you instead of her.” Dean looked down at his hands, almost as if he was shy.

Now, Cas got where she was coming from. Dean and he didn’t have a normal friendship. They were close, on the edge of a relationship yet not quite there. If it wasn’t for their friendship, they would have probably started dating ages ago. They just couldn’t risk it, so they didn’t.

“Fine, I’ll do it,” Castiel said, rolling his eyes when Dean started cheering. “But only for two months tops, I get to break up with you and I’ll get to pick the reason why.”

“Promise it won’t be anything that’ll ruin my reputation and you’ve got yourself a deal.”

“Deal.”

Keep reading

10

Cookies

This is part of the Destiel Christmas Minibang.  Special thank you to @aayaoistuffs who created the art for this piece.  She is such an incredible artist, so you should all go give her a follow!  Happy holidays!

“Hey mom?  Can Cas come over to help us make the ginger bread house?” 9-year old Dean Winchester glances excitedly at the big box on the counter.  The picture on the front shows a beautiful gingerbread house, each candy perfectly placed and every drop of icing accounted for.

“Sure Dean, why don’t you give him a call while I set it up for you?” Mary takes the box off the counter, walking out of the kitchen and into the dining room where she begins to open the cardboard package.

Dean grabs the phone off the counter, dialing the Novak’s house number (he’s had it memorized since he became friends with Cas in 2nd grade).  “Hi Mrs. Novak,” he says politely when she picks up.

“Hi Dean,” she answers, “How are you?”

“Good, thank you.  May I please speak to Cas?”

“Of course,” Mrs. Novak grins, she knew from the minute she saw the Caller ID that Dean wanted to talk to her son.  She passes the phone to Castiel, who’s sitting on the couch watching some Disney Channel show and waiting for Dean’s call.

“Hello Dean.”

“Heya Cas,” a smile spreads across Dean’s face from just the sound of his best friend’s voice, “wanna come over?  My mom bought a ginger bread house we can do.”

“A ginger bread house?!” Cas says, excited.  He’s never made one of those before, but they always looked so cool.  “I’ll be right over!”

“Awesome, see you in five.”

Castiel hangs up the phone before saying goodbye.  “See ya mom!  Going to Dean’s!” Cas shouts as he slides on his snow boots.

“Will you be back for dinner?” she hollers back, wondering how much chicken she should prepare.

“Not sure, hopefully no,” Cas answers as he slips out the back door, stomping through the snow.  He walks through his own backyard and then through the sideyard of his back neighbor before crossing the street and skipping up Dean’s driveway.  He rings the doorbell twice, waiting impatiently in the cold.

“Cas!” Dean throws the door open, wrapping Castiel in a hug.

“Let me in, would you?  It’s freezing out here,” Cas grumbles, but he can’t deny the warmth that spreads through his stomach when his best friend hugs him.  He comes into the house, stomping the snow from of his boots before pulling them off.

“Hi Castiel!” Mary calls from the dining room, “you boys can come in here.  I’ve got it all set up.”

They walk into the adjacent room to see the table covered in different kinds of candy, pieces of gingerbread, and 3 piping bags of white icing.  “Three?” Dean points to the icing in confusion just as Sam slides into the room.

“Ginger bread!” he cheers as Dean groans in annoyance.

“Sammy’s doing it with us?”

“Yes Dean, behave please.  You can all do different parts so you don’t have to work too much with him,” Mary fixes her older son with a stern look and he nods in resignation.  “Alright, I’ll let you boys get to it.  I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.”  And with that, Mrs. Winchester walks out of the room, leaving the boys to their devices.

“Ok Dean, you’re the boss.  What do we start with?” Cas asks, looking excited but slightly overwhelmed.

“The walls, duh.  Haven’t you ever made a ginger bread house before?”

Castiel shakes his head sheepishly.  “No, never.  This is my first one.”

“Your first ginger bread house?!” Dean gasps in shock, “No.  Way.”  Cas nods.  “Well then we’re just going to have to make sure that this one is perfect.”

“Ok,” Cas shrugs.  He doesn’t really care what the house looks like anyway, it’s really about spending time with his best friend.

“Cas, you can handle the walls, right?  That part’s easy.  Sammy can help you.  I’ll do the roof and garden decorations.  This is going to be AWESOME!”  Dean grabs the roof pieces, some bowls of candy, and a piping bag.  Castiel slides the rest of the ginger bread down the table from his best friend, sitting a few seats away, knowing that Dean’s going to want space to spread out.

“Alright Sam, let’s start with the back wall, ok?” Cas beckons Sam to the seat next to him.

“Ginger bread!” Sam reaches for the base piece, mouth opening hopefully.

“No Sam, we can’t eat it!  This is for building.  Mommy can make you ginger bread for eating.”  Cas turns his back to Sam for a few seconds, reaching for the two piping bags near Dean.  He fondly notices that the other boy is sticking his tongue out slightly, fully concentrated on the white line of icing coming out his piping bag.

“Ginger bread!” Castiel hears an excited yelp come from behind him and he turns back to see the base piece broken, one half in Sam’s mouth.

“Sam no!” he pulls the ginger bread out of Sam’s hand, but the damage is already done.

“No ginger bread?” Sam’s bottom lip quivers.

“Well I guess just this one piece couldn’t hurt…” Cas trails off, not wanting to make Sam cry.  He glances back at Dean, but the other boy is still immersed in his frosting.  The base piece isn’t really that important, right?  Castiel takes a small nibble on a corner Sam hasn’t gotten to yet.

“Mmmm,” he hums in surprise.  It’s really really good.  Yeah, one missing piece probably wouldn’t hurt at all.  He hands Sam back one half of the base and then takes the other off the table, sticking the end in his mouth.

“Yay!  Ginger bread!” Sam cheers, munching happily on his piece.  Castiel sneaks a nervous glance at Dean when he finishes his half, but the other boy still isn’t looking.  Another small piece couldn’t hurt, right?  And there’s no way they’re going to use all this candy anyway.  It’s only one gingerbread house after all, not a whole gingerbread village.

When Dean snaps out of his icing trance a half hour later, the table is a gingerbread massacre.  Broken walls and candy canes litter the table cloth.  White icing is smeared across Sam’s face, handfuls of fruit gummies in his small fists.  “WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Dean yells, “GET OUT SAMMY!”

Mary’s ears immediately perk up in the kitchen.  “YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!” she hears Dean shout.  Then the sound of Sam crying fills the house and Mary decides that it’s time to intervene.

“Hey, what’s going on,” she says softly as she steps into the dining room, attempting to deescalate the situation.

“SAMMY ATE THE GINGER BREAD HOUSE!”

Mary glances at Sam, noticing the icing on his face.  Then she looks at the mess of nonpareils sprinkled across Castiel’s red sweater.  Maybe Sam wasn’t the only gingerbread-house-eater.  “Dean,” Mary starts, but then she realizes that her older son has tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I just wanted this to be a perfect gingerbread house be - because - “ he hiccups, “it’s Cas’ first and - and - and - Sammy ruined Cassie’s Christmas!“ He dissolves into full blown sobs.

“Dean,” Mary coos gently, “I highly doubt you ruined Castiel’s Christmas.”  Behind Dean, Cas nods in agreement.

“But how do you know?” Dean hiccups loudly, tears still streaming down his cheeks.

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” she suggests, nodding towards Castiel.  Dean turns.

Castiel doesn’t even allow his best friend to ask a question before grabbing Dean’s face.  He squishes their noses together, eyes locking.  “Dean,” he says sincerely, “this is perfect.  Sam didn’t ruin anything.  It’s all perfect.”

“Are you sure?” Dean sniffles.

“Course I’m sure,” Cas pulls away with a smile, “now let’s see that roof of yours.”

I want to talk about Dean and Cas and their relationship, about how they’re not ‘just a ship’, how their bond could be interpreted in various ways - from deep friendship, to kindred spirits, to romance - but how love plays a central part in it in any case. About how they heal each other, care for each other, love each other and get lost without the other. 

Essentially, Dean and Cas matter…

… because Cas looks at Dean’s scars and he understands, he doesn’t judge. He can take Dean’s pain and accept that it’s there - because he knows how much it hurts not to feel understood. Dean needs someone strong enough to carry him for a change - despite all the weight the years have put on his shoulders.

… because when Cas met the Winchesters, he knew next to nothing about humanity, he was a slave to obedience, and at the same time he became more and more estranged to his own brothers and sisters… he got lost in a whirlwind. Then there were the Winchesters, there was Dean. And they took him in - again and again. They gave him purpose and a light to strive toward. They made his existing easier, made his painful transition into finding his own identity more bearable.

… because Cas can see Dean’s faults, his anger, his stubbornness and irritation. But what he sees underneath all that shines so much brighter than any of the destructive crap Dean still insists on arming himself with. What Dean is to him goes beyond comprehension.

… because Cas came to earth a stranger to human emotion after years of drowning out the potential, pushing away the silent but constant yearning inside. Soon enough, Dean made him feel everything. And he still does. Dean sparked his desire for choice and at the end of it all, he will choose himself.  

… because Dean was lost and broken, his humanity crippled and bloodied. Self-loathing was all he knew and chaotic desperation was the fuel that kept him going. Cas gave him hope, fleeting at times, but hope nonetheless. Cas became his friend, his family, part of the little group of people Dean would swear unspoken loyalty to. 

… because Dean needs someone who understands why Sam always comes first. Someone who won’t make him give up on his little brother. Someone who will give him time to figure out his painful habits and memories on his own. Someone who will catch him once the trauma surrounding his dad, his mom, his brother comes crashing down, undoubtedly leaving him boneless and lost. 

… because Dean needs time to heal, time to understand, time to let go. And Cas will never push because he needs his own time too. 

… because even when Dean gave up on life and himself, Cas won’t let him. He means too much and Cas has learnt from his mistakes. 

… because Dean can read Cas like a book and Cas is family - he would give anything to make Cas understand just how significant he is, with or without his powers. Just Cas being Cas. 

… because Cas is kindness and determination and purpose put into one. Because Cas needs someone he knows he can always return to - and he always does, always back to Dean. Cas needs someone who can see him and love him, not Castiel but Cas. He has so much love to give and a deep need to be loved in return, to feel safe in knowing that he’s cared for deeply. In that respect, Dean is exactly the same. 

… because they both need someone to call them out, someone to get angry on their behalf, someone they can get angry with, someone who can take it all, and make them see sense again… but someone who will still be there by the end of it. Someone who is family. 

… because they both know betrayal and hurt and pain beyond measure. They both lived and died, fighting wars inside and outside and in-between. 

… because what they see in each other may be raw and terrifying but at the same time it’s genuine and timeless. What they find with each other is everything. 

… because what they are to each other transcends knowledge and reality - it’s everything they are and know to be. It’s not something either of them knows how to put into words - that’s not who they are. But what they see in the other’s eyes tells a thousand stories and more. One day, they will be strong enough to really look and really see. 

Dean and Cas matter because they both see their own worth reflected in the other. And that means, one day, they will finally understand why they matter outside of the other. It means they will finally have the ground to heal and grow from their past rather than continue being consumed by it. It means they will have a chance to move forward and make their own future - together and on their own. 

Hallelujah

The first time Cas kissed Dean was a religious experience. As Cas licked his way into Dean’s mouth, Dean became convinced that his friend was actually God.

The first time that Dean was on his knees in front of Cas, he was praying. He prayed in moans and hollowed cheeks. He spoke tongues around Cas and whimpered as he received what seemed to him to be salvation.

The first time Cas laid hands on him, Dean felt himself become saved. He felt all of the scars and pain heal under his gentle touch. He felt the hole in the middle of his chest close as Cas ghosted hymns across his skin.

The first time that they came together, Dean was overcome with what could possibly have been the holy ghost. He shook and yelled nonsense interwoven between ‘Cas.’ He gave himself over completely. Body. Soul. In return he received blood and body.

Holy words whispered under blankets and Dean can’t help but to stare and say, in a voice rough and awed, ‘hallelujah.’