and can give as good (or as bad) as they get

“if it’s bad for him, why does he eat it? he would know if it’s bad for him!”

buddy, pal, my dude…how do I explain this

cows will drink motor oil and eat all the laundry on your clothes line because they can. they literally don’t give a fuck

cats and dogs like antifreeze. it’s definitely not good for them but they like the taste well enough to destroy their own kidneys

parrots get addicted to sunflower seeds, which have little to no nutritional value for them and get really pissed when you try break the habit

animals don’t have nutritional wisdom. and neither do children for that matter. that’s why we teach kids these things and why you should know what not to feed your dog. they rely on you. im willing to bet you also eat stuff that isn’t good for you

anonymous asked:

Is it bad for a Catholic girl to message the guy every once in a while? Like could me messaging first ruin Gods plan for me

I’m assuming you have a crush on this guy? Messaging first once in a while shows that you’re interested, it’ll assure him that you don’t mind his company. The only way to find out if this guy is the one God meant for you is to get to know him and see how his beliefs and vision in life align with yours. 

anonymous asked:

not sure if ur blog is the best place for this but i have an onion to get out. the only acceptable "azw adopts someone" hc is blg. tdrk needs to get out of his household but fuyumi is an adult and his family and she can care for him. shns is self insert stuff for ppl who are desperate for good parental figures. bgk needs to get away from his family and he doesnt have anyone else to go to. you could say inko but that would mean contact w izuku and thats bad for both of them. give bkg a good home!

AND THERE IT IS! cal @quirkify and i talk abt this a lot (shocker) and the thing is, i dont think bkg would ever see aizawa as his dad. he has a dad, and his dad fucking sucks. aizawa is a guardian and a caretaker and someone bakugou can trust, and that alone is a pretty significant plus. he’s the only character who very much needs to get away from his current living situation, and who we don’t have any other character who would be better for the job. my blog is 100000% the best place for this and you are a genius

Send me Tyrus prompts please

Please give me feedback on whether or not this was good or bad if you read it. Also let me know if the colors are distracting or helpful please. Special thanks to @baepsaea5 for the prompt I hope you like it and I sorry it took so long to write.

Cloud 10 advice

TJ’s pov: It was a Sunday afternoon like no other. Me and Cyrus made plans to hang out at the spoon. In a way I guess it’s a date or at least I think it’s a date. This being said I should go get myself done up. Look sharp and fresh for my little muffin. I’ve overheard him talking about Cloud 10 and how nice the owner is and how great she is at giving advice. Maybe I could get some advice from her about my crush Cyrus. I obviously can’t tell her it’s him though because she knows him and I can’t let him know. Or at least not yet… Bex: “hello and welcome to cloud 10! my name is Bex.” TJ: “hey Bex, I’m TJ!” Bex: “hey! … you’re Cyrus’ friend aren’t you” TJ: “yeah, how do you know?” Bex: “he talks about you a lot… you must be really good friends” TJ: “I would say so at least :D” Bex: “so… what brings you to Cloud 10” TJ: “I’m seeing someone special later on today at the spoon and would like to look my absolute best.” Bex: “well that shouldn’t be hard” TJ’s pov: Bex gets to work styling my hair whilst all I can think about is how Cy is going to react laterand what we are going to talk about. Every moment I spend with him is like a new adventure. I just wish I had the courage to ask him out in order to make things official. TJ: “have you ever really liked someone” Bex: “what do you mean… could you be more specific?” TJ: “have you ever made a connection with someone on a deeper level than just friendship… like you know each other’s stuffs and want the absolute best for each other” Bex: “like a best friend?” TJ: “no like.. like uh… like a crush” Bex: “Ah yes… I do have experience in the lucrative crush field of knowledge so… who’s the lucky girl” TJ: “um…” TJ’s pov: that was all I was able to say. The only thing that felt right to say. Bex: “um? Come on who is she… what does she look like?” TJ: “HE… who is He… what does HE look like” TJ’s pov: I couldn’t take it anymore. I regret not saying it from the start. I could never imagine being with a girl. TJ: “sorry for yelling but if you really want to know he is short, quirky, unathletic but still very charming, sweet and caring. That is probably his most attractive quality” Bex: “that’s funny… that sounds a lot like Cyrus” TJ’s pov: with the mention of his name I was left pale and speechless. I just couldn’t stop rambling on about how perfect he is. now someone who knows Cyrus knows that I like him. Classic TJ. I messed everything up again. TJ: “it… it’s probably because…. because it is him… Cyrus that is… I… I have a crush on Cyrus” Bex: “TJ… that’s 100% okay. You are allowed to have a crush on anyone you want. It’s also 100% okay that you are gay. The best thing to do if you want Cyrus to know if be confident in the person who you are and be yourself. Cyrus is an awesome human being who loves everyone and everything. If you let him know how you really feel his reaction might surprise you. Now… what do you think?” TJ’s pov: Bex spun my chair around so that now I’m staring at myself in a mirror. I have a natural makeup look on with a loose hair look with very little hair gel in my hair. Bex: “I was going to give you a really styled hair look but when you started to tell about Cyrus I decided to give you a more natural hair as well as makeup look because your personality and you should shine brighter than your hair.” TJ: “I love it. Thank you so much… for everything” TJ’s pov: I got up from my chair and before leaving to meet Cyrus at the Spoon, I gave Bex a big hug. Bex: “You guys would be perfect for each other. You are both great huggers”

Not Good At This

Originally posted by effindivergenteric

Pairing: Eric Coulter X Reader | Word count: 715

Summary: Eric gets jealous when someone else gives you a Valentine’s gift.

Requested by: @lula132


Walking back to your apartment, you read the cheesy message Kyle wrote, in his bad calligraphy, in a small letter hidden among the roses he gave you. You can’t help but smile. Kyle is always trying to ask you out in a date, ever since you got here, a few years ago. You’ve told him many times you’re not interested, but he never gives up.

“(Y/N).” Someone calls out and you know exactly who it is. Turning on your heels, your lips break into a smile. “What the hell is that?”

“Roses.” You answer, shrugging your shoulders and walking backward. “Haven’t you ever seen one?”

“What’s on this sheet of paper?” Eric tries to take it from your hands, but you manage to dodge. If Kyle only knew the one and only you love is Eric, and that the reason why you accepted the roses was so Eric would see them and feel jealous… And you plan just succeeded. Eric is furious, rolling his eyes and breathing heavily. “Who gave you this?”

“And why do you care? If I remember correctly, you didn’t look for me after our first date and that usually means-”

“I had my reasons.”

“I see.” You murmur, reading again Kyle’s words. “ ‘Be mine’… How cute.”

“That’s enough, (Y/N).” Eric takes the roses from your hand, and you don’t even try to take it back. “Tell me who.”

“Why? If you don’t want me, someone else’s does.” As you speak, a little girl comes running, giving you a heart-shaped box.

“From my brother.” She smiles and vanishes.

“What the hell?” Eric is honestly confused, and he clearly doesn’t know how to react. His eyes fly from the roses on his hand to the chocolate box. “How many admirers do you have?”

“I have no idea.” Opening the box, you take one chocolate and eat it. “Delicious.”

“You’ll still make me lose my mind.” Sighing, he searches for something on his pocket. “Here.” Eric hands you a small, dark box.

Raising one eyebrow, you take it and open to find a beautiful necklace with the first letter of your name. In your surprise, you drop the chocolate box, struggling to hide your happiness. “What’s that?”

“A necklace.”

“Oh, thank you for explaining, I thought it was a baby shark.” Rolling your eyes, you put the necklace on.

“Wouldn’t it be more romantic if you asked me to put in on you?”

“Yeah, but apparently you’re not that good at being romantic since you just ruined a moment ten seconds ago.” Hands on your hips, you stare at him. “How do I look?”

“Beautiful.” He breathes out, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t call you after our first date because I’m not good at this.”

“Good at what?” You know exactly what he means, but you want him to say it out loud.

“At relationships. I don’t know to deal with people and I don’t know how to deal with you and my feelings towards you. That scares me and as you know very well I don’t like feeling scared.” Eric speaks fast, and you have to pay attention to understand his words. “I enjoy your company and I don’t really enjoy people’s company.”

“I’m aware of that… Well, I’m glad you finally made your feelings clear.” Stepping closer to him and tip-toeing, you place a soft kiss on his lips. “I’ll wait for you to ask me out again, ok?”

“What about right now?”

“Right now?”

“Yes. Wanna come or not?”

“So romantic.” You murmur, taking a deep breath, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Would you like to… Have dinner with me?” He pauses, breathes deeply and you can notice how difficult this is for him.

“Yes, of course.” Leaving the roses and the chocolate box behind, you take his arm, allowing him to guide you through the halls. “Wasn’t that a bit rude? Leaving the presents laying on the floor like that?”

“The only gift that really matters is around your neck, princess.” By the way, he furrows his eyebrows when he’s done speaking, you can tell he’s still kinda confused with all this.

“Princess? I like it.”

“You do?” Eric stares at you for a while and you nod. “Good.”

“Chill, Eric. I’m sure you’ll manage.”



littlestr  asked:

Yeah, it's damn awful that people in our own community hate us. I wish as an older lesbian I could give you anymore wisdom then "it sucks" but I can't, although honestly I don't think you need it, you really seem like an absolutely brilliant, beautiful, kind young woman, who is gonna do so much good. But things get better, I have had close friends in the community who has said lesbophobic things and then realised that was wrong and bs, and there are so many people who love us and support us.

It just sucks!!! Bc im so proud of being a lesbian and loving my gf and then this asshole turns it around and makes my sexuality sound like something terrible and closed minded and it just sucks!! I don’t need ppl in my own community making me feel bad for loving only girls like pls

So two things happened today:

1: I got my other teeth pulled out and my new false teeth plate thing put in. I’m still SUPER NUMB so right now I’m a little lispy and my nose feels weird, but I *should* now have a mouth of teeth on the top that won’t require many painkillers every day! I also got the dry socket thing packed once AGAIN because although it’s healing, it’s healing suuuuuper fucking slow. 

2: I got into yet another argument with mum over her… everything. I want to point out a few things, I LOVE MY MOTHER. like, we’re super close like she’s my BFF and all the crappy cheesy stuff that you see in movies and I would give her an A+ at being a singled, disabled mother on benefits for like, raising me good. 

However, mum has very bad, not good at all depression that has been getting worse and worse through the last year. I’ve been trying everything I can. I got that new car so she can go outside and we can go places, I phone her at least once a day, I visit SEVERAL times a week… but things have gotten bad. 

She’s put on a lot of weight. And I know that there is going to be like, the body positive people on here that will more than likely hate me forever about this, but please understand: my mother is in a wheelchair. she is not too big to transfer from her chair to bed without at least 2 nurses to help. She can no longer support her own body weight to stand, which she CAN STILL DO, if she didn’t weigh so much. She NEEDS TO LOSE THE WEIGHT. It’s causing a lot of other issues, like sores under the folds of skin and she’s got a bad heart already, with open heart surgery, she’s got COPD. 

But here’s the thing, and I’m aware I sound like the worst person ever here:

I hate what she’s doing to herself right now. She never calls me. She never picks up the phone EVER. She just saves all the things she needs till I call her. And there are ALWAYS things she needs. I need to go to the store for her, the chemist, the post office. I need to strip her bed and re-make it, and keep her money in order (I manage all the household bills for her, but she still has full control of her accounts) when she ‘overspends’ on amazon shit. 

She doesn’t get dressed. She lives in her nightgown. When I go visit she won’t move from her ‘spot’ in the kitchen, so I have to sit on the floor to talk to her because she won’t wheel herself into the living room so I can sit on the couch. 

I can’t just NOT GO. and I resent going now so much. And it’s getting worse. 

So I told her, that she needs to call the doctor and get something done about her weight, and until she did this, I wasn’t going to visit. Not once. 

Only, of course, I can’t do that. because she needs me. so for a month and half she’s being telling me that she’s going to ‘do it tomorrow’ and I’ve just basically lost my shit at her over the phone because I’m so fed up for being lied to. 

Just say you aren’t going to do it. So I can stop trying to push push push all the time. 

Just say you never want to leave the house again so I can try to sell that car I bought JUST SO YOU COULD LEAVE THE HOUSE. I have a £8k loan on a car FOR HER. I could have got a fucking great lil car for me for less than half that. I’m in DEBT because of this, and the other 5k loan I took out for her. Why? so she can sit in the house and use her depression as an excuse to wait till she just dies?

I’m so fucking upset and hurt and mad at myself over this. 

And my mouth fucking hurts. 

wlcmtomylifee  asked:

My best friend is my soulmate. We've also met in a past life and stuff. We are very connected. So when somethink good happens to her its bad for me and vice versa. Do you have any ideas of how to cut this bond? Its really anoying 'cause if something good happens with her love life it starts to get worse for me :/

hmm, that’s interesting! I personally don’t have any experience with this particular situation but I assume a cord cutting ceremony would work. cord cutting ceremonies are incredibly easy to perform and it’s not necessary for the other person to be present. a quick google search for “how to cut energetic cords” will give you some basic information that you can research. ✨

anonymous asked:

Ok but Libra with a braid? That turned out to be the best thing ever

You know what’s fun? Just image searching elaborate braids, that’s what.

I should have drawn like 50 more tbh

[my other art/my kofi]


And Jaspers never break their promises! 💖

Small clip of We Are The Champions 

Malec Fanfic Rec: 3rd Edition

I’m back with another long list of works that deserve some recognition and the writers that deserve validation. You guys are the real MVPs, keeping this ship forever alive.

“I’ll make IT fit.” by @katychan666

Jace walks by Alec’s room and hears Alec saying “It won’t fit,” followed by Magnus’ “I’ll make it fit.” And when he hears the two of them groaning and the bed creaking… his mind is going places.


Jace thinks he hears Malec fucking, but he misunderstands the situation completely.

Cue a very embarrassed Jace and very amused Malec.

“I’m so cute, I don’t see why you aren’t dating me.” by @shadow-bellum

Alec really doesn’t understand why Magnus isn’t dating him, like he would spoil him because he really loves him.

50 First Dates by @la-muerta

Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood are lawyers from rival law firms, and they can’t stand the sight of each other.

Now, if only the universe would get the memo and stop conspiring to bring them together, goddamnit!

A Moment Alone by mansikka

“That’s it. Just like that.”

A State of Undress by Accal1a

Alec might have just had the best orgasm of his life; but he’s not going to take that lying down (so to speak).

It’s payback time.

And for a breath of ecstasy by @poemsfromthealley

Nearly to the bed, they’d stopped to kiss with a decadent purpose that, if you asked Magnus, fit this ill-gotten hour. It was the pilfered fruit that tasted the sweetest, after all.

Magnus and Alec steal an afternoon for themselves. (Or, “Is it really an OTP until you’ve written them fucking against a wall?”)

Away Too Long by mansikka

Magnus has been away too long for work. Alec is unhappy about it when Magnus eventually shows up at the Institute.

Bitter Sweet Symphony by DownworldShadow

When young, up-and-coming cellist Alexander Lightwood heads to Aspen, Colorado to attend the prestigious Aspen Music Festival he has no idea what destiny awaits him there. This is an alternate universe Malec love story full of twists and turns, triumphs and tragedies. Asking one of life’s most difficult questions… does true love really conquer all?

Blue jeans and blue sky by Evil­_Keshi

Magnus was seven years old when he arrived in Colorado to start his new life - with new parents, a new language, a new everything. Making friends would have helped him, except that his first encounter with the neighbours’ kids didn’t go too well, and Magnus vowed to hate the Lightwoods forever.

Forever. No matter what.

Bounty by flying_pupitre

“What is it that you think we’re doing here? You have always made it abundantly clear to me that this was nothing more than a delightfully sordid but mutual dalliance.“

Can you keep me close? (can you love me most?) by @maia-isabelle

Alec has made his choice a long time ago, though he has trouble putting his finger on the when. Maybe when he had rushed out that first, desperate ‘I love you’ or when he had realized after those painful days apart that he couldn’t live without Magnus; when he had let Magnus take his hand and drag him back to the only place he ever called home. Or maybe it had been some other moment, some everyday feeling in the morning light or kitchen or settled on the balcony. However, it takes a demon wound and a day of sleep for him to finally say it.

Confessions of an 'Alcoholic’ by @chairmancatsby

Alec never liked drinking. He especially hated the aftermath of it the next morning when he felt like there was a boom box in his mind. But what Alec disliked the most was when the alcohol made his mouth filter magically disappear.

Or 5 times Alec drunkenly confessed to Magnus + 1 time he wasn’t drunk.

Conquest by bumblebeesknees

When it comes down to it, the only real mistake Magnus made was letting his guard down during the first round because he had thought Alec believed it when Magnus had said that he was a little out of practice.

This beautiful, infuriating asshole thinks he’s got the upper hand, marvels Magnus, irritation and inexplicable arousal warring inside him at the sight of the smirk that’s started to take form on Alec’s face.

Magnus can’t let him get away with thinking that for too long.

Dearly Beloved by @evillittlebirdie

Anonymous asked: How about for the Malec Prompts: a continuation of that 1x13 scene where Magnus asks Alec if he regrets the kiss and Alec reassures him that he doesn’t in his own, cute way? I feel like they should have included that somewhere in the episode <3

Don’t break my faded heart by @firstaudrina

It’s not entirely unheard of for a Shadowhunter to be in Pandemonium, but it is unusual for one to be here alone. Magnus will have to deal with that, but not yet. He’s having too good a time.

Ever Mine (Series) by Infinity (malecfeels)

Malec Human AU
Dominant Alec and Submissive Magnus
And their own quirky love story

Evidence of the heart by @kindaresilient


Magnus hears the greeting as soon as he takes the noise canceling headphones off and can’t help but smile in recognition. He turns around and sees Alec standing by the door, leaning on the frame.

“Well hello there. If it isn’t my favorite criminalist.”

Alec can’t help but smile fondly as he straightens up and walks in. “You tell that to every man and woman on this Department.”

Forever and Always by @magnusbicon

malec + domestic trailer scene fluff

Fuck Fate by @dontblinkamelia

When Magnus woke up on this one fateful day his tongue felt like it was made out of sandpaper, his head like someone had used it as a hammer and his stomach like he’d swallowed a gallon of soap. He barely had the energy to get up but as it turned out the universe didn’t care that he had a hangover to nurse because it still sent him spiraling down a mess of misunderstandings, lies, and confusion. And honestly? He really didn’t have the nerve to deal with it all.
So fuck social media, fuck trying to help others and fuck being in love.
The only thing that doesn’t seem to work is him fucking Alexander because apparently the whole universe hates him and fate is set against him.
Well, you know what?
Fuck fate.

Get You Where You Wanna Go by @royaltybane

Alec is a big fan of mundane driving when Magnus is the one in the driver’s seat

aka Alec calls Magnus by a pet name for the first time

Goldenrod by kinkymagnus

Most people present their second gender around the age of 21. Some, however, never present- these people are called Betas.

Alec Lightwood had thought he was Beta, up until this moment.

Turns out he’s just a late bloomer.

Or: Alec’s having sex with his hot boyfriend when he suddenly presents and suddenly things get a lot more… heated between them.

Or: Turns out knotting someone can make them go into heat, even if you weren’t previously aware said person was an omega. Who knew?

Gotcha by @robinowich

There’s nothing like waking up to the sound of your husband comforting your child.

Unless it’s two am and your husband is sleeping next to you.

Graphite eyes by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion

Alec doesn’t know why he’s taking the damn class in the first place, but he sure as hell knows why he’s staying. The Life Model, a man called Magnus, is absolutely stunning.

Happy shiny people everywhere by Fatale (femme)

Alec emerges from one of the bathroom stalls already fully dressed in a gray suit, plain white dress shirt, and hair neatly combed.

He looks like he always does, which is to say: painfully handsome and angry at the world.

A week into his new living arrangements and Magnus has realized that no matter where Izzy goes, she wears towering stilettos that hurt Magnus just to look at them, Jace is a mostly harmless douchebag, and Alec is a big mystery, their very own Phantom of the Loft.

Heat of the Moment by binksybane

Alec stared into Magnus’ eyes. He had a choice to make… for once in his life, for the first time in his life, he needed to decide whether to take a risk and take something for himself or to go on as he’d always done - and let chances pass him by.

I need you (do you need me?) by @disc0veries

“I am your ex, you are a cop, and I just got arrested for being drunk and disorderly.“

I Promise I’ll Knock Next Time by @octoberdecemberwrites

Alec Lightwood is in the closet.

No, like, he's literally in the closet.

Magnus Bane finds out Alec is gay, by stumbling across Alec in a janitor supply closet at Alicante High…

The good news? Magnus has had a crush on Alec since the 9th grade, and Alec playing for The Other Team means that Magnus might just have a chance.

The bad news? Alec isn’t really ready to come out of the closet just yet, and as his relationship with Magnus quickly progresses from complete strangers to friends-with-benefits, it seems like Alec might not be ready to come out of the closet at all…


♥ (Shadowhunters Normal-High-School AU with bits of canon sprinkled here and there) ♥

Keep reading

An Alternate Ending to “Truth or Dare” or, “How Not to Entirely Fuck Up 14 Seasons of Your Show in Three Minutes”

JJ confesses her love. We cut to commercial. When we return, JJ and Reid are being treated by the medics. JJ looks nervously at him, they share a stolen glance, and she leaves her conversation with Rossi to talk to him. She looks nervous.

“Spence, about what I said-”

Reid cuts her off. “JJ, I know.” He grins. “I told you, you have a tell. You may have won at the roundtable, but you have a terrible poker face in the field.”

They laugh, and she smiles. “Ankle holster? Textbook Hotch move. He would’ve been proud of you.”

We fast forward to the wedding. There are no weird stolen glances when Emily mentions “twin flames” because we’re not here for that shit. Instead, everyone is happily spending time with their partners, and those who are single (namely Emily, Tara, and Garcia) are taking shots. It’s an all-around good time.

JJ catches Reid looking wistfully at the couples dancing during the slow song, and she briefly steps away from Will join him at the bar.
[Instead of “All of the Love in the World” Lily Kershaw’s other song “Darker Things”plays in the background as she walks over: I worry bout you at night / cause when the moon comes out all your demons come to life / and you say you hate the way your mind makes you feel about / all the things that hurt in your life, I feel you now, I can feel you]

“You know, I did mean it, what I said back there,” she tells him. He looks at her curiously. “I’ve always loved you - you’re my best friend. The brother I never had. The best partner I could ask for. And the best godfather to Henry and Michael. I love because you’re kind and you’re brave and you’re brilliant.”

[Don’t cry my one / we’ve only got so much time under the sun]

Reid gives one of those kind of sad-looking smiles as she continues, like he’s trying not to cry. “We all love you. And someday someone is going to see all of that in you and more - and love you in a way that’s so much more than any of us ever could.”

[Don’t cry my dear / we’ve only got so much time here]

He takes a deep breath, nodding. After a moment, he asks “Truth or dare?”


“Do you think it would be easier to find that if I left the BAU?”

She exhales. “To be honest, I don’t know. I mean, Emily and I met our partners through work - Rossi somehow got lucky. I think this job makes it harder. We don’t always get a lot of happy endings. But if anyone deserves a happy ending, it’s you.” Then she asks, “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” he responds.

“I dare you to let the team set you up on a date with someone.”

“What?” he splutters. “No, absolutely not I ch-”

“Just one date,” JJ insists. “With all of us working together, how bad could it be? Emily said twin flames can’t be kept apart. Let us try to give you a little nudge in the right direction.”

“I…” JJ raises her eyebrows, smirking, and Reid sighs in defeat. “Okay. Fine. One date.”

She pumps her fist in mock victory. Then catches Will’s eye - she smiles at him, and Reid nods towards him, giving her permission to exit their conversation. She does, and he goes to dance with Garcia. 

[ “Darker Things” finishes playing as we see a wide shot of the team dancing together: Don’t cry my one / we’v only got so much time under the sun / don’t cry my dear / we’ve only got so much time here.]

The scene fades to black and the credits roll.

muse | kth

summary⇢ this could finally be tae’s big break, but he’s nervous and struggling to find inspiration. luckily, you’re willing to support him in all ways necessary.
pairing⇢ taehyung/reader
word count⇢ 2.5k
genre⇢ smut | fluff | artist!au 
warnings⇢ sexual content, pwp, dom!tae, smoking, oral (f+m giving/receiving), overstimulation, forced orgasm, deepthroating

a/n⇢ this got sappier than i intended, but i guess i’m in my feelings again 😂 idk what this is, but hope you enjoy anyways 💜

mood is i’m in it by kanye 🤪

Keep reading

The Beginners Guide To Summoning Demons ☾☀✰

     Let’s be real, summoning demons is cool. People view Black Magic as taboo and it’s just about as edgy as it gets, like the ultimate goth aesthetic. However that doesn’t mean it should be taken lightly.

     When you summon a demon it’s not like Supernatural or Sabrina the Teenage Witch. You cannot kill the devil, and selling your soul is not everything it’s made out to be. This is reality, it’s the hidden part of reality, but it’s still reality. You see in this plain of existence we have a little thing called “physics”, and with this there are unspoken laws.

     A being manifesting itself as energy will rarely make things fly around the room unless it’s got nothing better to do which shouldn’t be the case if you went to the trouble of summoning it. This is not a movie, if you think it is, I would highly suggest you do more research before you continue any further.

Why you should (and shouldn’t) summon a demon?

     Demons can do a lot for you, if you’re willing and strong enough to pay the price. From manifesting impossible amounts of money, to literally helping you take over the world, it can be very tempting. 

      With the “right” spells, rituals, and intent, human beings hold to power to both command and work with Satan himself. A lot of the times Demons can act as the “Motherlode” cheat of the real world, saving you a lot of unnecessary time and energy.  

     Good/Respectful Reasons to summon a demon: 

     1. Money

     2. Sex

     3. Love

     4. Knowledge and Secrets

     5. Revenge

     6. Murder (controversial but needed) 

     7. General Magickal Assistance 

     8. Physical Fitness

     9. Health

     Bad/Disrespectful reasons to summon a demon:

     1. To film it and post *UNDENIABLE PROOF* on YouTube

     2. To tell it you hate demons… Just why

     3. To demand it to show itself  

     4. To “Dabble” in the craft

They do not owe you, yes you may have power, but you are no where near their God. Stop it, sit in the corner, and think about what you’ve done. 

Preparing Yourself:

     1. Abandon the Abrahamic belief systems. This is essential, if you think demons are going to be a ticket to your damnation, don’t call one.

     2. Abandon the idea of good and bad. You have to learn to acknowledge that NOTHING is a black and white issue. The best way to do this, is to find the worst things that you can possibly think of, and then try and find the silver lining. Demons are neutral beings and if you have a neutral mindset you will get better results!

     3. Start meditating!!! Meditation is Key. Start with 5 mins a day and slowly increase. If you want I can definitely make a black magicians guide to meditation.

     4. Believe as much as you can. Give the non skeptical part of your brain complete control for a while. If you are open to them, they are open to you.

     5. Research. Whether it’s about the demon, or just magick in general, you are going to have to pick up a book or two (message me for PDFs). 

Best Demons For Beginners:

     1. Lucifer. That’s right, despite popular belief, Lucifer has been known to be patient and quite kind. He can appear as Lucifer (an angel of light), recommend for beginners. Or he can appear as Lucifer Amaymon , a infinite black hole like nothing you’ve ever seen before, (He’ll only appear to you this way if he feels that is how you relationship should progress).

     2. Bune. The Demoness of wealth and necromancy (Side note, I just realized she’s the demon equivalent to Hades). She’s tends to be good with new people, just don’t be a dick. 

     3. Astaroth, a gender bending queen. They seem to be kind and are not apposed to working with newcomers. They can teach astral projection, self control, divination, and spirit communication.

     4. King Paimon. Address as KING PAIMON, not just Paimon. He’s kind, can give you hella familiars, and as long as you respect him and his title, he can help with almost anything, or at the very least point to a spirit who can. 

     5. Then again you could take my path, find the most powerful spirit willing to work with you, and the dive in hoping not to break your head. 

Offerings and Pacts: 

DO NOT TAKE THIS LIGHTLY! If you offer the demon your soul and they accept, it is likely you’ll be a slave for the the rest of eternity. The majority of deals do not require lifelong worship and a virgin sacrifice. Do not offer something you cannot come through on. They will take your firstborn child, they can kill your dog, and I will have no pity for you. They do their part, you better do yours. 

Offerings can Include:

1. Wine 

2. Jewelry (and gems)

3. Art

4. Blood (yours)

5. Complete Control of you life for a certain amount of time

6. Sex (Yes you can have sex with demon, I’ll make a how to later)

7. Bread (homemade is best)

8. Metal

9. Write them a song

10. Flowers 

11. Animal Sacrifice (Often times you can eat the meat afterwards, but always ask the spirit first) 

12. Orgasms

To make a Pact: 

     First off acknowledge that a pact is like signing a contact or taking out a line of credit. Don’t do this without some thought first. 

Why Make a Pact?: 

     1. A pact can get you results, big results

     2. A pact is a sign of trust and respect for the entity you’re working with. 

     3. It gives an exact guide of your desires, so the spirit knows exactly what you want.

     4. It can often be a gateway to possession, which if your like me, yay!

     5. It anchors the spirit to the physical plane, and you to the spiritual plane.

Pacts can be done using physical items, or it can be just a soul contact. The physical paper is recommended, I didn’t do that because I’m me and safety isn’t something I usually look into. 

Terms and Conditions: 

From C. Kendall 

“Take a pen/feather whatever and dip it in the Ink write on the clear paper/parchment.Before you write, remember to be careful and specific. Lay down your terms for the pact, write your exact desires and what you want in the agreement and what you don’t want too.

     Be careful, I cannot stress that enough be very specific for example something like this.“ I create and write this pact between me (insert your name) and (spirits name) here are my terms and conditions, (write your desires) you will deliver all of these things unto me.I sign and covenant this agreement with you, in return I agree to your terms of the pact before signing, you must tell me your terms.

     The duration of the pact will last for (insert how long you wish the pact to last), I forsake all other spirits and only work with your for the duration of the pact.These are my terms, however you will not (place in the here, what you don’t won’t happening or what you don’t want the spirit to mess with) these conditions must be upheld between both parties of flesh and spirit”.

     The above of course is just a brief rough example, draw a line at the bottom left and draw another line at the bottom write.Both these lines are signature holders, you can not sign your signature until the ritual of evocation is performed.Write at the bottom the written, script which is on the seal of the sorcerer, which is the runic script for ‘Alash Tad’alash talashtu’.

     Now wait for the ink to dry, draw on top of the pact a inverted pentagram and at the bottom draw the sigil of the spirit.Pact Shield.Take the red paper draw a huge inverted pentagram on it. In each point of the pentagram write 9. Until there are five 9’s inside each point.Draw a circle over the inverted pentagram, it acts a symbol which contains the power inside the pact protected.

     Gaze at the symbol and see it open, whilst vibrating the name of the demon of pacts, ‘Lucifuge’ do it nine times.The black piece of paper acts as a aura of darkness covering the pact.Evocation Pact Signing.

     Summon the spirit in a ritual of evocation, tell the entity you have a written pact with you.Place the Pact outside of the circle, once the spirt agrees to enter a Pact with you.

Sign your name in the bottom left corner and add your blood over the signature.And say“(spirits name) I sign this Pact with you, I sign this covenant together”.

     Place the pact outside the circle, ask the spirit to sign to pact, you’ll see astral lines it’s the spirits astral signature.Draw over the invisible lines with the blessed ink, in order for the energetic signature to be physically anchored.Take on final drop of blood spill it over the demons signature and open the sigil of the demon and add one more drop of blood on the sigil.Then say"I seal the pact in my blood, the pact is signed, the covenant is agreed too, in the words of the grand invocation, Alash Tad Alash tal’ashtu so it is done’.Roll up the paper, take the red pact shield roll that over the parchment.

     Take the final black paper pact guard roll that over the parchment.Take both ribbons tie, them around the pact.

Light the incense, see the powers of the spirit rise through the smoke hold the pact over the incense, fumigating the energies of the pact.Also what I like to do is meditate while gazing at the pact with as red candle and black candle on either side whilst I visualise my desires becoming manifest.

     Now the pact has been made, agreed too and signed. This is how I do my pacts and I wanted to share with you the process of which I go through, hope this helps.“

This explained it better then I could have so props to the magician! I don’t do all of this, but as always it’s your craft, do what feels best.

The Evocation: 


You will need: 


     2. Incense that creates strong smoke

     Step Two: On the outside of your circle place your unlit incense facing toward the direction you want the spirit to appear.

     Step Three: Place the sigil inside the circle close enough that you can gently gaze at it, without hurting your eyes.

     Step Four: Activate The Sigil while meditating by chanting the demons enn, to activate the sigil gaze at it till it starts to look like it’s disappearing and then reappearing. Light the incense 

     Step Five: When you feel the demons energy near you start your “command” of “*name* come appear before me in beholdable form” do this until it literally feels like your going to pass out. 

     Step Six: When your almost not sure who or where you are any more, simply repeat “*name* come” and gaze into the smoke of the incense until you can almost see and hear the demon in your head. 

     Step Seven: Greet the demon, ask whatever questions you would like to, offer it the pact or offering, etc, etc. 

     Step Eight: When you ready to end the ritual, simply state “Now go, carry out my will, and return from whence you came” Then blow out your candles, clean everything up, and try to take your mind off it. 

If I missed any questions PLEASE send in an ask and I will cover it there!

Happy Casting,

~AP Barker

Originally posted by dualvoidanima

let dan and phil make money without complaining 2k17

About Stormy Weather 2

Let’s cut to the chase. This was a filler/recap episode.

Is it disappointing? Yes 😞

They did my girl Aurore wrong with the episode title and not even giving her the attention she deserves. And about nothing new happened. Chloe still hasn’t learned to actually be better. There’s more. But those are about a few things that REALLY got to me (to be brief).

Is it bad that they even have this episode? Not exactly. It just wasn’t done well.

Now that I’ve briefly got out of my system on why I was disappointed, now let’s look at the details and minor brightsides of it (I guess?) and more on why I’m disappointed.


This was an episode to establish the questions we’ve had. (Honestly did we even need these? Actually, not really. But it’s nice they even bothered.) Some of these questions are:

  • How’s Aurore?
  • Is Chloe really fully changed?
  • How does Nathalie REALLY feel? Like with her own words? How LONG has she been with the Agrestes? And will Gabriel keep this shit up?
  • How’s the dynamic between Ladybug and Chat Noir now since they’ve been fighting for a while?
  • How’s everyone else (Alya and Nino specifically) doing?
  • Will Marinette ever tell Adrien that she’s interested in him?
  • Will Adrien pick up on that???

Pretty much here’s how they answered these, as well as what I took from these answers:

  • How’s Aurore? Naturally I’m gonna open up with Aurore here since this was supposed to be HER episode again. We see her being bullied by Chloe and then she get it’s gets to her. THAT’S how Aurore is doing. The only few things I liked about her here is learning she and Marinette are friends. But that’s IT. This could have been HER moment. HER episode again. We could of known more about HER. Instead what do we get? Just like 3 minutes tops of her and boom. Defeated, and not even checked up on. I know she’s a side misc character but damnit *slaps table*… We really were cheated with her comeback. This wasn’t her episode and it shouldn’t have been titled “Stormy Weather 2”. I’m sad about this.
  • Is Chloe really fully changed? Nope. So I knew her development wasn’t even started yet (as we’ve seen), but like damn. We see how being hero twice has gotten to her head. It’s disappointing, it really is. The only “bright side” is that at least they’re establishing here that she clearly still has changing to do instead of saying she’s fully changed, which she isn’t. Probably even alluding to what we’re gonna see next with her. Obviously by that last glare, Marinette (as Ladybug) isn’t giving into her shit anymore. (That or she’s disappointed in how Chloe doubled back too.)
  • How does Nathalie REALLY feel? And so we see. She, as expected, hates her fucking job because it’s too demanding, but LOVES the Agreste family. We now, with her own words, which are rare, learn just how long she’s been with them, her feelings for the family, and that she canonically cared for Emilie and has now fallen for Gabriel. She’s also still sick from Heroes Day (so they didn’t forget that’s a thing, thankfully). Which now only implies that from this point forward, she’ll be Mayura more often, and get even sicker (a life for a life, anyone?)
  • How’s everyone else doing? That Ninalya (Djwifi) content… My heart! 💕💖💕💖😭💖💕💖💕 So they show us Nino is pretty much now a Césaire (lol), and that they both do talk about their hero duties when they’re alone. The good in seeing this? They can actually keep it a secret from the public and this shows their hero potential (unlike Chloe). The bad about it? It’s their disadvantage (as we already know.) Now what we didn’t need is all that recap footage. (That time slot could have been used for my bby Aurore 💜💙💜)
  • How’s the dynamic between Ladybug and Chat Noir now since they’ve been fighting for a while? Well :) (Filler aside) We see that Ladybug is A LOT more fonder of Chat Noir than before. This time she’s loosening up her humor during battle when she used to be all “stop joking! This is serious!” Then they go on to recap on shit that we already know like that they trust each other and *yawn*. But one thing I did notice, and like about this, is that look she gives him as he runs off.

It’s almost a look of that says “I’m starting to view you as more than a partner…” (Will they show it in the following episodes. Boy do I hope.)

  • Will Marinette ever tell Adrien that she’s interested in him? Okay so not only does she drop off Adrien’s homework, but you notice something? Not only did she volunteer, but she didn’t fluster while doing so. When she delivers it, she’s not panicked about it, instead she’s just nervous about talking to Nathalie and disappointed she couldn’t give it to him in person. Then what happens next? She FINALLY takes Kagami’s advice and does something. Once she’s done, she’s not regretful and doubtful about it anymore when she used to be. Sure, we went over shit that marks she “changed”, but it’s really around this part in the episode that she ACTUALLY changes. From here she’s a new confident Marinette, pretty much. The recap was still unecessary.
  • Will Adrien pick up on that??? *sigh* no lol.

Okay, real quick, BIG APPRECIATION for Plagg’s “Oh shit” face when he sees Adrien notices the handwriting.

  • So into Adrien and his love life, we see that his head is too in the clouds to fully notice the amazing girl that is MARINETTE. I will say I love that Plagg keeps trying to steer him in the direction to LOOK AT MARINETTE. (Mentioning how Gabriel wasn’t mad Adrien was with her when he snuck out and hinting that she’s VERY available more than once.) When he finally notices the handwriting, he’s SO close to putting it together. Plagg for a sec is shook about it (since it hints he’s closer to piecing she’s LB), but then he re-tracts because he’s a clueless child and now is left on the conclusion that it’s not her. Okay -_-

So now that that’s done, let me just add on why I think that last part where he retracts marks something.


Anyone find it odd that the episode ended specifically with Adrien noting that “Marinette couldn’t have written the letter (can’t be in love with me) because she’s just a friend that’s into fashion. Besides there’s Luka.


You guys hear that?

Right as soon as he says that, sad music plays. Like he “lost” something.

Then Adrien as if slightly disappointed, insists it was probably “someone else”… Because there’s Luka

And then the episode ends.

(My own thought: I think this is here to mark off that not only Luka is coming more into play, but maybe that it’ll affect Adrien more than he thinks? It may be that his change to come is that he stops looking “up in the clouds” and starts looking in front of him.)




And that’s about one of the few things that got me in this episode (among Nino and Alya and Mari getting confident for once). Because it means shits gonna get interesting among the ships👀… *sips tea*


I’d touch the development issue but after carefully going over the fact that both season 2 and 3 were written around the same time, I do have a hunch stuff is kind of out of order there. But that’s a topic for another day. (Probably one I’ll rethink and retouch fully after this season is done.) So let’s get back to the real question:

So wtf was this episode?


Well, this is just my take, but judging by the brief glances at Stormy Weather 2’s LEVEL of power, it’s there to set what we’re gonna be seeing from the episodes forward. If this looks intense, then we haven’t seen intense, yet (ya feel?)


For certain ppl (I’m one of these ppl) Stormy Weather from S1 was THE pilot episode to the whole show and the first episode seen. It set up what we were going to be seeing of the show. So if there had to be an explanation, my take is that’s why they picked her again to mark off a recap and brand new starting point for what’s to come.


TLDR: This episode probably wasn’t just meant to show what’s changed, but to mark of what WILL change moving forward.


It’s not perfect, I’m still not happy with how it was delivered, but that’s probably what they were going for.


They probably should of just called it “The Story So Far” or something, honestly. Not Stormy Weather 2. Aurore did amazing. Her screentime didn’t :( But in the end, it’s probably there to mark the start of real change.


Since that’s maybe the deal, then changes we may see here moving forward and so on are:


It’s probably gonna mark Marinette as being comfortable around Adrien and no longer hesitating as much as she did, but of course Luka will be more in her life (and Adrien may or may not realize he isn’t as okay with it?? That’s just what I wanna see honestly lol). Chloe will probably realize that she can’t keep expecting to be handed a miraculous just because she says so, which then could mark her to ACTUALLY start changing. And so on.


Anyway we’ll see what the next episodes bring. I noticed they’ve only been showing us the uneventful episode first and leaving the more “juicy” ones for later dates…

As long as this is, I actually kind of rushed through it so my apologies if it’s all over the place :(



I will never get over this master piece of a show.

Because, (all jokes aside) this show was not just a show for most of us. This was a way for those who felt alone and unwanted to feel loved and wanted. This show didn’t just give us jokes and ships, it gave us a family, a community that’s strong and loving. I hate saying it, but when su ends, the message it gave will always be there.

That message,

You don’t have to be what others want you to be, the only things you should care about is yourself and how you feel. To surround yourself with people who love you for you, and to never lose hope. That people can change, and that things may seem bad at the moment, but they will always get better. Ask for help when you need it, don’t be afraid to get better. Life has so much more to give, so don’t give up at the start of it.

All this, just from a cartoon, I hope we get more shows like su, shows that give happiness and smiles. This is the best way to teach children to be more open minded and empathetic with other.

Also …….

This is amazing and all I need for eternity.

Deer Minotaur Boyfriend

This commission was so much fun to do! Not only did I get to do a deer minotaur, but it’s a story that features phone sex and the phone sex operator themself! This story got a lot of love on Patreon so I hope it gets it here.

   There’s this rigidity that I’ve always hated in people. It’s the sort of thing you’d see in Charles Dickens type movies and shows. Stiff upper lips, flared nostrils, a yardstick up the ass, and a crooked eyebrow. I had a couple of relatives that were like that, and they were never my favorite people. They were the ones who told me everything I did wasn’t good enough. I didn’t sit right, I didn’t eat right, I didn’t walk like a lady.

   Am I a bad person for being grateful they’re dead? Sure, it’s sad when family dies. But is it really when they did nothing to help you or your self-esteem? My grandmother had always cultivated that air around herself. No matter what I did, it was never, ever, good enough for her. Stiff upper lip and yardstick up the ass until she died. Her last words to me when I went to the hospital were to tell me my hair color wasn’t fooling anybody. It was easy for me to understand why my mom got knocked-up at eighteen and ran away with my hippy loft-living father when she got the chance.

   Well, enough with my history. The reason I bring it up is because of my history professor at school. Professor Barnum looks like he’d be a cool guy. He’s a deer minotaur with antlers jutting out from the top of his head. His fur is dark brown and grows bushy around his neck and chest. I had thought, when I signed up for the class, I would be getting an interesting experience. Instead, I am hit hard in the memory gut.

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Written in the Stars (9)

Characters: Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: You’re the type of woman who is headstrong and fiercely independent. Heiress to a fortune and one of the most brilliant minds of the 21st century. Until you’re forced into witness protection. Your “Protection” turns out to be 220 pounds of dreamy, sassy, delightful Bucky Barnes. Whatever could go wrong?

Warnings: Violence, bad language, angst for days!

A/N: Okay so naturally you’re all mad at me for the last chapter, but here is the angsty follow up! This one is just pain and panic and nothing good especially at the ending. It’s angry Bucky and a whole lot of tears! If you want me to make it better, say something nice? hahaha jk thank you all for reading it!

This was generously Beta’d by my beta @suz-123 , without whom this fic wouldn’t get done!

Links are being a bitch so you can find the whole fic in my WIP masterlist in my bio!

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