and cakes get eaten

Kitchen Witch Curses

- May your bacon always burn.

- Your frying pans will always be warped and lopsided.

- May your wooden spoons give you splinters.

- Your oven will never be the temperature it says it is.

- May your glassware always be scummy.

- Your pies will always come out too liquid-y and your crusts pasty and not flaky.

- Your mixing bowls will have secret holes in the bottom.

- May your whipping cream turn to butter

- Your butter will always be too hard.

- May your brown sugar dry out and be one solid mass.

- You will never have the right sized lid for your pots.

- Your fudge will always burn.

- May your Christmas baking get eaten beforehand.

- May your cakes always be uncooked in the center and your icing not quite right.

Birthday - the final in the Birthdays series


You have been dating Kara Danvers for two months when you realize that you have no idea when her birthday is.  You immediately call down to HR and have them email Kara’s personnel file.  You’re not sure why you never thought to look, it just seemed like Sunny Danvers would naturally be the type to have balloons tied to her chair and flowers sent in by every friend.  But you think back and can never remember seeing a half-eaten cake with Kara’s name on it in the break room, and there have definitely never been balloons or flowers.

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