and by little shit i mean youre perfect

Hello it’s your friendly neighborhood Bayern fan who, in light of recent lack luster performances, would like to comment on the funny personality the Bayern fan community has. Bayern fans greatly enjoy a joke, especially at our own expense. When games are less than perfect we dramatically lament our suffering as the end of days. This, by no means, means that we have stopped supporting our boys. It means we’re dramatic little shits. Nothing more, nothing less. We may grumble today but we’ll still be back tomorrow proudly proclaiming what tra$h we are and sending prayers to satan. So if you see your Bayern fan friend having a tantrum, fear not, they are simply fulfilling their dramatic little shit duties. *ha I said shit duties* any way that’s all everyone continue their suffering in the name of the Bayern, the Satan, and the holy horse amen.

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: galavant is the best thing that has happened to me and I will legit cry if I don't get a third season I mean I honestly didn't expect a second season and yet here we are I'm surprised too that being said you can't give me the world and then take it away nope nope nope this cannot be it's this perfect little gem of a show and I need more I need a flashback of gal and isabella's wedding reception and oh my god MADALENA IS ON SOME MALEFICENT SHIT GODDESS YASSS but no gareth baby no your heart was broken :( go find madalena and save her from herself and omg galavant is your name gary honestly gary wow no I need this stupid silly show to save my soul and king richard is the CUTEST THING EVER??? HE DIDN'T GET MAD AT GARETH FOR ANYTHING HE JUST MISSED HIM PRECIOUS BABY and roberta and him are together and she didn't go to spinster island with a cat yes thank you but is she the queen now I need to know more about her who are you roberta and tad cooper TAD FUCKING COOPER IS A DRAGON WE HAVE A DRAGON like okay it literally was a bearded dragon but it breathes fucking fire now I'm so happy and I will not be if the last lines of the show are "I have a dragon" no no no you have a dragon but nOW WHAT TELL ME MORE ugh is it my fault they aired it during grease live and people didn't see it why did you want to watch grease live grease recorded was terrible because grease was a terrible movie no do not cancel this lovely show that is PURE JOY of originality because it was pitted up against another musical because galavant is better I promise don't do this to me ABC gala-can't okay please give it one more season please I know they hinted that it could continue but I really need it to continue you don't understand I need that jester singing and recapping the show hella voice jesus I need to know whether sid is gay or not and his bromance with gareth I need more of that and CHEF AND GWYNNE WHAT HAPPENED TO CHEF AND GWYNNE AND THEIR FUCKED UP CUTE AS HELL ROMANCE I NEED TO KNOW I need more tongue in cheek lyrics oh my god the songs if they get renewed again it need that sass I need more game of thrones references crazy ex girlfriend can't be the only primetime musical don't give up on galavant plz help send help I will not be okay if this is over alan menken what have you done you couldn't own me with disney alone you just made me love you even more didn't you I just I need this show please take my money give me more galavant god bless galavant galavant galAVANT GALLLLLAAAAAVANNNNTTT

On tumblr whenever I see a post talking about their crushes, it’s always like a description of a perfect human being. Is everyone’s crush like that? Is that honestly how you all see your crushes? No one has ever had a crush who they didn’t imagine having an angelic halo 24/7? Like one who you’re like, This little shit. Omg, they’re such an idiot. What are you even…UGH. I can’t handle you, you’re annoying. Go away. You literal butt. Please love me, you stupid bum.
Or is that just me?

thoughts the signs have at the dentist
  • aries: yo hey man now what is that shiny silver thing you're putting in my mou-AHHHDJSKH STEHOAOP PELAHSGE FHOCK OHMGG
  • taurus: you will not pull out my tooth you little shit don't even TRY
  • gemini: heheh this laughing gas stuff is great I'm going to tell you all my problems AND YOU CANT LEAVE HEHEH
  • cancer: sobbing noises in their minds
  • leo: WHAT GOLD FILLINGS ARE REAL??! CAN I HAVE 12???
  • virgo: ??? "my teeth aren't perFECT WHAT DO YOU MEAN I BRUSH AND FLOSS THREE TIMES A DAY - NO FUCK YOU IM OUT"
  • libra: this dentist guy is so hot mm
  • I'd totally do that
  • scorpio: okay I'm secretly scared of blood so DONT FUCK UP OR ILL FAINT AND ITLL BE ON YOUR HANDS
  • sagittarius: so ... no extreme sports after getting my wisdom teeth out...? for sure or like are there exceptions or what
  • capricorn: "hey dentist guy, sir, how much does this pay?"
  • aquarius: WHY ARE YOU SPEAKING TO ME WHEN HALF OF MY MOUTH IS NUMB - WHAT COULDNT YOU HAVE ASKED EARLIER YOU BUTTMUNCH
  • pisces: what do you mean, no food or drink for two hours ?? I just woke up I need breakfast ??

Interviewer: What’s the most amazing or adorable cosplay you’ve seen of either you are your team?

Clint: A group of kids running around shooting suction-cup arrows at random people shouting “I’m Hawkeye! I never miss!” Great work, guys. Need to work on the stealth a little bit, but otherwise, perfect. Perfect. [smirks]

Tony: Uh, some girl made a kickass operational version of my suit. Wait, I mean, not operational operational, because then it would have been extremely dangerous and not kickass, and I’d’ve had to arrest them or some shit, but the faceplate lifted and some little pieces popped up and it had pretty neat sound-effects. Like Star Trek sound-effects. I hired her to SI like, immediately, because I definitely need creativity like that in the company. The world needs creativity like that in the company.

Steve: [grins] They’re all pretty great, I love all the Captain America costumes. The most adorable one I saw, though, was a little boy dressed like Doctor Banner. Not the Hulk, but Bruce. This little kid with these too-big glasses and a too-long white lab coat and name tag that said “Bruce Banner”.

Tony: [nods in agreement] That one was pretty damn cute.

Thor: Someone dressed as my hammer with a cape. It was very strange … [smiles] but I did like it.

Natasha: [lifts eyebrows] There was someone who dressed as the quinjet. It was quite impressive, if a bit bulky.

Bruce: [still blushing from Steve’s comment]… Yeah, I liked that one …

Natasha: Also the kid dressed like Bruce.

Bruce: [drops his head with a sigh]

Carter Reynolds honestly disgusts me. What the hell is there to explain? Are you gonna blatantly lie to us? The fact is that your fanbase has seen that video (if you havent here’s a link http://lightweightxs.tumblr.com/post/122180542846/carter-reynolds-and-maggie-leaked-video-full) and we know what happened. You pressured your ex to try and suck your dick on camera despite the fact that she said she was uncomfortable with it MULTIPLE TIMES. Oh and the fact that she was pretty disoriented. You cant say she wasn’t in your little “explanation” tomorrow because she clearly was. This is revolting and I knew you weren’t perfect but this is crossing the line. Do you not understand what the word no means? Apparently not since you were too busy thinking with your dick instead of your brain. I hope your happy Carter because whether she sucked your dick or not, you just lost the majority of your fanbase. All because you were being a horny little shit.