and befuddling

darkeststar310  asked:

How about how Mai would benefit from Zutara?

What Mαi would Gain from Zutara

Mαi would gain the opportunity to date a boy who makes her smile:

Who shares her disdain for politics:

And whom she really seems to like more than Zuko.

She would be free of any ties to the royal family

And could go off on her own adventure

Where she wouldn’t be stifled by the palace and her parents.

Mαi:  I was a rich only child who got anything I wanted. As long as I behaved … and sat still…and didn’t speak unless spoken to.  My mother said I had to keep out of trouble.  We had my Dad’s political career to think about.

The burden of providing the Firelord with an heir would no longer fall on her

Which is probably for the best.

And she wouldn’t spend hour after hour, befuddled

Mαi: Zuko, what is wrong with you?! Your temper’s out of control. You blow up over every little thing. You’re so impatient and hot-headed and angry.

While her boyfriend is undergoing a metamorphosis that she doesn’t, and may never, understand.

Zuko: When I got to the meeting, everyone welcomed me.  My father had saved me a seat. He wanted me next to him. I was literally at his right hand. 
Mαi: Zuko, that’s wonderful.  You must be happy? 
Zuko: During the meeting, I was the perfect prince.  The son my father wanted. But I wasn’t me. 

She would get the opportunity to live for herself

And not have her life decisions revolve around Zuko.

And most of all, she would be free to associate with people who get her:

Zuko: I saw it and I thought it was pretty. Don’t girls like stuff like this?

Instead of a boyfriend who is as confused by her as she is by him …

Zuko: Well, at least I feel something…as opposed to you. You have no passion for anything.  You’re just a big “blah”.

Will never trust or open up to her the way she wants …

Mαi: All I get is a letter. You could have at least looked me in the eye when you ripped out my heart. 

And just isn’t that into her.

Azula: The thing I don’t understand is why. Why would you do it? You know the consequences. 

(Meanwhile … )

Zuko: My sister was on that island. 
Sokka: Yeah and she’s probably right behind us. So let’s not stop. 
Zuko: What I mean is she must have come here somehow. That’s our way out of here. 

(On the other hand … )

Sorry, Mαi.

this is your semi-annual reminder that that comic panel of Harlet whispering “is it because you love me?” into Ivy’s ear is specifically from an event where she bails on Ivy to get back with the Joker, uses Pamela’s lesbiocity to befuddle her and then kicks her off a building, and you all really gotta stop putting it into your cutesy Harley/Ivy collages cuz it’s the exact opposite of a thing you want

danversxsisters  asked:

"Hey, Diana? Thanks for letting me borrow your boots... it worked out really well!" She's smiling brightly as she hands you them back.

Diana still looks a bit befuddled as to why Kara wanted just her boots when she’d been hounding her for a while now to let her try on the whole armor.

“You are welcome… but I am still curious as to… why you wished to borrow them?

ok I know this post has been made 1000 times but seeing white ppl make white ppl jokes will never stop being bizarre to me… everytime some whitey with an icon of them in the flower crown filter goes “we know that, Barbra” it’s literally so confusing and befuddling…. like… where’s the self awareness???

I’ve seen posts about the paladins making up their own memes while in space, but I don’t think I’ve seen anything in regards to them referencing Earth memes and confusing the shit out of poor Allura and Coran. 

Ex: 

*everyone hears about Hunk’s cooking at the space mall* *proceed to throw Gordon Ramsey jokes everywhere*

Pidge, running in circles: “WHERE IS THE LAMB SAUCE???”

Keith, holding Lance’s face between two pieces of bread: “What are you?”

Lance: “An idiot sandwich”

Shiro, squinting at a plate of food goo: “This goo is so green, it could be coming out of your nose.”

Allura and Coran: ??????

..

Lance, to Keith after an argument: “Catch me outside, how bou dat???”

Allura: “We’re in space please do not exit the castle????”

..

*Lance slips and falls on something*

Pidge: “I can’t believe Lance is fucking dead.”

Coran, befuddled: “He’s perfectly fine all of his suits functions show-”

..

*loses Keith in a crowd* *Lance climbs onto a chair*

Lance: “LANCE IS A USELESS, SEVENTH WHEEL”

Keith: “WHAT DID YOU FUCKING SAY”

Lance: “There he is”

Allura, to Hunk: “Do humans often scream self deprecating sentences over crowds of strangers?”

..

Allura, in the middle of a fight: “WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP”

*cue paladins singing “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley*

Allura: “We are in BATTLE”

..

Coran, discussing infiltration plans for Galra base: “And then Shiro and Keith will enter in through the main doors.”

Shiro: “One does not simply walk into a Galra base.”

Coran: “That’s…that’s what I just said. Were you not listening?”

you know how everyone has that hc of andrew scaring his future teammates who get confused when they see him being soft with neil? like, i get that bc of andrews reputation but. neil’s fucking scary. dude has a bunch of fucked up scars all over his arms, chest, and face. prolly never smiles unless it’s to intimidate the opponent or when he’s destroying some reporter who stepped over the line. everyone knows his dad was part of the mob. my point is: neil’s teammates being scared of him until they see him smile and laugh and be soft when other foxes go to his games. even better: andrew going to watch a game one day and neil kissing his cheek before it starts. going back into the field with the goofiest smile. completely befuddling everyone on the field

No, Wait, You Got it All Wrong

You know what there’s not enough of? Canon compliant future fic where Stiles is a cop and he runs into Derek again. What’s that you say? There’s a ton of that?? Yes, true, but NOT ENOUGH.

“…. so then he says, ‘No, Officer, I swear to God this is the first time I’ve ever smoked up! I’ve never been in trouble with the law in my life! And I say, Billy, my man, you’ve been in trouble with me personally twice this month.” Stiles snorts at the memory. “Kid was so fucking high.”

Amanda must be halfway past tipsy, because she laughs uproariously into her beer at the mediocre punchline.

Stiles smiles. He’s satisfied with her reaction, with the warm murmur of the bar, with the buzz he’s got going… with just about everything, actually. After tonight, he’s looking at two full days off before he’s back on the beat, and the night’s still young. He leans back in his chair and takes a pull of his beer, savoring it.

Amanda glances towards the bar, probably considering a fourth round, and then visibly perks up as something near the front catches her eye.

“Oooh, Stiles,” she croons. “Look over at the door, like, just glance over.” She’s adjusted her gaze down at the table now, faking casual disinterest. Badly.

Stiles raises his eyebrows at her.

“This dude just walked in, he’s so your type,” she hisses. “C’mon, look! I’m telling you, six feet two inches of ‘yes, please, give it to me’ muscles, with some salt-and-pepper scruff icing. Unff.”

“Eh,” Stiles says, tipping his weight forward to hunch over the table. It’s not that he isn’t interested, exactly, but this is a cop bar and he doesn’t want to shit where he eats. Metaphorically.

“No, really,” Amanda insists. “He's… oh my God, he’s looking over here. He’s looking at you. Oh my God, Stiles, he’s coming over here!”

“No, he isn’t,” Stiles scoffs. He’s filled out a bit from high school and he’s finally competent at styling his hair, but he’s not that hot. Only Amanda’s sitting straight like a rod, eyes fixed on a point behind him that’s about where a six foot two man’s eyes would be.

“Stiles?”

He turns then, shooting to his feet before his brain’s quite caught up, because that voice is familiar like the back of his own hand.

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Dare | Jimin (M)


Fluff | Crack | Smut | Bff!Jimin | Policeman!Jimin

word count: 32.6k+

You and Jimin have been playing an ongoing game of dare since the fourth grade, the only thing off limits —much to his disappointment— was daring you to marry him.

A/N: i’m…. so.. ecstatic to be finished with this MONSTROSITY 


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I’m actually gonna cry, Jack 110% Laurent Zimmermann accidentally logiced himself into buying his boyfriend fifteen (FIFTEEN!!!) bouquets of roses, and probably didn’t even realize how ridiculous this is until he actually tried to explain to a very flustered and befuddled Bitty who has suddenly acquired 15 bouquets of roses to take care of and has absolutely?? No idea?? What he did to deserve this sweet and loving boyfriend?? (Just by being your wonderful and perfect self, Bitty, that’s how. <3) 

Unintentionally romantic Jack strikes again with his extra™ af ways yet again, I can’t believe how much he loves Bitty I just caN’T I CAN’T!!

2

things herbert mullin blamed for his murder of eleven or more people;

  • killing people would prevent earthquakes from happening, and had to be done in order to save the state of california. 
  • voices told him to kill. 
  • his victims had telepathically given him permission to kill them. 
  • that one specific time someone gave him marijuana that was an effort to “befuddle and confuse” him. thinks that if that man had not given him marijuana, he’d have just become an artist.
  • his family wouldn’t let him be bisexual, which made him murderous. 
  • he wasn’t allowed to join the marine corps or coast guard, which made him murderous.
  • mullin was born on the anniversary of albert einstein’s death, which led him to believe he was designated to be the leader of the universe. 
  • telepathic messages from his father saying “herb, i want you to kill me somebody”.
  • his father never gave him a blowjob and none of his family members gave him orgasms (which herbert thought should have been happening by the age of six), so he had to kill people, i guess???
  • his drug use was an effect of his father not having sex with him, and was another thing he blamed for his murderous ideas.
  • satan “got into him” and made him do things he didn’t want to do.
  • his parents were devoutly religious, but herbert believed that “jesus christ was a lie”, and any children who studied religion (as he was forced to do) would become susceptible to telepathic messages ordering them to commit suicide or homicide.

Person A had noticed that Person B had been acting odd all day and decided to confront them about whatever their problem was, because damn it, it was their job.

It wasn’t until A was driving B home later that day that they finally asked what was going on with B.

B instantly clamed up, and it wasn’t until they were almost to B’s house did they finally confess.

“…A, I’m sorry that I’ve been keeping this from you for so long. Your my best friend and I trust you so much but I have to tell you…I’m gay…”

Person A waited until they turned off their car in the driveway before turning to B and responding,

By full on making out with B.

“Babe, we’ve been married for the past three years.” And walking out of the car.

EXTRA: Person A smirked at the thought of B’s befuddled face left in their car.

#SherlockLives: The Resurrection

The day is April 23rd, 2017.  It’s an ordinary Sunday afternoon in London.

The crowd bustles, trains whirr, birds chirp.

Life in the city is business as usual.

Three teenage girls take photographs outside 187 North Gower Street, soaking in the ambiance of the Sherlock set.  They step into Speedy’s for a cup of coffee.

The women lament over the loss of their favorite show. On March 8th, the BBC announced Sherlock would not be returning for a fifth series, and cowriters Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss were quick to assure their fans that it was time to lay the beloved program to rest.

But what the women saw next changed their lives forever.

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princevolker2788  asked:

Dragon Age: Inquisition companions reacting to a young inquisitor (3 to 9) asking if they can sleep next to them after a nightmare concerning Redcliffe Castle. Especially if said companions were the ones who died protecting them as Dorian brought them back to the present.

Cassandra: She blinks at them through the darkness of night, and after a moment’s hesitation, consents and allows it. She’s awkward, but they go to sleep quickly, feeling safe near her. She eventually drifts off as well, feeling pity for the young one.

Iron Bull: He’s a little worried he’ll roll over on them, so he lays there motionlessly as they cuddle up against him and quietly go to sleep. He eventually drifts off, frozen in place, minding the spot the child chose to sleep in against him.

Blackwall: Awkwardly, he shrugs and allows it, unsure of himself as the child curls up against him and goes to sleep. He had heard about what happened in Redcliffe, and he understands their wanting to be with someone, but… him? He feels peace settle over him as the child begins to snore, quiet pride and quiet duty, and he follows suit.

Sera: She wordlessly pulls open the cover and lets them crawl in, and the two sleep soundly as she gently puts an arm over them to reassure them that she is real and they are safe.

Varric: He allows it, for once quiet as slumber threatens to take him back. He grunts as they push against him, and he relinquishes a sigh. “You’re safe, kid. We’re all okay.” The words settle them as much as he wishes it would settle his nerves, and he drifts off as they do.

Cole: He doesn’t sleep, but he lies down and lets the child cuddle up against him. “Warm and comforting, arms of love pulling me close, warding demons off, you feel safe. You are safe. I’ll do my best.” He lies there as long as they sleep, and feels happy for doing so– he helped.

Dorian: He’s a little worried and unsure of how exactly to comfort them. “Are you sure you want to sleep in my bed? Not with Cassandra or… someone else?” he asks warily. The child insists and crawls under the sheets. Dorian sits there for a moment, a bit befuddled, but the child starts drawing quiet little breaths as they fall to sleep, and he follows suit quietly.

Solas: He quietly allows it. “Come, da’len; I will ensure no demons serve you nightmares. The majesty of the Fade will guide us to peaceful slumber.” His words soothe them, and both drift off in peace.

Vivienne: Normally, she would adamantly refuse, but the child is teary and shaking, so she sighs and lifts the sheet up. “Don’t plan on making a habit of this.” she warns. At the same time, she feels something bubbling in her chest, something like warmth and quiet pride, and she drifts off to sleep peacefully.

Josephine: Like Sera, she quietly holds the sheets open, remembering times she had to do this with Yvette or any of her younger siblings. She has performed this duty many times, one of comfort and love, and she feels their panic fading away as they curl up against her. Both drift off quickly.

Leliana: Without so much as a word or a glance up, she holds the sheet up and allows them in before drifting off to sleep, her arm settling over them quietly. They feel extra safe– nothing can hurt them when the Spymaster is there.

Cullen: He’s half-asleep, and a bit too incoherent to process what’s going on, but he gives in. He finds the next morning that his own nightmares were fewer and of less intensity, and he only prays the poor child felt safer, too.

Here’s a representative gif for all of them:

Originally posted by cutepikachu

Sooo... Explosions!!!

Well, this is my first ever tumblr post(Yay!), sorry if it goes a little wonky. Anyways! Found this blog a few hours ago and have been reading through it on and off. Hilarious, and I just could resist making my own little twisted and hopefully comical contribution. :D

So, we’ve seen the posts about fire, injuries, even the cleaner bot know as Stabby. Even a few about invasions and fights and the like. But what about recreational shooting? With modern-era firearms, not the super-quiet no-recoil sci-fi things everyone always thinks could be in the future. I mean, it seems like everyone enjoys a good ole giant gun going off. You just can’t help but grin! So, without further delay, here we go!

It was - insert unpronounceable alien name(Let’s just call said alien Zeb and for the sake of sanity, use the same gender pronouns as we do.) - Zeb’s first of his two recreational rotations for this cycle. After the long and boring time of this most recent cycle, Zeb figured he could go for a bit of excitement. After all, there was rarely anything to do during a lowly Level 2 patrol. Apparently the captain had… irritated someone higher up.

Shaking his head, Zeb banished those thoughts as the door to the on-ship shooting range opened with a soft hiss. Stepping inside, he checked in with the range master and headed to a free spot. Setting the case containing his personal grav-pulser onto the deck and removing the weapon, he soon fell into the comforting rhythm of shooting, all other worries being drowned by the various whines and hums of other shooter’s weapons.

A while later, during a short break as Zeb recharged his weapon’s power cells, he noticed one of the human members of the crew check in with the range master. Dismissing it after a moment, he went back to shooting. As he drained one power cell and went to smack another home, he felt a tap on his lower right shoulder. Pausing and glancing down at the human, he tried to recall the name of the figure before him.

“Ah, Human-James, may I assist you with something?”

“Nah, just wanted to make sure it was alright if I set up here,” the brown head-furred human replied, gesturing to the shooting bay beside Zeb’s.

“Certainly. I thank you for asking.”

“Thanks, not a problem.”

For a moment, Zeb watched as the strange little human placed two cases on the floor, one of which was almost as long as Human-James was tall! The short human then extracted a wood and metal contraption in the vague shape of a beam-rifle from the smaller case. Taking obvious care with it, he started to go through a series of checks that honestly left Zeb quite bored. Turning back to his shooting, he thought nothing more of the human he was now sharing the shooting range with.

Moments later, Zeb nearly dropped his grav-pulser as the human bellowed.

“EYES AND EARS!!”

In a moment of utter confusion, every single Chlivloit in the range turned to look at the lone human. That human looked back at them with just as much confusion.

“Eyes and ears?” he repeated, befuddled by the lack of response.

“Yes, our visual and audial organs are functioning properly, why do you ask?”

“Look, just… put the blast shield down on your stations for a moment if you don’t have safety glasses, and cover your ears.”

“Why?”

“Please? Just do it?” Human-James seemed to be getting increasingly agitated, Zeb noted, as he quickly followed the instructions.

Nodding in satisfaction as the rest of occupants do the same, curious about what was about to happen, Human-James put a small box into the bottom of the rifle-like thing before moving a large lever of polished metal in what seemed to be a very specific motion. Bringing the stock of the weapon up to his shoulder, Human-James took aim down the primitive optic sights. With barely any warning, the human squeezed the trigger of his weapon.

BANG!

Ears ringing, Zeb thought his heart would leap out of his scaled chest both from fright and the invisible hammer that smashed into his body. Worse was when he saw Human-James’ upper body jolt from the apparent catastrophic failure of his weapon.

“WOOHOO!!” Human-James cried out, setting the thunderous weapon down and pumping both hands into the air. “Bullseye, baby! That’s what I like to see!”

“My… congratulations on your impressive marksmanship, Human-James. But why are you so happy, if I may ask? Your weapon failed, did it not?”

“Failed?” the human seemed genuinely confused. “Why would it have failed? This was my great-grandfather’s gun, and it’s been handed down ever since. My family has taken pride in keeping it in top shape.”

“Then why did it explode so violently, as it if it was a micro-nuke launcher, not some form of rifle?”

“Nah, it didn’t explode, it’s supposed to do that. This is a gun, not those fancy grav-thingies we tend to use now. Shoots a small piece of shaped copped-coated lead down a rifled barrel using the expanding gasses of a controlled explosion. It’s much more fun than those new ones. So much less… clinical.”

“Fun. You call nearly deafening yourself and removing your arm ‘fun’?”

“Oh, that was nothing. This is just a .30-06. You should see my .50 cal! Here, I’ll show you.”

And then Human-James pulls a “gun” almost as long as he is tall out of the other case before holding up two different size cylinder-shaped pieces of brass.

“This is a .30-06,” he said, pointing to the smaller of the two. It was about the size of Human-James’ second smallest finger. “This is a .50 cal,” he finished with a grin on his face. The larger of the two was bigger than the .30-06 by almost half in length, and more than twice as large in diameter.

“What is that?! A missile?!”

“Able to penetrate some forms of armor at decent range, or take out a target at the very edges of believability. Now people just use them for fun.”

“Fun.”

“Yup!”

“…I think I need to talk to the captain… The briefing on your species needs to be updated… again.”

Alternate Ways to End Combat in an RPG

Hello, readers! At the moment, I’m super busy prepping a Lovecraft Legacies LARP event, but I didn’t want to fail to offer some DMing advice this week. So I grabbed an old article I wrote for the website GeeksDreamGirl.com. I wrote it with 4E in mind, but it’s lessons translate to any game. Enjoy!

Combat is an integral part of many RPGs. In some, it’s a necessary evil. In others, like D&D, it’s an exciting part of the game. Sometimes, the PCs are facing truly evil and villainous foes that need to be wiped from the face of your campaign world. Sometimes, however, you want to have a battle end in something other than a complete massacre of one side or another. What if the PCs are facing honorable foes who’ve been duped into fighting them? Or what if they’re facing foes who vastly out-number or out-power them? Is a slaughter the only answer? Obviously, the
answer can and should be no.

Here then are five ways to end a fight before the battlefield is drenched in the blood of one side or another. You can use these ways to keep a battle short, or to offer an alternative to simple one-
sided destruction.

A Fight to First Blood

If the PCs are facing honorable foes, or are fighting in a tournament, they may choose to fight to “first blood”, and I’m not referencing any cheesy 80s action films. In 4E D&D, this is an easy
concept: have the players and NPCs agree to fight until someone hits their Bloodied value, and use this as the threshold of when someone finally draws blood on the other.

This has a lot of basis in reality. Knights at tournament wanted to show their prowess at real battle, and first blood was a way to show one’s skill, but to avoid seriously injuring one’s foe. Likewise, a duel that was serious but didn’t need to be to the death would sometimes be fought to first blood. This served as a grim reminder to the wounded – I bloodied you once. Next time might be more fatal.

Holding Out Like a Hero

This is a particular favorite of mine. In it, the PCs aren’t necessarily planning on winning a fight, but only of surviving and holding off foes until a set goal is reached. This is particularly effective for when the king can get to safety if his loyal knights can last ten rounds of combat, or if a wizard needs them to hold until he gets six successes on Arcana checks. Combined with Skill Challenges, this can make for a memorable sequence. Skeletons will keep pouring out of the crypt until the cleric successfully re-consecrates it as a skill challenge of minor actions, or the room will keep filling with water that’s inhabited with shrieking eels until the rogue resets the trap mechanism. It’s up to the party to hold off the skeletons, eels, or what have you.

You can use this device to simulate a scene like Helm’s Deep. The PCs have to hold out a certain number of rounds until the reinforcements arrive. Especially in combination with an ever-increasing number of minions, this can give the proper feeling of literally holding off an army.

Cutting Off the Head

The orcish army feels unbeatable until their leader, Gruzhgarn, is slain. When the necromancer is killed, the undead crumble back to lifeless husks. The wolves will flee in dismay if their alpha is killed. If you make one or more of the enemies the linchpin holding the rest of the monsters together, then you can give the PCs a goal other than simply slaying every monster on the battlefield. Once the leader-type monster goes down, the rest will surrender, flee, return to their home plane, etc. I especially like the feeling of “kill the wizard and his minions will return to the Elemental Plane.” It’s something that makes a logical sort of story sense, and it gives an out to the players.

A variation on this is “this monster is invulnerable until condition X is met.” In my current campaign, a great example was Auntie Mengybone, whom I’ve mentioned in other columns. She was harnessing the life-force of a captive Arch Fey to constantly heal herself, making her effectively invulnerable. Several of the PCs with Controller-type powers kept her busy and away from the other PCs who were freeing the Arch Fey through a skill challenge. Once the Arch Fey was released, she immediately went into retreat mode, leaving her minions to fight the PCs. She didn’t escape, but, if she had, she would’ve likely become a recurring villain in the campaign.

Live to Fight Another Day

There’s an adage that most PCs would rather have their character killed than have them captured. I’m not sure what the psychology around this is, but I agree that it’s true. That doesn’t mean, however, that you have to have your monsters behave the same way.

I befuddled my players in my Eberron campaign by having the changeling villain they’d been fighting step back, go defensive, and offer to surrender, but only if the Lawful Good character
promised him mercy. The party was immediately suspicious, but they reluctantly agreed. This let me draw a fight that was already a foregone conclusion to a quick close and keep a valuable NPC
alive for a future sequence. And when the PCs found out later that he’d escaped the prisons of their patrons, they cursed his name – darned, tricksy changelings!

The other trick is to have monsters flee. They might be running for reinforcements, or they might be running for their lives, but sometimes monsters, especially intelligent ones, might choose to abandon a fight that they’re clearly losing. Earlier editions of D&D had complex Morale check systems to help a DM determine whether or not a monster would fight on or drop their weapons, but, nowadays, story is the arbiter of such a decision.

Stop. Just Stop.

I would never suggest that you should declare a fight against the PCs and tell them they’re all dead. But good news! Your monsters don’t have any ego beyond that which you invest in them.

If you’re down to two half-dead orcs, everything else is dead, and the PCs are still in excellent shape, you can call that fight. Sure, the orcs might do a little more damage, but is it really necessary to eke every hit point from the player characters that you can? I think not.

Some DMs, and some players, don’t like this approach. They want to know exactly who did what, who killed whom, and noodle the fight down to each hit point. That’s not my style of game play. If it’s getting late, and I have an important plot point to make before game ends, and this fight is slowing me down, I’ll sometimes call a fight once it’s clear how unlikely it is that the PCs will lose. “Well, the ogre has 15 hit points, and you’re all going to get to attack before he does. Unless you really want to know who kills the ogre specifically, let’s call it. Someone describe for me how the ogre dies.” My players were baffled the first time I did this, but they’ve
come to appreciate it.

In Closing

Not every fight has to be fought to the last HP. Sometimes, there are reasons why a fight should end early, and sometimes it’s just more convenient to move things along rather than dither down to the bitter end. Using this tool, you can make battles more about the story and excitement and less about drudging down to the last hit point.