and because its hot in my room

some soft klance things
  • the castle is really cold at night, so a lot of the time keith will slip into lance’s room for warmth.
    • he doesn’t know how, but lance is always very warm and soft. (keith suspects this is because lance is like sunshine: glowing and radiant and full of life and energy. but he’d never say that out loud, because that’s like, super lame.)
    • and keith finds space really, really cold; living in the desert in dry, hot, awful heat for an entire year with no AC, and then suddenly being thrown into the void??? yeah, he’s not dealing well with the transition
    • it’s kind of a Thing between them. neither of them speak about it. they never speak about the way keith will slide under the covers beside lance, or the way lance just instinctively snuggles closer and throws an arm over keith’s waist, or the way keith’s entire being thaws when he sees how peaceful lance looks when he’s sleeping.
    • once they’re finally Official™ keith will make a point to tell lance how pretty he is when he’s sleeping, and lance will fluster and reply with a stuttered “yeah well–you– you’re pretty all the time, so suck it.”
    • (they’re both blushing messes for like, an entire week after this)
  • lance doesn’t deal well with quiet, and most of the time, that’s what space is. there’s no background hum of electricty– altean technology is completely soundless, they’ve discovered– or of wind or rain or family or anything. it’s so quiet it’s deafening, and lance always feels like he’s suffocating.
    • more often than not, it’s hunk who notices first; they grew up together, so he can tell as soon as lance is starting to panic. he’ll usually take lance somewhere private and just talk to him until he calms down.
    • keith notices this and wants to help, too. he’s not really good at talking, but lance is his boyfriend, and he hates feeling like he’s useless.
    • so one time lance starts getting really quiet and tense and he’s starting to shake gently and hunk is Nowhere To Be Found, keith is the only one there, so he does the first thing he can think of and just (hesitantly) pulls lance into a hug and starts rambling some senseless story about a really cool lizard he found in the desert one day.
    • eventually lance is shaking harder and keith is about to just go get hunk because oh god he’s making it worse but then lance looks up at him and his eyes are rimmed red from crying but he’s smiling and laughing
    • keith melts and chokes on his tongue and loses his ability to create words, but that’s okay, because lance is hugging him back and kissing his cheeks and whispering “thank you” and “i love you” over and over again.
  • lance gets keith to do a face mask with him like, at least twice a space-equivalent of a week. 
    • keith doesn’t really care all that much about skincare, obviously. he’s just a ‘splash water on your face and go’ kinda guy. when lance learns this, he is horrified.
      • “you don’t even wash?” 
      • “well i used to use soap sometimes but–”
      • “like hand soap???”
      • “yeah. like dove or whatever shiro had around.”
      • shiro used dove????”
      • “yeah i guess? i didn’t pay attention to what he washed his face with lance what the hell”
      • “HEATHENS, BOTH OF YOU”
    • so yeah lance is deeply offended. he’s like, “you’ve offended me, my mother, and ALL of my ancestors with your CARELESS ANTICS” and keith snorts and pins his hair back and says “then teach me, you moron” and lance is shook and goes “oh. yes. okay”
    • he somehow managed to create a few different face masks with space goo + ingredients that mimic like, clay, shea butter, coconut oil, etc. from around the universe and he slathers this muddy looking one all over keith’s face.
      • “for detoxification, retexturising, and radiance,” says lance.
      • “alright,” says keith, who doesn’t know what that means.
    • it has to stay on for a half hour so they’ll spend that time just laying there shoulder to shoulder on lance’s bed, sometimes holding hands, talking about whatever, until keith starts grimacing and saying “its getting all hard and dry and i can’t move my face” and lance says “that’s normal” and keith looks at him, horrified
      • lance: starts laughing
      • keith, trying desperately not to: STOP don’t make me laugh MY FACE IS CRACKING
      • lance: laughs harder
Critical Shipping
  • Marisha: Yeah, [Matt] would lately, after the insurgence of the Percy/Lillith fan art that started hitting, when people started shipping Percy and Lillith -
  • Laura: Oh my god, I love that!
  • Marisha: I know, it's so good. The art's SO good. So we were like okay. So, the first one that Joma did that came out where it's Percy leaving the room -
  • Taleisin: Yeah!
  • Marisha: With Lillith on the bed.
  • Laura: Oh god! Oh god!
  • Marisha: And we were like -
  • Laura: That was so hot!
  • Marisha: Aw yeah, we were like, "Aw, that's really hot!" and Matt's like, "But not canon! Not canon! Not canon!" Cut to Matt being like, "... Although you know... It could be a thing where, like, maybe Percy was staying up late and he was like working in his shop -"
  • Taleisin and Laura: *laughing and gaping at Matt, respectively*
  • Marisha: "and then Lillith comes in and she sees him -"
  • Travis: Oh my god!
  • Matt: I was just - No! That's -
  • Marisha: "And she's like 'Ya know what? We could be doing this.' And then he's like and he's feeling a bad day, so she, like, touches his cheek and they go up to the room." And I'm like, "ARE YOU WRITING FANFIC!? Are you writing Percy and Lillith fanfic, RIGHT NOW!?!"
8

Spin The Bottle (Josh Dun Smut) (Requested)

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Word Count: 1859

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A/N:If you guys haven’t seen the movie The First Time you should totally watch it because it’s so fucking good and its one of my favorite movies ever.

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*I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE GIFS OR PICTURES I POST, UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE. CREDIT TO THEIR OWNERS.*

- I was sitting in my room on a normal Saturday night, eating hot pockets and watching Netflix, when suddenly my best friend Josh burst into my room.If it were anyone else I would be super angry and I’d probably yell vulgar things at them but me and Josh have been best friends since we were 6. He lets himself into my house and I let myself into his closet and I steal all of his clothes. Josh climbed up onto my bed and stood over me with his hands on his hips “Okay seriously? This is the 4th Saturday that I’ve come into your room and walked in on you watching Netflix and eating something with cheese in it.” I groaned loudly “Here’s a solution, stop letting yourself into my house.” Josh ignored my comment and plopped down next to me. “You’re not even watching anything new! You’ve watched all of  Bob’s Burger’s like 3 times!” I rolled my eyes “So?” He closed my laptop and took my plate of food. “Josh what the heck!” He didn’t respond he just picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, my head down by the back of his knees. “Jooosh put me down.” I whined, hitting his butt in the process. “Nope not until you agree to come over to my house tonight, I’m having a party and you have to come. No exceptions.” I stayed silent for a second and Josh pretended to drop me. I involuntarily yelped before yelling “Okay, okay fine! I’ll come to your stupid party, just put me down before you drop me on my head, you maniac.” I heard him chuckle before he dropped me gently on my bed. “See that wasn’t so hard now was it?” I stuck my tongue out at him and he pretended to bite at it, looking at me with wide eyes. “Get out so I can get dressed for your dumb party.” He stood up and walked out while yelling “Party’s at 8 be there or be…” I closed my door cutting him off. I changed into a black dress with a flannel and slipped on my black combat boots. I grabbed my phone and my headphones and started walking to Josh’s house. Even though we live in the same neighborhood we still are about 5 minutes walking distance from each other. I finally arrived at his house and checked the time 8:15. I mean I guess I’m fashionably late. I let myself in and went into his kitchen grabbing a bottle of water before making my way down into his basement where everyone was. As I walked down his stairs I heard laughter and multiple conversations. Everyone came into view and I knew most of them from Josh, as there were only about 20 people. Josh saw me walk in and he came over to me “Hey! You actually came.” He grabbed my hand and led me over where everyone was conversing. I noticed Josh’s friend Tyler was here and I said hi to him, quickly starting up a conversation. Somehow the topic of spin the bottle was brought up and Tyler shouted over everyone “Hey why don’t we play spin the bottle!” Everyone agreed and sat down in a large circle. Tyler went first and spun the bottle landing on a blonde girl who I didn’t know,Josh nudged me and told me her name was Jenna and that Tyler had a huge crush on her. Jenna spun and the bottle landed on me. I gulped and spun hoping that I would get someone good. It landed on a kid named Brendon. He was attractive but is known for being a bit of a man whore. I kissed him and it was nice, nothing special, and it only lasted for a few seconds. Brendon spun and it landed on a random girl. While the game continued on I glanced over at Josh and noticed he looked upset. I nudged him and whispered in his ear “are you okay?” He just responded with “Yup” and stayed looking forward. I didn’t want to push his buttons so I turned my attention back to the game just in time to see the bottle land on Josh. He spun and I almost passed out when it landed on me. “…Uh you can just respin.” I didn’t want Josh to feel like he had to kiss me because of some stupid game. But of course Tyler had to yell out “No way! Rules are rules! You gotta kiss her bro even if she’s your best friend.” I blushed and looked over at Josh. He muttered “rules are rules” before leaning in. His lips met mine and after a second I started to kiss back. The kiss was rough and needy but soft and passionate. After a few seconds people starting making wolf whistles and clapping so we hesitantly pulled away, both blushing like crazy. We played for a few more rounds and I ended up getting Tyler which was super awkward at first but it turns out that he’s a really good kisser, and I also got Josh again. This time it didn’t last for just a few seconds. It wasn’t until Tyler made a joke about Josh swallowing me whole, that we pulled away. We hung out with everyone for a little while longer but it was quite obvious that there was something bothering Josh. He just had this look on his face and I had never really seen it before. Josh made the excuse that he was getting tired and everyone started to leave. Once everyone was gone I stood up from his couch to leave but he grabbed my hand. “I don’t think we finished what we started earlier.” I turned to look at him and that look was back on his face, this time with darkened eyes and closer to my face. He stood up and slipped his hands around my waist, leaning in. Without hesitation I reattached my lips to his, this time not holding back. I ran my hands through his hair and tugged on the ends gently. He deepened the kiss, running his tongue across my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I granted it to him and I began to walk backwards until I hit what used to be Josh’s school desk. He pushed off all of the old papers and pens and lifted me up, standing between my legs. He started to make his way down my neck sucking and biting harshly, leaving purple and red marks behind. I gasped as he pulled away blowing lightly on them. Josh’s raspy voice cut off my heavy breathing and hushed whimpers “I hate to break it to you kitten, but I don’t like seeing you kiss other guys, and I also don’t share very well.” He moved his mouth closer to my ear with each word and I felt myself getting more and more turned on. “I’m yours Josh, please just do something.” I felt like a child begging for a lollipop in a candy store. I heard him grunt as he pressed his growing bulge against my thigh “say it again kitten.” I wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed myself against him, bringing my mouth up to his ear. I whispered “I’m yours Josh” before nibbling gently on his ear. I saw his eyes flutter shut for a second before they shot open when I slipped my hand under his waistband. He grabbed my wrist and glared at me “You aren’t in control here kitten. I am. Now stand up.” I slid off the desk and looked up at him. “Why don’t you take my shirt off for me kitten.” I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up, discarding of it once I got it off. I dropped down to my knees and began to undo his jeans. There was no way he was going to keep up this angry act, he might have been jealous before but he was slowly realizing that he had nothing to worry about. I tugged his black jeans off and pulled down his tight briefs. He sprang free and he watched me intently as I wrapped my hand around him. I placed a soft kiss on his tip before licking a long stripe up his length. He threw his head back and groaned. I swirled my tongue around the tip before taking him in my mouth, using my hand to get the places I couldn’t reach. I pushed him deeper down my throat and he hissed “Woah kitten, slow down, or this is going to end way faster than either of us want it to.” He lifted me up and carried me back over to the couch where he sat down and pulled me onto his lap. “Let’s get this off of you babygirl.” He tugged off my flannel tossing it in the direction of his clothes, doing the same with my dress. I wasn’t wearing a bra so I was left in just my soaking wet panties. He kissed down my collarbones and then quickly attached his mouth to my nipple, sucking and biting gently on the hardened nub. He switched to the other one after a few seconds but quickly stopped when I bucked my hips and whimpered loudly. My thighs were now shaking and my panties were drenched. I moaned loudly before whimpering “Josh please fuck me, I need you so bad.” He smirked and tightened his grip on me “You don’t have to tell me twice kitten.” He flipped us over so he was hovering over me before he lined himself up at my entrance and pushed in. He groaned “holy fuck you’re so tight.” He just kept hissing and muttering profanities under his breath while slowly pushing in and out of me. Finally we both adjusted and he started building up a rhythm. His hands were wrapped around my thighs and he leaned down, pressing soft kisses to my forehead every so often. I felt a warmth in my lower stomach and I felt myself tighten around Josh. He adjusted his position slightly and started thrusting harder suddenly hitting a spot that left me clawing at his back for more. I gasped loudly and gripped onto his shoulders as I felt a knot build in my stomach. “I’m so close kitten.” I only moaned in response, my brain too worked up to come up with a real answer. “H-harder.” I managed to stutter out. Josh’s thrusts became sloppier but he still obliged to my request, pounding into me with every thrust. Josh leaned down and purred in my ear “come for me kitten.” and I lost it. I tightened around him and my hips bucked as I screamed his name, he thrusted a few more times before he reached his peak too once again hissing profanities and moaning my name under his breath. He rolled off of me to catch his breath before getting up and grabbing me his T-shirt and throwing on his underwear. I slipped his T-shirt on and he slid on the couch next to me. He kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms tightly around me. I cuddled into his side and let sleep take over.

It must be the Equinox or whatever. It’s scorching hot in PH. I can’t. *flies to Alaska*

I’m seriously not happy with the weather. I’ve been staying inside my room for two full days because its the only place in our house that’s well ventilated.. or should I say cold?

I’m not sure how long this would last. Is it five days? Or a week? Stay hydrated guys.

the signs as aph quotes
  • aries: If you don't disappear while I'm tying my shoelace I'm gonna flip you over (Netherlands)
  • taurus: vODKAAAAAAA (Russia)
  • gemini: No one asked you, cheesy monkey (England)
  • cancer: What the crappola happened here?! (Romano)
  • leo: Whoa, ice cream? I'm totally coming there to hug you (America)
  • virgo: I hide dark secret no one will guess because of my sweet face (Russia)
  • libra: I am far way too gorgeous to have been in a stuffy room for so long (France)
  • scorpio: I once killed a man in his sleep with its own moustache and a grape (Germany)
  • sagittarius: I'm so hot I could kiss myself (England)
  • capricorn: When I look into all of your stupid faces, I think how fun it will be to pound them into dust (Russia)
  • aquarius: Oh no! I suck! (Ukraine)
  • pisces: My only friend growing up was a yak (Russia)
A hot summer day and an empty house

im shit with titles

anyways, i wrote this as a way to cope with my recent anxiety so its probably more fluffy than gross


The air in their shared room was hot and thick. The window was open to a slight crack, but it was no help, since it was summer and the air outside was as hot as the air indoors, maybe even hotter.

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Things heard at marching band

“Do you wanna be my hooker?”
“Toes up, no choo-choo training”
“I want those angles so perfect you arm hurts”
“I wish the piccolos didn’t exist…”
“The new baby bass is hot”
“I literally want to die”
“Why is marching band so early in the morning”
“Its literally black outside if papa d says were still marching im going home”
“I got new drillmasters are you jealous”
“Why do the freshmen get the new helmets!?”
“Why cant we take coaches ALL the time”
“My instruments a dude because i blow it all the time”
“I will shove this stick up your ass if you dont shut up”
“Its so… hot”
“Look at my tan line!!!”
“Seniority!!”
“Fuckin’ freshies”
“No shoes in the locker room.”
“Fanny packs are stylish and functional, fight me”
“I want you early to being early”
“Im hungry. Let us eat!!! Please dear god i dont want to die of FAMINE”
“i want to just lay here and accept death”
“*lays on floor and groans*”
“Why isn’t marching band considered a sport… fuck man,”

Avengers Headcanon

Ok, yes, but imagine the Avengers having a water gun fight…

  • Steve’s the one who starts it 
  • It’s a really hot day in the middle of summer and they’re all looking for something to do to cool off
  • So Steve’s rifling through some old boxes in one of the many closets in the tower and finds these weird multicolored plastic guns
  • Naturally, he’s really confused 
  • So he goes to Natasha, because he knows that she’ll know and won’t judge him too harshly, like the others in the tower… (*coughs* Stark *coughs*)
  • she explains what a water gun is and Steve is COMPLETELY intrigued by this 
  • Suddenly the two just look at each other and grin evilly - they have a plan
  • After filling up a few, they sprint to find Tony, their first unsuspecting victim  
  • Steve doesn’t even hesitate when he finds Tony lounging in the kitchen - he just lets a full stream of water straight at him 
  • Natasha’s crying with laughter, and Tony’s staring at them. Then he grins wickedly and just says “I see you’ve found the old water guns”
  • all chaos breaks loose after that
  • Natasha and Clint take it waaaay too seriously, being assassins and all, and they’re running around and sniping their team mates left and right
  • Clint’s hiding out in air vents and ceiling rafters squirting everyone’s head and leaving before they can retaliate 
  • Thor eventually gives up with the guns and just fills up buckets of water and throws them at people 
  • Even Bruce gets involved, sneaking up on Natasha, which leaves everyone shocked (and slightly afraid) 
  • Steve and Tony have this ultimate rivalry thing going on, just going back and forth with each other, trying to establish dominance 
  • In the end, the tower and its occupants are sopping wet
  • but hey, at least they’re no longer hot 
crushes are stupid

crushes are stupid. You know why? You become involved with someone you know you can never have. All you can do is watch them be happy and most likely be with someone else. It sucks. I suppose that’s why it’s called a crush: because it crushes your soul. I hate it. mainly because I have a crush and I know never in a million years would he think to look at me the way I look at him. The way his smile lights up the room makes me smile and feel all funny. The way his back tenses up whenever he stands up or sits down is so hot I can’t help but stare. It sucks. every day I drive home and remember that it will never happen and that its just a crush. But its crushing my soul

So far I have to say the biggest problems with Homefront: The Revolution are:

1.) The main resistance characters are utterly unlikable. They’re deranged lunatics. You’ve got Aw Shucks It’s Time for Warcrimes, and Shadow the Edgehog Torture Lady. Also, the KPA should easily be able to identify and kill Resistance members because any that don’t cover themselves in blue paint look like they spent six months in the stomach of a Hot Topic before being shat out into Philadelphia

2.) The soundtrack. It’s mostly okay until you’re in an area that needs its one suspense track. I may be oversensitive to this at the moment because I’m a bit under the weather, but after an hour or two of constant GROOMBUM BUM BA DOOM,  GROOMBUM BUM BA DOOM my head is killing me.

Bonus: I have no idea WTF the KPA is saying but they keep yelling something like “Poopoo!” when they’re looking for you

klance aesthetics: 

-keith being proud like “look its my hot dumb boyfriend” and lance is like “yeah! wait did you say dumb”

-big slut keith being like “ok so am i gonna suck your dick now or what” and lance is like “hohh oly shit” because hes a virgin whose never even kissed a boy adn thought his first time would be special and not his enemy propositioning him in the training room showers

-keith wearing yoga pants and tying his hair back

-lance asking keith if he can kiss him despite the fact that theyve already been kissing like 20 times in the last hour

-lance staring at keith’s lips

-keith being really into lance’s bad flirting and shiro is just like ‘no, kid. don’t. dont do this.’

Its 4am and im in the corner of my room listening to Shes kinda hot ep for the first time and im crying because the boys have come so far. Because their voices are much more different. Because the lyrics are so deep they cut through my fucking soul. ITS 4AM AND IM CRYING BECAUSE 5SOS HAVE DONE A BEAUTIFUL JOB IN THESE SONGS AND THEY FINALLY ARE ARE LETTING OUT WHAT THEY REALLY WANTED TO DO IN THE START. THEY’RE LIVING THEIR REAL DREAM OUT AND IM SO PROUD. Who knew that and Ep could make you feel this way

the signs as actual shit my dumbass coworker cory said before his ass got fired
  • Aries: wouldn't it be cool if like the moon was its own planet
  • Taurus: hi i'm cory i'm nineteen
  • Gemini: my back hurts so bad because of all the mma i do i have to go to the chiropractor all the time. i would quit but im too good
  • Cancer: wanna see my sick tiger tat?
  • Leo: *listening to dark industrial beats in the break room on his phone super loud* sup bro
  • Virgo: im 19
  • Libra: bro what do you do in your free time i play league like ten, twelve hours a day
  • Scorpio: *at full volume in front of customers* bro isn't it super hot when girls wear knee high socks like that school girl look damn
  • Sagittarius: *after getting called in to the office for disciplinary talks for the 3rd time in two weeks* dude you are the most chill manager i've ever had
  • Capricorn: im nineteen but i get alcohol all the time
  • Aquarius: my girlfriend is a brazilian model (some of these are paraphrased but this is absolutely verbatim)
  • Pisces: how old are you bro im 19
ok but imagine

Zoe accidentally revealing Phan in a vlog??

Zoe casually vlogging at Playlist Live in their hotel and Dan and Phil are hanging out with her and Alfie, and in the background you start to hear:

Dan: “JESUS christ it is so hot in this room Zoe needs to call room service my god.”

Phil: “Are you sure its not because of me?”

Dan: *chuckles* “If i say yes, will you finally stop saying that forever?”

Phil: “forever?!”

Dan: “Forever, Philly.”

Phil: *dramatic sigh* “Fineeee.”

 Dan: “Alrighty then, its because of you.”

*both laughing* Phil: “Love you.” 

*a second of pause and Zoe squeels.* “Love you too.” 

*a short kiss noise* 

Dan: *enters room* “Oh no, your filming? Im sorry Zoe, can you please cut that out?I know you have to say whatever it was again but…”

Zoe: *smiles and pans the camera to Dan* “Aww, you two are so adorable!!”

Dan: *Laughs momemtarily.* “But seriously, Zo.” 

Zoe: *sighs* “Yea, i got you.” 

******

One day later the blog is uploaded. Zoe tweets it out with the caption “Gahh! Spent hours editing this vlog cause i did it at 4 am on a plane. Sorry for the delay!” 

And the viewers suddenly realized, in her exhaustion, she never edited that piece out…

it’s fall and suddenly mY LIFE IS FILLED WITH JOY AND PUMPKINS AND CINNAMON CANDLES AND SWEATERS (lots and lots of sweaters) AND APPLE PIE AND PUMPKIN PIE AND WEARING SOCKS THAT STICK OUT OF BOOTS AND HOT CHOCOLATE AND FIRES IN THE FIREPLACES BUILT INTO THE LIVING ROOM AND HALLOWEEN MOVIES AND PUMPKIN CARVING AND DOGS THAT GET DRESSED UP FOR HALLOWEEN AND GOING WAY OUT OF YOUR WAY TO STEP ON CRUNCHY LEAVES AND OVERPLAYING THE RED ALBUM BUT ITS ALRIGHT BECAUSE!!!! ITS!!!! FALL!!!!!

This is a photo of my side of my dorm room at Indiana University back in 1997 or 1998.  My Bible (in its fabric teal case, because Nineties) being covered by a pile of Beast Wars toys is probably diagnostic.

I still have that surge protector that’s under the monitor.  It’s at my feet.  It’s, um, more yellow now.  I also still have the Bible, still in that case.  The binding isn’t looking so hot these days.  

for some reason the owner of all these posters and various action figures did not make any friends

haha i was cleaning my room and simultaneously not feelin so hot and i found this under a huge junk pile and it’s some little book i made when i was 8 or 9 

looking through it cheered me up so im gonna share it before i inevitably put it away in some box to probably never see it again

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