and basically everything else just stop

Being pregnant with Chris Evans' baby:

Originally posted by chrisevanshh

Some parts of the pregnancy are slightly exaggerated to give more humor.

• It’s no secret, Chris has said many times he wants to be a dad and he’s looking forward to it. So, when you stand in the bathroom with the positive tests in hands, you really aren’t stressed about telling him. You’re quite excited to see his face because you love kids too.
• When you tell him you’re pregnant, he looks at you with wide eyes because he has no idea how to react: he’s probably thinking of how much he wants to kiss you for the rest of his life or asking you to marry him all over again, or even make another baby right now!
• Though, it’s not long before he reacts when he sees the five pregnancy tests. He laughs so happily as he spoons you in his arms that you can’t help but giggle and he keeps telling you he loves you so much.
• He can’t even stop kissing you or your tummy.
• The first days after the announcement, he keeps giggling with you and asks himself if it’s a dream or not. He also tries not to freak out and get nervous.
• Your families are overly happy to hear the news.
• His mother cries at this moment because her baby boy will have his own baby.
• Chris worries about his ability to be a good father, but you kiss his insecurities away and tell him he is a great father already because he wants to be a dad for so long and that’s also something he gotta learn with time and with you.
• He takes care of you all day. Every day.
• You can wake him up at 2 in the morning to eat your favorite meal.
• You both eat Starbust’s jelly beans right after.
• Chris plans your baby’s first trip to Disney World secretly. He buys everything he needs to make sure they will love everything related to Disney!
• He is unsurprisingly protective.
• Chris grins like an idiot for hours whenever he hears the heartbeat of your baby and when he feels their very first kicks.
• - “Stop carrying me everywhere, Chris. I can walk. I’m pregnant, not sick.”
  - “I know, but I don’t want you to take a risk.”
• Chris is here for you every step of the way and assures you he loves this baby and you more than anything else.
• He realizes that marrying was the best choice he made you when your hormones are going wild.
• One day, you catch him purchasing some Patriots baby gift sets and clothing. You basically have to stop him before he can buy everything related to his favorite team in the NFL store.
• He’s still currently trying to find a Tom Brady bodysuit with “Baby Evans” flocked at the back.
• You call your mother every time something new happens during your pregnancy and when she says everything is fine, Chris calls Lisa to double check.
  - “Did you seriously call your mum?”
  - “Sweetheart, it’s just to be sure.”
• Chris smiles every time you say you look too big, but he thinks you are gorgeous as ever with this baby bump. Because you carry life, so nothing is more beautiful.
  - “Chris, why are you even staying with me? I look like a potato.”
  - “You are perfect and this the most beautiful moment of our lives. It’s our baby inside.”
  - “Okay, I trust you this time. But only because you’ve also gained weight.”
  - “That’s my gi… Wait, what?!”
• Chris sings Disney songs every night to your baby before sleeping. Let’s be honest, he does this all the time.
• He wants to have a boy first just to teach him how to prank you in the future.

Bonus:
• He is in-between a mix of stress and joy when you go into labor. He’s there for you, though.
• You almost crush the bones of his hand when you push.
  - “Never again! I will never let you touch me ever again, Evans! Heard me?!”
  - “Don’t exaggerate, it’s- OUCH!”
  - “Please, Mrs. Evans, stop threatening your husband. You have to push!”
• Chris cries and smiles when he holds your baby for the first time.


PERMANENT TAG LIST:
@feelmyroarrrr @gallifreyansass @bicevans @ballerinafairyprincess @misschrisevans @always-an-evans-addict @kennadance14 @buckybarnesisalittleshit @helloitscrowley @captainamerica-ce @kiwi71281 @topthis808 @dead-lee-15 @the-daydreamer-girl @our-love-world @hellomissmabel @voidobsession @mrssierrarogers @redstarstan @punkrockhippiefromthefourties @angryschnauzer @fangirling-is-what-i-do-best @minstrel-axx @captainamerotica @kaitlynthehuman @juneookami @mellifluous-melodramas @sfreeborn @buckyswinterchildren @potterhead1265 @castellandiangelo @louisespecter @fvckingevans @katnisswa @justanotherfangurlz @10kindsofderp @1enchantedfantasy1 @logan8546 @thewinterpunkass - tell me if you’d like to be added. :)

You Drive Me Crazy (Star Lord Reader Insert)

Anon Request: May I please request a star lord one shot where you and Peter really hate each other and you always disobey his orders and you’re both constantly fight but there’s lots of sexual tension and one day you and him get trapped in the ship and you’re yelling at him and he’s had enough and smutty smut where we get dominant star lord? Thank you you soooo much oh and btw I ADORE YOUR WRITING💕/hiiii, so idek how to say this but i really want a ‘bad girl’ and spanking/daddy kink going on with our sexy star-dork, i meant, star-lord. let’s make it very rough and animalistic. oh god i need help im sorry im awkward. thank you so much and im a fan of your work :)

Warnings: smut, language, orgasm denial, daddy!kink, spanking, overall roughness

Words: 2836

i’m so sorry i haven’t posted in like 10 years but here ya go! enjoy!

———————————————————————————————————

The loud slam of your door echoed through the ship. God, you needed to either punch something or scream. He was so goddamn infuriating and you were reaching your breaking point. Peter was always on your ass about something and he was especially pissy today just because you didn’t listen to him on the mission.

Essentially, your plan was much better than his. But because he was the great Star Lord and everything had to go his way or else he’d throw a bitch fit, you went with his idea. Basically, you were sent out to stop some group of galactic douchebags who were on a rampage planet over planet, stealing and murdering innocent people. Their leader was an easy target, for he was obnoxious and gaudy whenever he made his appearance.

“Stay behind and wait for the signal,” Peter ordered. You rolled your eyes, but cooperated and got into place with him behind the grimy dumpster. However, the leader came stumbling out of the bar he was currently pillaging. He was obviously inebriated, judging by his slightly greened, yellow skin and the sloppy smile painted across his face. And, there were also only three of his bodyguards with him. There couldn’t have been a more golden opportunity.

Moving to charge at them, Peter stopped you by grabbing your ankle. He was still crouched on the ground and he shot you warning look that let you know if you did this, you’d be in trouble later. Deep down, you relished in pissing him off, so you silently blew him a kiss and slipped out from behind your hiding place.

It was almost too easy enough taking them down. A few good punches and a swift kick to the groin later, they were all whining on the ground like newborns babies. Even though you’d earned yourself a nice bruise to the cheek, you grinned valiantly in Peter’s direction. However, the loud bang of the bar door being kicked open made you jump and, once the rest of the group saw their leader was on unconscious on the ground with you standing over him, and all out warfare began. You were lucky enough to dodge the first few blasts of gunfire and run back behind the dumpster as the Guardians shot back.

Once the firing had stopped and bodies lied splayed across the ground, you sighed and ran your fingers through your hair calmingly. Your wrist was gripped tightly by none other that Quill, who pulled you up harshly from your stooped position into a standing one.

“What the hell happened to the plan?” he gritted. You tried pulling your hand away but he was stronger, especially when he was angry.

“I improvised,” you replied coolly. This time, you were successful in ripping your arm back and you turned on your heel before walking away. Usually, this was his cue to shut up and drop it. But, when you heard his heavy footsteps behind you and felt his taut grip on your upper arm, it seemed as though this was far from over.

“Don’t walk away from me!” he yelled, stopping you in place. Your eyes widened slightly at the volume of his voice, for he was never one to really yell, but you quickly recouped yourself. “I am sick and tired of you not listening to me! You’re gonna get yourself killed if you keep pulling stupid shit like this!”

To be fair, he was right. You didn’t listen to him or anyone for that matter. Taking orders from someone else was something you rarely did and, because of that fact, there were always problems between Peter and yourself. He wanted to control you, you didn’t want to be controlled.

“Back off, Star Bitch,” you fought back, using that name you knew he loathed. “I took him down just like I was supposed to. What more do you want from me?”

“I want you to stop acting like a bratty little kid and take orders properly!” He stepped closer to you in an attempt to be intimidating. You moved even closer, unafraid while almost completely closing the space between you two.

“I don’t need to take orders from anyone, especially you!”

Peter’s glare was hard, eyes narrowed and ablaze. You weren’t scared of him whatsoever and definitely weren’t going to be talked down to like you were born yesterday. The bickering and fighting continued all the way back to the ship and was only interrupted when the talking tree said his only line.

“I am Groot.”

“Haha, I was thinking the same thing,” Rocket laughed. Simultaneously, you and Peter both directed your daggering glances from each other to the small raccoon. He held his paws up in defense and shook his head, still chuckling obnoxiously. “Hey, don’t look at me. I didn’t say it.”

“Then what did he say?” you demanded.

“That you two should just do it already.” Unintentionally, your jaw dropped at the insane thought. You, luckily, were able to fight down the heat that threatened to crawl up your cheeks and come up with something to say back so you didn’t look as dumbfounded as you felt.

“Sorry, but huge asshole isn’t my type.”

“Well, aggravating bitch isn’t mine,” Peter retorted. You huffed and rolled your eyes, storming back to your bunk. This was always happening, but it’d never gone this far. Anger boiled deep within you and your mind wandered around murder and how to get away with it.  There suddenly was a loud pounding at your door and you groaned loudly as you were forced to get up. After maliciously flinging the door open the door, it was none other than Quill again.

“And by the way- whoa!” He was cut off short by his body being forced in a collision with yours. Losing your balance, the both of you fell to the ground in a heap with the weight of his body almost crushing you completely. You caught a glimpse of Drax before the the door slammed shut, meaning he was the one who pushed him, and a heavy click followed. Shoving Peter off, you got up and went to open the door. When you pressed the button, and an ear piercing hiss was heard. Judging by the sound, someone must’ve rewired your door to lock from the outside and you resorted to pounding your hands against it.

“Let us out!” you called, still thumping your palms against the exit.

“Oh no, neither of you are getting out of there until you make up… or make out,” Rocket announced through the door. You faintly heard him snicker to himself before he continued. “Seriously though, you guys are giving us all a headache.”

“If you don’t let us out of here, I swear I’m going to skin you alive,” you threatened, desperate to leave this confined space. Especially when Peter was in there with you.

“We’ll be back later and if you have to go, try holding it in. Have fun!”

“Rocket!” you screamed. Giving up, you turned around and leaned back against the door, sliding down into a slump on the floor.

You went for God knows how long without talking. How long had it been? Minutes? Hours? The concept of time seemed to disappear more and more as the tension grew the same. Finally, he spoke.

“This is all your fault,” Peter muttered to himself, now lounging like a fat cat on top of your bed. How dare he?

“You got something to say, Star Bitch?” you sassed, getting up from your seated position. You strutted over to the bed where he lied lazily with his hands folded behind his head and you put your own hands on your hips. At the mention of the nickname he hated, Quill glared up at you and sat up.

“Yeah, (Y/N), I do. This is all your fault,” he repeated while standing up so he could tower over you.

“Please elaborate for me.”

“Well maybe, just maybe, if you listened to me for once in your goddamn life,” he explained condescendingly whilst taking steps forward, urging you to step back, “none of this would’ve happened.”

“Well maybe, just maybe, you can kiss my ass.” And with that, you pushed past him and went to sit on your bed, arms folded under your chest. However, he quickly pulled you up from your seated position and slammed you against the wall, holding your wrists down so you couldn’t move. His movements were fast and, on impact, almost knocked the wind out of your lungs. “Get your hands of me you piece of-”

You were cut off short by his lips pressed in a bruising kiss against yours. It was astonishing, for it was the last thing you expected. A war raged within your mind, battling between whether to still be angry or not. It was very confusing. You welcomed yelling and screaming, maybe even some hitting, but this newfound intimacy was shocking. And judging by the growing warmth in the pit of your stomach, you weren’t completely dissatisfied with it. An unintentional moan escaped your throat as your eyes fluttered closed and you finally joining in the kiss.

Your wrists were still pinned against the wall so you unable to touch him and his grip tightened even more as he moved to nip sensually at your neck. Gasping as his teeth sunk into your delicate flesh, he sucked a mark then move to whisper against your ear.

“You need to learn how to listen and not be so defiant,” he muttered, his voice an octave lower than usual, “and, obviously, I’m gonna be the one to have to teach you.”

Even though his tone was an enormous turn on, his words themselves were not. Something in the back of your mind still didn’t sit well with obeying him, but you played along with his little game anyways.

“Now,” he began as he released your hands to grab your ass instead, “what was it you were about to call me?” You hesitated, debating on whether or not to actually tell him you were going to call him a piece of shit. But he was impatient and demanded your answer by pressing his thigh against your pant-clad, yet heated, core. You threw your head back against the wall and began melting slowly. “Answer me.”

“Daddy,” you moaned, not actually meaning to call him that. As soon as it slipped out, you immediately felt embarrassed and awaited a snarky remark about your secret kink.

“That’s more like it,” he hummed. This whole experience was just surprise after surprise and, to be honest, you didn’t want it to stop. “Anything I say, you do and you ask for permission otherwise. Understand?”

“Yeah.”

Yeah?

“Yes,” you corrected yourself. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Go over to the bed.”

You wanted to put up a fight, you wanted to give him a hard time but your legs were already shuffling towards his desired spot. He strutted up behind you and moved your hair to one side to leave rough kiss on the nape of your neck. His lips smirked against your skin when you moaned and Quill forced you onto the bed on your hands and knees. You kept your face forward and suddenly felt your pants being tugged past your hips, consequently exposing your butt to the mild air of the vessel. His fingers traced the curve of your bottom and you shivered with delight, feeling yourself getting wetter with anticipation.

“Count them,” he ordered. Before you could question what he meant, a hard slap made contact with your skin. It stung badly but he soothed it over with the palm of his hand.

“One,” you said, breathing uneven. Smack after smack after smack, your cheeks turning bright red under his hard touch. You were at 13 now and you could barely take anymore. Peter could tell by your heavy pants that you were though and flipped you over so that your back was pressed against the soft mattress.

Peter took his jacket off and threw it across the room a little too dramatically. It fell into the corner with a loud thud and you would’ve laughed at his over-intense attitude had your clothes not been practically being ripped off.

Your top was ripped over your head, your bra snapped open, your pants pulled off your legs, leaving you only in your panties. In the heat of the moment, you forgot the rules and tried pulling at his soft cotton shirt. Quill stopped, smacking your hands away and grabbing your jaw to make your look at him. His eyes were cold and serious and you felt anxious as you lie naked underneath him.

“What did I say?” he asked harshly.

“Anything you say, I do and I ask for permission otherwise,” you repeated his words from before meekly.

“Good girl. And did you ask permission to take off my clothes?”

“Peter, c’mon, I-”

“Excuse me?”

“Daddy, please. I want you,” you begged. Your body was hot and on fire, for all you wanted was him. It was taking too long and patience wasn’t one of your virtues. He began trailing kisses down your body and you shivered under each one. His teeth grazed over your hip bone as his finger hooked under the waistband of your underwear. Then, he pried you thighs open, holding your legs tightly in place and exposing your wetness.

Peter nipped and sucked at the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, the scruff of his beard slightly tickling you.

“Daddy,” you pleaded again, desperate for something. He chuckled a little to himself before ghosting his tongue all the way up your pussy, getting a full taste. You gasped at the terrific sensation, which egged him on. He sucked on your clit, licked patterns around and dipped his tongue inside you. My God, he was good at this. It seemed as though he was everywhere at once, a climax slowly consuming you. Your lower stomach burned with need and you called out his name, so close to it. Then he pulled away completely. You looked down to see his that stupid smirk he always wore. He crawled up to kiss you, tasting yourself on his lips.

“It’s about time I make you as frustrated as you make me. You don’t come until I say so.”

“God, Peter, I swear- oh!” He curled his fingers inside you, stroking your g-spot with each pump. Just like before, you were at the edge only to be left there without release when he pulled away again. It took everything in you not to just finish yourself off, but you waited as best you could as you watched him remove his garments. You reveled in his incredible physique, his line of work keeping him in amazing shape.

Then he pounced on you, completely nude with a striking erection. His muscles were robust, his body hard against yours. He smelled of his masculine cologne and intoxicating musk that you could get used to. You waited for it, the sweetness you’d feel when he was finally giving it to you, but it never came. Instead, he littered your neck with kisses and bites which, while it was enjoyable, you wanted to cherry on top.

“Daddy, I want you to fuck me, please,” you whined. He grinned against you skin then moved to nibble on your ear.

“Are you gonna listen to me from now on? Be a good girl for me?” he bargained. When the words ‘good girl’ fell from his lips, your hunger only grew more insatiable. You’d never nodded harder in your life and as soon as you agreed, because you knew he wanted it too, he thrust into you. A loud moan was heard on your part and you were thankful everyone was gone or else they would’ve surely heard it.

His cock was thick and filled you perfectly. Peter started off slow, then picked up and an incredible pace. You were already so close, but you held out the best you could. His skin was dewy and you wanted to lick every inch of it.

“Daddy, please can I?” you breathed needily.

“Go ahead, babygirl.” In a matter of second, with the help of that little pet name, you were shouting his name to the rooftops as you finally got what you wanted. Heat flashes and stars consumed you as you exhaled, feeling all the tension wash away. Quill came too, a heavy grunt and a ‘fuck’ enacted from him.

He rolled down next to you, both of you sweaty and sticky but satisfied completely. About 2 minutes later, the same loud click from before was heard and you had just enough time to cover your exposed body before Rocket strolled in with a grossed out look on his face.

“So, I see you two… made up,” he hesitated. You couldn’t help laughing a little and Peter joined in. Rocket groaned and turned to leave. “You humans are so disgusting, I swear…”

i’m listening to the deh soundtrack again and i’ve stopped on requiem, and i just. it’s so sad? connor wasn’t the best person, granted, but god. “and when the villains fall, the kingdoms never weep, no one lights a candle to remember them.” “everything wasted, nothing to say.” connor was depressed. mentally ill, and god knows what else. he went to rehab, it didn’t help, and clearly, somewhere along the way, someone decided that therapy wasn’t going to help connor, and connor likely went on to self medicate with weed. and that failed too. ???he’s dead. and most of his family is basically saying “you wasted everything we gave you, good riddance.” jesus. and the line “don’t tell me that it wasn’t black or white.” zoe is justified in being mad at her brother - god knows that people dealing with what connor was lash out, and generally act shitty to the people around them, there is no excuse for that. but the fact that she seems to be blatantly ignoring that there was a gray area has to hurt. yes, connor hurt her, but he was hurting just as much, and she without a doubt hurt him in return. i can’t imagine that connor felt that his family really cared for him that much when he decided that enough was enough.  

“My 600 Pound Life” Rant

Everytime I watch an episode of My 600 Pound Life, I find myself thinking, “Well, aren’t you lucky.”. Seriously, I’d love to be even half the size of some of the people on that show. I hate it when they complain too, they say they hate being this big. Life is nearly impossible to live at their size, that they can’t stand to look look at themselves in the mirror everyday. That they feel like a gross, disgusting monster. The ones who are immobile get me jealous the most. So in short, everyone on that show hate their body.

If I were there size, I’d learn to enjoy weighing over a quarter ton. Not just enjoy it, but love it. Love every second of being that big, love being completely out of shape, love eating enough for a family of 4. Basically, love every aspect, problem, and everything else that coming with weighing over a quarter ton. I’d tell those people to stop complaining and enjoy their humongous body, like I would myself. 

Chocobro 4/20 Headcanons

Warning: I AM ABOUT TO TALK A LOT ABOUT WEED AND YOUR FAVS. If ya don’t like it, don’t read it. Also: for those who are inexperienced, for the love of god be responsible. Don’t go out driving. Know your limits. With that being said, also have fun. These are some ideas @insomniascure and I had talked about this morning. Some are based on our own flubs while under the influence. All fun, all silliness, all fluff.

Keep reading

tbh i’ve realized that everything is basically jus mind over matter. like u know how when ur stomach starts hurting and sometimes u’ll try thinking of it not hurting just cause ur curious and it’ll instantly stop? same thing with everything else. if u want to give up because u feel its not going to get better, change. your. mindset. if u’ve been laying in bed for days bc someone hurt u and ur blaming urself, change ur mindset. nothing will get better if u continue to think of/focus on the things hurting you. mind over matter. u’ll be okay.

anonymous asked:

favorite lesser-known fic writers?

OH! Uh, what exactly qualifies as ‘lesser-known’? Here’s some writers who I think deserve some more appreciation, not 100% sure if they’re lesser-known (let it be known I kinda strictly read lin stuff now, so i’m not well versed in writers beyond that).

@down4usnavy - IM SUPPORTING THEM THROUGH EVERYTHING THEY DO. their young!lin series basically owns my ass??? and im desperately waiting for another one??? so i’ll just keep re-reading their other stuff as i wait.

@hamiltonwrotetheother51 - new source for sin. enough said.

@fully-armed-batallion - just wrote a super cute lin fic that has me so excited for whatever else they put out!

@imagineham - so kind and amazing and TALENTED so yeah love them

@l-nmanuel - don’t get me started or i’ll never stop.

@gunsandfics - THEYRE SO SWEET I LOVE THEM theyre full of love and talent and i admire them bye

i’m sure there’s literally a million more people, but i highly recommend going through my fic rec tag and any reblogs on this hamwriters post, which asked for writers and their masterlists (which is soon to become a very comprehensive list)!

if you find someone you like, please rec them to me, i am always looking for more people to read!

Nose Bleeds

“Wha—?” Joe spluttered as his chin was suddenly grabbed and his head turned away from the computer he had been looking at, his eyes locking with the concerned ones of his boyfriend.

“This is the third time this week,” Jack said, his thumb brushing just under Joe’s nose before pulling his hand away, showing the older man his finger. “What the hell, Joe?”

“Oh,” Joe lifted his own hand to his face, wiping away more blood, blinking at the red on his skin. “I didn’t even notice…”

“I know.”

“How are you mad at me right now?!”

“This is the third time, Joe!” Jack crossed the room to grab paper towel, “This week alone!”

“I told you,” Joe sighed, tilting his head back, shifting the computer in his lap to the side, “I’m fine.”

“What about the two nosebleeds you had last week?”

“It’s really nothing, love.”

“And what if it’s something?” Jack asked, sitting beside Joe as he handed over the paper towel, watching his boyfriend press it against his nose, the routine familiar now. And that bothered Jack greatly. “Please, just go see a doctor. That way a professional can tell me it’s nothing.”

“How many times do I have to tell you,” Joe lifted his head back up, lowering the paper towel as he looked over at Jack, “I’ve had them all my life, love. I’m completely fine.”

“If you were fine, you wouldn’t mind going to a doctor.”

“Alright! I’ll go.”

“Promise?”

“If it means you’ll finally bloody shut up,” Joe mumbled, rolling his eyes at the smile on Jack’s face, “Then yes, I promise to make an appointment.”

“Thank you,” The younger man leaned in to kiss him, but stopped, wrinkling his nose, “Actually, no kisses until you clean up.”


A week later, the two are sat in the doctor’s office, a shocked look on Joe’s face.

“Wait, what?”

“I’m surprised you haven’t come in sooner,” The doctor commented, flipping through the papers in front of him, “With how often you said you had them.”

“I just,” Joe shifted in his seat, “I never felt bad after one, and they happened so often that it became normal,” He shrugged.

“Nose bleeds that frequently aren’t normal.” Jack snapped lightly, his grip on Joe’s hand tight.

“Don’t worry,” The doctor smiled softly at the couple sat across the desk from him, “It’s not too bad, but he’s right, it isn’t normal.”

“But it’s also not too serious,” Joe is quick to say, repeating the words the doctor had said only a few minutes prior.

“No, it’s not,” The doctor clasped his hands together, leaning forward on the desk, “In your case, it was caused by an injury from earlier in your life, and because it never healed properly, you became more prone to nose bleeds. They can be trigged by stress or dehydration—“

“Both of which you frequent,” Jack mumbled under his breath, sending the doctor an apologetic look at Joe’s pointed look.

“And they can also just happen for no reason, really. The point is that you’ve come in, and now we can begin to treat it, so we can stop them.” The doctor finished.

“Thank you,” Joe smiled as he stood.

“Not a problem, Joe. Just talk to the receptionist out front and we’ll get things sorted. I’ll see you soon.”

“Will do,” Joe nodded, tugging Jack out of the room.


As soon as the couple was in the hallway, their footsteps muted by the carpet under them, Jack gave Joe a smug look.

“Are you serious right now?” The older man rolled his eyes.

“This just proves you should listen to me.”

“You’re glad that you were right about there being something wrong with me.”

“No,” Jack stopped, pulling Joe to face him, “I’m glad that they’ll finally stop. And I can stop worrying about them.”

“You mean you can go back to worrying about everything else?” Joe teased, his thumb brushing across the back of Jack’s hand.

“Basically. You heard the doctor, they can be caused by stress and dehydration. I know for a fact you have been stressed and not drinking nearly enough water, and that’s going to change.”

“Oh great, I get my own personal nurse.”

“I’m going to be the best damn nurse you’ve ever had,” Jack grinned, pulling Joe a little closer so he could kiss him. “Now, let’s go make that follow up appointment to get you fixed.”

“Yes, Nurse Maynard,” Joe drawled, laughing as Jack lead him down the hallway.

Rap Monster Scenario - Closer To The Edge - Smut-Ish

Scenario Masterlist

Anonymous said:

hi i really love your blog! would it be okay To request a Namjoon Smut Scenario with his girlfriend who is very innocent and a virgin but keeps accidentally teasing him without realising and makes him frustrated?Thank you very much, you dont have to do it! 😄


There was probably a long list of things you’d accidentally done to really turn Namjoon on, but you just weren’t that good at figuring them out. Sure you could name all the stuff you’d done intentionally, mostly when you were making out. And it was only making out.
He was your first boyfriend, your third kiss, and after that, basically your first everything else but you’d really stopped around second base. Some of your friends liked to tease you about how innocent and virginal you were but thankfully, you friends were much less innocent. Through them you’d learned about all the sex stuff, including a far more detailed than you wanted discussion on blow jobs, but you still hadn’t done anything beyond second base yet and that stuff intimidated you.
And while you were pretty comfortable pulling moves while making out, outside of that, you weren’t really trying anything, at least not intentionally.
He knew that you were not interested in sex and since the two of you lived with other people anyway so the logistics would also be complicated, too. Like, your doors didn’t lock so if you were in any state of undress, and someone decided they needed something in your room without knocking, a lovely, extremely awkward situation ensued.
So usually you were pretty G-Rated, with an exception for the times where you could get away and be alone for a while and some PG-13 action commenced.
Except where you were innocent and perfectly happy to live with a non-corrupted mind, Namjoon wasn’t. Not that you were all too aware of this since you couldn’t read his mind. While you were none-the-wiser, he was keeping a list of things you’d done that just made him a little frustrated.
Number 1: Messing with your hair. For you, it’s a nervous habit or innocent flirty move, depending on your mood. For him, it mostly gets him thinking about pulling your hair back to kiss your neck, at the innocent end of the spectrum, or while he slides in and out of you from behind on the less-than-innocent side of the spectrum.
Number 2: when you stretch. For you, it’s just something you do your muscles when you wake up or have been sitting and working for a long time. For him, when that sliver of your midriff gets exposed, he just starts thinking about how you look with the rest of you exposed.
Number 3: When you lick your lips. For you, it mostly happens when they’re a bit dry or your thinking. For him, it just gets him thinking about making out with you; specifically passionately making out with you, when you’re pinned underneath him.
Number 4: When you’ve just taken a shower. Occasionally, your only thought about this is when you’ve shaved your legs and they’re as smooth as can be. For him, there’s something about your smell, the flush in your skin from the hot water and the more relaxed appearance of your hair that makes him think less than pure things.
Number 5: When you’re trying to be cute. This usually features you doing a little dance or batting your eyes, especially if you want him to do something for you. You’re trying to be cute but he sees it as being sexy.
Number 6: When you’re cooking wearing an apron. All you think you’re doing is being nice and making your boyfriend, and maybe the members, food but he’s thinking about a naked apron fantasy.
Number 7: When you’re holding hands and wrap your arm around his, pushing yourself closer to him. Usually you’re just reveling in being close to him, or being close to his warmth and you’re cold. But he’s thinking about your boobs pressing into his arm.
Number 8: When you sit on his lap. You’re usually just doing it because there’s no room anywhere else at the apartment and you can’t really sit on the labs of the other members. He spends that time holding in a boner while your butt is touching his dick.
Number 9: Spooning. For you, a warm and cozy way to nap. For him, it once again means holding in a boner for an unknown amount of time while your butt is once again against his dick.
Number 10: When you are crossing and uncrossing your legs. This one you’re just going to have to think about.  
So while he’s decently frustrated and admittedly he’d love to have sex with you, he’s definitely not going to force you and he can always work out his frustrations personally.

who am i?

24601! (haha i’m so funny, but i’m not actually a prisoner that escaped parole)

hello studyblr community! i suppose it’s time i introduce myself. i was kind of enjoying being cool and mysterious… (ok i’m not that cool but) ANYWAY.

let’s pretend my name is maria. it isn’t really but i like the concept of anonymity and also not a huge fan of my name. just for funsies, i’ll automatically follow the first 5 people to guess each of the 5 reasons i chose the name “maria”. honestly just curious to see what you’ll come up with. :D

i’m a second semester freshman in college (obv in the us because what other country names everything differently than the rest of the world) and hope to major in biomedical engineering and chemistry. [more things below the cut! because scrolling through long posts when trying to reblog is a struggle]

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6

I did in fact go to Tokyo the other day, and ofc I stopped by the skytree aistars character shop. (at this point I could probably go from here to the skytree in my sleep…..)

I was basically just there to buy the Koharu strap, but I also got a aikatsu aphorism keychain (Ichigo!!!) + two tries at the glitter garapon (…postcard x 2). then there were six! whole! choices! for the promo aikatsu card and this Heartful Lace Tiered skirt was probably the cutest. everything else is the pile of free handouts they stuffed in my bag.

Fix a Heart 20

Chapter 20 - Wrap Your Arms Around Me

We’re all fragile underneath
This coat of armour isn’t thick or deep
When we break it’s hard to hide
The way we hurt inside
When I come undone at the seams
My heart is on the floor for all to see
Do that thing that I need
Wrap your arms around me

“Babe, I’m going to cancel my meeting today.” Val said as he looked down at his wife who was tucked into his lap.

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Glimpses Update

Hi, loves! 

When I started out with writing this collection, I was convinced it was only going to be 66 chapters long, thinking the chronological aspect of it would just fall into place.

Little did I know. Besides the original 66 (which will be updated with 22 new chapters, btw), everything else is a chronological mess! Seriously. 

So! @whatlighttasteslike had a FANTASTIC idea and basically created this page for my blog where all Glimpse fics (Glimpses, Unabridged, S.A.D.I.S.T., etc.) are easily stored, categorized by season and then by episode! 

So now, you can truly stop on by and read every single fic that corresponds to the episode currently givin’ ya the feels without putting in the work of tracking it down.

I hope you enjoy the new system. Thank Mel for the idea and creation! 

Just check out my blog, and you’ll see a tab aptly named “Glimpses”. It’s all there. I’m still amazed.

And when you pop in on my blog, you’ll notice the brilliant new header made by the lovely @bioforensics

Seriously. These two. <3

My new and improved blog!

The Glimpses page! 

GUYS GUYS GUYS #Kevin Keller as your bestfriend

I REALLY NEED KEVIN KELLER TO BE MY BEST FRIEND OMG JUST IMAGINE

-Being able to have loaddssss of sleepovers with him because your parents know he’s gay and are comfortable with him around a lot anyways (and so are you ofc)

-Talking boys with him (especially about Archie lmaooo)

-Just talking about boys non stop

-Boys

-Males

-Guys in general

-Okay other stuff too lmao

-Friend cuddles

-Your face buried in his shirt or his head on your lap as you both quietly enjoy the comfortable silence

-Playing with each others hair

-Telling each other everything because you love each other so much and don’t know how you’d function without the other

-Being sad when one of you is sad

-Being happy when the other is happy

-Basically being one with the other

-Spying when one of you are on a date with someone else, making sure the guy is good and the date is going well too

-After the date (that you both either attended or witnessed very closely) you talk intensely about what y’all think

-Just being the happiest with each other because your friendship with each other is the best goddamn thing in the whole fucking universe and even though the town isn’t going so well, you have each other and that’s all you goddamn need

Originally posted by seekerofrelief

Hey who want to hear something fucked up? No one? Okay here goes.

I’ve actually got this headcanon that, in a slight AU, Kankri’s culler used chucklevoodoo bullshit to make him sleepwalk. And one day she made him sleepwalk outside during the day and had him open his eyes and boom, all of a sudden he’s burned his eyeballs and gone blind a la [S] Make Her Pay.

And of course, this being according to plan, she then proceeds to not teach him or give him anything that would aid in him functioning independently so as to control better every aspect of his life from his food to anything else he might need and basically keeps him completely confined to the hive with no contact with anyone but her and occasionally her quadrant mates while she continued on her forced pale bullshit because there is no one to stop her.

Like this is honestly one of many worst case scenarios I can imagine for Kankri continuing to be culled because no game occurred and everything is just horrible for him.

7

Happy 1 year to Neverland93 !!!!

It’s been a year on here and oh my gosh I am so excited for more imagines and more videos, more one shots, more smut,fluff, and everything else!

I could not be more thankful for you all, it all started out as a place where I could escape and just wanted to let my imagination became reality.

Peter Pan(Robbie Kay) held a special place in my heart since day 1, I watched the Ouat episodes on Netflix so i basically binged watched season 3, I fell in love with his acting, his attitude,his sass,his sarcasm, his chestnut brown hair,and most importantly his eyebrows. *wink wink*

Btu anyway I will always write Peter Pan imagines, as long as my life goes on I don’t think I’ll ever stop writing, it’s one of my passions.

So thank you for all of you who have stuck by me since day 1 and all who have just joined, you guy’s are the best!

jeongguk's google search history

— white t shirts

— white oversized t shirts

— shirts

— just white shirts

— timberlands for a decent price

— girl wearing timberlands wallpaper

— how to get your best friend to stop acting gay

— jikook

— how to stop jikook from being real because jimin just omg pls google i’m so desperate

— how to look manly when you’re just a cinnamon roll

— how to become a polygot and basically do everything else to make you golden

— exercise workouts for the arms

— exercise workouts for the stomach

— workouts

— jeon jungkook wikipedia

— how to avoid park jimin

— restrainingorders.com

— is taehyung’s ideal type me (jeongguk)?

— g-dragon tumblr

— g-dragon abs

— g-dragon smiling

— g-dragon cute

— big bang

— cute puppy videos

— g-dragon updates

I totally get people annoyed with plot holes in Sherlock...

But let’s lay off saying Authur Conan Doyle would do better. 

I LOVE ACD’s books/stories. I grew up on them. But that dude had plot holes as big as craters, including forgetting John Watson’s name some of the time. And every once in a while he’d just basically write ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ instead of explaining how Holmes figured something out. 

So stop making him the pinnacle of plot continuation. Ask Mrs. Turner Hudson how that is not true. 

anonymous asked:

Hii!! So I read Know You Got That Thing (that i like) a while ago and I liked it so much the smut was really good in it. Can you recommend me similar fics? Where it's short and doesn't have tons of angst but still has a nice little plot..

So short (<15k) and smutty but not pure pwp, right ?

It’s gonna be long, so under the cut !

(you can add all the fics of the The 30-Day Smut Challenge  )

- know you got that thing (that i like) : In all the ways he thought about their reunion going, watching Louis finger himself open was not on the list. (15k)

- Sail Your Sea, Meet Your Storm : Louis is thirty, single, and a bit of a workaholic. He’s happy with his life, but then his mother decides to buy him tickets for a Singles Cruise. Appalled that his family thinks he can’t handle his own love life, he steps aboard the ship determined to have a terrible time.That is, of course, until a persistent brunet keeps offering him drinks.The strangers to enemies to friends to pining to lovers fic where Louis is cynical, Harry is charming, and they have seven days to get their shit together. (14k)

- i can be the motor (you’ll be the gasoline) : Harry is a British pop star living in LA. While trying to escape his reality of publicity stunts and record sales, his Harley breaks down. Stranded in the mountains, Harry has no choice but to call for help. And, somehow, a fit tow truck driver with the ocean in his eyes might end up fixing more than just Harry’s bike. (8k)

- It’s Never Enough : “Yeah? What else?” Harry asks anyways. Louis doesn’t know he’s a history professor and Harry doesn’t want to tell him because he doesn’t want to, like, offend him or embarrass him or something. He really, really likes the sound of Louis’ voice and doesn’t want him to stop talking. Ever. “The first attack was led by the Catholics.” Right. “And they just, like, stormed Jerusalem and took over.” Mostly wrong, but Harry just lets him talk, lets him explain (more like make up) everything in the section. (Basically; Harry is a history professor who fancies Louis, the fit bloke that works at his favorite museum. Louis doesn’t know anything about history and he definitely doesn’t know Harry’s a professor. Featuring an awful blind date, some inappropriate grinding in Ancient Rome, and a handful of mishaps.) (12k)

- hear your voice, in the backseat of my car : Louis gracelessly dropped the back of his seat so he could slide himself into the backseat, the fit tight and cramped and almost too warm.  He was unbuttoning his pants when he paused for a moment and took in the sight before him. “Christ.  Look at you.”  Louis stopped and just took in what he was seeing.  He was speechless and a little overwhelmed but very, very ready to see what would happen next.  Louis drives a cab.   Harry needs a ride. (8k)

- Our blood is boiling : “I can’t believe you’re making me this angry when it’s almost midnight and I’m not even drunk. You know what? I could take you down right here, right now—”“You’re red.” Harry interrupts, his lips curving up into a smug grin. “Am I making you red?”Louis purses his lips and absentmindedly brings a hand up to feel his cheek. It’s definitely warm. God, how can he even come back from this? [Louis meets indie singer Harry Styles, otherwise known as the bane of his existence, at a pub.] (6.5k)

- Fire and Ice : Harry really wants to come at the same time as Louis. Or, four times they misfire and the one time they get it right. (10k)

- Like You Hate Me : “You have poor taste for someone with the last name Styles,” he says, turning to show the back of his pants to Harry—the pants Harry had just stitched his name across last night to keep this type of thing from happening again.Of course, he’s accomplished nothing but indirectly making himself pop a stiffy over Louis fucking Tomlinson. (6.5k)

- I Built This Bed For Two (I Built This Bed For Me and You): Harry and Louis broke up after uni and haven’t seen each other since—until they’re roped into doing a Buzzfeed video together. Featuring awkward cuddling and a reunion that just needed a kick in the arse, gleefully provided by Niall. (10k)

- it’s hard to look right at you, baby: Coffee Shop AU where Louis is going through a dry spell, Zayn wants to be a good friend and help Louis find someone, and Harry ends up finding him instead.[or the one where louis is ‘hella fucking gay and desperately single’ and harry wants to change that last part.] (14k)

- Take Me To Your Heart  : Harry blinked at him for a second, and shit, they made eye contact. “Never gonna give, never gonna give…” the man sang, pointing at Harry to sing the next line. “Come on, curly!” Harry wasn’t sure whether or not to indulge him. He just wanted to go back to sleep, but he knew from experience that sometimes, ignoring lively drunks did not make the problem go away. “Give you up.” Harry replied, before laying his head back against the window and closing his eyes. “Yeah!” The man cried, and to Harry’s despair he sat down next to him. “Had a good night?” “I’ve been working.” Harry mumbled, eyes still closed. “Oh. I’ve got a few days off at the moment, so just been out with my mates. I’m Louis, by the way.” — London Night Bus AU where all Harry wants to do is sleep, but he has a drunk man singing at him. (6k)

- Taste of a Poison Paradise : Louis notices Harry’s mouth right away. (10k)

- Forget Your Ex :  He just had to get right back on the horse, that’s what Harry kept telling himself. It was what Nick had told him he should do too, because after all, wasn’t that the way to get over someone; to get under someone else? Sayings like that had to exist for a reason… When Harry’s boyfriend of two years leaves him for someone else, it’s fair to say he’s rather a bit upset, but his friends have a solution for him. Nick and Niall are hosting a start of term house party at their flat, having invited everyone they know from uni. Who knows, with a bit of luck Harry can find a rebound shag and finally forget his ex… (9k)

- I know that it’s complicated, but I’m a loser in love so baby : Harry is smart, but when he talks he sounds like a blithering idiot, so he stays in the back and bakes cakes. Louis is bubbly and wonderful, he is eccentric and sees past Harry’s speech impediment. And when they are in bed Harry surprises both of them with his dirty talk. Woo! (14k)

- once like a spark : Louis is a bartender, and Harry is just his type.  "Can I get you anything else?“ Louis asks and shimmies his hips along to the beat of the music. Zayn is giving him a look from the other end of the bar, frowning slightly at the line of people waiting to get a drink. Louis rolls his eyes and shrugs and turns his attention back to the boy, who ruffles his fringe and gives Louis a little lopsided grin. (7k)

- as deep as the sky: A passed-out omega on the bathroom floor isn’t exactly what Harry had in mind when he thought about taking a cute boy home. The idea of leaving Louis there, vulnerable and unresponsive, weighs guiltily at Harry’s conscience. Turns out it’s the best decision he’ll ever make. (12k)

- Unraveling : Harry sat there with his head in his hands trying to figure out why he knew these types of things. He thought over the past few weeks, how he’d just known at certain times what Louis had been thinking or feeling, needing or wanting and it didn’t make sense to him. Until he had the wild thought, “Can I read Louis’s mind?” (10k)

- Rated R       : Louis gifts Harry with a surprise sex tape, and it accidentally makes its way into Harry’s family Christmas party. Ridiculousness ensues. (7k)

- Worlds Away: prompt:  astronaut au fic where Louis is staying on the international space station and Harry is on earth working ground control and he and Louis have really quiet late night chats after most of the workers are gone and get to know each other in the biggest long distance relationship u could ever have…then eventually Louis comes back to earth and they have a beautiful meeting (7k)

- Talk Dirty When You Talk To Me  : After a night out with Stan, Louis gets a dirty text message from a unknown number. Thinking its his best friend he replies. It turns out to be a boy named Harry. An experience Louis’ never had before happens after a heated discussion with said boy. (8k)

- if i had the chance, the things i would do to you : Niall sighs. He leans forward, pushing his mug of tea carefully to the side, before bracing his elbows on the table, chin in his hands. It makes him look like some sort of bottle-blonde cherub. “You have quite the fanbase, Harry. I’m not denying that. And you’ve done a good job of popping out every once in a while in the past two years, just to make sure you’re still talked about. But that’s all you’ve done, and I’m not satisfied. I want more.” He blinks at Harry. “Don’t you want more?”(Or: AU where Harry and Louis compete in the Lip Sync Battle) (15k)

- This Road Leads Where Your Heart Is : Alright, so Louis has a bit of a type is the thing.  And as fit as his supermodel flatmate (Harry) may be, he isn’t what Louis is looking for in a potential partner.  That’s all.  He’s not Louis’ type, with his miles of lanky limbs and his bright, boyish eyes.  His impossibly tight, little body and infectious laughter are not what Louis wants.  They’re not.  Really. (14k)

- zipping across the stars : One Direction consists of five people; Louis, Zayn, Niall, Liam, and Gemma. When the band preforms at Wembley Stadium the boys are introduced to Gemma’s younger brother Harry.Louis wishes he had known that before he threw himself at the boy for six hours but he can’t stop now can he? (10k)

- Rather this than live without you : Harry decides to give it all up. Louis refuses to be left behind. (11k)

Update (last update on April 4th)

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