Game of Thrones: An Angry Recap
Season 7 Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Outside of King’s Landing:
As Dany’s troops are positioning themselves all around King’s Landing, Bronn and Jaime have a deep and meaningful discussion about the construct of masculinity between the conflicting priorities of cocks and what-even-is-the-point-of-not-having-a-cock. Oh, the subtle socio-anthropological nuances of Game of Thrones, more refined each episode.
But back to Dany’s troops! The Unsullied, motionless as ever, stand still as an army of Dothraki rides through their ranks making… scary noises? Where did they pick those up? I’m pretty sure the Dothraki were not yodeling like that in season 1. But, whatever, who cares about continuity? Most characters have been replaced by a caricature of themselves this season, so why not make the Dothraki more foreign and more different? Apparently it’s supposed to make for some good TV instead of, you know, raising a lot of eyebrows and bordering offensiveness.
The real Team Dany, meanwhile, sails into King’s Landing, and we find out that Jon is completely healed! Based on the established timelines, it took him about 10 minutes to heal and put his cothes back on, as this is approximately the time it takes to sail from the North to King’s Landing. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
Aaaaaaaaaand our sexist joke counter immediately goes DING! as Tyrion mentions the far superior King’s Landing brothels. I mean… sure. The best brothel in show!universe was undoubtedly Littlefinger’s fine establishment, which is not operating any more, so… someone else must have taken over? And how would Tyrion even know? Has he been to all the brothels? (Okay, he probably has.) Based on the show’s characterization, I’d say the best brothels are in Dorne, but… who cares. Maybe D&D are contractually obligated to mention sex all the time. Or they probably just think it’s worthy of all the Emmys, which, sadly, seems to be the case. Ugh.