and as dead as my motivation

this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion.  i’ve divided it up into two categories  ( light  &  dark )  based on the themes.  some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions.  please be cautious before continuing on!!

L I G H T

‘  at night i dream of you.  ’
‘  don’t give up yet.  you still have time to fix things.  ’
‘  falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack.  ’
‘  i am still so weak when it comes to you.  ’
‘  i can’t believe i let myself let you down.  ’
‘  i don’t care where we go when we die,  as long as i’m with you.  ’
‘  i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late.  ’
‘  i feel so warm  &  safe when you talk to me.  maybe i could love you if you’d let me.  ’
‘  i finally let the right people in  &  i have never felt so loved.  ’
‘  i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone.  ’
‘  i lived in your permafrost for twenty years  &  then you looked at me  &  i felt the warmth of spring.  ’
‘  i once wished you’d leave me alone,  but i take it back.  ’
‘  i want to be able to love someone else,  but you stretch your arms  &  spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else.  ’
‘  i want to believe that we got it right this time.  ’
‘  i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely.  ’
‘  i would travel across the world to be by your side,  because as long as you are with me,  anywhere is a perfect place to me.  ’
‘  it took me awhile to realize it myself,  but you are not what other people say you are.  ’
‘  it’s not that i really need you,  but life would be pretty boring without you around.  there’s no one i would rather be with.  ’
‘  i’d like to stay like this for awhile.  ’
‘  life  &  death don’t have to be so boring,  let’s make both an adventure.  ’
‘  life imitates art,  they say.  i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke.  ’
‘  live your life so that when you die,  souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales.  ’
‘  make your exes jealous  &  your past self proud.  ’
‘  maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on.  ’
‘  never get caught falling harder.  they’ll never let you back up.  ’
‘  please don’t go.  ’
‘  some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it  &  succumb.  ’
‘  sometimes,  you’ll find it hard to keep going,  but you always will.  ’
‘  the desire i feel for you is that same itching,  insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction.  ’
‘  the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad.  ’
‘  there is absolutely nothing  &  no one who can stop me.  ’
‘  there is no route of losing you that is without pain.  ’
‘  there’s still room for adventure  &  there is no one i’d rather have by my side.  ’
‘  things didn’t turn out the way i planned,  but i’m alright with that.  ’
‘  we could be really incredible together,  you know?  ’
‘  you are beautiful  &  vibrant  &  confident.  you are light  &  laughter incarnate  &  every fiber of your being screams freedom  &  joy.  when i am with you,  i am truly happy.  ’
‘  you are starlight incarnate,  from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think.  blessed are any to be loved by you.  ’
‘  you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you.  ’
‘  you call me yours  &  i have no idea what that even means to you.  ’
‘  you remind me of bubblegum  &  sweets;  soft  &  pink  &  warm.  you are strong in the gentlest way.  you are so stubbornly kind.  i wish i could be like that.  ’
‘  you still visit me while i sleep sometimes.  your fingers trace my spine  &  i listen to you breathe.  please stop haunting me.  ’
‘  ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you.  ’

D A R K

‘  a thousand empty bottles  &  fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day.  ’
‘  everyone else has moved on,  but i am still here.  ’
‘  everything about you screams danger.  ’
‘  everything is worthless to you  &  you,  in turn,  became worthless.  ’
‘  for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress.  ’
‘  freedom is really hard to get used to.  ’
‘  how could you do this to me?  how fucking could you?  ’
‘  i am becoming everything we always dreamed of  &  i am leaving you behind.  ’
‘  i buried you so well that you might as well have died.  ’
‘  i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead  &  not the monster you became.  ’
‘  i can’t look at you.  not now,  not ever.  ’
‘  i don’t ask how you’ve been.  what’s the point?  you’d lie anyways.  ’
‘  i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest.  ’
‘  i haunted this house first.  there is no room for you here.  ’
‘  i have a right to be upset.  i loved them too, you know.  ’
‘  i just want it to end.  i want it to all go away.  i want to go away.  ’
‘  i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,  but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous.  ’
‘  i saw your face today  &  didn’t feel anything.  i am free.  ’
‘  i tried to save you,  but you didn’t want to be saved.  you just wanted someone to suffer with you.  ’
‘  it’s almost as if you were never here.  ’
‘  it’s unhealthy to do these things,  you tell me.  you say it’s time to stop smoking,  time to stop gambling,  &  dammit,  i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you.  i sure hope you’re right,  darling.  ’
‘  i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind  ’
‘  i’m not really scared to die.  i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone.  ’
‘  i’m not the person you left behind anymore.  there’s no one here to miss.  ’
‘  i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive.  ’
‘  i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals  &  ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you.  ’
‘  i’ve never been completely satisfied.  i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death.  ’
‘  no motive other than pleasure,  my dear.  ’
‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way,  it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’
‘  our dreams  &  promises decay along with you.  ’
‘  the leaves change,  but nothing else does.  ’
‘  the only difference between avoiding  &  leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you.  ’
‘  there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you.  ’
‘  there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage.  ’
‘  things aren’t going as i hoped.  maybe if i die,  i can start over again?  better luck next time.  ’
‘  this is not something to be proud of.  this is a tragedy.  ’
‘  trying to get rid of me?  oh honey,  you’ll have to try much harder than that.  ’
‘  trying to get under my skin?  you’re nothing more than a pesky itch.  ’
‘  unlike you,  i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger.  ’
‘  weeping is for gods  &  martyrs,  we cannot afford such luxuries.  ’
‘  would you even miss me?  ’
‘  you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart.  ’
‘  you complain nonstop about being unloved  &  alone,  i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true.  ’
‘  you don’t know what it’s like.  ’
‘  you made this so fucking easy for me.  ’
‘  you should see me as a threat.  i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you.  i am a walking threat.  ’
‘  you think i’m already gone,  but i’m still fighting.  ’
‘  you think i’m dead,  but i’m just dying.  ’
‘  you were never an addiction,  you were a fucking disease.  ’
‘  you wouldn’t dare cross me.  i am god  &  you are the soil beneath my feet.  ’
‘  your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity.  ’
‘  your fingers are so cold  &  bruised,  but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference.  ’
‘  your hair is tied in a noose  &  your fingernails are razor blades,  your lips are poison  &  i will gratefully kiss them.  ’
‘  your hatred has a body count  &  we will not forget.  ’
‘  your loss,  not mine.  ’
‘  you’re a sick fuck.  you know that?  ’
‘  you’re not gentle with me  &  i would never ask you to be.  ’
‘  you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore,  it’s a pit.   ’


my fav kind of otp is when person A is perched on person B’s lap and complaining again about their test since they were one point away from 100 while person B hums and plays with person A’s hair with dead eyes since person B got a score way below average again so they’re staying tight-lipped about it

but person A finds out anyway and ends up tutoring person B plus they offer kisses for every question person B gets right because motivation is key but also a huge huge distraction

24/4/16 // Back to my university library after two weeks at home! It’s so nice studying without being surrounded by screaming children. I’ve finished both of my coursework essays (8000 words… I am dead) so I’m now onto revision for my exams!! This module was taught SO badly so I’m basically teaching myself everything, yay…

APH France more like actual living perfection.))

It’s strange but in a weird way, I miss my darkness… you know what I mean, the indifferent sadness that you resign yourself to when you’re completely and totally hopeless, when you no longer see a reason to try anymore so you kinda just shuffle along day after day, when nothing really matters because you don’t plan on living for much longer. Things that once ate away at you no long strike fear or anxiety into your heart cause “once I’m dead none of it’ll matter.” I’m told it’s fucked up to say because “Some people are dying to feel any other way! HOW DARE YOU WANT THAT BACK!!” Look at it from my point of view: when I didn’t have any purpose or motivation to exist, there was no stress about work, or school, or anything else; every problem just slipped away with my will to live. I could simply sink down into the darkness and embrace the silence. It’s different now that I’ve been “trying"again… It’s so much harder than before. It’s so fucking bright and loud!! but this time you’re not allowed to just walk away and cave in on yourself! You have to accept and acknowledge everything! And no matter how hard you try, you can no longer channel the familiar sanctuary that you’ve grown so accustomed to! You feel as though you don’t belong there, with the normal people, at all. After you’ve lived with the darkness for so long, can you ever truly return to the light? or will it always have those pieces of you, the ones that it took in the first place?
—  Thoughts I’ll never speak out loud.
(Sorry it’s so long, I’m awful at describing things so it takes me a while to do it)

There is value to be found in every single drawing. Sometimes it’s in technique, sometimes it’s in story, sometimes it’s in emotion… Sometimes in it’s in that one mistake that ruined everything and the things you learnt from it.

On social media, any one of those things can be recognised, or none of them can. Because art is subjective, and your audience may not measure value in the same way that you do.

On tumblr in particular, there is a huge focus on content that is relatable. People enjoy media that speaks to them and to the things that they are interested in. It’s why fandoms exist and why fanworks are so popular.

The harsh truth is that no one can be forced to consume media that they aren’t interested in. If people can’t find reason to support a creator, namely because their content doesn’t speak to them, they are completely within their right -no matter how much love the artist has poured into their work (or how great it would be if we did all support each other).

Since creator and consumer don’t owe each other anything right off the bat, it’’s important to stop relying on that relationship when it comes to making art. Of course, the creator could always adapt their content to fit their audience, but that’s an attitude that could become quite unhealthy.

So instead, you should work towards realising that what you’re creating is valuable and precious and unique -no matter how much attention it did or didn’t get. 

I don’t care if you started yesterday, if you think your art is bad, if your last post got two likes and the only reblog was from yourself  -the very act of creating is so inherently beautiful and you should be proud of yourself. You don’t need validation or permission to keep drawing. But if you really want it, then know that I’m proud of you, that your grind motivates me to work, and that you have my and everyone else’s blessing to go and create the things that only you can.

Tricks (Part 1)

Request: Hello! How are you? Could I request a Joker x Reader where the he and his friends are arguing about who the most attractive/best with the ladies is and joker ends up betting he can seduce the reader. They fall in love but then reader finds out it was all a bet. Sort of a ‘10 things I hate about you’ scenario haha Thanks lovie

A/N: I COMPLETELY fell in love with this idea this is cute AS FUCK. Part 1 of ??

Pairing: Joker x reader 

Summary: Joker makes a bet he can seduce the reader but finds out he’s met his match. 

Warnings: Sexual implications? Probably swearing? Joker stuff. 

Originally posted by grysamobojcow

Keep reading

☣VILLAIN meme☣

Response to the HERO meme here.

  • “You didn’t think it would be that easy, did you?”
  • “Oh, little bug caught in my web… you really made this too easy.”
  • “Everyone is so noble in the beginning, but they learn and they lose.”
  • “Hope is a fool’s opiate.”
  • “I’ve come this far, and I certainly won’t let a little nothing like you get in my way now!”
  • “You think it’s so easy judging me. You know nothing of the real world. I am only acting on instinct.”
  • “The meek shall inherit nothing, they are meek for a reason.”
  • “Destruction is a part of the natural order of things, yet everyone fights it. I plan on making it easy on you all.”
  • “I deserve all the praise and power, and you will all suffer for it!”
  • “No one gets in my way and survives.”
  • “The fool that is stupid enough to betray me won’t live to do it again.”
  • “The law didn’t include me when it was made, so it doesn’t apply to me now.”
  • “It’s all their fault for falling for the lie. They have only to blame themselves!”
  • “I never loved you… you pretended to hear what you wanted, and created your own fantasy. I used you, and you willingly accepted.”
  • “Join me, and you will have everything you possibly could want. Stand against me, and you’ll regret it.”
  • “You lost it all!”
  • “No sad story made me this way, I am just stronger, smarter, and deserving. Others are little bugs beneath my heel.”
  • “Give me everything I ask for, and MORE!”
  • “I gave you everything, and this is how you repay me?!”
  • “I will rise above, and you will die for what you did to me!”
  • “You think your little pack of boyscouts can intimidate me? Come at me!”
  • “I’m feeling generous today. You get the first shot. After that, start running.”
  • “You people are all COWARDS! You were just BEGGING for me to do this.”
  • “Where’s your savior now?”
  • “Blood is thicker than water, but kerosene is the answer.”
  • “I killed your _____ and now I’m going to kill you.”
  • “Oh, sweetling. Your mother/father never loved you. That’s why you turned to me.”
  • “You’re my possession, and I don’t want other people touching MY things!”
  • “Money won’t save you. Don’t insult me. I want your soul.”
  • “Beg for me. Beg for your life. Beg for your family’s life… “
  • “Very good try. But let’s see them try and stop this—”
  • “Power belongs to those that take it, but that’s the easy part. KEEPING it takes blood and death, paid in buckets.”
  • “He/She is dead. I am the leader now. Swear fealty or you will join them.”
  • “Go and criticize me, you know you wish you had my power. But you can’t have it, and it KILLS you. Rather… I will.”
  • “All those that don’t bow to me will be put in chains!”
  • “Kill them all! Burn everything to the ground! Leave NOTHING behind!”
  • “I don’t want power or money. I just want to destroy things. Just because.”
  • “I don’t have to explain my motives to you. You wouldn’t understand anyway.”

wary….its an all around good idea just to leave her alone…

(back from dead!; istg i draw more than just jasper in sweatpants, lmao, but bonus doodle:

)

HRT
Day #36
06/05/2017

Really feeling myself today….
George & I actually started a new routine.
We woke up together at 4:30 am, George did some crunches and push ups, I shaved and put just a touch of make up on (Mascara & lip gloss) We decided that even though we have to get up early, its worth taking the time to do the things you need to do to feel good, look good and be healthy. We also go to bed at like 9 pm so we do actually sleep, hahaha.

My boobies hurt like omg, wow.
I can not stop hitting them, and aparenlty I have a habbit of holding things under my arm up against my chest, well… I keep squeezing my bood and huuuuurrrttttssss. Okay ya’ll know my boobs hurt by now.

It is gradual, but each day I am feeling more and more motivated. I have noiced subtle changes in my skin, but also my hair growth is getting slower (yes, omg, yes!) so shaving is becoming less of a curse. The exfoliation is REAL! It is the best feeling though, showering and scrubbing all the dead skin away, and when you get out, underneath was this soft glowing skin… bliss!

Well that is it for today! I started off slow with these HRT selfies due to kidney stones 2017, but I am gradually working it more and more into my daily routine!

Xoxo

listening to podcasts is my favorite thing to do. I listen to a lot of podcasts that range from education, drama, to horror. I listen to them when I’m on the bus ride home, cleaning, or doing homework. since I love podcasts, I decided that I would share some of them with you guys today. without further ado…

1. ALICE ISN’T DEAD

Alice Isn’t Dead is a fictional series that follows a truck driver who’s searching for her wife across America. During her search, she encounters things that aren’t so human, a huge conspiracy, and mysterious towns. 

2. LIMETOWN

Limetown is a podcast that focuses on the disappearance of over three hundred men, women, and children from a small town in Tennessee over ten years ago. The podcast follows a reporter named Lia Haddock who’s inquisitive nature leads her to find the answer to this question: “What happened to the people of Limetown?”

3. SPINES

Spines is the story of a girl named Wren who wakes up covered in blood, surrounded by the remains of a strange cult ritual,and suffering from meory loss. 

4. THE BRIGHT SESSIONS

The Bright Sessions is a podcast that focuses on therapy sessions for atypicals. 

5. WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE

Welcome to Night Vale is a podcast told through a radio show thaat gives community updates for the small desert town of Night Vale. It has everything you would ever need: local weather, news, announcements from the Sherrif’s Secret Police, warnings to stay away from the dog park (because there’s no humans allowed, duh), angels, dark hodded figures with unknown powers, mysterious lights in the sky and cultural events.

6. ON BEING with KRISTA TIPPETT

On Being is a podcast that asks the big questions of meaning to scientists, artists, teachers, etc.

7. MARSCORP

MarsCorp is podcast about Station Supervisor E.L. Hob’s first year at MarsCorp. MarsCorp is a colony established on Mars in 2070.

8. WITHIN THE WIRES

Within the Wires is a podcast set in an alternate reality. This podcast tells stories under the persona of instructional audio programs that guide the listener through different audio experiences that later reveal a more personal story.

from the many podcasts I listen to, these are my top 8 at the moment. check them out (i need someone to fangirl too) and let me know what you think. I wouldn’t mind talking to someone about this. like always, if you have any questions or comments, let me know! stay tuned for the next post.

8.13.17