Mission: Impossible Probably Doesn’t Have This Much Gay Panic
aka that ridiculous super tropey cliched jeremwood gta fic i started ages ago and have now finished as a valentine’s gift for @ryanthepowerbottomguy
rating: m for nonspecific dick mention
content warning for bad humor, deliberately vague heist details, and ryan “you can’t catch me gay thoughts” haywood
“It just needs another minute.”
“We don’t have a minute,” Ryan says. He presses an ear against the door and shuts his eyes, tense, waiting, mapping out a dozen escape routes in his head. “We have maybe thirty seconds. Does that work?”
“Look, the thing—it says it needs fifty-three seconds, okay, do you want me to argue with the computer?”
“Well, yeah, that’s what Gavin does!”
“He—okay, wait, no? He definitely doesn’t just argue with the computer, what the hell, what exactly do you think Gavin does when he’s—” Jeremy cuts himself off, goes still and quiet when heavy footsteps stop in front of the door.
“Alright,” Ryan murmurs, shifting to move into a better position to intercept the guy when he comes through the door. “I’ll try to take him down quietly and maybe we won’t, uh, no, what are you doing,” he says, bewildered, when Jeremy vaults himself over the desk neatly and starts moving in Ryan’s direction.
“I saw this in a movie once,” Jeremy says seriously, and then he’s grabbing Ryan by the lapels of his ill-fitting suit and hauling him down to kiss him.
Fully. On the mouth. With tongue. It’s a little dirty.
Ryan wants to say he plays it cool.