and an alien baby

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No matter how long I live, no matter how many movies they make, nothing will ever quite top this moment when an alien baby bursts out of John Hurt’s stomach and starts singing Hello My Baby

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the greatest reality soap series of all time continues as our sim alien baby becomes a real boy 👽⁉️👶

Humans Are Weird (Pregnancy and Babies)

“Humans are weird” post! What if all aliens actually hatch from eggs and our planet is the only one in the universe that has mammals on it. For an alien, the shell of their egg is a bit like their birth certificate because it’s the proof that they were born, so it’s extremely important for them. To study the development of certain species, they sometimes have to ask some specimen of that species to show them their shell. But then, they visit Earth and meet humans…

Alien: Good morning Human-Nate. I am Xers, an eggshell specialist. In order to study your species development, I need you to show me the shell of the egg that you hatched from. Don’t worry, I am a professional. I can guarantee that you will have it back in the same state as it was when you entrusted it to me.
Human: hummmm, I’m sorry but I don’t have any eggshell to show you…..
Alien: Could it be that you lost it? If so, please excuse me for my previous request. I am sorry if you thought that it was a rude of me.
Human: Don’t apologize, it’s fine! *nervous hand gesture* I didn’t lose it or anything. It’s just that I never had one in the first place. Humans do not hatch from eggs.
Alien: W-what? They don’t?! Then how?
Human: Well, to put it short, the baby grows inside of the mother’s uterus for 9 months and then, when they are ready, they just…come out…by another part of the the mother’s reproductive system.
Alien: Directly from the uterus? With no shell or protection?! Baby humans actually SURVIVE this?!
Human: Yup, and I am the living proof! *laughs*
Alien: …..what the hell is wrong with your species.

To learn more about what humans call “pregnancy”, Xers went to see a pregnant woman and asked her questions about the singular gestation process of “mammals”. After a few minutes, the woman chuckled softly and put a hand on her round belly.

Alien: *worried* Human-Kate, are you alright?
Human: It’s nothing. I just felt a small kick from her. *chuckles*
Alien:….Did your growing organism just ATTACK YOU?!

The signs as excellent horror films

Aries: Alien (1979)

Taurus: The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Gemini: The Shining (1980)

Cancer: It Follows (2015)

Leo: Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

Virgo: The Exorcist (1974)

Libra: Goodnight Mommy (Ich seh, Ich seh) (2014)

Scorpio: The Babadook (2014)

Sagittarius: Black Swan (2010)

Capricorn: Les Diaboliques (1955)

Aquarius: The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Pisces: Misery (1990)