and also why i make myself suffer


             Why does fate make us suffer? There’s a curse between us. Between me and you

Just Breathe [Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader]

Summary: Reader has an anxiety attack and Lin is there to comfort her.

Word Count: 517

Warnings: anxiety tw (?)

A/N: this is a short one, something i needed to hear/read from someone, actually this is a really personal fic that felt necessary for myself. i know many of you also suffer from anxiety and writing this made me feel better, even though it was only for a few minutes; i hope it makes you feel a bit better too. Love y’all, guys.

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The air seemed non-existant. The tears started rolling down your face, and you didn’t know why… You weren’t exactly surprised though. You had anxiety since you were a teenager, but it has improved so much, specially since you started dating Lin.

You had a few nights here and there, where the attack would come out of nowhere. Combined with your messed up sleep patterns, anxiety could be a real bitch, but this was the first time it was happening with Lin sleeping right next to you.

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“I enjoy self pity. It gives me great delight to pity myself. I am a realist, a strict one. I never, ever, ever lie to myself in order to make myself feel better or more comfortable. I think this may be my best, strongest trait. I also, like many other people, find it pleasurable to be sad. I “get off” on it. I wonder why so many people enjoy being sad. I think it may be that they can be sad while remaining comfortable. So they can experience sadness without hardship, and therefore can feel a strong emotion, that much of the time is easier to induce than happiness, without suffering………….. any real injury from it.

Journal of Charleston church shooter Dylann Roof

I can’t believe I’m posting. I never thought I’d have the confidence. I feel sick with nerves but if I can help just one lady feel better it is worth it. This does not mean I have no respect for myself.

Day to day I see girls with wonderful bodies posing in next to nothing, and see mums with wonderful bodies. I find myself feeling so low, wondering ‘why can’t my body look like that?’

Day to day I see mums looking beautiful and wonder how on earth they did it. But I realise that we don’t see mums like me because so many of them feel upset about their bodies.

I bought a new top today and looking in the mirror trying it on I didn’t feel upset, or embarrassed. I felt beautiful. This is a big thing for me as I also suffer with suspected body dysmorphia… And depression which generally makes you feel shit about yourself. So I had to take a picture. I thought my legs looked beautiful, my thighs… And then for once, my stomach. The stomach which was home to my beautiful daughter for nine months. The stomach which made her and conceived her. And the stomach which houses my iron liver, after all I’ve put it through.

Why am I posting this? Because girls, it has took me a long time to get to a point where I felt beautiful. It actually gave me tears in my eyes because after being teared down all my life, bullied about my mental condition, my looks, being hurt by men, I never thought I’d look in the mirror and think 'actually you aren’t half bad at all!’

All women are built in different shapes and sizes. Our bodies go through alsorts day in day out. We are all beautiful no matter how many scars we have, how many stories our body shows. Love your body, you only get one. You are a warrior, and if I can love myself so can you.

I can finally say I am a 'yummy mummy’ and I am proud.

anonymous asked:

me: don't make excuses for [kintype]'s actions! it doesn't matter why he (i) did it, it was still wrong! // also me: ok guys i know i was a shitty person but have u considered,,, i needed to fill myself with a false sense of power to recover from the abuse i suffered as a child,,,, listen to That, fuckos,,,, i wasn't ALL bad,,,,

ssmirking  asked:

when can writers of shows be trusted with anything honestly i just KNOW they're gonna make him suffer more and why can't he just live happy with those damn doe eyes looking at mike like that im not crying you're crying

i knowww, i’m trying to prepare myself for the inevitable Suffering but it’s going to be rough.

and lkjfksdfs don’t get me started about his adorable, soft eyes, I’LL CRY!!! and when he’s looking at mike….”it was a seven”…..k i l l  m e. i knew i was doomed to ship it from the start tbh

Okay so, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today and after like 20 minutes I didn’t know what to talk about anymore, so I just started telling him about the Phantom blog - he knew some random things about Ace Attorney in general already because of course I talked about it before.

And he listened and seemed pretty interested actually (“Oh, I’d like to analyze them”, lmao), asked a few questions and then I told him about my and Luca’s whole personal canon background (“Oh no, poor Niu, why would you come up with someone so likeable and then make them suffer like that?” - “You’ve known me for 5 years; I love hating myself.”) Also: “It sounds like your Phantom [shhh, no, it’s Simon’s] desperately needs therapy, to be honest.” xD

In any case, he says they need therapy and probably medical treatment and also that Jhon belongs into prison. (He also called this blog a coping mechanism, pfft xD Shhh he’s probably right.)

… Also I can’t even remember why I wanted to share this on here, but I just think it’s great that he’s willing to listen to me rambling about fictional characters and then proceed to analyze them together with me for half an hour.

The lapeep character designs are honestly the cutest thing and I just couldn’t help myself aha. This took me about three hours to do in total, not bad considering this is only my 4th finished digital drawing! I was a bit rushed at the end (it’s almost 3 in the morning here whoops) I also recorded the drawing process so maybe I’ll post the process video later :)

I do not own the lapeep AU, the AU belongs to the amazing and talented admins behind the blog @askbirdkeeperperi