and also football

The signs as WTNV proverbs

Aries: “There’s a difference between your, you’re, and yarn. Yarn isn’t even pronounced the same way. It’s a completely different word.”

Taurus: “Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say your mother’s in the hospital? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Listen, I’ll drive you over there. We’ll leave right now. Grab a coat, it’s a little cold out. I’m so sorry.”

Cancer: “You won’t sleep when you’re dead, either.”

Leo: “At your smallest components, you are indistinguishable from a forest fire.”

Virgo: “You can’t get blood from a turnip. Listen you need some blood? I can totally get you some blood. Set that turnip down and follow me to the blood. There’s a lot of blood.”

Sagittarius: “Ignore all the haters telling you that everything isn’t a sandwich. Everything is a sandwich.”

Aquarius: “Feeling lost? Like you have no goal in life? Like you’re covered in dirt and wet leaves? Like you’re an earthworm? Are you an earthworm? Kinda sounds like you’re an earthworm, actually.“

Capricorn: “Soccer is also commonly known as football, Canadian baseball, American football, violent jogging, and World War II.”

Gemini: “Everything that happens, happens for a reason. Except ostriches. What the hell, man?

Libra:  “Please keep all arms and legs inside the car at all times. Also, you are under arrest. Why is your car full of limbs? Whose are these?”

Pisces:  “Listen, I’m not a hero. The real heroes are the people that point out to us when protesters have smart phones, thus invalidating all concerns.”

Scorpio: “Thank you for your interest in a life free of pain. We are not accepting applications at this time. Please try again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again…”

loving a football team is so weird. you dedicate your fucking life to a group of people you will never meet. they lose, you are devastated. they win, you are elated. you have absolutely no influence on what happens, but still they are so important to you. you love a football team and it changes your life and all just because 11 players manage to score more goals than the other 11 players

4

Sebastian Stan playing table football in The Covenant

Lily is beyond ecstatic Harry brought someone with good taste home.
.
For the sweetest anon that requested this 💕

MBTI types as Night Vale proverbs

istj: “There’s a difference between your, you’re, and yarn. Yarn isn’t even pronounced the same way. It’s a completely different word.”

isfj: “Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say your mother’s in the hospital? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Listen, I’ll drive you over there. We’ll leave right now. Grab a coat, it’s a little cold out. I’m so sorry.”

infj: “You won’t sleep when you’re dead, either.”

intj: “At your smallest components, you are indistinguishable from a forest fire.”

istp: “You can’t get blood from a turnip. Listen you need some blood? I can totally get you some blood. Set that turnip down and follow me to the blood. There’s a lot of blood.”

isfp: “Ignore all the haters telling you that everything isn’t a sandwich. Everything is a sandwich.”

infp: "Feeling lost? Like you have no goal in life? Like you’re covered in dirt and wet leaves? Like you’re an earthworm? Are you an earthworm? Kinda sounds like you’re an earthworm, actually.“

intp: "Soccer is also commonly known as football, Canadian baseball, American football, violent jogging, and World War II.”

estp: “You can lead a horse to water, and you can lead a horse into water, and you can swim around with the horse and have fun.”

esfp: “On this day in history: mundanity, and terror, and food, and love, and trees.”

enfp: “If you love something, set it free. If it starts flying around and chirping, it was probably a bird.”

entp: “Everything that happens, happens for a reason. Except ostriches. What the hell, man?”

estj:  “Please keep all arms and legs inside the car at all times. Also, you are under arrest. Why is your car full of limbs? Whose are these?”

esfj:  “Listen, I’m not a hero. The real heroes are the people that point out to us when protesters have smart phones, thus invalidating all concerns.”

enfj: “Thank you for your interest in a life free of pain. We are not accepting applications at this time. Please try again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again…”

entj: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single command from a satellite-activated mind control chip.”

“Barcelona” by Ed Sheeran is about Viktor and Yuuri, without doubt

Well get up up on the dancefloor tonight

You and I we’re flying on an aeroplane tonight

Spin you around me again and again

Originally posted by the-red-emperor-and-the-shadow

For the football fandom: Name one (active) player you wish you could bring back to your favorite club 🤔

Dries Mertens meets Danilo, an amateur player who decided to come out to his teammates entrusting them with informations about him not everyone knew about.

“It’s positive that there are guys like you. And the more who come out the more it will be seen as positive.” ❤️
~
Happy Pride Month 🌈
Be proud of who you are, love who you love.

On Bitty and the Football Team:

Its his freshman year and Bitty is walking around campus on his Taddy Tour™ with John Johnson, Ollie, Wicks, and some other guys on the team that Bitty doesn’t know. They are coming to the end of the tour and are walking down the frat row where all the sports teams have their respective houses. They walk past the volleyball house and the soccer house with no problem, but things get louder once they reach the football house. 

There are a bunch of hulking men gathered on the front lawn tossing a ball back and fourth. One, with short black hair and a very broad chest catches the ball, turns to the group and shouts,

“Hey hockey jerkoffs! look out!” 

He throws the ball, and it cuts through the air with Wick’s head as its target. It would have hit him straight on the nose too, if Bitty hadn’t caught it, snatching it from air as easily as anything. 

“You better keep this! you clearly need the practice!” Bitty threw the ball back to him in a perfect spiral, and when the offending player caught it, he was knocked to the ground with the force of it. 

Everyone was gapping at the mountainous man on the ground. A different player with shaggy brown hair called out in disbelief, “You just took out the school’s tight end!”

Bitty shrugged, unbothered, “I hope he’s second string.” 

All of the guys on the Taddy Tour™ starting whooping at the chirp, and the group moved onward toward the Haus, leaving a pack of slack jawed football players in their wake. The shaggy haired one offered a hand to the man on the ground.

“You good Brandon?” He asked, hoisting the other player to his feet. 

“Yeah dude, nothing hurt but my pride.” Brandon rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly, “Who was that guy?” 

Shaggy hair shrugged, “One of the new Hockey recruits I guess.” 

Brandon smirked, “Hot.”