and all you can do is laugh

lando-was-here  asked:

Hey what's up my name is Lando. I'm an aspiring RnB artist from New York. I recently released a brand new original record titled "Selfish." I would love it if you'd pass through my page and give it a listen. The song plays automatically when you view my blog. All feedback is welcomed, & greatly appreciated. Also if you like what you hear be sure to hit the like button on my Facebook page. Doing so will help me greatly. Thank you for your time, & support. Hope to hear from you soon.

I can’t stop laughing help 

I read this attentively thinking it was an #onlyingotham submission

anonymous asked:

The "untouchable" stuff always makes me laugh as all that really means is that Taylor is busy doing other things - you know like in the preliminary stages of writing the incredibly successful Grammy-winning 1989, etc. KP can spend all the time hanging out with backup dancers because she isn't half the hard worker Taylor is & it's not like she was writing or running several businesses.

Also like, on the real, touring is HARD WORK. Taylor is LOVELY and kind and welcoming to her dancers at work. In order to take care of herself during tour, she’s realized that she needs to go home and sleep in her bed as much as possible, so she can get the rest she needs to keep going physically and emotionally. And like….there’s nothing wrong with that? I hate that people are insinuating that there’s something wrong with doing what you need for self-care? No one expects that I hang out with my coworkers 24/7 outside of the office? Why would they expect Taylor to do the same? 

Competitive Tom

Author Ladyoftheteaandblood

 

Alternative Tom and Conny play an online quiz. Fluff nonsense and adult toys.


“What are you doing?” He asked me, as I was rolling around on the sofa laughing.

“Are you looking at porn again on Tumblr?” 

“No I’m not” I said between fits of giggles, hiccoughs and tears, streaming down my face.

“I’m doing an online quiz” I told him desperately trying to control myself.

“Can I do it?” This was too good to be true 

“Of course dear”

He walked over to me to find my Facebook page open on a quiz entitled……wait for it “Dog toy or Sex Toy”

“Well that has to be easy” he said all cocky.

“You’d think so wouldn’t you? but I only  got 8 out of 15 right” his eyes lit up and that competitive streak came alive.

“I’m about to beat you”

The first few he did as I did, some correct some not and he scowled



“This is silly they should be nothing alike, Jesus can you imagine my Auntie turning up and the dog we haven’t got yet, playing with your faithful friend T.O.M.”

“The Orgasm Machine, would be a touch upset I think, and so would Auntie. By the way what kind of dog aren’t we getting and will Bentley our non-existent cat like him?”

“I will discuss that with you in bed at Snuggling time, now I want to finish the quiz” and he turned back to the computer screen.

The next two pictures came up.



“Oh easy Rover is hardly likely to play with anal toys, it’s the pink one” he confidently touched the button on screen.

It was the black one!

“What the fuck, what the hell do you do with that?”

“I tell you later” I replied with a winked

“Last one” Tom stated and up came these two.



“Well cute Duckie has to be the dog toy and rude carrot, well who would have thought it of a root vegetable?”

“You don’t read smut fictions much do you?” I said.

Rude carrot was the dog toy and cute innocent duckie had a very naughty secret. She was a three-speed massage toy and vibrator. We looked her up, just to make sure you understand that the quiz was correct

The product description said


Transform boring bath times into pleasure-packed playtime's with the new and improved I Rub My Duckie. As cute and discreet as its predecessor, the massages and vibrator now features a multi-speed motor to make time in the tub extra special.

Tom lost it at this point and EHEHEHEHEH till he cried.

Created to perfectly impersonate the classic rubber duck design, it’s near-impossible to unveil this vibrator’s sexy secret - that it doubles as a soothing 3 speed vibrator. Let the waterproof little fella float in your bath or sit by your bed with nothing more than those come-hither blue eyes to give away his true calling.

“Darling he takes after you he has big blue come-hither eyes, I wonder if he’s better in bed?” I laughed

Squeeze his back and relax as he slowly seduces you, massaging your tensions away with his 3 vibration intensities.

“Well all I need is a squeeze but not necessary my back”

Made from skin-safe rubber, this model is softer than the original for improved comfort. And once you’ve finished using it, clean up couldn’t be easier - a quick splosh in your bathwater should see it restored to its sunshine-yellow glory.


“And just like you he’s easily washable we should get one” I said.


When we had stopped laughing we decided we would get a cute three-speed Duckie just to see, and we added a few other items from the very interesting website to our online shopping basket.


Three days later, the doorbell went and a brown box arrived, with very colourful contents.

So I sent Tom this. Trust me it’s worth watching now you know his secret!


SORRY!

Pictures not mine I just played and if you want a little yellow duckie with the blue come hither eyes they can be found on LoveHoney.

@anovidelonghi @ancientfinnishgoddess @aggro-femme @abfoster1s @antyc67 @aliceada @archy3001 @bluegrasscontessa @booksandcatslover @damageditem @dorito82 @enchantedbyhiddles @echantedbytwh @eve1978 @feelmyroarrrr @frenchblondgirl @heathermc13 @izhunny @larouau12 @lolawashere @lostinspace33 @maevecurrywrites @marveloznerd @mrshiddelston @october-green @oneschrutebuck @ourladybinxthings @peskipixi @prplprincez @quoting-shakespeare-to-ducks @servent-alearika @siyoteodiara @sf0206 @the-haven-of-fiction @the-lady-mischief @tinaferraldo @tomhiddleston-kikibfairy @tomkurbikston @tomforachange @neither-blue-nor-green @nuggsmum @lordjohnandtom @kellarter @omninocte

2

cheer practice, windenburg academy 3:29pm

amira: z.. you okay? you’ve had resting bitch face all week.. i know you’re pissed about being grounded but like..

zia: i’m fine, don’t worry about it

amira: you’re my best friend?? i’m worried about it.. just talk to me, maybe i can help? your dad loves me and-

zia: i just thought it would be over by now. we have never stayed mad at each other for this long, it feels like its never going to end. all we do is yell at each other when we’re in the same room, it just fucking sucks. its like my house is a constant war zone.

amira: i’m sorry z, what about your mom?

zia: [laughs] she doesn’t give a fuck dude, she keeps saying that we have to work it out but we honestly can’t?? and indi doesn’t wanna get involved cus he doesn’t want to get grounded which i get it but… like he’s honestly gone insane. i feel like its going to be like this forever, cus i sure as hell am not giving in.

amira: i wish you could come stay at my place for the weekend… maybe we could talk to him? and- oh, theres indi. looks like he’s looking for you??

indigo: zia, come here we have to leave

zia: [rolls eyes] fucking great, bet i’m not even allowed at cheer practice anymore!!!! well let coach know that my dad is a fuckin prick… see you later

anonymous asked:

I often feel like I'm not fit for love. Well, not romantically. There's this boy I really like. He's sweet, funny, mature, and everything.I want considering ive never had a relationship in my 15 years of life. We talk and I laugh. I see him in the halls and I can't help but smile. But that's as far as it gets. Him trying to get close in situations where all I can do is act sarcastic because i can't do anything else. He's amazing but i don't feel like i can ever be enough for him.

aw don’t think that, if he likes you for who you are then thats great, and if not then move on. you’re still young, theres a ton of people out there you’re gonna meet and believe me, none of this is gonna matter in an years time honestly 

Okay so hear me out

I really really want to see Sana at a wedding. I want to see her dressed in a beautiful gown and absolutely slaying the hearts of everyone at the wedding. Can you imagine her dancing and doing traditional Moroccan dances, and pretty much just laughing with all of her family and friends?

So I kept thinking about this and then it came to me. We all know Jamilla is or was engaged to Sana’s brother(we don’t know who he is besides the fact that Sana mentioned him once). In Islam, couples often perform the Nikkah or Kitab, which is a ceremony that states a couple have become husband and wife.In some communities however, the Nikkah is considered to be more of an engagement than a an actual wedding. Couples often have their Nikkah and use it to hang out together, but they do not consider themselves to be technically married. So Jamilla and Sana’s brother may have already had theirs but they may still have a large celebration to celebrate their union. What if the wedding that Sana attends is actually her brother’s, who is marrying Jamilla.


Based on the past few clips, we see that Jamila and Sana used to be friends and that Jamila tried to look out for Sana on certain occasions. I want Jamilla and Sana to reconcile and talk to each other. I’m always here for girls supporting other girls, and I think Jamilla will be able to understand what it’s like being an outsider. I want Sana to be there for Jamila and help out with the wedding preparations and getting Jamilla ready. I want to see people dancing and having an absolutely amazing time, and Sana looking like a goddess in her pink( symbolizing love for oneself and others) kaftan or her gorgeous gown.

I know it may not make sense with the timeline, seeing that there’s only four more episodes. But honestly give me Sana at a wedding and I’ll be happy forever.

so i’m back on tinder because it is prime procrastination fodder and also amusing to make fun of the number of idiots fishing/snowboarding/being complete and utter bogans in their pictures but anyway do you know how many messages i’ve had about this photo which i included for comedic value:

like six in one day. so idk but apparently if you want boys to talk to you all you gotta do is dress like the rock.

anonymous asked:

84

hope this is okay :)

“C’mon, I’m adorable, you can’t stay mad at me.”

Jasmine stifles her laughs as she moves around the kitchen, Anthony doing his best to stay mad at her as he helps her get their dinner together.

Newlywed life isn’t all that different for Jasmine and Anthony, who were already living together and had a dog before they got married anyway. Now they just found obnoxious ways to call each other husband and wife at any chance that they could, laughing about how annoyed everyone got when they would do so.

Now Anthony was mad at her for something silly, something that wouldn’t mean much in the end. Jasmine knew this, and in trying to get him to laugh and be upbeat about things once more Anthony wasn’t budging, not even cracking half a smile when he looked back up at her, and while Jasmine knew she’d get to it eventually, she’d be lying if she said she didn’t feel a little defeated at him.

“Are you really going to be like this all night?” Jasmine questions, Anthony shrugging as he hides his smirk. Jasmine sighs and walks over to where he’s standing in front of the counter, leaning next to him, her elbows meeting the cool counter.

“C’mon, I’m adorable, you can’t stay mad at me,” She tries, Anthony finally laughing as his head falls to look towards the counter, his shoulders shaking as he can no longer hold it back.

“You’re the worst,” He concedes, Jasmine beaming with pride as she leans up to kiss his cheek, laughing along with him.

“I’ll give you credit though, you were incredibly stubborn for a good 20 minutes or whatever,” She shrugs, going back to finishing up her portion of the dinner. “I really thought I’d be able to crack you way sooner than I did,” She shrugs, Anthony looking back at her.

“It was hard to stay straight faced sometimes, but what can I say? Your husband is an actor for a living,” He smirks, Jasmine rolling her eyes.

“My husband is an amazing actor. Better than I thought he ever was,” She teases, Anthony gasping at her words, only making her laugh more.

The two of them sit down to dinner no longer annoyed with each other, talking and laughing as if they weren’t just mad at each other minutes before. There were a lot of parts of newlywed life that both of them loved, and some parts that they found challenging as they still worked on their relationship.

The one thing they would never let change is their relationship as a whole and how in love they were, both of them set on always making time for each other to have time away from the stresses of work and other aspects of their lives. They both hope that as long as they keep the playfulness and love in their relationship, things will always feel as amazing as they do now.

anonymous asked:

Can I add at this point that baek would've put jongdae last if soo didn't do him like that? fghskdksjd his comment was like 'you should be happy about 11th' and I'm a jongdae stan n still laugh about it fgjskdjs 12th visual ranking is still like...way too high above average idol visuals lmao

I was gonna add that too gkdkdlsl and jongdae was like “ur not any better than me” - jokes on them, theyre all handsome and in 1st place 😛

dearticks-yousuck  asked:

Just found the spoonie community on Tumblr! Would love a follow - I'm looking for friends who can actually relate! (Lyme diagnosed in 2003 and bipolar/panic around 2012)

Welcome to the community! It’s so helpful to have people who understand you and who you can rant, laugh, and cry with all at the same time.

I don’t have those specific conditions (I’m always happy to talk, though!), but I’m sure some of my followers do! Feel free to chime in, anyone.

Wishing you well!

  • Adventures on H-047c:
  • blackjackkent: I just threw the nomad down a giant crevasse whoops
  • cindymeltzer: lol. I like how everybody screams in terror when you drive close to the edge of the cliff, and then vetra’s just laughing
  • blackjackkent: lmao I managed to get stuck in a crevasse without quite falling down into the abyss
  • blackjackkent: and i'm trying to climb back out but the physics engine doesn't know what to do with me
  • blackjackkent: and as I keep getting near the top again it triggers all of the "oh shit" voice lines
  • blackjackkent: so we're crawling very slowly upwards and sliding back down and peebee keeps going "Oh NOOOOOOOO"
  • cindymeltzer: “ryder. ryder please just drop us so we can respawn on solid ground. please this is awful.”
  • blackjackkent: ahahah
  • blackjackkent: YES I ESCAPED
  • blackjackkent: muahaha
  • blackjackkent: the physics engine got nothin' on me
  • cindymeltzer: yaaaaay
  • blackjackkent: (flex)

anonymous asked:

So any tips to get into this whole dating thing that people do?

Oh man! hahah I am literally in the same boat! haha I think it involves making people laugh and then seeing who laughs the most and then spending more time with that person and then forming an alliance to rule the kingdoms, instilling fear amongst your enemies and friends so they stand by you and making babies who will then take over the reign? 
Can you tell I’ve started watching Game of thrones? hahaha 

But in all seriousness I think it’s about being open to everyone… not as in opening your legs to everyone hahaha sorry it’s the morning and i’m making my own jokes and im laughing as i type this but clearly I’m the only one who will find it funny (dad always said I was my best audience haha)
No but when it comes to dating, I think you need to give everyone a chance. We live in a day and age where people are so quick to shun people, ESPECIALLY if that person makes a move in person. We are so used to our technology and people sliding into our DMs that we forget about human interaction. So when someone comes up to us in person we instinctively give them the cold shoulder. Now obviously if they look like someone who just wants sex then maybe it’s a valid reaction but if they seem genuinely interested and are ready to sit and have a conversation then I think it’s cool to give them the chance to do so. It’s not because you have allowed him/her to have a conversation with you that you have to go home with him/her and sleep together. You are still allowed to say “I had a great night, here’s my number, I’d love to do it again sometime” 
So being open to possibility is important. 
Secondly don’t force things. If someone isn’t into you or it just doesn’t seem to click, don’t force it. I mean give it a little push to try and see who they truly are but if they seem genuine and it still doesn’t seem right then get out and find someone you click with. 
My two longer relationships have come from being friends with someone for a while and then getting closer and closer and then deciding to make it a relationship. I think that’s generally the relationships that’ll last longer. Because obviously if you’re friends it means you are on similar wave lengths you like similar things, which is why you’re friends. So if you add romance to that it makes it even more special. 
And if you want to date, well then put yourself on the market! I know things like Tinder, Bumble etc have a massive negative stigma attached to them but give them a go. I’ve met some cool people on there and I know successful tinder stories. If you want to date then get on the dating games haha :) 
Ultimately it’s about putting yourself out there, but that doesn’t mean that you then have no control or say because you’re out on the market. It means people know you’re single and then you can dictate how you want your relationships and dates to work out :)
Hope that helped xxx

The ways in which I will love you

1. Truly
I won’t keep writing cheesy love poems or keep complimenting you. I will say what I think and be verbal about things you can work on, about what I don’t particularly like because there will be somethings I won’t.

2. I will love you.
Why?
There will be no reason.
Not any particular thing but you as a whole.
So you can change and grow, you can progress and you can evolve. As long as you’re you at the core, you have all my love.

3. I will be open to exploring your interests.
I may not care about sports but if that’s something you care about, I will ask you to teach me and I will sincerely learn and take interest.

4. Whatever path it may be, you won’t walk alone. On rainy days, I will share my umbrella and on windy days I will not make fun of your hair. On sunny ones I will share my ice cream and when your shoes are worn out, I will stop with you and help you fix them. Or wait until you find new ones that are just the right fit.

5. I will accept and try to love your crazy family as my own. I understand how complicated and unbelievable families can be but I do know the base is always love.

6. I will give you all my maps and some flashlights too so you can go on to explore parts of me I don’t display. There won’t be anything you will not know if you want to. I won’t let you read my diaries but I will let you read my soul.

7. I will step out of the goof closet I have been living in all my life and show you who I really am and make you laugh and smile and blush and yell.

8. I will say yes to adventure and to crazy sexual desires and have long lists of my very own I will like to explore with you.

9. I won’t cook or clean and I won’t be sorry about it. But I will keep your heart fed and the dark corners of your mind clean.

10. I won’t demand your phone/social media/bank passwords because all I really want is to look in your eyes and know what you’re thinking, to touch you and know what you’re feeling and to love a person I know as well and as little as myself.
As little as myself is only stating the disregard for the expectations and standards of the society and people and the masks we are given to wear on every birthday.

11. I will love the lazy Sundays at home as well as all the days we forget what day of the week it is or what time it really is because we are lost in time zones, on airplanes and in between magic.

12. When we argue I will never not stay silent or keep anything on the inside. I will get it all out so that there is never anything ugly left to grow on the inside.

i love how namjoon encouraged the members to speak in english after they answered in korean throughout the interview, like he’s helping them avoid forming the habit of depending on him for english interviews. and when they had trouble finding the right expressions, namjoon helped and guided them through. personally, i feel like all the members have a good basis of english, but the biggest thing that prevents them from talking fluently is shyness and nervousness. your mind can easily go blank when you’re in an unfamiliar situation, like when talking to strangers, surrounded by a foreign environment. you will think about all the events that can happen next, you will be scared of what would happen if you can’t speak it well, and you will get disappointed at yourself. not to mention there are other factors that make a person unable to speak as fluently as they want, regardless of how much knowledge they have, such as personality, linguistic talent, etc. you can see that they have quite good pronunciation, even better than me, and i consider myself to be somewhat fluent in english. it’s just that they’re too nervous to speak out what they want to say. i’m sure they do arrange their thoughts in english in their heads beforehand, but can’t let it out in words because of nervousness. this is not something that can be fixed in a short time, especially when you’re living in a non-english speaking country and always too busy to solely focus on studying english. i’m so glad namjoon, as someone who has advanced in english ahead, is encouraging and helping the members speak more confidently and fluently, and so do the other members. the way they reacted to each other’s answers, laughing or clapping, those reactions can be seen as just common stuffs but it actually helps building confidence a lot. you will be much more confident in yourself when you know someone understands what you say and goes along with it. they are all helping each other.

fun fact for neurotypicals: a suicidal person can laugh and make jokes and do things that they enjoy and live and work and function all while still being suicidal. stop erasing our mental illnesses just because we don’t constantly act like we’re mentally ill.

I WANT A LAZY 5SOS ACOUSTIC ALBUM WHERE ON ALL THE TRACKS YOU HEAR THEM JUST TALKING IN THE BACKGROUND AND MUCKING ABOUT AND YOU CAN HEAR MICHAEL LAUGHING AND ASHTON GOING “WHEE” AT INAPPROPRIATE TIMES AND ITS JUST LIKE THEYRE JAMMING IN SOME SHITTY GARAGE BUT THE SOUND IS SO RAW AND YOU CAN ACTUALLY HEAR THEIR INSTRUMENTS LIKE THERES NO SHITTY TECHNO RIFF OVER THE TOP THIS TYPE OF ALBUM WOULD BE SUCH A BLESSING I BEG FOR THIS

Tips for Surviving Tough Times

1. Remind yourself that you still have options (even if they aren’t all appealing at the moment).

2. Focus on those few things that are going well (even if you have to scratch your head and really, really think!)

3. Decide what you can do … and then just take the next small step. And then, when you’ve done that, take another tiny step.

4. Admit how you are feelings; admit your greatest fears o fight, and persevere.

5. Let go of all the oughts, and the musts and the shoulds. Demands and expectations will only wear you down.

6. Ensure your life is balanced – and make sure you make the time to relax, have some fun, to chill out, and have a laugh.

episode two :: Yuri realizes, suddenly and terribly, he might be a little bit in love.  


Victor doesn’t even try to go to sleep.  He just lays in bed with his laptop, watching the thirty-seven takes of Yuuri trying to get “hi, I’m Yuuri Katsuki, and I’m the Bachelor” out of his mouth.

Don’t they know who I am?” Yuuri slurs on screen.  

Yuuri, you have to put the champagne bottle down, you have to pretend to be sober,” Phichit says off camera, all authority gone from his voice.  He’s trying not to laugh.

Phichit,” Yuuri says, and he takes a big swig from the bottle, bubbles pouring down both sides of his lips. “You can’t tell me what to do.  I’m Yuuri Katsuki, and I’m the motherfucking Bachelor.

Keep reading

No, Wait, You Got it All Wrong

You know what there’s not enough of? Canon compliant future fic where Stiles is a cop and he runs into Derek again. What’s that you say? There’s a ton of that?? Yes, true, but NOT ENOUGH.

“…. so then he says, ‘No, Officer, I swear to God this is the first time I’ve ever smoked up! I’ve never been in trouble with the law in my life! And I say, Billy, my man, you’ve been in trouble with me personally twice this month.” Stiles snorts at the memory. “Kid was so fucking high.”

Amanda must be halfway past tipsy, because she laughs uproariously into her beer at the mediocre punchline.

Stiles smiles. He’s satisfied with her reaction, with the warm murmur of the bar, with the buzz he’s got going… with just about everything, actually. After tonight, he’s looking at two full days off before he’s back on the beat, and the night’s still young. He leans back in his chair and takes a pull of his beer, savoring it.

Amanda glances towards the bar, probably considering a fourth round, and then visibly perks up as something near the front catches her eye.

“Oooh, Stiles,” she croons. “Look over at the door, like, just glance over.” She’s adjusted her gaze down at the table now, faking casual disinterest. Badly.

Stiles raises his eyebrows at her.

“This dude just walked in, he’s so your type,” she hisses. “C’mon, look! I’m telling you, six feet two inches of ‘yes, please, give it to me’ muscles, with some salt-and-pepper scruff icing. Unff.”

“Eh,” Stiles says, tipping his weight forward to hunch over the table. It’s not that he isn’t interested, exactly, but this is a cop bar and he doesn’t want to shit where he eats. Metaphorically.

“No, really,” Amanda insists. “He's… oh my God, he’s looking over here. He’s looking at you. Oh my God, Stiles, he’s coming over here!”

“No, he isn’t,” Stiles scoffs. He’s filled out a bit from high school and he’s finally competent at styling his hair, but he’s not that hot. Only Amanda’s sitting straight like a rod, eyes fixed on a point behind him that’s about where a six foot two man’s eyes would be.

“Stiles?”

He turns then, shooting to his feet before his brain’s quite caught up, because that voice is familiar like the back of his own hand.

Keep reading

My dad and I were discussing DMing and potential city names

Me: I don’t think I’ll do northern-Europe-type names. I can’t pronounce them.

Dad: Yeah, with all the umlauts and everything.

Me: The only one I can think of that I’d be able to pronounce is… *thinking of one on the spot* …“Fjordford.”

My dad burst into laughter before he replied.

Dad: Fjordford? I’m definitely going to use that one! And the shopkeeper is going to be that “#1” guy from Spongebob. The one with the hat. …Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen.

Me (laughing): I thought you were going to say that “Big Summer Blowout” guy from Frozen!