and all these other people i can't tag

aceofalmonds  asked:

Hello! I read (and enjoyed!) the story you posted of your grandpa and his tree disposal methods, and so was looking for the story you mentioned of your other grandpa menacing a peach tree with a baseball bat, but can't seem to find it. Halp?

That would be because I haven’t posted it yet!  Many people have requested the story mentioned in the tags “Grandpa Menaces a Peach Tree With A Baseball Bat”, So here it is, with a side of “Grandpa Menaces The Iowa Relatives With Giant Corn”

**

For the Full Context of this tale, you have to understand how my dad’s side of the family got to America in the first place.  Prior to 1917, they were all farmers of limited success that migrated from county to county, trying not to starve, until a covey of the Fitzpatricks heard that they could be shoveling shit in Grand Americay, far away from the people they owed money to, so they all fucked off to Iowa and somehow made a fortune in the real-estate business in the middle of the depression.  Despite now being comfortably middle-class, they never actually gave up farming, and having a pair of glowing green thumbs was a point of pride in the family.

So, when Grandpa moved out to California, specifically to the Salinas Valley, which is where an absurd percentage of the country’s food is grown because it’s full of probably the world’s most stupidly good soil,  Grandpa had to continue the tradition and set up a garden in the backyard, planted various crops and flowers in January because fuck you this is coastal California, I can start stuff in the middle of winter, and invited his sister Leone and her growing brood of (at the time, 5, later 9 children) out to visit.

They came out in July, to escape the Midwest humidity and Butter fetish for a time, when the corn is typically getting to be around knee-height if things are going well.  Grandpa spent a long time asking how things were back on the farm, plying them with ice tea and grandma’s lethal Angel Food cake, before politely inviting Leone and her Husband Scotty out back to see how his patch was doing, oh its not much really, just a bit of fun for me and the children-

Scotty and Leone stared at the nine-foot-tall goddamn corn which was already setting fruit because it had been going since January.  At the watermelon plant that had taken over the side-yard, and at the other oversize and thriving crops that had taken over grandpa’s yard.  There was a few moments of awed silence.

“Well fuck you Edwin.” Scotty eventually said, before Leone whopped him over the head and the rest of the visit was a pleasant diversion.

the following spring though, Grandpa received a package from Iowa, specifically a small peach tree with a note saying “With Love, Scotty.”

Leone knew better than to engage in such shenanigans, because this is irish-agrarian passive-aggressive Bullshittery at its absolute finest.  “Sure, yeah, you can do corn.  Any asshole can do corn.  TRY THIS FUSSY-ASS PEACH VARIETAL INSTEAD, YOU ASS”  is perhaps a more accurate translation.

Grandpa, not about to be intimidated by a mere tree, planted that sucker in the front yard and proceeded to pamper it- bone meal fertilizer, a brand-new irrigation system, the works.  Hell, he would go out some times and talk to the darn thing.  It flowered, and he borrowed a behive from one of the local farmers to make DARN SURE that it got pollinated, because he was going to mail peaches to Scotty for Christmas, that asshole.

The tree. Did not. fruit.

That fall, grandpa reccived a letter from Scotty, asking after a couple paragraphs of circumlocutions, how that tree he sent was doing?

Grandpa got up, made himself a martini, picked up Dad’s baseball bat, and walked out to the front yard to have a discussion with the Peach tree.  

“I’ve just received a letter.”  he explained, waving the paper at the tree. “Asking when you’re going to fruit.  Now, I think I’ve held up my responsibilities to you as your caretaker, so it’s time for you to start providing.  Do you understand?  This spring, you better start fruiting or I will personally take this bat to you and turn you to into kindling.”

He stepped close to the tree, sticking his face in the branches as though whispering into it’s hypothetical ear. “Do not test me, you little shit.”

The next week, the tree bloomed out of season, and by February, it had set an obscene amount of fruit, which grandpa gleefully turned into preserves and mailed back to Iowa.

anonymous asked:

I saw someone headcanoning that Sero and Bakugou had this friends with benefits thing in the past in which they would make out sometimes just for fun. I really liked that idea. How would you think Kaminari and Kirishima would react to that? Do you think they'd get jealous or?

  • Cartoonz: you fucking furry
  • Delirious: I didn't come here to be slandered like this

Honestly, I’m so used to being in the closet that I sometimes catch myself implying that I’m straight around people I’m already out to. So I just wanna give a s/o to any other LGBT+ person who catches themselves doing the same thing. Don’t beat yourself up if you accidentally use the wrong pronouns for yourself or if you have to pretend that you’re straight – it’s not your fault that you were forced to be closeted for so long. You’re doing fine.

2

A shoddily-drawn response to a Twitter rant shared by an illustrator I admire.

The fact is, most human beings have at least some racist/ethnocentrist influences that affect their ideas. It’s literally impossible to avoid. 

You can recognize this and be attentive to your own thinking about members of other groups (and your own) without making the fallacious claim that all white people are racist, or that white people are especially racist, or that racism is only harmful if it’s coming from white people.

Being white doesn’t make you racist. 

Stereotypes aren’t the solution to racism. 

Do people the basic courtesy of treating them as individuals, and encourage others to do the same.

In Regards to Hate: On Victuuri

I don’t know what suddenly happened again but there’s a shitton of hate for Victuuri/Viktuuri(/etc) in the tags lately. People are welcome to feel however they want for a particular ship, but I just wanted to give my two cents by tackling the common complaints I’ve seen. I’ll start from the beginning so I’ll be addressing basically all the arguments against this ship I’ve seen so far. I’ve tried to maintain some sort of order for these, but honestly I just winged it at some point.  A lot of these arguments are also heavily character-based, so keep in mind that I’ll be deconstructing several scenes as well as character motivations as I go.  (As a note, this assumes you’ve seen the whole show. Also, I’m only using canon evidence from the show itself.)

This is like an informal follow-up to my super old post but also not really.

No I’m not avoiding work why would you say that.

WARNING: This is a massive post/wall of text. Grab popcorn.

Keep reading

10

A short little comic idea I’ve had for a while. Didn’t want to draw it until now because I wanted it to ‘look nice’, but now I threw out the’ look nice’ part and just drew it. This is how I felt about the Undertale fandom.

I had played the game but was slightly scared to dig deeper into the fandom to find out what all new designs meant. I didn’t fall into the ‘AU world’ until I saw loverofpiggies Error sans. I swam even deeper into the AU fandom when I found comyet Ink Sans and I’ve only continued to love every new AU and drawing I see and come across.

Thank you for making me love Undertale, this is the best fandom I’ve ever been in and I plan to stay for a loooong time.

@loverofpiggies @comyet @corefrisk @askspacesans @danny-trash @renrink @kuttiesstuff @miya-sheep @tratserenoyreve @yoralim @ttoba @undertaleau

(Now that my tagging wants to work, I tag everyone who helped me absolutely love the Undertale AU universe. The blogs that I found first and made me understand the fandom more. Everyone deserves all the love, everyone in this whole fandom. Hugs for everyone, you are an amazing person every single one of you. I love you tagged people for making me love Undertale. And I love you other people who aren’t tagged because you are who you are.)

when raven said “do you know what it’s like to be in pain every day,” i remembered every time i have ever said those exact words to people who don’t understand.

when raven said that she wanted to go back to space because that was the last time she felt free, i remembered every time i wished for things i used to be able to do before my chronic pain started.

when raven chose her own path instead of following the one that other people have set out for her, i thought of every time i have refused medication or have had to stand up for myself because i know what i want to do with my body, no matter how sick or in pain i am.

raven reyes is important representation for people with chronic pain. we may not be a large group but we’re here and we love raven reyes with all of our hearts.

  • what she says: yeah don't worry about me, I'm fine
  • what she means: I just want to be loved like Percy loves Annabeth or how Grover loves Juniper or how they all care about each other even if something goes wrong aka Luke Castellan we don't even care about people anymore it's just us saying "I want the iPhone 7 but my parents said no so they suck." We can't even love each other, I want be to be loved, I NEED to be loved, we all do, just once I want to be like a perfect person in a perfect world, but sadly it's not possible in the real world nor fictional world

I heard you like AUs in your AUs???? 

What happens when @its-me-lsp leads the dance? THIS! Hnnnn touching!.. We talked about this! )^F<

( My GOD this was supposed to be a small doodle but oooh I just love these two so much I couldn’t stop there! <’D )

( I wonder when is she going to notice he can’t hear any of the music 8l… )

This is how it's done

So last night was talking to a mutual and we were talking about writings and pairs I had…. never would have guessed they were an anti. Which it is all cool…. and you wanna know why?!?!

Cause they don’t read my Otayuri and just my other pairs —- it’s really that easy! My stories are easily tagged and they can by pass the pairings they don’t like!

We didn’t have any argument. I heard their side…. they heard mine. And theirs was nothing age related at all lmao! And we still get along!

There are ways to do this people!

When you see someone being an idiot and an ass about something/to someone and you check the op and they’re from your fandom/the same ship.. And you just have to close your eyes and take a deep breath to calm down… But you just can’t help but think “Dear god this is why we have such a bad reputation and everyone hates us”

Everything managed to cooperate long enough for me to upload one of the things I found: a second texture for the “Winter Blossoms” print! I don’t know if anybody else has already found this - and I apologize if this is the case - but I’ve never seen it anywhere, and searching google and MTS turned up nothing. I wish I could have linked the recolor package to the texture in the file but I have no idea how to attempt to do that :P it’s only 20kb though. 

Download yay

Zip file contains the recolor plus the extracted PNG texture, in case you want it. :) I haven’t changed or edited it in any way (though it probably needs it tbh) and it’s been compressorized. Let me know if anything’s wrong, and keep an eye out for more of the stuff I’ve found soon :)

anonymous asked:

There is someone that is totally okay with continuing to tag their Kent hate. I mean, whatever. Blocked and all. But I find it ironic that they say that we HAVE to interpret Kent one way, but we HAVE to let people interpret other characters however they want. Like get over yourself, please. Yes, check please has a happy, queer romance story. But is it realistic? I can't say it is. I'm sorry if I want more hockey and more about the characters I'm already invested in. I'm not sorry that it's Kent.

YES! Super agree with all of these. Some things that came to me today:

1. On Check Please being a happy, queer romance story, I get that, but I think what bothers me the most is how inconsistent the writing of Check Please is in that regard. Because Ngozi says this is supposed to be an exploration of a world that Bitty can thrive, but it didn’t start like that at all. There are all sorts of issues that were presented in the beginning that were abandoned in pursuit of the love story that she wanted all along.

Jack’s mental health issue was there as a tragic backstory and insofar as it provided a vulnerable!Jack moment for Bitty and which leads to possibly more tragic backstory. But that very important facet to Jack just vanished along and was forgotten when it’s a valid consideration when they were outing themselves to his front office and teammates. Or take the fact that it was very possible that the added pressure of being closeted and being in a relationship was what drove Jack’s anxiety up a notch, as she hinted when she presented the vignettes of Jack and Kent’s relationship just before the draft–that didn’t all seem to matter because this is suddenly a world cured of homophobia when he presented Bitty as his boo. (Meanwhile, in the real world, millionaire Ryan Getzlaf repeatedly called a ref “cocksucker” and only got fined 10k and Anaheim fans are raising money to pay the fine.) Or that N introduced the idea that Jack had very real issues about meeting his father’s expectations –very real when he ignored the hell out of Bitty because Bitty scored a GWG– but wasn’t real when it’s a huge possibility that his hypermasculine dad could have objections to him outing himself for a few months’ old relationship . Or take the issue of Jack’s bisexuality. It was additional drama to pile on Bitty when he was insecure about their months-old relationship, but Jack’s bisexuality was never discussed, or how relevant that is in his situation as a closeted pro athlete. Or maybe that Jack is Bitty’s first relationship while it was said in the comic that Bitty wasn’t even ready to be out to his family yet–and yet that was forgotten when Jack practically convinced him they could be out, together. There are so, so many more points I could raise here, but what I’m trying to get at is that I see this canon as a series of writing decisions that opens up real, tangible issues, but fails to follow up on them, blatantly ignores them, in the guise of, hey this is supposed to be a happy story so no no no no drama. I’m here, like, 

me: but what about– 
canon: NO. NO DRAMA. NO

And it’s not as if those were issues are imagined, she wrote them in canon in the first place and then abandons them, leaving me unsatisfied and uneasy while there are so many loose threads flying about. But we’re supposed to ignore them because twu wuv, yeah?

2. I’ve said this before, but why not Kent? Kent is a closeted LGBT who loved a guy for years who just turned out to be buddyfucking him the whole time–he can’t even grieve properly? There is relatability to his heartbreak, complexity to his transformation from that soft-looking boy in his teen years to that night where he’s sharp and cold as he lashes out in anger. That Captain with a broken heart who tries to grapple at his remaining dignity by playing with every inch of the skill he’s learned lends himself to all kinds of possibilities that is exciting to explore. I love it (and I’m happy people love him too!), and his whiteness or his ‘problematic’ behavior shouldn’t be a deterrent to exploring his interiority, because that’s what fandom does! Fandom is precisely the proper space to explore what you want to explore because pushing all kinds of boundaries is what we do when we talk about and write stories that give layers to this character that they claim should be one-dimensional. Quoting some intelligent lady: You can’t keep telling yourselves and everyone else around you that this is a space where you come to to expand storylines and to push back against toxic cultural messages, and at the same time maintain that this is a line too far, that this is not something that is within your control.

3. Moreover, he’s a closeted professional athlete – and his story matters because his story has consequence. If there is an LGBT player right now in the NHL, they’re closeted and as trapped as Kent is in that situation. I feel like when I read Kent fics, most are fully cognizant and acknowledging of the brunt of being in that precarious situation, and that’s why they’re satisfying to me. Jack and Bitty’s story is in a bubble because they’re like in an alternate universe that isn’t remotely this one; the bubble that is modern capitalism is likelier to burst than Jack and Bitty’s little fantasy life. It’s like they exist in a vacuum devoid of real life common sense consequences. So sue me for wanting my stories having cause-effect.

4. I’m looking forward to Jack and Kent meeting again because there’ll be hockey, and I signed up here for hockey, which, for a hockey-themed comic seems scarce and inaccurate about. Though that might mean N will get to fulfill her Jack NHL Suksez Storyline when he finally is better than Kent because he’s powered by love and pies gags

anonymous asked:

Hello, I am very new in the fandom, I've discovered BTS less than a week ago and I immediately started to ship JiKook, I don't know why, they just so cute I don't even.... I'd like to know if there are some other good active JiKook tumblr here you can recommend to me? (pictures, video, analysis etc) Sorry for the odd question but I can't get enough of them ^^ thank you I looooove your page <3

WELCOME. HOW UNFORTUNATE WONDERFUL OF YOU TO STUMBLE UPON MY BLOG FIRST :D :D :D

As I receive this question often, I do have a blogs rec tag which I always refer people to. My favs are all on there with full description of what they do and why they’re my favs :)

I also have a rather self-proclaimed well compiled list of favourite YouTube channels where you can go for analyses, fmvs and just a bunch of cute adorable clips and what not.

Anyways, I’m glad you fell for the jikook on first sight and I hope you will have more happy otp moments to come. I assure you you’ll never be bored and it’s only gotten better and better…at least for me. I always hear of people hopping ship to join our armada or just falling in love at first sight, but never abandoning the luxury cruise that is jikook, so you’re in for a good time. I promise ;P

Thank you for all the loveliness and I hope I’ll see you around ^^ 

anonymous asked:

Hoooo boy, I just saw a Sha||y saying that fanon klance is abusive when literally 9/10 posts of klance I see are just fluffy fanarts and text posts???? And the other 1 is angsty? Like do they think angsty art or fics are abusive, because I guess people can't be sad without being abused???! I'm so confused??

I mean there are some posts where Keith ends up punching or stabbing Lance for a joke but after all the hullabaloo about it its calmed down alot from what I can see.

And those don’t make sense to me because Keith has never laid a hand on Lance ever???? Only to hold his hand for 20 seconds too long and stare into his eyes like he’s the very star that outshines all others in the universe??????

I was tagged by @thekezziekez , thank you for thinking of me!

It’s the good ol’ Put Your Music On Shuffle and Post The First Ten Songs game

Rooftop Brawl - Bishop Allen
Who Do You Love? - George Thorogood & The Destroyers
Shake It Up - The Cars
You’re My Best Friend - Queen
Aventurera - Natalia Lafourcade
Until the Night Turns - Lord Huron
Lady - Little River Band
The Birds Are Singing At Night - Lord Huron
Radar Love - Golden Earring
Say It, Just Say It - The Mowgli’s

Tagging: @bluespacequeen @run-on-lightning @oathkeeper-of-tarth  @skelestamp @sharkbait-tumbles @nintenerd64 @genderlessspacerock @skymar

@fatalcookies @papercrane hey it won’t lemme tag y’all but if you see this there it is

anyway it’s all for fun not for obligation friendos -finger guns-