and all the sudden i am crying

TBT: a journey

About two months ago I was hate-watching the finale of Pretty Little Liars because I started watching it as a joke and got roped in by gays and murder and Troian Bellisario’s voice. Anyway there was this preview for this show and these 3 chicks were screaming at a subway.  And I wasn’t sure what was going on…Cosmo? That chick from Faking It? Cute black girl? Some white chick with a bougie name like Sutton? No thanks.

And then there was a preview during the PLL finale where they were talking with the chick from Faking It about orgasms.  And the other white girl and her black friend were being funny and the white girl had this line “Loving the can-do spirit!” And it made me chuckle.  So then when PLL ended I was like “eh…what the hell”.

And then I realized wait, these 3 chicks are super supportive of each other? And feel like real friends?

Oh and bougie Sutton is actually super relatable and hilarious, but also just really hardworking.

Oh and there was this boss, who is the chick from The Office, and when you think she’s just going to be a Devil Wears Prada rip off she’s actually really supportive of her staff and inspiring? 

And all of a sudden I’m just…What the hell am I watching? Why does this feel so rare and why am I smiling?

Oh wait…and then there was a LESBIAN MUSLIM RABBIT HOLE.  

And this character Adena, and Kat, and Kat doesn’t know if she likes girls. 

And all of a sudden I’m crying because this hits so close to home. And then she has a revelation at a gosh dang SOUL CYCLE class and it’s so absurd yet feels the most real any scene I’ve ever seen and it’s paired with Sutton negotiating a salary?! And I’m watching this nonsense and screaming: WHAT IS THIS GEM OF A SHOW!!!

And then some drama happened and Tiny Jany (because that’s what we call her because she’s tiny) might have a BRCA gene and she just sobs and I am sobbing with her. And they all get in a bathtub together and it’s the cutest goddamn scene ever.

Oh and then Kadena (because that’s what they’re called now because I just dove right into the trash of shipping this shit so hard) have the type of angst and slow burn that normally the straight whites have.  And they have this drawn out ROMANCE. That usually only happens in movies!

And they have the epic airport goodbyes, and the slow sex scene (in an airport).  

Because Kat not knowing how to label herself is real. And Kat being terrified of relationships is real.  And Tiny Jane living the dream but still wanting more for herself and to take risks is real. And Sutton Brady is just the realest character out there.

I regret nothing from that random decision a few months ago. 

when ppl describe having bpd as “literal hell” and all the sudden ur spiraling into panic bc is my life actually hell?? if it’s not, do i Not have bpd??? am i making this all up???? what does “normal” even feel like??? is what i’m feeling “normal”???? is my functioning even at all impaired, or is my level of dysfunction “normal”??????? did things used to feel worse????? bc i can’t remember at all what i’ve felt before????????? who would i be without my bpd label???? who am i???? am i ok??????????

Me & Sertraline

- I want to and need to eat but deciding what to have is so fucking difficult.
- “Oh, you wanna orgasm? Good one…”.
- I can’t cry, which makes me want to cry.
- I’m sleepy.
- Are my dreams actually dreams or memories?
- I don’t give a fuck anymore.
- I’m smiling like an idiot for no reason. Why the fuck am I so happy all of a sudden? Okay cool.
- 2 drinks of alcohol aaaaaand I’m drunk.
- I’m fucking worthless.
- I’m going to research more suicide methods.
- This food makes me feel sick.
- I’m sleepy again. Nap time.
- Can you like, fuck off? Kthxbye.
- Is this stuff even working?

Day #12

So yesterday was a real emotional roller coaster.
I was thinking about #MothersDay and my thoughts were all good at first, I have a few mother like figures in my life that I am so blessed to have. But then, all of a sudden my brain took a detour and I was literally boo-hoo crying at the thought that one day, my moms, the women who very much contributed to who I am today, will one day pass. … I have never NOT been able to control my emotions like this. I have always been one of those people that in times of high anxiety or stress, something in me switches off, and I show little to no emotion. But yesterday… It was like every time I thought I had it together, thinking good thoughts… nope, brain detours back to traumatic thoughts and she is crying again. So basically I cried a lot yesterday over Mother’s Day.

Good News!
Today I feel better.
I have plans to have dinner with My mom tomorrow, going to go where ever heart desires. She has transformed her life lately with a knee surgery and some major life changes that have got her out camping and doing the things she loves again. It is a beautiful thing honestly, it has inspired me so much to take charge of my own body, mind & spirit. Then on Sunday, We are going over to cock dinner for George’s Mom, she has been in okay health as of late, so not good but not awful. So we are going to go spend some time over there. She doesn’t know we are coming so we hope she is pleasantly surprised. We also managed to get his sister’s in on it, and together were going to grill out and we created a meal with all of the things that his mom can eat. She has a lot of diet restrictions, so getting together for a family meal is a little more difficult, but I think George & his sisters really pulled something nice together, I’m excited.

HRT is a huge milestone for me and I wonder often, how in the deep south I managed to be blessed with not only a loving and accepting birth mother, but in my 24 years I have met and been loved & accepted by so many other mom’s.
Love on your Mama this weekend!

-Elliott Alexander

bpd is like… oh you say you love me? no, you don’t, you fucking liar. where’s the evidence?

bpd is like… oh you cause me pain and make me feel unloved? I fucking love you so much. I will try so hard to get your attention and I’ll never get it.

bpd is like… you haven’t replied to me within five minutes. who is the whore? are you leaving me? oh god, anxiety attack.

bpd is like… holy shit, I’m so hot. Oh, nope, there’s the ugly. Oh wait, I’m hot again.

bpd is like… I love you so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Oh, a little inconvenience? Now I hate you and you’re trash.

bpd is like… Oh, you cancelled plans because you had something important? bull shit, you hate me. Your love for me has faded. all of a sudden I feel like dying.

bpd is like… oh gosh, my heart is breaking. time to throw everything and cry uncontrollably.

bpd is like… I’m doing all this stuff I usually have fun with, but I’m so bored. No matter what, I’m bored. Empty, too.

bpd is like… I wanted to do this, but all of a sudden my goals have changed. I don’t even know who I am. they like that, so I guess I like it now. I don’t know what I like.

bpd is like… I did something really embarrassing three years ago. They probably remember It so vividly and think I’m stupid. I’m embarrassed all over again.

bpd is like… gosh, I’m going to do this so they give me attention. I’m so manipulative but I need that love and attention so bad.


Originally posted by beui

words: 4k+
genre: angsty-ish? with a hint of fluff
a/n: okay, so i’ve been getting a lot of yoongi feels lately & i just wanted to get it all out before it did some serious damage to me lol also, i’ve been feeling the need to get back into writing so what better way than writing about yoongi, amirite? ;D

summary: min yoongi was a workaholic and he was going to lose the best part of him if he didn’t wake up and realize just how much it was going to hurt if you left him.

Min Yoongi was everything you’ve ever asked for. He was more than just the love of your life. He was your soulmate, your rock, your pillar. He was what grounded you down when your mind slipped in and out sometimes.

Dating the man had its ups and downs, though. Yoongi was a workaholic. His music came before anything else in his life, even if it meant you. You tried to understand just how much music meant to him, but that didn’t mean you didn’t try to reason with Yoongi about how much time he was spending in his studio. He never really listened to you despite your attempts to get him to sleep early and rest, though.

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Nocking Point Wine Tasting Party

Aka the event where I just had the most INCREDIBLE, amazing, fan-fucking-tastic night with Stephen Amell and my girls Jesi ( @jesileighs ) and Kristy ( @cbcbiology

After many requests on twitter to write this out on tumblr here I am. This is long so take a seat! pictures are included and before you ask me “HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?” let me tell you “I HAVE NO CLUE I’M SHOCKED AND IN AWE ABOUT THIS TOO!” ok? On with the story

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Summary: Realization strikes you once you’re suddenly overwhelmed by your feelings for your roommate, blaming yourself for being so clueless all along to see what was really infront of you.

Word Count: 1,931.

A/N: Enjoy this Roommate!Bucky fic I decided to come up with. Surprisingly, I really like how it came out. Hope you enjoy! And as always, feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Originally posted by buckynsebimagines

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Unfaithful (Part III)

(Part I) (Part II)

Hello my loves! Just thought I’d get this out to you before my short break from writing. I have a request that is done too, so once I reread it and fix whatever mistakes there are, I’ll have that posted too. Love always <3

Warnings: None really. Language of course, but we are dealing with the Blinders, am I right? That’s to be expected

The sun flooded through the windows of the room Polly let me stay in, waking me up from a less than ideal night of tossing and turning on the mattress.

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Hoshidan Festival: Saizo and Kanna Parent-Child Convo


I deeply enjoyed translating this one. It’s hilarious to see that if Saizo is Kanna’s father, then Kanna takes after… his Uncle Kaze the most. His dear Uncle Kaze who is a bit of a manipulative tease and has his brother wrapped around his finger. Seems that it runs in the family, hmmm? Asugi also could probably wrap his father around his finger if he outright tried.

(It may be purely localization, but if you marry him, Saizo will confess that he’s ticklish in a lovers’ bonding quote… and then if you wake him up roughly, he’ll panic and then say “I was afraid that you were Kaze for a second.” Looks like Kaze was the mischievous little brother type, eh Saizo?)

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Second Chance - Part Four

I will never be able to get over the responses I’ve been getting to this story. If I could, I would hug all of you for your comments, your messages, all of it. I’ve decided I’m gonna try to make Sundays update days, so I have enough time to work on each next chunk the way I really want to, and then so @sannvers has enough time to proofread them. Thank you for your patience, and I hope you like chunk four! Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list!

Title: Second Chance

Pairing: Eventual Gaston x Fem!Reader

Rating: T

Words: 6,405

Summary: You try to stop Gaston from shooting the Beast and falling to his death, but you arrive too late to save him. As you sit there, sobbing, the Enchantress overs you a second chance to save him.

Tagging: @i-wished-upon-a-star-one-night @with-a-hint-of-pesto-aioli @hobbithorse19 @leah5684 @princessbelgoof @captainskyline @theoncergames @geeky-girl-394 @were-allstoriesinthe-end084 @brooke-supernatural16 @certainasthesvn @jordyhaley @superlokidwholock @smilesnjh @prongspower @bitchingqueenoferebor @scarletdarkholme @hemmingbaes @bae-kage @areuslow @lovelylpevensie @uknwwhttheysayboutthecrzy1s @moonbeams-and-pie @17gnomes-in-a-trenchcoat @superwholockedrosx @panda-reads-stuff @ultimatetrashlord @elenawrit @the7thsilence @blackxthexbeast @rainwing-galaxy

Previous Chapter

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I have posted why I was so upset last week on my personal blog. I’m back, but I am not really fully recovered so I ask that everyone please be patient with me and don’t make any sudden movements lol. But jokes aside, I am in a really bad place right now. I need the distraction, but if the distraction is adding to my woes then I can’t handle it. I cope with jokes because if you can’t laugh then all there is left to do is cry. My humor is dark because of that. I understand it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and I’m not asking you to laugh, but it would be nice not to get hate mail over it. I hope everyone understands. -Abby

Clearing Confessions Part 2 (JUNGKOOK ANGST + FLUFF)

Read Part 1 here:

Part 2:


I’m frozen, paralyzed sitting on the bench. My favorite person in the world just told me she loved me. I lover her too, but not like that. Do I? I don’t realize Jimin is calling me until the fourth ring. I pick up and say “Hello,” absent-mindedly.

“Hey man! Great news. I got Hwasa to get Lisa to come on the date tonight.”

When I don’t respond, Jimin says, “Hello, Jungkook are you there?” I hang up. I begin to pace back and forth in the clearing. Anxiety builds up in my chest. I can’t imagine not being friends with Y/N but odds are now she will never want to talk to me again. I sit down on the grass, trying to get my thought together. I’ve known Y/N for as long as I can remember. She’s smart and so quirky. She’s beautiful too, i’ve just never thought of her as anything more than a friend.

I lay my head down on the grass and sigh. I open my phone and scroll through my camera roll. I stop at a picture Taehyung took of Y/N last year on the trip to the amusement park. I laugh to myself seeing Y/N’s sheepish expression in the photo. I remember I told her to not where those new shoes she had bought the day before but of course she didn’t listen to me. And she calls me stubborn all the time? I scoff to myself. I ended up carrying her to every ride on my back. It was fun though, I would spin her around and she would squeal and laugh her perfect laugh. She paid me by feeding me slushies in this cup we bought with crazy-straws. I smile to myself, the sound of her laugh from that day replaying in my head. And then all of a sudden the pain is back because I realize there is a chance I may never hear her laugh again or if I do, it won’t be with me.

I pull myself up off the ground and am about to sprint out of the clearing to find Y/N. I feel trickles of rain on my forehead but I ignore it, my attention focused on the crumpled up piece of paper on the ground.


I’m struggling not to cry as I maneuver my way through the trees. I can’t stop thinking about the way he looked at me. Like I was different person for loving him. I’m the idiot anyways; for thinking this could work. I just wanted it so bad. I’m mad at him, and I’m embarrassed and i hate myself because I already miss him. I left angry and i miss his voice. He left me rejected and dejected so why do I feel like he’s the only person who can make me feel better.

The rain is trickling down now but I don’t even care. I want it to keep raining. I want the rain to conceal my tears and wash away my hurt. I want it to wash away my love for Jungkook.

I’m walking for what feel like minutes but by the way the rain is pouring now it must have been a while. I look around and see that I don’t really recognizes anything near me. I start to panic, my skin cold and my clothes drenched. I try to hop around, looking around frantically and avoiding puddles.

In my frantic state, I trip over a branch and cut myself on a stone. I yell out in pain. Eventually my yelling turns into a loud, uncontrollable sobbing. My sobbing is cut off when I hear the distant sound of a voice beneath the sound of the rain hitting the ground. I look around and see Jungkook, equally drenched and running towards me.

“Y/N! Are you okay?” He asks worriedly, kneeling down beside me to examine the large gash on my knee. I retract my leg away from him. “I’m fine.” I say as coldly as I can muster in between sniffles.

Jungkook tilts his head at me. “Y/N, I know you. You aren’t fine.” The rage I had built up on this endless walk is unleashed on him at that. “No Jungkook. You don’t know me. You don’t know how I feel or how I’m feeling and you never will!” I struggle to get up with my wounded leg but Jungkook takes advantage of my injury and pulls me into his lap. I’m completely shocked and taken aback by his actions.

Jungkook pulls out my letter and says, “I read it.” If it wasn’t so dark with the cloud cover and the shade of the trees, I would have been a red beam of blush. I quickly look away but Jungkook pulls my chin to face him. “Y/N, I didn’t know what to say when you confessed like that. But when you left, I felt how empty it was without you.”

“Jungkook..” I begin. “No let me finish,” he insists.

“Y/N you are so annoying. You always break off pieces of pastries before you eat them and it drives me crazy. You are a terrible driver not because your reckless but because you always let people cut in front of you, you’re always way too nice. I remember I asked you why and you said you were afraid of karma so now I am too but it’s made me a better person. You made me a better person. Your laugh makes me laugh but not because it sounds funny but because you have this face when you laugh where you scrunch up your nose and close your eyes and it’s just the best thing I’ve ever seen. Sometimes I feel like I make it my job to make you laugh because I just want to see it again. You are absolutely stunning and it’s annoying how you never acknowledge it. I’ve always thought you were gorgeous I just never really said it because I didn’t want it to be awkward between us. Y/N, I know you. You like comedies and you hate sci-fi. You never go to bed with socks. When someone asks you what your favorite food is you say Lasagna but I know that it’s really rice pudding but you don’t say it anymore because you don’t want to explain yourself. Y/N you don’t have to explain yourself to me because I love you.”

I was speechless for a moment. My brain wasn’t able to process any of what he just said, especially those last three words. My brain also couldn’t process when he pulled my face to his and kissed me passionately. With the rain pouring down on us and our lips moving in sync, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. Two best friends in love.


Hello! Special special thanks to @rajwah12345 for requesting Part 2 <3<3 Sorry part 2 literally took forever!

If you liked the imagine and want request more checkout our prompts list or send us an idea! Thanks so much!

~ Armygirl

BTS Reaction To Their Girlfriend Being In The Hospital (Sick)

Namjoon: When he received the call that you were in the hospital for the second time he quickly rushed to you. You apologized for making him miss practice again feeling guilty. But he saw how your once warm hands were as cold as ice.

“What’s more important to me right now is you, not practice. Stop apologizing (Y/N) this could be something serious and I need to be here with you.“

Originally posted by somethingdeepandwise

Taehyung: You woke with a terrible pain in your abdomen again causing you to land in the hospital. He sat down in the waiting room, anxious about your health. Your crying pain was still echoing in his ears.

“Please let it be something minor, please,” he’d quietly beg as the doctor went over to him.

Originally posted by myeong-su

Hoseok: He was waiting for you to come home when the phone rang. He quickly went and answered it expecting it to be you but it was one of your co-workers telling him that you had fainted and that you were headed to the hospital. He quickly rushed to go see you wondering what might have caused you to faint. That’s when he recalled all the small signs of dizziness and sudden tiredness prior to the incident.

“I should have taken those mishaps seriously. Why am I so stupid?”

Originally posted by jhopies

Jin: When he came home the phone was ringing. He called out your name lazily but you didn’t answer as the phone continued to ring. He’d answer and that’s when his tired state went away in an instant as he headed out to the hospital. It was your sister who had found you holding your sides in pain, crying. When he got your room number he quickly rushed there seeing you. You’re glowing skin looked sickening, your lips had lost all color, everything in you was drained. He couldn’t enter the room as  he watched you tears forming in his eyes.

“Please be alright jagiya.”

Originally posted by jinkooks

Jungkook: You had minor health problems but never too serious to actually land you in a hospital bed. Jungkook rushed to your side as you gave him a weak smile saying everything is ok. But he knew this is something that could be brushed away.

“I’m going to take good care of you. I don’t want to see you like this again and neither do you, right?”

Originally posted by ky-ngsoo

Yoongi: He had turned off his phone when he arrived at the studio and had forgotten to turn it on again when he was taking a break. It was almost 11 at night when he turned on his phone with a ton of messages from your sibling telling Yoongi that you were in the hospital. Everything around him froze as he read the message again and then looked around for a cab. When he arrived to meet your sibling to find out what room you were in. When he saw you in the faint blue hospital gown and the bags of your eyes seemed more prominent.

“Why did I leave my stupid phone off. I should have stayed with her maybe she wouldn’t be here.”

Originally posted by hugtae

Jimin: You had woken up with a pretty bad headache and the both of you didn’t think much of it but when the pain grow worse to the point that you couldn’t even move he quickly rushed you to the hospital. He couldn’t think straight when he saw that they were taking you away to emergencies.

“Could have there been a way to prevent this from happening? She has to be alright.”

Originally posted by vminv

But That’s Where You’re Wrong

Hiya peeps!! This was my first request and I’m so glad to have finished it!! Enjoy :D

Tags: oneshot, that part with the humdrum, angst, fluff, confessions, Simon is an idiot and Baz is very gay

Rating: T

Word Count: 1383

Summary: This starts at the part where the Humdrum shows up in Hampshire and then I go from there. Based on the request, ‘Baz telling Simon he kept him sane’.

Read on Ao3


“Baz!” I scream, whipping around to see where Baz collapses against the ground. I grab my hair and it’s hard to breathe. I can hear the Humdrum giggling happily, and I just barely catch the image of him vanishing into the forest. What am I supposed to do?

The World of Mages expects me to be the Chosen One and defeat the Humdrum. But they grey-eyed vampire lying on the ground needs me to be Simon Snow and keep him from dying. I can’t lose him. Not again.

I sprint over to Baz and fall to my knees at his side, frantically looking him over for any injuries. I don’t see anything out of the ordinary so I press my hand against his chest, watching it rise and fall weakly. I almost cry in relief. He’s still alive, thank magick. But I need to make sure he stays that way.

“Baz,” I say, desperately shaking his skinny body. “Baz, wake up, cmon.”

He doesn’t move.

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Billy React Skam 4X07

Billy’s reaction to seeing Sana cry was very, very pure. “Knowing that one of your best friends is with your crush.. is not a good feeling” yes, Billy. 

*Thinks Sana will hack Noora’s email and do something stupid * I am excited for Billy to see William. Oh god, oh dear god!!

I noticed while watching Billy’s reaction to this season that how predictable season 4 was.I love angst so I did enjoy all the Russ bus drama and stuff but the sudden cop out in episode 8 was what pissed me off the most If they’d made at least 1 more episode to clear everything out… oh, well.

Totally knows there’s nothing going on between Noora and Yousef. #unhinged

Originally posted by ohmymytay

“She wrote about herself?? What Sana is doing is wrong, but she is doing it perfectly.” I loved it, too.

“Girls in this school are like demons. I hope people don’t do this in real life.” Mean girls are ever where Billy, tumblr for one, is full of them.

“Whats the point of the Vilde account then?” beats me, Billy.

Billy, a true Isak stan. Welcome to the club brother.

“Whats the point of the Vilde account then?” beats me, Billy.

Billy, a true Isak stan. Welcome to the club brother.

“Not different on the outside,  different in the inside” Nei, Billy..

“So he started the.. OOOOH! Wow.OK.”

“I think it’s safe to say that Isak is definitely the jealous type, he was jealous in season 1, the whole thing with Eva and Jonas”

It’s a believable reason, I bought it. What I didn’t like is the episode 8 quick fix. That messed me up

“Sound like those buddy film, like a road trip movie. To be fair I would watch that about Isak and Sana.” Us, too, Billy. Us too.

Unintentional Chapter Nine: No Strings

Chapter Summary: You head over to Jared’s place after Misha leaves you a crying mess on your floor. You open up about your past and make an important phone call.

A/N: PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER!!!!!!! And PLEASE feel free to message me if you have any concerns or just need to talk, this chapter does get a little dark for a bit.

Pairing(s): ????

Warnings: DISCUSSION OF RAPE. It is not described in great detail, Y/N talks about it as part of her past. Discussion of addiction, lots of tequila, implied smut.

Word Count: 2.4k


Originally posted by rickdixonandthefandomlifeposts

You tried to keep yourself from hyperventilating but there was no stopping it as you sat there. Tears streaming down your face as you sobbed, the realization hitting you and making it even worse. You ignored the beep of the microwave, signaling that the popcorn was done. You tried to work yourself towards numbness, but you couldn’t. You fucked up, and now you were alone.


By the time you’d stopped crying, the blood on your face was completely dried and it was almost nine o’clock. The only thing that you knew was that you did not want to be alone anymore. You were nauseous from how upset you’d been and had you not been too scared to wake up alone, you would’ve passed out.

You finally cleaned up and changed before doing the only thing you could think of to do; you headed to the liquor store for a bottle of tequila and made your way over to Jared’s apartment. You knocked on his door nervously. You’d been here plenty of times before, so you weren’t nervous about that. You were nervous because you didn’t want to have to explain all that had just happened, and you knew that you’d probably have to.

You took a deep breath as he opened the door.

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anonymous asked:

Sheith - BOM!Keith introducing Shiro to the Dads of Marmora (Thace/Kolivan/Ulaz) for the prompt?

This got sadder and weirder than I wanted it too and i kinda forgot the prompt halfway through, but it’s done! Forgive me, anon.


Shiro had been missing for a total of nine Earth months. Keith was restless. It felt like it did when Shiro had been captured by the Galra. The boy was kind of lost. They couldn’t form Voltron, despite Keith having taken over Black, Lance having taken Red, and Allura having taken Blue, so trying to stop Prince Lotor was pointless. They wouldn’t win even if they wanted to.

The Black Lion didn’t respond to him. They were bonded in the sense that they both loved Shiro, and the fact he was gone made them both anxious, but other than that they had nothing in common. He knew Lance and Allura were having problems with their own Lions as well, because even just flying in formation had become nearly impossible. They needed Shiro.

Keith had tried to busy himself with other things. One of these things, was working more with Kolivan, and the other Blade’s. It took his mind off of the fact he had no idea where his partner was, and it gave him something to do. The others had stopped protesting at this point, but Keith knew they were still uneasy about letting him go on those long missions, given to him by Kolivan himself.

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