i. EROS — is a lover with a burning passion that outshines and burns all others with a fiery flame that in return burns them. It is a fire with raw intensity that could melt pure steel and harden the softest of hearts into the purest of diamonds. Eros is not always that of a true lover, rather sometimes that of an obsessor.
ii. LUDUS — is a lover like that of milk and honey and innocence. Its whispers fainter than flower petals against soft skin. It is a soulmate that burns brighter than the sun whose heart is purer than the whitest of sands. Though Ludus’ love is not raw and passionate and burning. It is a love built on secrecy and promises and trust and toothy grins and nostalgic scents.
iii. PHILIA — is a lover built on blood and dirt and gritted teeth. Philia is the iron in the blood and plasma from which the deepest stars in the galaxy are made of. They are passionate and forgiving and most of all undeniably understanding. A lover that is not easily found, nor a lover that is easily forgotten.
iv. PRAGMA — is a lover that understands with a maturity like no other. Pragma knows nothing of revenge or deep rooted hatred. It isn’t a first kiss or childish crushes. Pragma is a lover with selfless desires and a heart full of gold and warmth and an understanding touch. The bands between two hearts and the long journey to the stars. A lover who is everlasting even when their other half is no longer apart of them.
v. AGAPE — is a lover whose heart fell for strangers on empty buses and midnight train station platforms. The color yellow. A lover of naivety and hope and carefree. One who could only see others as if they were as pure as snow. A lover built of fairy tales and stardust. One who extends galaxies to the ones they love, for nothing in return.
vi. PHILAUTIA — is a lover of themselves. A lover often mistaken for vanity and selfishness. A lover who need not be desired, to appreciate their self-worth. Though they often are desired by many. Philautia is one who only needs the love they give off. They are a lover made of silver stones and a heart guarded by rusted chains.
this banner took me all of five minutes to make pls dont laugh at it
Okay i i reached over 1k followers the other day and i am so shocked??? I love you all so much, thank you so much for following me! Here is a little ff of blogs i love seeing on my dash and amazing people who i love talking too
@steve-hairringtwin ~ without you we would never have the 18+ group chat and i’m forever grateful to you for making it because i’ve met so many amazing people because of it! Also you’re such a lovely person and an amazing writer (if youre not following Jocie youre clearly lost)
@beepfuckingbeep ~ Hannie thank you for literally being a second mum to me all week and for all your lovely tags on the stuff i post, you’re one in a million babe ily!
-BOKUOI ULTIMATE RAREPAIR OTP -actually literally any captains pairing -like. literally anything from more well-known ships like bokukuro and ushioi all the way to ushiboku and oidai im not fuckin around here -also poly captains ok jusT SHIP THEM ALL TOGETHER ALL OF THEM I CANT PICK A FAVORITE SHIP SO GIMMIE ALL THEM AT ONCE -kuroyaku -tensuga theY HATE EACH OTHER ISNT IT CUTE -seijou senpai ot4 -tensemi -semishira -give semi eita more love -kurosuga -oisuga -yahaba/shirabu -ennoaka -actually now that i’m on the subject what about next gen captains poly hmmmm i think im onto something here -kuroaka -bokuakaiwaoi -bokuakakuro -ive probably forgotten a few but i could keep adding to this list all night
so i just hit my first 100!!!!! and i wanna thank everyone for following aaAAA!! cain is a muse very dear & close to my heart & i just !!! wow i was unsure about even making this blog but you guys are all amazing thanks for stickin around!!! (also ive definitely forgotten to list some of the people i follow bUT JUST KNOW I LOVE ALL OF YOU GDI)
first some special messages for a few of you!!
@hisfavored / @vilemagick - TO MY FAVORITE PERSON ON THIS PLANET. thank you so much for existing and bringing light to my life everyday!!! 4 years and countin of us knowin each other and being best friends & i just love you so much you don’t even know. our synergy / soulmate connection is so strong (its kinda spooky sometimes). ANYWAY you’re the reason i even made cain (and also youre the reason i still continue writing so) bless you. i tell u this everyday but i love you!!! (ALWAYS & FOREVER!!!)
@fleuradite - sup dude B) i just met u recently but ur awesome. also we’re so similar its scary??? thanks for sendin me memes & watchin youtube vids with me & also movies!!!! youre lovely.
@thickcrskiin - jynx!! i’ve been following u for years now. (on different blogs. the first time i met u i was still writing andy dwyer LMAO). anyway!! i really admire you and your muse. you’re so dedicated and such a good writer & just…bless
@rottedbared - alec i h8 u. but ur my bro. so do i really hate you???? wHATEVER. anyway we also just met but like you’re amazing & i love hearing about ur ginger B). also i think other alec is hotter than u. u suck. <3
and to anyone that’s ever let me rant or made me laugh or just had a nice conversation with me! i love & appreciate you. i’m not doin so great mentally & anyone that’s ever made me LMAO or LOL or I CANT or ICB or my personal favorite: IASJISDISJ, you’re wonderful and brought some happy to my usually sad. you’ve probably made that day great for me believe it or not!
and now people i didn’t already tag up there!! (note: if i forgot u iM SORRY IM BAD AT MAKING THESE)
probably one of the most difficult transitions im dealing with now that im not as heartbroken about josh is just being so utterly alone. like i try to spend time with my friends as often as possible and pour everything i have into them cause they are he best people and i love them all so much but its like. they all have other people in their lives that are more important than me. which i mean they should and im happy for them if theyve got significant others or someone theyre closer with but i just. feel so utterly alone. im nobody’s first priority. nobody sets up plans with me first. nobody is genuinely interested in the mundane things ive been doing throughout the day. and keeping to myself like this is fine for a while but then i just feel forgotten and expendable. everyone has got other places they wanna be. and im just here
*all individuals mentioned are anti ot8 stans (who paint yixing fans in the ugliest light as bullies and the meanest pettiest exo fans) if you’re an ot8 stan do not touch this xingmi positivity post!
byun baekhyun: the biggest xingmi of us all. a real fan. supports yixing like no other. insider xingmi, the first, the foremost and the best. looks at yixing like the moon looks at the sun. the pillar of support, love and admiration. 💋
@elaysium: mother xingmi when it comes to creation! innocent loving gal with a great blog until she bullies you on twitter! the gifmaker™ extraordinaire #1 + zyx translation team 💞
@laymerence: mother translator xingmi with the cutest crush on … john oliver! amazing resourceful blog amazing gal whos got lots of love and loves kittens also part of zyx translation team. subscribe 2 her channels here for updates 💕
@getlayd: everyone’s first yixing-centric follow blog! the sweetest gal, originator of exo discourse, the gifmaker™ extraordinaire #2, loves kittens, has probably retweeted all of bunnyxing and kittydae’s twitter account 💝
@yixingsmonster: everyone’s literal angel, the purest xingmi, always late to the party, the best yixing-only type of blog but will reblog others for the sake of friends ❤️ amazing girl who gets real sappy in the tags!!!
@yixingsgf: pro memer but in the subcategory (read: can’t be mentioned on a post this pure), the Worrier/Warrior, dangerous on the outside soft on the inside, a+ blog filled w yixing and cute animals (read: puppies!!!) the nicest emo gal you’ll ever meet 💖
@furrybf: the sappy xingmi™ who loves yixing so much her tags are always accompanied by a :( emoji, serial re-maker, an honestly lovely gal whose heart is half for yx half for normani, certified f*rry and has a soft spot for jongdae 💘
@omarixing: the xingmi who gets the most fuzzy and warm and heart-led vocal about her love towards yixing, pretends to not be soft but is actually the softest, a+ blog who isnt afraid of calling out and rationalizing exo discourse, an amazing motivating gal 💗
@yixingkissedsehun: pro-memer, mother of the xingstace movement, her love for yixing includes a lot of tears emoji and happens in surprising outbursts. super funny and sweet gal, the sole reason we all still remember 130818 💓
@1baekxing: the last one standing in the xingmi graphics world, the dramatique™ xingmi when it comes to close friendships. he has the most aesthetically pleasing blog and the softest love for yixing, bold and stands by his opinions, also developing a soft spot for jongdae 💟
@dilaygent: the gifmaker™ extraordinaire #3, the sweetest xingmi, thinks she’s yixing’s wife, amazing content, most likely to release a mixtape of her 3D converted songs before yixing releases his solo album, represents us all on youtube everyone go subscribe here 💛
@j-holy: the neck-loving xingmi, frontline fighter when it comes to xingdae, pro exo discourser, the nicest gal, great blog content! 💓
@creepingcreepingcreeping: the funniest xingmi, amazing blog content, also a certified f*rry, loves yixing and fights everyone for jongdae at the same time. next-level memer, rare kind of xingmi - if you catch her online you’re lucky 💞
@sheepishxing: sweet and innocent, a part of the 1% pure sehunism, the outwards kinda screaming xingmi, good blog content 💝
@chiuyixing: the mysterious xingmi, a one-man-show, our only light in the darkness after the f/y-y/x/ng fiasko 💙
@fy-zyixing: your number one source for yixing updates! the result of amazing teamwork between the nicest and the most selfless xingmi. always working hard and helped us stand back on our feet after several months with no official sourceblog for yixing 💜
@winnersgrl: the original creator of criticize your fave to love him right movement, loves yixing through all of his stages (even the unfortunate ones) even when she says otherwise, the all-loving xingmi, yixing with a mix of winner blog 💕
@bbhzyx: the ALL CAPS kind of xingmi, always screaming about her love, the sweetest, her blog is a great mix content blog 💖
@ace-of-taemin: the no-bullshit kind of xingmi, will try to stir up shit between xingmi but doesn’t actually do it bc she’s too soft-hearted, old and also always late to the party. if you see her online you’re lucky 💘
@2yuehong: the only xingmi with direct contact to yixing. yells in the tags about her love to yixing. the mystic nine changed her game. the cutest xingmi with great content 💟
Hi Emily- I'm 31 years old and never felt so alone. I'm not at all where I thought I would be at this age. I thought I would be married with kids and a success career. Instead I'm in a long term relationship with a guy that I love but I don't know if I'm in love with. I have no other significant relationships other than my parents. I was popular in high school and college but it's like Ive forgotten how to make real friends now. I don't feel like I'm depressed but I also don't feel happy. Help.
I would say there is a possibility you are depressed based on this sentence “I’m 31 years old and never felt so alone”. There’s also a possibility that you’re dealing with a very real phenomenon that we haven’t quite named yet, where you grasp the difference between expectations and reality.
Most of us have some weird age in our heads where we will “have our shit together” or “have the life we want”. It’s supposed to serve as a motivator, but instead, it sets a vague, wispy, ethereal bar that can’t really be hurdled. It sets you up to be a failure, no matter what you’re actually doing.
I would recommend three main things:
1) Reach out to friends. Whether it’s taking a class, volunteering, reaching out to some of those friends from high school or college, or reaching out to people at your job, somehow the misery of human existence is kept at bay by discussing the misery of human existence with other humans… or discussing The Bachelor, or books, or whatever.
2) Get into therapy, not because anything’s wrong with you, but because you need a sounding board to work out where your dissatisfaction lies- whether it be depression, your relationship, your work, etc. Therapists can help you recalibrate your goals and your perspective and set new ones.
3) Stop thinking about where you thought you would be and start thinking of ways to measure your accomplishments in ways that are both larger and smaller. Are you healthy? Do you have a person who cares about you? Are you putting effort into figuring yourself out? What satisfies you in life, and what doesn’t? How can you find more satisfaction where you are lacking? How can you savor where you are satisfied more?