and after all that work too

5

Maybe my dreams were too big,
                      Or my love too strong,
                              ‘Cause, after all, we get what we d e s e r v e.
                                                                         don’t we?

anonymous asked:

So what are your thoughts on a Sterek AU of the Hitman's Bodyguard with Stiles as the Hitman and Derek as the Bodyguard? Hilarious and awesome or should never be written?

Ok, so I have actually never heard of this movie and when I saw the title I was thinking of a more classic concept, Stiles being a hitman sent after some government official/general rich person while Derek was hired to protect them, and Stiles and Derek working against each other and getting into all these confrontations and realizing they are SO COMPLETELY INTO EACH OTHER along the way. 

Their confrontations start to go from dead serious to more playful… at least on Stiles’ part. Derek’s dead serious about protecting his client, of course. He’s more attracted to this man than he should be, and maybe he spent a little too long staring down at him, breaths mingling, that one time he got him pinned. But that doesn’t mean he’s going to let down his guard, let himself get drawn in, and let his client pay for it.

But Stiles has more or less decided at this point that he’s not gonna go through with the job; sure, more money’s always a good thing, but he’s not exactly hurting for cash and he’s pretty sure he’s found a better prize, anyway. Of course he doesn’t tell Derek that right away, it’s way more fun to mess with the guy, and how is he supposed to keep on getting all these stolen moments during showdowns if he officially turns down the job?

(Until his employers finally catch on that Stiles isn’t following through on his contract and sends in someone new to take out his mark… and Stiles as well.)

—–

Ok but then after all of this ran through my head I actually looked up the movie, and this honestly sounds like an amazing Sterek plot. The grumbling hitman constantly insisting he doesn’t need a bodyguard. Hello, he kills people for a living?? and generally making life hell for the longsuffering bodyguard who’s counting down the hours ‘til the trial… Until they’re thrown into their first life or death situation and end up saving each others’ necks, and realize they actually, maybe, sort of need each other.

Also, the movie seems like a comedy but I think that plot could work as an action/drama/angst/romance/whatever direction you decide to go with it. I love it honestly.

Auston Matthews I don’t need a man Pt 2

Thnks to austonmatty34 for requesting a part two! This has been a great distraction from doing my actual school work for a little while

Word count: 1,599

“Hey (Y/N) it’s Auston, are you free tonight?”

You stared down at the message on your phone, you couldn’t believe, after all your hours crying over your ex-boyfriend. You thought you should swear off guys for a while, they had been more trouble than they’re worth lately, but this Auston guy seemed like he maybe wasn’t too bad. But maybe you were thinking more about how good he looked and not who is actually is.

You were sitting in your room with your best friend staring down at your phone deciding what to say back.

“If you don’t go out with him tonight I’m never speaking to you ever again.” she said, probably noticing the confliction on your face.

“But do I really need more guy drama in my life?”

She stared at you like you were stupid, “Um, yes” she replied, “You need ALL of the Auston FREAKIN Matthews drama in your life. It’s one date! Just think of it as a free meal with a cute guy who cares.”

You rolled your eyes and looked back down at your phone.

“Yeah I’m not doing anything tonight”

You looked at the text on your screen one last time and hit send. You let out a deep breathe and laid back down on the bed.

“It’s just one dinner it’ll be fine, just one date” you muttered under your breath.

“You said yes!?” your best friend squealed. She jumped up on your bed and started bouncing shaking you where you were laying.

“Yes yes I said yes!” you said rolling your eyes and sitting back up.

Just then your phone buzzed with a new message, you felt your heartbeat quicken.

“7oclock tonight? Nothing too fancy ;)”

You looked over at your friend and she was beaming at you. “So what should I wear, you have to help me pick it out!”

———————————————–

It was 6:45, you were wearing a brand new outfit, sitting nervously in your room trying to think of ways to kill time before Austin showed up. You had chatted back and forth a few time throughout the day and he seemed like a pretty cool guy. You gave him your address not too long ago and you hadn’t really been able to think or really breathe properly since. You weren’t usually so nervous on first dates but you really hadn’t been on one in a while. 7 o’clock finally came and almost right on the dot, there was a knock on your door. You took a deep breath and stood up, checked your hair again in the mirror, and walked over to the door.

You opened the door to find that same tall, fit, brown haired brown eyed boy you had spent the whole day thinking about.

“Hey” he said smiling, “Nice shirt”

You looked down and noticed it was the same shirt that had started your first (almost) conversation.

“Oh thank you!” you said blushing.

“Ready to go?”

He lead the two of you down your steps and out to his car.

————————

The car ride was filled with pleasant conversation, laughing, and all around a great start to a first date. Auston pulled into the parking lot of a burger place you had never been to before. He got out of the car and rushed around to grab your door, a perfect gentleman. He placed his hand on the small of your back and guided you towards the restaurant. Usually you might have been a little annoyed at someone you didn’t really know touching you, but there was something about this Auston Matthews that made you happy to be touched by him. Once inside, you were lead to a table and sat down, you both ordered drinks and looked at the menu.

“It would make the most sense to order one pizza to share right?” you asked.

“I was just thinking the same thing” Auston replied smiling.

You argued over pizza toppings for a few minutes but decided before the waiter came back so Auston ordered.

“So if you’re not a Leafs fan and you like hockey who’s your favorite team?” he asked.

You couldn’t help but blush a little, embarrassed at the memory of not recognizing one the league’s top rookies of the season. “ Well um I like a couple of different teams and there’s a couple of players I like to watch.”

He nodded taking a sip of his drink. “Not the four goal in his first game rookie though?”

It seemed like he was trying to be serious but you could tell he was holding back a laugh. Your face was reddening but it was as much out of embarrassment but more so from trying to hold in your own laughter.

“Guess it really didn’t make much of an impression on me.” you said playfully, “but that song you have is something else.” It was Auston’s turn to turn red.

“Oh god I was hoping I had found the one hockey fan in the world who has not seen that video.”

The waiter brought out your pizza and your conversation died down a little while the two of you ate. But the conversation picked back up as you finished up eating. You couldn’t believe how well the date was going. He was funny and cute and your conversation was never boring. When the bill came he grabbed it up before you could even pretend to try and go for it. After the bill was paid the two of you headed out, again with Auston guiding you out the door with his hand on your back.

You weren’t ready for the night to end yet and it seemed Auston felt the same because once you were in the car he suggested to do something else.

“Ice cream maybe?” he asked. You nodded in agreement and he headed down the road. It was a quick drive, he parked in a municipal lot and the two of you walked to the nearby ice cream parlor.

“This is my favorite place.” Auston said as you walked in. “They have the best homemade ice cream, it’s one of my favorite cheat foods”

“I can’t wait to try it” you said, you looked down at the glass checking out the flavor varieties. Auston ordered his cone but it took you a little longer to decide. Auston poked your side urging you to hurry up and make a choice. You finally picked a flavor.

“Thank GOD” Auston teased.

You rolled your eyes licking the ice cream on your cone. “Do you want to stay here, or we could go for a walk it’s pretty nice out” you asked.

“That is a great idea!” he paid for the ice cream and the two of you headed for the door.

The ice cream shop was in the middle of a cute little town, most of the shops were closed but many of the lights were still on and it was a warm summer night. The two of you walked down the street, eating your ice cream and keeping up with the easy conversations you had been having all night. Throughout your walk your hands kept brushing together but you didn’t know if holding hands was something he was going to want to do yet. It seemed like he was reading your mind yet again, because he grabbed your hand and smiled at you. You couldn’t help but smile as you finished off your ice cream cone.

You and Auston walked around a little more, holding hands and getting to know each other. But it started to get late and you had work the next morning, but, you couldn’t really be bothered because you were having such a great time. But Auston had an early day too so you headed back to his car, but walking a little slower than you had been earlier. On the car ride back Auston grabbed your hand again, and when you had to let go to text back your friend, he rested it on your thigh. The heat from his hand through your pants gave you a kind of tingling sensation you had not felt in a while. You could feel your pulse quicken but you kept a cool exterior. This ride was a bit quieter than the others had been, but it was a comfortable silence, something you did not experience with very many people.

He pulled up to your apartment building and parked his car. He got out first and opened your door.

“Do you want me to walk you to your apartment?” He asked with a bit of a smirk.

“Um yeah that would be great”

He closed the car door behind you and put his arm around your shoulders. It was a short walk to your building so Auston walked you into your building all the way to your door. You got out your keys and turned and unlocked your door. But before you opened it you turned back to Auston.

“I had a really great time.” You said.

“Yeah me too, we should do it again sometime.” You couldn’t help but notice Auston kept looking down at your lips. Taking the hint, you stepped forward and kissed him. It was a soft kiss at first, the kind that usually happens after a nice first date, but Auston deepened the kiss. Grabbing your waist and pulling you close to him. The kiss was electric and made you feel things you didn’t think you’d feel for a long time. You finally pulled away, a little breathless.

“Yeah we should definitely do this again”  

Diary Of A Pill Taker

“Diary Of A Pill Taker”

I’m losing my memories.
And I can’t see straight.
Because the drugs inside me
Have submitted to fate.

My thoughts are all scattered
With too many emotions
That vary in range
And depth like the ocean.

I should never have started
But it’s too late to quit
Because the drugs inside me
They say are my fix.

They say that these capsules
Have magical powers
And that I should take one
After midnight hours.

And I do as I’m told
Because who am I to complain
When these capsules seem to work
And help me stay sane.

And now it’s too late to quit
Because in a world full of strife
These capsules are my fix
And they govern my life.

anonymous asked:

ooh what about harry has basically been locked up all day in his studio or office doing interviews and the missus has been out and about with their newborn to give him space to do everything and when she finally sees him at night she has like champagne and stuff for him to celebrate and she's just so proud of him and how well he's balancing everything going on

“Where’s our little one?”

“I dropped her off at Gem’s for the night. Your mum and Robin are there too, so, they’re all looking after her. You’ve been working hard all week, and today, we’ve, well, I’ve barely seen you,” she’d explain, snaking her arms around his waist and hugging him to her body, “so, I thought we could have a nice dinner and share some champers and then I thought we could have a bath. Like the good old days.”

He’d look over to the dining table and see wine glasses and place mats set up for a delicious dinner for two, candles lit and glowing away in the room, catching in his green eyes as he’d chuckle down at her.

“M’not exactly dressed for a dinner, am I?” He’d hum, looking down at his attire and smiling; a stained t-shirt on his torso, baggy shorts on his legs, and socks on that were slightly pulled up but slightly bunched at his ankles, “I look like a mess.”

“You look like a new dad, juggling fatherhood and work,” she’d grin, “you’re doing great. Chicken is cooking. Potatoes are almost ready to be mashed. We have some time.”

“To do what? I won’t be able to cum in 5 minutes. Even if it is a handjob,” he’d tease, pinching her hip and kissing her head, “a blowie, possibly.”

“No,” she’d snicker and push his chest, “just want to cuddle you right now. I’ve missed you. Haven’t told you how proud I am, either. We’ve got a new baby and you’ve got a new career. I’ve not told you,” she’d hum and against his shoulder, “you’re doing me very proud, Peaches. Tonight, we’re just going to have a night off from everything. I’m having a night off of motherhood, you’re having a night off of fatherhood and work. We’re going to be teenagers again and we’re going to have a bath and eat our traditional chicken dinner. Me and P went shopping, met some lovely fans, took some pictures and we brought all the delicious bits for dinner.”

“No sex?”

“6 weeks isn’t quite up yet,” she’d sigh, “we can still be intimate though. We deserve some o’that.” xx

anonymous asked:

He doesn't think of you as "once a peasant"! Trust me when I say you've got him wrapped around your finger.

‘’Wrapped around my finger?’’

‘’Is that so. It is a good thing to know then.’’

‘’But still..I am not used with this whole ..’ring the bell and get the food’thing. Being a peasant all my life, I was taught that I should always be the one cooking for my loved one, just like a woman should ,and since I am the one titled ‘the queen’ which is a woman title,I guess that I am the ‘woman’ in the relationship (though I’ll be versatile).It is hard to get comfortable with that and it just felt like I didn’t fulfilled my duty and it saddens me too.After all, I’ve cooked all my life imagining that I can make my lover delicious dishes after he’d come from work exhausted to comfort him.(typical peasant dream)’’

anonymous asked:

Gil had a dad bod no questions about it. I love that dad bod man~

! he DOES. is this before or after the kids. both? maybe a little more after the kid’s born and he spends all his time laying around with them, looking up at toy mobiles and reading stories and napping but definitely before too because why not

this is a good message anon. keep up the great work

platonic-relations06  asked:

Could you do headcanons for Clay struggling with his sexuality and Tony helping him and supporting him? :)

-Clay always knew he liked girls, but it took him awhile to realize he liked boys too

-Clay and Tony have reconnected after the tapes, and have started spending a lot of time together. Tony will be around Clay when he’s all sweaty and working on his car, and Clay is speechless after seeing Tony shirtless

-Clay starts to get kinda nervous around Tony, blushing and really self conscious/insecure; he’s totally crushing on Tony but doesn’t realize it

-when Tony and Brad break up, Clay is there to comfort Tony and ends up confessing about the way he feels, realizing he thinks he has a crush on Tony but is afraid his feelings aren’t real because he was also attracted to girls

-Tony assures him that his feelings are real (and definitely reciprocated) and tells him he’s probably bisexual

-Clay starts to accept himself as bisexual but is still a little unsure about himself, so Tony (who he’s begun to date now) finds a bunch of tv shows and books and whatnot that feature bisexual people and experiences and shows it to Clay

HydraCap/SamCap/Secret Empire/Nick Spencer

Not just white men. White liberals and Sjw types and tumblr folks who we know aren’t so far off from their rightwing brothers and sisters seeing how they treat and react to black/POC characters in movies/TV. 

Both the real and fake America reject SamCap. Nick Spencer is kind of genius. His stories are too real for whites across the political spectrum. 

I never really believed in the America propaganda as an immigrant to this country. I had outside view. 

White sjw/tumblr types meaning women too. This whole evil/hydracap is too inconvenient for their gay Cap who is totally in love with Bucky fantasies.  

You know a story is too real when some fanboys/rightwing/tumblr are all mad about it for different reasons that contradict each other. 

And Native American genocide and every illegal wars that kills millions of innocent people for their resources. 

Kind of like how America works


I wonder how many tumblr/twitter users who are acting all outraged, how many of them took part in the hail hydra meme after CATWS and even had it in their avatars. 

Nah, most whites would just rather see Nick Spencer as nazi and how dare he tell this story now (now is the perfect time for this story although the planning for it happened way before real nazises got elected. Is like they had crystal ball) if they are tumblr type. 

Or if they are from the right, they see Nick/Marvel as PC/liberal agenda driven ruining the white men and pushing black cap. This is anti-america. 

Ideal America never existed. 

Or they can just see Nick Spencer/Marvel as the scapegoat instead of dealing with the real evil in America. Don’t get mad at Nick Spencer/Marvel just because they are holding up a mirror to America and Americans don’t like what they are seeing in the mirror. So let’s naturally attack whoever is holding the mirror than deal with what it is actually showing you. 

Please Read <3

I haven’t posted in awhile and I owe you all an explanation, currently I am struggling a bit with balancing my time. It’s been difficult to get college work done, find a job, spend time with my family and friends as well as making time for myself so I’m sorry that Tumblr has received the least amount of attention.

With that in mind I have decided to go on semi-hiatus until my exams are over, I will try to post wherever/whenever I can but as of now it doesn’t look too good. Hopefully after exam season I’ll have more time and my writer’s block will also of faded so until then stay groovy everyone <3

I will try to be on here as often as I can but if you really need me I also have a second blog (@franks-sandcastle) where you can contact me, I’m also willing to give out my social media accounts too if you ask for them off anon.

I love you all very much, thank you for sticking with me and supporting me even through times like these

- Jamie <3

anonymous asked:

Julia even said that Britt "single handily" nursed Dylan back to health after his accident.. if she supposedly did that, then explain why she left the hospital a week after filming just to work or hang out with her friends while he was in dire need of support.. literally he was in emotional and physical pain when he got hurt and she didn't give too fucks about it

Julia tries so hard to make sure everyone know Dylan and Britt are together and it’s weird. Like honey, it’s not your relationship to defend. Britt is selfish and pathetic. That’s all there is to it.

2

4/19/2017 3.11 miles
And Taekwondo, too!
YTD: 394.56 miles
474 days in a row

The other day I saw a post in a Garmin Fenix 3 Facebook group about a new feature available in Garmin Connect, that it would track* strength/lifting workouts. So I gave it a try on Tuesday.

Verdict? Too much of a pain. I dutifully hit the lap button before and after every set thinking it would use those laps to figure out work/rest periods, but nope. I actually had to scroll through the lap history on my watch while I hand edited the time on the website, and selected each exercise for each set and entered all the information in manually. Interesting to see my heart rate, though. I may continue tracking it.

So I was motivated to setup a Taekwondo activity and actually wear my heart rate strap for a class, thus the picture above. Love the change in elevation throughout the class :)

And then I got out for a late run afterwards, and forgot to take a picture.

* As explained, for some values of “track”.

30 years of songs - age 10

dc Talk - In the Light

My dad was a planetarium director/professor at a university for several years while I was growing up. I fell in love with the planetarium and with outer space, which wasn’t unexpected considering that my dad was dedicated to passing onto his kids the wonders of astronomy and of science in general, and had started teaching me how to recognize constellations when I was tiny. He still tells the story of carrying a very small me in from the car to my grandparents’ house late one night after a long day of traveling — I stirred, blearily looked up at the breathtakingly brilliant country stars, and exclaimed in wonder, “Pegasus!” (I actually remember this — Pegasus was my favorite. And not too hard to recognize, as it’s primarily made up of four bright stars in a big rectangle.)

The planetarium was our family’s own special world. I loved going behind the walls with my dad, seeing all the inner workings and controls, and generally running around like I owned the place. I saw Star Wars for the first time in the planetarium, a magical experience. I then had a number of outer-space/Star Wars themed parties there myself. I helped give presentations to school groups on the mythology of the constellations, using my stuffed Pegasus and other “buddies” as props. I laughed and laughed at planetarium shows like “Larry Cat in Space” (where he goes to the “mewn!”) and was awestruck at the hauntingly beautiful “Cowboy Astronomer.” 

The planetarium was in the science building on campus, and it was like a second home. There was a fountain out front that glowed like rainbow sherbet at night; I loved scaling its walls. Inside, near the entrance, was a large 3-story pendulum. We’d wait with bated breath for it to knock over the next wooden block, mesmerized as it slowly swung back and forth, back and forth, marking the time. At one point I did a science experiment on lunar craters by dropping marbles into a tray of pudding from the balcony overlooking the pendulum on the second floor. Also on the first floor was a hallway full of various specimens; taxidermied owls and foxes, butterflies and beetles, frogs in jars of formaldehyde, and even a horrifying shrunken head (I always tried not to look at that one). On the second floor was Dad’s office, and in the hallway outside of it, there was a rock collection (largely my dad’s doing) on the wall, with several particularly unique specimens, including carbonite — you guessed it — a Han Solo in carbonite action figure. We thought that was the most hilarious thing ever.

Unfortunately, the science building was also home to a particularly nefarious type of specimen: mold. Over time my dad ended up getting really sick, so sick that after four years he had to quit his job and have sinus surgery. We all moved in with my grandparents in Missouri for two years while he slowly recovered. (More on that later.)

But while it was ours, the planetarium was a thing of deepest joy to my sister and I growing up, and a vastly important part of my family’s lives. 

My favorite planetarium memories of all are of sitting under that wide twilight dome with my family. Dad would turn on some favorite songs, start up the projector, and set the stars spinning across the virtual sky, and we’d listen and gaze in wonder at the intricate dance of the stars, in awe of God’s creation, tears on our faces from the beauty of it all. This song was one of the ones that accompanied the whirling stars the most. It became really special to us all.

age 0 | age 1 | age 2 | age 3 | age 4 | age 5 | age 6 | age 7 | age 8 | age 9

Best way to get started with spirit work: Talk to plants (No I’m serious. Talk to them.)

So I talk a bit about my spirit companions all too often and to be honest, it’s still a very new experience to me and I’m still learning a lot about it. I’m also learning how to travel astraly (which I’m getting a little better but still need a lot of practice). And I’m sure some of you have been wanting to get into it and don’t know how. But I’m about to share with you the best thing I’ve learned about trying to communicate with spirits:

Learn to communicate with plants first.

And here’s why I say this:

Imagine a hedge that separates you the physical plane from the astral plane. And to be able to get to the astral plane and talk to the spirits and astral beings on the other side, you have to get on the other side of that hedge. How do you do that? You can’t cut down the hedge; and you can’t walk right through it. You could probably find a way to go over it but that takes a lot of work. So what’s the easiest way to get there? 

By befriending the hedge. And how do you befriend the hedge? By becoming a friend to all plant life.

Plants have a presence in both the physical and astral realm. You see a tree here, you’ll see a dryad in the astral realm. You see flowers, you’ll see their spirits. All plant life, big and small, make up the hedge. They border on the physical and spirit worlds and are the gatekeepers. They let those who pass who they feel are worthy. If you befriend them, they’ll open a path and help you. They’ll guide you and teach you how to work in both existences.

And to be honest, they have a lot to say if you just listen to them. The tall trees have been around a long time; they have stories to tell. The flowers love when you notice their beauty. The grass will teach you things from their perspective. Just get in touch with nature!

Befriend the animals too. They coexist with them and they coexist with you (when we’re not hurting them with our destructive human nature). The plants look after them, and if they see that you care for all forms of life, they’ll start to see you as a friend.

If you can learn how to talk and listen to the plants, then you’ll learn how to talk and listen to spirits. After all, in order to befriend the dead, you have to befriend life; no matter what shape or form it comes in. Even if you’re not a green witch, this will really come in handy.

anonymous asked:

Yo could you share some of your headcanons for the deh kiddos :O ?! I'm really curious!!

*cracks knuckles* HEADCANONS UNDER THE CUT (these are generally feel-good and going off of a Connor Lived And Everything Gets Better AU set of ten [+ one extra] headcanons for the kids where they’re all friends)

Keep reading

Dating Zach Dempsey Would Include...

Originally posted by joeck

Requested to do the ‘dating Zach Dempsey would include’ but with a booknerd fem!reader :)

 

- Getting to see how smart Zach is, everyone thought Zach was under average when it came to smarts but when you start to date him you find out just how smart he is, not in the stereotypical Asian guy can do any math way, he was terrible at math but he was an A+ bio student and knew more about marine life than anyone you’ve ever met.

- Hand holding lots of hand holding, Zach is big on holding hands whether it’s while you’re walking to class or under the table during lunch or even at the library while he stands patiently next to you as you take your time looking at all the books, you don’t mind all the hand holding since your hands are always cold and Zach’s much larger ones are always so warm and soft.

- Going on dates to the aquarium, your favourite place to go to on weekend dates is the aquarium, you like watching all the fish swim around therapeutically and you love watching Zach’s eyes light up as he sees the aquatic animals he’s usually reading and studying about in textbooks.

- Cuddling on cold rainy days, Zach is a massive teddy bear when it comes to cuddles, he loves to be cuddled and also loves to be the cuddler and when it’s a cold rainy day that’s the perfect time to sit on the couch and watch movies while cuddling each other.

Keep reading

What’s wrong with me?– Jeff Atkins x Reader

Request: Can I request a Jeff imagine me where he’s been asking you out for a while now and you always turn him down? So one day you hear him talking to clay about how it’s actually starting to hurt him a bit cuz what’s wrong wit him? And his jock buddies give him shit and tease him about which upsets him so you shock all of them by going up and kissing him which leads to a hot makeout and ask him on a date.

Words: 2703

Enjoy it!

Reader’s point of view.

Your name: submit What is this?

I smiled looking at myself through the rearview mirror. I loved when my mom had the day off, that meant I could get the car to school, save me the monotonous and disgusting bus rides. It isn’t as if my mother went out to have fun, her days off from work, she is doing yoga in front of the TV, it wasn’t too much that the “coach” was too attractive. I shivered and concentrated on the road, until that point I was already entering the Liberty High parking lot. The disadvantage of bringing the car is that I mistrusted and was late, something that wouldn’t happen if I were traveling in the yellow device. Now finding a parking lot would be a challenge.

After a full turn, I finally find a decent place, not so far but not so close to the door, perfect. Before maneuvering to enter that space, a car closed the way and got into MY place. I stepped on the brakes and glared at the bold.  I knew the car perfectly. Instead of staying there, I found another place to two cars away, from that to stay grumbling. Yes, I was too lucky.

“Are you serious, Atkins?” I raised my voice after getting out of the car and hanging my backpack over my shoulder.

Jeff was walking toward me with a big smile and fiddling with the keys of his carriage. Asshole.

“This becomes a danger zone every morning, Y/L, you would know if you brought your car every day”

“Funny”

I started to walk with him to my side. We were in the same course, connected in our first year, we were good friends, maybe I could even consider him my best friend, it’s not like I had many in high school. Most were either useless sportsmen, or just people who weren’t worth it.  He was taking me with a few, especially since Jeff was very close to them, almost entering his social circle. They were not bad guys, but somewhat immature for my taste. Sometimes they made me laugh.

“So I heard that this new movie will be on Saturday … Let’s go together?”

Yeah, we were good friends though Jeff was determined to change that. My friend was attractive, too much to admit, but my mind was somewhere else to focus on a boyfriend. In addition, our friendly relationship worked perfectly, we sometimes studied together, I was going to see him at his baseball games, and I even stayed after school with him and Clay for his tutorials. I could come and go as often as i wanted and he did that too. We were perfectly fine, why did we need a label? What if “being dating” didn’t work? All those years of friendship would go away. Just to think about my last months in this institute without the company of my best friend, to be avoiding it by the corridors and to meet us in uncomfortable looks, left me the sensation to be without air. No, I wouldn’t let him lose it for a silly etiquette.

“How on a date?” I remembered that I hadn’t answered him.

I turned to look at him and he smiled in embarrassment. Jeff Atkins was never embarrassed. He was the most honest and funny guy on the whole site. If I didn’t know Clay Jensen, I would sign with blood that Jeff was the only one. Everyone else behaved more like idiots.

“Yes?” His answer sounded more like a question. Well, he left the decision to me again.

I sighed and settled the backpack as a reflex act.

“You did a good swing, Atkins, but I’m sorry to say you got a strike”

He raised his eyebrows and I smiled, wanting to erase the rejection I had given him. It hadn’t been the first, but sometimes I felt like the bad in this relationship. Our “dates” were reduced to exits between friends, and that was because I was in charge of enlisting Sheri with us and him, usually Clay. At one time, we invited Hannah, but lately she was walking in her own world, feeling the tension only to approach her. Too bad, it turned out to be a really fun girl.

I increased my pace. We didn’t have to stay together in the hall, our first period was different, while he was killing himself in history, I had to endure the headache of algebra. I also needed help but no one threatened to get me out of a team simply because I didn’t belong to any. That was how it was.

“Are you serious?” The good thing about my best friend is that he took rejections with grace. “You are very rude to me, Y/N!”

“I see you at rest!” I shouted at him in response and unconsciously stepped up. I never let him see guilt in me after an Olympic rejection.

At lunchtime, we took our usual table; Clay kept his eyes on his task that ignored our mini meal fight between Jeff and me. He made me eat one of his fries, but they were too greasy for my liking. Thanks to that, we didn’t go unnoticed, neither by his companions as for the rest of the school. Suddenly, I noticed how his teammates were passing by and said things to Jeff that I couldn’t grasp, used as keys that I didn’t understand. I looked at Jeff who looked down for a few seconds before turning to see me and smiling as if nothing.

“What was that?”

“It’s nothing.” He grabbed his backpack and stood up. “See you after school, Jensen?”

For the first time, Clay looked up and nodded. Jeff said goodbye to both of us and left in the opposite direction to his companions, I frowned even confused; it was incredible how my friend’s mood changed in a few seconds. I bit my lip and pushed aside my tray of food, strangely I was without appetite.

“What’s wrong with Jeff?” I asked. Clay knew him as well as I did.

The boy shrugged and looked in the direction where our friend had disappeared. I said goodbye to Clay, especially since I had just seen Hannah Baker enter the cafeteria. Jeff and I had a plan, before we graduated, we had to get these two to have something. They were too shy to approach the one and the other that we decided to intervene, rather I joined the cause, because it was a kind of deal between the two men. However, it was difficult, I was going to take care of Hannah, but she was very distant, I couldn’t approach. I sighed and left the cafeteria. I’d waste my time in the locker.

I doubted if it would be a good idea to interfere with the tutoring hours of my friends, I don’t know what was different now, if I always did, but my best friend’s behavior was too strange after the cafeteria. It made me panic to approach him. Among my doubts, I ended up in the school library, if I wandered around maybe in the end would encourage me to approach your table. I ended up on one of the closest shelves, Jeff and Clay seemed to be talking about something that didn’t look like tutorials since neither of them looked at their respective books. I went a little closer, covering my face with a book chosen at random. I pretended to read it.

“Jeff Atkins, asking me for advice on relationships?” I listened to Clay with humor. “The deal was supposed to be that you would help me with it, not the other way around.” I lowered the book a little to notice my best friend with his eyes on Pencil playing between his fingers. I went back to cover “I was paying my salary in the Cresmont that you would never go through this”

I bit my lip, afraid to know now what they were talking about, or rather … of whom. I repressed the book down again.

“I don’t know what else to do, dude.” Jeff’s voice broke my heart, but why? “She’s not like the other girls I’ve dated, it’s a challenge, but not that kind of challenge.” I started to consider whether it was a good idea to stay or not to listen, but my feet were stuck.

“Don’t stop trying” Clay encouraged.

“I don’t do it. I invite her to go out and it is always the same result: No. “I fear that someday she will get tired and send me to the devil”

My blood ran cold. They had not yet pronounced my name but knew perfectly well that they were talking about me. My hands began to tremble.

“I don’t think so. You two make a good team. It’s hard to see a Jeff without Y/N, or a Y/N without a Jeff” I glanced over and watched my friend smile. I did too. It was true; we could complement us in an incredible way.

I watched Jeff’s profile, again thinking away from his friendship, made me feel short of breath. I couldn’t imagine my life without having met him; he managed to understand me, my problems, my follies and occasionally my pessimism. The random memory hit me on a Saturday that taught me to hit, I could feel his body on my back and his arms around mine, even his hands on mine to help me hold the bat well. It had felt good, I didn’t have the imperative need to get away like when Bryce Walker tried to get too close to me. That guy gave me a very bad spine. Instead, with Jeff, I sometimes needed to have him close to feel that I breathe well, that everything is going its natural course. There was no Y/N Y/L without a Jeff Atkins, it couldn’t, and there was no consistency. It was like going against nature. My heart sped up and I hid my face again between the pages.

“Clay. What is wrong with me?” I had a gasp, only a few verbal rejects, at no time I distanced myself from him, after my negatives we were as normal as ever. Nothing had changed. I had the need to jump and give him a zap, Nothing was wrong with you, Atkins, you’re amazing, the best guy I’ve ever met! But I stood still with the lump in my throat.

“Nothing, dude. Let’s go back to your history essay, you need to distract your mind”

I listened as he agreed to the idea and I moved from shelf to the place where they didn’t see me. I put my hand to my chest and inhaled deep breaths. Why did i feel like crying? Maybe because Jeff didn’t notice the way I did, what could be wrong with him? He was a committed boy, especially now that his position in the team depended on his qualifications, attentive, pleasant, he isn’t of those who believed in rumors … and above all, he was an excellent friend of Clay and mine. How could there be anything wrong with that? Why cann’t you see yourself as I see you? I bit my lip.

“I saw you” Jessica came out of nowhere and gave me the shock of my life. She started laughing “Spying on people’s conversations? That’s too much for you”

I rolled my eyes.

"I guess I couldn’t help it,” I murmured.

“I heard them, too. I’ve never seen Jeff that way; he always has a smile on his face."I nodded to the cheerleader’s words. Suddenly, she started to laugh "Don’t you realize, Y/N?” I looked at her strangely “He’s in love with you! The whole institute knows this, obviously everyone, except you”

“We are good friends”

“So? That doesn’t take away the feelings, the question here is, Are you in love with him? ”

I was silent, I opened my mouth to answer her but I couldn’t, Why couldn’t I? I should deny it, but why didn’t i? Jessica Davis smiled.

“Do I confess something?” I waited quietly. “The way you look at Jeff, is the same way I look at Justin. Think about it. "She winked at me before leaving.

If my best friend’s words had left me frozen, Jessica’s words hit me. I looked over my shoulder toward the boys’ table, was I in love with my best friend? As I would know, I had never fallen in love with anyone in my life.

I ran as if my life depended on it to the baseball field, simply because my friend’s fool had forgotten his bat in the car and I as a good person i was, and because I knew the combination of his locker to get the keys, I did him the favor. Anyway, at home I was expecting some of those Mom’s smooth naturist, I wasn’t very excited to return soon. Before giving me sight in front of the team, I heard the boys howling and booing. I stopped and looked out, Jeff was in front of them, pretending to have difficulty raising the zipper of his sweatshirt. As I perceived quickly, they were making fun of him.

"Give it up at once, Atkins.” One of them said. I frowned. “You’re losing your good reputation for just one girl”

Not again, please. I pressed the bat in my hands.

“Let go and pass her, I assure you that I get an appointment with her long before you,” another of his classmates boasted. I was getting angry.

How could it be that they messed with him for some nonsense? I was nothing special, why did they all talk as if I were some sort of trophy? I looked at Jeff, he was still focused on his feigned task, but the gesture on his lips told me that he was having a bad time, so I got sick, it couldn’t be that my fear of losing him by spoiling everything with a label, So much harm to him. My eyes filled with tears, but I didn’t cry, instead, I smiled and walked resolutely towards them.

“Eh!” Shouted one of them with joy.

I didn’t look at any of them, my eyes were on my best friend’s, wanting to pretend he was more than okay. I didn’t stop until I felt my lips against his. I dropped the bat to our side and wrapped my fingers in his hair pulling him closer to me. His response, in the first place, was that his mouth was sealed by surprise, when he caught what was happening, he joined the same rhythm as me, bringing his hands to my waist. I didn’t part until the shouts of joy of his companions became present.

“Damn!” I recognized the voice of the one who at the beginning bet that I would go out with him.

I looked into Jeff’s eyes and smiled broadly. This kiss, which at first wanted to taste something, simply felt good. I began to feel that I was complete, even though I thought I had been before.

“I thought better, why wait until Saturday? Let’s have a date now.” My best friend’s eyes shone, I felt an extreme happiness inside, not for him, for me. “Oh, better, did you tell me that your parents are not going to be home all day? How about a bit of Netflix and chill? ”

His friends laughed, he too, but a little more shy.

“Come on.” He took my hand firmly.

“Boys” I gave a single glance at their companions, they began to cheer and push, like vile apes.

I laughed and looked back. When we lost sight of the team, Jeff stopped and looked at me even in shock.

“You were serious?”

“About the kiss or Netflix and chill?” I couldn’t stop smiling.

“Both of them”

“Now I know that I’m sure of the kiss” I bit my lip “Of the other, of course I was serious, a little more seriously in the chill part”

Jeff’s smile was the biggest i had ever seen. My heart skipped a beat.

“Then I drive. Later we’ll get back for your car”