and a total kinda babe moment

Pre- Christmas 2019 | 4

Taylor stirs slightly and suddenly opens her eyes. She feels warm hands and warm water surrounding her until she finally realizes where she is.
“God..” she murmurs disoriented and holds onto Adam’s arms a little tighter than before.
“I honestly fell asleep. In the bathtub.” she determines laughing at herself. He smiles quietly as well and kisses her head that’s laying under his, right on his chest.
“You did.” he says quietly, moves his big hands in slow circular motions over her belly.
“How long was I gone?” she asks and yawns.
“Just fifteen minutes perhaps.” he says and Taylor nods. Suddenly Adam feels a strong movement under his hands.
“Oh my..” he can’t even finish his sentence because he feels someone kick against Taylor’s bump once more. His wife simply giggles a little, takes his hand and presses it onto another part of her belly where she can feel her baby kicking again.
“She’s saying ‘hi daddy, what’s up? I’m also awake now’..” Taylor says and makes Adam smile like a little boy. It’s just in these moments that he can really really believe that there’s a human- being in Taylor’s stomach. A human- being that he created with her.
“It’s so fascinating..” he whispers, doesn’t even think about removing his hands for a split second.
“When you were sleeping, she was so still and now you’re awake..”
“..and she’s starting to throw a wake- up party in there again. The usual.” Taylor says and laughs a little, just like Adam.
“Here.” she says once more, grabs his hand and holds it onto the side of her belly.
“This is her head. She just turned around a few minutes ago.” Taylor says quietly and Adam just takes a deep breath. He could cry because of happiness. He can’t even explain how it’s possible that his heart skips a beat whenever he thinks about Lily even though she’s not in his bump but in Taylor’s. He can’t explain why he loves this little girl already so much when he can only feel her through Taylor’s skin sometimes. But he does. All he knows is that he does.
“Adam? Can we talk about something?” she asks then and moves a little bit out of his arms. He looks at her and how she moves in their big bathtub until she’s sitting in front of him. Now he can finally see her beautiful face again. He appreciates her natural beauty a lot. Especially when she’s sitting nakedly in their bathtub and looks at him with her bangs that are a little messy and her big eyes that simply look at him. She looks a bit tense, he can clearly see that.
“Sure. What’s wrong?” he asks gently and places his hands on her soft arms. She just looks at her hands and plays with the foam in between her fingers a little. He can’t help but smirk a little. This is her typical behavior when she’s about to talk about something uncomfortable with him.
“Babe..” he says and reminds her to talk. She looks at him and takes a breath.
“Ok there’s two things we need to talk about. The first thing..” she says and looks for words.
“Well, remember when I showed everyone Lily’s room yesterday?” she asks and Adams nods.
“Well, everyone loved it. Of course. But.. I don’t know. I mean, I know that it takes a lot of money to get all those high quality products when it comes to a baby. But I don’t know, I just…” she says as Adam interrupts her quietly.
“Babe, what are you talking about?” he asks, couldn’t quite understand what she tried to tell him.
“Well, your mom was really impressed.” she murmurs. Adam still doesn’t understand why she looks a little down while saying so.
“Oh god what did she say?!” he suddenly asks a little off. Taylor just shushes him with her hand on his scruff. The last thing she wants is him being angry about something his mom never said.
“No no, babe. She didn’t say anything! I just.. I just had a feeling and I want to ask you for your opinion.” she says. Adam still looks confused as hell at her.
“Ok?” he asks.
“Do you think we splash out too much money for our baby?” she then asks him straight out.
He looks at her for a few seconds and then sighs annoyed.
“Seriously, Tay. What did my mum say?” he asks again. It there’s one thing he really doesn’t want then it’s his mum making his heavily pregnant wife insecure about any decisions.
“No, Adam. She didn’t say anything. You know that. They.. they just were so impressed about everything.” she says obviously uncomfortable, still sitting naked in front of him.
“About what?” he asks, still doesn’t really get the essence of what this talk is all about.
“The size of the babies room. The beach window front. The bracelet.” she continues.
“The bracelet?”
“Yeah, the one you got me last week. With the little diamonds..” she explains. Adam simply looks at her and slowly starts to smirk. He understands now what all of this is about. Taylor always tries to maintain in balance between living a life of someone who made more than a hundred million dollars and someone who knows that money doesn’t grow on trees. He admires that about her a lot. It shows how grounded she is, how her parents raised her.
“Well, I wanted to give this diamond bracelet to my wife. That’s on me. Why are you uncomfortable about it?” he asks, looks at her. He slowly strokes a hair strand behind her ear that has just fallen off of her little braid.
“I’m not uncomfortable about it. I just.. I don’t want our families to think that we’re just two superstars who have totally lost their normal relation to money. I don’t want them to think that we splash out money and go crazy and raise our daughter like a little rich kid.” she says, clearly upset. He just stops her and strokes over her arms.
“Baby, why do you think they’d think that? Because you have renovated a room in this house beautifully? Or because you got all baby equipment just like you dreamed about? Don’t you think that’s what other mums do as well?”
She sighs.
“I know that. But.. I don’t want to raise Lily like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like a millionaire’s daughter. I don’t want my daughter to run around L.A as a teenager with designer handbags, being arrogant as fuck and not knowing that people have to work for that kind of stuff.”
Adam just sighs. She clearly over exaggerates again.
“Do you think I want to spoil my kids? There’s no fucking way. I had to work my fucking ass off to be where I am today and so did you. This is part of who we are. And Lily will grow up with that knowledge. And making sure that our kids have exactly what they need is not a crime. That’s what all parents do for their kids. But instead of investing our money into designer handbags for a teenager, we will make sure that she.. I don’t know, goes to the best high school in this country. Gets the best education possible. I wanna splash out money for stuff like that.” he says and Taylor nods, lost in her thoughts.
“Babe where does all of this come from? Did Sophie make a rude comment?” he asks, knows his sister too well to not know that she can sometimes be a little moody.
Taylor shakes her head again.
“No, not at all. They were just so.. so impressed how you spoil me.” she says and a little smirk forms on her lips. She knows that this was exactly what he wanted to hear. He smiles and comes closer to kiss her.
“I love spoiling you.” he says and kisses her again. “You can’t ever stop me.” he adds and makes her laugh a little.
“Baby..?” she asks in between the kisses.
“There’s something else we need to talk about..” she says then. He pulls back.
“Oh boy, what else?” he laughs and she hits him playfully in the side.
“This is serious, Adam.” she says and he waits patiently for her to start talking.
“Ok, so.. I’ve been thinking a lot today about giving birth. And I talked with mom and Sophie about it a lot. And.. you know how scared I am.” she says, grabs his hand and intertwines their fingers. She really hopes that he’ll support this decision of hers.
“I know..?” he asks.
“Well.. the most important thing for me is that you are there with me. I just want us to be together in the delivery room. I need you more than ever there.” she says and he smiles and kisses her once more.
“I’ll be there babe. You know that.”
“Mhm.” she says and takes a deep breath. He looks at her confused. Is she seriously nervous to tell him something else?
“What?” he asks and she bites her lower lip.
“Promise me you won’t be mad. And please think about how fucking scared I am and that I need all the support I can get in this situation.” she says quickly. He doesn’t say anything because he didn’t get until now what she tried to say.
“I.. I think I want my mom to also be in the delivery room with us. I.. I know that Lily’s birth is going to be such an important moment for you and me and I promise you that we will have this moment. But.. I could really use someone in there who has gone through this already and whom I trust and who can also try to calm me. She won’t do anything, just sit in this room and..”
“Babe.” he interrupts her laughing. He has to admit, he was kinda scared what she’d tell him now. But even questioning her decision is totally irrelevant for him. He knows that Andrea is besides him the most important person for Taylor. He also had the thought the other day that having Andrea with them would might calm Taylor a little.
“This is totally fine with me. You are the one who has to push the baby out of her vagina and I think we need all the support we can get in this situation.” he says and Taylor just smiles and nods. She places her hands on his scruff again and pulls him in for a kiss again.
“Thank you. I was so terrified to ask you. I thought you’d might not want..”
“Tay, I want what’s best for you. Ok?” he interrupts her. Taylor just smiles shyly and nods. She feels Adam pressing a soft kiss onto her forehead.
“Let’s get out of the tub babe. I think Ashley and Kayla will come soon.” he says as Taylor looks at him in shock. She covers her mouth with her hand.
“Oh my god, I totally forgot.” she says. Adam, who has gotten out of the tub by now, just looks at her and smirks.
“God bless the pregnancy- brain.” he jokes and helps Taylor get out of the tub again. She wraps herself in the towel he just handed her and grants him a smirking look.
“Shut up.”

“Oh my god he is so precious.” Taylor says excitedly for probably the hundredth time and looks into the stroller that is standing in the middle of their living room. Everybody had dinner by now and Kayla, as well as Ashley and her baby boy have arrived in Los Angeles.
“Yeah, he is.” Ashley smiles from the table and looks at Taylor who’s standing in front of her baby with a huge bump. A funny picture.
Suddenly a very loud and clear babies cry fills the room. Taylor looks at Ashley who was just talking to Alison a few seconds ago.
“Should I .. should I take him out?” Taylor asks a little insecure and looks at Ashley again. She just smiles and nods.
“I think he’s just moody again.”
Taylor takes a deep breath and grabs the little baby to take him out of the stroller and press him against her chest.
“Hi baby..” she whispers and holds his head carefully. Everyone is looking at her now, still deepened into their conversations. Andrea smiles and grabs her phone to quietly take a picture.
“Aww, look at you, mummy.” Pamela smiles as well. Adam just watches the whole scenario. He smiles quietly to himself. Seeing her with a baby makes everything even more real to him.
“You better get used to that view.” Scott jokes who was just talking to Adam about his upcoming birthday over a glass of red wine, when the cries of little Brady interrupted them. He pats his back. Everyone laughs. Adam gets up as well and walks up to his wife who is quietly standing in front of the window with the little baby boy.
“Brady, look! Who’s coming there? It’s Adam.” she whispers to the little baby in her arms. He’s really calm now, seems to enjoy Taylor’s company.
Adam places his hand on her back and smiles at her.
“You two look like you’re having fun.” he says and watches how she stands right in front of the big window fronts, looking outside with the little baby boy while admiring the L.A. sunset. She looks so comfortable, so naturally with him. Slowly swaying back and forth and making sure the little man is pressed tightly onto her chest. The little babies feet are pressed against her big bump, that clearly in in the way. He places his hand on her shoulder right in front of him and presses a soft kiss onto her temple. She looks so natural without any make- up. She simply is nothing less than a beautiful masterpiece.
Taylor smiles and presses her nose into Brady’s chubby cheeks.
“We are. He is so cute. I can’t let him go.” she says dramatically. Adam laughs, still standing closely next to her.
“You two could trade baby’s in two weeks. Then you can keep him.”
She looks at him ironically.
“No way. Can’t ever let my baby girl go.” she mumbles and makes Adam laugh. He kisses her temple again for a second.
“I was joking, Tay.”
“I know.” she answers and looks at Adam again.
“Do you wanna hold him?” she asks and tries not to show her excitement.
“Sure.” he says boldly. Taylor hands him the tiny baby and Adam carefully holds him on his chest. This is the moment she’s been waiting the whole night for. She knew that seeing him with a baby would make everything even more real. But she never thought that he’d be so courageous to just hold him without any hesitation.
“Hi buddy.” Adam mumbles. Taylor just looks at him in awe. He sees her smirk and smiles.
“Looks good on you.” she says softly. He smiles. She walks back to the table.
“Guys look how cute those two are.” Taylor says and everybody smiles at Adam with the baby. Taylor quickly takes a photo with her phone as well.
“I honestly cannot believe how cute this is.” she mumbles and everybody smirks.
“That’s good practice Adam.” Sophie says proudly to see her brother carrying a baby. It looks really funny actually - a huge man with a tiny baby on his chest.
“How does it feel?” Andrea asks him with a smile on her face. She can’t believe that he will carry her first grandchild soon.
“Feels good.” he smiles a little insecure and sits down next to Scott and Taylor again with little Brady on his arm.
“Great job, babe!” Taylor says excitedly. She never would’ve thought that Adam would be so natural with a newborn. He carefully grabs his little head with one hand and holds him with the other to be able to look at Brady’s face.
“Hi mate. How are you?” he asks the little baby and makes everyone smirk. Taylor, who’s sitting next to him almost can’t contain her excitement to see her husband with a little baby. She has never been as excited about having a baby as she is right now.
Brady starts to smile at Adam. He laughs.
“Oh my god he loves you.” Ashley smiles and everyone looks at Adam and Brady in awe. Taylor places a hand on Adams hair and caresses him proudly.
“You just made a new friend, babe.” she says jokingly. Adam slowly hands him to Ashley.
“He knows what’s good.” Adam smirks and gets a kiss from Taylor. She then gets up again and slowly walks into the kitchen.
“Guys, are you ready for dessert?“ she suggests and receives a mixture of excitement from the kids and sated sighs from the rest of the table.
“I’ll help you, Sweetie.“ Andrea answers and slowly walks up into the kitchen as well. She finds her daughter standing in front of the kitchen table with her black skinny jeans and her black- and white striped top. Andrea just wanted to ask her something about the recipe when she notices how Taylor painfully holds her belly.
“Are you okay?“ she asks worried and walks up to Taylor. She just pulls a face with pain but nods slowly. She placed on hand on the counter in front of her and the other one on the downside of her belly.
“Yeah. She’s.. she’s kicking like crazy all day. Really hurts.“ she mumbles under pain. Andrea still looks at her concerned and places a hand on her bump.
“Oh my goodness. She’s a rip- killer.“ Andrea laughs, could clearly feel the strong kicks under her hand. She places her other hand on Taylor’s back to comfort her. She motions small circles with her hands on her back as well as her belly and smiles silently. That was until she looked at Taylor’s face again and determines how her daughter is still under immense pain.
“Still not better?“ she asks a little worried. Taylor doesn’t really answer, just holds herself in front of the counter and tries to get through the strong kicks. “Deep breaths, honey.“ Andrea says and Taylor does so. “Are you sure that those are just kicks, Taylor?“ Andrea whispers quietly so that the rest of the family won’t be aware of the current situation in the kitchen. All the laughter and noises from the living room seem far away from here. It’s a little more quiet which certainly is a good thing for Taylor right now.
“Yeah, I’ve.. I’ve had that already. It can get so intense sometimes.“ she says, still feels Andrea’s soothing motions on her belly and back and slowly relaxes.
“Are you sure? That looks a lot like a contraction to me, sweetheart.“ Andrea says slowly. Taylor takes a deep breath again. It seems to have gotten a little better. She stands up straight again and draws circles on her bump a few times.
“No, I can just feel her kicking like crazy. Sometimes she just lays upside down inside my belly and catches an ankle to kick that hurts as hell.“ she answers and takes a deep breath. Andrea does so as well and laughs.
“I was really worried for a second.“ she answers as Adam suddenly stands in front of them. He definitely felt a little buzzed after the third glass of red wine with Scott and was therefore just about to get some water in the kitchen. His jaw drops a little as he sees a pale version of Taylor standing there, taking deep breaths.
“Everything okay here?“ he asks and walks up to her.
“Yeah, the murder- kicks started again. But that’s it.“ she assures him exhaustedly. He just sighs relieved and kisses her head shortly.
“Sorry, babe.“ he says sympathetic.
“I’m okay.“ she says quickly, trying to convince herself and helps Andrea get the dessert for everyone.

He wakes up and looks around the room disoriented. Everything is dark except for the light of Taylor’s night lamp.
He turns around slowly and sees her sitting upright on their bed. Both hands on her belly.
“What..what’s wrong?” he asks. She looks terrified. More than ever before.
“I.. I think I have contractions.” she mumbles. Her hands are shaking. He can clearly see that. After less than one second, he sits upright in front of her as well.
“Really? Oh my god.” he says, doesn’t really know what to do after being awake for less than a minute.
“I.. I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep and suddenly I felt this.. this incredibly strong pain in my belly. Just for a few seconds. Then it was over.” she says with a shaky voice. He can feel her fear. He smiles and kisses her forehead softly to reassure her.
“Did you have it again? Or just once?” he asks her.
“Just once.” she says terrified.
“Ok, let’s run you a warm bath and see what happens.” he says. Taylor nods. Adam smirks at her.
“Don’t be scared baby.” he whispers and kisses her lips.
“I try.” she says quickly. He gets up and starts to turn on the water. After a few seconds he gets back into the bedroom to wait for the water to fill up the whole tub. He sees Taylor sitting on the edge of the bed wearing nothing but his shirt and her slip. He can clearly see her on her face that she’s under immense pain as she holds onto her belly desperately.
“Is..are you…contraction?“ he mumbles concerned and panicked and knees down in front of her. She just nods. He can clearly see that she’s in a lot of pain.
“Deep breaths baby.” he says and places his hands over hers that are right on her belly.
“Fuck.” she mumbles and tries to breath calmly.
“You’re doing this so amazing.“ he says quietly, can only hear exhausted breaths and the running water from the bathroom.
“Over?“ he asks then as she literally collapses into his arms. He kisses her head, feels her shaking hands in his.
“If this is what giving birth feels like I wanna kill myself now.“ she sobs quietly. Adam’s heart breaks. He really hopes that she’ll calm down slowly.
“Don’t say that. Let’s wait. Maybe those are just preliminary contractions.“ he says calmly. She pulls back and nods. A little tear is running down her face. He wipes it away and kisses the spot on her cheek then.
“Do you know at what time you had your last contraction?“ he asks and gets up to take a note on his phone.
“I.. I think it was around 1.53 am.“ she says slowly, still holding her belly.
“What? That long ago? It’s 2.36. Babe, why didn’t you wake me right afterwards?“ he asks a little mad. She clearly feels that.
“I.. I first tried to fall asleep again. But.. I just got so scared all of the sudden so I..“
“Next time, I want you to wake me right away. Okay?“ he asks and takes a deep breath. She just nods, stares into nothing and sighs. Adam walks up to her and grabs her hand.
“C’mon now. Let’s get into the bathtub. If the next contraction comes in less than fourty minutes, it means that we’ll have to go to the hospital.“ he says excited and a little scared as well and they both enter the bathroom.
“Don’t say that. I’m about to have a panic attack.“ she mumbles and undresses quickly. He helps her get into the bathtub for the second time today and helps her lay back again. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
She hates nothing more than that.
“Is your bump still soft? Or hard?“ he asks, remembering what her gynecologist told him about contractions once. She presses onto her bump and looks at him in shock once more.
“Oh my god, it’s so hard. Adam, feel this.“ she says. He puts his hand into the water right onto her baby bump.
“Yeah, definitely.“ he mumbles. He takes a deep breath as well and closes his eyes for a second to calm himself. She looks at him and stays silent, only to part her lips  again. “Are you scared?“ she whispers into the night, breaking the nervous silence between them.
He opens his eyes again and looks deeply into hers. He then smirks a little and places his hand on her head. He strokes over her messed up but soft hair.
“Of course I am. I’m more excited though.“ he says. She nods. “Me, too.“ she sighs, her hand never leaving her belly.
None of the two knows what to say in this moment. Adam seems totally lost in his own thoughts while waiting for something to happen. So does Taylor.
“Remember when met for the first time in London.. when Ellie introduced us and you poured your scotch over my purse?“ Taylor suddenly asks him. He looks at her a little confused but laughs then as well.
“I do. Last one was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life though.“ he answers. She laughs too in memories of this unconfident but handsome man in a suit who made her laugh through the entire night.
“Who would’ve thought that buying me to a drink would lead to a marriage and a baby.“ she smiles silently to herself, knowing far too well whose quote she changed a little here. She looks at him. He smiles happier than ever and grabs her hand. He doesn’t say anything, simply kisses her hand for a few seconds.
“I’ll never forget this moment.“ he whispers then. She looks at him a little surprised but smiling as he starts talking again. He fixated one point on the wall with his eyes while holding onto her hand as close as possible. He’s usually not the type of man for big words. But right now, he seems as emotional and fragile as her.
“When you stood there with your green dress and your bangs flipped onto the side. And when we talked through the entire night, I was immediately so freaking much in love with you.“ he says quietly. She giggles, remembering this amazing moment.
“And when we broke up three years ago, I dreamed of this moment every single night.“ he adds.
She suddenly looks at him confused.
“What? I didn’t know that.“
He looks at her and grins. He gets closer to her and kisses her softly.
“That’s actually what told me deep down inside that you were so good for me. That having you in my life made everything better and that I would really have to change myself in order to ever have a chance with you again.“ he says.

August 2017

“Wow, what’s all this?“ she asks confused, stands in front of his coffee table with a glass of wine and notices the huge stack of books.
“Oh, that.. uhh, yeah I just found this book and it was really interesting so I started reading another one and..“ he says cooking from the kitchen, a little insecure about the fact that she has found his books.
“The Success Principles - How to get from where you are to where you want to be..“ she reads, “The Happiness Advantage - The seven principles of positive psychology that fuel success..“ she continues. Adam doesn’t really reply as he places the two plates on the big marble table in the kitchen. He knows that there will definitely come one or another comment about his choice of literature this evening.
“Wow, that’s interesting to read.“ she comments, can’t really believe that he seems to have tackled himself for the first time since she knows him.
“Yeah, it’s.. well, it’s all a long story.“ he says. Taylor came closer into his kitchen again by now and sits down.
“Well, tell me.“ she says and smiles at him. He sits down in front of her as well as Taylor, who looks at the delicious plate of food in front of her.
“Wow, thanks for the food. I actually didn’t mean to invite myself to stay for dinner after recording, but..“
“I’m glad you did, Tay.“ he simply says. She smiles silently and then starts eating.
“Okay, I truly missed your skills of making a good chicken fajita in the last year.“ she says, enjoying his self made food as much as she did back then.
“A man needs at least one meal he can cook on his own to survive alone. That’s what my sister told me when I moved out.“ he jokes. She laughs a little.
“So tell me that long story, Adam.“ she says hesitantly after a few minutes of awkward silence. He looks into her deep blue eyes and sighs.
“Well..I..I usually don’t like talking about this because it’s so personal. But you are.. I mean, we…we know each other very well, so..“ he mumbles as Taylor starts laughing a little.
“Don’t tell me you’re a member of Scientology now.“ she says with a full mouth. Adam starts laughing, just like her.
“No worries. I.. I just started analyzing everything a lot since October, November last year.“
“Really? What?“ she asks happy to have a nice conversation with him and sips on her wine glass.
“What went wrong. How the woman I was sure to marry someday could ever leave me. I mean.. how I could ever become a person who..who looses his one great love. I just found that..that there had to be something fundamentally wrong and I didn’t understand for so long what the real reason was.“
“And.. and what was that?“ she says a little insecure after his words. He doesn’t look at her anymore, seems to be too ashamed to face her by now. He quietly eats his dinner as he starts talking again.
“My own dissatisfaction with myself, with my life and everything surrounding me.“ he says and then slowly looks at her. She seems a little speechless. His honest eyes make her knees go weak.
“I always tried to cover up my.. my deep insecurities and my lack of self- confidence with anger and jealousy and.. simply was a negative person most of the time. And I am sorry for that, Tay.“ he says, slowly looks into her beautiful face again. He can’t really read her face, keeps on talking anyway.
“Well, I.. I just got this book from my brother. It’s called ‚The Law of Success’ and I read it and.. well, one thing lead to another and so I just worked on myself a little and changed some small things. And the great thing is that.. I found that those small things are actually big things and so.. yeah. You know the end of the story.“ he says. She smiles a little surprised about his honestly.
“So that’s why your book is called ‚small things‘?“ she asks. She racked her brain over the title for weeks, still never felt emotionally able to read it. When the news got to her, Taylor was more than surprised. Him. The man who was never truly interested in literature and words as much as she was, wrote a book? She found some reviews on the internet, saying that this book truly is a life- changer. That ‚Adam Wiles‘ was ‚able to motivate people in starting all over, changing themselves and their way of living a passive life into living an active one‘. That he no longer hid behind Calvin Harris and that Adam Wiles himself was so much stronger and successful than he gave himself credit for in the last thirty- three years. This book simply is the story behind his success. When she heard about him donating money to charities (something he always admired her for doing but never got active himself when they were together), writing a book and then starting his own record- label, she knew that he had gotten to the point where she always wanted him to be - being the best version of himself. She always saw all that in him. The ability to work hard, to be smart and soft. To help himself by helping other people. His book does all that. She knows that, even though she never had the balls to read it. Maybe because she was too afraid to find herself in those lines. To read his point of view, that might crack up all her beautiful memories of when they were in love.
“Yeah, exactly.“ he mumbles and looks at her. She simply smiles at him with this look in her eyes. This look he knows too well.
“And so I.. I started doing the things I really wanted to do my whole life. And it felt great.“ he laughs. She smiles again, tries to not stare at him too obviously. She can’t believe seeing him like this. It gives her chills. This happy, bright man in front of her with his chic white shirt and the smile on his face and especially in his eyes. She remembers seeing that smile in his eyes when they first started dating, back in 2015. It was then, when they realized how much they loved each other and things got complicated.
“You look happy, Adam.“ she says softly.
He smiles and nods.
“I am.“ he says quietly, looks at his wine glass. She has finished her dinner by now and so has he. None of the two really knows what to say.
“Your book was a huge success, huh?“ she asks then.
“Yeah, it’s amazing. I wrote it right after i had my own record label last year. You know, when things started rolling. And somehow this book gave me so many other ideas of what I could do with my life and..“ he looks at her. She looks at him so addictive. She simply is addictive. The look in her eyes makes him open up more and more.
“What ideas?“ she asks excited.
“Well, remember when I dreamed about opening my own gym someday?“ he says. She looks at him in disbelief.
“Oh my god. Did you..“
“Well, it’s still in the planning process. But I don’t want it to be a regular gym. I want it to be a place for personal- coaching. Mentally and physically. I want people to truly believe that they’ll grow stronger in there. And that doesn’t just include their muscles.“ he explains.
“Adam, that.. that sounds amazing. This.. I’m so proud of you.“ she says. Her last sentence truly touched him. He looks at her and she just shakes her head in disbelief. If she compared this man in front of her with her grumpy ex- boyfriend, she would truly think that those are two different people. She is so proud of him. Not just because of what he achieved - but because of what and who he became during the process.
“Gosh, Adam. I feel so guilty that I didn’t read your book until now. It’s just that.. to be honest, I was a little scared that..“
“No, no. That’s actually a good thing. Cause I still got a special copy for you.“ he smirks but feels his shaky hands. She looks at him confused but laughs.
“What? Wow!“ she says as he gets up to grab one copy of his book from the shelf in the living room.
“There you go.“ he smiles. She looks at the minimalistic cover. Small Things. And his name. Her little heart feels like exploding because she’s so proud.
He sits down again and looks at her smiling. She’s silent. He knows why. He takes a deep breath.
“This.. this will probably be the cheesiest thing ever. But.. I wanna use this chance to say sorry.“ he says then, chokes one time. She looks up at him in shock, really doesn’t know how to react now.
“I wanna say sorry for.. for not treating you like you deserved to. For not prioritizing you over everything else in my life. That’s what I should’ve done and I didn’t, so.. I wanna say sorry for that.“ he finishes.
She looks at him and takes a deep breath. She looks back at the book in her hands and then back into his beautiful face.
“It was worth it, Adam.“ she says, means more than just this book. And he knows that.
“Well, I’m gonna go downstairs to quickly make you a copy of the track we wrote today.“ he says to quickly end this conversation. When she came over into his studio this afternoon to work on a new song, just like friends do, he never expected things to get this personal. She just nods and watches the tall man disappear downstairs. She looks around. She can’t believe that he has changed so much in the most positive way possible. After praying for months and months that he would finally see what he does to her with this dark side he sometimes had inside of him, she never thought that it would come to this. That losing her would finally make him find his way. She looks at the copy and flicks through the book. He finds one of the last pages with the headline „Thank you“. Taylor starts reading his thanks to his friends and family. All those little stories make her laugh a little. She turns the page and her heart stops beating. That’s what he meant when he talked about his ‚special copy‘. The very last page.

Dear Taylor Alison Swift,

Who would have thought two years ago, that a drink at a bar with a girl at three in the morning would turn my life around like this?
People used to say that we were like can and pot. Perfectly made for each other. I like to believe that we were both pots, encountering and crashing each other all the way. Our relationship was never easy, though I have to admit that those fifteen months with you turned out to be the most important months of my entire life. Even though I never succeeded in showing you, I want you to know that at that time I could have never imagined someone else by my side than you, regardless of all pointless fights and tears of jealousy we spent.
I want to thank you for believing in me when I did the least. You stood by my side when my life steered into a dangerous direction and you still loved me. You never allowed me to waste my talents and you kicked my butt when necessary. Lastly, you walked away. Thank you for that, too. It takes a loss sometimes to realize what’s good and what isn’t. I know now that you were good. And I wanna thank you for that. It makes me proud to still call you a friend and I’m proud that we snatched up nevertheless. For everything that has been, and everything that will never be: Thanks for your unique personality, your inspiring bright attitude, your ability to make me laugh at any given time and your love.
I’ll always love you more than anything,


Adam Wiles.

Taylor closes the book. Tears are rolling over face and she tries to take deep breaths to calm herself again. Never in her entire life has she felt this feeling. The feeling that you found what you were looking for. That some things need time to grow and get into the right place. She places the book next to her empty plate and takes a deep breath again. She wipes her face and stands up to slowly make her way downstairs…

“And when you did, you made me the happiest person in the world.“ she smiles at him. His big hand is on her big belly again and she smiles at him. He gets closer and kisses her softly.
“I love you.“ he says into the kiss. She smiles.
“We love you, too.“ she answers. He kisses her again.
“How long has it been since the last contraction?“ she asks then after he has ended their kiss. He looks at his phone and smiles.
“Almost fifty minutes. I guess you really just had preliminary contractions, babe.“ he says. She nods a little relieved and takes a deep breath.
“I’m glad. Having the whole family in our house and delivering a baby would be too much at once.“ she sighs. He laughs.
“True.“ he says. “Tell Lily to stay in there at least until tomorrow.“ he laughs.
“I think she already listened to her dad.“ Taylor replies. “Let’s go back to bed.“ she says then but Adam stops her.
“No babe, I think you should still wait a few moments. Just to make sure.“ he says. She smirks. His overly protective side is annoying but extremely cute at the same time. She looks at his big teddy bear eyes and places a hand on his cheek, right over his scruff. He looks concerned and stricht at the same time. He really wants her to wait a little more to make sure those really were just preliminary contractions. Taylor rolls her eyes but nods.
“Fine.“ she says, lays back again.
Adam looks at her and quietly caresses her head again. She looks so natural, so beautiful. He comes closer and kisses her hair.
“I was so proud of how you handled those contractions, babe.“ he whispers. “If I would have been in this kind of pain, I had already started crying after the first one.“ he says to comfort her and make her feel better. She smiles.
“Let’s not tell anyone about the preliminaries tomorrow okay?“ she whispers. Adam nods.
“I don’t want everyone to worry too much.“ she says to him.
Adam nods.
“Me neither.“