and a lot of us see these things every day and never think of them

iwasapruneratfaverolles  asked:

PLEASE TELL THE CHILDREN THE STORY OF MS. STUBELS

Grace fuck, why would you invoke her name like that???

Okay, fine, gather round children, buckle up because we’re going on a bumpy ride back to everyone’s collective least favorite place: 7th grade.

Some background: I went to a very small Catholic school. One class per grade (we were the largest with 19 kids), everyone knew each other whether they wanted to or not. Despite basically every teacher and faculty members insistence that we were The Best And Most Special Class In The School and that everyone loved having us, the longstanding 7th grade teacher Mrs. O’Hara decided to retire in the summer of 2008, meaning the school had to find us a new teacher for the upcoming year. This would be like, the first new teacher in the school in a while, and as she was getting the ‘best class’, it was viewed as a Big Deal. Somewhere in like July or August we got a letter announcing Mrs. Stubel, and it came with a list of books to pick for the summer reading, and that was basically all the information we had.

So…the first day of class. She seems nice enough. Very…ditsy, I guess? It was very easy for her to get herself off topic while talking. She constantly paced around the room, never staying in one spot for longer than a second, complaining she has restless leg syndrome. Which like, I’m sure she did, but she was in the middle of introducing herself and then went on a 20 minute tangent about restless leg syndrome without anyone prompting her. It was almost like you could see her scattered thoughts flying around her head.

So anyone, she eventually gives somewhat of an introduction- she had only taught in public schools before, and kept worrying she ‘didn’t know’ how to teach in a Catholic school despite the entire class insisting literally nothing was different, you just teach the curriculum, twice a week we have religion class with Sister Mary King, that’s literally it (she still talked over us in worry), she told us about her kids, she told us about her obsession with Emily Dickinson, stuff like that.

And then she hands us this worksheet.

She’s like, “Oh, these are just some basic questions for you to answer! Just so I can get to know you guys better!” like in lieu of an icebreaker game, which is fine, but…the questions. The questions were all “What is your most haunting fear?”, “What is your deepest regret?”, “Have you ever experienced the pain of loss?”, “What was your worst injury?”, “What was your worst nightmare?”, all questions like that, and then on the back she wanted us to draw a gravestone and write out what we wanted our epitaph to be.

We were twelve year olds, mind you.

Oh my God and one girl missed the first day because of her grandmother’s funeral, so when she came the next day and saw what the teacher was insisting she do for homework, she almost had a panic attack? And the lady still made her do it? Literally who wants to think about death anymore at a time like that omfg.

Okay, so then we get to the summer reading book reports, right? Now, she had given a list of maybe, 20 books that you could pick from, read it, and then present an oral report on it. You had to have notecards and you had to be able to answer questions from the class at the end. All in all, I’ve had worse projects.

So, on this list, she apparently put Madeleine L’Engle’s entire book series on the list…only she did not make it known that this was a series and not multiple stand alone books, so when reports started up it caused mass-panic of kids trying to put together plot points and make connections on what the hell they had read.

I was the only kid in the class who had chosen to read “A Wrinkle In Time”, and that has since lead to a series of events that…really actually scares me, I’m still incredibly freaked out, I’m not going to get into it right now because it’ll take away from the current story, but just know that I’m not above wondering if it only happened because I read the book for Stubel.

Anyway, so like, I got through the report okay. The class asking questions about it was fine, but the teacher kept asking questions that didn’t make sense, like, at all. My friend Angie has always had super neat handwriting and Mrs. Stubel got like, obsessed with her notecards and asked if she could borrow them for something. When we got our grades back a few weeks later, Angie had points taken off for not having notecards.

And then her teaching just…didn’t happen. She’d never stay on a topic, she’d always get herself distracted! We were not learning anything. And like, this wasn’t a class of advanced smart kids that loved to learn. By all accounts we should’ve been thrilled. But it got out of hand. It got to points where we had to start teaching lessons to ourselves, asking teacher from other grades for help, always coming home in tears, complaining constantly to our parents and the principal because this woman wasn’t teaching us anything. There were two kids who asked her multiple times for extra help, and she told them each time to ‘talk to me after school’, but then she’d leave immediately after school so they wouldn’t be able to talk to her. They finally brought up the issue in the middle of class and she had a breakdown, yelling about how nobody ever thinks that maybe the teacher has a lot of work to do, and maybe she’s entitled to taking off early, but when we tried to argue she shouldn’t schedule meetings and then break them off in the name of relaxation, she stormed out of the room and tried to get the principal to give us detention. (Which, like, our school didn’t even do, and she was the only one in the wrong during this situation) We are still in September at this point, and already at least ten kids have parents considering transferring them to another school. (And remember, there was only 19 of us, and most of the class had been together since preschool, so that was a big deal).

Then, she starts coming in with all the weird bruises. All the Moms™ immediately started gossiping that her husband had to be beating her, and that’s why she was so screwy in the head. But the way she talked about her husband made it seem like he *might* be dead, and we actually did witness her fall and smack her head into a doorknob once, so no one really knew what to believe. (Also, I’m not trying to imply that abuse would make someone crazy or ‘damaged’ or anything, this is just what was being said. I think they were trying to turn her into a more sympathetic character, because if you feel sorry for her you don’t have to hate her for frustrating your kids so much, and Hate Is A Bad Emotion.)

Also…this woman and Emily Dickinson.

She talked about Emily Dickinson every chance she could get. None of us knew who Emily Dickinson really was before she got there and you could see in her mind it was a capitol offense. She found out the curriculum didn’t have room to cover her (because like, we had a text book), and was way too upset about it. She started reading her poems whenever she found the time (usually somewhere in history class), and always gave us very detailed accounts about her dressing up as Emily and reading her poetry at the library.

Now, two things to note here:

  1. The library did not hire her to do this. She would literally just get in the mood, put on an Emily Dickinson costume that she made by herself, drive to different libraries, and just read poetry out loud to everyone there until someone eventually asked her to leave.
  2. The way she described these events…her tone, the look on her face, her posture…you could just tell that she was getting some sort of sexual gratification out of this? Like dressing up as Emily Dickinson in public and reading her sad poems is really what got this lady’s jollies rocking? Got her all hot and bothered? Which is…a lot, but why would you tell a bunch of seventh graders about it holy shit. What about that sounds like a good idea! What about that turns you back on!

So anyway, we learned a lot about Emily Dickinson against our will.

One of the Davids™ was reading a book for pleasure- which shouldn’t have been a shocker, a lot of kids always had books on them, but Stubel got really interested and asked if she could borrow it from him. He was like ‘sure, after I finish it?’ but she took it that day. He asked her for it back for like five weeks straight.

And…the strudels.

Okay, so the school was trying some dorky thing to promote ~togetherness~ or some virtue or something, I don’t remember the specifics of why, but each class had to make a huge themed poster and hang it on the wall outside the classroom. Which was like, whatever, not the most thrilling project but at least it allowed us to be productive vs just sitting there as the teacher runs about the room rambling about her family vacation from four years ago. Mrs. Stubel decided we needed a quirky nickname and after like three days of deliberation we were christened “Stubel’s Special Strudels”!

(points for alliteration or whatever, but no one actually voted for that and what exactly do strudels have to do with Catholicism? It became a big running joke amongst the kids)

Also, in case you were wondering, she didn’t explain the assignment correctly to us- so every other class had like these beautiful, artistic, well-themed and put together posters, while ours was just…literally a bunch of shit thrown together on paper. Nothing fit with each other, it was literally embarrassing to look at.

But then…she wouldn’t drop the strudel thing. Like she kept bringing it up. She got really into strudels and would just tell us random shit about them. Finally, someone jokes that we should get strudels one day for a party (like instead of a pizza party), and she’s Freaking Out and On Board. She really wants to buy us strudels and have a breakfast party now. She talked about it for like two days straight.

So like… you know in school when you would have a pizza party, usually the teacher would buy it? That’s how they always happened in my experience (not counting the last day of 10th grade when some kid had pizza delivered to the school for lunch but it didn’t get there until math class lol). But especially in grade school? Like if it wasn’t a PTA made party that’s super organized, the school would buy the food, right? Right?

Yeah, so she was like, if this is happening you guys need to give me the money. Just give me the money and then I’ll pick them up on my way to work!! And after some arguing some kids are on board. Strudels should only cost a couple dollars right?

And she’s like, oh no, I’m gonna get them from this high end bakery near my house so it’ll be special, but they’re not cheap and it’ll be a big order! I’m gonna need like fifteen dollars from each of you!

And at this point I’m just like…lady. Come on. 

But she keeps insisting. She’s not gonna go until every student in class pays up.

And I’m like…I’m poor. I don’t even like strudel.  And some of the less-naïve kids are siding with me.

And then she pulls that “you guys are just spoiling all the fun for your classmates” shit, like the naïve kids who already paid up, so it gets to the point where we just gotta cave and give her the money.

(I ended up stealing it out of my Crazy Bitch Aunt’s wallet so it’s whatever, I guess.)

And then of course, shockingly enough, every morning she was met with “where are the strudels?” and every morning she went wide eyed, slapped her forehead and yelled in embarrassed horror “I totally forgot! Tomorrow, guys, I promise!”

Honestly, with how scatterbrained and confused she always was…like to this day I can’t tell you with 100% certainty whether she hustled us or was just actually forgetting about the damn pastries, I choose to lean towards the hustled us side because that’s just the type of people I’m used to, but if I found out it was innocent forgetfulness I wouldn’t exactly be surprised.

She couldn’t handle more than one person talking at a time. Like, we’d have break periods, or group work, or something and all the talking made her go wide-eyed and batty. She’d look overworked and anxious and would be darting around the room trying to do work or something but she couldn’t focus and she’d yell at anyone who tried to talk to her directly. I remember one time she was using this boys desk for something so he asked “where am I supposed to sit?” and she snapped “Sit on the ceiling for all I care!”. And this kid was the Class Clown™ , so he immediately grabbed a chair in one hand and started climbing the bookcase to try and reach the ceiling. She’s standing right next to this and doesn’t even notice. He got all four chair legs planted on the ceiling and was trying to somehow maneuver his way into the chair (I really don’t know what the plan was exactly- he was really tall and it was a small building, so I think he probably had the idea that if he can get his body upside down and in the chair, and stretch out his arms like a hand-stand to hold onto bookcase, he could arguably sit on the ceiling.) but he slipped. Crashed into my desk and the two desks next to me, knocked over the book case, broke the chair in half and hit the desks with enough force to knock them down lower. It was hilarious. Everyone was loosing their shit cracking up (he was fine) and it still took Stubel like five minutes to notice his lying out across the desks right in front of her eyes. She was pissed but how did she miss any of it in the first place? She was barely being helpful in whatever it was she was trying to do.

This was the year the Phillies were going to the World Series, and all the grades were having a Phillies Rally in the cafeteria so a news crew was coming to the school and each class was supposed to come up with fun little cheers for them to broadcast. Multiple cheer ideas were presented to her and she vetoed all of them, someone even suggested just singing the damn eagles theme song with replaced words and calling it a day but she vetoed that too, she was very adamant that she could come up with a cheer all by herself and it’ll be the best one (whoever had the best cheer was winning like an ice cream day or something idk). And then like…literally five minutes before the rally she just hands us signs with the letters and was like ‘we’re just gonna spell out Phillies it will be cute won’t it my strudels???’. We were the weakest class there, predictably. I think we lost to the kindergarteners. There might still be a video online of me yelling “ i “ passionately at the top of my lungs. It was online bc our cheer was so bland the news crew cut it out of the broadcast.

I literally can’t say enough about how she never taught us anything. She’d be going on some tangent about how she doesn’t understand the science behind skiing, and I’d be like “Okay yes but please can you just tell me where Romania is on a map???” And she’d start fights whenever someone actually wanted to learn. It was so easy to get her angry but so hard for her to stay on topic. Kids started teaching the class themselves! Like seriously, she’d be rambling and one of us would just go up to the podium, open the teacher’s guide textbook and just start reading out loud and talking over her. By the time she noticed we’d be halfway through a lesson. And we understood it better than when she tried! You know something’s wrong when pre-teens are more qualified for a job than an adult who supposedly went to school for this.

We were in the church having run-throughs for our upcoming Confirmation and she almost set the church on fire…fifteen different times. In less than half an hour. How hard is it to hold a candle?

Okay, and here’s when stuff starts kicking up. It was October 28th, a Tuesday, and it was our last day of school that week because they were having parent-teacher conferences the rest of the week. So we were just hanging out, watching movies in class and reading (lord knows we weren’t learning), and Stubel calls me over to her desk.

So like, she had given everyone little bags with candy for Halloween, but I get up there and she hands me an extra one. And she’s like “Molly I know your birthday is tomorrow and I bought you a present but I left it on my coffee table this morning by accident! So just have the candy for now!”

And I’m like….”Ma’am I’m like, the sixth birthday this year. You didn’t give anyone else presents?”

And she goes “Oh, I know but this is a special secret surprise. I just know you’re gonna love it! Do you wanna stop by my house later this week to pick it up or should I just give it to you Monday after school?”

And like…In writing this sounds like a non-threatening exchange, and like, it was, but I felt so uncomfortable holy shit. I’m looking over my shoulder and shooting my friends SOS signals. Something about this felt so weird in my gut omfg. I told her thanks and I’d just see her Monday.

So we flash forward to Wednesday- my 13th birthday, the day the Phillies won the world series, and also the day my mother innocently strolled into the school for her meeting only to be met with screaming, the sound of heavy destruction, and the school secretary Mrs. Daily running at her in a panic, waving her arms and yelling “YOUR MEETING IS CANCELLED YOUR MEETING IS CANCELLED GET IN MY OFFICE NOW!”

So my poor mother, who thought she could handle this whole meeting in a few minutes and barely be an hour late for work, is now barricaded in the front office with the school secretary, as the noises from down the hall get louder and louder. The woman explains that they had gotten so many complaints about Mrs. Stubel that this morning, when she got to the school, the principal Sister Patricia called her in and said “Listen, we need you to be professional and still have the parent conferences, but we have to let you go. We just don’t think you fit in well here, and the kids need to come first and feel comfortable in their school.” and like, I’m paraphrasing because I wasn’t there, but we all know she was very polite and professional about it.

Mrs. Stubel, however…was not.

She flipped her chair and stormed out of the office, and locks herself in the seventh grade classroom. She started wrecking the shit out of that place, screaming obscenities and the top of her lungs, they had to call the cops on her! She was locked in there for almost an hour! And let me just give you a nice little list of everything she did in that classroom:

  • Smashed three windows.
  • Threw everything off her desk and carved swear words all over it.
  • Got cleaning fluid that she knew would damage the chalk boards, smeared it all over.
  • Cracked the chalk boards by repeatedly smashing chairs against them.
  • Wrote swear words all over the walls and on desks
  • Went into students desks, ripped up their books.
  • Stole my glasses. (which were in my desk bc I only used them in class at the time)
  • Threw some desks around.
  • Carved swear words into the boards. (there was so much carving I’m assuming she just had a knife on her person, which has to lead to the question, did she have a knife on her while she was in class with us?)
  • Physically ripped the hooks to hang backpacks on out of the wall.
  • Knocked the closet door off it’s hinges.
  • Ripped up all the books in the bookcases and threw their pages all around the room.
  • Wrote lewd phrases inside student’s desks.
  • Broke multiple chairs.
  • Used her podium as a battering ram against the wall that’s in front of where the backpacks go. (the wall won but Damage Was Inflicted)
  • Set a fire in the trash can.
  • When the principal and other teachers started trying to get in, she tossed her rolling chair at the door to scare them off.
  • She was screaming curse words at the top of her lungs the entire time, and cursing the school and the kids and the principal and the church in general, and the school building was small, so all the parents and the smaller children that had to come to the meetings (who were locked in their respective classrooms in fear) heard everything.
  • So much more? But it’s 4:30 in this morning and this list is already long.

So my mom is in the front office and deadass the

entire police force

shows up, running down the hallway to the classroom yelling at her to stop, and it takes a while for them to get her out holy shit. They knocked down the door and she tried to escape out of one of the broken windows! But they got her and dragged her out.

So of course, in such a small school with very involved parents this shit spread like wildfire. The entire town knew within the day. The poor principal called the newly retired old-seventh grade teacher and was like “So we…need some help” and the lady was like “I already heard I’ll be there Monday” omfg. I remember I got a text from one of my classmates saying “if your birthday wish was for us to be set free from the beast I love you” omfg.

So, we eventually go back to school on Monday and everyone’s buzzing. The principal has us go to the cafeteria and she ‘delicately’ explains the situation, and that the old teacher is coming out of retirement for us, the school has a restraining order against Mrs. Stubel now and that she’s sorry we had to deal with this mess. Our classroom had to go under some heavy reconstruction before we could be let back in there, so for like two weeks we alternated between the cafeteria and the preschooler’s classroom, we had no books or anything, just provided loose-leaf paper and pens. It was like, surreal, but everyone was just so happy to be rid of her and to be in the presence of a competent teacher omfg. We eventually were able to get back into our usual classroom.

  1. It took a while for things to go completely back to normal, though. After the big spectacle she made, for weeks after she was fired we were all very scared of the possibility of Mrs. Stubel returning to the school with a gun in hand. It was always a topic we whispered about at lunch with wide eyes and shivers. Like…genuine nightmare scenario.
  2. About two weeks after she was fired, a boy in the back of the classroom gasped loudly during SSR, and when we all looked at him, he whispered in anger “She never gave us our freakin’ strudels!”
  3. About three months after she was fired, we were lined up at the door to go to Library when a few of us looked through the windows and saw something darting through the trees. It was fast and we couldn’t make anything out, so we let it drop. When the class and teacher returned half and hour later, the book she had borrowed months before from one of the boys was sitting on his desk. It was just laying there, the room was silent, nothing had been disturbed…but I have never seen a book look so threatening. People were freaking out. Someone kept insisting that she turned the book into a bomb. No one figure out how she got in the school, and no one could figure out how she got it on the right desk, as we had switched the seating arrangement since she had last been there.  
  4. A full six months after she had left, it was nearing the end of the school year and our class was dicking around during our last computer class. Someone found a website (that we weren’t allowed to be on) that pulls up any police records attached to whoever’s name you enter, so someone decided to search Mrs. Stubel as a joke. We ended up finding out she had like six DUI’s.

Aaaaand that’s the story of the horrendous teacher I had for two months in 7th grade. One of my favorite party stories but tbh she still haunts me™ .

Highlights from Michael Chu’s AMA
  • Fareeha ‘Pharah’ Amari is a classic rock fan (’I am the Rocket Queen!’)

  • About the family Reaper was looking at in Reflections, Chu states that ‘it’s not a random family’.

  • Not every hero will get a short. But all of them will get new interactions

  • Someday they’ll actually do the birthdays of the heroes, “but probably not soon just to make sure we don’t accidentally make some date mistakes in continuity" - Chu

  • Chu states that he would also love to explore more of Hanzo’s story, both before the fight with Genji, and after Dragons, to see what his reaction to confronting his brother again is

  • Genji’s father gave him the nickname of Sparrow, and Sparrow was actually the nickname the devs used for him while Genji was in development

  • It’s still up in the air who answers Overwatch’s recall, and who doesn’t

  • The omnic language is not easily translatable to English. It’s not intended to be a language that humans (who haven’t been augmented) could read easily

  • The Hero short takes place right around the time of the Recall

  • Tracer is apparently, a fan of Diego Costa (and maybe even Chelsea?)

  • There is, apparently, a lot of lore that has been worked out but not
    revealed to the public

  • Examples of this include when they create a new hero/map/story, there is a lot of backstory behind it that they don’t reveal, and will reveal over time

  • Mei and Efi are the best ‘doodlers’ (drawers) in the game
  • Mei loves beef noodle soup
  • Apparently, Torbjörn has a pretty interesting cat that may or may not have a jetpack on it

  • Lúcio gets intense whenever Brazil plays Argentina. (Maybe he’s just tired of hearing Decime qué se siente so much.)

  • Chu also says that moving forward, some of the characters who have been underdeveloped will see some attention, and there will be a focus on Talon as well

  • There will also be further exploration of Widowmaker, and her tragic backstory

  • The Human Hating Gorillas on the moon, like the moon more than they do the earth. So they don’t want to come back down here

  • Revisiting the subject about who knows Reaper’s identity in the current timeline of Overwatch: “To clarify about the Reaper/Reyes thing, yes it is because they have not met in the ‘current day’ of Overwatch. The interactions in the game are meant to be what ifs. I do think that McCree would known that Reaper was Reyes if he encountered him.”

  • And finally, the answer to the most important question of all was never answered:

The world may never know.

The full AMA is right here if you’re interested in reading it.

youtube

I first saw Woodstock running across a turnpike we were turning onto late one dark night in Peachtree Georgia Atlanta. Whilst we were shooting Lawless. He was a stray. 11 weeks old. Oh No we thought. Quickly Go get that dog not even sure it was a dog. Actually.  We stopped the car. It was pitch black literally. I used my phone to light the road in case a car came round the turnpike and couldn’t see me. And malletted me. And I tried to cover some ground but he was fast.  I watched this thing Running towards the highway in the pitch black making good speed towards the cars and lorries and I remember seeing what were its floppy ears bouncing towards the traffic. That dogs had it I thought. I couldn’t make out how big it was what breed it was? Nothing  just those two ears flapping away above a frantic bundle. Hurtling away from us towards impending doom that was for certain. Whatever it was had no road sense and was tearing away. I panicked a little because I couldn’t help it had no name to shout and now it was close to the freeway. I put my fingers to my mouth and I whistled. Loud as I could. The whistle pierced the black. And It stopped the dog dead in its tracks. Then it turned and set eyes on me in one swift movement the ears about faced and the dog decided to run straight at me in the darkness all flashes of teeth and snarling And shrieking. Fuck this I thought that’s not a fkn dog. What am I doing. It ran straight at me and hit me around the legs I couldn’t see but I could hear the distress and I reached down thinking I’m going to get bitten. It was so noisy shrieking. I snatched out expecting to feel teeth and grabbed a fist full of soft neck fur lifted what was actually an incredibly light weight up to my face and shone my phone at it. It was a very small bundle literally sagging from its neck fur with two big brown eyes staring straight into mine. Terrified and utterly quiet. When I got back to the car and sat in my seat he lay on my shoulder and fell asleep. And snored clearly he’d been through a lot. And now the ordeal was seemingly over enough for him to relax. Jessica asked me was he a girl or a boy. Its a boy I said. How do you know. Erm… I can feel his Woodstock. great !!! let’s call him Woodstock!!! And so it was. He was covered in dogshit. Now so was I. And we rode and We took him straight to the pet store to clean him up and buy him well things.., lots of things things dogs need and we walked the aisles the three of us letting him
Choose toys and his lead and his collar. I’ll
Never forget that night. It was wonderful. One minute he was almost dead next terrified. Then picked up by strangers then after He had a power nap in the car, the next he’s walking with his bandy leg John Wayne strut under the strip lighted aisles of this massive pet store happy and playful.
He wore a red bandana that night and from then on and drank religiously from the toilet throughout the night despite having a few bowls of water in the apartment he was every inch a survivor.  He wasnt house broken it didn’t matter we were outdoors mostly and He ate through trailer doors and made many friends and Pnut had him on the lead off set and He became our onset dog  I will always be eternally grateful to Georgia. It gave me the greatest of joys of being a dog owner  And the bestest of friends after Max had passed Woody arrived He was 11 weeks old approx. The first morning we had him. He ate a turd and we chased him to drop it but he gobbled it down because he must have thought we wanted to eat it. So he ate it as fast as he could. We just wanted him to eat some real food. He now had plenty. But there was a survivor in him. That was clear he had had to eat what he could and from then on it was clear he had food issues. But he would never go hungry again. His nickname was Yamaduki. Because he literally yammed down a duki. So Woodstock Yamaduki was his full name. Woody Thomas later Woody two shoes and Wu for short.

Woody came back to the Uk after Jess’s parents kindly looked after him to avoid quarantine they house trained him. He had my tshirt from Warrior. I picked him up from them in California when I shot Dark Knight and thanked them. He hadn’t forgotten me and despite the tireless efforts and hard work that Jessica’s Mum and husband had put into Woody he heard my whistle again and turned and ran at me and didn’t look back. I felt for them but secretly I was very happy that my friend and I were reconnected.  We all had a picnic we jumped into a lake Woody too and then it was clear Woody couldn’t swim and I hauled his ass out of the lake. Dragging him out the shit a second time cemented a pattern. I have hauled him out of rivers and ponds on many occasion since that day such was his love to chase ducks. Especially the Thames.
his rabies titer had cleared he spent a week in quarantine and he became a Londoner.

He was an Angel. And he was my best friend. We went through so much together.
Charlotte worked tirelessly with him to get him through a rough case of separation anxiety. He loved her like his Mum. And when she was pregnant he gaurded her fiercely.

He has been on many sets. Met many crews. Photo shoots premieres made many many friends he was #73 most influential animal in TIME magazine. He beat JAWS. Something we all thought was brilliant. He’s been in peaky blinders. Legend everyone who met him loved him. He didn’t have a bad bone in his body. All he knew was love.

I don’t normally speak out about family and friends but this is an unusual circumstance. Woody affected so many people in his own right so with great respect to his autonomy and as a familiar friendly face to many of you, it is with great great sadness a heavy heart that I inform you that after a very hard and short 6 month battle with an aggressive polymyostisis Woody passed away, two days ago. He was only Age 6. He was Far too young to leave us and We at home are devastated by his loss I am ultimately grateful for his loyal companionship and love and it is of some great comfort that he is no longer suffering. Above all I am completely gutted. the world for me was a better place with him in it and by my side.
To the bestest friend ever. To me and to a family who loved him beyond words and whom he loved without doubt more than I have ever known. Woody was the bestest of journey companions we ever could dream of having. Our souls intertwined forever.

A friend told me

He was special bro, a shining example of man’s best friend. He burnt very very bright and, those that burn very bright sometimes burn half as long.

Thankyou Woody for choosing to find us. We will love you and be with you and you with us forever. Never ever ever forgotten. Your Boy tom xxx I love you beyond words. To the moon and back again and again to
Infinity and beyond. Run with Max now and the Angels. I will see you when I get there.
With all of me I love you. Always Thankyou for
Your love beautiful boy.

Here is 10 things I tell my students on the first day of class about building yourself up into being a artist. This is starting point, not a all encompassing list. Hope you find it helpful!

1. Never stop experimenting. When you stop trying new things your style will get stagnant. Developing your style never has an stopping point, you’re going to continue learning and changing–that is a good thing.

2. Don’t draw to please a particular person or audience. It is tempting to draw something you think the person viewing it will like. It starts with drawing to please a friend/family member, then a teacher, and then a wider audience online or in person. However, consider drawing to please yourself first, an audience will follow in time and you will face a lot less burn out down the line. You’ll be hired for this, work you made out of something you liked crafting–not something you forced yourself to craft. Don’t make art that makes you miserable.

3. Learn the basics. Get good at anatomy (human and animal), perspective, creating depth, lighting, etc–then break the rules you’ve learned. Work, no matter how abstract, pushed, and pulled is always stronger when informed by a mastery of the basics.

4. Practice working in ways that do not hurt your hand. Learn to draw with a relaxed hand and draw in long strokes. Both of these methods help prevent issues with your hand, wrist, and arm. I’ve never gotten carpal tunnel, and I draw on a daily basis, because I have learned how to treat my hand well. Your hand is your tool, if you wear it out there isn’t a new one you can just pick up. The best treatment for any possible physical issues is prevention.

5. Learn how to draw without erasing. It is scary and it is tough no doubt! However the best way to become more confident is through not erasing. There is a medium for everyone to try this out, whether it is pen or non-erasing colored pencils. If you want to ease yourself into this method try out Pentel red lead, it erases a bit–but overall will always leave a mark with every stroke you make. The importance of this is learning to not be afraid of mistakes.

6. Draw from life, from reference photos, and from imagination. This trio is important, combining all three is usually how you build great drawing skills. Drawing from life gives you the ability to capture small details that you’ll remember to put in when drawing from a reference photo, drawing from refs will give you the practice you’ll need to handle whatever subject so that one day you can draw it from your own imagination–see how that works?

7. You’re art isn’t completely unique and that is okay. I can’t emphasis how many people I know who have gotten so hung up on being something totally unique that they burn out fast and never make work again. Now, considering how much art is in the world there is no way that what you create will be 100% unique to you. That is fine, your personality in your work is more of what makes something yours than a “style”.

8. Figure out your work’s personality. On that note finding the personality of your art is important as you go into trying to build your own place in the art world. The personality of a piece is a combination of style, subject, color, shapes, lines, and maybe most important themes (yes subject and themes are different). This combo is what makes your art special. At a loss for where to start figuring out your own personality? Compile a list of 10 artists you love. Why do you love them? Is it the shapes of one artist that speak to you, the line work of another is beautiful, the themes of a third make you feel inspired? Now take the 10 things you love about those 10 artists and start applying them to your own work. This isn’t about copying these artists, it is about the inspiration. That line work you love in another artist’s piece is gunna look different in yours for example. Those themes from another artist, well when you take them on your life might inform them in a opposite way. In time your inspired work will evolve into something that is your own.

9. Talent is nice, persistence is more important. Someone may be naturally talented in some areas of art, however someone who is persistent in their craft is so much more likely to succeed. Effort, continued growth, and practice will add up to so much more in the long run than just skating by on “talent”.

10. Be a good person. Treat others with respect, learn about social issues, don’t be a creep, and use your art to help people. And this might mean you craft a piece about an important issue that changes thousands of lives, or you might just be creating to help yourself get through the day. Both are important, after all you are a person too and you should always be trying to help and be kind to yourself.

Real Talk: Jackson. Appropriation VS Appreciation.

This is about Jackson Wang from Got7 wearing dread locks in a Chinese advertisement, just in case you haven’t seen all of the drama and people attacking him. (pictures below)

I’ll start off with saying, I don’t give a fuck that he wore dreadlocks. There, that saved you a lot of reading and time, so if you would like to unfollow/block me, go ahead. Agree to disagree. People want MY opinion on this, so here it is:

The way people are attacking him is all kinds of wrong. I’m ok with people explaining nicely about the history of dreads and how people can take an offense to non Black people wearing that style, that’s their opinion, even though some where being way too harsh about it but reading all the hate comments are disgusting. You would think Jackson got caught in an animal cruelty case (God forbid) or rape case (God forbid), so I’m reading twitter and instagram and saying to myself…what is happening? I’ve never seen K Hip Hop artist get THIS much heat and they wear dreads and braids on a daily basis, but when Jackson wears them in an ad, he gets so much hate and death threats.

“He’s so wrong”

“Educate him”

“He doesn’t care about Black people but he’s wearing our hair style” - Oh I’m sorry I didn’t know Jackson hated Black people..

Let me tell you something, I know people are going to hate me for my opinion, but they hate me anyway lol, so fuck it. I understand where their passion comes from, people hate that other races look up to Black people and want to dress like us, be like us, but at the end of the day they don’t want to be with us or could care less about us for real, I GET IT!. I get it, there’s a lot of people out there that don’t like us for real but wear our hair styles. I understand appropriation. I understand the history of it all. I’m proud to be Black and love my race, my culture and the passion we have.

And I also love that other races look up to our people sooo much that they want to dress like their favorite rapper, or try their style, the rappers themselves are even flattered and don’t care, they just love that they are looked up to and inspire people of all races.

Oh wait, my antil Blackness coon-ness is showing, let me stop! (sarcasm)

But personally, If people who are not Black wear braids, dreadlocks and they’re NOT doing it to mock us, profit from us, claiming it as their own, not a racist, and fucks with my people heavy and NOT doing it to degrade our race (like Jackson!), then I don’t give a damn how you wear your hair, bitch you can wear dreadlocks til yo ass 90, I do not give a damn, there’s some fuck up things going on out there in the REAL world of appropriation. Like this fashion show that was urban themed, gave them afros, braids, but there were no Black people in the show, obviously I was annoyed, because what are they doing? Profiting off of Black people and NOT giving any credit and claiming it as new/ their own. That’s the problem with appropiating. It’s stealing from one’s culture and giving no credit.

What is Jackson doing? Is he racist? is he claiming it as his own? Is he constantly doing it? Is he discrediting Black people and acting like it’s a brand new thing he’s doing?

What did Jackson do that SOOOOOOO MANY other non Black people do every day and are getting their hair braided as I type this. I’m lost as to why people are jumping down his throat and giving him threats and demanding an apology like he said “N*gger” or something?

This girl shared my inner thoughts on appropriation. (should watch this).

And also this.


^ He’s right!  What I said above, he’s NOT doing it to degrade or profit from our race. I said my thoughts before he even responded.

+ People are offended by his response saying he “is saying fck you to us, he doesn’t care about our culture, he doesn’t listen to us”, damn! what do you want him to say? Do you not see the hate comments he’s getting?, telling him to die, saying racial slurs, you guys want to play victim in every little thing so badly, there is NOTHING wrong with his responses, they are haters. He could’ve said worse.

+And “you are on the wrong page” he’s right! If you don’t like him and want to send him hate, then you ARE ON THE WRONG PAGE. If you have a problem with him, then don’t be on his page. don’t even click on it.

^HE APPRECIATES OUR PEOPLE!

HE’S INSPIRED BY OUR PEOPLE!

HE LOVES OUR PEOPLE!

HE LOOKS UP TO OUR PEOPLE!

The last thing on my mind is someone’s hair. I don’t know about y’all but I got bigger fish to fry in this racist world, and Jackson’s 2 minute twists are the least of the problem.

And I know they will say, “So who cares wrong is wrong, he needs to be educated”, HE IS! He knows about Black people, his role models are Black, so of course he’s going to want what they want, you guys are acting like he wore the dreads to be ignorant and racist and you’re acting like he constantly “steals” from our culture and profits from it, he doesn’t.

I’m out.

Here’s the picture:


Watch the haters come in 3, 2, 1…

Why Wonder Woman was so Important to Me

I had the opportunity to see Wonder Woman recently, and I was left awestruck.  Wonder Woman is such a timeless character, and I feel this story and the way the film was made really captured the heart of the original character.  With DC’s track record, it had a high chance of being lazy and bad.  But it wasn’t.  It was original. Refreshing. I cried a lot, and here’s why.

1. Women Are Strong 

I’m not one to loudly complain about the misrepresentation of women in media (though we often are).  We’ve had some really awesome and strong female characters over the past couple years.  But somehow, Wonder Woman took this in a completely new direction.  Watching the Amazons fight the invaders on the beach nearly brought me to tears.  It was so special for me to see women take on roles we rarely see them in.  They were the fighters, the protectors, the providers.  There are many women out in the world right now who are fighting their own battles, much like the Amazons.  They’re providing for their families or serving their countries through the military.  It was a pleasant reminder that while men and women have differences, they are equally strong and skilled.

(Also yay for a female director!)

2. Actions Speak Louder

Many times, Wonder Woman is questioned.  She’s scoffed at for being a women (which would have been very common during that time).  She’s underestimated.  But what’s so amazing here is that she never has to prove herself to the men.  It would’ve been so easy for the movie to fall into that common trope.  She never argues with a man and she focuses her attention on others instead of herself.  She wants to kill Ares and stop the war. And in the end, her actions speak louder then her words ever could.  What I took from this is to rise to action.  Stop talking and start doing.  Ignore what others say, because you know what you can do.  Hold your head high and rise above.

3. Mutual Respect Brings the Most Success

As I said before, it would have been easy for the film to fall into certain tropes.  A trope we often see nowadays is a woman proving that she (or all women) are better then men.  That’s never a point of conflict in this film.  Her love interest, Steve, fights as her equal.  He isn’t clumsy or weak to make Wonder Woman look stronger.  He believes in her and helps her to the best of his ability. When they become interested in each other romantically, they both hold their own.  They love each other but are not dependent on one another.  We see the rest of the men in their gang react the same way later on.  They all eventually come to love and respect Diana.  It’s a great reminder that feminism is about collaboration and equality, not one gender being better then the other.  We each have something to bring to the table and our differences are what makes us stronger. 

4. It’s Okay to not be Okay

There’s a really interesting character in Wonder Woman’s gang named Charlie.  He’s supposed to be the world’s top shooter, but time and time again he fails.  He seen some things that have damaged him pretty heavily.  What’s really interesting about this character is that we never see this issue resolved.  He doesn’t have his big “hero moment” where he is suddenly able to shoot and save the day.  This is so much like real life.  We’ve all been hurt, and it’s ok to be damaged.  You have nothing to prove, but your great efforts will help everything to turn out right in the end.  At one point, Charlie even says to Diana “You don’t need me, you’re better of without me.” To this she replies “No, Charlie, if you’re not here, who will sing?” This implies that Charlie is still a valued member of the group, despite his shortcomings.  His friends are able to recognize his other strengths when he cannot.  


5. There is Much Darkness in the World, But Love Will Save the Day

Not much to say here, as Diana said it all in her own monologue:

“I used to want to save the world, to end war and bring peace to mankind. But then I glimpsed the darkness that lives within their light. I learnt that inside every one of them there will always be both. The choice each must make for themselves - something no hero will ever defeat. And now I know… that only love can truly save the world. So now I stay, I fight, and I give - for the world I know can be. This is my mission now, for ever.”

Often times love is portrayed as a great weakness. But it isn’t.  To love is to truly see beauty in the world.  To love is to be brave and strong.  Love is the greatest power of all.  

Additional Notes:

We must learn to forgive.  Diana had the opportunity to kill the chemist responsible for Steve’s death.  And she chose not too, instead focusing on the larger problem at hand and in turn leaving the past in the past.

There were not gratuitous or sexualized shots of the women in the film.  The framing was based around the action.  The women were all beautiful, but the film relied on it’s story and the strength of it’s lead rather then her beauty. 

There will always be hardship. There isn’t always one bad guy to fight.  We all will have to continue to fight our demons and endure through our trials.  But it’s the light and the love, those precious moments, that we fight for.

Thanks Wonder Woman.  You inspired me, and I’m so grateful.  I don’t think I’ve seen a superhero movie with more heart.  There will be many days ahead where I think “What would Wonder Woman do?” 

*I may edit and add on to more of this at a later time, but I wanted to get my initial thoughts out!

anonymous asked:

"crazy detention stories"...go

They’re really not that crazy I don’t think but fine- but as I had detention at least once a week for 3 years you’re only getting the highlights here:

  • So again, I only ever got detentions because I was late to school basically every day. Every single day, the office wrote me a late slip with my name spelled horrendously wrong. Different spelling every day. The most famous butchering was writing my name as “Millie Hoagie”. On my very last day of high school, I was predictably late, and they spelled my name perfectly correctly.
  • So listen my ‘reputation’ in school was basically “quiet good girl who’s never done anything wrong, ever, in her life” and “teacher’s pet” and the like. And despite the fact I was there every time all the ‘Bad Kids™’ who were also always in detention were always incredibly surprised to see me??? Like they never got over it. Every time I walked into the damn room at least half the class would be like “MOLLY YOU DON’T BELONG HERE YOU’RE INNOCENT!!” 😂
  • Also despite the fact I was basically invisible in the school as a whole all the trouble makers knew me by name because, and I quote a kid from my 10th grade Spanish class who was trying to hook up with me at the time here, “Guys like me are afraid of you, Girl, we’re just plain out scared that we gonna corrupt you!” and I still don’t know what he actually meant by that???
  • Bu anyway, this apparent rep usually gave me an upper hand with the teachers monitoring the detentions. Because, you know, some were fine, some were bitchy, some were insane. But all of them were pissed about the fact they had to be there instead of heading home.
  • The rules of detention were literally just ‘stare at the wall and don’t talk’, depending on which teacher they might let the students do homework. But since I was apparently a great person and always had the class’ incredulous response to me being in the room, they usually let me get away with sleeping or reading a book lol.
  • Of course…no one said any of the other kids were inclined to following the rules lmao. These were like, all the class clowns™ shoved into one room. Things always got real funny real fast.
  • It would always start off with the coughing game. If you’ve ever stepped into a school you should know what that is.
  • It would then escalate to everyone in the room playing catch whenever the teacher looked away for a brief moment
  • Detention was always in the health classroom so someone always tried to steal a limb off the skeleton without being to obvious
  • Some teachers would let people talk ‘quietly’ so jokes were fucking abound
  • One time I was minding my own damn business and a kid slides me a note saying ‘in like five minutes ask to go to the bathroom but head downstairs to the English wing’ before he snuck out without the teacher noticing. I get down there and he’s at one end of the hallway and another boy is at the other end. Upon seeing me, these boys run full speed down the hall at each other, leap up in the air when they get to the direct center, high five with full force, both scream in pain, and then hit the floor, clutching their hands. I was cracking the fuck up and trying to convince them to go to the nurse but they wouldn’t listen. I asked the guy why the hell they did that. He told me ‘because we wanted a witness and no one will ever believe you’ 😂😂
  • One time my sorta-neighbor Mike comes in and the teacher asked why he had detention and apparently, the principal had asked him where to find his friend Jose, and Mike responded “he’s out picking cotton” and the principal flipped out at what he perceived to be a racist joke and gave him a month detention. But the thing was, Jose was in an agriculture class and he was literally outside picking cotton that they had planted there earlier. Jose found it fucking hilarious and refused to tell the principal to get his friend out of trouble.
  • As I haven’t been inside a school building for quite some time now I don’t know if turtling is still a thing but it was…quite an epidemic for my senior class.
  • It’s when you turn someone’s backpack inside out right? But it was a full blown war with these kids. Trust no one. Never leave the room. Never look away. Holy shit. One of the best moments of this occurred in detention, when a boy reached to get a book out of his backpack to find it was gone. After 15 minutes of searching the room, he found it, turtled, hidden in a filing cabinet in the front of the room. Everyone, including the teacher, was loosing their shit, because how did someone pull that off so quietly and invisibly without someone noticing??? No one fessed up. The class was in fear of the turtle ninja for the rest of the month, but they never struck again. No one ever discovered who it was.
  • Guys: It was me.
  • One time it was raining and the teacher was in a bad mood so he insisted all the windows stay open. He left for a bathroom break or something and this one poor kid, who was now completely soaked as he was stuck with a window seat, just said “fucking bye” and just…climbed out the damn window. Left his backpack and everything. Didn’t see him again for at least a month.
  • There was one guy who always sold ice cream out of his bag when the teachers weren’t looking. Where he was getting it from and how it stayed frozen is beyond me.
  • Oh my God sometimes all the indie singer kids would just come and sit on the floor outside the classroom and talk loudly to annoy us??? The hell were they trying to accomplish??? Your singing ain’t special and you won’t be famous, please let us die in peace.
  • One kid had detention because when we were running laps in gym class he jumped up to hit the arch of the ceiling and accidentally set off the fire alarm. The teacher that day insisted on continuously referring to him as ‘the delinquent’, as if no one else in the room had broken the rules or something
  • One time one of the gym teachers was in charge of it and long story short he started doing the jersey turnpike. True horror.
  • One time the teacher got a call and she had to go down to the office and the second she was gone this one kid’s friend runs in with a huge tray going “Y’ALL I STOLE THE LASAGNE CUPCAKES FROM THE FOOD AND NUTRITION CLASSROOM” and we dined like kings.
  • Everyone would sometimes just break out in song for no God damn reason
  • One time one of the guys in charge of the detention was A) Not someone anyone recognized as a teacher and B) Potentially Stanley Tucci. Like…I was about 80% certain that this guy was Stanley Tucci.
  • He refused to confirm or deny or even give a name
  • One time I was really absorbed in my book when all the sudden a letter flew onto my desk, an anonymous sender that just said “You have a soft, sexy voice.” Neither of which is true, I’m pretty sure, and I could not for the life of me figure out who sent it omfg
  • One time a teacher was freaking out because he went to a psychic over the weekend and was told there was a lot of activity around him so I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I’m a medium and I can see that the devil had marked his soul and he threw me out of the room and refused to take that class for detention ever again😂
  • It was a hot summers day. The ceiling fans were on their highest setting. A boy nudges me, with a small carton of ice cream in his hands under his desk. “What do you think would happen if I scooped out a huge chunk of this and threw it at the fan?” he whispered. “Jamil, no.” I pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears. Soon, the room was filled with confused screams.
  • Apparently all the other regulars™ had bought me candy grams around Christmas time so they were confused when I showed up to detention with no candy and apparently the student council member sent them all to the other Molly in the grade because she was the popular one and this lead to about 12 boys grumbling for two and a half hours like “The one damn time I attempt to be a gentleman” and “I know where she lives” and “Gonna gingerbread her fucking locker” I could not stop laughing
  • Oh God okay one time the teacher we had was literally. Off the charts.
  • Like there’s the chill teachers, and then the bitchy teachers. And then this lady. She literally reminded me of Stubel
  • So I didn’t even know who she was but I walk in and do my shy smile/quiet ‘hello’ thing and take out my book so she immediately zeros in on me as ‘the good kid’ as usual
  • But she literally seemed to think every other person in this class was a hardened criminal holy shit. She was all over the place barking orders and yelling. And of course, you’ve got a room full of class clowns, like they feed off teachers like this. So the madder she got the more ridiculous they got. I was literally almost in tears trying to force myself not to laugh because I didn’t want to risk her turning on me omfg
  • So she yelled and flailed about the room and they kept going with jokes and paper wasps and lying about their names and just doing literally every thing they could possibly do so this woman wouldn’t have the chance to rest
  • This escalated with every minute and came to a resounding end when the teacher decided the Australian Kid™ was chewing gum and picked up the trashcan and shoved his face in it, screaming at him to spit it out as he yelled back “YOU’RE ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE IM AN IMMIGRANT
  • he was in charge of all the bullshit that day and it was hysterical but he wasn’t the one chewing gum loudly that was me
  • The vp came in to see what all the yelling was about to find a teacher shoving a boy’s head in the trash, one boy shirtless as another drew tattoos on him, the phone off the line with it’s cord wrapped around a kid’s neck, two boys dueling with skeleton arms, one kid with her leg out the window, a kid tying a skeleton foot to the ceiling fan, rubber bands and paper wasps flying from every angle, three people turtling backpacks, someone brandishing an epi-pen, sexual hangman being played on the chalkboard, someone eating ice cream and fanning himself with money, and me, crying into my book with my hand literally bleeding from all my efforts to not laugh at what I was witnessing
  • We never saw her in detention again😂
  • My one younger friend got a detention for being late and was really shaken up about it and I tried to tell her she’d be fine but then she got caught sliding me chocolate animal crackers during it, and subsequently got another detention because of this; somehow I was not viewed as an equally guilty party and didn’t get in trouble
  • This one guy came in complaining “You guys all told me to get a twitter and I get thrown in twitter jail my first day!” “That’s like a thousand tweets in one day, how the fuck did you mange that?” “Bitch I had a lot to say about McDonalds!”
  • One teacher came in and was like “I don’t feel like helping with homework but does anyone wanna learn how to hack a computer?”
  • Someone got caught pouring water out the window but when the teacher looked to see why she saw the youngest of the goats™ standing under the window with it’s mouth open waiting for more
  • One time the teacher wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom and after I asked for like the 5th time he said “It can’t be that important!” so I just pulled a pad out of my backpack and silently sat it on my desk while glaring at him and this 40 year old man looked like he was about to pass out and he finally let me go
  • I remember our final detention of senior year we were told that if we skip it we can’t graduate so everyone went into that room with a ridiculously nostalgic attitude and one guy finally stole the skull off the skeleton and we fucking tossed it around the entire time while singing and blatantly ignoring the teacher’s complaining lmao
  • I know there’s more but it’s 7am and this is long so all in all like…I do not miss high school but some memories are bearable lmao
ask and you shall receive | pt 1 (m)

[credit.] 

pairing: jung hoseok x reader, sugar daddy! hoseok
genre/warnings: smut, lots of oral, slow burn, dirty talk, dom! hoseok
words: 13,865
summary: your sugar daddy says you don’t have to sleep with him if you don’t want to…trouble is, you do want to. You’re just nervous and a little inexperienced, but he catches on quick and begins to teach you the true pleasures of sex, and boy, are they good…

 a/n: in the end I had to split this into two parts rip. It was already nearly 14k with just one smut scene haha. but oh well, that means more detail for part two…

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Oh, you had me living a lie for a year? Maybe I'll just go ahead and dismantle every aspect of your life.

Well I was had! I been took! I been hoodwinked! Bamboozled! Led astray! Run amok!

This is a trailer trash roller coaster. All aboard!

The Lies

I thought I was in a slightly tumultuous but overall fun relationship for a year. I had gotten out of a 12 year relationship when I met Fuckboi, he was so charming and handsome I thought I won the lottery! He was super pushy about saying “I love you” first and defining our relationship. He introduced me to his family. His niece started calling me Auntie. He tells me about his 3 children and their mothers and lies about how the mother of his oldest hates him and is keeping him away from the kid.

But then things started getting weird. His “ex” started calling all the fucking time, multiple times a day. They had children together, but the grandmother had custody the lie I was told to make it seem normal was that both of them had jobs where they traveled a lot, so they signed legal guardianship over to the g-ma to make schooling & emergency issue easier. Then she moved down to the city we were loving in for “work training”. Then she was moving down permanently without the kids. When I asked why the kids weren’t coming, the lie I was told they need to stay in the same school Um, they are 6 and 4 I’d say staying with parents is more important at that age than their peer group. It was weird, but I’m the cool girlfriend and it wasn’t my place to tell them where their daughters should live.

His “work” was in the cannabis industry, kind of. He worked with the “ex” brother in law going to legal states, buying pounds at a time and trafficking it via USPS. So, when he tells me he’s going to Oregon I think nothing of it.

After a week in Oregon, a lot of stories aren’t adding up, like his phone is always dead even though he carries a power bank with him. THEN one of his “friends” starts posting cuddled up selfies with him. I quickly put 2 and 2 together and dump him for cheating on me with this chick in Oregon.

The Truth

After I dumped him I made a messy facebook post on his wall, which the mother of his oldest child sees and she contacts me and lays out the truth!

He never contacts his oldest daughter, even though he has her cellphone. No one is keeping him from her.

  • He owes $20k in back child support for her, as he has never once made a payment and he moves around a lot & works under the table, so the mother was never able to collect garnishments or anything.
  • He has a huge criminal record starting with rape he committed at age 15, and then a lifetime of fraud, larceny and drug charges I knew nothing about!
  • His “ex” who moved to our city was his girlfriend of 9 years who was very much still in a relationship with him
  • They willingly gave up the 2 children because they preferred to use drugs; him - heroin, her - pills
  • There is a FOURTH child!?!?!?! He and the mother conspired to pin the paternity on another poor sap and it’s been 17 years now that this other man has been paying for a kid that is not his
  • I was his side chick
  • His family knew and played along in the lie and included their 10 and 16 year old children in the lie!
  • His chick in Oregon is actually his starcrossed lover from childhood! And every time they would try to be together one or the other would end up in jail!
  • The Oregon chick ALSO has a criminal record highlights include criminally negligent homicide from a DUI where she killed her passenger, fraud, larceny, drug charges

This shocked me, so I paid for a criminal background check which is how I learned of their records.

The Revenge

I PROFUSELY thanked the ex for telling me the truth about the situation. I mulled on it for a bit trying to convince myself to simply consider myself lucky and just walk away with my dignity intact. But then he’d be winning and I knew I had everything in my power to come down on him like Thor’s hammer.

  • I gave the ex ALL of his info - SSN, State ID#s, current and past known addresses. With this she contacted her state’s Child Support Services.
  • He now will have his Drivers license revoked and can’t get one no matter the state he moves to until he is current with his past payments.
  • If he ever gets a real job 25% of his wages will be garnished
  • He now has a warrant for his arrest in the state his oldest kid lives.
  • He’s trying to play house with his new GF and contacted the mother of his oldest to arrange a meeting with his kid and his gf’s child. The mother is “playing nice” and pretending it’s a-go and he is planing a trip to visit the daughter. He will not see her, at the “meeting” he will be seeing the police and they will arrest him for failure to pay, and he won’t get out of jail until he pays a sizable chunk of the $20,000 past-due PLUS bail!
  • I gave the ex his info THE DAY BEFORE his federal tax refund was set to go out, She was fast enough at getting his info to CSS that they INTERCEPTED his full tax refund and now he has for the first time paid for something for his child.
  • His past due child support is also going on his credit report
  • I know the name of the business his ex brother in law owns and uses to launder his drug trafficking money, I dropped a dime to the IRS. So, he’s losing his only steady income soon and can’t get a job a Walmart due to his criminal record, and if he DOES manage to find someone that hires without criminal background checks he will lose ¼ of his paycheck.
  • I told this story to two of my “hacker” friends and they got into contact with hackers more talented than themselves and are now going to “take care of” a few more things for me, like finding the guy who was conned into paying for a kid that’s not his.

A MESSAGE FROM AVI
Hello everyone. If you haven’t yet watched the video then these words might come as a shock to you. If you have watched, know that this is exactly what I would have said in the video, if filming it wasn’t one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to do. This morning, I announced that I will be taking a step back from PTX.
I’ve struggled with this decision a lot. It has been the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make in my life. Before I explain why, I want you all to know that the past 6 years have been the most unbelievable years of my life. The things we’ve accomplished, the places we’ve seen, the people we’ve touched with our music… It surpasses anything that I could have ever dreamed up for my life.
I believe one of the big reasons why we have been so successful and accomplished all that we have is because of the unbelievably fast pace that we keep. Throughout my journey with PTX, this pace has always been a struggle for me. It’s been hard for me not to be with my family and friends when I need them or when they need me. It’s been hard to not be able to escape into nature when I’m feeling overwhelmed or just need some time to myself.
Through all of this, I’ve done my best and I’ve kept pushing myself to keep up. Really, the reason why I’ve been able to push so hard and for so long has been because of you guys. You all have inspired me and lifted me up every single day and, for that, I am eternally grateful.
I do love you all so very much, but I’ve come to a point where I just can’t keep up anymore and I would never want to inhibit any type of success that we have because I truly do believe in everything that we’ve done and everything that they will do. I just know that I can no longer continue at this pace and so I have to do what’s best for the group and I have to do what’s best for me.
I do want you all to know that I’m still going to be doing music and I’m going to be doing it with my whole heart. I will ALWAYS do my best to lift others up with my voice. I hope that you’ll all support my decision and that you can understand where I’m coming from. And regardless of anything, I just want to thank you for all that you’ve given to me. I have been so unbelievably blessed and humbled to be a part of all your lives in any way and I wanted you to hear this from me. From my voice. And from my heart.
I love you all deeply and I thank you for everything. Truly.
And just so you know, I will still be performing at all of our announced shows, so come say hi and give me a hug. I love hugs.
Avi


I know the announcement is already going around tumblr but I thought I’d upload the video. Watching it made me realize how sad and sorry he is. And even though I’m upset about the news, I think I’m more worried about him. I’m seeing lots of support and love for him on the internet, and I hope he’ll see it. Hopefully his decision will allow him to take back control of his life, get some rest and focus on whatever he wants. Maybe he’ll finally ask Sara Bareilles out, who knows… I just want him to be happy. It’s going to be hard for the band and for us fans, but both Avi and Pentatonix will still be able to make good music and succeed; except now he’s going to be able to breathe and go at his own pace.
Also, give him a hug from me if you can! x

anonymous asked:

Hey, you're awesome, thanks for existing, basically ^_^ Anyway, I wanted to know if you have any tips on how to write different personalities? My characters (all of them) always end up with the same default personality that I fall back on. Thanks!

Thanks for your question, darling!  I think most of us have struggled with this – after all, we’re conditioned to one way of thinking, feeling, and acting for as long as we live.  That doesn’t necessarily mean we write characters like ourselves, though.  In fact, many of us have a “default character” that’s sassier than we are, sweeter than we are, or in some way different enough from us that we still feel like we’re writing a character.

The problem, then, isn’t that we can’t visualize a different personality than ours.  On the whole, we can.  What we’re missing are the small details that make it feel whole – otherwise, it’s like painting the same room six different colors and trying to pass it off as six different rooms.  Different dominant traits can’t hide the fact that you’re working with one template!

So the question we’re left with: what are the traits we’re missing?  And how can we change them to create a unique and whole personality?


Three Types of Character Traits

There are, as the title suggests, three major categories of personality traits as I see it: fundamental traits, acquired traits, and detrimental traits.  A well-rounded character needs some of each to be three-dimensional and realistic.

Fundamental Traits

The fundamental traits of a person’s character are not as simple as interests and preferences; they are the very base of all decisions and desires.  They are either learned in early life or developed over a long period of time, rooting deeply into the personality.  A few examples of fundamental personality traits include:

  • Upbringing – The word choice here is conscious, as upbringing encompasses many different aspects of a person’s development.  Consider who raised them, and with what morals and practices they were raised to adulthood.  Consider their influences, both familial, social, and in media; consider the relationships that were normalized during their development, as well as the living conditions (financially, emotionally, environmentally, etc.).  The people, places, emotions, and conflicts made common during a person’s developmental period are essential to their personality in adulthood.  This is why psychologists often draw present-day problems back to a person’s childhood memories – because those formative years can subconsciously dictate so much of a person’s future!
  • Values – These may not coincide with the values a person is raised to hold, but upbringing certainly has an influence on this. A person’s values will direct the course of their life through every decision, large and small.  You don’t need to outline everything your character believes is important – every moral and every law they agree/disagree with. But those values which stand above others will give your character purpose.  A few of my favorite examples are: Jane from Jane the Virgin (whose initial storyline is heavily based on her religion and desire for a beautiful love story, as well as her childhood influences who inspired these values) and Han Solo from Star Wars (whose character development rested upon his values shifting from money and gratification to more honorable things).
  • Beliefs – Different from values, beliefs are a more general set of guidelines for how a person believes things are supposed to be.  Beliefs can also be a source of great conflict, as a character tries to stay aligned with their beliefs despite other values or desires.  These beliefs can be established systems, like religion or politics; they can also include more personal belief systems, like nihilism or veganism.  A characters beliefs, like their values, can change over the course of the story – but even if a character is questioning one system of belief, like religion or pacifism, they should have other belief systems in place to govern some of their activity.
  • Reputation – A lot of human activity, whether consciously or not, is dictated by how others perceive them (or how they believe others perceive them).  There are two types of reputation: personal and passing.  For instance, a woman named Sally who gains a personal reputation of sleeping around will behave in reaction to this reputation – either sleeping around because everyone already expects it of her, or specifically not hooking up because she wants to shake this reputation, or developing a thicker skin to deal with the rumors until it passes.  A man named Billy who, because of his tattoos, bears a passing reputation as an intimidating man will either try to soften his demeanor with strangers, own up to the image, or at least learn to expect judgment from strangers as a consequence.
  • Self-Image – Also relevant to a person’s behavior is the way they perceive themselves, which can often have little to do with their reputation.  A lot of self-image is based on definitive moments or phases in the past.  For instance: for several years after I started wearing contacts and cutting my hair, I still saw myself, in dreams at night, with long hair and glasses.  One of my friends, similarly, could not seem to notice when boys would flirt with her during sophomore year – because she still saw herself as an awkward middle schooler with braces, and not as the charming cheerleader with the great smile.
    Inversely, self-image can be inflated, causing character to behave as though they are funnier, smarter, or more prepared than they truly are (see: the rest of my sophomore acquaintances).  This can be an overlooked character flaw opportunity – or flawportunity…

Originally posted by alliefallie


Acquired Traits

Now we move on to the acquired traits of personality, which are the ones you’re more likely to find on a character sheet or a list of “10 Questions for Character Development”, alongside a million other things like their zodiac sign and their spirit animal.  But the traits I’m about to outline are a little more relevant to a character’s behavior, and more importantly, how to make this behavior unique from other characters’ behavior.  The following traits will be learned by your characters throughout their life (and their story), and are more likely to shift and grow with time:

  • Interests – I know, I had to reach deep down into my soul to think of this one.  But it’s true!  Interests, both in childhood/adolescence and in adulthood, are an important part of a character’s personality and lifestyle.  Childhood interests both reveal something about the character (for instance: my nephew loves trains, Legos, and building, suggesting a future interest in construction or engineering) and create values that can last for a lifetime.  Current interests affect career choice, social circles, and daily activity for everyone.  Forgotten or rejected interests can be the source of pet peeves, fears, or bad memories. There’s a reason I’ll never play with Polly Pockets again, and it 100% has to do with bloody fingertips and a purse that wouldn’t open.
  • Sense of Humor – This can be a little hard to define, understandably.  If you were to ask me what my sense of humor is, I’d probably start with a few stupid memes, pass by Drake & Josh on the way, and somehow wind up telling you bad puns or quoting Chelsea Peretti’s standup comedy. A person’s sense of humor can be complex and contradictory!  Sometimes we just laugh at stuff because someone said it in a funny way.  But anyway, to help you boil this down to something useful: take a look at a few kinds of comedy and relate it to your character’s maturity level.  Do they laugh when someone lets out a toot?  Are they the kind of person to mutter, “That’s what she said,” or simply try not to laugh when something sounds dirty?  Can puns make them crack a smile?  Do they like political humor?  Do cat videos kill them?  Is their humor particularly dark?  Can the mere sound of someone else laughing make them laugh?  Figure out where your character’s sense of humor is, and you’ll feel closer to them already.
  • Pet Peeves – For every interest a person may have, and everything that makes them laugh, there’s something else that can piss them off, large- or small-scale.  Are they finnicky about their living space and neatness? Do they require a lot of privacy? Do certain sounds or behaviors drive them crazy?  What qualities are intolerable in a romantic interest for them? What kind of comments or beliefs make them roll their eyes?  If you need help, just try imagining their worst enemy – someone whose every word or action elicits the best eye-rolls and sarcastic remarks and even a middle finger or two – and ask yourself, what about this person makes them that mortal enemy?  What behaviors or standards make them despicable to your character?  That’s all it takes.
  • Skills – Everybody has them, and they’re not just something we’re born with.  Skills can be natural talent, sure, but they’re also cultivated from time, values, and interests.  What is your character okay at?  What are they good at?  What are they fantastic at?  Maybe they can cook.  Maybe they have a beautiful eye for colors.  Maybe they have an inherent sense of right and wrong that others admire. Maybe they’re super-athletic or incredibly patient or sharp as a tack or sweet as a cupcake.  Maybe they know how to juggle, or maybe they’re secretly the most likely of all their friends to survive a zombie apocalypse.  Where do they shine?  What would make someone look at them and think, “Wow, I wish I were them right now”?
  • Desires – A good way to “separate” one character from the next is to define what it is they want, and then use every other detail to dictate how they pursue that goal.  Every real person has a desire, whether they’ve defined it or not – whether it’s something huge, like fame or a family of five with triplet girls and a beach house on an island, or something small, like good grades for the semester.  These desires can cause a person to revise their values or forsake their morals; and these desires can conflict with other people’s desires, influencing how people interact with each other.  Remember that every character is living their own story, even if it’s not the story you’re telling.
  • Communication Style – A majorly overlooked character trait in pop fiction is unique communication styles.  Having every character feel comfortable arguing, or bursting out with the words, “I love you,” is unrealistic.  Having every character feel paralyzed at the idea of confronting a bully or being honest to their spouse is also unrealistic.  There should be a healthy mix of communicators in a group of characters. Some people are too softspoken to mouth off at their racist lab partner.  Some people wouldn’t see their girlfriend kissing another guy and just walk away without saying something.  Some people just don’t react to conflict by raising their voice; some people enjoy sharing their opinions or giving the correct answer in class.  Boldness, social skills, and emotional health all have a part to play in how people communicate their thoughts – so keep this in mind to create a more realistic, consistent character.
  • Emotional Expression – Along the same lines but not the same, emotional expression is more focal on feelings than thoughts.  If you’ve ever heard of the fight-or-flight response, the different types of anger, the stages of grief, or the five love languages, then you’re aware of different “classifications” of emotional expression and management.  Read up on some of those things, and think about how your character handles emotions like happiness, sadness, fear, anger, loneliness, paranoia, and so forth.

Detrimental Traits

While acquired traits are certainly more enjoyable to brainstorm during the creation process, detrimental traits are as important – or even more important – to the character’s wholeness as well as their role in the story.  Not only do these negative or limiting traits make your character realistic, relatable, and conflicted – they create a need for other characters and their strengths to move the plot forward.  A few examples of detrimental traits include:

  • Flaws – Character flaws are probably the first thing that came to your mind while reading this, but they’re the essence of the category.  Flaws in a character’s personality, morality, or behavior can be a source of character development; they set an individual on their own path and provide a unique motivation for them.  Having Character A struggle with sobriety while Character B learns to be a more patient mother can do a lot to separate their stories and personalities from each other.  Even if certain flaws don’t reach a point of growth, they create a third aspect to personality and force us, as writers, to be more creative with how our characters get from Point A to Point B, and what they screw up along the way.
  • Fears – Everyone has fears, whether we’re conscious of them or not – and I’m not talking about phobias or “things that give you shivers”.  Just like everyone has a primary motivation throughout life (romance, family, success, meaning, peace of mind, etc.), everyone has a fear behind that motivation (loneliness, failure, emptiness, anxiety).  We all have something we don’t want to happen places we never want to be and things we never want to do.  We’ve all been in situations that mildly bothered others but wildly affected us at the same time.  For me, it’s a lack of autonomy, or in any way being forced to do something or be somewhere against my will.
    What does this mean for me?  It means that when other people have nightmares about being chased by an axe murderer, I have nightmares about being kidnapped and locked up.  It means that I’m continually aware of my “escape plan” if something goes wrong in my living situation, and I’m hypersensitive to someone telling me, “You have to do this.”  It means I struggle to follow rules and usually don’t get along with authority figures because I have to assert my independence to them.  It’s irrational and continual and doesn’t just affect me in one situation; it subconsciously directs my steps if I let it.  That’s how real, guttural fears work. Phobias are only skin deep, and they don’t make you feel any closer to the character.

Originally posted by giantmonster

  • Secrets – Even goody two-shoes Amber from the swim team, with her blonde blonde hair and her good good grades, has a secret.  Everybody does, even if it’s not a purposeful, “I have a deep, dark secret,” sort of secret. We have things we don’t tell people, just because they’re embarrassing, or painful, or too deep to get into, or they don’t paint us in a good light.  While the secrets themselves tell a lot about a person, so do the reasons a person keeps a secret.  Hiding something out of shame suggests a person is prideful, or critical of themselves, or holds themselves to a higher standard than they hold others.  Hiding something painful suggests that the person struggles to handle sadness or regret, or that they feel uncomfortable showing raw emotion in front of loved ones. And so on and so forth.
  • Conflict – Whether internal, interpersonal, legal, moral, societal, or what have you, conflict will limit your character’s actions at every turn.  A story is nothing without conflict driving the plot in different directions and causing your character to rethink both their plans and their lifestyle.  Without Katniss’s moral conflict over killing other tributes, The Hunger Games would be the story of a girl who entered an arena, killed a lot of people, and lived the rest of her life rich and comfortable.  If Luke Skywalker didn’t have interpersonal conflict with Darth Vader, Star Wars would be the war-story of a guy who joined a rebellion and then… yeah.
  • Health – Physical, mental, and emotional health is a huge limiting factor for characters that often goes untouched, but it’s valuable nonetheless.  Not everyone has a clean bill of health and can jump off trains without pulling a muscle, go through a traumatic life experience without any hint of depression or anxiety, or watch a loved one die in gunfire and shove right on without emotional repercussions. Consider creating a character who’s not perfect – who isn’t perfectly in-shape or abled, or neurotypical or stable day-to-day, or completely clean and clear of residual heartache, unhealthy relationships, or bad emotional habits.  Don’t define them by these traits, of course – but don’t feel that you can’t write a character with health issues without writing a “sick character.”

So this post got ridiculously long, but I hope it works as a reference for you when creating unique characters.  Remember that you don’t need to outline all of this information to create an individual, realistic character.  These are just some relevant ideas to get you started!  It’s up to you, as the writer, to decide what’s necessary and what’s excessive for your creative process.

Still, I hope a majority of this is helpful to you!  If you have any more questions, be sure to send them in and we’ll get back to you :)  Good luck!

- Mod Joanna ♥️


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask us!

what they don’t always tell you about T within informed consent sheets, a better post

since the one going around is filled with blatant misinformation and exaggerated tales of horror to the point that i question whether its intent was good.

the first thing to expect, is that your experience will be unique. there are hundreds of factors to how hormones change your body, and while you will find people with experiences like yours, you will have a different experience. so while this is a general guideline, your experience may be that you don’t experience these things, or that you experience them with intensity. it’s so, so varied. 99% of the stuff they put on informed consent forms is prefaced with ‘YOU MIGHT -’. 

  1. regarding the smells, yes! you will smell different! that is a fact. the hormones are different in your body now, you will start to smell more like what you’d expect from people who have similar amounts of testosterone in their bodies. it can be a little weird, but it’s nothing that deodorant (and sometimes cologne, if you want!) won’t cover up and it’s nothing that’s abnormal and it’s nothing that every other human being doesn’t experience. everyone smells! you just happen to smell different than you used to.
  2. when facial hair grows, when hair everywhere else grows, you can get itchy. my face gets itchy, my head gets itchy, especially when it’s hot it can get frustrating, but it’s no cause for panic. some people might get itchier than others, but it’s just something you’ll deal with and it’s not all that bad. you’ll get used to it and think about it less and less as your body situates.
  3. binding, as with any thing you put on your chest, can cause acne! i’ve seen no difference in wearing sport bras and binders in regards to acne, i’m a DD chest, it’s just what happens when you sweat and compress your chest. having some acne between your boobs is normal, having some on your back is normal, just try to leave it alone and take showers (you can take showers without washing your hair every day if that’s an option!), it’ll be okay.
  4. as with, well, puberty, you’re going to have ups and downs of hunger. sometimes i can just never stop eating! sometimes i don’t feel hungry at all. it’s good to keep track of how much you eat generally and try not to overeat, but you might get cravings for more carb-heavy foods because puberty 2 takes a lot of energy for your body! eating more than normal is, well, normal. drinking a lot of water and things like orange juice can help even this out and it will benefit you in a lot of ways (like keeping your immune system healthy).
  5. your clit will probably grow. it can be kind of jarring, but it’s something you get used to, and everyone experiences this one with a WIDE range of difference. some people only get an inch or so in growth (mine is huge now and it’s still so weird but also so cool), some people can have their clit grow to much bigger! some people can feel their boners, some people get morning wood, and you might feel it in your pants and wearing tight underwear might not be the best in that case, try wearing boxers and loose clothes around the house as much as you can, as well as not wearing your binder too much.
  6. voice drops happen so suddenly you won’t even see them coming, but once the first one happens, you can get a feel for it. usually your voice cracks for a couple weeks/months, SUDDENLY gets deeper, levels off, then cracks again, repeat. it can be sudden, and it also creeps up on you. try keeping logs of your voice, you’ll be so shocked at the difference that only a few months can make! also, people around you will notice your voice changes before you do unless you’re constantly going back on old videos. 
  7. acne is inevitable. to what degree? totally dependent on the person. genetics and health play a big role. you’ll get acne in places you haven’t before, but eventually it will level out. it’s not going to be forever, you have to keep in mind this is second puberty and puberty means random and weird shit! like unfortunate acne! it will pass. try to ignore it as much as you can. 
  8. my period stopped at 4 months in. occasionally, i still get phantom cramps. not for very long usually, but you have to remember that your body has a rhythm, and you’re interrupting that. it’s going to take a while for it to switch gears! talk to your endo/doctor if your pains are excruciating to the point of hospitalization/etc because that can be a sign that something is wrong. also, you usually do blood tests every few months to make sure the hormones are working fine. my periods when i started T ranged from no pain at all and debilitating pain, and i’m someone who previously had extremely painful periods. this gets less common over time! 
  9. try not to do any drugs/alcohol before getting your blood tests done. my endocrinologist knows that i do have weed occasionally and so far that hasn’t been a problem but i think drinking is something you should avoid with blood tests coming up for your safety so they don’t report problems that aren’t there. you’re not going to get in trouble for any of this, you just need to tell them.
  10. every person has a different T dose. i take 100 every other week because of various things: my size, my weight, how the hormones already are in my body. i know some people who are on 200, some who are on 50 weekly, it depends on what your PROFESSIONAL DOCTOR thinks is safe for you, and they WILL adjust accordingly if the need arises between both of you. taking more T than you’re prescribed with the intention of getting quicker effects will actually slow the process and make your body produce more estrogen and can hurt you. you don’t want that! 
  11. it’s not shameful to set up appointments for your shots or not be able to do them yourself, and if you do them yourself it’s okay to mess it up. believe me, i have. every injection is different, but you get a feel for it and mess up less. they would not let you do it at home if it wasn’t safe enough. just watch videos, know what you’re getting into. getting blood drawn hurts more for me than my T shots. it’s okay that sometimes it takes you forever, or no time at all. T shots are your thing and your experience and your choice on how is the most comfortable for you. most doctors prescribe different injection sites based on what they think is best, all of them work. one person doing it in their leg doesn’t negate that it also works in the ass but if you’re told to do it one way, stick to that or talk it out with your doctor to come up with an alternative! the amount of blood that comes out of the injection site is different with each one, the angle is different, and i would HEAVILY SUGGEST sitting down for a while after a shot. one of my shots, i stood up right after and after about 5 minutes of walking i noticed oil just, coming out of the site and down my leg. it was horrible. gravity is your friend and also your enemy, use it wisely. the level of pain with each shot is different too, and remember that needles are supposed to only be put in something once. if you fuck up an injection and pull out too fast or anything, switch out the needle because if you don’t, the tip is more blunt (you probably won’t be able to tell with your plain eyes) and will hurt much more than the first time. shots are weird, each one is an entirely different beast but you’ll get it down. 
  12. T can make you more emotional. REMEMBER - puberty 2! it’s not going to turn you into a raging frothing beast, but if you’re already prone to anger, already prone to frustration, it’s going to happen! i’m prone to getting claustrophobic and stressed out, and T has made that worse, but over time i’ve come to manage it and over time it evens out and i experience it less and less. with hormones comes mood shifts. it’s perfectly reasonable and it’s easier than puberty 1, since you can see it coming and can calm yourself down easier and you know what’s causing it. i get frustrated more easily sometimes, but i sit down, breathe, and know that it’s the hormones, and it makes it SO MUCH easier to deal with.
  13. your genitals in general might get drier. might be the opposite. mine is the latter. my libido is NUTS, it can be weird, but for some people it’s not like that. again, completely dependent on the person. either direction or no change at all, you can expect anything. 
  14. your immune system is weaker and your body is putting a lot of energy into these changes. be aware of that, please for the love of all that’s good wash your hands, stay clear of sick people as much as you can, and try to eat and drink healthy, generally. you might catch colds and the colds can turn worse than most, but being hygienic is the best way to prevent any of that. 
  15. if you stop T, your periods will come back. some medications can’t work with T like some birth control, and before starting any medication please check in with your doctor before to make sure that it’s safe. use your best judgment and be conscious of your health.
  16. T is not an overnight experience. changes take a long time, some longer than others, and being patient is incredibly important. don’t get frustrated at your body, it’s doing it’s best. you’ll get there, some slower and some faster than others. it’s different for everyone. but you WILL get there if you want to get there. 
transcript of the speech i gave at Vassar’s black baccalaureate service

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and the Vassar class of 2017.
Just saying that aloud made me feel old. Class of 2017? Most of y'all were born after dark-skinned Aunt Viv left the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That’s wild.

I want to first thank you for allowing me to be a part of such a special moment in your lives. I am honored, privileged, and a bit in disbelief that you asked me of all people to give this address. I try not to have feelings, and I’m going to do my best not to cry today, but no promises.

I’m here to stand in the gap between you and your parents and guardians and any other elders in your lives that you stopped listening to because you thought they were wack and out of touch. I remember being in your shoes not TOO long ago, and it is my fervent prayer that something that I say here today will help you avoid some of the mess I went through.
To be honest I’m a little nervous, but I figured there was no way could this be worse than when Betsy DeVos went down to Bethune-Cookman, so let’s get started.

As you transition to life after Vassar the changes will be both inevitable and swift, so I’d like to begin by giving you some well-intentioned advice and warning you about the continued process of becoming an adult.

Keep reading

You’re His Ex Girlfriend and You See His New Girlfriend Wearing Your T-Shirt

Masterlist linked in bio


If there’s one thing Y/n can’t stand, it’s pity. Which is unfortunate for her, considering that’s all she’s been receiving ever since Harry had broken up with her.

Between her family, her friends, and long-known acquaintances, the pity was never ending. The looks people gave her whenever she occupied a room made her sick to her stomach. Nobody looked at her the way they used to as if their perception of her has been altered from a beautiful, humble woman to a broken heart on legs.

Talking to people didn’t help much, either, considering their irrational fear that one harsh tone could wreck what’s left of her. To those, her identity and name have seemed to be forgotten, only to be replaced by “the girl left with a broken heart, who’s heart has failed to mend.”

It’s all a myth, really—a myth that hasn’t been confirmed or denied within the past four months. Y/n provided no reassurance for anybody, nor did she show any improvement since their break up. But she did try her best. Her attempts to answer the question, “how have you been, you know, since the breakup and all?” with an “I’ve been okay” filled with lies didn’t go unnoticed, however, proved to be unsuccessful.

And the pity only got worse when Harry got a new girlfriend.

It was plastered everywhere, the rumors that Harry’s new girlfriend stayed at his hotel in Los Angeles and traveled with him back to London. They disclosed that her name was Jessica, who works as a travel blogger.

She was beautiful, too. More beautiful than she wanted her to be, as selfish as it was. She was the perfect image for him, especially at the height of his career.

Y/n’s heart hit rock bottom that day. Every unblemished part of it became a ruin, a shattered piece of what was once so full and whole.

Y/n hadn’t expected it, not this fast, at least. When Harry initiated the breakup, he told her that it wasn’t the end of their relationship. He had promised her that with the right amount of distance, all the problems they’ve had in their relationship would be fixed entirely.

She believed him, too. That with maybe some time apart, their bitterness towards each other would decease, and all that would remain would be the overwhelming needs for one another.

She should have never been so gullible. After they broke up, they never spoke to each other again. All their ties had been cut, leaving them both hanging in completely separate lives. Y/n never got over him. How could she? They were soulmates, they were each other’s everything. No matter what came at them, they always found a way back to one another.

But Harry’s fame started skyrocketing, leaving Y/n on the ground with no way to reach him anymore. She should have known he’d find someone else—someone more worthy of his time. She just didn’t want to believe it and didn’t want to believe that it had happened so soon.

“How are you feeling?” Gabby asks, reaching over the wooden table so that her fingers can rest on top of Y/n’s hand; a small gesture that Gabby has been giving Y/n nearly every day for the past four months.

Y/n wishes she found it as comfortable as it intended to be, however she can’t help feeling worse whenever Gabby did so. The gesture undoubtedly derives from the pity Gabby has had toward her ever since the breakup. Everything was because of pity.

She looks down at her cold, untouched hot chocolate as she swirls the straw along the brim, resisting to roll her eyes as it’s the only question everybody has seemed to ask her recently.

“The usual,” she shrugs, “nothing’s really changed.”

Gabby gives her a half smile before returning to her tea. The cafe is only occupied by the both of them, considering it’s 7 in the morning on a Sunday. But after everything that’s happened, Y/n’s sleep schedule has been slacking and Gabby wanted nothing more than to be there for Y/n whenever she had the chance.

“Are you sure you don’t want any food?” Gabby asks. “It’s on me if you want anything.”

Y/n shrugs again, a faint yawn falling from her mouth as she shakes her head.

“No, I’m okay. I think I’ll make some waffles when I get home. But I’ll need to stop at the grocery store before I leave. Ran out of milk and flour the other day.”

“We could stop by now if you’d like. I’m getting quite full, anyways.”

“Yeah, sure” Y/n nods, “sounds fine.”


The entrance doors chime when Y/n and Gabby enter the grocery store, barely any people filling the aisles at such hours. Neither of them speak much before they go their separate ways, grabbing all the necessary ingredients Y/n needs for when she gets home.

When she finds flour on one of the bottom shelves, Y/n bends down to grab the cheapest one she could find. In all honesty, she didn’t have a lot of money to spend since she took some time off of work for “mental health reasons,” and she wanted nothing more than to go back home and spend the rest of her day in bed.

When she stands back up from her squatting position, her body rams into somebody else’s, making everything they both were carrying fall onto the floor.

“Oh shit! I’m so sorry!” Y/n gasps, scrambling to pick up the ingredients that have fallen from the girl’s arms.

When Y/n stands back up to return her fallen items, it was as if every nightmare Y/n has ever had was standing right in front of her.

She’d recognize her face anywhere. It haunted her everywhere she went; mocking her and destroying every last bit of her wellbeing. Her face is unforgettable, having been ingrained into her head for so long now. She’s exactly how she is in her pictures, except she’s so much more beautiful in person.

It’s when Y/n’s eyes drift down to the shirt she’s wearing that takes the breath right from her lungs.

The word Lover printed inside of a red heart, the end of it hidden by the pocket right on her chest. It looked so unfamiliar on her—so unfamiliar that tears started piling in her eyes and her lips began to quiver.

That shirt was theirs. That shirt belonged to Y/n and Harry.

Lover.

It was a nickname Y/n always gave Harry. She would have normally settled for “babe” or “baby” like she did with her previous boyfriends, but “lover” came so naturally to her. It exemplified just how unique and rare their relationship was, too.

Harry had never been called that before, but there was something about it that felt so right. The first time she called him that, he blushed like no other. His cheeks and heart felt so warm, and Y/n wouldn’t let him hear the end of it. But no matter how much she joked about how much he blushed that night, it only made her call him that more.

And the more she said it, the more she realized that there was no other name to describe him.

She gave him the shirt for their first anniversary. She was insecure about it, considering it was the only gift she purchased him that year and wasn’t nearly as expensive as all the gifts Harry had given her. But after all the flowers she received had died months later, after all the chocolate he bought her had been eaten in two nights, after all the in-home spa treatments had been used by the both of them progressively throughout the months, and after all the sex they shared died down by the next morning, the only gift that remained so dearly to their hearts was that goddamn shirt.

The shirt became sentimental to their relationship and was almost used as a keepsake between the two of them. The mornings after making love, Y/n found herself slipping it on before rolling out of bed to make breakfast. Harry fell in love with her tendency to do so and always made sure she knew just how much he loved her for it.

This is my favorite look on you, he’d always say, where the shirt hung loosely from her frame and her skin scattered with the marks from his tongue.

Harry wore the shirt as a tradition, most commonly on their anniversaries or on any specific date that held such significance to their relationship. And every time Y/n saw him wearing it, she found it irresistible to kiss the heart designed right upon his chest.

My lover, she’d say, looks so perfect on you.

She never imagined anybody else in it. Even after they had broken up, she never thought the shirt would be passed down to later relationships Harry had with other women. When she moved out, he kept insisting that she should be the one to take it.


He looked down at the shirt all crinkled in his hands, the last compromise they had to make before Y/n officially moved out of their home. Her suitcases were packed neatly by the front door, the darkened sky from the storm waiting to approach making the house feel colder than it already had turned.

Y/n’s body was slumped against the doorframe, arms crossed and eyes red with inevitable tears as they were forced to face the harsh reality of what was to come.

After three years of a relationship neither of them expected to end, Harry had insisted that they take a break from each other. With his career coming to its peak and Y/n spending most of her time in the office, their relationship was going through a rough patch that lasted far too long.

“You paid for this, you know,” Harry whispered, obstructing the silence that seemed to make the air around them thicker and harder to breathe, “this is yours, always has been.”

Y/n shook her head, a few loose tears falling from her face as she did so. In all honesty, she didn’t want to be reminded of it after this. It’s held so much meaning between the two of them throughout a majority of their years being together that she couldn’t stomach the thought of looking at it in her selection of wardrobe. Not when Harry won’t be by her side, not when Harry won’t be apart of her life anymore.

She placed her hand on top of his softly, stroking the knuckles of his clenched fingers with her thumb.

“It was ours. But when it comes down to it, I bought it for you. It was a gift, you should keep it.”

Harry clenched his fingers harsher against the fabric, his quivered lips attempting a small smile as he lifted it to his chest. His thumb traced the heart above the pocket, watching as one of his tears soak into the material.

“It looks better on you anyways.” Y/n tried to laugh through the silent cries, but neither of them had the heart to make light of the situation they were facing.

Harry’s eyes narrowed down at her while a small sigh fell from his lips.

“You know I’d never wear this again, right? Not until we find our way back to each other.”

Y/n’s shaken hands wiped the tears from her cheeks, her lips pursed together to ensure her broken sobs wouldn’t surface until she was alone in her car.

“Yeah, until we find our way back.”

She stood on her toes to reach his cheek, where she tentatively placed a kiss on the flushed skin.

“You’ll always be my lover.”


But looking back at it now, she wouldn’t be standing in the middle of a grocery store, crying pathetically in front of a complete stranger if she had just taken the damn thing.

How could he do this to me?

“Babe, are these eggs alr—“

Harry’s words get caught in his throat when he sees Y/n standing in front of Jessica with tears streaming down her face and cries shaking her body.

At first, his instinct is to reach his hand out to her. But as his eyes follow her tearful gaze to Jessica’s shirt, which is far too large for her frame, but still being worn on her body, the realization hits him that it’s probably the last thing she would want.

He flutters his eyes shut as an unbearable feeling starts to rise in his stomach. This is the most unfortunate time to see Y/n again, and he can’t imagine how much hatred flowing through Y/n’s system as he stands there, cowardly silenced.

Not a word comes out of his mouth. Not even a pathetic stutter of her name, or even a lift of his lips to greet her in the most minimal of ways.

The only thought swirling through Y/n’s mind is how could you not say anything to me? After everything you did, after what I’m witnessing now, how is there not one word to say?

He watches as pain settles in her eyes as she looks at him. It’s as if she’s begging for an explanation, or even an apology he doesn’t really mean. She’s just looking for something, and knowing that she’s not getting anything is taking all the remaining life out of her.  

But he has so much to say. There are so many apologies, so many thoughts all scrambling in his head that everything becomes incoherent. He wants to tell her how sorry he is, and how hard it is to live with himself after all that he’s done to her. He wants to tell her that he never gave her that fucking shirt, that Jessica found it in one of his drawers and put it on while he was still sleeping from the night before. He wants to tell her that it isn’t what it looks like, that it isn’t what everybody thinks this is. But his throat tightens and his tongue suddenly becomes numb, completely preventing him from saying all the things he wishes to say.

“Y/n, is everything alr—”

Gabby halts when she discovers Y/n’s crying body being watched by the very two people that broke her heart. She’s breaking, so evidently breaking and neither one of them are doing anything about it.

“I w—want to go home.” Y/n’s voice cracks, face twisting as Harry still doesn’t find anything to say to her. “Let’s just go home.”

If Gabby hadn’t witnessed her best friend go through so much pain within the last four months, she would have been able to contain all the rage she’s held toward Harry. But something inside of her snaps when she sees the shirt Jessica’s wearing.

“No!” Gabby spits.

Before anybody sees it happening, Gabby slams her fists against Harry’s chest. Jessica begins to scream while Y/n jumps in an attempt to remove Gabby’s wild arms away from him.

Harry doesn’t do anything to defend himself, though, as he allows her to keep swinging her arms at him. All he can think about it how much he deserves it—how much he deserves all of what’s coming at him.

“You’re such a fucking jerk, Harry!” Gabby roars. “You ruined her! Who the fuck do you think you are?!“

“Gab, stop.” Y/n mumbles, finally able to capture her arms.

Gabby squirms as she tries to escape Y/n’s harsh hold on her, but against Y/n’s anger mixed with all her overwhelming emotions, there is no match.

Y/n starts to push Gabby toward the doors, and it takes every bit of strength left in her to not turn around to look at him one last time. 

“You’re her biggest mistake! I hope you know that!”

anonymous asked:

In ur opinion what's the camren timeline look like ? Like when'd they date or take a break whoa date and break rhyme

I’m giving you the big lines… jk, it’s basically a whole fanfic 😂

2012 : Camila and Lauren meet on x-factor - instant attraction between them but neither of them wants to admit anything - it’s just a crush at this point - they become best friends through the course of the show - Lauren is also dating Keaton at the time 

2013 : Fifth Harmony is reunited and starts touring, the friendship is still there and strong. Camren is a playful ship, they interact on twitter and don’t hesitate to show affection. It’s Camren yo!  

Camila and Lauren spend more and more time together, feelings grow and it shows on camera - I believe Camila was more accepting of those feelings while Lauren had a little more trouble with them, probably already questioning her sexuality (at this point neither of them has admitted to anything)

While all of this is happening, the Camren ship as a romantic pairing takes off and as the fandom gets bigger so does the ship until it eventually reaches the girls. Lauren gets scared because she probably feels like her sexuality is written on her forehead and she’s not ready for that, plus she’s probably scared of losing Camila’s friendship and ruining their public image. That was the time when Lauren started lashing out at the fandom, calling us delusional and stating clearly that she was not bisexual. Camila, witnessing how hard Lauren is against any romantic association with her, is very hurt ( I think at this point she already had very strong feelings for Lauren) and starts distancing herself from her (that’s around June/July). Maybe Lauren thought Camila wanted to distance herself because it’s Camila who didn’t want to be associated romantically with her, which pissed Lauren off even more because she thought “Camren” was the reason she was losing her best friend. 

They stay distant until the end of the year - Lauren starts dating Luis, maybe a way to get Camila off her mind ( there are theories out there about Lauren and Luis’s relationship being p.r to shut down Camren, I guess it’s always a possibility). Anyhoo, during that time Camila’s feelings only grow stronger, probably pushed also by jealousy and I think eventually she confessed her feelings to Lauren, which Lauren couldn’t reciprocate since she was in a relationship.

2014 : little time has passed since Camila confessed her feelings and Lauren probably can’t get her out of her mind - I think that’s the reason why she eventually broke up with Luis. Once that was done, Lauren returned Camila’s feelings and there you have it : Camren finally together!

They probably shared their first kiss, which was also Camila’s first kiss, at that time - since Camila says her first kiss was at 16 (not sure since it changes every two interviews 😂) then the kiss must have happened either in January or February.

By March/April they’re full on together, they go on “dates” - the most famous one is the 1975 concert.

They both realize they’re very serious about this relationship and slowly tell their families about it (Sinu probably knew since day one 😂) - eventually the management finds out. Of course, tiny problemo, you can’t possibly have two members of a still very new girl group publicly in a lesbian relationship, no sir. To add to the situation, the Camren fandom is getting bigger, starts its own detective agency. 

I think the girls fought hard to be able to actually stay together, even if it had to be behind closed doors. They probably had to negotiate a lot, and part of that negotiation was for one of them to have a good p.r boyfriend, and unlucky us, they’re about to go on tour with Austin Mahone aka Dorito Boy.

The “relationship” between Dorito and Camila is sold to the medias - they’re just asked to appear together outside a few times, hold hands and that’s that - but it was probably already too much for jelly Lern who decided to shut this down real quick, which is why it only lasted like 3 weeks - the break up is staged and sold to the medias as well.

Since a p.r boyfriend for Camila is not an option anymore, maybe a p.r boyfriend for Lauren will work better - oh and look who’s coming with them on tour soon, the Vamps! The p.r relationship is put in place with asshole Brad - my own personal theory is that maybe he didn’t know exactly what the p.r was for and he started actually wanting to date Lauren for real but she shut him down, probably revealing her relationship with Camila, hence the song “I found a girl” - they had to stop the p.r there, and because asshole Brad got his little asshole pride hurt he then went on to basically say Lauren was a slut in an interview with his little dicks asshole bandmates. 

Anyway, moving on. While all of this p.r is happening, Camila and Lauren try to navigate their own relationship while having to stay hidden and pretending in front of the world. Not an easy thing to do while at the same time having to deal with the pressure of touring and the fandom who’s always watching. 

Eventually I think Camila wanted to end all of it and come out. Probably by letting themselves “caught” making out or something, since the label/management would never let them properly come out. Slight problem, Lauren doesn’t want to, she’s not ready and there’s too much at stakes. We all know Camila is a dreamer, an optimist, and she tries to convince her but nothing does it. 

2015 : They eventually break up over it beginning 2015, knowing it might be the only way to salvage their friendship, for the good of 5H. They were both probably incredibly hurt by that break up.

(We enter The Hurting 😉 )

Basically that whole year was about them trying to get over each other while remaining friends for the sake of the group. That’s why we still get lingering looks, smiles and hidden touches… because who on earth could get over someone they still love if they have to see them everyday? 

A whole lot of shit also happens when Camila does her first solo collab with Shawn - she receives hate from “fans” like she’s never received before. The girls aren’t allowed to support her publicly because the perspective of a feud is more appealing to the medias so management plays that card.

Basically a really dark time for Camila, where she ends up writing “I Have Questions” in an hotel bathroom before she stops writing altogether. I think it’s a period where Camila’s anxiety really shot up and became a real problem for her, which is also probably why she distanced herself from the girls, to not bother them with her problems, and also obviously to stay away from Lauren.

I think eventually the girls went through to Camila and did everything to support her.

(We enter The Healing)

Somehow Camren found a way to really rebuild their friendship, which was always laced with quite a bit of flirting.

2016 : Lauren tries to get her girl back. And it takes a while 😂. I think they started an on/off casual kinda thing because Camila wasn’t ready to go down that road again probably because she was scared of getting hurt and also because she knows they will be in the same situation they were before, having to hide. But what can you say? The heart wants what the heart wants, and I think eventually they did officially get back together somewhere in the middle of 2016. 

(We enter the Loving *behind closed doors*)

If now Lauren feels more comfortable with her sexuality and the prospect of coming out - the problem now resides in Camila’s upcoming solo career - they already know 7/27 will be Camila’s last album with 5H. Coming out at this point in the game would be a public suicide. There’s no way in hell it’s happening. 

So instead Camila makes the deal of playing the “straight” girl image as much as the label wants if it means her and Lauren can be together behind doors.

A few months roll out, Camila’s departure is coming soon and the label needs to get ready for the “after Camila” - and the person who comes after Camila is Lauren. Now, how to make Lauren become even more popular? What could make medias talk about her? A little weed in her bag? Yes, but it’s not enough, she needs to make an impact. What could be more impactful than a well prepared coming out? Oh I know! You pair it up with a letter against the biggest enemy of the country at the moment, Donald Trump. 

But you can’t just risk that out of nowhere, you need to test the waters first, see how the fandom would react to Lauren’s coming out  - enters Lucy.

Now, Lucy has been Lauren’s best friend for years, she obviously knows about Camren and I believe she was also friends with Camila. The fandom knows Lucy, we’ve seen her with Lauren on multiple pictures, Lauren calls her her “sister”. Choosing Lucy to be Lauren’s love interest is a very smart move because there’s tons of “proofs” to back it up and for the fans to create a timeline of. Obviously the Laucy timeline will also have the benefit of discrediting the Camren timeline since Lauren couldn’t have possibly been with both girls at the same time. 

So, to test the waters, a photo of Lauren and Lucy kissing at a party is purposely leaked - the fact that the picture was taken at party is important because if the fandom and the medias don’t react the way the management expects them to, you can always say the kiss was just a kiss between to best friends who had a bit too much to drink at a party. Turns out the fandom reacts exactly like predicted, they embrace Lauren for who she is, they defend her against the people who “outed” her, she’s the new hero. That’s why only a few weeks later they give the green light for her to fully come out through a politically incline letter.

You might be wondering why would Camila, Lauren and Lucy accept such a plan? Well in Camila’s case it shuts down the Camren rumors which helps her keep her straight image up, plus it gives the woman she loves the opportunity to finally be herself. Lauren gets to finally come out and be proud of herself while at the same time protecting her girlfriend’s upcoming solo career. And finally Lucy gets to be known by the fandom and the LGBT community, putting her name out there before she releases her first album. 

So here we are, end of 2016 - Lauren is out and in a supposed relationship with her best friend, Camila is still playing the straight girl wanting a spanish boyfriend, while Camren is still together and in love behind the scenes. 

And now, it’s time to say goodbye. It’s all planned out, a feud is going to happen, Camila’s exit will be a dramatic one. Dinah leaves us little hints a few days prior, Normani cries before their last performance as a five piece and then it starts. 4 statement letters is all that everybody needs to believe everything went wrong, 4 letters is all that everybody needs to believe that a 4 year friendship ended in a day. 

2017 : radio silence for a weeks - Camila gives an interview in which she says none of the girls are talking to her, they keep the feud game going. 

Now that Camila is gone, there’s no real use for Laucy anymore and even if Lauren is identifying as bisexual, the label would rather have her being in a p.r relationship with a man - they use a photoshoot and an interview to end it simply and boost Lauren’s image in the LGBT community - which they will also do by having Lauren collab with Halsey.

Her and Camila are still together, but obviously it’s getting even more complicated now that they can’t absolutely be seen together. 

The label wants a p.r boyfriend for Lauren and Ty Dolla Sign is in need of some headlines with his new album coming out this year. Her and Camila are already having a hard time maintaining their relationship because of how complicated things are with the “feud” and Camila having to stay in the closet, plus probably other unresolved issues between them - the new p.r plan is the last straw that breaks the camel’s back - they eventually mutually decide to break up and to try to figure themselves out without the other. Camila buries herself in work and Lauren parties away the pain. When Camren shippers keep coming at her from all sides she loses it and tweets that Camren “was never real, ever” to shut them down and probably to shut herself down too.

I still think they’re in touch, they keep each other updated on their lives, congratulate each other on the new projects.

I really do hope now that they both try to be with someone new, try to heal and figure out who they are without the other. I hope Camila gets to come out once her career is well established. I hope they can meet again in a little while and actually be together in open light and finally be able to be free to love each other.

The end, until the next chapter 😂

Again this is all theory, a big fanfic - saying this to all the haters out there, no need to bother sending me an ask, you’ll just be wasting your time ✌️

Barn Mates - One Year On

Barn Mates was first aired exactly a year ago today… and what a monumental episode it was for both Lapis and Peridot!

For those of us who were already shipping Lapidot, it was a dream come true – and for some of those who weren’t, it opened their eyes to a whole new (and now completely canonically viable) ship.

I’ve written about this episode a few times in the past, but it feels fitting to look back on it again today; for day one of Lapidot Anniversary Week!

So, without further ado…

The episode opens with Peridot wistfully speaking into her tape recorder about sharing her new home with Lapis.  Only a couple of episodes prior to this point, Peridot had made the decision to stay at the barn by herself whilst the other Crystal Gems returned to the temple. The fact that she now so enthusiastically wants to share her home with Lapis (as opposed to going back with the other Gems or staying by herself in the barn) just shows that she already has some level of admiration for Lapis.

Peridot says:

“Why don’t we watch the sun come up and figure out what we’re going to do with all this time, eh Lazuli?”

Watching the sun rise with someone is an old romantic tradition/cliché, so the fact that Peridot specifically mentions wanting to do this with Lapis certainly speaks some volumes.   And it also transpires…

…that this line was foreshadowing a scene that came later in the show – in Room For Ruby, not only are they watching the sun rise together (just as Peridot wanted to do), they’ve actually been sat together all night stargazing prior to this point, which is another activity that has obvious romantic connotations.

After Peridot has finished speaking into the tape recorder in Barn Mates, Lapis expresses her desire to live in the barn all on her own. Steven suggests that the barn be split down the middle, with each of the two Gems having their own “side”, which leads to a very interesting shot of the pair of them:

Notice how they’re effectively framing a picture that’s behind them.   This picture is of the barn’s previous owners – Greg’s aunt and uncle, who Greg described back in Space Race as follows:

“My aunt and uncle had a great love for aviation, and each other.  They cherished the years they spent together, and they held on to every belonging they ever owned.”

It’s interesting, then, that a picture of a happy couple has been placed directly in-between Lapis and Peridot in this shot.  This becomes something of a trend as the show progresses, with the picture being placed in-shot with Peridot and Lapis on occasion in a fair few other episodes, such as these:

This could well be foreshadowing a romantic relationship between Lapis and Peridot.  The fact that Greg mentions “aviation” is also something interesting to think about, considering that Lapis can fly and Peridot was the pilot of the Hand Ship back in Jailbreak.

Lapis isn’t keen on the idea of splitting the barn, telling Steven that Peridot is the problem:

“I can’t stand the thought of looking at her everyday!”

This statement is now somewhat ironic because, in the episodes since Barn Mates, Lapis almost always has her eyes on Peridot – and gives her some extremely suggestive looks, too!

Peridot and Steven both try to assure Lapis that Peridot has changed, but she doesn’t want to hear it. Steven thinks it’s “sweet” that Peridot wants Lapis to see how much she’s changed since their last encounter, and he helps her to make an apology card which has a very interesting picture drawn on the front of it:

Steven may well have the intent of getting Peridot and Lapis to be friends, but he’s drawn them looking like an actual couple here; they’re even holding hands.

Eventually, after some persuasion from Steven, Lapis joins them – and a beaming Peridot hands over the card.  This still fails to win-over an unimpressed Lapis, much to Peridot’s disdain.

“It took me over an hour to compose [the message in the card], and I was the most sincere as per Steven’s instructions!”

The fact that Peridot put so much time into her apology message gives us an indication of how highly Peridot thinks of Lapis – and how much she wants to make her feel better. She then spends some time deliberating what she could give to Lapis as a gift (upon Steven’s suggestion), and they come up with an idea…

“H-2-Oh my GOSH!” … “It’s a gift for you!  You know, ‘cause water’s your thing.”

Peridot’s mannerisms and tone of voice here are very flirtatious.  However, given Lapis’ previous traumatic experience of being trapped on the bottom of the ocean, this is another idea that falls completely flat.

And what does Peridot do?

“A pool?!  What a cloddy idea!  Of course she wouldn’t like that!”

She actually blames herself for the mistake.  This is very uncharacteristic of Peridot, who normally has a very lofty opinion of herself and her intellectual capacity – which, again, shows how highly she must think of Lapis.  She even uses the word “cloddy” to describe her own idea; with “clod” being an insult that she usually only ever levels at other people when she’s at her most angry.

She then decides to make a very grand gesture…

…and offers her most prized possession – the tape recorder – to Lapis as a gift.

She’s very flirtatious in doing so here, as well.  With a wink and a smile, she tells Lapis:

“See, the ribbon is even blue.  I got yo’ number!”

Peridot has offended all of the other Gems at some point in the past, but she’s never been seen to perform as grand a gesture as this one in order to win them over. 

Peridot is, in a lot of ways, incredibly materialistic - she has been shown on more than one occasion to hold her very few possessions really closely to her.  By Peridot’s standards, handing the tape recorder over is essentially the biggest thing she could do for someone, which is a very clear indication of her feelings towards Lapis.

This gesture is completely lost on Lapis, however, who proceeds to crush the tape recorder in her hand.

Usually in these situations, Peridot would be distraught that one of her possessions had been destroyed (see, for example, Peridot on her knees begging Amethyst not to throw away her beloved tablet in Too Short To Ride).  However, this time, she actually seems to be upset by the fact that she’s managed to upset Lapis once again, exclaiming:

“What, were you trapped in a tape recorder too?!”

Peridot is exasperated by this point, and gives a very heartfelt speech which, I believe, really gets to the root of one of the key reasons why a relationship between Lapis and Peridot just makes perfect sense:

“Look, I get it, you know?  You’re confused!  You can never go back to Homeworld.  This place doesn’t exactly feel like home yet.  You’re alone, no one could possibly know what that feels like!  Oh wait, I do!  We’re the same, except…  you don’t have to be alone.”

She and Lapis are going through the exact same thing at basically the same time; namely, being stranded on earth with no way of returning to Homeworld.  There’s literally no-one else who they could bond with over this, except for each other – it’s a common ground that they share with each other and only each other.  It’s logical and sensible storytelling, therefore, to have these two characters stick together and share the experience with each other.  It puts them on equal ground, gives them both an acute understanding of each other, and enables them to both support one another as they adjust to life on earth.

At this point in Barn Mates, however, Lapis still isn’t having any of it.  Peridot, clearly at her wits end, asks what Lapis wants from her.  Lapis angrily tells Peridot that she wants her to leave… and that’s exactly what Peridot does.  She wants Lapis to be happy so much that she’s even willing to give up her home so that Lapis can live there instead.

As she walks away, Steven reprimands Lapis for treating Peridot so badly.  As he’s talking, Lapis folds her arms and shifts on the spot, her gaze meeting the crushed tape recorder on the floor.  Everything about her body language in this scene exudes guilt.  

Peridot comes screaming back towards them moments later, however – being pursued by a Roaming Eye that she’s convinced is after her.    

The trio flee from the ship, but eventually come face-to-face with it, which causes Peridot to cower behind Steven in fear.

However…

…Lapis steps forward, and glances back at a wide-eyed Peridot.

This scene is very important because it’s the first time we ever get to see that Lapis does actually care about Peridot, despite the pair of them getting off to a very turbulent start.  She steps up to defend the helpless Peridot from the Roaming Eye, and makes sure to specifically ask Peridot if she’s ok after the threat has been neutralised – proving that she didn’t only have Steven’s interests at heart when she took out the Roaming Eye.

What happens next needs no introduction…

Originally posted by geekylaugifs

Peridot has still, to this day, never looked at anyone else with such love.  The way that her hands are clasped to her chest makes it the typical “cartoon character looking at their love interest” pose.  That smile on her face is literally the biggest one that she’s ever given.  And Lapis’ deep blush, that she actually turns her head away from Peridot in an attempt to hide, is also a reaction from her that’s unique to this scene – and very much implies that the apparent feeling of attraction is mutual.  There appears to be some symbolism behind the sun coming out as Peridot smiles, too.  This could well be an indication that Lapis is warming up to Peridot and seeing her in a new light.  It also has a somewhat poetic quality to it, with the storm clouds (both literal and metaphorical) dissipating at this very moment.  

Originally posted by giffing-amethyst

Steven picks up on what’s going on, giggling to himself as he looks at Lapis.  It’s also very interesting that Peridot’s loving look is still lingering even after the camera angle has changed – this is no fleeting “micro expression”, it’s a very prolonged and deliberate look…

…which was the first of very, very many that the pair of them have since gone on to give each other (the above images being a small handful of examples).

All in all, Barn Mates was the start of a very beautiful relationship between these two Gems, which has well and truly endured throughout the past twelve months – and has gotten ever stronger with each episode that they’ve appeared in together.

Sometimes John and Sherlock accidentally talk all night.

Like maybe the intention to go to sleep at a normal time was there, but then they get distracted.

11 PM: They finish the movie and it just naturally feels like time for bed. Teeth are cleaned, doors are locked, and they settle in between the sheets, and damn is the bed comfortable compared to the haphazard dog pile of limbs they had gotten into on the sofa.

“What did you think of the film?”

“Nice; very enjoyable.”

“Did I tell you it was my favorite when I was a kid?”

“No. Really?”

“Yeah. Would watch it on repeat.”

“Interesting. But it’s no longer your favorite?”

“Right. I dunno- I still love it, but not in the same way.”

“I understand. Your favorite now is that one Bond, um…Die Another Day?”

“Yeah.” John gives Sherlock a small, soft smile. He looks almost bewitched.

“What’s that look for?”

“It’s for you. ”

“Yes, but why?”

“Because it’s really nice to have someone remember things like that about me.”

1 AM: The discussion has shifted to favorites, and why they’re favorites.

“So you would rather listen to that same Rolling Stones album again and again for eternity than ever even trying something like Debussey?”

“Correct.”

“Alright, well, now I know.”

“You know what?”

“That we’re breaking up.”

They laugh.

2 AM: …and now they’re just naming things they like.

John: “Long car journeys”

Sherlock: “The smell of coffee.”

“You hate coffee.”

“I hate the taste of coffee.”

“You are a complex being.”

“Thank you.”

They laugh some more.

John: “Rainy mornings that last all day.”

“Me too.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“They’re lovely.”

“Why’s that?”

Sherlock fidgets with his lips, trying to figure out how to phrase his answer.

“Because you always wake me very…pleasantly… and often you continue waking me pleasantly for most of the morning…afternoon…even into the evening sometimes.”

“Do I? When it’s raining?”

“Yes. Not every time, but under a certain set of conditions I can, for the most part, look at the forecast for the morning the night before and know in advance whether or not I’ll be getting anything done the next day.”

John looks back at him, a concoction of surprise, then near embarrassment, then a sly smile.

“Interesting, see, I find that I get one thing in particular done consistently on those days.”

Sherlock snorts.

4 AM: The topic has shifted between worst hangover stories and crazy uni memories to some more difficult things, like John’s time in the service, and Sherlock’s addiction.

“We’ve sort of been dealt a few tough hands eh?”

“Truly.”

“Makes me want to take you away somewhere and just be relaxed for a bit.”

“I would agree to that in an instant.”

“Yeah? Let’s do that, then.”

“Fantastic idea!”

“I do get them on occasion.”

More laughter.

5 AM:

John is trying to work in to the concersation something he’s been wanting Sherlock to know for a long time. It’s difficult, though- he’s never really said anything like this- anything so personal.

“It says a lot about you, I think, that I can do things like this- stay awake all night, not having to be overwhelmed or rampant. You balance me, John.”

“Yeah..yeah I- I know what you mean. You also- I mean, you sort of…I don’t dread…my life to come…anymore. I used to think of all the days and years I had left to endure, wonder how I would fill them, hoping I could find something that wouldn’t feel so miserable, something to settle for, but you- fuck, Sherlock, I think back to that now and it feels like a horrible nightmare. I’m…more than just glad, to have found you. You- damn, this is hard, I-”

Sherlock ties his fingers with John’s and moves even closer.

"Take your time. No rush. No pressure. Anything you want to tell me, you can. You’re safe here.”

"I suppose…You umm…you made me rethink- my plans, for me, yes. But not only that, you also showed me a way of living so different from what I had known, so much better and full of richness, I look back at those days where I no longer wanted to be alive and think -it’s probably because I wasn’t alive. I had every responsibility and felt every drawback of life but was denied any of the good stuff. You showed me so much more than I ever knew was out there- you sort of saved my life by…showing me how to live it? That’s so cheesy, I-”

And now Sherlock is crying. So John starts crying.

6 AM: they’ve got themselves together by now and moved on to something a little lighter.

"Right…so, you mean to tell me that James Moriarty, criminal mastermind, scary man with an affinity for the latest in explosive fashion, still sleeps with a teddy bear?”

"Precisely.”

"How did you figure that one out?”

"It took a few-visits- to piece it together, mostly because I was in disbelief myself, but he shows signs of a stiff neck as if he sleeps in an extremely bent position with one arm hooked partially under himself, likely around a small item. Persistence of this soreness shows that he didn’t just sleep wrong once, he makes a habit of this position. But what really sealed the realization was the right thumbnail. Much shorter than all the others, wrinkled texture, dry skin around the edges where the rest of his finers are immaculately manicured. Exposed to moisture for long periods of time.”

"No fuckin way!”

"Oh yes. He sucks his thumb. What a terrifying creature.”

Hysterical laughter.

"I’m always curious what you could tell about me right away and what took you a bit longer.”

That’s a dangerous path John- not everyone wants to know what others can tell about them.”

"Yeah but I’m just tired enough to ask anyway.”

"Well, all the things I pointed out at Bart’s…then more and more about your childhood based on your dating habits…around a month after we moved in I had narrowed down the approximate size of your…tyre lever…”

"Really?”

"Well…I had underestimated, to be honest. Your stature is misleading, as I’m sure you know.”-

"So, that is to say, you were-”

"Incredibly anxious and then surprised in the best possible way.”

"I was going for ‘not disappointed’, but alright.”

"Not in the slightest. My God, not even a little. In fact, what’s the opposite of disappointed?”

"Satisfied?”

"More than.”

"Sated?”

"Never.”

7 AM: Talking has ceased. The sun seeps in at the sides of the drapes, pale and gray. It’s a bit chilly, but neither know- it’s aafe and warm in the bubble of their room.

Neither sleep until around noon, after tea and toast in bed- the rain hits the roof in steady droves, tapping occasionally at the window if the wind blows a certain way.

Sherlock gets absolutely no work done.
Happy Tuesday.

I’m calling it “Yurio Catches Puberty” as a working title. (PG for swearing and puberty.) (Warning for body image stuff, very minor.) 

***

“WHEN WILL THIS BE OVER?”

The scream of anguish from the rink’s locker room shower made Yuuri look up sharply. He’d only arrived in St. Petersburg yesterday, but this couldn’t be normal, even if nobody else seemed to be paying the slightest attention.

“AUGH!”

It was definitely Yurio.

“Yurio?” he started to ask, but Georgi clapped a hand over his mouth.

“Don’t engage,” he hissed.

Yuuri looked at him, wide-eyed.

“What’s going on?” he whispered, as Yurio began a steady, at least quieter stream of cursing in Russian, then English, then Japanese that Yuuri definitely hadn’t taught him.

“Puberty,” Georgi said.

Yuuri blinked. “Puberty?” he asked.

Georgi gave him a disgusted look. “Of course,” he mumbled to himself. “The golden boy didn’t suffer puberty…”

He wandered off, now also cursing, and Yuuri had ten seconds of silence before Yurio kicked the shower door open and strode out, towel around his waist.

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anonymous asked:

So Peggy starts the best bar fights? Elaborate, please.

oh man, those were the good old days. 

the howlies got in a lot of bar fights. you might think that the last thing a bunch of soldiers would want to do with their free time is fight people, but actually bar fights were a great stress relief. nobody really got seriously injured, and we tried to keep property damage to a minimum.  (and we also almost never started bar fights, for the record. most of the time it was guys from another unit who wanted to prove how badass they were by taking on the infamous howling commandos.) so bar fights themselves weren’t that unusual.

but peggy’s bar fights…oh, they were glorious. 

see, peggy never got in a fight for no reason; she was smarter than that. but when she did fight, it was truly beautiful. ive never seen a better right cross, before or since.

so one time we were on leave, sipping drinks in this english pub. the howlies were at the back table, enjoying a couple pitchers, while peggy was up at the bar, chatting with the barmaid. many of the bars and pubs back then had female bartenders–filling the gaps with the men off at war. and generally barmaids (which was what a female bartender was called back then) were the sort of girl pegs got along with–sensible, dependable, and not willing to take shit from any man. so she often enjoyed commiserating with the barmaids while we drank. she used to say she had to be free of us ‘charming gentlemen’ before she wound up blowing things up as erratically as we did. which was hurtful. our explosions were very intentional.
mostly.

so peggy got to chat about the best ways to hurl drunken idiots out doors and we got to ply steve with alcohol to see how much booze it would take to make him drunk. (tragically, we never found out.)

on this particular occasion, peggy was sitting at the bar when this mountain of a man came in. and i mean huge. thor-sized. like the hulk’s pinker younger brother. and with him came a dozen or so of his closest friends, all locals. (they may also have been poorly disguised orcs. im not sure, but i wouldn’t discount it as a possibility after seeing all the nonsense ive seen) the group of them made their way up to the bar, wedged their way in, and started harassing the barmaid. 

now, i don’t know what they said. peggy refused to repeat it. all i know is that one of the larger idiots said something stupid, laughed, and reached out to grope the barmaid. his hand made it about six inches from her chest when peggy’s fist broke his nose. he hit the floor like a tree falling, and the bar went quiet for a split second before one exceptionally suicidal idiot lunged at peggy.

everything went crazy. there were a good few dozen of us 107th guys in the bar, and all of us knew and adored pegs, so when the mountain-men went after her, every fine man of the 107th went after them. but it turned out that the locals defended their own, and we were pretty evenly matched for numbers. within seconds, everyone was throwing punches. bottles were thrown. dernier used a tablecloth to blind a man and threw him out a window. dumdum used one guy’s fists to hit another guy. i hurled bottlecaps at people’s eyeballs, because it’s fun.(im a sniper. we like distance) steve tried to wade through the chaos to get to peggy, but people kept punching him and then clutching their hands in agony, so he got kind of bogged down. 

at the bar, peggy was demonstrating exactly why she was the 107th’s darling–because she could put a grown man twice her size on the ground in two seconds flat. she knocked out six men; seven more promptly fell in love with her. 

as the chaos began to wind down, most of the locals had either been beaten down or fled, and only the mini-hulk and a couple others were left, brawling like berserkers. we were just about ready to turn steve loose on them when the barmaid handed peggy a stool. peggy took it, walked up behind where most of us howlies were still duking it out, and broke the stool over the big guy’s head. 

he went down hard. the rest of them surrendered out of terror. 

(and, possibly, they had also fallen prey to abruptly-in-love-with-peggy-carter syndrome. but really, who wasn’t?)

Thoughts on OITNB Season 5

The Good:

  • This season was a lot of fun. I never felt bored, and the pacing was just right. They made roughly four days (I think?) last 13 episodes, but I don’t feel as though anything was dragged out.
  • Red on speed was fucking hilarious. So many great lines out of her this season. “In Russia, we don’t have proverbs. We have vodka and misery.”
  • Young Red back story!
  • Soso’s memorial to Poussey.
  • The subtle social commentary/anti-gun message in the premiere, where every time someone asked/talked about the gunfire a different American mass shooting was referenced. Needless to say, there was a lot.
  • Taystee taking the fucking microphone from Judy King. 
  • Taystee repeating Poussey’s name over and over. Punching Caputo in the face for not doing so. A+
  • Taystee as a whole was pretty amazing this season, even if she eventually screwed everything up.
  • Linda becoming Boo’s girlfriend for five minutes but then ultimately getting completely fucked over.
  • Piper and Alex sticking mostly to mundane couple issues. Nothing hugely earth-shattering between the two of them. I was sick of the constant forced drama.
  • I feel like Piper made actual progress with her mother, and the fact that particular conversation lead to her impromptu proposal was awesome.
  • Nicky was clean, hilarious, and hot as hell. Couldn’t get enough of her this season, and loved seeing the real depths of her feelings for Lorna. The brief role reversal with her and Red was a fun trip as well.
  • Red and Blanca friendship was an unexpected treat.
  • FRIEDA
  • I could not love Gloria Mendoza more if I tried.
  • Alison was fleshed out, and I’m really starting to love her as a character.
  • Piper being a Slytherin, headcanon confirmed. 
  • Caputo being a badass in his negotiations with Fig. 
  • Chang peacing out. 
  • Ending the season with The Cinematic Orchestra’s “To Build a Home” – a better song choice doesn’t exist. I have always associated that song with this show. Bravo. The last five minutes gave me chills.
  • Cindy singing Suzanne to sleep, then later Cindy hugging Suzanne, apologizing, crying. I loved it.

The Bad:

  • I feel like the overall message with Suzanne was scattered and poorly handled, and while Uzo did an amazing job with what she was given, I feel like the writing wasn’t necessarily realistic in that it hasn’t been tackled what exactly Suzanne’s mental illness is, purely so the writers can twist her symptoms to fit the plot.
  • Unlike most people I’m not mad about the Piscatella back-story, but it felt incomplete to me. I feel like there is not enough explanation there. What happened to Wes? It seemed like given some of what Piscatella said that there must have been some kind of betrayal there. Given that he’s dead, we’ll probably never find out, but I just felt like there were pieces missing to his story.
  • I feel like Daya fell flat this season. Her characterization was all over the place until she gave herself up and quietly disappeared. 
  • Vinnie and Lorna are, as always, the cringiest. I guess that’s sort of the point, though.
  • I’m not sure what they were trying to do with the Nazis/Sankey? I don’t know if they were trying to endear us to them, but it felt…weird. Like their racism was purely situational and just seemed to disappear when it was convenient. I feel uncomfortable that they were played in a way that I wanted to like them, then felt horrified because Jesus, they’re FUCKING NAZIS
  • Black Lattes Matter would never be a meme
  • Sophia disappearing halfway through the season. Seriously? Her helping in medical was awesome. I would’ve loved to have seen more of that.

The Ugly:

  • Coates x Pennsatucky makes my fucking skin crawl. How can this be a thing? Why is this a thing? WHY IS SHE PAIRED WITH HER RAPIST AND WHY IS IT PORTRAYED AS CUTE?
  • The general rapeyness of how most of the male hostages were treated, mainly Stratman, Josh, and Luschyek. It dehumanized a lot of the girls for me and made me really uncomfortable.
  • Adding onto that: Angie and Leanne have become way too much. “I’ve raped guys before, and I could tell that was genuine.” What the fuck? Why did this need to be in there? I don’t understand how we are ever supposed to have any sympathy for these two ever again. Which is a shame with Leanne, because she has one of the more interesting back stories on the show.
  • Watching the guy who raped Wes Driscoll get burned alive was something I could’ve done without seeing. Hearing his screams would’ve been enough to get the point across.
  • Humps was creepy when he was alive, creepy when he was dying, and creepy upon death. Not sad to see him go. 
  • Piscatella torturing Red in front of her girls…Alex’s arm getting snapped…that whole episode was amazingly handled, but it was still really difficult to watch.
  • Caputo getting trapped in the POO for so long was really gross and disturbing. The man was literally locked in a piss/shit/puke filled porta-potty for days in what I’m pretty sure is summer or early autumn. 
  • Seriously, all of those guards are going to be permanently traumatized. What they were put through is sick.

TL;DR: This has been one of my favorite seasons yet, fun and brilliant, even if there’s an unfortunate amount of it I desperately wish I could un-see, and I feel some of it should have been handled differently.