and I think about being a mom one day

Why was this birthday magical?
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So many days of the year are so hard.  We see murder on the news , but no one follows the victims left behind around with a camera documenting how their lives change, forever.  I think about my mom every day, and I always will. And even if I don’t go directly to the memory of her being stabbed. It’s etched in my brain. It cannot be erased. This is my 11th birthday without her,…

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my campus is flooded with incoming freshmen rn with nametags and lanyards and both backpack straps on and i’m feeling a lot of Things about being a senior

i spent my first semester of college sobbing in various dorm rooms, eating barely one meal a day, basically living in an isolation chamber because i was too anxious to talk to anyone. i was quite literally at a breaking point re: being closeted - i came out to my mom by accident in a hysterical phone call at a bus stop bench, late at night in the freezing cold, and fumbled through saying “i think i might not be straight”

i wore a lot of dresses and hair bows, just like i had since i was sixteen, because i used ultra-femininity as a coping mechanism - i.e., “maybe if i dress like a Real Girl, i won’t be gay anymore” - until the thought of that made me nauseous, so i resorted to trying to disappear in jeans and sweatshirts.

and now i’m sitting in my bed in my off-campus house - The Off-Campus House, actually. The House i always saw as the place where the Cool Seniors in the drama department lived, where i was initiated into the honors frat i never thought i would be good enough to be a part of, and it’s my house. and during the year i’m going to live with some great friends i never expected to have, and i have a car out front that i can drive without wanting to throw up from nerves. i still wear skirts and lace and knee-high socks but i wear them with t-shirts and doc martens and i’ve chopped my hair off and i don’t shave anymore and i think i’ve finally found the balance of how femininely i want to dress without feeling like it’s a chore or a requirement after 22 years of velvet christmas dresses and being told that i wasn’t a Real Girl if i didn’t enjoy wearing heels to every party

anonymous asked:

I'm bisexual and I came out to my mom. She says it's just a phase and that someday I'll choose! She also thinks being gay is weird and I wish she would just accept me... Any thoughts?

Beyond just showing her articles and studies and resources proving the validity of bisexual people, there’s not much you CAN do..
Some people will just never change, and despite your best efforts, sometimes you have to accept that.
If you don’t think pushing the matter will cause anything bad to occur I encourage you to continue talking to her about it, and maybe one day she’ll see things your way.
- Casper

I woke up so down and aggravated.

Idk why it started but I’m staying that way bc I keep thinking about stuff. I choose to be happy, but like, the cloud won’t go away and it doesn’t care that I’m dressed for sunshine.

On the bright side, I’ve been feeling baby flutter around more lately 😍 (I felt them first at almost 13 wks). It was one of the most reassuring things about being pregnant with Storie when I was down. Suddenly feeling your little. Like they’re saying “it’s ok, mom. I’m here. It’s gonna be ok.” ❤

anonymous asked:

Hiiii, would it be a bad time to ask what your headcannons of Summer Rose is?

No its fine. I’m just slow to answer now since I got work all day. (And if there are typos, I’m on moblie)

Okay let’s get the I guess…sadder and hated ones out first.

1) I think summer is dead. I do not think she is alive. I’m not big on the ‘dead mom’ trope, it’s overdone, but I still think she’s dead.

A really big reason for this that just popped into my head, while if summer IS alive I see Ruby being happy, what about Yang? She had one mom up and leave, Blake leave, ruby leave, if summer is alive and comes back when she thought she was dead oh boy can I see her erupting in rage.

2) I don’t think she’s a maiden. I hate the maidens in general so there’s that going for me but I hate it.

(Happy stuff, sort of)

3) She’s bi af. She loved both tai and raven and was in a ploy ship with them.

4) Raven came to her to ask her to be the mom to yang/her unborn child and was the one she probably told the most too

5) I saved my favorite for last.

While yeah she probably was a little shy, Summer is more like Yang rather then Ruby. She could be a shit and tease others. Also, you mess with someone she cares about, she would suplex/punch/kick you into next week. Idk I laugh every time I think of little summer being like 'fight me!’ (Though she’s not like that all the time)

anonymous asked:

Please tell us about your ruined family vacations

ive probably ruined 3 vacations for myself by being on a laptop for like 8 hours a day AT LEAST

first time was due to me being addicted to playing garrys mod/cs 1.6

second time was due to mainly the same thing, with a pinch of always wanting t o talk to this one girl i had a thing for (i hate the word cringey, but it was pretty cringey thinking about it now)

third time was due to me playing europa universalis 3 with no ending point. this one especially sucked since i was on a cruise boat, but at least i walked around nassau with my mom when it stopped there

my mom wont say that its a problem since all she wants to do is sit by the pool/ocean and soak the sun, but its so bad that i refuse to take a laptop with me now. i cant imagine how many things ive missed due to me defaulting to being on the computer all day since its more comfortable to me than actually going outside and maybe talking to people.

if i could go back i would not bring laptops, since they distract me from my vacations. like, whats the point of me even being on vacation if im just going to do the same thing i do at home most days.


Have you ever not wanted to discipline your child because you felt bad about it? I have, but then I thought about what Grandma Mom used to say (IF YOU PLAY WITH A PUPPY LONG ENOUGH THEY WILL LICK YOU IN YOUR MOUTH). Now my baby girl is a very bright, and intelligent young lady, but her attitude stinks sometimes, and she thinks that the world is hers and nobody else matters. On this day she received an award for completing a science project that had something to do with butterflies and their 4 wings, and water being translucent. Now me being the adult I told her that butterflies only had 2 wings because pardon me for being the slow one out of the 2 of us I really did not know that they really had 4 wings. Her response to me was Daddy you need to pay attention lol, but that’s not the reason for the look on her face. You see after receiving the award her teacher asked her to sit down so other kids could get their award, and her response to her teacher was I DON’T HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU SAY. Now when the teacher said well let’s call your dad and see what he has to say, her response was GO AHEAD BECAUSE HE’S NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING. Long story short, you see the look on her face, and I made her take a picture with the award to let her know that you are too Intelligent for bad behavior. So no matter what they do good in life, never let them think that doing bad is an action that will be rewarded with anything other than a punishment. Oh, and butterflies do have 4 wings. SPARE THE ROD, SPOIL THE CHILD!


anonymous asked:

Am I a failure for going back to live in with my mom and give up on my apartment that I just got 3 months ago? I just feel so overwhelmed with everything i want to concentrated in school but rent, all the bills is getting to much . I've been having nightmares for two nights straight about dying and I think about killing myself like twice in a day I'm scared but I feel like if I move back in with my mom I'm just a damn failure and no one seems to understand me :(

It’s not being a failure, it’s being strong. Knowing that you can’t do everything by yourself and going somewhere that’s stable or doing something that’s beneficial to you is STRONG. Things will be hard, and you may feel lost, but you are strong and smart enough to make the right decisions. Take care of yourself, know your limits, know what you need. Don’t give up!

it’s my mom’s birthday and my grandma wants me to send happy birthday

i haven’t been in direct contact with my mom since my own birthday in january for the sake of my own health and i think it’s been better for me than worrying about the next phone call and what it’s going to be like

so my grandma was like ‘but you have only one mom you may have many friends in your life but you only have one mom’ ‘and one day you’ll regret cutting contact with mom’

and it’s like it’s not even going to be forever? when I’m in a good place and I can support myself I may open contact with mom again from a distance but for the time being no contact is the best option

besides those family values are toxic as hell and they hurt people a whole lot and i think they hurt my whole family too

i left a public happy birthday message in polish (polish because thats not the language we used with each other, she speaks it fluently, i don’t, so it’s less personal) but it does mean that i’ll continue not using facebook for a while

// i just kind of wonder whatever happened to soras mom during that year that sora was sleeping. everyone forgot about him. even his own mother.

do u think that one day she woke up, confused as to why she had a teenage boys room in her house?

do u think she was just sitting in the middle of the room, looking around and trying to think think think as to why she had a boys room in her house.

do u think that after a while of not being able to remember why she had a boys room in her house, do u think she started getting rid of things? clothes, bedsheets, old wooden swords….

do u think that she found pictures of sora, riku, and kairi, and was able to remember who riku and kairi were, but looked towards sora and wondered just who that boy was, and why he was in a lot of the photos.

do u think that when she started to remember who sora was, do u think she ran upstairs into the bedroom and cried, looking around at his bare room with no bedsheets, no clothes, nothing to remind her except a few pictures of the brunet boy she had found, and kept out of curiosity.

do u think that when sora came back and asked in a joking manner “didn’t miss me so much, huh?” that soras mom, with pain hidden behind her eyes, lied, “i just wanted to start over fresh for you.”

evansscruff  asked:

13, 14, 22!!

13. Are you a restless sleeper?

Yes, unfortunately. I have to take Melatonin to help me sleep at night because I’m always tossing and turning, and sleeping during the day lol.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic?

I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like I could be, but I think the way my sister and mom talk about their relationships being so crappy and how terrible men have totally turned me off of romance, relationships frankly scare the shit out of me because I don’t want to end up unhappy. It just seems weird to me, the whole concept of romance, I prefer simple things, so maybe that’s my type of romantic?

22. Do you like spicy food?

ABSOLUTELY! I honestly could not live without hot sauce and peppers and everything hot- the spicier the better. :)

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