and I realised that will has almost no physical human contact


Pairing: Newt Scamander x Reader

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: implied smut boiiiii

A/n: just a short little fic I wanted to get out because this idea has been on my mind for ages! I didn’t really put that much effort into this one because I’ll most likely write up a smut version of this ! Newt is such a hot nerd wow

Originally posted by ucresearch

Pretty red lips, hair slightly curled. Tonight you were dolled up and ready to head out for dinner with your friends. Newt bit his lip as he sketched the way you looked tonight, making sure to emphasise the darkness of your eyeliner. He could barely contain himself as he observed you, wand in his mouth, pencil drawing out the curves of your body in that tight-fitting dress. He wasn’t much of an artist, but he made sure to at least capture every rare creature he came across.

“Newt, are you coming?” Queenie chimed as you, Tina and Jacob were filing out the door. You lingered there, your painted nails tapping on the wooden frame as you waited.

“Sorry, I just needed to note something I remembered.” He replied, hoping that he wasn’t blushing under your gaze. He looked down upon his notebook before he closed it up, binding it and throwing it into his suitcase.

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The Bet- (Logan Howlett x Reader) Part 2

A.N: So holy shit guys, part one really blew up! Holy crap??! Thanks so much for all the love for this story, hope this follow up does it justice. I’m totally up for part three if any of ye are interested! Sorry in advance if its not what you’d hoped for!! kinda had to fart it out in order to accommodate study, so sorry if it feels rushed.

Warnings: sex and anything and everything to do with it, domination, rough fucking. swearing.

Word count: 2418 (yeah I know, dunno what happened tbh)

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A Jasper Case Study (Part 8): Conclusion

The Road to Redemption

Before working on the new episodes, it occurred to me that I hadn’t tied up the loose end that was the Jasper Case Study. While I will be writing about her in her future appearances, I do want to end with this post, sort of as a marker of where we thought Jasper would be as opposed to where she could possibly end up.

So, before I formally start off this post, I want to do a brief recapitulation of what we’ve read from Jasper’s character thus far.

Anonymous said:
Jasper is the best and most perfect thing to come out of a bad kindergarten… She always believed herself to be the best. But she’s too full of herself. Amethyst was the runt and one of the worse things to come out of a kindergarten always believing her to be the worst. But with encouragement and people telling her she was the one good thing to come out of a kindergarten.

Not meaning to use this ask to insinuate anything about the asker, I would like to use it as an example for the general sentiment around Jasper when I started writing the Case Study nine months ago. We’d just got episodes like Crack the Whip, Alone at Sea, and Earthlings.

What we found was that Jasper’s exit hole was what Peridot called, “the most perfect” she’s ever seen. And the first thing I wanted to point out there was what was meant by that kind of perfection. In the show, we get the sense that Peridot, in her very literal and pragmatic way of speaking, was talking about the hole, without steady implications towards Jasper herself.

Because in SU, there’s more to a gem’s gem-etics than just the exit hole. The material of the ground, the minerals in the dirt, all determine the kind of gem that will emerge. And I think it’s important to note that the Beta Kindergarten was exactly that, a second banana to the Alpha Kindergarten next door.

It was a last ditch effort on Homeworld’s part to claim back the war. They didn’t expect any gem from the Beta Kindergarten to be strong or worth keeping. They needed more gems, and haphazardly stuck injectors into the ground.

I think it says a lot that in the Zoo, the majority of Quartz gems are Amethysts, with only a handful of stragglers from the Beta Kindergarten like Carnelian and a few Jaspers. Something I talked about in the past was that there was a good chance the majority of her Kindergarten-mates didn’t survive the war.

To gems, the “defects” are obvious. Jasper and Peridot immediately knew, for instance, that Amethyst was a “runt,” and that Garnet was a fusion. It was sheer luck that in the frenzy of trying to incubate more gems, Jasper’s was given just enough space, enough depth, such that she would emerge the way a Jasper should.

Jasper escaped a lot of what the other Earth gems suffered by never truly escaping the war. In her own words, she keeps fighting. Fighting is how she shows she’s just like everyone else, not just the kid from the Beta Kindergarten.  And so it wouldn’t make a lot of sense that she’s so “full of herself.” If fighting was what got her recognised, and gave her some sense of control and order in the chaos of being born in the worst parts of the war, why would she keep doing it now in peacetime? Despite her relatively high rank, and her being a celebrated war hero, she still stands by this philosophy.

It shows that the issues she was fighting during the war, never really went away.

The moment she felt she could be stronger in a fusion, it consumed her completely. We got the same feeling from Amethyst and Pearl, when they were with Garnet. Being in a headspace with someone so confident and sure of themselves is intoxicating when that is precisely what one feels is missing.

Recently, we’ve seen a character who is full of herself, who thinks herself the best and incapable of failure. We’ve seen how Aquamarine operates. She isn’t fond of long-winded speeches about herself and her moral code, something Jasper has done since her very first appearance. When she can, she defers the work over to Topaz, fully committing to a role in reconnaissance, in the shadows.

She doesn’t mind that she looks weak and small, in fact, she uses it to her advantage in Are You My Dad? Because she knows that when it all comes down to it, she could take anyone in her way.

When Steven tries to poke at possible self-esteem issues in Stuck Together, Aquamarine isn’t even fazed. Nothing takes her aback. Instead, she puts up a face of disgust and confusion, because she can’t imagine why people would think she didn’t feel great about herself.

In contrast, Jasper is constantly trying to convince those around her, and herself, that she’s all she’s cracked up to be, that she can indeed fill the perfect hole out of which she emerged. Amid her trauma from the war and the stress of maintaining that image, without realising no one, in fact, is looking that closely.

Anonymous said:
I don’t get why people are so hung up on Jasper being such an awful gem. Every single one of them have done unforgivable things, they’ve all done things that really unsettled me, none of them are completely good. There is no complete good or bad, two sides to every coin. And sometimes its ignorance. People hate Jasper so much, but what they don’t seem to be seeing is that she doesn’t know how bad she is. Shes been taught its good. We’ve been taught it’s bad. Yes its awful, but they’ve all done bad stuff.

And I think it’s here that we start talking about what exactly that “bad stuff” is that opens up talk of redemption in the first place and how she might be reached on these different fronts. I talk about these in plural because it is seldom that someone does a particular harmful thing once and continues to believe it was right. Usually there is an entire framework in which they are enmeshed, a lot of values and traditions in which they are indoctrinated. And I think that this lens, of a wider sociocultural structure with each action and word having its own meaning, is something that can be applied to all the characters.

It should be said that motivations and actions aren’t completely dictated by the individual in as much as they are the member of a larger community. How we’re brought up, what we consume, the people with whom we choose to surround ourselves, all of these things affect what we value and how we decide to act.

With that said, I want to apply that to Jasper for this post. As I’ve said many times, I think it’s important to understand why actors do things. While the action in itself can be analysed, particularly when going for reform, understanding the individual is necessary to reach them and prevent said harmful action from being done again.

1. The (self-)destructive value system

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anonymous asked:

May I request TFP Ratchet, Smokescreen, Ultra Magnus, and Wheeljack reacting to seeing their human walk in with a black eye, bloody nose, pretty much all roughed up. When they ask what happened they say they got into a fight with a bully, and while the bully got off scot free, they got suspended.

( Melly’s Mod Notes: Sorry if the headcanons are too short. I realised that I’m very uncomfortable with the subject matter when trying to write this up but I’m willing to try and hope this fill here does this request justice. Hope this helps. )


✦ They tried to sneak past Ratchet but, unfortunately, bump into Jack in the process. Jack, not the most subtle individual in the bunch, immediately makes a noise at their appearance and starts loudly asking if they’re fine. Ratchet turns around just in time to see his charge slap Jack’s proffered hand away from them, their eyes shining with tears and anger and frustration, before they freeze upon noticing his gaze on them. A look of exhaustion and shame takes over their face and it nearly breaks his spark to see them like that. He’s quick to usher them to somewhere more private so he can look over their injuries. He’s going to have June have Words with the nurse at that school because the patch up is deplorable.

✦ For once he doesn’t have a snide remark or comment about how he shouldn’t be patching up the kids or how this isn’t in his job description. He’s quiet and focused as he works, his touches careful and delicate like he’s afraid he’s going to only add to the pain and the discomfort they must be feeling. Never once does Ratchet force them to speak about what happened or how they ended up like this, only asking them to turn left, raise their arm. When he lets them go, he lets them know he’s there to speak with them should they wanna talk about it. Eventually they will. Right now they want to rest and thank Ratchet for respecting their need for space.


✦ Is immediately alarmed to see their state when they approach him after school, becoming more concerned when they toss their bag in with too much force, crawl inside, and curl up into themselves and… oh slag. They’re crying. Why are they crying? Who hurt them? He begs them to please talk to him but they refuse to tell Smokescreen - their buddy! their pal! their numero uno! - what made them look like pure scrap and it really worries him. He does what he can to make the ride to the base more comfortable, taking pains to not hit potholes or playing all their favourite songs.

✦ Later in the base, it’s Jack and Miko who explains to him the general details of what happened. It puzzles and frustrates him that they got punished for trying to stand up for themselves while the slagger got away with what they started. He needs to curb the urge to find the bully and make them wish they never messed with his charge because what’s not important right now. Right now he needs to comfort his human. He isn’t the best comforter when it comes to words but he thinks he can give good hugs. Smokescreen is proven right when his human curls up in his embrace, muttering a thank you for putting up with their weird behaviour. He has to hold the static back in his voice as he tells them no problem, anything for their little buddy.


✦ Surprised to see them in such a state when they drop by the base, the reprimands he had for their tardiness dying in his vocoder upon seeing their battered state. He doesn’t state to direct them to Ratchet’s direction, worried and nervous about the possibility of there being more injuries he cannot see due to their clothes. He’s shocked and confused when he learns how they ended up like this, wondering why the school’s system allowed for the perpetuator to get away with this incident while the person suffering the casualties is punished. That’s not how conduct and order should work; it hurts and unnerves him to see the very things he respects fail his charge.

✦ Awkwardly tries to comfort them but is so stiff and unsure of himself they end up comforting him. It’s funny, in a way, and it’s funny enough that his human ends up laughing which is good… until his human starts to hiccup and cry and oh no they’re crying. His servos hover over them in uncertainty as his charge curls up in a ball and cries their hurt out, wondering what he should do. He reminds himself that his charge’s welfare and health is the utmost priority and that humans need physical contact and affirmation to stay healthy and stable. He repeats this over and over again in his processors as he picks up his charge, all but cradling them against his chassis as he informs them that he’s proud of their attempts to stand up for themselves and that there is no shame in crying, no shame in letting themselves have this moment.


✦ It’s Miko who informs Wheeljack about what happened. Her friend stands behind her, keeping their trained to the ground and trying to keep the ice pack on their swollen eye, as she angrily regals the ‘bot about what had happened: Apparently the bully tried to harass them and Miko during lunch and, at first, the pair tried to ignore it. Then the jerk tried to make a grab for Miko, they stepped in by moving in front of her and swatting the arm away. It escalated from there and now their friend is hurt, suspended from school, and blamed by almost everyone for ‘letting the bully get what they want’ as if its their fault.

✦ Wheeljack immediately wants to find the bully and teach them a lesson for messing with his charges. How dare some punk mess with them? He wants to so badly go after the kid, Wrecker-style, but he stops himself. He can see the tears in Miko’s eyes and the quivering shoulder of his other charge. His optics soften and he decides that maybe a trip in the Jackhammer would do everyone some good instead. The Wrecker tries to distract the kids the entire ride, wanting to keep their minds off the awful events. He helps patch the kid up and shows them how to do it by themselves, teaches Miko what to do next time it happens, and tells them the funniest jokes he can think of. As his two charges begin to drift off, Miko’s friend feels Wheeljack brush a digit against their hair in fondness. ‘You did good, kid. Get some rest, ‘kay? Thanks for keeping her safe.’

hannigram - an abusive relationship?

Spoiler alert: it’s not. (But it kind of is. I’ll go in depth about that in a moment.)

I wrote this for a conversation I had in twitter, and thought I wouldn’t need to post it here, but since I saw yet another person claiming that hannigram is abusive I thought I’d post this.

People use the term abusive about relationships that are unhealthy (in their opinion), as evindence for why it should not be shipped/supported. The correct definition of abuse is:

“Treating badly or injurously, mistreating, especially psysically.”

And of relationship abuse it is:

“A pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. Abuse can be emotional, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation. Abuse tends to escalate over time. When someone uses abuse and violence against a partner, it is always part of a larger pattern of control.”

So according to this it is abusive, I get it. They both try to kill each other multiple times, they manipulate and lead each other on. They don’t sexually abuse each other though, which at least in my opinion is the worst sort of abuse and I couldn’t ship a couple who did that to one another.

The other thing in this description that doesn’t quite match Hannigram is “abuse tends to escalate over time – it is always a part of larger pattern of control”. The mental abuse between them is at it’s worst in S1 where Hannibal manipulates Will into believing he’s a killer - but this is not to show his power over him, it is simply the only way Hannibal can bring Will into his life. Hannibal has after the first half of S2 been ready to drop the manipulation and violence between them as soon as Will does. And I haven’t seen anyone blame Will of being the main abuser, even though it could be argued that it’s solely his fault that the abuse continues.

The reason why Hannigram doesn’t fit the normal description of abuse is because their relationship is meant to be read as symbolic, not as a literal ideal of love. It’s fiction, and it should be treated as such. Fiction is great, because we can explore possibilities and relationships etc. that aren’t possible in real life. Thankfully the majority in this fandom are really intelligent and understand this, and only few people have failed at understanding what the shoe is about. That group still exists, and that’s why I felt the need to post this

What I believe the antis actually mean when they say it’s abusive is not just that it is violent and manipulative, but that “It’s an abuser/abused relationship, Hannibal is evil and Will is innocent, their relationship won’t work and does more bad than good for both of them, or at least for Will”.

Like I said earlier, it’s not a healthy relationship and it’s not one that I literally want for myself or for anyone I care about - but it’s not unbalanced. At least when we reach the end of third season they are certainly equals, there’s no denying it. I understand that some people don’t ship it because it’s too far from an ideal realtionship, and that’s okay, but hating on it and denying the fact that they’re equals who both choose each other in the end is just plain ignorant.

Will has always been alone, always been different. His relationship with Hannibal gets so close so fast because Hannibal is the first person who actually sees him. I’m gonna quote a Hannigram fic here because I think it described their relationship so well. (Will to Hannibal:) “You always wanted me to be the best version of myself when no one else accepted me for what I already was.” Just like Hannibal let Will see him, Will also let Hannibal see him. Hannibal didn’t “make an innocent puppy become a murderer”, he helped him to become what he already had the potential for.

If the antis and/or deniers have only seen season one, I need to admit that I understand them. Will did kind of seem like an innocent dog loving introvert back then if you didn’t pay much attention to details (like how coldly he treats the parents of the missing girl, how he isn’t afraid of human contact but despises it, how his humor is so dark that it often shocks his colleagues and friends and so on. I could make a post about this, if anyone is interested about that let me know). The first season is about Hannibal manipulating everyone into thinking Will is a killer, experimenting on Will and he does seem like a coldhearted psychopath there.

In season two we see Will gaining more power back, him manipulating and even seducing Hannibal. He isn’t afraid to kill a man in the progress, he eats people with Hannibal almost flirtatiously. This is not what an “innocent” man would do, or even what innocent man physically could do. The darkness inside him is becoming more clear, and even he himself admits that even though he wants to, he can’t hate Hannibal.

Will (to Peter): “I envy your hate. Makes it much easier when you know how to feel.”

He still betrays Hannibal in mizumono (even though he does call him at the last minute to warn him). Before I always though it was just because Will was still trying to cling to some sort of morality, but after Hugh’s comments it is obvious that Will was also afraid Hannibal didn’t and/or couldn’t love him the way he loved him, and so he thought it would be dangerous for him to run away with him and trust Hannibal with his life and wellbeing. Here is what Hugh said:

“I think Will has probably in some way never conceived the possibility that Hannibal could be in love. I mean, he’s got such a black heart. The awareness that they have this connection is something Will knows and is probably in some way profoundly ashamed of, and is also, you know, he keeps coming back to and actually kinda fills him with joy as well. But I don’t think he’d ever give it the name love, because I don’t think he’d ever associate love with Hannibal. – He’s never thought of Hannibal as being capable of love. Because like most of us, he probably had love put off on a kind of pedestal, as an idea, a more perfect thing, as he made the awful realisation: ‘Oh crap, maybe this thing I’m feeling is like love.‘”

I think it is clear to everybody at this point that Hannibal loves Will. His love, though, isn’t your typical “murderer obsessed with a beautiful and innocent woman (obviously man in this case)”. Hannibal loves Will because they understand each other, because they share a way of seeing the world, but also because they have interesting conversations and because they share the same sense of himor and have fun together. In a way, it’s just normal love, just deeper and richer since neither of them has ever had a change to explore that kind of love with anyone else before.

So to conclude: if you take it literally, yes, it is abusive, but that doesn’t make it wrong to ship it, by Hannibal standards at least. (The whole show is a little fucked up so if you can’t live with that why are you here?) Also, it has been abusive until this point only because they (well, mostly Will) have still struggled to accept their feelings for each other. Hannibal has only physically hurt Will if he has betrayed his trust or tried to hurt him first. Personally I don’t believe Hannibal would ever hurt Will again if they were to be a real couple. He also stopped the mindgames and manipulation as early as when Will got out of prison, knowing what he was. And Will has hurt and betrayed Hannibal mostly because of the reasons I stated earlier, because he thought it was the only way to save himself. If they stopped their game of cat and mouse (a game of cat and mouse where the roles change from time to time, or maybe even better description would be a game of cat and cat like Bryan called it) I wholeheartedly believe that they could live in a relationship where neither of them abuses the other.

Like Bryan once said, the core of their relationship is that:

“They had imagined they were unique before they saw each other. Obviously it took Will longer to appreciate that because he didn’t quite realize what he was dealing with in Hannibal, but Hannibal sees it instantly. It’s two people who have never been - I mean Will probably wears it heavier - but still, essentially alone in the world and then see some kind of, maybe not mirror image but the other side of their coin.”

And like Hugh said:

“In a sense the two of them have been wandering the Earth, totally isolated, because they have such a specific and elevated mentality. Not identical, but it is as if not only are you the greatest chess player on the planet, you’re actually the only person on the planet that can play chess. And then suddenly you walk into a roon one day and there’s a guy playing chess. I think that’s how they feel about each other.”

If you leave out the murder and cannibalism and manipulation, Hannigram is about two people who are different than anyone else finding love in each other. Their relationship evolves slowly from friends to lovers, and even though they try to move on neither of them can because they share something so intimate. So in its own, weird and symbolic way, i think Hannibal and Will’s relationship is build on a much better base and is possibly even healthier than many other ships and canon couples out there.

The Battle

So my little Thor soulmate AU was supposed to be a oneshot but it’s completely run away with me! Here’s chapter 2 in what’s becoming a series of vignettes of Thor and his Soulmate attempting to navigate their new life together. 

Summary: Picks up immediately after the first chapter. Thor’s met his soulmate in the battle of New York, and now he has to keep her safe from the surrounding chaos. This becomes a great deal more difficult when she comes face to face with his exiled brother, Loki. 

Read chapter 1 here: x

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Destiel “get away” fluff because I needed it.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“Shit!” Dean hisses as he tosses the stack of papers in front of him off of the desk.

“Dean?” Castiel looks up from his own stack of paper work and frowns at the other man.

“This is useless Cas, why are we even wasting our time?” Dean sighs and pushes away from the desk and shoves his head in his hands.

Castiel doesn’t say anything, he knows that Dean hasn’t been getting a lot of sleep lately and it looks like it’s finally starting to take its toll. He gets up slowly and walks over to where Dean is sitting and places his hand gently on his shoulder.

“Dean… perhaps it would be wise for you to rest.” He says softly, lips set in a straight line.

“I can’t take a break Cas. That’s not going to help anyone.” Dean mumbles into his hands.

“It will help you.” Castiel states matter-of-factly. “And it would make me feel better too.”

“You go rest Cas, I’m gonna carry on looking.”

Castiel frowns down at Dean and his grip tightens ever so slightly on his shoulder making Dean look up at him curiously.

“Angels do not need to rest Dean, but humans do. Unless of course you have forgotten that, that is what you are and you think you can work yourself into the ground?”

Dean raises his eyebrows at the Angel. He had all but growled at Dean and it didn’t look like he was going to take no for an answer.

He rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically. “Fine, coffee break, whatever. But not too long.”

Castiel smirks at the suggestion and the gesture doesn’t go unnoticed.

“And that look?” Dean asks suspiciously as he gets to his feet.

Castiel doesn’t move his hand from Deans shoulder and instead moves even closer to the hunter. His face is just a few inches from Deans and the other man stares at him expectantly, eyebrows raised, but he doesn’t say anything, just waits.

Castiels expression shifts just then and his features settle into an almost serene look. “I had another idea actually.” He whispers

It’s Deans turn to smirk this time. “Oh yeah?” He chuckles “Listen Cas, as much as I want to do… you know… that.” He stutters, gesturing to Castiel to emphasize his point, funny how Dean Winchester gets flustered when mentioning anything remotely physical regarding Castiel. “There just really isn’t enough-.”

Before Dean can even finish his sentence, there’s a rush of wind in his ears and his stomach tilts as Castiel teleports them out of the bunker. When the pressure in his gut finally subsides and he realises that they’ve arrived, wherever the hell it is Castiel has taken them to, Dean doesn’t waste any time in telling the angel off.

“Dammit Cas!” He bites out at the annoyingly serene looking face staring back at him. “You know how I feel about that teleportation crap!”

“I’m sorry Dean.” Castiel replies with a small smile. “But it would have taken us a lot longer to get here by any other means.”

Dean reluctantly shifts his annoyed gaze from Castiel to take in the area and the look instantly disappears from his face. “Cas… where.-”

He cuts himself off as he looks around them, the sight so completely different to the inside of the bunker, where he’s been held up for the past couple of days.

It looks like Cas thought it was a good idea to dump them in the middle of some ridiculously green mountain range, with trees lining the sides of the mountains, creating dense wood areas.  

They’re standing at the top of a gently sloping hill that seems to be cradled in between the mountain range and at the foot of the hill is a small lake, the sun making the water sparkle and Dean has to squint his eyes in order to actually see anything.

He can feel Castiel move closer beside him and slowly move his hand to the small of Deans back and rest it there, the gentle touch makes Dean shiver.

“Do you like it?” Castiel asks as he leans his head on Deans shoulder and places a soft kiss to the crook of his neck.

“It-it’s great Cas, really.” Dean smiles and kisses the top of Castiels head. “But we really don’t have ti-.”

“Stop that.”

The command isn’t harsh or threatening in any way, but that doesn’t make it any less authoritative and Dean snaps his mouth shut quickly.

“I want you to relax Dean.” The angel purrs, slotting himself behind Dean and wrapping his arms snugly around the hunters waist and nuzzling at his hairline . “It would defeat the purpose if I was to try to force you to do so.”

Dean stares out the small lake, at how inviting it looks, wherever this is, it’s pretty warm and that water is starting to look better and better every second he’s left to roast in the sun. He wonders if he can somehow lure Cas into the water and as soon as the thought enters his mind, a smile starts to pull at his lips.

“The water looks great.” He says still smiling.

Castiel hums against his neck.

“Wanna go in?”

Castiel lifts his head slowly and gazes down at the water as if contemplating his options, but when he doesn’t answer for a long while, Dean shrugs out of the angels hold and starts to remove his layers.

“Dean?” he hears Castiels confused as always tone from behind him.

“It’s hot as hell out here Cas, I’m goin’ in.” He says as he removes the rest of his clothes, only leaving his underwear and stumbles his way down the hill to the waters edge.

He dips his toe into the water and sighs at the feel of the cool on his skin. He slowly goes deeper, keeping to the bigger rocks he can see clearly below the water so as not to hurt his feet. Once he’s waist deep he lifts his feet away from the rocks and floats on his back. The glare from the sky is a bit too much at first, but eventually his eyes adjust and he wades his hands back and forth next to him as he watches the clouds float above him.

It’s pretty damn awesome and he can feel himself starting to relax, but the moment still isn’t as great as it could be and Dean moves in the water so that he can see Cas on the shore. He’s standing just at the edge of the water and he looks a little ridiculous in his trench coat with that silly smile on his face.

Dean doesn’t say anything, just sinks into the water until it’s just under his nose and gives Castiel his best puppy dog impression. The angel smirks and shakes his head, but to Deans surprise he starts to take his coat off slowly, never breaking eye contact. Dean tracks every movement as Castiel slides off his tie and then kicks off his shoes and socks and almost painfully slow, unbuttons his dress shirt and shrugs it off. Deans trying to be patient but his heart has definitely picked up speed and he’s never been able to handle Castiel looking at him like that.

Castiel is eventually in his underwear and is wading gracefully into the water. He still hasn’t broken eye contact and when he gets to Dean, he stops just short and stares at the hunter as if waiting for him to make the next move. Dean floats closer and slides his hand against Castiels side and draws him closer, his hand moving further down to the angels thigh and drawing the leg up slowly.

Castiel catches on pretty quickly and he lifts both legs up and wraps them around Deans waist, drawing him in until they’re chest to chest and Castiels hands are resting on the back of Deans neck and Dean has his hands gripping Castiel by his hips. 

Castiel dips his head down and smiles as he kisses Deans wet lips softly. Dean sighs against Castiels mouth and his eyes flutter shut as the angel starts to comb his fingers through Deans hair.

“Can we just stay here forever?” Dean mumbles against warm lips

Castiel smiles widely and presses his forehead to Deans. “I would like that very much Dean.”

anonymous asked:

pjo highschool reunion continued??!?! I MiSS iT!!!! Too good.

(like it says on the tin, this is a continuation of my highschool reunion AU. Percy and Annabeth dated in highschool, only to break up after college and life pulls them apart. They come together again at their highschool reunion, and the fics in the series cover what happens next.)

Annabeth has taken to browsing job listings.

It’s mostly accidental at first, some late-night googling leading her from page to page until she ends up at the city fire department. Careers blinks up at her, even though she’s pretty sure it’s not coded to do that. There’s a small chance it’s just her brain on overdrive.

No listings, the page says, and she releases a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding.

“It’s only been three months,” she reminds herself. “It’d be stupid to move after three months.”

The modern work week, thanks to the invention of smartphones and email, has a certain malleable quality these days. It stretches it’s way into evenings, heaves its bulk into weekends. Annabeth loves her work and the firm’s overtime policy doesn’t hurt either. But after that first missed weekend, it’s become a known thing around the office; every few weeks, less than once a month, Annabeth’s weekends become non-negotiable.

“So.” Percy throws an arm over her shoulder as they leave the airport, an easy familiarity that she’ll never admit - out loud - she loves. He isn’t possessive or proprietary about it like some of the men in her past have been. “Whose life am I ruining this month?”

She curls an arm around his waist, letting her head drop onto his shoulder. Her body aches in that way only too many hours in front of a desk can cause. “Please, this is Annabeth Chase you’re talking to.” She pauses. “My client work is up to date, so my boss has to sit on the fact that he can’t rope his best architect into taking on extra until Monday.”

Percy laughs, and Annabeth smiles into the sound. “I gotta say, that ego loses something over the phone. Definitely more impressive in pers - hey!”

She pulls her elbow out of his side, grinning at him. “Sorry, that was my ego. It’s a little hard to manoeuvre sometimes.”

Sometimes, she says.”

“My elbow doesn’t stop existing just because I’ve moved it away, you know.”

He laughs again, brushing a kiss over her forehead. “I missed you,” he says, and the honesty in his voice is so sharp, it almost hurts.

Her arms tighten around his waist. She kisses him properly. “Yeah. I missed you too.”

Maybe it’s because she’s always lived close to the water. She forgets how beautiful it is, sometimes. How lucky she is to be able to see it every day, how fortunate that she can head down on her lunch break if she chooses, take her shoes off and walk through the sand and the shallows.

She never seems to have the time.

Percy doesn’t forget. Of course, his job reminds him almost daily of just how important it is, so maybe that’s why. Or maybe it’s because he’s always lived close to the water.

“It’s a good beach,” he says happily, as they wade through the incoming tide, ankle deep. Their hands tangle together; neither of them talks about it out loud much, but they take every opportunity to be in physical contact when they can be. Even if it’s just like this.

“Oh, really? So what’s it rate on the Percy Jackson Good Beach Scale?”

His free hand lifts to his mouth, mock-thoughtful. “Annabeth Chase, asking the tough questions.”

“I’m a no holds barred  kind of girl.”

“That’s why I love you.”

It slides into the air so easily, it takes both of them a moment to realise that it’s the first time - well, the second first time - it’s been said out loud.

Annabeth still remembers the first-first time, the two of them shrieking and breathless, adrenaline pumping through them as they tread water, staring up at the cliff they’d just jumped off.

Clarisse La Rue gives her a dare, and Annabeth has never been able to turn down a dare. She’s also never jumped off a cliff into the ocean before, and when faced with the height, quietly curses her own pride. She can’t back down, but holy crap, they’re a long way up.

Percy takes her hand without hesitation.

“Hey!” Clarisse bellows. “That’s cheating.”

Percy tosses her the finger over his shoulder. “You just said she had to go, La Rue,” he points out. “You didn’t say who could go with her. You can come too, if you want.”

Clarisse does not want. A wild sort of laughter pushes at Annabeth’s chest as she throws a smirk at the other girl along with Percy’s gesture, although she manages to keep the sound itself inside.

“Ready?” Percy asks, excitement and a little bit of fear lighting up those sea-green eyes.

“No,” Annabeth admits, and they both scream as they jump.

The free-fall is exhilaration and terror at the same time, and they hit the water like another world. Annabeth expects it to be the shock of reality, but that comes later (and it isn’t a shock, but a slow drag, pulling them apart). The sea closes over their head. Annabeth knows that there’s a whole eco-system below the surface that doesn’t rely on humans, that people can only actively hurt, but in that moment the whole ocean belongs to Percy and Annabeth.

They break the surface only when air becomes a need instead of a want, their breathless laughter bouncing off the rocky face of the cliff. A cluster of heads peer over the edge down at them, but Annabeth is too busy throwing her arms around her boyfriend to give a shit. “I love you,” she gasps, and they go under again as Percy forgets utterly, for a second, how to swim.

They’re sixteen years old, and when he splutters it back around a mouthful of water, Annabeth knows they’re going to last forever.

Forever, as it turns out, only lasted a few years. Except here they are over a decade later, the chill waters of the Pacific Ocean swirling around their ankles in a way that refuses to have an appropriate metaphor drawn out of it. They stare at each other, wide-eyed. Annabeth has never been so grateful for being almost as tall as he is.

She waits a second, for his tongue to stumble over the words. For him to panic and take them back, or modify them, try and change the air itself sitting between them because they’re twenty-eight now and there’s no such thing as forever. But a mulish look crosses his face as he sets his jaw, and doesn’t look away from her.

And Annabeth laughs, gathering the words somewhere deep inside her and storing them along with the first-first time. She leans up and kisses him, hard, again and again until someone yells at them to get a room. “I love you,” she breathes into him. “I love you.”

“I’ve been offered a job,” he says. It’s later, and he’s in bed. Annabeth, leaning against the en suite door frame dressed in his shirt and nothing else, tears her gaze away from the place where the sheet drapes over his waist.

“What?” She frowns. “But there’s nothing going.”

He raises his eyebrows at her. “You checked?”

Multiple times since the first time. Annabeth looks up at the ceiling. “I was curious.”

But Percy is grinning again, and curse Sally Jackson for giving him that stupid, infectious smile. He crawls across the mattress, reach out to tug her back onto the bed with him. She goes willingly, pushing him back until she straddles his hips. Her thighs brush his sides.

“Thinking about becoming a firefighter?”


“You’d look good in the gear.”

“Isn’t the point of a fire fighting suit to cover every last inch of you?”

He rakes his eyes over her body, and she shivers. “Haven’t you ever seen one of our calendars? You don’t have to wear all of it.”

“Percy Jackson.” She leans in. “Are you telling me that you’re posed for a firefighter calendar, and are only just letting me know?”

A slow flush works its way up his chest, embarrassment as much as desire. She laughs, momentarily distracted from I’ve been offered a job. It’s been four months, which is not that much more than three months. She loves him, but that’s faded before. Annabeth is aware she is not an easy person to live with, and she knows Percy. They’ve never lived together. If love can fade from distance, can it do the same with proximity?

Will she lose him all over again?

“Do you remember Rachel?”

Annabeth pauses. Of course she remembers Rachel, who is still a friend of hers - although not as close with her as she is with Percy. What she is less certain of is why Rachel is coming up now.

“The job’s here,” he says hastily. “Uh. In case that wasn’t obvious. And Rachel’s taken over some of the family business. I’m pretty sure she’s going to overthrow her dad some day from within? But right now she’s in charge of a couple of hotels. She says I can - that I can stay in a suite for a bit. Here. Until I get settled.”

There’s no denying that the hope in his voice says that he wants to settle with Annabeth. But he knows her. He’s taken the care to - to make other arrangements, to take things slowly. He wants this to work as much as she does.

Annabeth remembers standing on the edge of the cliff, staring out at the ocean, staring at him and feeling exactly the same way. They had jumped then. The end of it all had stung, but god, the rush had been worth it. She can see that now, with the clarity of distance. Coming together had been necessary. So was moving apart.

“Don’t be stupid,” she says finally. “You can stay with me.”

Slow has been good for them. But Annabeth has always been something of an adrenaline junkie.

Fairy Lights 

Fandom: Haikyuu!! 

Pairing: Kagehina

SummaryHow, where and why Kageyama got the idea of them ice skating eludes him but after much persuasion, Hinata had finally relented and that rare, genuinely beautiful smile that graced Kageyama’s face was almost worth it. Ok, it was definitely worth it.

A/N: this is a birthday gift for the wonderful @ainu . I know its not much, but its the least I could do for an artist as talented and a person as sweet as you. <3 Credits to @otpprompts for idea. 

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You're Allowed To Hurt

Request: hi! could you maybe write one where the reader has been hunting with sam and dean for a while but doesn’t try to get emotionally attached to ppl so they don’t ever initiate physician contact. except after a hunt sam is upset so they hug him and it encourages them to not be afraid to build relationships anymore 😊 (your writing is great btw!)

Characters: Sam, Dean, reader

Pairing: Sam x reader

Warnings: blood, angst, slight fluff

Word count: 1202

You always tried to distance yourself from people, you knew that in this line of work, attachments were not something you could afford. As much as you loved the idea of love, there was no point in being a hunter and caring about someone. You’d let yourself care about people in the past, but it always ended bloody or they left you. You promised yourself you wouldn’t let yourself have any kind of feelings towards anyone, work was all you cared about. This meant you also refrained from any kind of physical contact.

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schniggles  asked:

what would you recommend as tips for someone with a non-medical background in case of apocalyptic scenario with regards to "things to gather" and "things to learn in advance"?

Things to gather I would divide into groups. Assuming an absolute catastrophe, keeping as many humans alive and functional as possible is a priority, but your own health should always come first. You can’t help others if you yourself are incapacitated.

First priorities:
- Water. You need a clean water source, and a means to carry it. Bottled water, jars, means to boil it, or even plastic bags to harvest condensation from plants might do in a pinch. You will die of dehydration long before you die of starvation. Alternatively, you will die from water borne diseases.
- Portable food. Non-perishable is best, high calorie or high nutritional value (or both) is excellent. Thought should be given to milk replacement formulas, as they are nearly complete nutrition and almost all human lifestages can benefit from them. Honey is also excellent in a sealed container, because it makes an excellent antibacterial wound dressing as well as a calorie source.
- Additional transport or storage. The more you can carry, the more stuff you have to use. The faster you can move, the more time you can save or your ability to escape danger is increased. Cars cost fuel. Bikes, scooters and skateboards are better.
- means to create fire and light.

Second priorities:
- Allies. Once your bare basics are covered, nothing will be as singularly useful to you as another like-minded human.
- Weather and terrain appropriate shelter. This will vary based on where you are and your local structures or recourses. Your clothing needs to be appropriate too.
- Soap and salt. Hygiene is key boys and girls.
- medical supplies. A first aid kit is good, needs to at least include what you know how to use: iodine, bandages, scissors, tweezers. Take some of any medications you find, even if you don’t know what they’re for. Hopefully you find someone who has the knowledge, or you can trade. Leave some of it behind if you can, incase in’s medication required by someone to live, and they come looking for it.
- Fresh food. Scurvy sucks, you don’t want it. Vitamin C tablets are also common and may do in a pinch.
- Local map. You need ongoing water sources, and it’s a good idea to record where there are stashes of useful items, fruit trees, vegetable patches and local warehouses. Identify a focal point for navigation.

Third priorities:
- A plan. Presumably you intend to survive for more than a couple of weeks, so decide whether you need to stay put and consolidate your bases, or move elsewhere.
- Gardening supplies and chickens/livestock. You need ongoing fresh food, best to start as soon as it’s safe. Chickens are great and common in suburbia. Pond goldfish are edible but not tasty. Lots of people grow something in their backyard, keep tending those plots if you can.
- a second base, great to flee to.
- Contacting the rest of the world. This depends on how stuffed society is,but you will need other friendly humans eventually. A signal that is unmistakable for ‘another human lives here’ lets people paying attention realise they are not alone. Radio contact is an option, as is putting a flag up a high pole, flashing lights at night or even flying a kite. Something obvious from a distance that wasn’t there yesterday will attract attention, but be careful of humans that may resort to aggression to survive. (This is another reason allies are particularly important). Even tying balloons to crossroads with notes saying you’ll be passing by again in X days might help you find isolated pockets of humanity.
- A dog. Their hearing and sense of smell is far superior to yours. A decent substitute for human allies if you can’t find one.
- equipment that allows you to use your skills to the best of your ability, to promote your survival and that of others. Find and gather your tools of the trade. Whether that trade is medicine, sewing, cooking preserves, building, crafting, communication ANYTHING that not everyone can do, reinforce your position with the right tools.

In regards to basic things to learn in advance:
- How to grow a plant.
- how to gut and cook a fish.
- how to make bread/damper/rice
- basic first aid: minor wound dressing, treating burns, splinting broken bones
- how to tell if something is dead
- how to read a map
- how to trap or shoot something
- how to mend clothes
- how to hide
- how to climb
- your own physical limits. Pushing yourself beyond what you can do sill leave you with no reserve in an emergency.
- your local dangers (wildlife, climate, man made, whatever they are)

I am assuming this apocalypse happens on earth. Priorities may change depending in the cause of the apocalypse, but this is where I’d start.

Mrs. Money

Title : Mrs. Money

Characters : Jimin of BTS (Sex Worker!Jimin)

Genre : Smut

Summary : “I only need your company, that’s all. Can you give me that?” You take the bottle of wine form him, tilt it, weighing upon refilling your half-full glass.
Park Jimin is someone you call when you need entertainment. But tonight, it seems that you need something more than physical

Word Count : 7,271 

A/N : Hello lovesss! I’m so excited to share this completely romanticised smut, because no real human can be Park Jimin in this fic. I hope you all love this filth, and I would really appreciate your notes and feedbacks!

Originally posted by whyparkjimin

[11:54PM] Mrs. Money : Jimin, are you available tonight? I’m at the usual hotel. Room 2134

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Benedict Cumberbatch on Alan Turing: 'He should be on banknotes'

There is, at first, a moment of confusion. Benedict Cumberbatch is filming Richard III for the BBC’s Hollow Crown series, and yesterday, or so the publicist from the film company tells me, he fell off a horse. He’s feeling stiff and has needed a massage. Things are running a little late.

It is Saturday lunchtime at a grand London hotel, and I am parked in a suite waiting to talk to Cumberbatch about his latest film, The Imitation Game, in which he plays the code-breaker Alan Turing. When he comes in – tall and rangy, dressed in a checked shirt and a quilted leather jacket – he moves and talks quickly, a fistful of nervous energy. Shades of Sherlock.

I hear, I say, that you’ve had an accident and fallen off your horse. He looks puzzled. ‘Oh no, that’s picking up fag ends…’ Fag ends? ‘That thing of going, “He’s had an accident…”’ He rolls his eyes. ‘I haven’t had an accident.I’m playing Richard III.’ Nor, it turns out, had he fallen off a horse. He can do all his own sword-fighting, but falling off horses is forbidden under insurance provisions: he just fell into shot, as if he’d fallen off a horse.

‘I was running round in the mud having a lot of fun. I mean proper mud, with men in real armour with real swords, fighting to the death. It was incredible – one of those moments where I had to pinch myself.’

Cumberbatch is not classically handsome: rather, the long, angled planes of his face and his small, far-apart eyes lend him a slightly odd, other-worldly, cerebral appearance. He is an actor who is particularly good at giving the impression of thinking, which has served him well playing roles such as Stephen Hawking, Sherlock and, indeed, Turing. So not quite handsome, yet that curious, transmogrifying power of stardom seems to have conferred handsomeness upon him.

He has an army of adoring female fans that style themselves as ‘Cumberbitches’ – a term to which Cumberbatch himself has taken vocal exception in the past. ‘It sets feminism back so many notches.’ He apparently would prefer the term ‘Cumberpeople’.

The Imitation Game tells the story of Alan Turing, the Cambridge mathematician who, working at the Government Code and Cypher School at Bletchley Park during the Second World War, invented the early computing machine that cracked the German Enigma code. Winston Churchill, a huge admirer of Turing, credited him with making the single biggest contribution to Allied victory in the war against Nazi Germany. This alone makes Turing a heroic figure, but it is what happened later that makes him equally a tragic one.

Homosexual, in 1952 Turing was prosecuted for ‘gross indecency’ with a 19-year-old man. As an alternative to prison, he was ordered to receive treatment with oestrogen injections – chemical castration. In 1954, 16 days before his 42nd birthday, Turing died from cyanide poisoning. An inquest ruled that his death was suicide. In 2009, following an internet campaign, Prime Minister Gordon Brown made an official public apology on behalf of the government for ‘the appalling way’ Turing had been treated. And in 2013 he was granted a posthumous pardon by the Queen.

The Imitation Game covers the span of Turing’s life: his faltering, adolescent love for a fellow student at Sherborne school, Christopher Morcom, who was to die at 18 from the long-term effects of the bovine tuberculosis he contracted as a child; his struggle at Bletchley Park to build his ‘Turing machine’ in the face of official obduracy and incomprehension; his short, and ill-starred, engagement to his colleague Joan Clarke (played by Keira Knightley); and his tragic death.

It is the sort of film the British film industry does so well. Highly polished, with a sterling cast including Charles Dance and Matthew Goode, and an impressive attention to period detail, it is also deeply moving. One comes away seething with anger at the attitudes and the events – ‘the persecution’ in Cumberbatch’s words – that destroyed Turing.

‘I miss him…’ Cumberbatch settles back on to the sofa, dispatching an espresso in a single gulp. ‘And it’s not just from playing him. I miss the fact that he’s not with us and should be with us. It’s a massive injustice, of course, but it’s also thinking about what he should have enjoyed of his life as well, and the amount of sadness in it.’

‘Mother says I’m just an odd fish,’ an adolescent Turing tells Morcom. And he was certainly that: socially awkward, scornful of convention, a man more interested in ideas than people, who believed the only authority worth respecting was reason.

It is a role that might have been tailor-made for Cumberbatch, and which he captures beautifully. Photographs show Turing as shorter and stockier, but Cumberbatch’s performance, one thinks, is surely exactly how he sounded and behaved – although, surprisingly perhaps, there is no existing film or audio recording to confirm it.

To build the character, Cumberbatch was obliged to draw on written descriptions and the memories of Turing’s contemporaries. ‘He was described as having his head down to one side and not making eye contact,’ Cumberbatch says, tipping his head. ‘When he did turn and talk to you he had a wonderful smile and was charismatic and encouraging – and polite and fast – but slowed by this pronounced speech impediment that went…’ – his voice begins to rise – ‘very high in pitch, as well as getting stuck on w-w-words.’

He has, for an instant, become Turing, and just as quickly turned back into Cumberbatch. ‘So it’s about building the elements of that into the storytelling. Of course, you have to compromise because it’s only two hours long. If the stammer was as severe as it actually was in any given moment, it would have been a longer film. And that’s not supposed to be a joke; it’s just a fact.’

‘I spoke to his two nieces,’ he adds. ‘Even though they were very young, what they remembered clearly was feeling confident when he was around because he treated them as human beings – not as things to be seen and not heard; he wasn’t Victorian. And that was a huge eye-opener – oh yes, because he doesn’t differentiate, does he? He doesn’t think gay, straight, child, older, stupid, less stupid. He’s not making those judgments.’

Turing’s sexuality is central to the film. In an age when to be homosexual was to court certain social opprobrium, Turing was necessarily discreet but never apologetic. The police officer who arrested him would later note that he made no attempt to conceal what he had done, instead volunteering a five-page statement outlining his activities – written ‘in a flowing style, almost like prose’. Turing, he concluded, was ‘a very honourable man’.

As the film makes clear, his brief engagement to Joan Clarke was based, at least on Turing’s part, on intellectual compatibility rather than any physical attraction. Turing broke it off when he realised that it was impossible to maintain such a relationship, telling Clarke that he was homosexual.

Turing’s biographer, Andrew Hodges, on whose book The Imitation Game is loosely based, has been reported as saying the film exaggerates Clarke’s role in Turing’s life. And some critics have taken it to task for not being ‘sexually explicit’ enough, on the grounds that there are no scenes of Turing sexually involved with another man. His feelings for Morcom are conveyed by no more than longing glances.

Cumberbatch is mystified by the criticism. ‘For me there’s explicit love in the film, and the fact of his sexuality being homosexual doesn’t make any difference. If it would have added to the film, we’d have done it. I’d have no qualms about filming those scenes, expressing that side of a character’s relationship to his body. It’s partly to do with the logical loop of the film, the poetical loop. It’s about what’s not seen, it’s about secrets, what’s repressed – and his sexuality was. This is a man who’s never going to be allowed to love, and that’s really his tragedy and the tragedy of the film.’

Andrew Hodges has noted that the field in which Turing was a pioneer was ‘not “science”, not “applied mathematics”, but a sort of applied logic, something that had no name’. There is always a danger in any film attempting to depict genius that the complexity of their work will be lost on a general audience – a pitfall that The Imitation Game avoids by demonstrating that Turing’s genius was of a rarefied kind, and that his invention for mechanically decoding messages was a revolutionary breakthrough, without belabouring us with the details of exactly how.

Cumberbatch achieved a B in GCSE maths – not quite enough, he acknowledges, to ‘even handle a quadratic equation’. But he devoted a good deal of time – ‘probably more than I should have done’ – to trying to understand Turing’s work. ‘I’m determined to manufacture at least the appearance of mastering whatever it is the character has to master, because otherwise there’s no point. But also, just as a layman, I’m fascinated by it. He was making a massive leap forward in the idea of anything computable being mechanised. It was the beginning of the binary coding of computers. Within that, he wrote some of the most extraordinary algorithms, which were used to break the Enigma code, and which are still used in web-search programs like Google today.’

Turing is the second real person Cumberbatch has tackled as an actor in almost as many years – he played Julian Assange in the 2013 film The Fifth Estate. ‘I learnt my lesson with Assange that you cannot get too involved in the subject matter; that you have to focus on the character,’ he says. ‘But at the same time that was such a current story I wanted to do him justice; I didn’t want to serve him up as being some kind of two-dimensional villain. I wanted to make him into a flawed hero basically.’

Is that how he sees Assange? He stiffens slightly. ‘I’ve talked a lot about how I see him. You can dig up a quote from before and use that if you like.’

It’s a sore point. Assange objected to Cumberbatch playing him in the film, to the point of writing him a letter (which Wikileaks published, along with a copy of the script) begging him to withdraw – ‘which was incredibly beautiful, charming, polite, very persuasive, charismatic…’ Cumberbatch rattles off the adjectives.

Really? I thought it was deeply creepy, a mixture of flattery and veiled threat. For instance, ‘I believe you are a good person, but I do not believe that this film is a good film… If the film reaches distribution we will forever be correlated in the public imagination. Our paths will be forever entwined…’

Cumberbatch raises his eyebrows, cups his hand over his mouth and whispers, ‘I know.’

‘There was a huge amount of passive aggression in that. I’m not stupid. I knew what he was doing; I knew that he was blindsiding me with praise, thinking my ego would be massaged by some fat, fictitious pay cheque or the idea of being “a movie star” by playing him, and that would persuade me to be some talking piece for the State Department. I wrote back a very strong email that, unless he shows it, will never see the light of day. It’s one of the best pieces of writing I’ve ever done, I’m proud to say, and he was very polite in response. But I don’t feel the need to publish that correspondence, and I’m not going to talk about it.’

None the less it is interesting that, like The Fifth Estate, The Imitation Game should be dealing with the question of secrets, particularly given the revelations last year about the surveillance programmes of GCHQ, the government spy centre that grew out of Bletchley Park.

‘It sort of is, but more important is the idea that the man at the centre of it, who was persecuted for being different, still stands sadly for a lot of persecution that goes on around the world today. That’s what terrifies me – that it’s as prevalent now, and that this is how we treated one of our war heroes, and a great scientist, someone who’s up there with Charles Darwin; he should be on banknotes. I don’t think Alan set himself up as a martyr, but he sure as hell was treated as one in a sense.’

Cumberbatch’s voice rises in indignation. ‘This was 60 years ago – here, in this country! Giving a man injections to turn him into something desexualised, that ruined his brain. He was being given weekly oestrogen doses and at one point the doctor said, this is a bit embarrassing for both us; why don’t I give you an implant so you don’t have to keep coming back for these appointments every week. He was given the implant in his thigh. It was supposed to stop after two years, and it didn’t.

‘A colleague of his whom I spoke to told me Turing had said, “It’s not really cricket, is it” – being wry and humorous about it. But then one night he pulled out a carving knife from the kitchen drawer and tried to gouge it out of his body.’ Cumberbatch sighs deeply. ‘To reach that state of mind… The only thing he had left to love – that he was legally allowed to love – was his work, and even that was denied him, to the extent that he took his own life by swallowing cyanide.’

Both of Cumberbatch’s parents are actors, on stage and in television. His father works under the name Timothy Carlton; his mother, Wanda Ventham, was a familiar figure on television for her roles in such programmes as Heartbeat and Only Fools and Horses. The couple actually made a cameo appearance in one episode of Sherlock, playing the detective’s parents.

Cumberbatch has a stepsister who is 18 years older than him, by his mother’s first marriage – ‘She baby-sat me’ – but admits that he was as spoilt as if he were an only child. ‘Although “spoilt” implies that you’re ruined… I didn’t have to fight for my proportion of love, attention and food or the things you have to do in larger families. All of their resources were poured into me for my education [Cumberbatch went to Harrow]. But I was aware of that. I would have loved to have had brothers or sisters, or so I thought at the time. I was always very gregarious, and I don’t think they would have sent me to boarding school if I wasn’t confident with stepping away from the nest. I love them, and I always returned to the nest with great joy.’

As a student Cumberbatch taught English to young monks in a Tibetan monastery in Darjeeling. It instilled an interest in Buddhism that has carried on to this day. He describes himself as ‘vaguely’ Buddhist, and he meditates whenever possible. He rattles through the procedure: ‘Concentrating on your breath, the sensations from tip to toe, taking in sounds from outside and letting them pass; the same thing with thoughts.’

It was almost inevitable that he should act. He remembers as a child watching his mother on stage from the wings – ‘whichever Ray Cooney farce it was, probably Run for Your Wife’ – and being transported. ‘The bright lights, and the scenery looking something like a hotel room – just these flimsy things, and feeling this heat come off the stage, and looking out and seeing the enjoyment of the audience and the actors completely absorbed in this world that was paper thin. It was like looking behind the curtain and seeing how a magician does his tricks – and it thrilled me.’

At Harrow he acted in school productions, often taking the female role. His performance in As You Like It, one observer was moved to note, was ‘the best Rosalind since Vanessa Redgrave’.

He went on to study at the University of Manchester and then the London Academy of Music & Dramatic Art. The step to working actor was relatively easy: two seasons of Shakespeare at Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre; small parts in television series such as Heartbeat and Silent Witness. For 10 years Cumberbatch was a highly regarded actor, but by no measure a star.

Then, in 2010, came Sherlock. Now he seems to be everywhere, in everthing: a kindly slave-owner in 12 Years a Slave, a Star Trek villain, the voice of Smaug in The Hobbit.

How does he judge his new-found standing? By the number of roles he’s offered? The scale of the film? The size of the fee? He interrupts each question. ‘No… No… No…’

‘What matters to me is the quality and the variety of the work. I’m in it for the long game. I’m interested in working in 40 years’ time, and turning round and talking to an actor on set and telling them stories about working with Judi Dench and Michael Gambon. So any talk of “man of the moment” hype, heat, whatever, I just smile wryly. It’s the same shit with “sexiest whatever” – I was around 10 years before that as an actor and no one took the same face seriously.’ He shrugs. ‘It’s all projection.’

His life, I suggest, must have changed enormously over the past couple of years. ‘Yes, as anyone’s would with the high level of over-exposure at times and that sort of popularity, yeah definitely. But I think the way to normalise is to try to adhere to who and what you did before as much as you can. People have this idea that you’re immediately bubble-wrapped and surrounded by security. I’m not. I get on the Tube and I get on my motorbike. I go to galleries and restaurants and museums and I see people, and they take photographs and I say, “Please don’t,” or whatever seems the appropriate response.

‘The strange thing is walking into a room and knowing that people recognise you, and you don’t know who they are. That’s a different energy that you have to get used to, and some days I’m good at that and some days I’m not. And when I’m not I feel self-conscious. But I still plough on with my day. I don’t scuttle home. I don’t want to live in a world where I have to build high walls.’

He will be back on location tomorrow, up to his eyes in mud. Then there’s the Christmas special of Sherlock, a film project, Hamlet at the Barbican, another series of Sherlock. His energy, I suggest, is inexhaustible.

‘No, I’m human. I’m getting older. I’m 38.’ He catches me rolling my eyes. ‘Yes, you should tell me to f*** off, I’m sure. But I’m acting with people who are half my age, people who are young enough to be my children.’ He pauses, as if this is the first time that has occurred to him. ‘Actually, that’s quite sobering…’

The Imitation Game is released on November 14 [x]

Is it me or was the episode full of foreshadowing?

So I normally post an episode gif reactions but the only scene I care about is that very last Bamon scene. OH THE FEEEEELS!!! It fully made up for what was otherwise a truly cringe-worthy Dullena fest!

First off, congrats to us, we called it as usual, the gift was the cure! When BonBon pulled that familiar little box out of her bag I was like

But when she said “for Elena” I was like

Then, just like the rest of you, I rewatched the scene a million times and I realized something. Given Damon’s facial expressions, it’s almost as if for the very first time Bonnie Bennett got something slightly wrong: he didn’t want the cure for Eldebert, he wanted it for himself. I mean think about it, he devised that whole plan while in 1994 when he had NO HOPE whatsoever of making it back to present day Mystic Falls, so why would he waste his time hunting down the cure for someone he was never going to see ever again?

Secondly, did y’all catch it? At one point in the episode, Lily tells Damon that her creepy desiccated friends made her feel human again and as she speaks, the camera cuts to Damon’s face as if he’s recognizing that he has something in common with his mother: how much they both miss being human (remember season 2 when he admitted to that random girl that he missed being human “more than anything in the world”?).

I think that Bonnie’s gesture did really shake him to his core because - whether she realizes it or not - it is forcing him to face himself and what he really wants instead of just slipping back into his old life and living the lie he always has, believing that all he’s ever wanted is to “get the girl”. The truth is that all Damon Salvatore has ever wanted is to be loved. Not to be a vampire, not to get in some girl’s pants. All he’s ever wanted is to be truly accepted for who he is, good and bad. Something that we’ve established Eggbert can never give him, but that Bonnie just does without even realizing it. Ask yourself why he didn’t exactly jump up and down when Bonnie gave him the cure; because he feels conflicted about it and I think that conflict mirrors pretty beautifully his feelings for Bonnie, because to some extent, Bonnie Bennett is his cure. She represents a chance at salvation, at normalcy, at being human away from toxicity, blood lust and basically being an abomination of nature. Sure, Damon could be the answer to Bonnie’s prayers, but as we’ve learned with our OTP, their relationship isn’t one sided and Bonnie could well be the answer to Damon’s prayers as well.

I think that whole scene was full of tremendous Bamon foreshadowing, and not only because of the very obvious “BonBon” moaning while he was making out with Eleanor. I mean yeah, this does say it all… 

Careful Damon, I might start to think you actually… Ah forget it! MARRY HER ALREADY!!! No but seriously, believe it or not, the eye sex is not what “shook me to my core” ;) What got to me is this:

Bamon have a thing with holding hands. They’re both pretty awful at putting their feelings into words, especially with each other and holding hands somehow helps them materialize what’s going on inside. That half a second is packed with so much emotion and meaning that it makes that pissy Dullena make out session look like a rotten sandwich. And can we talk about this?

How beautiful, poetic and freakin perfect it is that Bonnie bloody Bennett is THE ONLY CHARACTER who’s ever truly trusted Damon with ANYTHING, let alone such a mind blowing decision? She’s not belittling, patronizing him, or guilt tripping him into “being the better man”. She’s fully trusting his judgment, letting him know that whatever his decision may be in the end, she’s perfectly cool with it.

On TV and in movies, camera shots matter! Why did they do TWO close ups on Bonnie holding Damon’s hand? That folks, is foreshadowing! I think, in that moment, Damon is beginning to realise that he’s seeing Bonnie differently. In that scene, it is his interaction with Bonnie - which involved almost no physical contact - that really mattered, not that gross and frankly overdone Dullena make out scene. Damon’s interactions with those two women stand on complete opposite sides of the spectrum and pretty much summarize why we ship Bamon. Dullena is shallow, physical and selfish (freakin Lily Salvatore with super vampirical hearing was upstairs and they were still planning on doing it?), while Bamon is deep, emotional and selfless. That scene has so much subtext, it’s insane! It may be my shipper goggles talking but what I saw was the approaching end of Damon’s immature-toxic-chip-on-his-shoulder ways materialized through his affair with Edna and the dawn of a more mature-true-to-himself-comfortable-in-his-own-skin Damon brought about through his relationship with Bonnie. Bonnie and Damon both seem to be coming into their own this season and I’m loving it!