and I only wish that there is so to come

as much as i hate admitting it to myself, i still do type your username on the search bar. i still remember your birthday and the way your blue eyes shine when you smile. i still wait for a someday where maybe we’ll cross paths again but deep down, i know someday doesn’t have a date. i still lay on the floor, listen to your song and feel my tears filter through the cracks of my broken heart. no one told me getting over someone would be so damn hard, if only you would’ve come with a warning sign…
—  i long for the day i won’t see you in my dreams anymore.

I have a dream
I hope will come true
That you’re here with me
And I am here with you
I wish that the earth, sea, and the sky up above
Will send me someone to lava


get to know me: favorite female charactersthe ghibli girls
 “Many of my movies have strong female leads – brave, self-sufficient girls that don’t think twice about fighting for what they believe in with all their heart. They’ll need a friend, or a supporter, but never a savior. Any woman is just as capable of being a hero as any man.” (– Hayao Miyazaki)

There is so much of myself I see in her, and maybe you do, too

Maybe Hermione Jean Granger’s parents were a little less like Ron’s parents and a little more like mine. That drive to succeed at all costs, the breakdowns, feeling like she couldn’t talk to anyone – I see myself in her, and my fiancée, and the experiences of so many others who couldn’t prove abuse, but were implicitly told that “living up to their potential” was their only purpose in life. So –

Give me a Hermione Granger whose parents suggested to her, ever-so-gently, that to remain in magical school it was best that she came top in her year. “To dispel prejudices against, um, what was it that professor said? Muggle-borns,” they told her, but she knew why.

Give me a Hermione whose parents succeeded in a career that was very difficult to enter, and expect the same of her.

Give me a Hermione who came second, or third, or fourth or even plain old middling in a subject she just hated in primary school, and was lectured until she cried. (Hence her mania to do well in History of Magic.)

Give me a Hermione who thinks she can’t trust teachers, especially since Minerva McGonagall doesn’t suspect anything about her parents’ request to send home a progress report every few weeks. This is, after all, not a skinny and defiant Harry Potter, but a girl who just loves to succeed – and what’s wrong with that, after all?

Give me a Hermione whose fanatic organizational system is a result of being grounded if she forgot a homework assignment.

(This is the brightest witch of her age, still – I must say it here. Don’t get me wrong. But school is not everything, and brightness can shine in unexpected places. There are simply other reasons for why she is how she is, in addition to brains.)

Give me a Hermione who is weak-kneed with relief that the Sorting Hat at least offered her Ravenclaw, because she can tell her parents so.

Give me a Hermione who is frightened whenever classwork or homework seems too easy, because what’s coming next? She studies far ahead to compensate.

Give me a Hermione who wishes she had an excuse to stay at Hogwarts over holidays, because her parents sit her down and “discuss” anything in her progress reports they don’t like until she breaks down in tears.

Give me a Hermione who in second year screamed “No!” when exams were canceled, because it was the only way to prove to her parents that she was still doing well even after she was “irresponsible” enough to get herself Petrified.

Give me a Hermione who lets Harry and Ron copy off her despite her annoyance, because although they seem happy, she has no idea what they might have to deal with at home should they fail. No matter how many times Harry exasperatedly explains that the Dursleys don’t care (when she asks in veiled terms, of course, because she can’t tell), she still wants to help. The same, of course, goes for Neville and his potions.

Give me a Hermione who wishes with all her heart that she can drop at least one of her subjects third year, even though she enjoys most of them (except for Divination, of course).

Give me a Hermione who forced herself to envision McGonagall instead of Mum and Dad when the boggart came up to her during third-year exams, because there was absolutely no way she was letting Lupin know.

Give me a Hermione whose parents insisted that she go through years of jaw pain and expense and ridicule to fix something that was genuinely giving her problems, just as they had, despite a magical solution – and who was so relieved when Snape gave her an excuse to do just the opposite.

Give me a Hermione who likes Viktor for his eagerness to talk with her about how interesting the contents of her books are, rather than how many there are.

Give me a Hermione who, in a tiny, guilty part of her heart, knows that she Obliviated her parents both for their safety and her own. They wouldn’t hesitate to hurt her in every verbal way they knew how if they heard she was dropping out of school.

Give me a Hermione who finds happiness in whatever career she chooses. Whatever person. Ron with his easy intelligence and love of logic and kindness. Viktor with his curiosity and willingness to teach her how to fly. Anyone and everyone, anything and everything, as long as it makes her happy and content. Give her free time and hobbies and smiles.

Give me a Hermione whose parents, years later, deny that they ever did any such things to her – “Your marks were fantastic!” – and give her the courage to tell them the truth.

Give me Hermione.

Some people accumulate too much iron in their blood. And so it accumulates in their organs, wrecking them, destroying them from the inside out. The only solution they have is to bleed, every so often, to get rid of the toxic substance in their blood.

I- my body is healthy. It is my mind that accumulates too much words in my head. They weigh down my shoulders, make it hard to stand up straight. They put pressure on my eyeballs. The only solution I have is to write, to cry ever so often, to get rid of the toxic ink in my veins, until it all comes back again.

I am not asking for your pity. What am I with your pity? Pity is meant for a lost cause, and I am not lost. I am too weighed down, and sometimes I need to curl into myself when everything becomes too much but I am here. I feel it in my aching shoulders, I feel it in my pounding heart, I feel it in the breath my lungs take.

Sometimes I wish to be lost, but that’s not right, not quite. I want to be free. It is the opposite of being lost- it is knowing so profoundly where you are and where you can go and how much you can accomplish.

I am not asking for your pity, but I am asking for your understanding. Understand how hard this is for me, how tired I am, how much I want to give up. I am asking for your help. Help me rewrite different words with this ink in my head. Help me make sense of it all. Help me forget myself.


Listen to me.

Listen to my quiet. Because I’ll never tell you this, it is too scary to share. But I want you so badly to know. When I go quiet it is not because of you; I am somewhere else. I am trapped into my head, pointing out everything I have ever done wrong.

When I seem cold or detached, it is not because of you. It is because I fear to let you know me, because I think there is something fundamentally wrong with me. It is because I am exhausted of being around people, because even when I am myself I feel like I am faking it.

I do not wish to be lost. I wish to be grounded. Not weighed down- grounded. They are not the same. I wish for these feet of mine to sprout roots into this earth, to be able to call this body of mine a home, and not a sin. To feel like I belong here, because I am here, to feel like I deserve to be taking up this space. To not feel like I should be shrinking myself to make room for you, or someone else. To not feel my tongue curling up because I don’t dare to spit out words, to not mute my cellphone because all my friends are talking and I feel like I have nothing worthwhile to say. Because I feel they would be better off without me.

I’d like to learn to just be a little, in peace. I’d like to live a little, I’d like to not feel like I should prove myself all the time.

It is hard for me. I’d like you to understand that so much.

I am not asking you to fix me, I am not asking you for anything. Just a second of your precious time to help me see I am here, and I am allowed to be here.

Just a minute of your time to help me remember how to breathe.

Just a smile, a little shake of your head, to show me that you don’t understand this world either.

Just a moment, so that I don’t feel so alone. Just a respite of this endless frustration of fighting against my own thoughts.

You Sure Got A Big Mouth (M)

(edit ©-credits to me: keehyung)

Title: You Sure Got A Big Mouth (M)

Pairing/s: teacher!y/n x teacher!jeon jungkook 

Summary: you were a english teacher who loved her job educating some high school kids for a better future. you loved the life of a high school teacher, even if that meant to put up with the hot history teacher; mr jeons’ annoying ass most of the time.

Warnings: graphic smut, hate sex, teacher!jungkook (this is personally a big warning for me lol) breathplay, teacher sex, dirty talk, spanking, asphyxiation (choking), calling names, rough sex, dom!jungkook + sub!reader

coming soon!

(gif ©-credits to me: jeonify)

Originally posted by jeonify

Clingy – Harry Styles

I read a really good “Clingy” imagine the other day and it kind of inspired me to write my own lol. Hope you enjoy!

Summary: You unintentionally go through Harry’s texts where he said you were being clingy.

You were laying on Harry’s bed, binge watching Stranger Things when his phone started to vibrate next to you. You glanced over and noticed that Jeff was calling but you brushed it off thinking that Harry will call him back when he gets out of the shower.

But then he called a second time. Then a third time. Then texted when he wasn’t being answered.

You got up with Harry’s phone in your hand and walked into the bathroom.

“Babe, Jeff keeps calling and texting you. Do you want me to answer him?” You said, peaking your head in. You stood close to the door, trying to prevent any cold air from going in the steamy bathroom.

“Huh?” Harry asked, he poked his head out of the shower curtain and you smiled at the sight of him squinting his eyes from his wet hair that fell in front. “Oh, um, yeah that’s fine. Just text him that I’ll call him back in a few minutes. I’m almost done.”

You mumbled a quick “ok” before he disappeared back behind the curtain. You closed the door and walked back to his bed, opening his messages.

“Hey Jeff! It’s Y/N here, Harry’s in the shower right now but said he’ll call you back in a few minutes.”

Almost instantly the typing bubble popped up and he replied back, “Ok cool, thanks for letting me know!”

You swiped down on the screen to hide the keyboard and was just about to turn off his phone when you saw your name in the conversation.

Keep reading


Happy 26th birthday, Thiago! (11.04.1991)

Some thoughts on Jensen and Destiel and Dean’s bisexuality (with a bit of Misha thrown in)

Q: How come Dean’s allowed to have a crush on Dr. Sexy MD, and yet Destiel and his bisexuality aren’t canon?


Jensen Ackles, when asked a question posed to him by fans clearly wanting to piss him off, because the question is on a topic he has explicitly stated he does not want to engage with, denies Destiel, but stays clear of denying Dean’s bisexuality. 

Funny. I mean, not funny hah-hah, more like funny intriguing.

I don’t know about you, but to me it’s clear how a will-they-won’t-they love story that’s been built for going on a decade would probably suffer from both actors involved in it confirming it.

Misha started out talking rather openly about how Destiel is an intentional part of the narrative - almost going so far as to get pissy about how this was even a question, if rumours are to be believed - then less openly, until he, as early as last year, was scuttling around the Destiel question like it was on fire. Why? I would venture a complete guess and say that it’s most likely to do with all the negativity thrown his way whenever he’s engaged with it, accusations of queerbaiting flying at him and the show, when this couldn’t be farther away from what they’ve actually been doing all these years, delivering a narrative the likes of which has never been seen on television before.

So, yeah, Misha started out really not getting why he’d have to lie or skirt the topic of there being a M/M love story built on SPN (because I think he thought that’s a bullshit approach and why shouldn’t they be open about them being pro LGBTQ etc) but has grown to realise that he can’t confirm shit because:

a) he contractually can’t discuss any details of what that confirmation actually means for the characters or the show 

b) being vaguely confirmative on the topic only causes severe upset among the fandom and he doesn’t want to be responsible for it

(that’s ^^^ from Dec 2016 btw) (part of this fantastic onset interview)

So Misha will tease in his own sadistic little way, of course, but he appears to have grown to take this stuff pretty seriously, by the looks of his changed attitude over the years. In the later years either he’ll flat out state that he knows the Destiel question causes upset and so he steers clear of it, or he’ll just generally avoid answering the question, talking circles around it and then finding an excuse to get the hell off the stage, for good reason. 

All this while the above, often only half-quoted, panel moment of Jensen’s is delivered by an actor who is portraying a bisexual character and, I wouldn’t be surprised, wishes he could come out and say it loud and proud, but can’t, because it would effectively ruin Dean’s finely crafted character journey for the audience. Jensen confirming Dean’s bisexuality would put a serious dampener on the revelation to the GA that the whole point of SPN is the deconstruction of the Masculine Ideal, the Cowboy, the Manly Man’s Man.

Why would it put a dampener? Because how do you change an idea? How do you make an argument against something that is deeply ingrained in the mindset of millions of people? You start out by agreeing, by enforcing that idea, by going to great lengths to create a world reflecting that idea - only to slowly move away from that idea (or go genitals on full display, either way works) because the idea you actually want to reinforce is the opposite of what has been so deeply ingrained. 

Simply put, SPN was never about glorifying the Male Hero or the Masculine Stereotype, it was always about pointing out how we are not our gender, our sexuality, our race, our age, our cultural heritage, our body type - we are all people first. And we do not judge others and we are not ourselves judged by this bullcrap for any other reason than the societal norm dictating to us what we should find acceptable, and us accepting being dictated to. SPN is about freedom from this preconceived notion that anyone can tell us who to be, it’s about self-liberation. 

Aka no one can tell you who you are, you’re born with the ability to make that choice for yourself - and it isn’t who you are, but what you do, that defines you.

By making Dean Winchester a strong, badass, kick-the-door-down-to-save-a-life hero with many, many softer sides to him that makes him human and relatable, the SPN writers and Jensen himself have given us someone who can call bullshit on the hypocrisy of loving him only if he is straight and fits with what the norm has labeled acceptable masculine behaviour. 

When Dean and Cas get together it’s going to blow such a big fucking hole in that argument because Dean will still be Dean - he will still be exactly the same amount of strong, badass, kick-the-door-down-to-save-a-life hero that he’s always been: he just happens to also have a lot of softness to him that he’s gotten very good at suppressing, and he just happens not be straight. 

Because he is bi. And he is in love with a man.

In January of this year, as the panel at the top of this post is being held, Jensen does what he can to avoid straight up lying about his own portrayal of Dean Winchester, and I’d venture another guess and say he does it because he loves Dean, he knows Dean, he fucking lives Dean, and Dean knows he’s bi. Meaning what? Meaning Jensen likes this fire stoked, perhaps? This reading of Dean having a crush on Dr. Sexy. Because people seeing bi!Dean means that Jensen’s choices as an actor are actually shining through. 

As far as Jensen actually being “uncomfortable” with the Destiel question goes ————————>

Does not look all that uncomfortable teasing Dean and Cas to me, at least not in the context of being relaxed and flirtatious with his costar and friend on stage. I mean, the last of these gifs is from JiB8. Held in May of this year. Six months after the dismissal of the Destiel question. Could there be a reason for these conflicting impressions of how Jensen handles Destiel overall? Hmmmm.

Jensen Ackles is a professional actor - the whole “he relates too much to Dean and this subtly implies that he is such a homophobic human being that he would never be ok with Dean being anything but straight” argument needs to be dropped to the bottom of the deepest darkest ocean and forgotten for all eternity. (please with a thank you on the side) 

And, sure, it’s easy to blow the “just to stoke that fire a little bit” comment off as a joke (made at a panel where he’s in the middle of debunking the Destiel as even remotely viable……..) but at the end of the day… 

Well, I say day - of course I mean series.

There will be such lovely blues and purples and pinks, my lovelies! All the way.


hey my lovely dear friends, human or otherwise 😺🐶 I was lucky enough to receive an early access code from EA for the new cats & dogs expansion!! big thanks going out to EA!

so, without any further ado, I am so excited to share with you my take on the highly anticipated addition of our furry friends into the sim world. join your girl blarf as I take on my first day in Brindleton Bay! 

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Originally posted by jiminiemini

Pairing: demonJungkook x Reader
Genre: smut, humiliation
Warnings: sex, demeaning names, humiliation, choking, degradation, unprotected sex, ass play

Unfortunately for you, you couldn’t ignore the demon’s subtle smirk. Shaking your head, you frowned slightly as you scowled, glaring at him and clenching your fists.

“And all that for what? For a goddamn wish.”

You whispered with venom in your voice at the thought of your already lost best friend. Jungkook snickered a bit at your reaction, humming a bit and taking in your tense sight.The demon seemed to gauge your reactions with both curiosity and interest. From what you had seen so far, Jungkook never threatened you but however, he was tempting you to contract and to deal with him.

“Come on. Actually, I know what humans desire the most. What humans like you don’t get is the fact you could only be more powerful for just a single wish, and yet…”

His mocking glance plunged into yours and you blinked, adrenalin coursing through your veins as the chestnut-haired demon slowly made his way to you, his words slowly sinking into your mind. Through long lashes, you gazed at him, lost in thoughts and still trying to process what was happening. It was partly your fault. If only you had better reasoned your friend for not playing with supernatural…

“You are as involved as her. And now she seems to like how my talents worked for her. Why don’t you eventually give in?“

Keep reading

Yesterday I got to the conclusion you are never over the emo/punck rock phase, it’s there, inside you, only on pause, waiting for the right moment to come back full force.

“It Is Okay” Poetry For The Signs

there was a war in your childhood home, and you can still remember the fires, how the blood was
pretty and sick on the bathroom’s pristine tiles, your mother’s still warm body limp in the tub.
breathe in through the mouth: in, out, in. you are not guilty. It’s okay her life is not on your hands.

Keep reading

Why does it feel like I need someone to understand me? I just wish there could be someone out there who I can only give a look to, and they’ll know exactly what to tell me. We can’t read eachothers minds, but can we try and read eachothers hearts. To understand how much one heart could be in so much pain, and all we ask for is someone to hug us while we shed our messy tears. Yet there is no one around, and I don’t see anyone coming to help anytime soon. So I sit here, alone, with the sheds of my heart falling out piece by piece.

- I guess this is what you call a broken heart.

37. Just A Little Bit More (Steve Harrington x Reader)

Summary: You and Steve Harrington became close over your senior year, but you can’t deny you’ve been attracted to him for a long time. The last thing you want to do is ruin the friendship, so what happens when you choose to confront how you feel?

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Word Count: 1432

Author’s note: My first Strangers Things fanfic. Would love feedback! :) Rating: T! Sweetness and fluff.

Originally posted by twinsand

Just A Little Bit More

“Just a little bit more!,” Steve shouts out, furiously clicking on his controller. You’re side by side on your couch with Steve Harrington, both of you glued to the TV.

“Don’t forget there’s a Super Mushroom by that pipe,” you say breathlessly, pointing at the screen while Steve presses hard on the controller buttons.

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bixgirl1  asked:

"I'll never unsee that"! (For lines asks!)

@bixgirl1 I think we both knew how I’d be doing this one lmao 

This is also for @thelilybythesun15 ❤️

Harry waits until he’s sure Draco’s asleep. Pulling his arm free very carefully, he pulls on his pants, quietly shuts the door behind himself and pads out sheepishly into the living room, scratching behind his ear as he comes upon Ron sitting in the dark, cross legged on the sofa, one hand wrapped around a bottle of Ogden’s, staring blankly at the wall.


Ron looks up at that, staring impassively at Harry for a full ten seconds before taking a huge gulp of the whiskey. Swallowing forcefully, he wipes the back of a hand over his mouth before croaking, “I’m moving out.”

Nodding, Harry sinks down next to him, cheeks feeling hot. “I really am sorry we didn’t shut the door mate. We– I thought you were going to stay over at Mione’s tonight!”

“You thought I’m–?!” Ron seems out of words for a while before he decides to drink some more. “This is–” Ron breaks off, holding up a finger as the whiskey threatens to come right back up. After a few seconds of gulping loudly, Ron continues, “Harry, I’m your fucking roommate! I fucking live here. Whether or not you think I’m going to be back for the night doesn’t matter. You both are always doing this!” He pauses to drink another angry mouthful before, “Last week, I come home to find you buggering him over the fucking kitchen counter! I’ll never unsee that?! I haven’t been able to go into the kitchen all week, Harry!”

“You weren’t supposed to be back that early–” Harry starts in a mumble. 

“I will hex you so fucking bad, Harry, I swear to–” Ron starts to grit.

“Alright, alright! Merlin. You barely even saw anything tonight! The door was only just ajar?!”

“I literally saw your cock going in and out of Malfoy’s ridiculously pink arsehole. Do you want more details?”

Harry wishes he could just evaporate.

“N-no. That many details is more than sufficient.”

“Good.” Ron takes another swig, and then sets the bottle aside with a sigh. “It’s fine. “Mione asked me to move in with her anyway.”

“That’s fantastic!” Harry says enthusiastically.

“Shut up, you’re still in disgrace.”

Harry hangs his head. “I’ll…help you pack?”

Ron snorts. “Uhhhh, yeah you will! And I’m taking the fucking armchair.”

“Not the armchair! Draco loves the armchair!”

“So buy him another one,” Ron says on a sneer, his expression startling in its resemblance to Harry’s boyfriend. 

Harry frowns. “I rimmed him on that armchair yesterday, you know.”

A beat. Then, “I’ll just buy my own fucking armchair.”

“I’ll come help you pick.”

letters to the signs as i know them right now

aries: hey, i miss you. snap me sometime? I miss your smile. i miss laughing with you and eating ramen. i miss those summer nights where we turned night into day. you were my best friend and I’m not entirely sure what happened. but i sure miss you a lot. 

taurus: you were my go to. the one i could trust and knew would be there for me. im really sad you broke that. i miss you, or i miss who i thought you were. because what you did isn’t what you would do. so maybe you’re very different than what i thought. hopefully sometime you would be willing to talk it out. i know you’re stubborn as shit and wont apologize. so ill do it instead. i love you. im sorry.

gemini: oh you. well i still love you, you know. hopefully you do. i repeated it to you the last few times we spoke. i miss laying in my backyard and looking at the stars with you. i miss getting popsicles and walking downtown with you. i miss your hands. but i heard someone else is holding them now. i miss your hair. i also that heard you cut it all off. i hope one day ill get to see you again. maybe you’ll come back here to visit. or ill stop by colorado. and we can smoke a bowl or something. you’re always in my heart. sometimes, you even sneak your way into my daydream.

cancer: you’re the only one who doesn’t hate me, i think. even though you have good reason to. when you saw me standing alone today, you were the only one to come say hi. i appreciated that more than anything. thank you. thank you, for being kind. thank you for taking care of my friend.

leo: hey, im constantly torn between talking to you or not. I’ve learned my lesson not to play with fire with you. but the sun soaks up water and maybe thats why im constantly drawn to you. you were my only friend for most of high school and i appreciate that. maybe its best if we keep a distance. and just remember the good times. 

virgo: hi. i miss you the most, probably. its your third year away from home and i miss your face like hell. i wish you didn’t have to leave at such an early age. i wish we got to spend our last teenage years together. thanks for making me always feel okay with myself. even if no one else is okay with me. and making me feel normal. i love u to the moon and back. and then again, a couple more times.

libra: im sorry. im really sorry. there isn’t any use apologizing or explaining myself because i was in the wrong. but sometimes, i wish i could tell you i wasn’t the only one. and your friend who tells you things about me that aren’t all true, also did things to you. but i wont tell you that. i dont want to be like her. but i dont think you would believe me even if i did. i do care about you. you’re one of my only friends. i hope i can repaire that. 

scorpio: i dont get to talk to you much. but the day i was sat with your friends and they all left, you stayed. i really appreciate that. more than you know. it warmed my heart. and that was the first time i felt something like that. 

sagittarius: hi u. you’re like my brother. i feel like i can talk to you. and you wont judge me. i like hanging out with you. you’re about the only guy who will talk to me and listens to me, not what everyone else says about me. you’re real. when you let me see that part of you its wonderful. i wish it would come out more.

capricorn: i dont know what you think of me right now. i really care about you. i hope being the friend that i have you can see that. your smile is breathtaking. i know he’s taking care of you. thats all i ever hope for. i love you. 

aquarius: im sorry i put so much pressure on you. thank you for being there while i figure out my situation. im sorry if i seem clingy. i would hug u all the time if i could. but i know ur aquarian independence is important. i admire that a lot, actually. i love you so much. thank you for always trusting me. xx

pisces: hi. i wrote you another letter. i wont give that one to you though. it hurt me when you told everyone about the one i wrote you. i poured my heart into 6 pages. it took me an hour to put together. everything put together in a system that would translate as genuine. i hope when you’re older, you’ll learn something like that stays in your heart, and not your mouth. i looked over at you today. you were already looking at me. i don’t know what to think about that. i hope we can be friends again, at some point.