and I just feel like I need to do my own thing for a while

anonymous asked:

i'm sorry the fandom ruined things for you. i'm having a hard time dealing with it all too. :( i hope you feel better tho because i really love your caryl fics and all you contribute to the fandom, i'd hate to see you leave <3

Awww thank you so much ❤

Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. Things like that just ruin my mood and motivation for a while, which is why I don’t usually go into the tag and I don’t follow a lot of people, either. I just like to stay away from drama. I’ve had enough of that in other fandoms to last me a lifetime and I just want to enjoy the things I do like in peace.

It’s not that I don’t think people are entitled to sharing their own opinions. But it often gets so spiteful and some people tend to generalize their dislike and I really hate that. I don’t need anybody to tell me how I’m supposed to feel about something.

Also, I tend to have a slightly different opinion about shipping or a different way to go about it than a lot of other people do. I don’t ship for canon. That’s not what I’m here for. If it happens, great. But what matters most to me, what I really enjoy more than anything when it comes to shipping, is the journey there. All the little moments here and there that make you think: yes, those two are in love. I’d rather have years of that even if it ultimately leads nowhere than rushed, badly executed canon just for the sake of it.

I know this is a fairly unpopular opinion. And I’m not saying this show is doing a particularly great job at the build up because it’s not. I’m disappointed and frustrated, too. Mostly because I feel like no matter what they do now on the show can ever make up for everything they haven’t done in the past. But it is what it is and I want to be able to enjoy what little I can still find joy in and not let that be ruined by other people.

I’m not saying everybody should accept things the way they are or not post about them. I just need to stay away from that and I failed at that yesterday.

What I have no understanding or tolerance for whatsoever is bashing other people’s ships. On both sides. Being rude and unnecessarily spiteful and not letting other people enjoy what they care about even if you disagree with it. I find that extremely irritating and it’s another reason I don’t venture past the safe bubble of my dashboard.

I’m sorry this turned into such a rant, but I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you so much again for being so sweet *hugs*

THIS MIGHT BE A REACH BUT I THINK I’M ONTO SOMETHING HERE.

OKAY OKAY SO LISTEN 
There’s a lot of discorse about the new season and that’s understandable BUT I want you guys to look at something with me for a second. 

 I wanna talk about Keith and Lance. We all know Keith’s going through a lot, the blade of marmora is convincing him his own life matters less than the mission, that if he died it would just be for the greater good of the cause. So he’s pulling away, trying to make it so that Voltron doesn’t need him so that he could be… disposable. 

So Keith talks to Shiro and tries to get him to go back to being the black paladin. And *cough cough* fake *cough* Shiro tells him to buckle the heck up and stop whining and just be the black paladin. He doesn’t see, in that moment just what Keith is trying to do. So he gets mad. 

This is a face of pure dissapointment in Shiro. And Keith sees it. He really sees it, and feels it too. But he doesnt know what to do about it.

He’s the lone wolf, right? He doesn’t know how to function in a team properly. In the B.O.M he’s much more independant. Yes, he gets orders and people he goes on with missions but if you really watch most of those missions involve very little teamwork. 

So Keith is pulling away, but at the same time he’s getting the rejection from everyone in the team that’s pushing him away. When he shows up late in the begining of episode one Hunk, Pidge and Lance are super pissed at him, right? 

Right? 

No, go back and look at Lance. He’s not angry. He’s worried. 

Yeah, he says “Are you even taking this seriously?” But think about it. Keith is someone who throws himself into missions. He takes everything he does seriously and he puts a 100% of himself into what he does. He doesn’t half ass things, and it pays off. He gets results. 

Lance is used to seeing Keith do well. At the Garrison he was top of the class, when he was still with Voltron he usually spent his free time training. And now, all of a sudden he’s late to missions, falling behind while he’s the leader. 

Not only that but remember this scene? 

 Again,everyone looks super pissed right? No look at Lance. 

And remember the dialogue? 

Allura:You keep saying you’re sorry but your actions say otherwise. Do you realise that your actions put the entire team in jeoprady? 
Lance: And not Just the team but the refugees too. 

and again, look at his face as he says it. 

He’s not angry. He’s confused there. Think about it. What did Keith tell Pidge when she tried to leave? That other people’s lives were at stake if she left. Keith cares about the people he’s out there protecting. Lance understands that this is not how Keith normally is. 

We know that they got closer in season 3 with Lance opening up to Keith and all and you might even call them friends. Sure he’s not as close as (the real) Shiro is to Keith, but he’s close enough to see Keith isn’t himself. 

But what if… what if Keith did open up. 

I get that this might be somewhat of a reach BUT if you watch Keith’s vlog, it’s very likely he wasn’t alone when he filmed it (he looks like he’s talking to someone off camera. but also tells them to get them out of there. Not only that but the camera turns off and from how emotional he got and the way he was walking its unlikely he turned it off and if you watch Allura’s vlog, she definitely gets closer to turn it off). Now my first thought would be that seeming it’s tech related it would be likely that Pidge would be with him. 

But it doesn’t seem like something that Pidge would be into. Sitting and making vlogs with the paladins. Not her style. 

Okay so maybe Coran? He was the first to upload a vlog, and the camera might be some castle gear? Sounds reasonable enough. But why only be there for Keith’s vlog? Allura was definitely alone during her’s. Also, I dont see them having the kind of bond where Keith would say any of that to Coran. No offense Space unc, we love you. 

OKAY so not Coran or Pidge… so maybe Allura? 

No, the bond isn’t strong enough. As someone who is pretty similar to Keith in defense mechanisms, I don’t see him trusting her to a point where he’s this open with her especially after what happened the last time he opened up about his Galra identity. 

(We all know where I’m going with this, but for argument’s sake; I will keep going. Feel free to skip ahead.) 

Okay so Hunk maybe? He has the tech know-how and stood up for Keith during the whole Galra thing. Even if he did tease him a little… Okay but even then they haven’t really had much bonding since then. I suppose it’s possible if Keith was feeling particularly vulnerable and whatever. But… Would Hunk really bother Keith to make a vlog? and would Keith ask Hunk to help with a vlog? 

It doesn’t really seem in character. Yes, they’re closer but still… not close enough. 

So that leaves Shiro and Lance. First, lets look at why I don’t think it’s Shiro. 

As we know Shiro is someone Keith looks up to. He’s always extremely respectful towards him and it shows in his facial expressions and way of speaking. 

but then look at this; 

Thats not a face Keith would make at Shiro.

You know who he does make faces like that at? 

L A N C E 

So lets think about this. Does Lance have the tech know how? Well he’s always stealing Pidge’s shit so I’mma go ahead and say, yeah to that one. Allura seems equally technically inclined as Lance, so seeming she has no trouble with it that makes sense. 

And even if Keith didn’t ask Lance to help him with his vlog, you know what does seem Lance like? Suggesting Keith makes a vlog. 

So lets asume here, for a moment that Lance knows about Keith’s abandonment issues. That would explain why he looks so worried in the screenshot from before, right? He knows Keith is feeling rejected by his team and he knows that Keith’s behaviour has changed since he started working more with the blade. 

But while they got closer in season 3, and Lance has a better understanding of Keith now, I also think Keith was eager to put some distance between them after that outburst. So he starts working with the blade a lot, right? Meaning Lance hardly sees him. 

So they take a few steps back in their friendship.

And then Kolivan calls Keith to a mission that they all know will be dangerous and look at Lance’s face. 

Yes, you could read it as Lance not wanting his spotlight gone BUT remember that Lance isn’t as shallow as he seems at first glance. He’s not the loverboy he pretends to be and few realise it, but he masks a lot of his emotions. 

Yes, Lance thrives on attention. But do you really think that he would prioritise a show over a mission that could give them a great boost in power? No, this isn’t about the show, this goes deeper. He’s worried. He’s worried about Keith. 

He doesn’t want him to go. He needs him around. But he cant tell him that. Especially not in front of everyone. 

So what does Lance do? 

He makes a stupid argument, its not much, but it’s all he’s got. “We can’t razzle dazzle the crowd with four lions.” 
We need you, I need you. Thats what he’s trying to say. 

And Keith refuses. 

So Lance has that same expression. He’s looking at Shiro in dissbelief this time because he can’t believe he’s letting him go. 

So what we’ve established thus far is the following; 

-Lance definitely feels closer to Keith than he used to. 
-Lance was probably there during Keith’s vlog.
-Lance isn’t as straight forward as people think he is. 
-There’s probably some distance between them right now. 
-Lance has noticed Keith’s change in behaviour. 

So with all that in mind, do you really think Lance doesn’t see that Keith is in a bad place. He knows something is up. He can feel Keith pulling and he’s trying to tell him that they need him around but he doesn’t know how to say it. And then… then Keith tells them he’s leaving. 

yeah, everyone looks sad, but look at Lance. He looks deep in thought. What do you think he’s thinking? He just realised he lost Keith. And he gets it. Suddenly it all makes sense. Keith more or less reforced the bond between Black and Shiro and he was acting strange, showing up late. This is what’s been up with Keith and Lance finally figure out that this whole time, he was losing Keith. 

But he gives it one last try. 

Who am I going to make fun of? 

It’s so much more than a playfull jab. Think about it. Really think about it. 

“Who am I going to make fun of?”

Who am I gonna talk to? 

Don’t go. 

There’s Nothing Wrong With You

One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard was “There’s nothing wrong with you”. 

It was a Monday morning and I was relaxing with friends in a hotel pool after playing Lollapalooza. A lady bobbed opposite me sipping a ginormous glass of rose, and we started chatting. She was a stylist and told me that, when her clients tried outfits on and looked at themselves in the mirror, she would tell them “There’s nothing wrong with you”. I asked her why and she said, “because we all think there’s something wrong with us ”. It was such an odd, simple notion, but I felt like a little flower had opened up inside of me. It hadn’t occurred to me that it could be a universal feeling. There was always something so wrong with ME, I hadn’t considered that other people might feel the same. The comment stuck with me like glue for the next year. 

Illustration by Lan Truong

 I lived most of my life feeling like there was something deeply wrong with me. Everything I did was somehow geared towards fixing the parts of myself I thought were bad or ‘broken’. There was also an odd safety in being broken. I could quietly blame it for anything that went wrong in my life: “It’s not my fault: I’m f**ed up and I am very sorry!”. For a while, I had counselling, and though it was extremely helpful, I started to feel uneasy at the idea of chatting about my problems, potentially for years, if I chose to. Like, really… When would I be fixed?

For me, life =  Experiences + reactions to those experiences. The only power I have is choosing how I react to them. So, though I might have uncomfortable emotional reactions, I can choose to a) accept these emotions, instead of resisting them, and b) not interpret my thoughts as the Solid Gold Truth. Whatever your problems may be, (diagnosed or not), they don’t equate to you being broken. In my own life, it’s been unhelpful to think of mental health problems in this way, particularly when you’re struggling. You are who you are at this moment in time, and you’re doing your best. Brains are plastic. People can, and do, change.

Illustration by Lolrel

  If you follow my music, it probably won’t come as a big surprise to know that I’ve dealt with mental health issues for a long time. There have been 3 things that have helped me decrease periods of depression though. For anyone in the same position, I hope this helps.

1. Meditation

This changed my mind + my life. I started doing meditation in 2013 after Electra Heart had ended. I was burnt out and desperate for change. I took no classes, read no books - just looked at a 5 minute explanation on the internet. I didn’t even do it every day. Just 20 minutes in the morning or evening. In the beginning, I felt a little dubious about the idea of “wasting 20 whole minutes” on meditation each day. But here’s the thing: Meditation is like a vacuum for your mind. It sucks up all the dust and rubbish thoughts. I can easily waste 20 minutes looking at something on the internet that I’ll never think about again, so I can invest 20 minutes in something that changes the quality of my life. This blog described Meditation as “one of the best responses to modern information overload”. I truly believe it can be an antidote to our digital lives.

Illustration by Lolrel 

2. Exercise

I know, I know. When you’re depressed, the last thing you want to do is go outside INTO THE REAL WORLD! But if you’re bottom-of-the-barrel depressed, you have nothing to lose. For years I loved to declare that I “didn’t have a body that could run”  (in order to escape ever having to actually run). But when I start meditation, the negative thoughts about myself decreased and I started to want good things for myself. The motive of exercising was not to lose weight, so it had a different energy to it.

3. Identifying With Thoughts

The reality is, I still deal with depression, but my reaction to it is different. I am more aware of its mechanisms so I don’t take my thoughts as seriously. I try not to identify with a thought and interpret it as truth just because it came into my mind. Why? Because the way I think and respond to events is largely based on my past experiences, so how can I know that my thoughts are my own and not coloured by my past? This is why I don’t always trust my thoughts, particularly when they are of the negative variety. A book I hugely recommend on this is called “Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. 

I’ve wanted to write this post for a long time for people who struggle with similar issues. Our culture has taught us to see happiness as some kind of end goal, but for me, the best thing about it is that it doesn’t stick around forever. Human beings need to experience some level of suffering in order to evolve emotionally and consciously. And though depression often feels like you’re stuck, or stagnating, it can also be a healthy way of your mind telling you that something isn’t quite right, and that it’s in the process of changing. We tend to view sadness as something unnatural, or negative, but perhaps viewing it as a necessary process might help us accept the low periods, and move through them more easily.

Before writing my last album, I honestly thought that I had just been born unhappy and that depression was a permanent part of me. I don’t believe that anymore. When I was writing ‘FROOT’ I felt like I was kissing goodbye to a big chapter of my life. That portion of my youth was heart-splitting and lonely at times, but it was also dazzling and beautiful. And that’s how life is for a lot of us. If only I’d known all those years that it was just part of being human.

Ask a question or share a thought here.  

Love, Marina

13.01 coda

YAY WE’RE BACK, EVERYONE!!! Did you miss me?? I missed you.

If you would like to be added to or taken off of the master tag list for the season 13 post-episode codas, please send me a message ASAP. Thanks, guys!

Anyway, this scene definitely should have been in the ep.

“Can he teleport?”

“What?”

“The kid!” Dean snaps. “Does he have wings?”

Sam stutters out that he doesn’t know, and, right. How would he? Dean wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and it comes away bloody - his lip stings where he’s touched it.

He closes his eyes and takes a slow breath in through his nose. He’s trying his absolute hardest to keep it together, but his hands shake regardless.

“We can check along the main roads,” Sam placates, mistaking his silence for frustration. “We’ll be faster in the car than he is on foot, assuming he doesn’t fly, and he can’t have gotten far.”

Dean opens his eyes, but he doesn’t reply. He keeps his back to his brother.

“It’s going to be ok, Dean,” Sam says, only a few feet behind him now, and damn it if that just doesn’t break Dean’s heart all over again.

Soon enough he hears the dirt start to crunch under Sam’s shoes. He has to swerve around Dean to get to the passenger side, his usual post in times of crisis, but Dean lets out a sigh just as he gets his hand on the door.

“Wait.”

Sam turns back to look at him, eyebrows raised expectantly.

Dean swallows. “I need you to help me with something first.”

Keep reading

satanslesbianmother  asked:

I am creating a black female character for a story that takes place in an area where...well, she's surrounded by white people who are almost obsessively politically correct, to the point of enforcing "colorblindness." I feel it's important to her character and to authenticity for her to react to her white friends being intimidated around the subject of race, but I don't want to end up writing the white person's "ideal black response" unintentionally. Any pointers?

Black Girl Living in a “Colorblind” Environment

Hey there,

Wooow, that’s like my entire life over here. Yes, I do have some pointers, but they’ll mostly just be my thoughts and experiences. Not everyone will have the same reactions as I do, but I hope this will help.

Internalized Racism

So I’ll just start by saying this is the perfect breeding ground for internalized racism. It is an everyday thing so subtle, so normalized absolutely every time, that the racism is hardly ever recognized for what it is. If your character is somewhat like me or people I know, they will struggle with the urge to not stand out, try to assimilate into the dominant culture or distance themselves from their culture(s) at the expense of their own identity, feeling the need to compensate and deflect stereotypes. They’ll be gaslit left and right, and replying with anything other than silence or agreement will most of the time start discussions or fights. They might at times feel like they’re living a lie, feel out of place and start questioning themselves. There’s more but you get the gist of it.

Reactions to Environment

Now most reactions will come down to: 

1) completely rejecting the white people and their culture,

2) trying to become like the white people and take on their views, 

3) or social withdrawal. 

What they all have in common is A LOT of unease surrounding your roots, your race and expressing your true self. 

Daily Struggles

There will be a lot of tension and anxiety when matters of race surface, even when they don’t end up mentioned or discussed. Feeling like you don’t belong, that you’ll only be accepted as long as you keep your mouth shut about racism.

Feeling unsafe comes to mind. I imagine your character desperately searching for people who might be different, looking for friends of color online, trying to make sense of their experiences by searching online, that sort of thing. If they do try to express themselves it’s because that person gives them the feeling that they just might be a bit more understanding than others and might get into discussions desperately trying for them to understand them. I imagine them not wanting to be seen as a stereotype while not wanting their race/roots/ethnicity pushed aside. High chances they will be passive aggressive about it because they lack any other meaningful way to express themselves. 

Of course there will be Black and brown people who’re content with assimilating into a culture like this. Good for them. But plenty of people also force themselves to believe that in order to survive. 

That’s what most of it comes down to. Surviving an environment that’s hostile towards you while it masquerades as your dear friend. 

~ Mod Alice

Daily Struggles - Racism & Racial Tension

In middle school, I had this friend. I was telling her a story involving someone else when she asked a strangely-worded question. 

“Did she look like you or me?” 

I was all “huh” until she pointed to my arm, my skin.

“Like you…” She said, then pointed to her own arm. “Or like me?”

I instantly fed off of the race-is-scary vibe and just muttered “Oh, like you…”

I grew up in a slightly less intense version of Alice’s environment, and my experience was passive-aggressive racism (micro-aggressions) with both the micro-aggressions and aggressive racism brushed over and kept low key. (That lady moved her purse when you walked by because she thinks you’ll steal it? Nah, she just needed it to warm her lap!)

I rarely felt the heat of racism. It wasn’t as blatant. Still, it happened in pockets.

Daily “racial tension” would be stares in public because seeing a Black person in the supermarket was a marvel. At school and other frequented places, well, they get used to you, so unless you’re the very new kid, it’s not likely she’d be made awkward on the day-to-day for existing (At least not until slavery is discussed and everyone is turning their heads to stare at her..).

Colorblind Environment and Balancing Culture

Alice hit the main points. Some reject the dominant culture, some embrace it (and may even allow and make race jokes at their own expense to cope) and some withdraw completely. I don’t think anyone fits into any neat category. 

Consider that your character may fall on a scale of embracing her situation, and rejecting some aspects. No one person is the same. 

I think background and home life will affect how she copes in this environment. I moved into my super-white town at a pretty young age, prior to that growing up in a culturally-diverse city and had sisters who did as well. We were able to embrace our culture at home among each other and other family even if that openness could not be experienced with most people in the neighborhood. If I’d been older before I moved, I probably wouldn’t have given a damn a bit more, or rejected more of the environment’s culture, but hey. 

Either way, it’s very possible for her to blend and embrace more than one culture. But how one embraces or how much, depends on the person.

Now, embracing different culture depending on the environment and code-switching doesn’t mean you’re at a cultural crisis or both sides cannot co-exist. For example, while I was made awkward about race in one experience, around that same age and time, I brought a bigger celebration of Black History Month to that same school by approaching administration on the severe lack of it. With permission and the help of friends, we made posters and announcements celebrating prominent Black leaders and inventors. That would not have happened if I didn’t have cultural pride being nourished elsewhere.

In Short

With maturity, self-realization, getting away from that environment and/or connecting with a knowledgeable and accepting group of people comes accepting what living in the dominant culture has made you, and hopefully embracing and not losing the culture you might’ve experienced without its influence.

As always, we’d also recommend having appropriate beta-readers take a look at your story for sensitivity and accuracy.

~Mod Colette

P.S. Based on some responses defending colorblindness as a good thing, which it’s not and is in fact racist (!) I would urge you to research the harms of the colorblind approach and learn of the huge disservice it is to People of Color to ignore the beauty that is diversity and in recognizing cultural differences.

PSA: “Seeing color” isn’t the same as “judging color.” 

Won’t dwell on it here. I do want to quote mod Brei from a different ask

Colorblindness is an act of racism by denying to acknowledge differences. I mean, no one ever says “I don’t see gender” so why apply such ignorance to race?

A cry for help: The Arch of Steven’s Mental Health.

Brace people, this is kind of dark. Honestly, the only wild ride I’ve been seeing in SU is Steven’s deteriorating mental health and self perception. He’s only 14, he’s been asked to be way too mature for his age, and some insane expectations are placed upon him- most likely accidentally- by his elders. That he’s in some way the person fated to continue his mother’s work (even if no one has told him what it was, exactly), that he is his mother, and therefore he’s to blame for all the shit she did, and no one has told him otherwise (i mean, Bismuth did, but we all know what happened there). Of course Steven’s not to blame on this. As much as I love Greg and the Gems, a lot of Steven’s current mental caos is on them too. They did the best they could with what they had, but when raising a kid and dealing with a teen, that’s often not enough.

So, we can examine Steven’s character AS IT IS NOW, with some specific factors:

  • Teenagerhood: We’ve all been- some of you are- there. Steven is 14, as I said, those years are chaotic, confusing and weird, you’re figuring yourself and your identity, slowly coming to terms with the changes in your life and body and starting to discover what you want of life. And that’s without being your own mother and having the impending end of the world on your shoulders, just imagine what teenager years will do to someone as kind and traumatized as Steve(v.Book 7 Harry). Of course he’s bottling everything up and not trusting anyone, he’s in a confusing period while the world is demanding him to keep a straight face and a clear mind, of course he developed unhealthy coping mechanis, which brings me to:

  •  Missplaced guilt and Individuality: The big, mayor issue I see here is Steven subconsciously crying for help in the form of “this mess is all my (my mother’s) fault, it’s my sole responsability to fix it haha”, and NO ONE is fucking correcting him. Steven developed this fixation with self sacrificing because he lost himself at some poin. Not hard to do being a teen with horrible expectations hanging over you, but somewhere along the road, Steven kind of gave up trying to assert his own identity actively and settled for being a less messy extention of his mother. He seems to have embraced the whole “i’m my mom” narrative, and thinks the only way to repair his mom’s awful mistakes (hang on with that one) is to offer himself as a scape goat for all the pain she has caused. That way, he kills two birds with a stone: Offers reparations and saves the earth, AND puts and end to Roses’ existence and shenanigans.
    The Steven we’ve been seeing lately is packed with self blaming and self loathing, between thinking of himself as a less-than version of his mother, and the heir to all of her consequences. He knows he isn’t like her in the good ways, but he’s started to think he is like her in all the bad ones.

Originally posted by badpearlasrepressednerd

  • Distorted Perception: Steven’s judgement is clouded. He’s his own unreliable narrator. He’s not being able to process things objectively (or as close as one can get to actual objectivity), and I think the gems really should step in here. He keeps getting bits of the story, and Steven’s already traumatized mind can will fill those gaps with worse-case scnearios. He’s an optimistic at heart, but he has seen too much dark shit already, and too many of his childhood perceptions of the world have been shattered (Monsters are really gems; gems can get corrupted; his Mom started a war; his Mom hurt other gems in said war; Betrayed her friends; allegedly killed a living being; etc.) for him to even know what to think anymore.

    He can’t stand the fact that his mother betrayed Bismuth and “killed” Pink Diamond, he can’t even process new information because of the disgust he’s feeling for his mother’s actions. In the trial, he was provided with evidence that Rose in fact didn’t shatter Pink Diamond, and it went ollimpically over his head. He’s confusing facts and time periods (Rose never used The Breaking Point) without stopping o rethink it, he’s fixated in the version of the story he put together and again, no one is fucking challenging that view.

  • His family: Steven’s journey with Identity and self assertion is coming to a halt, he’s forgotten th fact that he is loved, wanted, and worthy. Beyond Rose Quartz, the gems, or his powers. Steven, along the way, has forgotten that he is an individual and not an exchange coin, even though he knows deep down that his family loves him, he’s keeping these feelings to himself because he doesn’t feel like he deserves any of it. And that’s truly heartbreaking. I’m surprised at how absent they’ve been of Steven’s emotional world lately, but more than that, I think they have to let go of Rose Quartz, and breack the vow of secrecy. They are painful memories, I get it, but their kid is tearing himself appart here. I think is long overdue that this family just sit down, and has a serious conversation.

So pease somebody sit him down, make him spill the beans, and fucking hug him because he needs to get out his head, and can’t do it alone.

Disrespect me? Get Shut Down and Blacklisted

So I used to work as a waiter at a fairly okay steakhouse around the US. Enjoyed my job, got great satisfaction from making people happy, had regulars who loved me and would only come in to see me (even long after the menu items they originally came for stopped being offered).

Well the company decides that this particular location needs a new General Manager. This is someone who was, as it turns out, fired from his last GM position for toxic behaviours including but not limited to sexual harassment of younger female staff.

A'ight, no big. I can roll with pretty much anything. Mostly because I’m very ‘out’ about being LGBT (specifically the T part) and surround myself with friends and family who are totally cool with that.

GM is an older gentleman, conservatively raised, and incredibly vocal about his personal politics (including, oddly enough, something about there being more trees in north america NOW than there has ever been, and how global warming is good because ‘all those trees need all that carbon dioxide anyway’). Odd fellow, not very well educated, but this is lower-end management at best anyway so what can you expect?

Well, as I’ve said, I was very much 'out’ at work, and so would, when appropriate, gently remind my coworkers that certain pronouns are maybe… not the best used when referring to me. In reference to the GM, though this fellow would go out of his way to refer to me using an incorrect honorific- american south… Maam and Sir are just things everyone says regardless. It happens, I get that. But twice in every sentence is not an accident.  Going out of his way to dig up my 'dead’ name (the name I used before transition)… also not an accident. 

Well, I’d been hearing from other staff that the new GM was being incredibly derogatory towards me when I wasn’t around as well, and decided that the mature thing to do would be to approach him in private and ask him about it. Maybe give him a chance to ask any questions he might have, or at least come to a mutual agreement (preferably one that doesn’t include deliberately-misgendering honorifics). 
Turns out he’d rather have that conversation at the front door, while guests of the restaurant are still entering and exiting, despite my repeated requests to talk to him in a more private place. 

I bring up my concerns.

Not only are they true, but he’s been frothing at the bit to have this conversation with me, and spends the next solid twenty minutes lecturing me (I barely got in three full sentences- this man also doesn’t know that interrupting is inappropriate in a discussion). He brings up the fact that he has 'a degree in biology’… yeah so do I, but mine is thirty years more recent than his, guaranteed. He brings up the fact that it’s 'rude’, 'childish’, and 'stupid’ for me to even ask him to consider NOT using the honorific he’s decided is appropriate. He even goes so far to try to explain how chromosomes work to me. ….and.. clearly doesn’t understand at all how chromosomes work. In -any- species, H.sapiens included.

So here’s the revenge part.

I had taken about two weeks off, to be started the next day, in order to visit family in another part of the world for the first time in several years. So I simply went in the next day and told an office full of managers to.. not worry about putting me on the schedule come time. Two weeks off equals two weeks notice. No big. Got to fly the bird (In america, a rude gesture involving the middle finger alone) at GM who was in the office with other managers at the time. 

Now that I was no longer employed at company, I was free to speak of my experience without fear of consequence. So I spoke to friends. Spoke to allies. Spoke to legal teams. All about this obvious discrimination and attempted bullying by someone in a position of power, in a part of the United States with very, VERY defined fairness ordinances explicitly in place to prevent LGBT discrimination in a city that is known by the region as being a 'hub’ for LGBT treatment and opportunity and resources and community.

Friends called HR. Other co-workers contacted me about issues they’d had with the GM in the same vein. I included these (dates, times, names, witnesses, contact information for those who consented) in my own formal report. More friends called HR. And then MORE friends called HR.

So many people called to complain to the restaurants public resources team that they would no longer ever come to said restaurant if this was the kind of behaviour that was accepted as representing the company…. That the company closed the entire location with a week, and the GM has apparently been utterly blacklisted from the restaurant business in the city/county due to this scandal.

Apparently it was more money than it was worth to fight the scandal, and the restaurant chain decided to cut their losses and close the site entirely. 

(I would like to add that staff were heftily compensated/transferred/offered opportunities elsewhere and no one was 'kicked to the curb’ for being an innocent bystander)

But it feels so good to pass by the now derelict building and think to myself “I did that. Frick that guy. That guy was awful.”

A voice told him where to go, and he went.

Maybe there was a time when the word of a disembodied voice would not have been enough. He doesn’t remember it. He doesn’t remember a lot of things. He remembers a lot of things. He remembers the wrong things.

He is slow. Maybe he wasn’t always slow, but he is slow now. There is no straight line between points. He considers every tree and every flower. He picks apples and catches lizards. He stares at the sky, and chases the stars.

He doesn’t speak much. He’s told he never did. He wonders if it was then what it is now, the way the words taste wrong and never fit on his tongue. Hylian and Hylian and Hylian but it never sounds right to the points of his ears. His first language is foreign and his accent is nowhere. He doesn’t sound like a hero. He doesn’t know what he sounds like, but he knows he doesn’t like it. It grates the way any wrong thing grates. He says nothing, and no one seems to mind.

He catches beetles, and stops to take pictures of fish.

In the burnt husk of a home, he finds a rusted shield. It didn’t do them much good, whoever they had been. He finds them all over, these floors without ceilings, these roofs without walls. He wonders, always: have I been here before? Did I know them, once? This house on the mountain, this cabin in the woods, would they have recognized me? Was this a name that fit on my tongue?

He learns to bake a cake, breaks rock salt and rubies from veins of ore in the earth.

He moves the sails of a raft with a Korok leaf, and he thinks: this should be easier. He wills the wind to move, but there is nothing. He looks out at the ocean and thinks: what might we find there? His raft is dead wood. He is alone.

He catches fairies in his hands, pink light and warmth and a faint ringing in his skin. They never complain. They never speak. He opens his hands to let them go, and they are the wrong color. The Great Fairy laughs, and it’s so much prettier than it used to be. Than it never was. He rolls glass bottles in his hands, but he doesn’t take them with him.

There is something restful in this. He can’t explain it, even if he had words to try. In his long slumber something inside him came unmoored, and he knows things he must not. He is tired. He knows this most of all. There is work to be done. There has always been work to be done.

He lights a fire, roasts a fish, picks at the flaky meat while it’s still hot enough to burn his fingertips.

He thinks of a sister he never had. He thinks of a grandmother he never had. Did he know his grandmother? In the Lost Woods he stares at the Deku Tree, and knows this is not home. There is a green-haired girl on the backs of his eyelids, and she sounds like three notes repeating.

He finds an ocarina made of wood, and runs his fingers over the holes. Three notes, repeating. He plays them, and nothing happens. He checks the shape of the moon and his reflection in the water. He plays three notes, different this time. There is nothing but an ache.

It sounds more like his voice than his voice ever did, and that hurts worse than silence.

He tries to remember Mipha. He wants to remember her most of all. They were friends, he is told. Close, he is told. He has nothing but fragments and a shirt that fits too well. When he tries to remember, he sees blue scales instead of red.

Zelda is Zelda is Zelda. She is the reference point around which the world turns. She is always Zelda, even when she isn’t. Her face is always her face. He is grateful and resentful in turns. There are so many people he would remember, if he could. Instead there is Zelda.

Ganon is not Ganon is not Ganon. He doesn’t know if Ganon has a face. He’s had so many faces. Was this ever a man, this manifestation of malice? He remembers eyes of gold, he remembers snouts. He recognizes the smell of him in burnt cloves and blood.

Fear is red lights and a blue glow. He knows these things were hope, once. He can’t remember it. He can’t remember seeing six metal legs and believing they would save him. Did he always know that it was helpless? It feels like he should have known.

The words are different, but the meaning is the same. He is procrastinating. If he needed an excuse, he would call it training. He would say they need every advantage. He would say they will only have one chance. No one asks for excuses. He says nothing.

Zelda has waited a hundred years. She waits, still.

She remembers a boy who never rushed her. She remembers, the way he does not, his silent patience while she found herself. While she took too long to find herself. She will wait for him to find himself, even if he takes too long. They may doom the world with their patience, but does the world not owe them this? There are so many worlds, and so few of them are kind. What could this world have been, if it had been kind? What might she have saved if it had not demanded saving?

She did not save the world. She will not save the world. She saved a single point of kindness who did not ask it from her. She will not ask it from him, but he may save her all the same. He is courageous. He is kind. Please, be careful.

He catches Koroks in durian trees, and chases dragons through canyons.

He jumps off a cliff to land in a stable, and no one there sees the hero he should be. He is no one, he is nothing. He is halfway to a beast, but they’re grateful for his help, when he offers it. He always offers it. He doesn’t know how not to.

His hands are calloused. Sometimes they bleed. He ties up his hair every morning, and does not stop. Swords fit so neatly in his hand. Sometimes he uses them to light fires or carve birds. It’s just easier. A sword is all he knows. He’s trying to be more. This might be beyond him.

Sometimes he growls when he’s angry. Sometimes he rips things apart with his teeth. Sometimes dogs follow him, but sometimes they whine. The shadows aren’t always unfriendly, and he feels them like fingers in his hair. There are eyes like fire in the mirrors at night, but he can only see them in the corners of his eyes.

The first time the Gerudo catch him, it was because he tried to scale their walls. Why did he think that would work? Urbosa would laugh if she knew.

He catches horses, but they’re never the right one. The hooves are wrong, the gait is wrong. They are never a part of him, an extension of his own legs. He rides across fields and they hesitate the way she never did. He whistles three notes, sometimes, but it never works.

He finds it, eventually. The place the voice told him about. Walls without a roof. Has he been here before? Surely he has. It’s night when he arrives. His footsteps make no sound. This is how he navigates the world, now, quiet as the sky. It’s easier this way. He kneels down to catch the latch on the chest, and when it opens, he cannot breathe.

He stares at it for a long time.

The moon is only the moon. His skin is still his own. Eventually, he breathes again.

He almost laughs.

He slides the mask onto his face.

Bygones of the Sun | 07 (M)

Originally posted by hobismole

Genre: Angst/fluff/(future)smut || dance captain!hoseok, bad boy!au, uni!au

Pairing: Reader x Hoseok

Length: 6.7k

Summary: Jung Hoseok was once the sweetheart of the school, the dance captain whom every girl, including you, can’t help but fall head over heels for. But like the force of the ever-glowing sun, everything that rises must also set. A year of inactivity later and he’s now the school’s resident bad boy. You’re a firm believer of allowing the past be the past, and yet you can’t help but wonder where the risen sun has gone into hiding—because perhaps its shadows have out-shined its own radiance.

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07

Keep reading

bleusarcelle  asked:

Oh oh oh oh!!!! For the prompt. How about a Klance video call where Lance is telling Keith all of their shows and Keith is like quiet but with a smile enjoying Lance's RAMBLING and they have a soft moment of.... Hey you are missed, u know that right? Kdksksksksikss idk.

HOLY SHIT YES. Yes i love this. Thank you Bleu for this premium suggestion


Keith’s fingers hover over the call button. He’s been doing this now every night for a week. Why is he nervous? Why can’t he summon the courage to just hit the damn button?

Just call him. Just call him. Just call him! 

He reprimands himself. His hands tremble and he sits down on his bed. 

What if he’s mad at me? What if they’ve moved on? Maybe it’s better if I stay quiet…

Keith sighs and goes to put his communicator anyway in his pocket. Just like he always does. The ship around him is silent. It’s always silent. His room is cold. 

In his gloved hands, his finger slips and his communicator screen lights up.

“Shit! Shitshitshitshit…” He grapples with the device, but before he can hang up, the ringing has stopped. A chipper voice rings out and he’s staring into familiar eyes.

“Keith?!” Lance answers. His eyes search Keith’s face and his surroundings. “Are you ok? Do you need…?”

“What? No, no, I’m fine, Lance. I’m ok.” Keith shushes. He can’t help the small smile that pulls on the corner of his lips. “I’m fine.”

“Oh thank god.” Lance sighs and rolls back on his bed. He closes his eyes. His heart still thunders in his chest. 

“You that worried about me?”

“More like I’m comfortable and didn’t want to go on a mission right now.” Lance smirks and chuckles quietly. Keith rolls his eyes. 

“So why’d you call anyway?”

This question trips Keith up. He hopes that Lance can’t see the blush that rises to his cheeks. That he doesn’t notice the way he fidgets with his hood. 

“Uh, I guess I just wanted to check in and see…” His voice trembles.

“Did you miss me?” Lance grins.

“No!” Keith snaps. Lance laughs.

“I… I dunno… I just….”

Lance hears the uncertainty in his voice. He watches Keith’s eyebrows crinkle together in frustration. Lance’s smile falters and his expression falls into one of gentle concern.

“Do you want me to tell you what the team’s been up to?” He offers. 

Keith sighs. He’s grateful for the change of subject and nods.

“Well we’ve made contact with the rebels and have been working together on some stuff. And oh my god, Keith, Keith you will not believe…” Lance sits up and excitedly talks to his communicator. 

“Keith, I swear to god, One of their captains is a dog!”

“Wait what?”

“I’m serious! One of their captains, she’s really cool by the way, she’s a straight up dog that walks around on two legs and talks and and… did you ever see Disney’s Robin Hood with the foxes?”

Keith blinks. Lance is going a mile a minute and it’s hard to keep up.

“Uh yeah?”

“It’s exactly like that! She looks like a character from that movie and everyone else is totally fine with it and isn’t even mentioning it, all the while I am freaking out because there is a race of goddamn space dogs.”

Keith laughs. A familiar warmth flickers in his chest.

“Oh! Oh! Sorry I totally forgot! We found Matt! Well Pidge did, but that’s besides the point…”

“Whoa what? You found…?”

“Yeah Pidge found her brother! He was with the rebels and she tracked him down! And now he hangs out with us and Pidge is just so happy. And Hunk has someone new to talk about nerdy stuff with. He seems cool, even if a bit delusional. He definitely has a thing for Allura and, oh man, that poor boy does not stand a chance.”

“Wow that’s … I can’t believe…” Keith sighs.

“Have you seen our shows?!” Lance beams into the camera. Again Keith is caught off guard. It takes him a moment to interpret what Lance just asked him.

“Oh!” His expression melts into a teasing smirk. “Oh… Oh I know about them. You’re quite the actor, Lance.”

“What can I say? I’m a natural.” Lance brushes his hair back and shoots a finger gun straight towards Keith.

“But they’re so much fun, dude. Like I just get such a rush from all the cheering you know? Like it’s been really amazing to inspire people and talk to fans directly. And the coalition is stronger than ever! 

Shiro’s been such a good sport about all this. Like I can tell he’s uncomfortable? But he really throws himself into it, and the fans all love him. Well of course they would, he’s Shiro. Oh! And you should see the way little girls all run up to Allura afterwards. She uses your name in the script, but these kids aren’t fooled.”

Lance continues to rant about their antics. About how they rehearse, and Lance had a fair bit of input to his choreography. About how it all ended with them actually fighting a monster in an arena, and Allura doing the sweetest backwards flip kick Lance has ever seen.

A lump forms in Keith’s throat.

“I think I needed a different outfit for my rope routine. The armour was a bit clunky, and you know… I should really give the fans what they want.” He waggles his eyebrows.

“I’m sorry I missed it. You’ll have to give me a private show sometime.” Keith smiles.

Lance looks at him in shock. A blush rushes to his ears and his mouth opens into a wild smile.

“Did you just…?!”

“Oh my god!” Keith yanks his hood over his face. He’s just realised what he may have implied.

“I didn’t mean…! God, Lance! Not like that!” He shouts, but he can’t help the giggles that burst from his chest. He can hear Lance’s laughter matching his own.

“Can you get me a cool Blade of Marmara outfit to do it in?” Lance chuckles. He sighs as he catches his breath.

“I don’t think I can just take one.”

“Shame. I really like them.” Lance chews his lip. “You look really cool.” 

Keith ignores the way that makes the ache in his chest throb. He shakes his head and tries to hide how flustered he feels with a laugh.

“It uh… it sounds like you guys are going really well.”

“Yeah.” Lance sighs. He brushes his hand through his hair. “We’re uh… we’re doing good stuff, but…”

A heavy silence falls between them. Lance feels the words on the tip of his tongue. He knows what he wants to say, but is suddenly embarrassed to say them. His relationship with Keith is precarious and he worries that his next word might send them over the edge. He swallows.

“But I really wish you were there.” His voice is hushed. He averts his eyes from the communicator. 

“We miss you Keith. I know you’re doing important work, and I know that you’re helping us by helping the blades, but we just…” He stammers. “I…I just…”

He accidentally meets Keith’s eyes. The reality that Keith is on the other side of the galaxy hits him like a crashing wave. 

“I’ll never replace you. We’re a team.” His breath shudders.

“Lance, I…”

“Please come home.” Lance presses his eyes closed. “We all worry. And Red asks about you and, and…” His fingers grip at his jacket. “Don’t stay gone forever. … okay?”

 Keith sighs. His eyes begin to sting and he can feel his resolve crumbling. He briefly thinks about where the pods on his current ship are located before he pushes it out of his mind. 

No. He can’t run back now. Not yet. 

“I’ll be back.”

“Stay safe,”

“I will.” Keith nods solemnly.

Lance hangs up the call and stares down at his communicator. His hands fist into his sheets and his mouth twists into a scowl.

“You’re lying.” 

Five Seconds (Richie Tozier x Reader)

Richie Tozier x Fem!Reader

*Please don’t plagiarize my work, thank you :3*

Summary: When you confessed to Richie, you got the expected response, but that doesn’t mean it hurt any less. Not even a week later he decides to talk to you, not so subtly jealous about you spending time with Ben. Things sort of…escalate from there.

Warnings: Cussing and Kissing. (oh no, not kissing! *parents screaming, children crying, Ohio catches on fire*) This is a request. DON’T HESITATE TO SEND IN REQUESTS. (Don’t send in like 50 tho. I still need sleep.)

Word Count: 1,697


“Can I t-talk to you.”

Richie stops laughing at Stan and, still giggling, turns to you. “Yeah, what’s up?”

You glance over Richie’s shoulder to see Beverly shoot you a thumbs up. “I’ve been, well- It was Beverly’s idea! But for a while now…” You stumbled over words, trying to soften the embarrassing blow of ‘I have a crush on you’.

“I like you!” You blurt, deciding to get it over with. “I l-like you as more than a friend.”

There’s a moment of silence in which you count the seconds that painfully tick by.

One. Richie’s mouth opens and closes, you can see his eyes dart to the other boys. They’re whooping and hollering, pushing him and giggling like idiots.

Two. You can feel the headrush hit you hard, along with waves of nausea.

Three. Teasing smiles stay on the boys’ faces, but Beverly’s melts off. She knows. She knows what’s going to happen.

Four. Richie’s ears turn fire hydrant red as you grow pale and faint. His eyes once again scan the boys, who continue to tease without mercy. You close your eyes, wishing they’d stop. There would be nothing to celebrate.

Five. “I’m s-sorry…”

Keep reading

who in their right FUCKING MIND thought it was a good idea to design and create KYLO MOTHERFUCKING REN? a tragic backstory, wears ALL BLACK ALL THE TIME, cries when confronted with murder, and fuckin’ relentlessly makes snarky comments in inappropriate situations? this punk bitch is not even CLOSE to being a punk bitch, either, with his stupid ass cool ass fucking lightsaber that crackles as a physical representation of his instability and his goddamn helmet that he doesn’t even NEED to wear and only takes it off when confronted about it (that motherfucker probably doesn’t even like it, just wants to be cool). he fuckin’ gets shot by chewie’s ‘this shit took down a fucking vehicle with explosions and shit’ crossbow and STANDS THE FUCK BACK UP LIKE SOMEONE MERELY BRUSHED PAST HIM IN THE HALLWAY. WHAT THE FUCK? WHO IS HE? SOME FUCKING GOD? NO, BUT HE’S A GODDAMN FORCE SENSITIVE AND FUCKIN HELD A BLASTER SHOT IN PLACE FOR ONE MINUTE AND 29 SECONDS, ALL WHILE DEALING WITH POE DAMERON, FORMER CHILDHOOD FRIEND. EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER, RIGHT? WRONG. MY GUY KYLO BARELY GIVES HIM TIME TO SPEAK. LATER CHEWIE SHOOTS HIM IN THE GUT AND THEN THIS SHITTY FUCKING BYRONIC HERO PROCEEDS TO CHASE A SCAVENGER AND A DEFECTED STORMTROOPER INTO THE GODDAMN WOODS AND FIGHTS THEM FOR LONGER THAN A NORMAL PERSON WOULD HAVE LIVED AFTER AN EXPLOSIVE HIT THEM IN THE LIVER. BUT OKAY DUDE, WHATEVER REN. DO YOUR THING. FUCKIN RISK DEATH FOR A MAP YOU COULD’VE GOTTEN WHILE REY WAS ASLEEP. BUT WHATEVER. YOU JUST HAVE TO BE A GENTLEMAN AND ALL, LETTING HER WAKE UP OF HER OWN ACCORD, TAKING YOUR FUCKING MASK OFF FOR HER, SPEAKING BARELY ABOVE A WHISPER, TELLING HER THAT ‘IT HURTS YOU TO HAVE TO DO IT THIS WAY’ AND THAT YOU’LL ‘GO AS GENTLY AS POSSIBLE.’ EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE A DARK SIDER AND ALL. WHY NOT JUST TERRORIZE HER AND NEARLY KILL HER LIKE YOU DID TO POE? KNOW WHY? BECAUSE SHE MAKES HIS INSIDES MELT, THAT’S WHY. AND JUST BECAUSE THIS HOOLIGAN HAS COMPASSION FOR THE GIRL DOESN’T MEAN HE IS ANY LESS OF A BADASS. IT MAKES HIM EVEN BETTER, KNOWING THAT HE’S CAPABLE OF FIGHTING WITH HIS SPUTTERING, DANGEROUS AF FIRE-SWORD AGAINST TWO PEOPLE INEXPERIENCED IN ANY SORT OF ‘CLASSICAL BATTLE TACTIC’ AND STILL ABLE TO, Y’KNOW, FEEL THINGS AND SHOW THAT HE’S A PERSON. HE’S SO EXTRA AND THROWS HIMSELF INTO UNNECESSARY DANGER FOR THE HELL OF IT, ALL THE WHILE LOOKING FLY AS FUCK WITH HIS FLOOFY-ASS FUCKING HAIR AND HIS BLACK ROBES, LOOKING LIKE SOME DARK PRINCE. (on a more serious note, poor kylo fucking hates himself and his life so much that i’m pretty sure he wouldn’t care if he died, thus why he doesn’t care when he’s in such situations. he’s miserable. he ‘wants to be free of this pain’ and all.) BUT HE’S HARDCORE, DUDE. AND HE’S FULL OF SO MUCH SNARK AND SALT ALL THE TIME, DISHING OUT INSULT AFTER SARCASTIC INSULT TO HUX AND FINN AND POE AND IT’S ABSOLUTELY SOMETHING A SOLO/SKYWALKER WOULD DO. 

I FUCKING LOVE KYLO REN.

so who thought it was cool to create him, a fuckin’ lightsaber-wielding, sharp-tongued, unpredictable, angst-filled Mr. Darcy and put him in the midst of ‘pride and prejudice: in space’? i want to know so i can punch you in the throat and kiss you on the mouth.

The Celebrity Magazine; Fall 2017 Issue
Chanyeol’s Interview

Question: You have a very strong image of optimism. Haven’t you ever wanted to break from that?
Chanyeol: When i was younger i thought my bright and optimistic image would create certain preconceptions for the music i wanted to compose, so i wanted to break away from the image, but these days i compose without thinking about that kind of thing. Because there is bound to be someone who enjoys that kind of music too. I’m living comfortably with that thought.

Question: I’ve heard that you got in trouble from your mother when you told her you wanted to raise a mouse that got caught in a mouse trap. Do you like animals?
Chanyeol: Animals are like family to me. I’ve always had animals with me since i was a child. These days i have no time to raise a pet because i’m busy, but i play with the dog at my parents’ place whenever i visit. Unfortunately i’ve developed a cat fur allergy which i didn’t have when i was younger, so i have to be careful.

Question: Your low voice is so nice to listen to. I’m curious about which songs you enjoy singing.
Chanyeol: I like singing. I sing Jung Jun Il sunbae-nim’s “Hug Me” a lot. I’ve even uploaded myself singing it in my own style. There are people who are surprised when i sing because they only know me as a rapper. Before i wanted to gain recognition for my singing, but these days i don’t feel that it’s necessary to worry myself like that.

Question: Not feeling the need to worry yourself can be seen as a sign of maturity. Was there a moment that caused it?
Chanyeol: My personality is rather impatient. I feel the need to do things immediately and feel anxious when i don’t. When i look at it i think the moment that helped me was all the bowling i did when i found myself with time to spare. I got impatient that i couldn’t control the bowl properly so clung to it for two months bowling until early morning, but i actually bowled better after a two month break when i went back with an easier mind. I control myself with the thought of ‘If i get it it’s good and if i don’t get it i’ll make it eventually’. Maybe it’s because personalities don’t change but i’m still impatient.

Question: Any songs that you find touching?
Chanyeol: I couldn’t understand them when i was younger but these days i really love songs by Black Skirt and Lee Sora sunbaenim. I was looking up their songs and suddenly found myself overcome with emotion, almost as though something was flowing into me.

Question: I’m curious about your current playlist.
Chanyeol: Amy Winehouse, Migos, Aerosmith, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC and more. There are also songs from the OST of the animation <Your Name>, which i watched recently.

Question: What did you like about <Your Name>?
Chanyeol: I like the subtle emotions that you find in Japanese films. I think i get pulled in very easily by the hooks Shinkai Makoto sets up. Of course the visuals are beautiful, but i really enjoyed the introduction of fantasy elements in a still realistic setting. The fact that the main protagonist went through a great deal of events but couldn’t remember any of it was sad.

Question: You debuted in 2012. Do you have any aspirations for your music as an idol of 5 years?
Chanyeol: EXO has always shown a new, trendy and constantly changing side of us in our own unique colours. You could see each member growing obviously for each album. I have faith in the company, so i believe that we will continue to grow in the future. I have a lot of passion for music personally too. At the moment i just want to enjoy myself with the music as it comes, without feeling as though i have to do something. It isn’t a greed from impatience, i could call it more of a greed to do better.

Question: Is there anything that influences your music?
Chanyeol: My surroundings. When i see someone who’s talented in music i want to be talented like them. I get the same desire when i meet an artist i respect or see a good performance. These days i pray alot before composing too. Praying helps me go into composing by letting me collect my thoughts and putting me in a calmer state.

Question: I’m curious about the artists you like.
Chanyeol: I’m a fan of Jamie Cullum. I like his voice and the way he plays the piano. I’m also a fan of pianist Yoon Suk Chul’s works. He’s so talented to the point where i think ‘he must be the god of piano’. I learn a lot from composing with him. I listen to a variety of genres but jazz and rock are my constants.

Question: You contributed in writing the lyrics of a song in your 4th official album. Is it an autobiographical story?
Chanyeol: No. ‘Sweet Lies’ is a story very far from me. I thought alot about what i would be like if i was a bad boy, but the style doesn’t really fit with me so it was a little difficult (laughs). G. Soul composed and wrote the lyrics for the frame of the song and when i first heard the melody i thought that kind of story would suit it.

Question: You’ve been called a ‘face prodigy’. What do you think when you look into the mirror.
Chanyeol: I admit it (laughs) I feel proud occasionally when i look in the mirror. I usually wear black clothing without accessorising very much. I started off thinking ‘I’ll be okay even though i’m wearing this’ but i stick to it now because it’s so comfortable. Comfort is the most important for going to the studio and bowling alley, home and so on. So i don’t really have much of an interest for appearances but when there’s a schedule and i look in the mirror with makeup i think ‘as expected’ (both laugh)

Question: You were wearing the so-called three-lined slippers at London, you’re even wearing them now.
Chanyeol: That’s right. These are the shoes and pants i wore then. I wore them because they were comfortable but even the London people were surprised. I told them it was outerwear clothes.

Question: As an artist, there are people who don’t hesitate on stage but are shy in front of a camera. Conversely, there are people who shine both on stage and enjoy themselves as a celebrity on variety shows or dramas. Which side do you lean towards?
Chanyeol: The former. There are lots of people that think i don’t talk when i go on variety shows and on top of that i’m very shy so it takes me a while to get comfortable. I still try though. I like seeing new sides of me so i always like a new challenge.

Question: I’m curious on how you feel about Seoul as someone who’s travelled all over the world.
Chanyeol: Even though i don’t feel particularly different when i’m overseas, the first thought i have when i come to Seoul is ‘Oh! I’m home’. When i come to Incheon airport and take my phone off airport mode, it’s convenient that the wifi works well. I don’t go around very much overseas.

Question: Last question. What gives you inspiration these days?
Chanyeol: Myself. Not because i’m particularly special but because i’m thinking a lot about myself. In the end i think all things conclude with yourself. So i find myself gaining inspiration for the types of music i really want to do.

Translation by fyeah-chanyeol
(Please take out with full credits)

This prompt was sitting in my massive page of notes, and I don’t know what message it came from, but it was next in line to be written, so!

Neil would be worried that Andrew was cheating (even though he never would) and Andrew would have to reassure him.


There is a winter inside of Neil that he hadn’t had time to prepare for, like he’s living in a summer home that doesn’t know what to do with cold weather other than bow its head and take the damage. 

He’s never been jealous before. He’s never been so willing to kill someone who hasn’t killed anybody first.

He looks up from the breathe in breathe out of day to day life and Andrew is there like the respirator he’s hooked into. If someone looks at Andrew, Neil feels it like a hitch in the machinery of his breathing — what if Andrew looks back? What if he gets enough distance from the bad things in his life that he realizes Neil is just another bad thing in disguise? What if he understands, as Neil does, that he deserves someone who isn’t violent and shaky and dishonest by nature?

He takes Marshall down to the floor of the court, hard. His head spills back in such a way that Neil can tell he’s been concussed, brain pitched back against skull. He scrabbles with Neil’s wrists but Neil pins his hands down on his own throat, pushing in just so. Marshall’s hands flex away from his windpipe. He thinks his own face might be screwed up into a snarl but he’s too numb to tell.

“Did you fuck him?”

Whatthe fuck, Josten, no, do you think he would let me—“

A lift and a slam back into the floor, and Marshall gurgles. “I didn’t ask if he let you. I asked if you fucked him.”

“No, no, I didn’t, Neil, come on.” His voice is garbled, Neil’s hands on his hands on his throat are a sweaty stack. “I know you’re together,” he says quietly, “and I wasn’t… I mean I flirt—I hit on everyone.”

“Not him,” Neil says icily. His fingers curl, Marshall makes a small, wet sound. He thinks about the way that Andrew let Marshall sit next to him on the bench. Neil had been playing, and he’d seen Andrew’s mouth move, talking to another teammate for the first time since they’d signed together. Marshall had thrown his head back and laughed.

Neil had taken a ball to the abdomen and reeled into another striker, been shoved back, started a slurry of violence that ended in a yellow card. When Andrew finally looked at him, it had been with disappointment.

Neil blinks and feels the padding of Marshall’s gear under his thighs, the wheezing rise of his chest. He lets go of his neck and he coughs and gasps.

“You can’t—“ he tries. “He wouldn’t want—“ He hates the ugly way he’s trying to convince himself out loud, the tremor in his voice. “He didn’t come home until morning. He smelled like your shitty menthols.”

Keep reading

Sansa Stark does not deserve your hatred

In my last year of school we had to write a character analysis and I decided to write about Sansa Stark. My teacher (who was only a couple of years older than me) was a huge asoiaf fan and he got really excited about it, but I remember him frowning and saying in a perplexed voice, “How can Sansa Stark be your favourite character?”

I looked at him with the same confusion mirrored in my own eyes and replied: “Because she is strong.” That was the first time I realised how hated Sansa was and it really infuriated me and so I decided to show him in my essay why she is my favourite character and honestly I think he got it because I did end up getting a good grade.

The analyse focused on book Sansa but this will focus on show Sansa,and it will probably be a bit of a read.

This here is the very moment I began to like Sansa. This is where she looses her innocence and where her character growth begins. This is when she goes from being a child to a young woman. This is where she wants to kill her Prince Charming and she would have if the Hound had not stopped her. This is also a part many viewers seem to overlook, deciding to still view Sansa as a stupid little girl and that is the problem with those who dislike Sansa, they refuse to acknowledge her growth.

Keep reading

The Spider Tattoo (Peter Parker x Reader) Soulmate AU

Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

*Please don’t plagiarize my work, thank you :3*

Summary: You hate the idea of soulmate tattoo’s, probably because there’s a giant fricking spider on your hip that moves, as most soulmate tattoos do. But see, most soulmate tattoos aren’t huge fucking spiders, so you have the right to be freaked out.

Warnings: Lots of swearing. More than usual. Oops. Requested by @crowleys-poppet-queen-of-asgard

Word Count: 1,072


Soulmates were stupid. Worst idea ever. Who the hell even thought of them? From what you learned in health class, every person has a tattoo appear on their skin when they find what they love best, and that tattoo is on that exact place on their soulmate’s body, meaning somewhere in the world there was a person with an tiny typewriter right behind their ear.

“So why the fuck do I have a giant ass spider on my hip?” You scream at no one in particular, eyeing the ugly thing through your mirror. You pull your sweatshirt down again, covering the spider. The only good part about it was that it resembled Spiderman’s symbol, one of your favorite heroes. On the con side though, whenever a soulmate was feeling strong emotions, their tattoo would move. So once or twice a day, the giant ass spider would move. You cringe at the thought.

You grab your backpack and angrily shove your books into your backpack, muttering rapidly in a mocking voice. “Soulmates are a beautiful thing, they said.”

The backpack was slung over your shoulder as you stomped out the door. “You’ll love getting your tattoo, they said.

“Well they can go fuck themselves!” You scream into the empty house, slamming the door behind you.

Keep reading

okay i know i made a giant post talking about the video but i just can’t let it go.

Look guys, i adore Patton. I really do, he’s one of my favorite characters, but because he’s so different from myself i find it really hard to relate to what he’s going thru currently. If anything he reminds me of my best friend and that just makes me want to protect him.

On the other hand we have Virgil, a character i actually really relate to, and Logan , who i also relate to a lot.

When i’m faced with things i can’t get out of i react by lashing out.

Logan was faced with a situation he couldn’t fully explain, in a setting where he was being ignored, in a room where he had no control of anything. He lashed out in self defence and confusion. We can actually say Logan was scared because a part of him sees the path Thomas is going regarding his career as a waste of what he could have done, he says and points this out several times during the video. But also he was scared because his plan failed, his last move of action to get Thomas to a more benefitial mind set was shot down by all the ones who shouldve been helping.

We can’t forget that Logan was being incredibly pushy regarding going to where he thought would help. He forced his opinion over Patton’s and made him do something he was clearly uncomfortable about [letting the others into his room], but he didn’t do it out of malice, he did it of ignorance and a wish to help.

Virgil on the other hand tried to play the peace maker of all the characters, trying to interrupt when Logan was pushing too much out of Patton [but Virgil himself gets interrupted by Roman] and trying to reign Roman in when his ideas start getting more and more frantic and slightly creep. He also gets startled when Thomas screams and i love that

Then Virgil is thrown into a room so different from his own, and is the last one to enter it because he kept having doubts about it, that the first thing he says when he appears in it is relevant to feeling ashamed and embarassment, calling his past work cringy and edgy

The longer he stays in the room the worse it starts affecting him. The other two [not counting Logan] are hit with full happy and nostalgic memories but Virgil is being attacked by every embarassing thing Thomas ever did, and it’s taking a toll.

The room is shiny, almost ethereal, incredibly surreal looking. For a being like Virgil, who needs a reality check, this is already upsetting. Add in to the fact that the other two are hyper, and Roman franticness is being directed at different things instead of their lost love. Virgil is standing right beside a frantic and loud person while in a surreal looking space.

That’s why when he reaches the binder of papers he has in hand he enters a non-verbal episode. It’s suddenly too much, everything is happening too much and too loud and too bright and too surreal. Besides suddenly going non-verbal he starts to panic slightly, hidding behind whatever he has at hand [which is still the binder of papers], shifting eyes constantly, not making eye contact, doubling over himself and making himself look smaller.

Also please notice the background music in that moment. Yeah, sure it’s happy, but there’s an eerie quality about it until it changes when Logan has a realization.

It takes Virgil a really long time compared to usual to say “no” and when he does his voice dones’t sound like his, and he covers his mouth immediately after. Then Logan tries to get them out of there for Virgil’s and Thomas’s sake, but no one listens to him. He gets ignored, he gets hurt, he lashes out and hurts Patton. In his rage he goes away.

Now there are a few interesting things. Patton looks guilty but sad, Thomas looks shocked and confused but its a duller look, Roman looks surprised but in general unconcerned. And Virgil?

Virgil looks terrified.

Logic and Reason has just left the room. The only thing keeping his own personality trait [Anxiety] in check has just left the surreal ethereal looking room. Virgil is left without a support. And he’s terrified

3

In lieu of actual novel productivity, I decided to update the Harry Potter Dial Tone AU series I ended up writing from the gifset.

Thank you to everyone who has liked and commented on Dial Tone, and blew my feed up asking for more Cursed Child AU stuff. I may make these into small drabble things whenever the mood takes me. It’s fun to dabble in flash fiction again :)

I’ll get round to uploading the Cursed Child AU stuff to Ao3 too. But in the meantime enjoy some Duddley daughter happy feels.

Departure

“And you’ve got your wand,” Dudley asks again, for the umpteenth time since they left the house this morning. He wishes Kelly was here, but the relief work in Nepal is ongoing and he knows it’s selfish to think he needs her here more. They’d at least managed a grainy Skype call on Dudley’s beat up old laptop the night before, but he knew it wasn’t the same. “And your hat?”

“Yes, Dad.” Effie says, already nose deep in one of her new books. She’s got new glasses on too, sleek silver rimmed ones you’d never find on the NHS, but then Granny Petunia had insisted on paying the cost. “Did you know the ceiling in the Great Hall is spelled to look like the outside sky?”

“No, I didn’t” Dudley replies, grip tightening on the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. He feels like he doesn’t know anything anymore. Maths homework he could deal with, even spelling had been manageable thanks to his own mother’s zeal for correctness when it came to the written word. But all of this was beyond him, it would always be beyond him. He doesn’t like it, but he has to deal with it, so he loosens his grip, flexing his fingers as they make the turn around the roundabout that will lead them toward London. “Tell me something more.”

Keep reading

heartbeat

a/n: this is just soft boys being soft tbh. i needed it so here it is- soft richie for the win! fluff/a little bit of angst

warnings: homophobia (very brief)

september

Eddie is in love. Richie is staring down him, dark curls enveloping his freckled face, thin lips pressed into a tight smile, adoration in his eyes, and Eddie is in love. Eddie wants to mumble something along the lines of:  “Get off me, trashmouth,” but the words cannot surpass his love-struck mouth. There is a certain look in Richie’s eyes that wills Eddie to stay quiet, hands pressed to hands, bodies flushed. He has never known a love like this before.

Keep reading

After Words

Summary: Bookshop AU. Reader finds a book with some handwritten notes inside and sets out to find the person responsible.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 6,690

Warnings: language, fluff, mentions of anxiety, one mention of PTSD, mentions of mental health issues, I love italicizing things, and I make fun of people calling other people snowflakes

A/N: This is for @whotheeffisbucky​‘s AU Writing Challenge. Thanks for letting me participate! Sorry if it’s a mess!

Originally posted by leafierleaf

Keep reading