and I had several glasses of wine while I was watching

Candy Hearts || Bucky x Reader

Summary → A year of silently pinning over your best friend and neighbor Bucky Barnes ends happier than expected when you spend Valentine’s Day together.

Word Count → 2.9K (I’m a wordy bitch, okay?)

Warnings → Cursing, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy!). Fluff? Definitely fluff.

A/N → Happy #FreakyFriday y’all! I apologize for the delay, but I had an unplanned twelve hour work shift today. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I thought I’d try my hand at fluffy smut (it’s a first for me - so go easy on this fic). Other than that, enjoy!

A nervous giggle flew from your lips as you twirled on your toes to face the full-length mirror hung over the back of your bedroom door. Your usual untamed knot of hair had been brushed and curled into effortless beach waves that cascaded down your shoulders and back. You wore nothing but Bucky’s trademark, burgundy Henley, which you’d confiscated the last time you’d done laundry together. It hung loosely over your frame, hitting mid-thigh and creating an innocently sexy, ‘girl next door’ type of vibe. You undid the first few buttons of the V-neck, to show off just the right amount of cleavage. You opted for some mascara and pink chapstick, making your lips appear fuller. Thoroughly satisfied with your appearance, you exited your room and tiptoed excitedly down the hall.

Over the past eighteen months, as your friendship with Bucky had grown closer, the both of you had developed several traditions. Every Sunday you’d get together for pasta, you’d lift weights with each other three times a week, and Tuesday nights were spent on Bucky’s couch with abundant amounts of junk food while binge watching television shows. Unless there was a particularly lengthy mission for the team or some other out of the ordinary incident, neither of you ever bailed on your plans. And tonight, Valentine’s Day, was not about to be any different. You had been secretly ecstatic when Bucky double-checked you’d still be getting together for takeout and Netflix, despite the holiday.

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Four Bedrooms

[ao3]

Based on this story told at Jibcon 2017
3.7k words

The thing is, Misha’s a liar.

He stretches the truth when he knows it’ll be to his advantage. He flatout lies when he thinks the truth will upset someone more than he’s willing to deal with.

So when he offhandedly invites Jensen and Jared to his rented house for the duration of filming the season 12 finale, he doesn’t expect them to take him up on the offer until after he’s already told them it’s a four-bedroom house.

It’s not a four-bedroom house.

The downstairs consists of a cramped living room with a flat-screen TV mounted on the wall, a small kitchen with enough counter space for exactly one cutting board and a sitting area with a wooden table and three chairs instead of four. The upstairs is one hallway with a master bedroom on one end and a much smaller bedroom on the other end. The spare bedroom barely has enough space for a full-sized bed. There’s one bathroom upstairs, between the bedrooms.

“Uh, you sure this is the right place?” Jensen asks as he sets his duffel bag down on the small couch in the living room.

“I might’ve…stretched the truth a bit,” Misha replies sheepishly.

Jensen turns to him, hands planted on his hips, unimpressed glare on his face. “I’m not sleeping on the couch.”

As Misha opens his mouth to respond, the door bangs open and Jared comes in with a whistle.

“Wow, Misha,” Jared says as he looks around the small room. “This is as awesome as you hyped it up to be.”

“I never said it was glamorous.”

“You also didn’t say it was the size of a broom closet,” Jared replies as he throws his stuff on top of Jensen’s. “Where are we sleeping?”

Jensen and Misha share a look before both turning back toward Jared. Misha says, “We can worry about that after work tonight I guess.”

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Hard Eyes: Part 1

Prompt: batmom meets Talia and there’s a lot of tension between them because of their history with Bruce and Talia wanting to take Damian back to the League of Assassins

Requested by: @shyinfluencer2017

Words: 1445


The station is larger than you imagined, and you’re not quite sure where you’re going. At this point you’re just following instinct. You move through the halls, Dick’s call still fresh in your mind. “Mom, it’s Bruce. You need to come now … it’s bad.” You hadn’t been able to make out anything after that, the tears had muffled his voice too much.

          As you turn the final corner it’s to see your boys, and the entire league. You try not to think about how bad it must be, for those looks to be on their faces. You pause for a moment, cherishing the last few minutes that you pretend everything’s okay. Then you rush forward.

          The boys see you immediately, and it takes no prompting, they rush to you. Despite having been taller than you for several years now, the oldest three seem so small, and Damian, your poor sweet baby, he seems so scared. They cling to you, and you do your best to comfort all of them assuring each of them that it’s going to be okay.

          After they’ve calmed down a bit you move forward and then you stop. There’s no love lost between you and Talia. You’ve seen the woman maybe twice in the four years since Damian has come to live with you. She’s no mother in your eyes, and she certainly doesn’t have a claim to your son.

          You decide to focus more on the doctor. He confirms what Dick said on the phone. It’s not looking good, and it will all depend on the surgery. There’s a less than ten percent chance that Bruce will be able to be the man he was before this. That reassures you in some weird way, Bruce has always been able to beat the odds.

          Finally, you take a seat. Your back is hurting, and your ankles are swollen, and technically, you’re supposed to be in bed at the moment. But, extreme times call for extreme measures. One hand goes to rest on your protruding belly, as the boys sit down beside you.

          Dick is the first one to break the silence, “So how’d your doctor appointment go? Bruce was so bummed to miss it.”

          You smile at that Bruce had been to every pregnancy check before this one. He had been so upset to miss this one. You hadn’t planned this. As far as you were concerned you had your hands full with all the boys. But one glass of wine too many had led to a forgetful night.

          Some part of you had expected the boys to be disappointed. But they had met the idea of a new sibling with enthusiasm. In fact, one of the boys would typically go with you and Bruce to the appointment.

          “Did the doc finally tell you what you’re having?” Jason asks with a grin “It’s another boy, isn’t? Something tells me Bruce is only for making boys. Look at the squirt.”

          Damian scowls at the nickname, but he doesn’t argue with Jason’s statement. If you had expected anyone to be upset about the pregnancy it had been Damian. The boy had clung to his blood tie with Bruce for so long, you had worried about him feeling threatened. Instead, he had taken to the role of big brother rather seriously.

          It had started out with him and Tim inspecting everything you ate. Then he had researched everything needed for a helping a healthy baby grow. Classical music had been playing non stop around the manor. Then one day, you had walked into what had been designated as the baby’s room, just to consider paint colors, to find that it had already been painted a soft yellow.  

          And there was Damian, working on mural. It was this pretty field of flowers, a nature scene. For a while you had just watched him paint before all of a sudden he had simply said, “It’s going to be a girl. And she should have a happy, and pretty place to grow up. Somewhere she can always feel safe.”

          You had gone to him, and pulled him in close, not worrying about the paint staining his clothes and said, “Every child should have that Damian. I can only hope Bruce and I provided that for you and your brothers.”

          Damian had simply hugged you back and said, “I’ve never felt safer than when I was surrounded by this band of misfits.”

          You just laughed, because of course he couldn’t call it what it is, “A family.”

          Coming out of the memory you find everyone silent, and you take a moment to examine them. They’re still dressed in their uniforms and they’re covered in dirt.

          Quietly you suggest they go shower and change, when they protest, you tease and say that their stench is making you feel ill. That gets them going. A few of the League members inquire after you and the baby. Eventually they too leave, and then it’s just you and her.

          Neither of you says anything until you can’t take it anymore and you finally ask, “What are you doing here Talia?”

          She turns to face you, radiant as ever, her eyes as cold as ever. “My son and his father needed my assistance?”

          “Is that a question or an answer Talia, because I’m not buying it. The boys are too distraught to see it, and the League doesn’t know you well enough to see it, but I do. I know everything about you Talia. I’ve read every part of the file Bruce has on you, and I won’t let you do it.”

          She raises an eyebrow at that, “You’d let him die? You must really want his money.” She glances at your stomach, “After all your child is legitimate, and he didn’t even have you sign a prenup.”

          You roll your eyes at that, “I care about what Bruce wants, and he told me that under no circumstances was he ever to go into the Pit. If there’s one thing in this world that scares him, it’s what that goop would do to his mind.”

          She studies you for a minute, “Then I suppose I’ll take Damian with me when I leave then.”

          “You have no right. Bruce and I have full custody. And Damian is just as much my child as any of his brothers.”

          She smiles at that, “Is he as much your child as the one in your womb? Blood is thicker than water after all.”

          You can’t help but scowl, “I hate that saying, because while I may not have given birth to those boys, while I may not share their blood, I’ve raised them. I’ve attended every parent teacher conference, shown up for every play, taken care of them when they were sick, worried every time they go out on patrol, held them after a girl broke their hearts, watched them grow, watched as they became brothers, and so much more that you will never understand.” At this point you’re right in her face, because you want your meaning to me clear, “Those boys, are my children, and blood has nothing to do with it. You just try and take Damian, and you’ll be the one to need that damn goop,”

          She looks down at you amused, “Big words for such a little church mouse. What’s the little pregnant housewife going to do?”

          You just smile, “I wasn’t always a housewife Talia. You would know that if you were actually able to find anything on me before Bruce.”

          She actually looks a little frightened now, and you know it’s your eyes, they’ve slipped into that same hardness that had made people braver than her panic. You make one last statement, “Leave now Talia, and don’t you ever threaten my children again.”

          She leaves, she never turns her back on you but she leaves. You take your seat again, and wait for him to come out of the shadows. You meet Clark’s eyes, and you can finally feel the tears start to build as he wraps an arm around you, you let them out. He just holds you while you cry, because he knows. He and Bruce are the only ones that know about your past, and he knows that it’s Bruce that keeps you grounded, that Bruce is the one that keeps you from slipping. And he knows that if Bruce Wayne dies, as soon as you’re able to, you’ll hunt down the bastard who caused it. And he knows that he’ll have to be the one to stop you.

          For that reason Clark Kent prays that Bruce Wayne pulls through, for the boys, for you, and for your unborn baby girl.

I haven’t titled this yet, but here’s a preview. Feedback is much appreciated :) 

As much as he was used to this ritual you had of never keeping your hands off him the first twenty-four hours he was gone away from anywhere, and as much as he knew that you wanted to absolutely devour him even before he got into your arms once he climbed down the stairs of his jet, he was never fully used to it.

           It always left a bubble in his tummy, a tiny nervous bubble he only gets before shows or when he knows he must leave you for a long period of time. But this was a good nervous, the kind of nervous that always raised the question, ‘what has she got in store this time?’

           He heard the back-door creak open, a smile played on the corners of his lips as he looked out into his backyard over the patio in his two-story home, knowing full and well your arms would be around him soon. He stood still, his ears perked up when your footprints came closer on the wood, wine glass in his hand, taking a swig of the blood red liquid, smirking when he could smell your shampoo.

           You had just gotten out of the shower, following a massive dinner he had made, and then proceeded to have you as dessert, right there on the table. Your hands roamed up his massive back, one hand trailing over his shoulder to grip his chest, while the other wrapped around his tummy. Trapped in a hug from the back, you kissed the freckle right between his shoulder blades.

           “Mmm,” you hummed and took a big breath of his skin, the hand on his tummy trailing down to his happy trail, scratching at the hair. He took in a sharp breath as your fingers danced softly on his skin.

           Before you knew it, he had turned to face you, holding you around the waist.

           “Easssy, tiger,” he kissed your forehead. You pouted in protest and he smiled, setting his wine glass down on the ledge behind him, standing to his feet.

           “I can’t help it”, you started placing wet kisses on his chest, scratching your nails up his back. Your kisses kept dropping lower, your leg jut out behind you and you were about to get on your knees when he grabbed your elbow and pulled you back to your feet. Another pout adorned your lips and he full out laughed this time, kissing your lips.

           “Needy girl, are you?” he was still smiling softly, biting his lip, “not out here, baby,” he lovingly pulled you into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. His back hit the door and you wasted no time pressing more kisses to his chest as you heard an ‘oof’ leave his chest from your gentle push, un-wrapping the tie of your robe, kissing the spot right under his neck, your hands dancing on the waistband of his sweats.

           “Slow down, slow down,” he giggled a bit between your kisses to his nose and his mouth, both of your hands gripping his bum under his pants, “M’right here, not goin’ anywhere for a little while,” he assured you, but you didn’t care. He was yours, and yours to worship, and you were planning on doing that. Every second you got.

           “I have a surprise,” you finally mumbled out on his neck, squeezing his ass.

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Random Headcanons of the Week #3

Hello, everyone!
This time we decided to think about the reactions of some of our favorite characters to a prompt that we found a while ago and really enjoyed:

Reader: “May I ask you politely to slam me into the wall and make out with me?” 


Reinhardt

Actually, watch out how you phrase this question. Don’t say pin instead of slam because he will probably just charge at you and kill you instantly, not even realizing what he’s doing.

Reinhardt would be very sweet about it. He asks if you’re okay with it since you’re not exactly alone at the moment and people might be watching, he doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.
“Anything I can do to make meinen Schatz happy!” he laughs as he carefully slams you against the wall. Well, you won’t have to worry about any spectators anyways; it’s probably way too hard to see what’s going on behind this lovely giant.

McCree

“Woah, there!” would probably be the first thing he says but, of course, he won’t leave it at that. He leans in a bit closer and asks you to repeat your question.
“I ain’t sure if I understood ya correctly, darlin’. Could you say that again?”
As you quietly repeat your question with a giant blush on your face, the smirk on his lips just grows bigger and bigger. He’ll definitely fulfill your desire.
“Well, guess I can’t say no to that.”

Jack Morrison

He just stares at you for several seconds, slowly processing your words before he becomes extremely flustered. His face turns bright red and he has absolutely no idea what to say as you just keep staring at him unfazed. At some point, he would gather his courage and take a look around to make sure no one is watching the two of you.
“I mean since you asked politely…why not?”

Gabriel Reyes

Your question is originally meant as a joke. You are sure that Gabriel must have noticed the tone in your voice but he just doesn’t care. At all.
“Whatever you want,” he mutters with a smirk.
He doesn’t even hesitate for one single second. There is absolutely no time for you to regret anything or retract your words. Contrary to Jack, Gabriel doesn’t care about being seen at all, he’ll make sure everyone knows you belong to him. 

Junkrat

He’s convinced that you reached a completely new level of telling jokes. He laughs it off but on the inside, he would love to grant your wish. However, he soon notices your determined expression and realizes that you’re far from joking.
“Wait, for real?”
“Yes, for real!”
His face is adorned by the largest grin as he leaves you no room to breathe for the next few minutes.

Hanzo

This poor man is just so confused when you ask him. Why would you want that, especially in public? Where you going crazy? You two barely show any affection outside one of your rooms so this is a completely new topic for him. Hanzo just stares at you for a while, it feels wrong but he still kind of wants to comply with your request. However, he takes his time so you have to take matters into your own hands. In the end, Hanzo is the one getting slammed into the wall and receiving kisses all over his face. It takes him a while but he will be glad to return those. 

Genji

You will definitely need to reassure him that it’s okay. Because of his past as a notorious playboy, he doesn’t want you to feel like you’re just one of many others; he wants you to know that you’re special and the most precious thing in his life.
“I know, love. Don’t worry about it! Now come on, I asked you politely, didn’t I?” you tell him. He lets out a small giggle and starts kissing you intimately, still wanting this to be a cherished moment.


Mei

Since both of you are usually pretty shy, this question absolutely catches her off guard. With flushed cheeks, she asks if you are really sure about this. As you answer in the affirmative, Mei quickly builds an ice wall to shield the two of you from any unwanted spectators. However, you still are the one who has to take the initiative. 

Sombra

She decides to use her abilities to make sure no one would interrupt you. Automatic doors? Hacked and closed. Lights? Hacked and off for the next fifteen minutes. Surveillance cameras? What surveillance cameras? But of course, before things start getting heated, there’s an important question.
“Are we talking about making out or making out?” she questions cheekily.
“If we’re gonna do it, we better do it right, don’t you think?”

D.Va

Hana simply grins at you, offering a deal: “Sure thing, yeobo! But only if you beat me at Street Fighter!” You stare at her confusedly. It is impossible to beat her at any video game; she could just say no if she isn’t feeling like it. But things turn out quite differently: you win. Or rather, someone lets you win.
“You know, you could have just said yes without this whole ordeal, Hana!”
“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” she responds as she puts away the controller and starts making her way over to you.

Pharah

She sends you an emotionless gaze for a few seconds before frantically looking around and making sure no one is watching. She wouldn’t admit it but she had a really bad day at work and is more than glad that you asked. From time to time, Pharah really needs a small make-out session to relieve the stress. Who doesn’t? 

Mercy

Angela seems barely fazed by your question even though her cheeks are taking on a slightly rosy tint. She smiles warmly at you and would agree but she notices a lot of Overwatch suddenly running around.
“Why don’t we take this somewhere private later? Seems like a team just got back from a mission so I’ll have to take a look at them, okay?” You nod and she gives you a quick peck on the lips before walking away to the infirmary. The busy doctor will definitely fulfill your wish later in the evening.

Widowmaker

She doesn’t care about any possible bystanders at all. You want a make-out session, you’ll get a make-out session. However, she’s not really sure if she’s doing it right. Amélie needs a surprising amount of reassurance on that topic, she never really knows how to interpret all these feelings inside her or read her partner’s emotions. She has trouble actually telling if you’re enjoying this or not so make sure to tell her.


Bonus: Bastion

The three glasses of red wine affect you in a weird way: the fact that you ask Bastion to make out with you speaks volumes. Bastion lets out a puzzled beep, awkwardly patting your back with one of his arms. Of course, you realize your mistake after a few minutes.
“Right, sorry. You’re…you don’t even have a mouth, sorry. Shit, I apologize, Bastion.”
The robot reassures you with an understanding dweet.

anonymous asked:

leela that liveshow was. a lot. so cute. Dan talking about love made me 👀

it was definitely a lot oh my god. one of my favorites in a long time and a real treasure trove of open stories, asides, opinions, and general insights into his mind, his opinions on work, his life, and of course, yes, his thoughts on love. i almost wondered if he was a little bit tipsy from the sushi dinner he mentioned going on since he’s always sort of told us that he’s pretty sensitive to wine (he was tipsy while editing that sims video when he left the flipside christmas party in december and he’d only had one glass of wine?) because honestly there was so much rambling and vulnerability in this that i wasn’t prepared for. uhhh, brace yourselves bc this is like,, the longest shit i’ve written about them in ages. i can always count on a dan live show to bring out my inner desires to write an actual novel haha

INSIGHTS ABOUT HIMSELF

the meditation bit. that was so lovely on so many levels. to know that he’s tried meditating is one thing. to watch him try to walk us through some of the fundamental tenets of a meditative mindset was another. it was so fascinating to me to hear him confirm the way in which he feels plagued by the onslaught of noise in his life, and crucially, for him, that’s all online noise—he kept talking about imaginary conversations, how all of our communication is text on the internet, and that he ingests so many of those voices constantly and always feels their presence. even though that is a generalizable thing that all of us suffer from, to an extent, in a world where we’re so digitally connected, it’s staggering to think about the scale on which he has to deal with all of the white noise and that all of it is both distressing to him and also inescapable in that it’s the foundation of his career. i just see dan as being someone who is so internally conflicted about so many things and that includes, most centrally, the role of the internet and his presence on it, and it doesn’t take much reaching to understand why he must love and hate it in equal measure.

the hydration campaign. y’all i’ve been trying to track every stay hydrated mention since the one in pinof 8 when they literally made like a psa, with no explanation or context, about the importance of water and staying hydrated and just stuck it in the middle of that vid. i’ve lost track though bc they’ve worked it into nearly every video they’ve made since then and i WANT TO KNOW WHAT ITS ABOUT. i am adamant that it’s an inside joke of some sort. i don’t think they actually give a fuck how much water we drink lol. so today when dan was like “i need to find a way to work that into the next video .. .might already be in it,” and then at the end when he said he needs to leave to go “get hydrated,” i was living bc it was the most open confirmation yet that this is something they’re so intentionally doing and working into their vids. idk if it’s just a funny thing but … my instinct is that it has some sort of deeper meaning that only they know and i’m ANNOYED THEYRE ALLOWED TO RUB THESE JOKES RIGHT IN OUR FACES UGH. jk they can carry on w their married behavior but. i want it all to lead to some sort of announcement that they’re starting a joint bottled water business at the very least. or maybe its just a euphemism for sex. who knows. ugh

dan acknowledging his pretentiousness about music is all i’ve ever wanted. it’s so funny to me how just his self-awareness that he is very pretentious and particular about his tastes is all i needed to forgive him for all of it because what pissed me off more than anything ever about dan’s approach to talking about music were his flimsy attempts at trying to act like he was so accepting and tolerant of all people’s music tastes and that he’s some sort of diplomatic saint who respects and celebrates everyone’s preferences bc … literally no he fucking doesn’t he has never even tried to make it convincing hahah. so him just outright apologizing for it today in his usual self-deprecating fashion was like the funniest, best thing to me bc god at least he knows and realizes and like maybe now he can actually work on talking about music in the deeper and complex ways that he so clearly wants to. also as a music snob in my own right i feel him on this and i’ve always just found it way easier to preface every conversation w the clear statement that these r just my own standards and i’m a douche and i’m never actually trying to disrespect anyone who might like different things than me. anyway, i love dan

INSIGHTS ABOUT WORK & LIFE

i suspected and even posted about the fact that unexpected things might have happened this week that caused phil to be delayed in posting his video and dan to be all but silent on twitter for several days. i speculated dan may not have been in a good place this week based on his silence and also the way he seemed to teeter on the brink of quite overt negativity during last week’s live show. to me, today’s live show seemed fully in the throes of that negative headspace. there was a resurgence of bleak little comments about how he’s tired (of living), how he looks like a rat and doesn’t want to be reminded about the reality of his existence, how his life is a joke, how he can’t comprehend that anyone could draw inspiration from his videos or that his stories could brighten people’s days, etc. etc. all said as casual asides and mostly followed by little laughs as is his norm, but it was very reminiscent to me of the time in early january around his 2016 memes video and his first couple live shows of the year where he talked so frequently about craving death and feeling anxious and judging his own work output too harshly, and the constant pressure of scrutiny from his audience. i don’t think this live show was as bad as all of that but it’s clear that things might be a bit difficult right now and dan confirmed that himself when he stated that it’s been a challenging week in ways he can’t talk about with us yet. i was so interested to hear him say we could ask him about it in like five months though. literally,,, i put it in my calendar for august because i’m just so curious. we have almost no hints to go off of in terms of speculating about what it could be, but to me the fact that we would be able to ask him five months from now seems to suggest that it’s not personal (i jokingly wrote in tags that he and phil had gotten in a tiff this week lol) bc if it was he wouldn’t mention it at all i don’t think and definitely at the very least wouldn’t have given us such a specific timeframe about when we could ask about it. it’s likely work-related bc of that timeframe: a new project of some sort that will be out later this year, for which perhaps several planning meetings or deadlines had to happen/be met this week? it’s hard to say why that would put dan in such a negative headspace but he’s said before that he gets that way when he’s sleep deprived and he did just seem very very tired beneath everything. … also possible it could be about moving? maybe house hunting was very stressful and didn’t go to plan. late summer (five months from now) would be a fitting time for them to have made their move, and really it’s the only other possible thing i can think of with a timeframe that dan would specifically tell us. in any case,,, mark your cals for august y’all bc i actually can’t wait to hear more insights about this week even if we have to wait months for them.

that being said, the new dinof video is coming tmrw or the day after and he was still pretty vague about what it will be about. as i spelled out in completely unnecessary detail after last week’s live show i believe he was going to make the video about dropping the dinof user name but then changed his mind (this is the video he referenced today when he said “i was going to make a video but then decided it should be the next one” before going on like a 3-min rant about how sometimes he just feels the timing isn’t right to post a particular video.) so that leaves the field wide open for what this next vid could be. the only other hint we got was that it could be kink-related because the premium he opened that said “kinkshame me daddy” prompted him to say “well you’ll like my next vid,” but then he quickly walked it back as though to dispel anyone’s expectations that it would be kink-related? it was all a bit confusing. on that subject he did note down the idea of doing a video about going to the dentist back in a february live show, so there’s a high possibility to me that it could be about that since it’s like sort of (maybe jokingly) a kink for him, but he wouldn’t want to tease something that’s mostly NOT about kinks by saying it’s kink-related, hence his rapid back-tracking. but like. tbh who knows … dan is confusing and could pull something totally out of left field behind all of this quibbling. i mostly ardently agree with the way he told us to feel about it, which is to have literally no expectations or theories about what it could be hahah … best advice he’s ever given tbh

confirmation that he and phil will attend playlist this year, and a sort of allusion to the traditional lester clan april holiday in florida. probably means that he will join them again this year. it was kind of nice to hear him basically walk us through how all of their decisions about conventions and travel are made jointly, even months and months into the future, and to have no qualms with sharing that. he also just kept reiterating vaguely that they might have plans at various points of the year and idk about y’all but i feel like he’s trying his hardest to let us know that those plans involve each other and probs always will. could be work things (the same project that may have caused them stress this week), could, as he said in his own words back in january, be “life things.” could be both. but regardless, the plans are always danandphil things, both of them together, and i’m not sure how there is still a strain of people that insists on arguing that a moving apart or separation is on the horizon for this year. all of that is summed up in this one amazing exchange for me, when someone in the chat asks, “are you excited for australia again?” and he answers, “yeah, we are.”

i also really dug the insight about how he likes to structure his work in such a way that he’s working for three weeks straight with no days off and then takes a whole week to lose himself in a game. it’s very dan to be so all or nothing about the way that he works and to become consumed so completely by whatever’s at hand (whether it’s work or leisure) and although i might’ve suspected that that’s how he operates i don’t think we’ve ever heard him lay it out that clearly

INSIGHTS ABOUT PHIL & LOVE

that he opened this live stream with such an earnest celebration of phil (thanking him, literally, for existing and making videos even though it was technically a misspeak) was so lovely and not what i expected but it set a nice tone for the start of this stream. the bants-y way in which he acknowledge the subscriber gap was also a tiny bit noteworthy to me, especially in light of that ask i answered recently about how they must approach the subscriber gap. i argued it def isn’t something they are sensitive about and probs isn’t something they joke about either, but dan sort of showed that he might approach it w humor if the situation calls for it rather than ignore it altogether. interesting. he’s clearly so proud of phil and was a little flustered in talking about how exciting the milestone was. and then, relatedly, so so animated and excited about “promo-ing (awkward pause and sidelong glance) his pal” and the gym video. i fucking loved hearing his version of the story and how surprisingly soft and tender he sounded when he was describing phil on the phone asking for an exercise plan (like, his tone was verging on adoring there) and then the way he looked when he got back. the way that dan says “what happened?” when he’s recounting how he talked to phil after he got home literally set my heart aflutter bc it was sooooooooo concerned-sounding even in a re-enactment, even in front of thousands of people, so i can’t even imagine how worried he must have genuinely been in that moment. the thing w videos is that they allow these real-life stories that happen to dnp to take on a sort of surreal almost fictional feel bc of the storytelling dnp employ—videos have like a real narrative arc and they’re packaged to be entertaining so in some ways it’s easy to forget that this is actually a true thing that happened. phil lester went to the gym and threw up twice from over-exertion and came home in half the time he was supposed to be gone and dan, the worried partner, was there to receive him when he did. and then, of course, to get super angry on his behalf and tell us about it later. i was literally rejoicing to hear dan be so honest about his emotional reaction to this happening to phil bc it might be something he would have usually phrased another way (‘can u believe phil asked for this one thing and got this other thing instead what is wrong with people this is why we don’t go outside’) instead of literally just stating his emotion so bluntly (‘i was actually like really mad … like honestly i was so angry when he told me.’) that difference in communicating how he feels is so hugely important to me and it’s what gave the story so much dimension,, i could literally picture dan and his instinct towards protectiveness that we’ve seen time and time and time again when it comes to phil, just full of irritation, disbelief, and actual anger in that moment and he had no problem with telling us that was what happened. i nearly thought that when he said he couldn’t go to that gym bc he didn’t want to see kyle/leon, that he was saying any real-life encounter with him would end in dan giving kyle/leon an angry speech about his lack of professionalism and total ineptitude at his job. i totally believe that it would.

the other part of dan’s reaction that i feel is worth noting is the way that he immediately said to phil that he needs to learn to be more assertive in a knowing tone as though it’s something they discuss often and, to be honest, it IS something that has come up before over and over in the way that dan portrays phil. that he’s too “polite” to call people out if they’re abusing him online, that he believes in things like etiquette and courtesy, that his personality is adorable and, in not so many words, soft. we even have seen him describe it in certain specific real life scenarios. an example that comes to mind is when they were doing the joint live show in november last year and dan wanted to talk about the sound guy who fucked up his mic at dapgoose LA, subsequently causing him to loose his voice for the boncas. dan clearly wanted to go off about how incapable the sound guy had been but asks phil for permission basically, and phil tempers dan’s response a lot and recounts the situation diplomatically. a random example that also comes to mind from ages ago is in dan’s what not to do at the cinema video from 2012 where he talks about a scenario when he and phil go out to see a movie and he, dan, is assertive enough to both 1. ask for people to completely get up and move if they’re sitting in his and phil’s seats, and, 2. shush them if they’re being too loud. he even acts out phil saying “oh my god you did not just do that, i don’t know you,” and trying to hide. i feel like this is a difference between them that’s sometimes under-discussed  or noticed because the main focus is always on their anxieties and insecurities and general distaste for human interaction. people also focus on phil making small talk with people in social settings and take that to mean that he is more confident and calm. but i earnestly believe that he is more reserved than dan in many ways and that includes in facing negative or stressful situations and dan, despite his own set of anxieties, has always been much more able and willing to demand and ask for what he feels he (or phil) deserves.

obvi the thing everyone wants to talk about (and i’m right there with y’all) is dan’s truly surprising decision to entertain a question about love and then give a definition of it. after a bit of waffling and dithering about whether it is or isn’t a social construct he seems to insist that it is a real feeling and defines it as “the fear of that person not being there mixed with sexual attraction.” super interesting to me because he seems to totally approach this question from his own perspective and experience which is why in the moment he seems to suggest that you need to experience sexual attraction in order to love people (and where does that leave people on the ace spectrum?) and, moreover, that love is definitely a feeling people feel (and where does that leave aromantic people?) he definitely interprets the question to be about romantic love rather than talking about something perhaps “safer” for his usual topics such as platonic love or familial love and it’s for that reason that i definitely think he was trying to say that this is what love means to him and in his own experience because i don’t think he would be so cavalier about conflating romantic and sexual attraction and implying that asexuality and romantic attraction cannot coexist in one person if he had had time to think about this answer rather than spontaneously deciding to answer it on the spot.

but that he’s speaking from his own experience obviously makes his answer profoundly interesting because he settles on, coincidentally or perhaps not, one of the only ways of expressing affection for phil by proxy that he’s ever been okay with sharing with us, which is that he needs phil around bc he can’t bear to be alone. this combined with the protectiveness/defensiveness he exhibits for phil pretty consistently, as well as the occasional recognition of phil’s creativity, are pretty much the full spectrum of ways in which dan ever talks about what he feels for phil in a public setting. it was so strangely emotional for me to hear him confirm that his fear of being alone and being without this hypothetical “love” is so fundamental to the experience of love for him that it becomes a big part of the way he defines it. i mean people make fun of dan’s neediness all the time in so many ways but he straight out confirms here that the feeling of needing your partner near you at all times and staving off the genuinely frightening prospect of the anxiety of being alone are so central to what he takes the experience of love to mean. and that’s true for both of them i feel because as “needy” as dan is, phil is just as attached, chooses to spend all of these moments with dan, chooses to call dan up on stage when he wins solo awards, chooses to travel and socialize and create and live with dan next to him always. the concerning degrees of codependency they exhibit are such common topics of conversation amongst us as outside observers that it’s very nearly startling to hear dan basically say that, yes, this dependency on this other person, this feeling of paralysis when they’re not there, that’s what love is to him, fundamentally. it’s the awareness that your life would be empty without them around. that is … concerning honestly, and as always i have some burning questions about how they make such an unhealthy level of codependency work but like. they do. they so clearly do. they have for so long and they show signs every day of only growing stronger and happier in their partnership, if that’s even possible.

then there’s the sexual attraction bit which like, sure. obvi.

i also thought it was immensely noteworthy that when he read out “some people never find love” from one of the chat comments he didn’t even try a little bit to make it relatable and crack some joke about being forever alone or even just a cheeky little “same.” like just, generally speaking, he approached this whole topic very much with the tone of 1. someone who has definitely experienced the emotion of love, 2. someone who is then trying to articulate the emotion of love as he experiences it, and 3. someone who still feels that emotion and is in proximity to that person to whom it is directed. there were no attempts at trying to say he can’t relate or that he doesn’t know (or to apply it to FOOD which he has said on countless occasions is the number one love of his life,) and if anything he got quite flustered and even red around his ears and cheeks by the end of the whole ramble. flustered but not actually uncomfortable, at least in my assessment. it was really so, so lovely and incredibly insightful. not a topic i ever ever thought i’d hear him venture into and certainly not in a live stream and certainly not in that much depth. to me the whole topic played out almost as though he couldn’t let some overly analytical smartass in the chat reduce this emotion that clearly means so much to him into a mere social construct or even a release of hormones (oxytocin). he needed to push back and play devil’s advocate, but instead of doing that in a contemplative philosophical way he somewhat accidentally got super personal with it and this ramble and completely rare look into dan’s experience w this particularly touchy emotion is what we got. it reminds me a lot of the vyou he answered back in 2012 about whether he believes in love, in which he is quite literally upset and completely rude to the person who asked it, saying “no offense to you but what kind of a stupid question is that?” as though he has never even entertained the possibility that people could not believe that love is a true feeling and emotion. it’s incredible to see that 6 years later dan has evolved in so many ways and is calmer and more thoughtful about so many things, but on this subject little has changed: love is so important to him and there’s no way for him to talk about it without immediately demonstrating that :( :( :(

“hydrate, meditate, contemplate, get a mate.” such a fitting closing line because is there any set of four directives that better encompass who dan is lol? overall such a good live show with so many moments of vulnerability and emotional openness. however dan really is in this moment i hope things only get better and better for him and that he can get over whatever hurdles have been holding him back from dinof and that he can edit/post this video and then let himself take that week off that he mentioned wanting, in order to play games and chill or at least get to a calmer place. love him lots :(((

(live show: meditation and hydration with your new life coach - 2017.03.14)

Scars

Originally posted by thalassa55

Tom Holland x Reader

Request: Yes

Summary: Struggling with scars due to several surgeries as a child, Tom is there to comfort and love the Reader.

Word Count: 2,580

Warnings: Language, body image issues, talk of scars, childhood, loving!tom, sad stuff, fluff. (That’s it ??)

A/N: Wowza, I posted ?? I know, it’s crazy. Hopefully this is close as to what the anon asked for and is a decent tom imagine (still struggling w/ those tbh). As always, enjoy reading and feedback is appreciated!


Today was yours and Tom’s one year anniversary of being together.

You were beyond ecstatic when he had asked you out for the first time.

Thinking about it always makes you crack a smile, remembering the horrendous first impression you both presented to one another.

You had been at a local cafe getting a simple cup of coffee, enjoying your time.

Tom, however, was in a rush to get to a meeting, so as you were reaching to grab a napkin off the baristas counter, he quickly and accidentally rammed into you.

His coffee went everywhere.

He started apologizing profusely, but you were too entranced  by his muddled hair and deep brown, chocolate eyes that glistened every time he stared into yours with worry spread across his gorgeously chiseled face.

After that, you two kept running into each other.

A few of your friends always commented how it was “fate.”

And after a while, you started believing it too.

Tom is my soulmate.

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Take it Out on Me | 3

Summary: Yoongi/Reader/Hoseok. When your boyfriend neglects you one too many times, the only thing left for you to do is run to his best friend for comfort.
Genre: Angst
Words: 2,787
Warnings: Cheating

Disclaimer: The plot idea is not mine and the two first chapters were written by @btsfiles. I am merely continuing it, with her permission.

-Admin Mari

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 (by @btsfiles)

Originally posted by leojuseyo

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A Little Too Long

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warning: Nothing??

It’s been almost a year since you’ve been on a date. When Steve offers to take you out just to make you feel better, you don’t realize just what this might stir up for the two of you.

A/N: I wrote this for @rileyloves5 as she needs some cheering up, and Steve fluff is always a guarantee.


“I need some good places for tonight.” Buck looks up from his phone as he comes into the living room where you and the team are strewn about, playing on your phones, reading the paper, watching a random TV movie. You’re in one of the chairs legs over the armrest, back against the other.

“Depends what do you have in mind.” Tony looks up from his paper.

“I think I want to, you know, woo her.” Buck shrugs.

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Wild

Originally posted by yeolhighness

Chanyeol having a guy’s night with the boys generally never bothers you. They’ll go to a bar or to some game or play video games and it’s always just a fun, rowdy, but mostly contained evening. They have fun but they never get wild so you never mind when Chanyeol tells you that he’ll be out, not to wait up.

This time, however, you are mildly concerned for the safety of your fiancé and those around him.

There are less than twelve hours until your wedding, twelve hours until you stand before your friends and family and declare your love for one another, and he’s about to leave for his bachelor party. And, although the guys have rarely caused any trouble during normal guy’s nights, you know that this one will be different.

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With All My Heart - Part 4

Word Count: 1852

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: None

A/N: Unbeta’d. All mistakes are mine. I feel like this is just bad and I’m sorry. 

Comments and constructive feedback always appreciated

With All My Heart Masterlist


You woke up way too early for your liking the next morning. The day was going to drag by, which you hated, but there was no way you could get back to sleep. You dragged yourself out of bed and to the living room, grabbing a quick breakfast and throwing yourself down on the couch, trying to find something to do.

You decided to check Netflix when a thought came to your mind. If you were going to be spending more time with Jensen, you should probably watch his show. You scrolled through until you found Supernatural and pushed play, starting at season 1 episode 1. As soon as you saw him you couldn’t help but laugh. He was so young even his voice sounded like a baby. It didn’t take long though before you found yourself completely sucked in until your phone started to chime.

Jensen: Hey. Helping Jared took longer than I thought. You still wanna come over?

 

Y/N: Yeah, right after I finish this show on Netflix. Text me your address.

 

Jensen: K. Bring a bathing suit and extra clothes.

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Boys Boys Boys: A Solangelo Fanfiction

I’ve been severely lacking in inspiration because of how busy I have been. So I went back to basics: some personal experiences I’ve had at bars in NYC and around where I go to school, and a College AU set up. Could I be inspired to continue this? Heck yeah I probably could. 

I hope you all enjoy!

Trigger Warning: homophobic slurs 

Also read on AO3 

Preview:

Will immediately half-swerved, focusing desperately on keeping his gaze forward at the line of liquors mounted on the wall, and not ogling at the dude next to him because damn he was fine—the kind of fine that would have him sobbing on the carpet of Lou Ellen’s dorm at four-in-the-morning while stuffing his face with veggie pizza and watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race later. But for now, it definitely wouldn’t help him to freak out the dude by staring. Besides, everyone knew that hot guys in leather jackets who wore Iron Maiden tee-shirts were generally as straight as boards. No use getting his hopes up.


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love’s got a hold on me (m)

summary: taeyong just doesn’t how to quit while he’s ahead.

relationship: taeyong x reader

words: 1,976

warnings: shame(ful)less smut. sub!taeyong, teasing, orgasm denial.

Originally posted by yoon-to-the-oh

a/n: this started out as a conversation and just dwindled into this mess.


Taeyong was good, more often than not. He was sweet beyond compare, thoughtful even at the expense of his own comfort. He was wonderful, and you were certain that no one could replace him even if they dared. He was your boyfriend, and he was willing to please no matter what, no matter when, no matter where. But maybe it was just something in the air, or maybe one of the boys had said something to him that riled his ego, but whatever it had been, he was steadily facing the consequences. Such consequences were torture, the kind he so enjoyed.

“Such a bad boy, you’ve been acting up all day.”

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Auston Matthews - Marry Me

Originally posted by paraelresto

What better way to kick off a Monday than with a Matts imagine?!

Request from @bbymatts :  Hey can you do an Auston Matthews imagine where he sets up this really sweet date and at the end he proposes and it’s just super cute and lots of fluff?!! Thank you! ❤️

“Matts stop worrying,” Willy called out. “She’s going to love this!”

Auston nodded trying to shake his nerves, “maybe it’s too much.”

“Oooh no big man, you’re not backing out now,” Mitch replied.

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Nessian - Depressed!Cassian

Here is part 3/the last part of my Nessian fic. Thanks for reading. Enjoy the angst! Part 1, Part 2 

[Depressed!Cassian - 3/3]

Three days later, Nesta knocked on Cassian’s door. She had no idea what she was doing there. What she was going to say.

She waited for him to give her permission to enter. She wore a velvet dress in deepest blue. The sleeves were long and tight, the neckline modest.

“Who is it?” Cassian said from within.

“Nesta,” she replied in a voice that was smaller than she’d intended.

“Come in.”

She took a deep breath and opened the door.

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Origins

Summary: Ryan sweeps into Gavin the Third’s life, turns his world upside down, and then has to pick up the pieces.

(Eleven Little Roosters fic)

a/n: Silly thing I wrote to practice their characterisations, but I’ll post it as my gift to all of you freewood people waiting for them to interact in the show LOL

c/w: brief mentions of suicide, nothing actually happens

AO3


Ryan met with Gavin the Third in a small but painfully expensive restaurant overlooking the Thames. The agent was already there when he arrived, sitting by the window with a glass of red wine in hand and three plates of tiny appetisers in front of him that Ryan was quite sure had already amounted to several hundred pounds despite seeming to barely contain more than a mouthful of actual food.

“Gavin,” he said as he approached, and the other man’s eyes flicked up to him.

It still gave Ryan a jolt, how fucking identical he looked to Ryan’s old coworker. But not just to the two Gavins who he’d met back at Rooster Teeth. To the student he’d met while investigating the wormhole that’d opened in some university science lab. To the Golden Boy who worked with gangs over in Los Santos. To that idiot running around with a Union Jack on his chest claiming to be a superhero who’d been in all the papers lately.

They were all over the fucking place, and maybe Ryan should’ve been used to that same giant nose popping up everywhere, but somehow - every time - it still made him feel an odd guilt. A flash back to his life before all this.

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A Way to You Again: Part 1

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, and a little Smut (nothing too raunchy)

Word Count: 1547

Summary: Bucky and Y/N have been fairly successful at keeping their relationship hidden from the rest of the Avengers. That is… until Nat walks into the kitchen one night and finds Bucky kissing Y/N. While Y/N is relieved that their relationship is out in the open it soon becomes more complicated than she could have ever imagined.

Author’s Notes: 500 follower celebration! Thanks to the lovely @melconnor2007 for requesting it! I hope you enjoy it. Sorry it’s coming out in multiple parts – I seriously can’t write anything short! My brain is only halfway working right now – so hopefully I didn’t miss any egregious mistakes.

Tags are at the bottom. Please let me know if you would like to be tagged/removed.

Originally posted by veronikaphoenix

Originally posted by blackdalliance

“Bucky – stop someone might see,” I sighed – completely exasperated as he wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled his head into my neck. I was trying to cook dinner for everyone at Stark Tower without actually burning anything – god only knew how bad of a cook I actually was.

“I don’t care,” he murmured against my skin – nipping my neck and sending a bolt of electricity down my spine.

It had started innocently and slowly several months ago. I was new to the Avengers and trying to acclimate into the group. My hand had accidentally brushed against his as I was reaching for a coffee mug in the kitchen cabinet. The corners of his lips had twitched slightly when he looked at me – causing my cheeks to burn red. After that we had both gravitated towards each other without even thinking about it. In the weeks that followed Bucky had made a silent but steady pursuit for my attention – always taking advantage of any opportunity presented to him.

During movie night – when Sam had made everyone watch the Hangover for the millionth time – Bucky had stealthily entwined my fingers with his under the blanket we shared. Towards the end of the movie, when I had announced that I was too tired to stay up any longer he had feigned tiredness and followed me down the hallway. As soon as we were out of sight from the others he had pulled me into him – kissing me softly as his hands travelled up and down the sides of my body. I had let him know then that I wouldn’t sleep with him – even though I had really wanted to.

And this continued in secret – with Bucky sneaking into my room when the others had fallen asleep or stealing a kiss in a moment of privacy. We had both agreed that we didn’t want the others to know – not yet. It would over complicate the good thing we had, and we both wanted to make sure it was real before including the rest of the group. It was the pragmatic and adult thing to do, but as my feelings for Bucky had grown it had made me feel miserable. And that’s why – after the initial panic – I was relieved when Natasha strolled into the kitchen and caught Bucky kissing me.

“Ahem,” Nat’s voice came from behind us – causing Bucky to jump and me to laugh nervously. “I was just checking to see if you needed help, but I think you have it covered,” she said sourly as she raised her eyebrows at Bucky.

“Yeah… we’re erm… good in here Nat. Thanks anyways,” I muttered hastily. I could feel myself turning red from embarrassment.

“Suit yourself,” she shrugged as she strolled out of the room.

Once she was far enough away to talk safely I playfully punched Bucky’s arm. “I told you that we were going to get caught!” I chastised.

Bucky chuckled nervously, “I guess the cat’s out of the bag. I better go talk to Steve before Nat runs to him. I’ll see you at dinner doll.” He squeezed my waist affectionately one last time before leaving the kitchen to find his best friend.


Luckily I managed to not burn anything while cooking – probably because I was so nervous about actually sitting across the table from everyone after they found out about Bucky and me that I had paid too much attention to the food. When I presented it to the crowded dining room table everyone cheered. I sat down beside Bucky with a sigh of relief – reaching for the glass of wine he had already poured for me.

“So…” Steve started with a smile on his face. I braced myself for the taunting and possible scolding that he had in store for us. “Is Bucky the little spoon or the big spoon?” he asked teasingly. I hadn’t been expecting this and choked on my wine as I laughed. Sam momentarily choked on his food and had tears streaming down his face as he guffawed at Bucky.

“Hilarious, Steve,” Bucky mumbled as he rolled his eyes and took a sip from his beer.

Steve chuckled to himself. “In all seriousness – I think we should make a toast – to Y/N and Bucky. Two of the only people that can keep a relationship secret in Stark Tower,” Steve said joyfully as he raised his glass.

“Here! Here!” Everyone else added as they followed Steve’s lead. I could feel my cheeks burning as Bucky gently squeezed my hand under the table.

I was relieved that everyone seemed happy for both of us, and I was excited to have Bucky all to myself once dinner was over.


I had told Bucky that I wouldn’t sleep with him – at least not until we were sure this was going to work and certainly not until we had been open with the others about whatever relationship it was that we had. I had certainly slipped up a few times – mainly when we were in bed together. Bucky reassured me that it was fine that I wanted to wait, but the way his body responded to me when I pressed myself against him in the dark told another story.

I paced back and forth in my room nervously. I had changed into a black lace nightgown and planned on surprising Bucky tonight, but the waiting was absolutely killing me. “Where the hell is he?” I muttered to myself as I continued my back and forth march. A soft knock came from the door. When I opened it he stepped hastily into the room. As he looked down at me wearing only my little black nightgown his eyes clouded with lust. I quickly shut the door and locked it behind me as he lips crashed against mine. They were soft and inviting as they set to work, causing me to moan softly into them. I could never get enough of him, and now I was about to get more than I had ever had. The thought alone sent a spark through my body – erupting deep inside of me. He hoisted me up with one hand and I obliging wrapped my legs tightly around his body as he ran his other hand through my hair – grabbing a handful. He broke away breathlessly as he laid me gently on the bed – his blue eyes burning. “Are you sure?” He tried to keep his voice level – I could tell that he didn’t want me to feel like I was required to sleep with him just because of his reaction.

“James Buchanan Barnes – get in this bed now,” I demanded breathlessly. He grinned as he stood up to pull off his shirt. He hastily kicked off his boots and shed his pants before sliding into the bed next to me. His hands quickly worked their way under my nightgown – gliding along my stomach and up to my breasts as he groaned to himself. We had both wanted this for so long and now that it was finally happening it was almost too much to bear. He worked the nightgown over my head and propped himself up with his elbow as he smiled down at me – his metal fingers gliding over my skin. “What?” I asked shyly. I had never felt so exposed to someone before.

“You’re just so beautiful.  I’ve imagined this in my head over and over – and even that doesn’t do it justice,” he replied softly as his fingers drifted down my stomach and playfully grazed against my inner thighs.

“Imagined, huh?” I responded breathlessly as his fingers continued to explore my body. His hand stopped near my core and he laughed.

“Y/N, are you not wearing any underwear?” He asked mocking shock as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. I shrugged with a coy smile. He chuckled shaking his head as he planted kisses down my neck and collar bone. “Always so full of surprises. Well if you must know… I imagined something like this,” he murmured as he slid he fingers over my core causing my breath to hitch. He smiled at me as he continued – never looking away – discovering which spots made me call out his name breathlessly as I bucked my hips to further the contact of his hand against me.

“Bucky,” I called out lowly. “Bucky…I…”

“Are you sure?” he asked again.

“Yes.”

He moved slowly as he positioned himself on top of me – planting kisses on my body as he slowly slid into me. I groaned softly. We moved slowly before finding our rhythm. The intensity of the act was almost overwhelming. I dug my nails into his back causing him to grunt as we both spilled over the edge. He sighed softly before pulling me into his arms – kissing the top of my hair softly as his hand traced patterns on my back.

“Y/N?” he whispered in the dark.

“Yes, Buck?”

“It was… it was more than I could have ever imagine,” he whispered sweetly in my ear as his arm tightened around my waist.

I smiled against his chest at this. “Goodnight Bucky,” I whispered back before drifting to sleep.

Looking back – if I could have stayed in that moment and never faced the following days – I would have happily done so.


Tags:

I think I caught everyone that asked to me on the permanent tag list. I tagged a few of you that I thought might like it – so let me know if you want to be removed :).

@bless-my-demons @lillian-paige @pleasefixthepain @nikkitia7 @kittthekat @ailynalonso15 @themistsofmyavalon @coffeeismylife28 @melconnor2007 @harleyqueen7 @sebbys-girl @marvel-lucy @lbouvet @totallygroovyllama

FANFIC * NESSIAN * PART TWO

Originally posted by felipemilckman


Nessian Part Two by L.J. Lafleur

Glasses and goblets clinked, bursting laughter filled my ears. I shook my head to rid the noise, at first it worked but then it only grew louder. A gurgling growl erupted from my stomach, an acidic churn twisted around my insides. Instinctively, my hands braced myself against the bed post. It wasn’t my power, just hunger. The laughter grew louder, knives cutting against vegetables and porcelain. A distant headache formed in the back of my head.  

My stomach growled again, this time louder than I had ever heard before. “Curse you,” I muttered to myself, staring down at my stomach, covered in a jade chiffon dress. My sleeves came down to my wrists, trimmed with embroidered golden leaves. It was my first time wearing a color other than black-since the war. Since everything changed…again.  

I tilted my head trying to remember when I last time ate. It’s not that I didn’t eat anymore, I just didn’t eat with company. I raised my chin, straightening my back and headed towards the dining room. They were all there, all enjoying one another’s company-even Azriel had simpered as he passed a plate of what looked like green beans to Elain.

The room hushed, even Elain silenced herself when I trudged closer. I hadn’t seen some of them for weeks… including Mor, not that I wanted to see her any sooner than necessary.

Rhysand, with an unwavering smile, gestured towards the empty seat saved for me. “Nesta, I’m so pleased you could join us.”

I froze in place when my eyes caught sight of him. The darker than night hair, the devious curve of his lips and his unnaturally beautiful hazel eyes.  

“Did you get bored spending all that time alone?” Cassian asked in a silvery tone, the corner of his lips twitching as he held back all his saved-up insults. He lifted an engraved silver goblet to his full lips.  

“Loneliness is far better company than you,” I retorted, edging to my seat between Azriel and Feyre. I sat down as graciously as I could, feeling all eyes bouncing between me and Cassian.  

“Let the games begin,” Amren announced before sipping her crimson drink.

My eyes shifted towards Amren’s glass. The acid in my stomach burned but I kept my composure.

Amren pulled the glass away from her scarlet lips, “don’t look so startled, it’s only red wine.”

I didn’t acknowledge anyone, not even my sisters, in fear it might bring forth another unwanted memory. The empty plate in front of me magically filled with all the items on the table. While they were taking turns on healthy seconds, I could feel my mouth water as I breathed in scents that didn’t belong in my world, my old one that is. The conversations continued as I picked at my food, attempting to not look too eager.

“Not eating?” Feyre asked in a hushed tone, making sure only she and I could hear. I looked at her and then at Elain, both sitting quietly, neither touching their food as they waited for my reply. I was happy they looked so well, considering the circumstances.  

“No,” I took my knife and fork, cutting into a roasted potato first. I ignored conversation and thankfully, no one asked what I had been up to the last several weeks. My eyes flickered up to him, catching the glowing hazel across from me.

Cassian hadn’t looked away from me since I entered the room, both of us in quiet conversation of stabbing insults. I ignored the opening and shutting of his lips. My hands wrapped tightly around my fork and knife, aiming for the steak. I punctured and sliced the marbled meat. Blood oozed out onto the cream porcelain, staining and drowning the remaining vegetables on my plate.

I closed my eyes as the images of Hybern took away my breath. Blood drip from his neck as I twisted the blade farther-deeper until there was nothing but neck and gushing crimson. My hands shook, heat rising to my fingertips until I set down my utensils.

Rhysand’s voice penetrated my nightmare, my memory, “any word from the queens?”

“Must we discuss business during our first family dinner since the war?” Feyre threw a dirty glare at him.

I tuned them out once again, their banter continued for several minutes as I tried to clear the images of battle from my vision. I gathered my knife and fork again, taking a small breath as I focused cutting the meat. More blood spewed, more blood. My hands tightened around the silverware as I swallowed hard, my once watering mouth drying out like a distant desert from the books I once I read. Slowly I dropped my knife, my slightly shaking hand raising to the water, avoiding the red wine completely.

“Is the food not to your liking, Princess Ness? I worked on tonight’s menu myself.” Cassian shot at me, his hands crossed against his chest as he leaned back to watch me.

I could feel the blood swiftly draining from my face, he caught me. I set down my crystal glass, giving myself time to recover, “perhaps you should stick to battlefields and brothels.” A sliver of silence edged its way across the table, other conversations fading as they watched Cassian and me.

Mor’s hand moved towards Cassian’s knee, a faint blush rising across his cheeks. “Cassian doesn’t need a brothel to find company,” she interjected. Her tone sweetened as she looked from me to Cassian, “isn’t that, right?”

“Good to know he can always find a whore at this table,” I snapped before I could catch myself. My aggression as swift as the blade Elain shoved into Hybern.

“Excuse me?” Mor seethed,  She released her hand from Cassian as she stood up, making the table between them disappear.

“Yes?” I asked tightly, still seated. I hadn’t realized not everything disappeared with the table. My fingers adjusted the knife in my hand.

“Ladies, it’s just Cassian. He isn’t that good looking to start a war over,” Rhysand purred, receiving no comment from Cassian, Mor or myself.

Mor challenged my glare until clicking her tongue against the top of her mouth, a smile curling, “better a whore with a warm bed, then a lonely prude with a cold heart.”

I didn’t expect it to hurt, none of her comments ever hurt this much before. Why would I care what any of them thought of me-especially her? My grip tightened around the intricate mountain designed knife, my knuckles turning white.  

“Alright, stop it.” Cassian’s voice boomed while standing in between us. His back to me as he looked at Mor, I felt his hand reach for the knife in mine. I released it as he tugged on it. “That’s enough, Morrigan.”

“You’re defending her?” She fumed, her eyes turning to slits of wrath.

Cassian slid the knife in the back of his belt, “yes.” He spoke calmly, “neither you nor Ness are the enemy.”

“Don’t call me that,” I spat, infuriated by the name my mother once called me. I couldn’t understand why he insisted on calling me that, why he insisted on torturing me with my past.  

Cassian stepped out of the middle, a snap from Rhysand’s long fingers and the table appeared again. Cassian smiled gallantly, “let’s go back to eating my well-prepared meal, shall we?” pretending that another battle wasn’t about to be had.  

“You didn’t even cook it,” Amren scoffed, receiving an animalistic glare from Cassian.

“Yes, but she didn’t know that,” he pointed to me and then shook his head laughing. Mor and Cassian sunk back into their seats, while the other’s finished consuming what was left on their plates.

“I’ve lost my appetite.” Before anyone could object, I turned on my heels and walked back towards my room. My fingertips were glowing, lighting the hallway around me. I pressed them together, sparks shot upwards and out like waterfalls of fire. “What am I?” I mumbled to myself as I shut my bedroom door with my gaunt elbow. Another press of my fingers and this time flames flickered along my fingers, entangling itself between them before dancing against my palms.

“She’s a bitch,” Mor seethed.

I shot my head up towards the door, they sounded so close. Did they think I wouldn’t hear?

“Mor,” Cassian warned.

“What’s your problem, Cass? Last I checked, you hated her just as much as I did,” her voice only a growl by the end.

“Hate and love-there’s a very fine line,” Amren interrupted them, shrugging her shoulders as they glared at her.

My ears felt like they were on fire but I closed my eyes to focus before their words could escape me.

“You’re wrong,” Cassian’s voice lowered, gruff and unstartled as he pulled my dinner knife from the back of his belt and set it on the table.  

“To which statement?” Amren questioned, the corner of her lips tugged.

“I could never…” Cassian paused to take a sip of his wine, he wiped his lips with the back of his hand. “I could never love someone filled with as much spite and ice as her.” He set the glass back down, swallowing hard as the room fell silent.  

“Snow melts with time, with sun, with fire.” Elain replied quietly before standing up from the table. “Time, sun, fire,” she repeated while leaving the room, her footsteps faded as she made her way towards the garden.

“We’re all family. We made it through this war but we might not in the next.” Azriel spoke with more power than I had ever heard him convey before, his steps going unheard as he disappeared into the waiting shadows. Even the shadows made noises to me, like wind drifting above the sea.

“They’re right,” Feyre shifted in her seat, I could hear the strands of her hair fall from behind her ear. “You all are my sisters, Mor.”

“Sisters?” Mor protested, “the one that abandoned you? That selfishly took your youth? The one who never defended you, never bothered with you until it somehow effected Elain? That my dear, isn’t a sister.”

“Mor, your words can cause more damage than your sword,” Rhysand spoke before Feyre could respond.  

“I’d put my money on Nesta,” Amren contributed.  

The fire, glow-whatever it is-started up again. Their words slicing through me triggered it, the anger and guilt that never disappeared. I watched as fire danced from my palms, wrapping itself around my wrist. I focused on getting rid of the heat, but nothing. Panic ensued, spreading through me, I attempted to touch the doorknob but it heated the metal to a bright carnelian color. “Damn it,” I wiped the sweat from my brow.

I looked throughout my emerald bedroom, water-I had to get water. I hit the bathing door open, adding more force than necessary as it slammed against the wall. Several framed pieces of artwork crashed on the floor, splitting the glass into shards across the marble. A bucket full of water from this morning was still sitting near the tub, my knees crashed against the flooring as I dunked my hands in. A cloud of steam rose through the air, spiraling upwards to block my view.  

The sweat off my brow dissipated as my cheeks heated. “How could I be such a fool?” I asked to the heavens, the mother-whoever we’re supposed to worship now that I’m fae.

My ears twisted with ache as I heard them talking, they were still in the townhouse.

“What’s going on between you two?” Mor’s sweet voice had darkened, her chest puffed out.

“What do you mean?” Cassian questioned, I could hear his wings tucking behind him. The gradual shifting noise they made as he walked beside her.  

“I can see that look in your eyes.” Her voice turned to silk and ash-sweet and deadly.  

“And which look would that be?” He taunted, rustling his wings before tucking them in again.  

Mor rubbed her fingers through her hair, her sultry voice encasing them, “the same one you gave me that night in the Illyrian training camp.”  

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Too much wine, again?” His wiggling eyebrows stopped as she pulled him to a stop.  

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, Cass. There isn’t enough wine to make me blind and oblivious to what I saw that night.”

“Which is?” Cassian quipped.

Mor shoved him softly, “for cauldron sakes, you’re really going to answer my questions with a question?”

“What do you mean?” Cassian chuckled as Mor rolled her eyes.

I couldn’t listen to them any longer, the distant headache was now pounding against my head. Crippling my curiosity-my heart and leaving nothing but a hollow feeling inside me. My vision turned to amber then crimson, a dark red so violent and malicious, I needed to leave, to get out of these enclosing emerald walls.

Their conversation continued, I could feel the sickening honeyed voice of Mor float around me, snapping at my toes but my racing heart blocked it out. I waited several minutes before I headed out, making sure that no one was in the hallway. That Cassian and Mor had left the hallway or maybe the townhome altogether. My feet moved promptly through the city, I couldn’t rid my eyes and ears of their words. It was like every letter held their ground around me, forcing me to relive them over and over.

It wasn’t until my leather flats touched the sea that I realized where I was. Salt water soaking through instantly. How I got here so quickly, I don’t know. I raised my hands, more flickering fire spread to my wrists, circling around me like bangles. The heat within me raised, like I had stepped into a searing hot bath after a night stranded in wet snow.  

I leaned down, letting the hem of my skirts soak into the water. Pressing my palms into the sea of ice, after the steam cleared, I saw my fingertips had formed into razor sharp talons. I lifted them from the water, horrified by my changing hands, “no, no…go away.” I begged as the flames started again. I shoved my hands into the water, steam interrupted my widened stare, “how is this possible?” I muttered to myself, “I thought my power was gone. I was empty.”

“Cooling off? Or skinny dipping? Either way, I think I can be of assistance,” Cassian sneered from behind me.

My back stiffened with invisible armor, my heart thundered as I raised my body from the water to face him. “Cooling off? No, because ice only melts with time, with sun, with fire.” I repeated Elain’s cryptic words as I hid my hands behind my back, feeling the flames simmer down, claws retracting.

Cassian’s eyes didn’t give anything away this time, no recognition, he was nothing but stone. “What happened earlier?” He asked bluntly, filing in next to me. The crunch of pebbles beneath his boots bounced off the walls behind us and back towards the ocean.  

“Nothing.” I pursed my lips, testing my fingertips against one another. No sparks, no dancing flames-I dropped my hands to my side. I forced my eyes to watch the crashing waves, the hem of my skirt soaking upwards towards my ankles.    

“It wasn’t nothing,” he sighed, “I saw you strangle your knife until your knuckles went white. So, tell me. What’s wrong?” Cassian raised his chin towards me, waiting.

“You saw nothing.” I said sharply, my face contorting into hardened steel.

“Fine. Don’t talk about it with me, but make sure you talk to someone.” His wings flapped open, “it’s a bigger wingspan than Rhys,” he said coyly as he noticed my wandering eyes.

“Hm. I could have sworn it was the smallest wing span I saw on the battlefield.” I claimed before picking up the sides of my dress to retreat towards the city. Flashes of him spreading his wings as he played with children in the street, heated my cheeks briefly. Even more so, when I remembered Amren snapping at me to focus.  

Cassian stepped closer, not entirely blocking my way but enough that I wouldn’t be able to move without bumping into him. He wrapped his wings around us, cloaking us in darkness and his scent. Mother of all, his scent enraptured me. His voice making my heart beat erratically as the space between us disappeared, “should we do a comparison to see?”

I licked my lips as I edged on my tip toes, “it might entice me in a way you might like.” I raised my brow while biting my lower lip.

“Really?” His husky voice asked as his knuckle stroked my cheek, a shudder rushing through me. I wanted it, his lips, his touch, his calloused hands running all over me…stop, stop thinking this way.  

My hands touched his chest, feeling his heart pound against me. The heat exchanging between us felt like raging fire, an ancient fire that had never gone out. Mindlessly, my bony hands drifted upwards, first caressing his dark wavy hair and then sneaking to the back of his warm neck. My lips reached up towards him and parted, “no.” I whispered, my knee ramming into him. His onyx wings spread open as he released me, the fading sunlight illuminating his bewildered face.

Cassian’s cursing was louder than the last time. He held himself-his knee down, crushing the small pebbles that made up the beach. “Damn it, Nesta!” he yelled while trying to catch his breath, “damn you,” he seethed.  

I stood strong, my arms crossed in front of me as I scowled down at him, “with time, with sun and with fire-I guess if you figure out the riddle then maybe I’ll stop kicking you there.”

He stood up, leaving barely any space between us, his narrowed eyes burying themselves into me. Cassian’s honeyed voice came out raspy with a heavy breath, “remember, practice is tomorrow morning.” He breathed in deeply through his nose before turning his head slightly like someone called his name, “I’ve never been so excited to kick a female’s ass before.” Cassian’s wings spread open again, before I could respond he shot into the air with a grunt.

“Bastard!” I replied, staring at my damp hem, still unable to look up at the sky.

anonymous asked:

What was Jefferson's relationship with his wife like?

Thomas Jefferson in his own thoughts and words, did not believe his life had started until he met his wife. In Martha “Patty” Wayles Skelton, Thomas Jefferson found a woman who spoke his language. She was five and half years younger than her new husband and she was beautiful, musically inclined, well-read–he adored her. Patty and Thomas both shared tastes in literature and wife-ranging conversation. One described the Jeffersons “A couple… well calculated and disposed to communicate knowledge and pleasure.” Their nights were filled with music, wine and talk–they talked of everything. He confided in her about politics. A granddaughter recalled of Patty’s “passionate attachment” to Jefferson and her “exalted opinion of him.”Jefferson’s “conduct as a husband had been admirable in its ensemble, charming in its detail.” 

“But it was always so with him,” Mrs. Jefferson is said to have remarked, “he is so good himself, that he cannot understand how bad other people may be.” Mr. Jefferson once gently rebuked her for reminding eldest daughter, Patsy, of an old childhood crime. “My dear, a fault in so young a child once punished should be forgotten.” Patty had a temper but in her relationship with her husband, was “completely subdued by her exceeding affection for him.” Patty could reassure and clam her husband, who was given to worry and restlessness. Easing Thomas Jefferson’s emotional tension was a difficult task, one that she was fluent in. 

Jefferson undertook legal work for John Wayles (father of Patty) beginning in 1768. The widow immediately was appealing to Jefferson. At first it was a pursuit in which he worked for and by 1771, he was in full press. He wrote a romantic and poetical description of her to a correspondent. A pair of competing suitors once arrived at the Forest (the Wayles’s plantation), where they heard Patty and Thomas playing and singing beautifully together. Looking at one another, the two callers were said to have recognized the inevitable and departed without announcing themselves (Meacham 56). Jefferson was determined to to have her and to five her the best of everything. 

Thomas Jefferson married Martha Wayles Skelton on New Year’s day 1772. He was twenty-eight; she was twenty-three. The Anglican ceremony was held at her father’s house and the celebrations ran for several days. On their marriage license, dated December 20, 1771, Jefferson mistakenly referred to her as a “spinster” and crossed it out and inserted “widow”. Their first child, Martha, nicknamed Patsy, was born at one in the morning of Sunday, September 27th, 1772. The Jeffersons remained at the Forest for some day before setting out for Monticello through ever-worsening snowy weather. As they approached for Monticello through worsening snowy weather. As they approached Shadwell (Jefferson’s childhood home) and Monticello, the snow had grown too deep for their phaeton to continue. He and Patty then got on horseback and pressed on through the forest, wind, ice, snow and gathering darkness (Meacham 58). A sunset, they began their ascent, slowly and miserably taking the mountain’s 867 feet. When the arrived, they were found unexpected and the fires were out. Their was a bottle of wine left out. 

After a week or so they moved on to Elk Hill which belonged to Patty. Patty Jefferson was a careful housekeeper. She saw to fresh supplies of meat, eggs, butter and fruit; while also supervising the making of beer and soap. She personally directed the work of the kitchen on more sophisticated foods. “Mrs. Jefferson would come out there with a cookery book in her hand and read out of it to Isaac’s mother how to make cakes, tarts and so on,” recalled Isaac Granger Jefferson, a slave of Monticello. A German officer, founding the Jeffersons charming and engaging. Patty Jefferson gave birth to a second daughter on Sunday, April 3rd, 1774. She was named Jane Jefferson. Jefferson proved an attentive husband and father. His book notes that purchase of “breast pipes” glass devices that were used in the breastfeeding of infants. Martha’s account book tracks her daily work, including supervising the slaughter of ducks, turkeys, hogs, sheep and lambs. She also managed the slaves in the household.

After taking leave of his duties, Thomas spent much of September 1775 at Monticello with his family. Tragically, their daughter Jane at only a year and a half, died. After her loss, his letters home were marked with an almost obsessive concern for Patty and little Patsy (Meacham 93). Arriving back in Philadelphia, Jefferson returned to his work, but his mind was still on Patty. It was during this time that he confided with her on political matters. Patty fell ill and all he got in return was silence with no word from her. Tuesday, October 31st, 1775, he was even more worried: “I have set apart nearly one day in every week since I came here to write letters”. Eight day later he was desperate: “I have never received the scrip of a pen from any moral in Virginia since I left it, nor been able by any enquirers I could make to hear of my family”. Topped with the overwhelming anxiety of a possible British invasion of Virginia; he was beset from each side. Jefferson made plans for Patty and his family to escape in the event of violence, plans that included his joining them in presumably safe territory. He began to think of inoculating his family against smallpox. 

Patty stayed in Virginia and due to her health, she was unable to travel. “I am here in the same uneasy anxious state in which I was the last fall without Mrs. Jefferson who would not come with me.” In 1776, with Jefferson at work in the Continental Congress, Patty suffered a miscarriage. Thomas was unable to rest easy about his wife, desperately watching out for letters from her hand. Jefferson hated not hearing, and he feared the worst. Patty Jefferson was a good and loving wife. Jefferson’s own sisters fells for Patty as well, “she commanded his respect by her good sense and domestic virtue, and his admiration and love by her wit, her vivacity, and her agreeable person and manners. Drawn to public life, he still longed to be home with her family. His wife’s health remained such a concern that Jefferson sought to leave Philadelphia to return to Patty in Virginia: “I receive by every post such accounts of the state of Mrs. Jefferson’s health, that it will be impossible for me to disappoint her expectation of seeing me and the time I have promised, which supposed my leaving this place on the 11th of next month.” Jefferson wrote Richard Henry Lee, begging him to relieve him of his duty. 

Finally, Jefferson was relieved and rode from Philadelphia to Monticello in early autumn of 1776. He was relived to be with his wife and with Patsy. He spent his non-working hours with his family. Though, Jefferson faced another decision, the congress requested reliable men to represent America’s interests in France and elected a delegation to go to Paris to make an alliance between the France and the Americans. One was Thomas Jefferson and he asked his messenger to await his reply. Given to Patty’s health, she could not go to France. Thomas gave his choice–he would not go. May 28th, 1777, Patty gave birth to a son. The little boy only lived seventeen days. If they gave him a name, it is not recorded. Patty was soon pregnant again. August 1st, 1778, she gave birth to a daughter, Mary “Polly” Jefferson. 

Despite her illness and pregnancies, Patty Jefferson reminded resilient and recorded the domestic details of life at Monticello in an account book. When governor of Virginia in 1781, the British troops began moving towards Richmond on Friday, January 5th. Robert Hemings and James Hemings drove Patty and the rest of the Jefferson family to safety at a piece of property Jefferson owned on Fine Creek, west of the capital. Lucy Elizabeth, born six months prior, died at about ten in the morning in April 1781. Jefferson chose to stay with Patty the next week after the death, declining to attend a meeting of the state council (Meacham 137). When the British marched on Monticello he summoned a carriage for his family and sent them to a nearby plantation for safety. Jefferson caught up with the family much later and they sought refuge at Polar Forest. Patty soon added a new member to the family; Lucy Elizabeth, after the sister who had recently died. Her condition was terrible, but it only worsened. 

Martha “Patty” Jefferson was dying. By early summer 1782, she was confined to her bed. Days passed to months and Jefferson “was never out.” He was either at her bed or in a small room nearby that opened onto hers. “Her eyes ever rested on him, ever followed him.” According to family, “When he spoke, no other sound could reach her ear of attract her attention. When she waked from slumber she looked momentarily alarmed and distressed, and even appeared to be frightened, if the customary form was not bending over her, the customary look upon her.” She had the strength enough to begin writing some lines from Sterne–they were from Tristram Shady–on a small piece of paper. 

Time wastes too fast: every letter

I trace tells me with what rapidity

Life follows my pen. The days and hours

Of it are flying over our heads like

Clouds of windy day never return–

More every thing presses on–

She faded at this point and Thomas finished the passage for her:

And ever

Time I kiss thy hand to bid adieu, every absence which

Follow it, are preludes to that eternal separation

Which we are shortly to make!

Sterne’s message here is tragic, unrelenting so, for even moments of human communion and love are seen not as fulfilling in themselves but ephemeral: a stark yet realistic vision of life. Nearly noon on Friday, September 6th, 1782, when the end arrived. “When she came to the children, she wept and could not speak for some time. Finally she held up her hand, and… told him she could not die happy if she thought her… children were ever to have a stepmother brought in over them.” Patty was only thinking of her children and their happiness. At a quarter to twelve on that Friday, Patty Jefferson died. In the final moments, Thomas’s sister Martha Carr had to help the grieving husband from his wife’s bedside. He was “in a state of insensibility”, when she got him out of the room and to the library, where he fainted. Thomas stayed unconscious for such an extended period of time that they all feared he would not wake. 

When he did some to, he was incoherent and surrendered to grief and possibly–rage. The is a hint that he lost all control in the calamity of Patty’s death. According to Patsy, “The scene that followed I did not witness… but the violence of his emotion, when, almost by stealth, I entered his room by night, to this day I dare not describe to myself.” He kept in his room for three weeks and “walked incessantly night and day, only laying down occasionally, when nature was completely exhausted, on a pallet that had been brought in during his long fainting fits.” The Jefferson sisters even came. He could not remain still and would ride out on horseback, “rambling” and venturing on the least worn paths. “In those melancholy rambled I was his constant companion–a solitary witness to many a burst of grief, the remembrance of which had consecrated particular scenes of that lost home beyond the power of time to obliterate.” 

There were rumors that he was nearing madness. “Martha Jefferson… intermarried with Thomas Jefferson January 1st, 1772; torn from him by death September 6th, 1782″ was a part of what was written on her grave stone. A month later, he alluded that he was suicidal: “This miserable existence is really too burdensome to be borne,” he wrote, “and were it not for the infidelity of deserting the sacred charge left me, I could not wish its continuance a moment.” His world seemed to have died with Patty, “All my plans of comfort and happiness revered by a single event and nothing answering in prospect before me but a gloom unbrightened with one cheerful expectation,” he wrote his sister-in-law Elizabeth Eppes. He would endure life for Patsy, Polly and Lucy. “I will endeavor to… keep what I feel to myself that I may not dispirit you from a communication with us,” he told. “I say nothing of coming to Eppington because I promised you this should not be till I could support such a countenance as might not cast a damp on the cheerfulness of others.”

In this period of blinding grief, he burnt everything and anything that reminded him of his late wife. Almost every letter ever written, every portrait and most everything in her hand was tossed to the flames as if an effort to erase the fact she was ever event there–this erasing gesture did not prevail. Later offered again the position as Ambassador to France, he quickly excepted–wishing to get away from Monticello and out of the shadow of a woman. During the 1790s, he would rebuild Monticello and the place where they used to live together. Thomas Jefferson kept his promise to his wife and he never married.

2

“Iron Lady” - [Jeremy Irons / Tom Hiddleston - Multi-chapter].

Chapter I: “Horses”.

SummaryWidower Jeremy, falls for and marries his son’s friend despite tripling her age. And just a few years later, his health problems and the return of his best friend, Tom, to London, make him doubt his marriage and wonder if his wife would be better off with a younger man like his friend.

Written by: A.Wölf.

Notes: This is fiction, and these wonderful actors are just playing these characters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeremy was sitting behind the desk in his study, going through his mail.

He opened a drawer to pull out a folder, and a photograph fell out. He picked it up and squinted through his glasses to get a good look at it. He smiled when he saw his younger self staring back at him, and he put the picture away but his line of sight deviated and he found himself staring at the portrait of his young wife on their wedding day, right there on the desk. He became expressionless once he realized that she was the same age as him in that old photograph.

Jeremy stood up but as if life itself wanted to mock him, a sharp pain in his lower back made him groan and bend over with a grimace.

“What is it?” his wife asked, suddenly standing by the door, “Are you okay?”

“My bloody back…” he said.

But his ego seemed to be hurting far more.

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