you’re standing, I will be by your side; through the good, through the
bad, I’ll never be hard to find.”
A little over an hour later,
Raquel came over. My nerves had began rattling as I thought back to Kenny’s
We made eye contact once
and it seem like for the most part I was avoiding her stare with my hands and
eyes glued to Ty. I was trying to keep this straight face on; not letting on
that there is something that needs to be addressed. For the most part, he
seemed oblivious of what I was doing but suspicious of how Raquel was looking
He cracked a few jokes
about her hair and her apparel. I had to tap him to stop just because it wasn’t
anything to really laugh at and though this was there usual way of playing,
this wasn’t the time to laugh… I felt like. Things had changed now. He even
asked where she was staying and how school was going. Of course my antennas went
up and I was afraid of just what she was gonna say.
Raquel met my brother and
my sister (in person this time) before she left. All the while she grabbed
whatever she needed from her room. My mother was now asleep so she couldn’t see
She made it a point to
socialize with me but it was to change the conversation from what Ty was
talking about. For the most part, I tried to stay on topic but the way her eyes
would wander just made me want to draw back everything I was saying.
I hated how awkward things
had become for me. Literally a few weeks ago, I wasn’t looking at her with
suspicion but care because we had that sisterly relationship. Now I’m looking
at her, hoping and trying to scratch the idea that she could be looking at me
with thoughts of lust.
That night, I was cuddled
up with Ty thinking about my family and how everything was going right now. It
was golden. Now that is. It felt funny to me because I was holding to that
memory of my childhood yet here I was playing house with Ty. I’m twenty years
old, spending nights at his house (sometimes) taking care of his kid; as I had
just lost mines several weeks ago. It was weird to me. But I thought that maybe
this was a sign. Of what exactly? I don’t know.
It didn’t feel good but it
didn’t feel bad either; it was like a shift that I was learning to adapt to.
And I felt a little bad because I had Ty in the thick of it.
He was going against a lot
to be with me and sometimes I swear I still never understand why because we
come from two different worlds. It made me feel like I didn’t deserve
Right now he’s comfortable
with the things I’m comfortable with; he’s letting me use his house as a place
for my family to stay at. Did me being pregnant change the dynamics of
the relationship? Was he feeling guilty about what happened or something else
in general? I probably sound stupid because he could just love me for me.
Right? But it just feels so out of place for me still because I want more to
offer him then what he’s given me.
As I was fixing myself in
his arms, Ty must’ve been sleeping light cause he opened his eyes in no time;
he was staring at me with that questionable look so, I just answered.
“I can’t sleep.”
Exhaling as my eyes wandered down to the sheets.
Moving away from me to
stretch his arms out, he came back to me asking, “Why not?"
I looked at him shrugging
my shoulders. I didn’t have the heart to tell him just what was running through
my mind right now; me and my many doubts.
Ty smirked, brushing his
fingers over my cheek, giving me a light kiss on the lips.
"You gotta relax
babe. Stop thinkin’ about stuff and just relax.”
“I am.” I stressed, my
voice changing a little.
He looked at me as if to
say, ‘no-you’re-not’ as he licked over his lips.
He took it further by
kissing me again and again and again. The last one was longer with his tongue
sliding into my mouth. Ty used his right hand to move the strap of my cami off
of my shoulder. He used that same hand to cup my left breast, rubbing his
middle and index finger over my nipple - repeatedly.
My legs were clamped shut
as Ty attempted to use his leg to separate them. He abruptly stopped rubbing my
now rock hard nipple and slid his hand down into my shorts. Luckily for him, I
wasn’t playing hard. After lying in my right side, I let my back get fully
comfortable with the bed; this gave Ty the access he needed to continue.
Hovering over me, the
minute one of his fingers touched my them lower lips, a chick was instantly
wet. He gave me that cocky smirk as he lowered himself further down into the
bed, kissing down my stomach and coming into contact with my kitty.
I quickly grabbed the
pillow, covering my face with it; the last thing I want is for my family to
hear me screaming.
We were all downstairs in
the living room; laughing it up. I was on the couch hugged up with one of the
pillows admiring what was before me. My brother sitting on the floor playing
with Syd and Milo; my mother now coming from downstairs grinning from ear to
ear holding the purse I got her. I knew she’d like it.
Just like I knew my
brother would like the Wii I got him. Ultimately that’s what made him come
back. That and the note I placed inside.
Him and my mother had
managed to talk some things through not all but some was a start; thank
God. He actually listens to me. Like he hears me out. I told him straight up,
tell her what’s on your mind, tell her how she hurt you. Cause its not like my
mother didn’t feel bad at all - she felt like crap for it. And it would be messed
up if we constantly reminded her of that.
Ty had disappeared for
what seemed like a while now, who knows where but he got part one of his gift
earlier so I know he was happy-go-lucky. Actually I think he went down to the
hospital to visit some of the kids who were ill. I know he had told me about
that a few days ago; I think him and Game were going.
I couldn’t thank him
enough for putting up with the shit my family came with. He was dealing with a
lot especially my momma’s fluctuating attitude. He tried to give my mom some
money as a gift but she didn’t want to take it. She told him the perfect gift
that he could possibly give her was to take great care of me, and honestly, her
saying that meant a whole lot to me. Like she may have not liked him for me but
she wanted to be proven wrong about him. And to prove this point, taking his
money wasn’t an option for her. She was serious.
One thing he couldn’t do
was force it into her bank account like he had did mines. So either he was
gonna stop there or maybe try another way but usually when my mom said no, she
All this morning, I was
receiving Christmas texts and tweets; I was in an overall good mood so
responding to every single message was not an issue to me. I was in a good ass
I even got to talk to my
dad who said Merry Christmas to us, and everybody including my brother, replied
back to it. And who knows just what that could mean for a reunion between those
two? I wouldn’t even force it this time cause I know how this last meeting went
but I’ll at the very least, suggest.
I called Momma Jo earlier
since we were up and at it; she was with her son Brian. I planned on stopping
by to see her later on.
“Yaya! Yaya!” Milo came
running up to me on the couch.
“Yes Milo?” I replied.
“Dada?” he asked, climbing
on top of the couch with me.
“Dada busy baby. He be
“Be back?” repeating my
last sentence; he climbed up on me more; ultimately getting in my face and
making himself comfortable.
“Mhmm.” I responded,
letting him rest his head on me, while I wrapped my arms around him.
It was a little after
twelve so I could only hope that Ty was making his way back. In the mean time,
I should probably get in the kitchen and start cooking.
“You sleepy baby?” curious
Milo shook his head protesting.
He didn’t bother making eye contact with me. He was comfortable where he
“Wanna help me in the
Now he was shaking his
head fast moving off the couch with me.
Milo stood tight for as
long as he could; watching me move pots and pans around, taking the milk and
eggs out the refrigerator. He was talking his baby talk to me, and I
entertained it for as long as I could but I was focusing on cooking and making
sure I didn’t burn anything. I went from mixing pancake to cracking eggs on the
counter to cooking bacon. Everything looked so bomb.
Sydney came in with Ma on
her tale. I was glad to see that she was smiling.
“Girl watchu doing up in
Grinning as I turned one
of the pancakes over, “Making a late breakfast. You guys hungry?“
“Mhmmm… I know I am.” Ma
smiled walking over to where I was, “Need any help with anything?”
“Uhhh… none that I can
think of right now. You want anything else like some toast or something?”
“No, I’m okay. But ya
might want to watch that one over there.” she pointed to the pan with the
bacon; “Huh, let me have that,” taking the tongs and moving her hand over the
And that’s all it took for
my momma to take over the kitchen.
I was standing on the
side, watching and helping her put the cooked food on plates. Juan eventually
joined us; taking me back to my childhood. We were reminiscing, laughing at the
good times. It felt like the good ol’ days; the only person that was missing
was daddy. The kids eventually had their toys in the kitchen, wanting to go
outside and jump in the pool. But I wanted Milo and Sydney to brush their
teeth, eat and shower before they hopped into the pool.
As we were in getting the
kids settled into eating, Ty walks in with a big smiled plastered on his face.
This was the same look he left with after I gave him the first part of his
He got a slew of different
responses; the one that stood out was Milo yelling ‘Daddy’ as I cut up his
Juan had just gotten his
food and started to settle on down in the booth. My mother was getting her
plate and making mines as well.
“Did you want me to fix
you a plate, Michael?” she asked before grabbing both of our plates.
“Uhhh nah! I’m good Mrs.
Brooks.” he said, “Thank you though.” before walking over to me with his lip
imbedded in his teeth.
I was sitting on the end
of the round booth cutting the last of Milo’s pancake.
Leaning over to kiss me
softly on my cheek, he whispered how he missed me in my ear; I was quick to
blush and cheese hard.
“Soo I got some things I
wanna show you but Ima wait til you finish eatin’.” he grinned, making me
turn my head in his direction.
“Show me what?”
“You gotta wait til after
you eat.” smiling with a cute laugh as he looked down at me.
My momma handed my plate
to me, “Thank you.” I muttered, “Can you help me finish it?”
“Ahhh I’ont know about dat
one.” He smiled, yet again teasing me.
“Please!” I begged, “C’mon
so I can see.” turning to a content Milo and Sydney picking away at their
“Aight. But let me get
anotha fork doe.” he walked off to grab one.
I moved Milo over
eventually picking him up to sit him on my lap; this boy was hungry. When I
tell you scarfed down everything, I meant it. He even wanted to lick the plate.
“Wow! Mrs. Brooks you know
how to throw down on this.” Michael said, scarfing down what was on my
“Thank you! I wish I could
say that it was all me but it was Anaya over here that did it.”
stopped eating to look over at me, “Dang Nay! You put yo foot into this one,
I shook my head yes as I
was swallowing what was in my mouth.
Ty kissed me on my cheek
again, greasy lips and all.
Milo was now stuffed,
resting his head on my chest while Ty and me were picking away still. Syd was
almost close to done and Juan was just finishing up. Momma was still eating.
By the time we finished
everything on my plate, Ty got up and moved the plate with him. Luckily
everything was on paper plates so I didn’t have to worry about cleaning too
many dishes. Ty grabbed up Milo from me, taking my hand to help me out the
“Where are we going?” I
asked, following behind him.
“Outside!” he said fixing
Milo in his right arm.
Chuckling to myself, “My
gift is outside? Baby what’d you get me?”
He opened up the door,
letting me go out first. Keep in mind, I was still in my pajamas. There was one
major thing that stood out to me.
“Ty?” fixing my hand as a
visor, “Where’s my car?”
Laughing, “You looking
right at it bae!”
Confusion in my tone; “No that’s not funny. My car was right out
here.” I pointed to the very spot I parked it in, thinking maybe I was
further down the driveway.
Taken aback, I looked to
the right of me at the white Ashton Martin with the red bow on top of it. My
eyes lit up like it was… well it was, Christmas.
“TY!!!” I looked back at
him, “Oh my gosh!!” laughing nervously.
Walking over towards the
car, I spotted another vehicle with a red bow on it; this one was a white Range
Rover. My hand rested on my mouth as tears began to fill my eyes.
I couldn’t believe what I
was looking at.
“Oh my god! Oh my
god!” I squealed wanting to fall out on this floor but I couldn’t do
“You like them?”
He asked walking over to me while Milo held his hand.
The closer he reached, the
smile on his face turned to slight confusion.
My family was initially in
the doorway but moved outside with us.
Juan spazzed, “T you pushin dat?” running over to the cars.
Naya’s.” He corrected, pulling me over to him.
Balling up his fist to his
mouth, “Dayummm!” Juan scoped the hell out of the Ashton while Sydney
ran behind him.
looked back at our mom, "Mommy, look!!”
She stared on,
“Mhmm…. I see baby girl, I see.” with a smile slowly creeping up on
her face as she crossed her arms over her chest.
I on the other hand, was a
complete wreck; crying my eyes out cause this man really bought me two cars.
“What’s wrong? You
ain’t like them?” Asking me again as he wrapped me up.
I shook my head yes,
attempting to wipe my face; no other words seemed right or felt right. And that
was a yes as in I did like them. I just didn’t expect something this big.
“Damn! I guess I’ll
put the rest of the gifts on hold then.” Ty purposefully whispered in my
Breaking out of his hold,
I glanced up at him. Smirking and all, he was. Taking his thumb, brushed some
“I know you ain’t
want me to… But I had to."
Yet and still the words
wouldn’t come out. I shrugged my shoulders, trying to contain myself.
Muttering through sobs.
"Cause I love you.”
he reminded me as if this was supposed to summon up all he just did.
Shaking my head no,
"But this is a lot…” I stressed, “I’m happy with everything,” pausing to
control my tears, “I’m happy with you, I’m happy with the way things are going.
I don’t need any of this… I can’t pay you back for any of it.”
“And I’m not
expecting you to.” He replied giving me a little smile, “You pay me
back by being you.” Pushing my hair over my shoulder as I attempted to
clean my face; Ty kissed my forehead, “I got Heav to pick out a few
dresses and shoes for you. They upstairs in the closet.”
Glancing up into his eyes
again, all I could do was question why with my watery eyes. But all he did was grab
my head and rest his lips on forehead then he moved on to my lips while my
hands rested comfortably around his waist.
Myself, Momma, Syd and
Juan were over at Mama Jo’s making our rounds of the evening. Of course we
drove in my new Rover; thanks to Ty.
Not gonna lie, I hated to
leave Milo - even if it was just for a few hours. The look on his face when we
drove off just broke my heart. He dropped the candy that his daddy had given
him and just bursts into tears.
Ty looked so irritated -
it made me chuckle just a little. But they were going to visit his grandma so
I’m sure he’ll be all right. I think tomorrow he was going back with his mother
so, I was gonna enjoy the little time we had left. Cause Ty was also going off
to Dubai on the 28th so he had some things to take care of before his
Before he left, I gave him
the rest of his gifts: a custom fitted suit with some custom shoes to go with
it. Getting him some sneakers sounded a little lame to me cause he probably
already had them; I wanted to make this tailored to his liking as well as
mines. Nothing like a man in a good suit that was such a turn on, and it’s
somewhat unexpected of Ty but there have been some few occasions where I’ve
seen him in one so this was going to be another one, I’d want to add to his
collection. And possibly rip off of him later on, if you catch my drift.
Mama Jo looked ecstatic to
see us. I think I saw a tear or two slide down her face. My mom and her hugged
for what seemed like forever - you would’ve thought they were long lost
sisters. And she was even more thrilled to see my sister and brother. It seemed
like it was really Christmas to her then.
Poor Brian. She had him
getting us food and drinks. I declined and offered to help him because Syd and
my brother wanted to try some of the cookies that she made.
He ended up telling me how
Mama Jo was going through some things internally and how she had spent this
past weekend in the hospital. That was really upsetting for me to hear because
of course I’m not being told. She had been coughing and hacking, complaining
about being dizzy. These things were something that I couldn’t fathom her
complaining about because she never let on that she wasn’t feeling well if we
were at work.
The way she looked at us
once we came through the door, I hope we were able to take some of the edge off
of her pain. I don’t know how else I can help other than giving her all of the
best that I can offer.
Before we left that
evening, she pulled me aside into her kitchen while Brian entertained my
First she was talking to
me about my family and Ty; saying how proud she was and how happy she’s
been to see me. I spotted a different person in her eyes; a unique being. She
was satisfied and I’m sure it was because it was the holidays and just like me,
it brought the good out of people. But then she was talking this nonsense about
how she put me in her will and how if something happened to her that I Brian,
and Ed were gonna be in charge of her diner. I brushed her off and told her to
stop talking like that.
“You are gonna be all
right woman! I don’t know what’s this nonsense that you’re tryna tell me.”
Smirking, “You know what? I think you been in this house too long. That’s
what it is. You been locked up in this place, not socializing, not talking to
anybody outside….” I paused, giving her a quick ‘girl please’ one over,
“You need some socialization.”
Mama Jo laughed,
“Girl, stop it!” shaking her head as she looked away, “You don’t
know everything that I need.” Emphasizing everything, "Now
look, this is serious now. You gotta listen okay? What I’m saying is true. I
need you to be there and make me proud. You the only one next to Eddy that I
trust; mkay? You like the daughter I neva had; I know you gon’ do the right
I brushed her off. It was
complete nonsense to me and I refused to even fathom life without her. She was
gonna pull through this; whatever it is. She was gonna make it. I know it
because she’s a strong individual. And I know she’s capable of surviving
Mama Jo’s been a very
powerful force in the last five years of my life and she’ll continue to be. She
has Brian and myself, the diner. If I gotta come to her house before my work
shifts, then I will. I’m gonna spend my time stopping by when she’s not at the
“You know what? We’re
gonna go out tomorrow.”
“….Anaya.” she started to
laugh as she shook her head.
“No, we’re gonna go out
and enjoy ourselves. The four of us.”
Mama let me continue.
“Ty just got me a new car
for Christmas so, you’re gonna be comfortable in the front and we’ll go down to
the beach or go get something to eat. Anything to get you out here, enjoying
“That boy got you a car?
Chile! You getting too fancy. Why you ain’t tell me earlier?” she asked me.
Rolling my eyes, “Cause I
care about you and your health right now.”
“What kind of car?” she
“There’s two. There’s an
Ashton Martin and then there’s a Range Rover.”
“My goodness! Chile.” she
laughed, "He must really love you. That boy must really love you.”
Nodding my head, “I told
him I didn’t want it Mama. But he’s been really trying to make us like…like we
been together for some years.” I paused dropping my head, “He’s been asking me
for a while now to move in with him but I keep telling him no cause we ain’t
been together that long.”
“You don’t wanna live up
in that fancy ol’ house? Witcha fancy clothes and ya fancy cars?” she asked
with her hand resting on her hip and her head going.
Cutting my eyes at her,
“No!! Cause it ain’t mines. It’s all his. And I don’t want him thinking I’m
with him just for that. Plus I feel like now, he’s doing all of this because of
what happened to me.”
Mama was about to question
but I think she knew the answer; she nodded in agreement.
“Did you tell him how you
felt about this?”
“I’ve been trying to,” I
stressed, “But he keeps saying its because he loves me. And that just doesn’t
sit well with me. Like I feel like he feels sorry for me or something, and I
don’t want him to have to feel like that. I’m happy with us and what I had
before this relationship.”
“Well… All I can say is,
give it a while. Y’all still new to this; y’all young and y’all might think
y’all in love or maybe y’all are and just show it in two different ways. But
only time will tell. That boy got a good heart and he just wanna be around good
people who can support him. Y’all gonna be alright. Y’all gon’ be all right.”
she nodded her head as she looked away; “You just take it a day at a time,
“Yeah.” my lips curling into
a smile, “I’m trying to.”
Mama Jo just laughed and
smiled, “Chile, I don’t know what I’m gon do witchu.”
“Mama it’s him.” this made
me laugh, “It’s all him.”
A good five minutes later,
we rejoined everyone in the living room; it was a little after eleven and I
know that Syd was starting to get sleepy from today’s excitement. We said our
goodbyes, Happy Holidays and, gave Mama and Brian hugs. Well Juan gave Brian
dap or whatever but yeah.
Once we got in the car, I
made sure everybody was buckled up before I took off. As we were in drive, Ty’s
ringtone was going off which let me know that he was calling. Multitasking
driving and picking it up, my momma stopped me.
“Ooh no girl! You
ain’t gonna be do all of that while I’m in here.” Taking the phone from
out my hand, “Hello?” She answered my phone, “Yes, it’s her
mother. She’s driving right now; we’re gonna be at your house soon.”
Pausing, “Mhmmm, Mhmmm. Okay, we’ll see you in a bit.” She hung up
Not even a second later, I
was cackling at her. My goodness! She was being goofy now.
“What’d he say?”
stated as if it were obvious.
“Ooh he just wanted
to know where we was. You ain’t hear the conversation?”
My face faltering,
“No, I didn’t.”
“Mhmmm well he just
wanted to know that. Told him we was gonna be there soon.”
Juan smirk and laughter
caught me off guard. Because Syd was asleep, I completely forgot he was back
there with her.
He managed to say.
Like fifteen minutes later
we were parked outside of Ty’s. Juan carried a sleeping Syd out of the car
while me and Ma trudged along behind him. He stopped at the door, which made me
realize that I had to open it.
In no time we were inside
and I was pressing the code so the alarm wouldn’t set off. There were some
lights on but mainly all of them were off. The main hallway light was on the
minute we came through the door tho, but everything was cut off. I would’ve
checked but I didn’t care to; and lowkey, I was scared. I’d rather have Ty come
down here with me seeing how this is is house.
Ma wanted Juan to wake Syd
up so after much deliberation (don’t ask why), he did and she was not a happy
camper. But my mother didn’t care; she held her by the arm and we all took the
elevator upstairs. Departing the minute we were on the second floor.
I first went to Milo’s
room, checking in on him before I went to Ty’s. He was sleeping and looking
peaceful like an angel. I wanted to pick him up and just have him with me for
the rest of the night but I didn’t want him to be up for the rest of the night.
Cause I’m pretty sure his daddy wouldn’t be happy if he had to look after him
Once I made me way over to
Ty’s room, I could hear some cartoons on; it sounded like the Boondocks so I figured
he was still up. When I opened the door, he was propped up on the bed initially
focusing on the screen but shifted to me.
Don’t know how but by a
magical grace, I moved from the door to the bed, letting my purse fall from off
my arm. Sighing with great relief as my day of surprises had come to an end;
yet and still, I hadn’t really browsed the closet to see just all of what he
had gotten me and right now, I honestly didn’t feel like it but I probably
“I feel so worn out.” I
paused, “Today has been such a long day.” Adjusting myself to see him,
“How was your evening? Everything go well with Milo?”
"Yeah! Everything was
coo’. Lil’ man was aight; he ain’t like you leavin’ him doe.” He
Thinking about it, “I really felt bad about that.”
“Don’t. He was fine
once we got to my mom’s and he seen more presents and food and shit.” Ty
got up from the bed, stretching his arms out; “Can’t wait to give him back
to his momma."
Smacking my teeth as I
looked over at him, "He’s not bad Ty; he’s just a typical one year old.
Eventually he’ll be into other things.”
“That’s true. But Ima
need a lil break from him.” Michael walked over to the bathroom on his
I chuckled. Hopping off on
the bed, I tirelessly made my way over to the closet. It seemed like a long ass
walk but I was sure to take it.
Pulling the doors open, I
walked in with some bad nerves.
Ty was really trying to
make his lifestyle, my lifestyle. Like literally since the beginning, he’s been
making it his job to getting me accustomed and I understand it. But then it’s
like, I don’t want him doing it at all. I’m good with what I have.
My Honda is gone. And I
see that everything that was in there had been take out and placed in a basket,
in the closet as well. That’s crazy. I don’t even recall saying goodbye to my
baby. I just hope that it’s in good hands.
Then he wants me to move
in with him…like literally leave all of my things to be with him. The
spending the night over his house wasn’t enough, now he wants us to share
living quarters and quit the diner, which is probably like his last request from
me. And become his chef? What the hell am I going to be doing exactly??
It’s paradise probably for
any girl my age but I feel strongly about keeping my independence. At the most,
I’d probably move into a better neighborhood. Cause I don’t know how these cars
are going to look outside my building. Imagine that, a girl living by herself
in an apartment building with a Range Rover and a damn Ashton Martin. They’d be
like, damn what the hell is that girl doing? Which would also translate into
who is she doing? A gated community might sound like the way to go…I don’t
know; I’ll have to really think about this.
Some of the selections
that I skimmed through were breathtaking. The dresses, the skirts, the tops,
shorts, Heather did really good. Some of the jeans too. Though I’m mostly into
skinny, so she really didn’t have to do much in that department. I did notice
that some of these were from her boutique so I’m going to have to say a big
thank you to her on that one. I am seeing a few pairs of leggings, along with a
new pair of pumps, some converses and a pair of Jordan’s. Awww Ty even snuck in
some of his own sneakers. I’ll definitely be wearing those. He got me like every
single color; this made me chuckle.
I’m still trying to get
this school mess figured out; because my old high school is on winter break, I
can’t get my transcripts. I did leave them a message two days ago and I plan on
following up after New Years. Tuition, I was still looking at as well as
On top of all that, how am
I going to explain this car mess to my dad? That’s probably the main concern I
should be having right now. Cause he’s going to want to know what in the hell
Walking further into the
closet, I saw my Disney characters all piled up like a mountain. This drew me
back to the night we came back to my house from our date and he had all of them
covering my couch.
Shoot even the Jordan’s
had me thinking about the first time he took me shopping. I looked hella stank
in my work clothes while he was looking fresh. My gosh! I feel like such
a charity case.
“So you watchu think
about all this?” I overheard from behind me.
I don’t deserve him. That’s really what I thought as my eyes and hands
skimmed through these clothes. I couldn’t keep from chewing on the inside of my
lip; tears were on the rim of spilling over. It was all too much for me.
And all I could do for him
was get him a custom made suit with a pair of custom shoes to go with it; this
of course is after already getting him a watch for his birthday. The closest
I’ve come to splurging was on my rent, which was do or die.
I still couldn’t make up
for all that he’s done for me.
Sniffling just a bit, I glanced
over in Ty’s direction; he had the most chillsome look on his face. I ran over
to him and wrapped my arms around him tight; my eyes shut while the tears
started running. He had his arms running down my back and eventually hugging my
waist as I exhaled; my emotions were flat out on overload. I tried my hardest
not to let him see just how dramatic I was probably being but this was a
And all I could say was,
“Thank you!” As he held me close.
The following morning, I
awoke to him holding; covered up by the bedroom sheets. The warmth of his body
made me feel so peaceful and serene.
In my mind, he wasn’t this
rap superstar that toured the world for a living and had a huge following. He
had become a part of my heart and soul; he was the man that kept me from
falling when I wanted to give up.
I couldn’t see my life
with him and it would be hard for me to see it without him. At his point, I
wouldn’t have a reason to. Where we were at right now, I just felt humbled by
Even though he would only
be gone for three days, I’d still miss him like crazy. I wanted him by me every
second but the reality of it was, that he couldn’t. I couldn’t keep hiding
behind the fact that I miscarried; I couldn’t have him handicap me. I needed to
be my own person. I think in a way, living in this house, just made me feel
scared because it was so big. It represented more responsibilities than what I
was used to. Of course I went to my own house after I got out of the hospital
but my house represented something completely different. It was enough for
I have to really ask
myself if I was ready to really leave that. And that’s what I’m struggling with
now. I don’t want to be stupid about this; it just seems too soon. But I love
him…and that conquers all, right?
My fingertips grazed his
skin for the time being; I just didn’t know what to do. There was a plus to
being here but then there was also a negative. I know what I needed to do but I
also know what my heart was telling me to do.
Ty shifting and stretching
in his sleep shook me from my thoughts. I moved my eyes from off of his body
and onto his face making sure he was okay. I know the sun was out and he should
probably be starting his day but I just wanted to savor this time with him.
This was the morning after.
We both had to play it
safe last night; making sure we didn’t make too much noise.
I needed to get up and
call Mama Jo, so we could start our day.
Moving myself from off of
him, Ty woke up anyways. Glancing over at me as I stood by the bedside with his
hands moving down his stomach.
goin’?” He asked voice lowkey cracked and all.
“I gotta get ready; I
told Mama Jo I was gonna take her out today.”
Looking at me as if I was joking, “….You gon’ be gone all
Just as I was about to
walk into the bathroom, I stopped, “Maybe.” shrugging my shoulders, “What time
are you leaving?”
“Tonight.” Ty sat up on
the bed, “I gotta pack a few things and go meet up with Wayne for a sec.”
Giving him a pouty face,
“Well hurry up and get back to me then.”
“Me? You gon’ be gone all
Sighing, “I know.” I
paused thinking for a second, “Let me call Mama Jo and see if she’s up.” going
back to the bed.
I sat down, before I
realized my phone was on Ty’s side on the nightstand.
“Can you pass me my
Ty glanced at me like I
was asking a lot out of him. He smacked his teeth, moving over from the middle,
to get it for me.
“Lucky I love yo ass.”
“You know I am.” replying back cutely.
“Dang you already got
somebody callin’ too!” he smirked being extra slow as he made his way back
“What?” I chuckled, “Oooh
gosh! Gimme, gimme!” snatching it from his hold.
“Aye! Be nice!”
Cackling, “I am!”
Looking at my phone now,
“It’s Mama Jo’s son. He’s in town for the holidays.”
I tapped into his name
calling back the number he called from.
Ty grabbed his own phone
while he rested one of his hands on my thigh.
“Hey Brian! I was just
about to call your mom; is she up?”
“Uh… I got some - some bad
news.” he stumbled over his words
“What?” I asked, shifting
myself in my seat, “Is she okay?”
“She didn’t make it.”