and HOW AT THE SAME TIME NOTHING CHANGED

6

Sometimes it makes things hard, but Kuroo doesn’t really mind

Bojack Horseman and Rick and Morty: The Hardest Nihilistic Show to watch and the easiest Nihilistic Show to watch

Bojack Horseman is such a weird show for me.

It’s like I need to set a time weeks, or years in advance to sit down and watch it. I’ve only watched the show once but it is so philosophical and life changing and depressing and deep, it’s like I have to set out emotional time out of my day to pick a moment to watch it.

I’ve only watched it once and once was enough to change my entire outlook on life and look at my life from a new angle. 

Where as Rick and Morty is a Nihilistic show too, there are way more laugh out loud moments and tends to make fun of Nihilism. The characters can be deep, while being shallow at the same time. They can be very aware they are in a show. Saying things like: “Was he doing a bit?” things I don’t hear in modern english unless I’m hanging with the theater kids.

A thing that Rick and Morty achieves perfectly with it’s humor is the art of Schadenfreude. Or “Taking pleasure/enjoyment/humor from the suffering of others.” Every single deep moment in Rick and Morty is usually accompanied with a sad or intense song, that you can take in as Horribly deep and depressing, while being hilarious at the exact same time. 

I will take an example from Season One. 

Kind of a spoiler, but this happens very early in season one. It’s like the halfway point of season one, just to establish this show doesn’t fuck around.

The jist of it, is that Rick and Morty ruined the world so badly, that they went to a different universe. A different reality where they died around this time. Accompanied by sad music is Morty coming to grips that everything around him isn’t real and it’s an entirely new reality. Leaving behind a damaged and broken world. And he has to bury his own corpse. So every event in the previous episodes are reconnected or might of not happened in this reality. 

What makes this a very emotional intense scene and an extremely funny one is how juxtaposed Morty is to this compared to everyone else around him. Morty is having an existential crisis about everyone he left behind, meanwhile Reality doesn’t care. Rick grabs a drink, Summer Texts on her phone, his mom and dad argue on the cusp of divorce. Nothing changed. Life goes on. 

I remember the first time I saw this scene when it aired on TV, it blew my mind, while also making me laugh at the same time.

That’s because the show makes it clear Reality doesn’t care about Morty’s extensional crisis. You can take pleasure in his suffering while making it tragic and realistic but funny at the same time. 

And a majority of every emotional scene in Rick and Morty is like this.

There is a moment in season 2 where one character attempts suicide, and while it’s framed in a serious manner, it is also hilarious. It’s not that the show makes fun of suicidal people. (like a tasteless joke in some other adult shows) The inner turmoil is shown and portrayed very seriously. What makes the scene funny, is while the character lies still and alone all night after his failed suicide attempt, the Pathetic Father character Jerry, comes into the foreground, with his weed wacker. A trivial thing he was complaining about the whole episode. Without noticing the character’s pain. “Life goes on. Nobody cares.” Which is seriously sad and funny at the same time.

As I said  Schadenfreude. “Nobody cares. Might as well laugh about it” 

Bojack Horseman has it’s share of funny moments too, it’s writing style in similar format to the Simpsons and typical satire. 

But the comedic moments are usually far away from it’s serious moments.

They have their moments of  Schadenfreude as well. Such as small #relatable moments that make me laughing my ass off due to the delivery. Cause I’m sure many can relate to procrastinating and being lazy as hell on a project or having friends kick your pathetic ass to actually do something.

But when the show wants to get deep, the humor stays far away from the realism. 

There are also suicide attempts in this show as well. And while Rick and Morty can take a look in the mirror and laugh at itself. Like “Nobody cares, might as well laugh about it” This show seems to say: “Life is horrible, we are horrible people, if we don’t take power within ourselves to change. nobody cares. Deal with it.”

Which it a heartbreaking but raw realistic message.

Which is why I only watched the show once and am postpoing watching the newest season as long as I can.

The show is raw, it doesn’t hold back and every deep emotional moment has no comic relief moment to recover.

It lets you breathe in the heavy atmosphere and deal with every screw up the main character commits. 

It’s like if an adult cartoon character had real world negative consequences for his horrible behavior. Friends abandon him, forgiveness is optional, and people die because of a direct result of the main character.

A lot of the problems with myself and with my generation as a whole is that we tend to dissolve blame for things that we are directly at fault for. I know we tend to point fingers at the Baby Boomer generation or society a lot, but pointing fingers doesn’t really help things get better. If you just want to whine and not inspire change. You have to look deep inside yourself and find the will to change.

Something that both shows preach.

“The thing about repairing, maintaining and cleaning is, it’s not an adventure. There’s no way to do it so wrong you might die. It’s just…. work. And the truth of the matter is that, some of us are okay with going to work, and well, some of us rather die. Each of us gets to choose.” 

I love Bojack Horseman and I love Rick and Morty. But one is way more easier to watch then the other. I know a lot of people on tumblr are comparing both shows, but to me, they are equal in greatness, just take a very different approach to the same subject mater. 

I will get to watching Season 4 of Bojack Horseman some day. But not where I’m at right now. 

I am glad I read a few therapy books before watching bojack horseman and rick and morty so I wasn’t too mindblown by the messages portrayed.

Some of the days will be like children running, playing and laughing at the park. Families eating together inside a comfy restaurant. Teenagers walking hand in hand. A lovely lady inside a fancy boutique trying a dress with her smile and lips apart. Some of the days will be sunny as if the whole world decided to spread a happy vibe. But we both know darling, that some of the days will also be like silence in a crowded room. Like a man alone sitting on a bench watching people passed in front of him from morning to noon. Some of the days will make you love yourself more, yet some days will make you realize how people tend to judge one another. Some of the days will make you feel like you wanted to change the world because of everything you feel—because of the worst things you’ve seen. Some of the days will make you want to smile at every single stranger who you’ll meet. As if you wanted them to see how wonderful the day is. Some of the days will tell you who you are, and some days will drag you somewhere else trying to tell you that you’re lost again. Yet also maybe every day might be all the same to you. Because you’ve been doing the same thing again and again. But darling, when you try to look back, years from now, you will always find yourself wondering what time can do to us. That no matter how many times you tell to yourself that nothing is different, if it’s not you, then the world will always make you realize that a lot of things already changed. Including every people around you. Even you.
—  ma.c.a // Days in a Year
My AU’s reputation is off track :/

now these never bothered some people but it still bothered others, and the talk about this AU behind my back isn’t what I wanted it to be known for, stuff like:

  • these toon characters look weird in anime style:

it’s a style I tryed out when I first made this whole blog, and personally, I do agree on that matter, I preffer them with more cartoony looks

so I totally understand, that is someting I’m fixing with every new pannel; everything will be less anime with time I assure you (if you can’t already tell)

not major changes tho, just more rubberhose like limbs, the faces stay kind of the same

  • this whole AU is one big shipping/yaoi feast:

I still don’t get why my AU is known for that! people like to ship these characers but I assure you theres nothing of the sort,

 the only thing like that is how Felix has a thing for Oswald, I guess..

I’m not gonna be an asshole who’ll stop anyone from shipping or drawing ship fanarts or roleplaying for this AU, but like I said before, it ain’t canon!

I hope less people think of my AU as an excuse to ship characters, it’s really getting a bad reputation for that

it’s just an adventure story !

and please don’t spread roumors behind my back! if anyone has a thing they don’t like, I would love if they say it to my face;

I’m never a crybaby when it comes to criticism


(sorry for any gramatical errors, I really needed to get this of my chest)

Is that how we lived then? But we lived as usual. Everyone does, most of the time. Whatever is going on is as usual. We lived, as usual, by ignoring. Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance, you have to work at it. Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you’d be boiled to death before you knew it. There were stories in the newspapers, of course, but they were about other women, and the men who did such things were other men. None of them were the men we knew. The newspaper stories were like dreams to us, bad dreams dreamt by others. How awful, we would say, and they were, but they were awful without being believable. They were too melodramatic, they had a dimension that was not the dimension of our lives. We were the people who were not in the papers. We lived in the blank white spaces at the edges of print. It gave us freedom. We lived in the gaps between stories.
—  Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale
Dysphoria Tips

To start this post off, not all of these tips will work for everyone! Everyone’s dysphoria is different and everyone has different things that help! 

Also, I am not a doctor or anything like that! And I am a trans guy, so that’s what this is all coming from, I can try to look up how other genders deal with dysphoria, but I think a lot of these ones will also help other genders


- Showering (I know this doesn’t help everyone)
Okay, so I know it may seem like confronting your physical form may not be the right thing to do, and it might not be, but for me taking a shower/bath really helps because I focus more on the routine and what I’m washing than my actual body
Also! Using products that match your gender might really help!! I use the more “masculine” smelling products for my body and it’s super nice ^^ They also have products that are more “gender neutral” if that’s more your thing

- Do something distracting that you enjoy
For example, I love going on walks, drawing, writing, and gaming and any of things things could be distractions from things that you don’t want to think about! You of course don’t need to pick one of the things I enjoy doing, there are lots of things you could do like sports, blogging, listening to music, hanging out with your pets (they aren’t going to judge you!), etc.

- Find someone who won’t judge you!
I know this might be hard for some of you, but I know that I have at least one person to talk to every time I get upset about this sort of thing! My friends will not misgender me, and they will reassure me that I am a guy and I do pass, and all that good stuff! If someone is hurting you and misgendering you and not respecting you, you can cut them out of your life! You are not obligated to keep these people around because of their feelings
Pets can be used for this too! Your animals will never judge you :3 Hell, they probably don’t even know what gender is :D

- Find things about yourself that you like
This doesn’t have to be about your body, but it can be! If you take the time to think about positive aspects of yourself, you might feel a little better. And if you can think about the positive things about your body, like the color of your eyes or the shade of your skin, or how great your smile is, or how cool your hair was in that one selfie, it might make you feel a little better about how you’re feeling about yourself right now c:
If you don’t want to or can’t think about positive things about your body, try thinking about things you’re good at or things you like about your personality! Like how great of a person you are, how nice you can be, how cool you are, or how dedicated you are! Something like that!

- Treat yourself
I know not everyone can go buy themselves their favorite dinner or anything like that due to money, but you can do simple things like watch your favorite movie! Or just let yourself eat that expensive ice cream you bought last week :3 Curl up in your favorite blanket with that one pillow that’s just right, or put on that makeup/outfit that you love! It’s in the little things

- Try not to think about “passing”
I know this is extremely hard, but “passing” is just a social construct. Nobody “looks like a boy” because boys can look like anyone, and the same goes for other genders as well! This is definitely a hard thing to tell yourself, especially since a lot of people don’t get it, but it might help some of you!

- Find inspiration!
Find someone who you look up to, or who is transitioning/has transitioned. Some people (like me) might feel resentment at them for being further into their transition than them, but other might (and should try to) be filled with hope and positivity by seeing that things get better and that it is possible to change yourself into how you want to (or do) see yourself

- Look back
If you’ve already started your transition, look back to months, or years ago! You will be surprised at how far you’ve come
You might even feel more hopeful about the future after having seen how much you’ve changed since before

- Find people to talk to
Find people who are, or have been, in the same or a similar scenario; they know what it’s like and they may be able to help you! They can share what it was like for them and what helped them

- Just. Stop.
Seriously, if you can, don’t do anything that day. Sometimes, people just need a break or some time alone. So, if you’ve been saving up those hours at work, take the day off if you can! If you know there’s nothing important at school the next day, try to stay home and not put yourself through more stuff
Keep yourself safe and comfortable during your break! Maybe use this time to use one of the other techniques at the same time ^^

- Keep a diary
This might seem silly, but I keep a diary off and on and it really helps me! Sometimes people just need to open up, but not to a person 
I named my diary Tina, so it kind of felt like I was talking to a person, though haha
Also, just getting all of this down on paper (or on the screen) might help

- Wear your favorite outfit!!
Find that outfit that makes you feel like a hundred bucks and wear it! It doesn’t matter if you’re staying in your house or going somewhere, wear that outfit and own it! Take a lot of pictures if you like the way it looks c:

- Selfies
Take selfies when you look hella good and how you want to look, so that when you’re feeling down and dysphoric, you can look back at your selfies and be like “damnnn I look hot”

- Workout
This might seem like a horrible idea, but I’ve heard that it works wonders! Just go get beefy or run into your legs feel like jelly
This might also help you sleep, which might help by getting rid of your thoughts

- Sleep
If you can take a nap, or just crash out, do it! You don’t have anything planned and these thoughts won’t stop? Go to sleep. You won’t be thinking of anything if you’re unconscious

- Avoid negativity
If you know someone is going to bring you down, avoid them
Same goes with places! If you know that a certain place is going to be negative or bring negative thoughts on, it’s probably best to avoid that place

- Drink ice water
I find that the painfully cold liquid can really wipe the mind with it’s shocking temperature

- Meditate
If you’re into meditation, or want to try it, I hear it does wonders to find that inner peace and just forget you have a body or end up thinking more positively about that body

- Watch your favorite show
Focusing on something you love, like a series filled with interested characters who aren’t you and find themselves in lots of situations can really take your mind off of things

- Burn incense or candles
Burn it right next to your bed (carefully tho) and make sure it’s a scent that you love! This way, if you don’t get out of bed, you can still have something to enjoy

- Read
Read a book, or a fanfiction, or anything that will capture your full attention, so that you have something better to focus on

- Modify your body!!
Like piercings, and hair dye, and stuff! Hell, even those temporary tattoos are pretty cool :3 This way, you can feel like you’re doing stuff to your body on your own terms
You can even just draw on yourself with a sharpie or something!

- Clean
Maybe just do some laundry or put things in neat little piles! Any amount of stress taken off will feel super good and also you might find that one outfit you lost months ago! (if you’re anything like me haha)

- Name and pronouns
Write down your name and pronouns on things to make you feel a little better seeing that that’s what you want to be called, and it can just be written down like that!
You could also ask some supportive friends to read them or just call you by them for no reason at the moment haha

-  Take up a new hobby
You could spend the time you spend being dysphoric, doing something you enjoy! Learn a new language, or learn how to do arts and crafts, or buy some gardening supplies!

- Save up money
Just stick some coins from the dryer in a jar and start saving up for your transition! It’ll make you feel like things are going faster than they are

And remember: You are valid! No matter what anyone tells you, or how you feel, you are valid! <3

anonymous asked:

"When girls and women are taught self defence (and I mean literally taught. Most women have had at least one class in school on it) we are taught that hitting is the absolute LAST resort. Realistically? If a man has actually punched us? 90%+ of women are fucked already. There is no defence against someone stronger than you hitting you." So can a woman who gets punched can actually defend herself or not?

Women aren’t made of porcelain.

We’re not some separate species, or utterly different physically from men. The concept of “woman” is a societal one. It changes based on socialization, and changes based on the society’s belief on what a woman is. It’s a nebulous concept, with no solid value when hitching one’s identity to it and the same is true for men. Societal constructs like masculinity and femininity are linked heavily to societal expectations and how we’re raised. When someone says, “a woman can’t” when a “man can” most of the time they’re referring to societal expectations taken as fact. These beliefs often have nothing to do with reality, and you only have to look at the vast differences in the United States when it comes to stereotyping women of different ethnicity, various cultures, or income levels just to see how shallow those ideas are.

There are female soldiers, female police officers, female martial artists of every stripe, and the warriors are countless going back generations. You can, in fact, find them if you look. This is before we get to athletes and all the other non-combat positions women occupy today that society said, “impossible!” just a few decades ago.

This is why understanding the effects of socialization is so important. When it comes to learning, what you believe will decide what you are.

Here’s the truth: no one takes a punch well when they’re mentally unprepared for it.

Here’s the other: most people (men included) aren’t trained to take hits.

Notice that you’re instructor told you, “Don’t piss off men. You’re helpless if they decide to physically assault you.”

They did not teach you what it looks like when a punch is incoming, or what the change over looks like. Good self-defense teaches you to be aware of your surroundings and learn to determine when danger is potentially incoming. You can’t respond when you don’t know its coming, and you can’t prepare for it, physically or mentally, when taken by surprise. The first moments of a real fight are crucial. Those seconds it takes to recognize danger and react to it when you’re already in the middle of being hit is too late. You’ve lost the initiative, you’re playing catch up, and that’s a terrible position to be in when you’re trained. It’s pretty much almost always unrecoverable if you’re not.

It has nothing to do with being a man, and its disingenuous from a self-defense perspective to focus entirely on them. While far more likely, men are not the only ones who can or will hit you. Women aren’t any safer, and can be just as predatory.

The problem with these self-defense classes is if you’re really serious about learning to defend yourself then you need to train for it. Good professionals worth their salt will always tell you that you need to be training in some martial art, and practicing the techniques you learned in your self-defense course constantly so that they become embedded in your muscle memory.

When I was forced into one these high school self-defense courses, my seventeen year old martial artist self thought they were stupid and overall pretty pointless, and they didn’t come at us with any of the above bullshit about getting punched. Girls who’ve done an hour of self-defense five years ago aren’t going to be able to perform jiujutsu throws, they’ll be lucky if they remember the bear hug escapes or how to roll the wrist against the thumb and tug if someone tries to take you were you don’t want to go (and then not know what to do once they’ve gotten free because they never practice running). Forget punching, they won’t remember how to do that.

If you aren’t practicing to the point where it becomes second nature, with the added benefit of learning self-defense techniques that are exceedingly easy to memorize (believe it or not, not all self-defense programs will teach these), and doesn’t come with the caveat that if you’re serious you need more education then they’re pretty worthless.

All your class seems to have taught you is how to be a willing victim, and that’s the worst kind of self defense.

“If someone attacks you, you can do nothing so just give up.”

That’s tantamount to admitting that they didn’t really teach you anything, and don’t want you to think they did. You’re not even in exactly the same place you were before you took that class. Mentally, you’re worse off.

If you don’t believe you can, then you won’t and it’s simple as that.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that when it comes to self-defense, you get what you pay for.

Taught is not not taught, the vast majority of high schools don’t have classes. They have one hour a year (maybe) devoted to it (usually P.E.), and sometimes its not even required. If you’re lucky, it’s a seminar of a few days. If you’re really lucky, they’ll bring in one of the female (or male) police officers from a local precinct who specializes in the police’s self-defense training they give the public. However, you are not guaranteed to have a professional, or even just a local officer. Often, it’s just the PE teacher who took a three month course. What girls get in high school depends heavily on what waivers the school is willing to sign and how much liability they’re willing to take on. It also depends on who is doing the hiring, who they are hiring, and whether they actually care.

Believe it or not, there are plenty of people out there who think women don’t need to learn self-defense and don’t want to waste the school’s already limited resources on hiring someone for a few hours. Especially when you can’t learn much self-defense in a few hours, and almost none of it is lasting.

If you’re from a country other than America, it might be different, but if you’re referring American education then its important to remember you’re experiences (whatever they were) aren’t universal. No, really. Education varies heavily from district to district, and can be vastly different within single cities depending on where you live, this is before we get to county versus county, and that’s before we get to the differences between the states. In America, public education heavily dependent on money and property values. The higher the house value, the richer the district, then the better the education. Its important to know, that when it comes to education, segregation is economic. America and Americans have no real true standard for education or education value. What you get depends on where you live, and often on parental involvement.

You can’t learn self-defense in an hour or two. You will be fucked up by shitty instructors, sexist instructors, and negligent instructors. If you are not doing your own research and taking control of learning to defend yourself then you are likely to get one of the above. If you look at self-defense as all being the same, that combat is an innate skill set possessed by only one side of the human species, if you honestly believe on some level you are inferior to men (and if you’re young, white, female, and WASP, you better believe you’ve been conditioned by society at large to see yourself that way) and that there’s no point in even trying, you will be fucked.

Combat is a learned skill.

It is not innate. You have to learn it. It is not inherently masculine. If you are a woman learning to fight, you’re not actually all that special or standout. There are plenty of women out there learning to fight. However, you’ve got to go looking for it. It won’t be handed to you.

One of the most empowering aspects in learning to fight is taking control of your own safety. You are no longer reliant on the charity or uncertainty of those around you, and that certainty will drive off most predators. Predators don’t want a real fight, they aren’t looking. 9/10, they want victims who are vulnerable and go down easy. So, whether you’re male or female, and you’re worried about your safety then head to your local police precinct, find a seminar, and that’ll point you toward freedom.

So, TLDR:

Women can take punches but not if they’re not prepared for it and whoever was teaching you is a shithead.

Don’t let their idiocy turn you into a willing victim.

This post is a public service announcement, not martial arts training.

Go get some.

-Michi

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Naruto’s Fatherhood

Okay, I’ve been seeing this whole idea going around for a while and felt the need to address it. A main point in the Boruto movie/series is that Boruto is frustrated with Naruto for not being around due to his Hokage duties. This leads to many fans assuming that Naruto is a bad father by choice. Let’s begin.

Naruto was inaugurated as Hokage after his kids were born. They were both young when this happened, so why is this relevant? Because Naruto had more time on his hands to spend with them, being a father, as he continued chasing his dream. What does this mean? Boruto and Himawari have experienced Naruto’s fatherhood before and after him taking the title of Hokage. 

For children who have consistently been ignored by a parent, it’s safe to assume that by the time they are 11 or 12, they’ve become accustomed to it. Why then, would a child who is accustomed to being ignored and neglected, be so upset about that fact when it’s all they know? Let me remind you all of this scene here at the end of The Last: 

Does this look like a bad father to you? They both attack him, and he receives them with open arms. He suggests a snowball fight, giving in immediately to their request. Children who’ve been ignored wouldn’t feel so carefree as to run into their parent’s arms, demanding that the parent play with them. Is it really that difficult then to make the connection that Naruto, who wanted nothing more than a bond, a family, someone who would receive his love and reciprocate it, gave his kids all of the free time that he had? This brings me to conclude this:

When all of that changes after Naruto becomes increasingly busy in his new position as Hokage, Boruto doesn’t understand how to cope with these feelings because he’s never felt that way before. This is the best explanation for his behavior then. He’s openly upset because he feels as though Naruto suddenly forgot about them, because he’s not getting the same attention he once was. Let me point you to this scene here, in Boruto the Movie where Boruto is looking at all of the photographs in Naruto’s study. 

In all of the photographs leading up to the one farthest right, appearing to be the most recent, Naruto is present and they all appear incredibly joyful. This only solidifies the idea that Naruto had been a wonderful father up until his Hokage inauguration. 

Naruto, on the other hand, has finally achieved his lifelong dream, and being someone who puts everything they have into everything they do, he works hard at his job because it was he who worked so hard to create the peace that he now has the task of maintaining. Is he perfect? No. Naruto has never had to balance family life and work life. He’s always been alone, never having to consider others in his decisions. It’s not difficult to understand then, that Naruto genuinely wouldn’t have understood the implications this would have for his family.

Naruto has never learned how to be any type father, good or bad. He has no example to follow or deviate from. When you’ve never experienced something for yourself, how are you to act upon the situation when it arises? At some point, Boruto brought up his feelings to Naruto in some way, probably through an angry outburst. So how does Naruto handle it? He over-exhausts himself, trying to make everyone happy by maintaining his shadow clones all day in order to get the maximal amount of work done possible and keep his kids from totally hating him. For someone who has desired nothing more than the acknowledgment of those around him since day 1, this behavior makes sense. 

I mean, the disappointment he feels when he’s messed up again? He’s trying his best with nothing to guide him. He sends Boruto congratulatory e-mails, he gives him a pep talk, he wants Boruto to feel acknowledged. Is this the best way to go about it? Maybe not, especially compared to the attention he must’ve given his kids before his new position. But, I sincerely doubt that Naruto is a bad father, nor does he want to be one. It’s a difficult situation for them. The new Boruto series is currently set before the Boruto movie during their academy days, so this must be during the onset of Naruto’s run as a Hokage. Therefore, that scene in today’s episode where he goes straight to bed after coming home is probably before Boruto brings his frustration to his father’s attention, so Naruto is probably unaware of the way his kids are feeling. 

However, Boruto quickly comes to understand Naruto and his struggles when he witnesses him fight the Otsusukis during the movie. Faced with the prospect of losing his father completely, his eyes have been opened to some of the difficulties Naruto faced in his youth. He decides that Naruto shouldn’t have to face more difficulties from the people he loves the most. He comes to terms with the situation by the end of Boruto the Movie, eventually accepting that this is the situation that they are in, and that he’s going to have to make the best of it. 

And if his own son can accept that this is Naruto’s new fatherhood, I don’t see why you guys can’t. 

TL;DR, Naruto’s fatherhood definitely has some bumps in the road, there’s no denying that. However, his intentions as a father are clear, and those are that he loves his kids and wants them to be happy, like a GOOD father would.

(Technically it’s the 15th since it’s 1:38am)

So there’s one bit near the end of the Genocide Run that hit me pretty hard, personally. And as with most things that hit me very hard emotionally, it was a random almost throwaway line that wasn’t written to be focused on that much. But whether it intentionally held the meaning I took from it or not, it doesn’t change the fact that I DID take meaning from it.

When Flowey is monologuing near the very very end of the game and explaining what he went through, he talks about how he lacks the ability to feel anything for the people around him, and how desperately, frantically, he wishes he did. He talks about how, at first, he tried to help people. He talks about how at first it seemed to help, but every time it was time to let go, to move on, he got scared and couldn’t do it. He’d panic and reset instead. And how then he’d be right back where he started. And he would try helping everyone again.

But it became hollow. Everyone always said the exact same things, and did the exact same things. And nothing changed. And nothing new ever happened.

And eventually, just out of sheer desperation for SOMETHING new, he decided to kill everyone. And how that was at first a relief, but even that grew stale and empty as he did it over and over again. Until he was left with nothing, and there was nothing to care about, either for better or worse, but he couldn’t let go either. So he was trapped in this world where nothing ever changed, and he couldn’t make himself leave.

It’s a sad story, but it’s also a bit of a gut punch because of its implications.

Maybe in time, the person playing the game, the actual human being behind the keyboard, not the pixel character they control, would find themselves in the exact same situation. Eventually, things in a game stop changing. Characters always say the same things, do the same things. And maybe in time, as boredom takes over, the player would also try a genocide game just for SOMETHING new. But eventually even that will become empty and lead to nowhere after you do it enough.

I can’t really say if that’s true or not. I can’t say it’s false either.

But It’s 2 years now. And a lot of us are still here. And more importantly a lot of us still care. Quite deeply in fact.

And maybe we won’t care forever, maybe the same thing will happen, or more likely, we’d be the ones able to let go and move on to other things and let go. Maybe there’s no escaping that.

But it’s been 2 years, and at least for now, we’re still here.

There is also the possibility I’ve considered, that since the insane success of the game was never expected or anticipated at all, that the level of love it caused in gamers was a complete and utter surprise, maybe their ability to never fall into that cycle of apathy and just how long they can keep going, caring as hard as ever, will also be a complete surprise that was never foreseen.

Or even more simply, maybe Flowey just needed to be shown, as with so many things, he was wrong about that too.

Who knows. Honestly I can’t say how things will look in time. It could either way.


But at least by year 2 we were still here.

Everyone should be watching this show, but for any women out there, watch episode 6 specifically, which focuses on Marcia Clark’s treatment in the media. This episode was fantastic and heartbreaking at the same time. I just about cried when she excitedly debuted her new haircut, and saw person after person snickering and whispering and pointing. Gawd.

It is so depressing to realize that in 20 years literally nothing has changed. If the OJ trial was happening today you can guarantee we’d be seeing spots on TMZ lambasting Marcia Clark on her appearance. 

How is it that so much time has passed but in this country its the same ole, same ole misogyny? We talk about men is terms of their accomplishments and women in terms of what they’re wearing. It’s disgusting.

Does any one care that Bernie Sanders wears rumpled suits to every event? No we care that the color Hillary Clinton chose was not flattering for her complexion. Give me a fucking break. 

But for reals, this show is extraordinary!

<Rant over>

frustrating — peter parker

prompt: you and peter both have immense crushes on each other, but say nothing, because best friends aren’t supposed to think about kissing each other

warnings: language and fluff. plus this is super long rip

notes: prompts like this fuck me UP man like I am a sucker for cliché tropes done correctly and in a way that isn’t sexist or toxic. hope you enjoy requests are open! i’m thinking of making a sequel to this bc it’s super cute and I have so much more I want to happen, but y’all can decide if that happens or not :)


Though he hasn’t known you for that long, Peter can’t help but admire you and the person you were constantly. He finds himself thinking about it when his eyes glaze over the room, searching for you landing on you, and he can’t help the corners of his lips tugging up into the softest, most appreciative smile you’ve never seen.

He doesn’t know how, out of the two years you’ve been best friends, you hadn’t notice his wandering gaze and his staring, but he’s glad you don’t catch it. He’s sure that you’d find nothing of it, mainly because that’s just the person you were, but still. There are times when he’d wish you’d notice his eyes poring over your entire being and you’d actually say something to give him an idea of how you feel about him. He doesn’t actually expect you to of course, because by nature you were quite awkward and would never say something that you thought would embarrass you, nor would you ever actually tell him if you liked him. It’s not like he would either.

And it’s not like he thought you would ever like him in the first place.

Keep reading

Get Used To It l Shawn Mendes Imagine

a/n: i’m not the biggest fan of the whole friends turned into lovers thing but this came out?? I didn’t give the boyfriend a name or whatever so feel free to picture whoever you want lol, and I know TNHMB is the opening song, I just modified it for the imagine. Anywaysss, hope you enjoy it <3

prompt: Shawn & (y/n) were best friends, until they discover they work out as something more than just that.

Originally posted by fearless-man

“She’s cute.” you said placing your head on your best friend’s shoulder.

You had been the entire day keeping Shawn and the team company as they were shooting the video for Shawn’s latest single. Shawn had invited you to tag along the European leg of the tour and that was an offer you couldn’t decline. You even had the time to spend time with Aaliyah, who was like your little sister, in Barcelona before his show. It had taken time to get your parents’ approval to travel across the ocean to join your best friend, but after some begging from your part and a couple of phone calls from Shawn, they had come around and let you go.

“You think so?” Shawn answered as he checked his phone.

“Yeah, you two would make a cute couple.” you teased him, earning a glare from him.

“You really need to stop trying to find me a girlfriend.” he rolled his eyes.

“I do it because I love you! It’s sad that you always have to come back to me instead of a girl you can kiss or use to satisfy your needs.” you wiggled your eyebrows and this time Shawn groaned in annoyance.

“Remind me why we’re friends again? You are the most annoying human being in the world.”

“Oh, shush. You love me.” you circled your arms around his neck.

Keep reading

Show Me.

Show me where the casting call said they were looking for a Latina actress to play Maggie Sawyer. OH, you can’t? I figured. But what DO we know about the casting call/process for Maggie? Oh… only that the minute Chyler saw her she knew she was Maggie Sawyer. THAT IS LITERALLY ALL WE KNOW. We do not know if they were looking for a Latina…and nothing else… zilch…nada. (also how is it white washing when comic Maggie Sawyer is literally a damn white woman with blonde hair?)

ALL we have to go on is Kreisberg’s ass saying Maggie would be Latina. But that was ONE time, after Maggie was already casted. And they quickly changed it when they probably figured out she is not latina. Chances are high that He just assumed Flo was Latina. (just LIKE EVERYONE ELSE). But that does NOT mean she specifically went out to get cast knowing they were looking for a Latina. The same goes for her previous rolls that people are saying she “stole”. We have absolutely NO PROOF that she knows shows look for Latina actors and that she goes out to fake being latina and take the rolls. Stop vilifying someone when you don’t know the full story. 

This fandom is so, so, so VERY ugly. I cannot stand it. Saying things like, “Floriana should choke and die” is not right at all and you should be ashamed for saying something like that. If you still don’t care how Flo feels, how would Chyler like you saying something like that? Because I know you all worship the ground she walks on. You all do not deserve Chyler or Flo. And one day, they are not going to be active in this fandom (Jeremy is already taking a break) because all you people do is bitch, cry, talk shit and complain about literally everything when you don’t even have all of the facts, just jump straight to conclusions. 

Be adults. Take a step back. Relax. Enjoy Sanvers. Enjoy how well the actresses treat us and how involved they are. You may not agree with someones personal life, but that’s just it. It isTHEIR personal life. People are always going to do things you disagree with. Family, friends, what have you. Learn to accept it and move on

You walked away for the last time today. And for the last time, I begged you not to leave. I don’t know how to say I love you without sounding pathetic anymore, the words that used to fall so easily from my lips are now barricaded behind my teeth begging for me to let them slip just one last time. Even knowing it wouldn’t change anything I long to hear you say them back just to remind me that they once meant as much to you as they do to me. But I watched you walk away today and I’m still standing in that same spot you left me in. I’m standing here still trying to understand how things changed so quickly and why I’m standing here alone when so many nights we stood here together. But I watched you walk away today, and I said nothing.
My Soldier

Here we go! My first Alex imagine! Hope you like it as much I enjoyed writing it! Leave your comments behind, I’d appreciate it very much! (Picture doesn’t belong to me! I found it on google pictures!)


“(Y/N) my dear, can you hang up the laundry outside, please? I’m quite busy with preparing lunch.”

“Of course, Anne.”  The young woman responded to her future mother-in-law, making her way towards the bathroom. She took a hold of the laundry basket where the freshly washed laundry was neatly folded and put in, then carrying it to the backyard. The weather was beautiful, a perfect summer day and the sun was shining warmly on the sky, not even a single cloud was to be seen.  (Y/N) loved days like this. It changed her mood to a better one. And now that war had taken place, she needed a little distraction even more.

She walked through a sea of different flowers, feeling them brushing her uncovered legs and the touch left a comfortable sensation behind. When she arrived to the hanger, she placed the basket to the ground, bent down and grabbed the first piece of clothes and hung them up, attaching it with two clothes pegs. As she continued doing her task, her mind easily drifted to the young man that she loved with all her heart.

It was not a long time ago that he left off for war but for (Y/N) it felt like a whole eternity. Living without him for a special amount of time was a deep agony. She missed him being around her. His smile, his eyes, his hugs and even his terrible jokes. When Alex told her and his family that he was going to fight against the Germans, it crushed (Y/N)’s heart. She knew letting him go was a huge risk, he might never come back to her, safe and sound. And they were very close to marrying each other. (Y/N) had been so excited to finally settling down with him, living a live as a married couple. But Alex was needed, she was aware of it, every young man in the village they’d been living in was needed there to help their French brothers. And (Y/N) could do nothing against it. She knew pretty damn well that if Alex wouldn’t leave, people would talk about them behind their backs, even shaming them that their children had to fight but Alex was not.

Anne took the news for more badly than (Y/N). She fainted right after Alex made the announcement and when she woke up again, it took all of their strength to calm her down. (Y/N) couldn’t blame her for it, she raised her son after all and if (Y/N) was a mother, she would have probably reacted the same way. She promised Alex that she would stay with his family as long as she could to take care of them and support them, but he had to promise her that he would come home back to her.

“You have to.” She forced out crying, clinging onto his body. “You have to come back to me. Otherwise I wouldn’t know how to live without you.” He kissed her deeply as a promise for his return.

“I’ll see you hopefully soon.” He told her before he went out of the house.

Not a long time ago she had received his last letter. He told her that he was alright and a heavy stone fell from her heart. He described about the hard times he went through and how many times he had faced death but still was alive. “For you.” He wrote. “I’m alive for you, my love.”

(Y/N) couldn’t remember how many times she read all of his letters with tears in her eyes. Reading his own words felt like he was still there with her, whispering them into her ear. This was the only way she could calm down for a while. Plenty of times she had raised her hands up to the sky, praying to god that he would send Alex back to her. She knew Alex was strong and willing to fight. He had the heart of a lion.

She had read in the newspaper that three hundred thousand soldiers were saved and made their way home to their families. If Alex was among them, she couldn’t know. They had fortunately not received any bad message of his death. So she hoped whole-heartedly that he was in one of those trains that carried him back to her.

(Y/N) pitied the fallen soldiers. Their families were waiting for them like she did, but the only thing they would be confronted with would be an announcement that their son couldn’t make it. She respected their braveness, and she would always keep them in her prayers.

While (Y/N) was still doing her task and being deep in thoughts, a young soldier was sneaking his way toward her, paying attention to not making any sounds that would reveal his position. He held a large bouquet of her favorite flowers in his hands. Seeing her again in real after countless nights of dreaming about her made his heart jump in his chest and he was more in love with her than ever. The last steps were always the agonizing ones but he also crossed this obstacle.

(Y/N) suddenly felt a pair of hands covering her eyes, preventing her from doing her work.

“What the hell?” She exclaimed, as she saw nothing but darkness, her body stiffening immediately from the touch.  “Who in god’s name is that?”

“You can guess three times.” She heard someone whisper into her ear delicately. A wave of different emotions was overwhelming every part, every cell and every fiber of her body. Happiness, excitement, love, relief. Everything at once. She knew exactly who was right behind her.

“A-Alex?” She whimpered, tears flooding down her cheeks. The hands released her eyes and she was able to turn around. And as she looked into two familiar green eyes that she longed to see so terribly, she could finally breathe again.

“Oh my goodness!” She gasped, covering her mouth with both hands. Heavy sobs left her mouth and before the young man in front of him could respond, she threw herself at him, crying on his shoulder. Alex wrapped his arms around her tiny frame, pulling her towards him. Having her in arms again after all the horror he went through was an indescribable feeling. Both clung onto each other like their lives depended on the other one. Once (Y/N) back away slightly, she took his handsome face between her hands.

“You came back. You really came back. Dear god, I can’t believe it!” She peppered every centimeter of his face with affectionate kisses before she captured her lips with his. “Oh my god! Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you so so much!” She hugged him again tightly.

“Love, easy!” Alex laughed. “Let me breathe.”

“I’ve been worried sick about you.” (Y/N) admitted, easing her grab on him. “You didn’t send any letters anymore and I thought I lost you. Oh my god!”

“It’s over now, darling. I’m here. I’m back and I’m not planning on leaving any time soon.” He kissed her lightly. “I kept my promise, didn’t I?” He handed her over the bouquet of flowers which created a smile on (Y/N)’s lips.

“I love you, Alex. So much.”

“I love you too, beautiful.” He said. “Where is mother? I missed her terribly.”

“She’s inside, preparing lunch. Jesus, she will be out of her shoes when she sees you again.” She intertwined their fingers and dragged him into the house. “Come on, let’s go surprise her. She’ll love this one.”

When they entered the house, (Y/N) called after her second mother. “Anne? Are you still in the kitchen?”

“Yes, love! Lunch is almost ready. If you could help me laying the table that would be very lovely, my dear.”  

Alex’ eyes shone brightly as he heard the sound of his mother’s voice again. It was not only (Y/N)’s but her voice in his head that encouraged him during the battles. He indicated (Y/N) to be quiet whereas she nodded with her head.

He slowly stepped into the kitchen where his lovely mother was doing the last preparations for the meal. Anne hadn’t noticed him yet. She was quite busy with running back and forth, looking for spices for the salad.

“What smells so good in here?” He asked innocently, making his mother freeze in her position. She thought first that she misheard his voice but when she looked up to the door where the young man stood, she couldn’t believe what she saw. Her whole body began to tremble.

“Jesus Christ!” Anne exclaimed, running towards her son. “My boy, my baby!” She cried.

“Hello, mother.” Alex mumbled, hugging her and kissing her head gently.

“Oh my baby boy, you’re here! Are you okay? Are you hurt?” She was looking for any bruises on his skin.

“Mum, I’m fine, don’t you worry.”

“Alex.” The older woman sighed. “I missed you so much, my son.”

“I missed you, too mother.”

(Y/N) was gazing at this mother-son moment with new tears in her eyes and a smile on her lips.

“You won’t leave again, will you? You’ll stay here?” Anne asked worried.

“No mum, I’ll stay here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Anne sighed in relief and led her hands to her face to wipe away all the tears that ran down her cheeks.

“Oh my, you’re surely hungry, aren’t you? Where is (Y/N)? (Y/N)?! “ She looked at her.

“Yes?” She asked.

“The table. The table is waiting for you!”

“Your wish is my command , madam!” She saluted with a laugh and with Alex she prepared the dining table where afterwards they had a very nice time together.

***

She felt him stir again in his sleep. This happened very often since he came back home. Every night he would fidget back and forth in his position, crying out for help because he was tormented by nightmares. (Y/N) knew that war had changed him a lot no matter how much he tried to cover it. Nothing would be the same anymore. His body twitched at every tiny little sound but he tried to pretend like it wouldn’t bother him. He tried to be the man that he was before he left, but (Y/N) knew by heart that this man was not there anymore. She was willing to help him. To help him fight against the bad memories that he made.

She supported herself on her elbows, glancing at Alex. Turning on the night lamp beside her, she noticed that his whole body was covered with sweat.

“No, don’t shoot… Please…” She heard him whimpering in his sleep. “Please, don’t shoot… no.. no..” His expression showed a hint of distress and fear. “Help… help me… please…”

“Alex?” (Y/N) shook his shoulder slightly to wake him up, to save him from this agony. “Alex, darling wake up.”

“Help…Help… please help me…” Alex kept whining over and over again.

Seeing him in a state like this, all vulnerable and terrified, tore her heart apart. She couldn’t bear to see him hurt and in pain.

“Wake up, Alex. It’s only a dream. Wake up.” She shook much harder and harsher, causing him to finally open his eyes. Alex panted heavily, looking at her with fright.

“(Y/N)?” His chest lifted and fell heavily, while he tried to regain his breath.

“It’s okay, my dear.” She brought him to an embrace. “It was only a nightmare. You’re safe, my love. You’re safe.” She ran her fingers through his hair, a gesture that would calm him down. “It’s okay, Alex. Everything is fine. You’re home. You’re safe.”

“I thought I was back there. I really thought I was going to die.” He sniffled.

“No, darling. Look at me.” She laid her hands on his cheeks. “Everything is okay, Alex. You’re home, not back there. You’re home with me, your mother and your father.”

Her words made him calm down for a little bit. His tensed body relaxed.

“You made it alive out there, my hero.” (Y/N) said.

“I’m not a hero.” Alex mumbled.

“Yes, you are. You did everything that you could to defeat the enemy Alex. You kept fighting for justice and safety. I really desire you bravery and your strength , my dear. You faced death so many times but yet you’re alive. You never gave up. You just went on and on. And I don’t know anyone who is as selfless and willing as you are. I admire you.”

She offered him a soothing smile.

“You may not have won this war, but you gave everything that you have, my love. War does not always mean winning but also losing. One side always loses. But I’m sure the Germans soon will be defeated and the deaths of the fallen ones will be revenged.”

She put kiss on his temple.

“You’re going to heal, my love. I promise. You may not forget what you went through and I don’t expect you to do so but you will be better after a time. Not today, not tomorrow and the day after. But you will heal. And until then I’m going to support you, hold you, trying to do everything you want me to.”

Alex nodded his head, feeling far more better from the words that she spoke.

“We’re going to beat every nightmare that you have. I’m always there, lying next to you and keeping you safe.”

“I love you, (Y/N). I can’t wait to marry you.”

“I love you too and I can’t wait to marry you.” She responded. In a few weeks, they would be bonded forever and both of them were looking forward to it. With (Y/N) on his side, Alex knew that he was complete. She was his life safer. His light that guided him through darkness.

They laid down again, talking about their wedding, future children and everything that their heart desired until they fell to a deep slumber. With (Y/N) in his arms, Alex was finally at peace.

Take my breath away (a fluffy one shot)

(Bucky x Reader) (Steve x Reader)

We all know the ‘bring a fake date to the reunion’ trope, I’ve tried to use that one but do it a little differently. I hope you guys like it! 

This is a Steve and Bucky AU fic.

Story: You’ve had a huge crush on Bucky all through college but nothing ever happened between you two. You are determined to change this when you see him again at the reunion 15 years later, but another man shows up to disturb those plans.

Word count: 4110

No warning. This is mostly fluff and feels, a lot of kissing and soft touches but nothing beyond that.

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t fucking cry.

You could do this, it was just one stupid night, one stupid reunion and then you’d never have to see him again. You could go back to forgetting all about his existence and get back to your life.

Your life as a hopeless, desperate, single woman in her thirties who hadn’t been on a date for as long as she could remember. Back to table-for-one restaurant visits and girls nights out where you were the only single girl in the group.
Back to your empty apartment with no one waiting for you except your cat Noodles who didn’t really care when you dragged your ass home as long as she got fed.


You shouldn’t have come here tonight. You knew this reunion was a horrible idea, you hated these people back then and you hated them just as much now.

Well, not all of them.

Not James, you could never hate James. James Bucky Barnes had been the only one who made your college years somewhat bearable, not that he was ever aware of that fact.

You’d had a crush on him all through college and you never had the guts to tell him. He didn’t even know you existed.

Keep reading

It’s hard not to have hope for us.
So when I see you moving on, I’ll try to do the same,
And I’ll meet someone new and I’ll think,
“Maybe he’s the one. Maybe he’s the one who’s going to help me forget about you.”
But he never is
Because maybe I wasn’t meant to forget about you.
Maybe I’m going to love you for the rest of my life.
And I’m still listening to songs that remind me of you while you’re listening to new songs that you’re making new memories to
But sometimes we’ll fall back into old habits and you’ll accidentally say, “I miss you,”
And then I’ll be up all night, trying to find a hidden meaning in that meaningless phrase
But I should know that nothing’s the same. You don’t love me anymore.
But at the same time, nothing has really changed.
I’m still the lonely girl with sleepy eyes that you fell in love with so long ago
And you’re still the guy who always knew how to make me smile
So what the fuck happened?
How could you just fall out of love?
—  I could never do the same to you

I don’t post a lot on social media these days and I rarely if ever post anything personal. But I have two personal stories that I’ve never really told publicly that I feel I need to tell today.

About seven years ago there was a letter in my mailbox from the White House. To be clear, not just the White House, but from the newly elected President Of The United States. Wow, maybe this had something to do with his appearance in an issue of Amazing Spider-Man, but oddly enough it was addressed to my then 8 year old daughter. It seems that unbeknownst to her parents, my little girl mailed a letter to President Obama wishing him well and offering him advice as only an 8 year old could.

And he wrote back.

In the letter he thanked and commending her for passing along her thoughts and engaging in this wonderful thing we call Democracy. To this day I still tear up remembering the look on her face as she read that letter realizing that not only did the President Of The United States write back, but that she lived in a country in which this was possible.

Two years later I was sitting in my office at Marvel when my phone rings and a gentlemen claiming to be an assistant to the President Of The United States tells me that the POTUS would like to commission me to do a piece of art for him. Thinking it was a prank I told him I’d love to discuss it further but I was rushing off to a meeting and would gladly call him back. I took down his info, did a quick Google search and confirmed that the number on my caller I.D. was indeed coming from an office in the White House. Wait, what?!?

As it turned out a close friend of the President, Patrick Gaspard, who was the Director of the White House Office of Political Affairs, was leaving to take on his new role as the Director of the Democratic National Committee. Mr. Gaspard happened to be a HUGE Marvel Comics fan. We’re talking a full on True Believer since childhood, and President Obama thought that a perfect parting gift for his service to the administration would be a custom piece of art featuring Mr. Gaspard, himself and several Marvel heroes standing in front of the White House and for some godforsaken reason he was asking me to draw it. I of course had to get approval from the highest levels of Marvel where it was met with nothing but enthusiasm and a big thumbs up.

Now as unlikely as all of this sounds, nothing was more surreal than when I was sending off rough sketches to White House for the President’s approval and getting back notes. I’d never been more thrilled to get art revisions in my life! Once the piece was finished inked and colored by Danny Miki and Richard Isanove respectfully, I received word that the President was thrilled with the results and Mr. Gaspard was over the moon with the final framed surprise gift.

Admittedly, for those close to me that knew about the assignment, I’d make it a point to boast as often as I could that I was now officially the very first United States Sequential Artist Laureate. Quite frankly, I don’t see why that shouldn’t be a thing.

A short time later I was at San Diego Comicon signing books at the Marvel booth when someone extended a hand for me to shake. I looked up and the gentlemen said, “Do you recognize me?” How could I not, I had spent a week drawing him. It was of course Mr. Gaspard and he wanted to thank me personally for the art and to express how much Marvel had meant to him growing up and still means to him today. Patrick and I have kept in touch ever since and while his current tenure as Ambassador to South Africa is coming to an end, I’m looking forward to catching up with him when he’s back in the States and making good on my promise to bring him on to the set of Defenders or taking him to a Mets game.

And yes, I was lucky enough to meet President Obama. like I said, I don’t usually like to post things of a personal nature, but today I feel compelled to simply convey my own humble experience of having the great honor of meeting the most powerful man on the planet when he was in office. A man who was nothing but kind, appreciative and generous to me, who demonstrating a genuine love for the medium of comics and took more time than he ever needed to to express his appreciation for the work I created and the medium of comics itself. The same man who also took time to write a simple yet eloquent response in 2009 to a little girl who express love and hope, not for herself, but for her President and his future.

Godspeed President Obama, thank you for your service. I have no doubt and look forward to how you will continue to serve and change our world for the better.

Joe Quesada