anchored in my mind

you can watch a history of heartbreak unfold over and over again if you look deep enough into the cracks or think too hard during the hours that float between the days. my ceiling is spiderwebbed with fissures and fractures and i’m always awake at 3 a.m. but i choose not to. i close my eyes, anchor my mind to my body, and pray that it’s enough to keep it from falling into the rabbit hole.
—  OCEAN M., sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t
Mistakes of the Past

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warnings: angst, but fluff at the end :)

Summary: One sleepless night you find Loki in tears. And then there is a question

Note: English is not my native language, so sorry for any mistakes! I would love feedback! 

(not my gif, found it on google so credit to whoever made this!)

Loki was not easy. His mind was broken after a lot of bad had happened to him. He never trusted anyone, and if he did, it took ages before he REALLY trusted. He was miserable. It felt as if he had forgotten how it feels to be happy. But after getting to know him, he was quite an interesting person. He had so many secrets and stories. He explained how the universe worked in your darkest nights. He showed you Asgard, and comforted you when you needed it the most. He was so giving and loving, that he forgot himself.

Keep reading

Everything Fades - Pilot

A Jungkook story inspired by Kimi no Na wa (Your Name)

Summary: 

Once in a while when I wake up, I find myself crying. The dream I must’ve had, I can never quite remember. Yet, the sensation that I’ve lost something important always lingers for a long time…

Her: Just a normal day in my boring, calm li- HOLY SHIT I’M IN JEON JUNGKOOK’S BODY.

Him: Alright, let’s go to prac- WAIT WHY DO I HAVE BOOBS?

Originally posted by lacuna-matata

A/N: This is the pilot of a story I’m considering writing. What do you guys think? Should I? 


First chapter - PANIC MODE: ENGAGED

My eyelids flutter as I slowly gain consciousness, mind still foggy and body still numb.

“Hmm,” I utter.

I bring a hand to my mouth. “Huh…” I think. My voice is much hoarser than usual.

“A cold..?” I mumble.

“Get up, JK,” someone says.

“J-JK?” I ask in confusion, trying to focus on my surroundings.

“It’s already 6 am! We have to go to the interview, remember?”

“Interview?” my small voice asks.

A pillow is thrown at my face.

“Get up!”

By the time I’ve lifted myself on my elbows, the person is gone. Nonetheless, that’s not the part that worries me. What worries me is that I have no idea of where I am. There’s a feeling of déjà-vu, but I don’t actually recognize the room before you. Eyebrows furrowed, I look around with emergency.

Am I dreaming? Did I keep kidnapped? What the hell is happening…

For one, I seem to be in a bunk bed. Carefully, I move towards the little ladder and climb down. The space is quite small, and there aren’t any lights on. I let my vision adjust, then take a moment to scan the room. There’s a shelf containing books and CDs, a desk on which are scattered electronics and a few piecces of clothing on the floor.

Well…“ I tell myself. ”If this is a dream, it’s a super realistic one… Wait, is it possible to see in first person in a dream?

I pinch myself. It hurts.

Well shit.

I lick my lips.

Alright… Alright… I’ve been kidnapped.

I swallow, throat tight.

Wait… that doesn’t make sense either! I-I’m just a broke college student! Who would spend any energy to kidnap me? That’s utterly-

“Jungkook-ah! ” a voice calls, interrupting my train of thoughts. “Quit sleeping! Come out already!”

“…Jungkook-ah?” I breathe.

And then it hits me.

“Th-that’s not my voice?!” I say, panic creeping into my words. “Holy shit.”

I literally slap myself in the face.

“THAT’S NOT MY FACE!” I cry out.

“What?” a few distant voices say.

“Uh…” I murmur, growing frantic. “NOTHING!” I shout back.

Motionless, I try to calm my racing heart. There’s noise outside the room, and I can tell there are many people walking around.

I bring a hand to my head, but flinch away when my fingers don’t meet the familiar texture of my relatively long hair.

I need to find a mirror… or a cellphone… or anything..!

With that thought anchored in my mind, I push the door open.

“Finally,” a voice says. “Jin-hyung was starting to get mad.”

I turn to the speaker.

It’s…

It’s Park Jimin.

…Park… Jimin…

PARK FUCKING JIMIN.

what.

He frowns, and my soul has pretty much left my body. “You seem disoriented…” he comments gently. “Did you have a bad dream?”

I laugh nervously, letting my gaze pry away from the magnificent piece of art standing a few feet before me. That’s when I spot Min Yoongi looking down at his cellphone, and, as my brain shuts down, I proceed to collapse to the ground with a great thump.


> Next chapter 🌸

Album #1

Album that reminds me of Dark, #1: Panic! at the Disco’s “Vices & Virtues”.

Album Playlist Link: (x)

Explanation: So, the first thing that comes to mind for me is the pure ‘aesthetic’ of the album. The classy / pop / sultry sound and poetic lyrics just give me his vibe. (I could on about the strings for ages but I will spear your time.) 

But the style of it all! The way the music flows with such a niche of personality. It’s just so fitting of Dark! You feel like withered black rose petals are left in a trial. You can just feel the darker undertones under the idea of romance.

Lyrical Examples:

1) The Ballad of Mona Lisa (x)

“A lonely speaker in a conversation, her words are swimming through his ears again. There’s nothing wrong with just a taste of what you paid for.” 

– “Say what you mean, tell me I’m right. And let the sun rain down on me. Give me a sign, I want to believe.”

– “He senses something, call it desperation. Another dollar, another day
And if she had the proper words to say, she would tell him; but she’d have nothing left to sell him.”

“I’d pay to see you frown.”


2) Let’s Kill Tonight (x)

– “If I retreat words, wars, and symphonies. Make room - we’re taking over here. You’re the galantine. Cold and alone - it suits you well. Won’t find me perching here again.”

– “May your feet serve you well, and the rest be sent to Hell! Where they always have belonged.”

– “Cold hearts brew colder songs.”

– “Fate will play us out, with a song of pure romance. Stomp your feet and clap your hands.”


3) Hurricane (x)

– “Are you worth your weight in gold? ‘Cause you’re behind my eyelids when I am all alone.”

– “Give me peace. Oh, kiss me!“

– “You’ll dance to anything! You’ll dance to anything!!”

– “Oh, I confess, I confess. In a room where I am blessed.”

– “And I believe that half the time, I am a wolf among the sheep gnawing at the wool over my eyes.”

– “Fix me or just conflict me, 'cause I’ll take anything!”


4) Memories (x)

– “When July became December their affection fought the cold. But they couldn’t quite remember what inspired them to go.”

– “And it was beautifully depressing, like a street car named Desire. They were fighting for their love that started growing tired.”

– “Then the smile had finally faded from the apple of their eye.”


5) Trade Mistakes (x)

– “Placing a smile at the perfect event gracing your skin with the side of my hand. If I ever leave I could learn to miss you but “Sentimental Boy” is my nom de plume.”

– “Let me save you, hold this rope and I’ll pull you in.”

– “I may never sleep tonight as long as you’re still burning bright. If I could trade mistakes for sheep count me away before you sleep. I’ll stay awake 'til I trade my mistakes or they fade away.”

– “I am an anchor, sinking her.”


6) Ready to Go [Get Me Out of My Mind] (x)

– “You’ve got these little things that you’ve been running from. You either love them or I guess you don’t. You’re such a pretty thing, to be running from anyone. A vision with nowhere to go.” 

– “I think I’m ready, I think. I know I’m ready, I know.”


7) Always (x)

– “When the world gets too heavy put it on my back, I will be your levy.”

– “I am a fly that is trapped in a web. But I am thinking that my spider’s dead.”

– “Oh, the castle’s under siege but the sign outside says, ‘Leave me alone’.”


8) The Calendar (x)

– “Only for you. Only for you.”

– “They said ‘If you don’t let it out you’re gonna let it eat you away’. I’d rather be a cannibal, baby; animals like me don’t talk anyway.”

– “Put another X on the calendar summer’s on its deathbed.”

– “And I meant everything I said that night, I will come back to life. The world may call it a second chance. But when I came back it was more of a relapse.”


9) Sarah Smiles (x)

– “I was fine, just a guy living on my own, waiting for the sky to fall. Then you called and changed it all, doll. Velvet lips and the eyes to pull me in, we both know you’d already win. Mm, you’re original sin.”

– “Does she know that my destiny lies with her? Oh, Sarah, are you saving me?”

– “You fooled me once with your eyes now, honey. You fooled me twice with your lies.”


10) Nearly Witches [Ever Since We Met…] (x)

Mod: The whole fucking song, just the whole song. I removed most of my choices as it was the entire song. I keep the foremost Dark like.

– “My wing tips waltz across naive wood floors, they creak innocently down the stairs.”

– “My percussive feet serve cobweb headaches.”

– “Here I am composing a burlesque out of where they rest their necks. Sunken in their splintered cradles and ramshackle heads. They asked for it.”

– “You have set your heart on haunting me forever. From the start it’s never silent.”


11) Kaleidoscope Eyes (x)

– “I am a disappearing act done poorly but if I ever get it right, you will miss me sorely. I look like the cat that just ate the canary, coughing up feathers. There is a “get out of jail” card if I can think of something clever.”

– “I plead the fifth on all of this.”

– “My emerald city, downtown girl. In the sickness of you, I am just a white blood cell fighting like hell for you.”

– “Oh, I am just a crook, with no intent or stash, pour gasoline on the vault just to burn the cash. I swear to God, I would never heard a better sound coming out then when you are whimpering my name from your mouth.”

– “I have got an insatiable desire for your insides. It is undeniable, I will conspire and pull against your body tonight.”


12) Stall Me (x)

– “Fall to your knees and kiss the ring.”

– “A dark room in the wallflower garden of the party.”

– “You gave up on you and I gave up on me. Well, LOVE came along and said, “Leave them be”.”


13) Oh Glory [Demo] (x)

– “I can only hope it is true enough that every little thing I do for love. Redeems me from the moments I deem worthy of the worst things that I have done.”

– “Everything I promised everyone I would be; well I just ain’t.”

– “Lately it seems like everybody is sick everybody is dying … and only my heart knows my head is lying, lying.”

– “Take a breath to notice I am between every little piece of thread and memories that constitute your dreams.”


14) I Wanna Be Free (x)

– “The beat goes dry, and the spirit dies.”

– “Everything seems to be estranged when you’re alone.”


15) Turn Off the Lights (x)

– “I got so sick of being on my own now the devil will not leave me alone.”

– “Our consciences are always so much heavier than our egos.”

– “So I’m taking every chance I got, like the man I know I’m not.”

– “I need a little sympathy to disarm my insecurities.”

– “So shoot a star on the boulevard tonight.”

– “Turn off the lights, turn out the lights. Turn on the show for me tonight.”


16) Bittersweet (x)

– “I’m just setting, I’m just setting a trap.”

– “So many places that you might say I’ve seen it all.”

– “Everything I do is bittersweet. You could tell me secrets that I’ll probably repeat. I’m not trying to hurt you, I just love to speak.”

– “All that hate is gonna burn you up, it keeps me warm at night.”

“It’s such a mystery why you’re here (but I can’t live without you).”

The Signs as Wild World by Bastille
  • ARIES: Power // Aim, throw your best shot right at me, 'cause pain, I can take it easily, did you really think I'd fall to my knees, just to pray for some sweet simplicity
  • TAURUS: Fake It // Don't turn over, turn over the page, we should rip it straight out, then let's try our very best to fake it
  • GEMINI: Two Evils // I'm the lesser of two evils, or am I just tricking myself nice? If I'm the lesser of two evils, who's this man, who's this act I hide behind?
  • CANCER: Warmth // So come on, let's forget the emotion, tie the blinkers on, hold both hands right over my eyes, deafen me with music
  • LEO: Glory // And way down here upon the ground, when we're lying in the dirt, there's no looking up for heaven
  • VIRGO: Campus // Oh it must be lonely knowing what you know, man it must be lonely keeping it on the low
  • LIBRA: Shame // I can see a change, I can see a change in you, I see it coursing through your veins
  • SCORPIO: Send Them Off! // I've got demons running 'round in my head, and they feed on insecurities I have, won't you lay your healing hands on my chest,let your ritual clean
  • SAGITTARIUS: Lethargy // But these itchy feet for a change of scene, do anything to escape it, get up, get up, pressure, pressure, run away as fast as you can go
  • CAPRICORN: The Anchor // Bring me some hope by wandering into my mind, something to hold on to morning noon day and night
  • AQUARIUS: Snakes // I know, I know, I know it's not the right way to go, but I pray for the ground to swallow me whole
  • PISCES: Winter of Our Youth // I let myself bathe in the past for way way way too long, and now it seems I've drunk too much to give you what you want

anonymous asked:

I'll be surprised if anyone hasn't asked Diana why Claire continues to Franks wedding ring after she returns to Jamie in Voyager? If there's an explanation, I'd love to read it, If not any ideas?

Hi Anon - here’s what I wrote in a post on this exact same topic a while back:

I think for a number of reasons:

Guilt - for leaving Frank for Jamie, and not giving Frank all of her heart when Jamie sent her back to him

Love - she *did* love him, when she was younger - and I think even though their marriage was strained after she returned, she still loved him in certain ways. Or at least loved the idea of what their marriage had been

Habit - like any piece of jewelry, it becomes a part of you - and not wearing it makes you feel unsettled

Value - gold is valuable - it’s portable wealth - it’s the ultimate back-up plan (remember when Jamie asked/ordered Claire to give him the ring as collateral in a card game in The Fiery Cross)

It’s Claire’s only physical link to the 20th century - her touchstone, or physical anchor, to that time. In my mind, this is the most important reason - it’s her constant reminder that she really did come from another time - that she really wasn’t meant to be in the 18th century. Just like how Jamie’s ring was her only physical link to the 18th century, in the years after she returned.


And here’s what Diana Gabaldon has said about it (from the first Outlandish Companion, published in 1999):

Claire has history with Frank—a lot of history, and very mixed, in terms of joy and pain. He was her first love, her first husband, and when she married him, she did so with the full intention of being married to him for life. She is, after all, a very loyal and honest person. For her to have “left” him and chosen to stay with Jamie was an act of betrayal, and she knows it. Frank did nothing wrong; his only “crime” was not to be Jamie…

So this is a difficult, complex relationship. The difficulties and guilts don’t mean that there is nothing of value between them. The love they once had for each other is still there, augmented and supported by their united feelings for Brianna…If Claire were capable of simply walking away from this sort of history and feeling, abandoning a huge piece of her life and identity, just because she was now in a different place… well, she wouldn’t be capable of loving Jamie in the whole-hearted way that she does. She wouldn’t be a whole person. As it is, she’s now relieved of the guilt of her flawed relationship with Frank, and free to treasure the memory of its good moments. Jamie, being the whole-hearted person he is, is aware of this, and wants her to know that he’s able to accept the knowledge of what she shared with another man—the one thing Frank couldn’t do.

…For her to refuse Frank’s ring, and essentially reject all he was, to deny the value of thirty years of a complex but valuable relationship—well, that would be both dishonest and petty. And neither Claire nor Jamie is small in mind or heart.

In his arms I find my peace,
From these thoughts that torture me,
These fears that begin to cease,
Cease to grow and cease to be,
The moment that I sense he’s here,
When he comforts me with his touch.
Within seconds my mind gets clear,
He’s my anchor and my crutch.
Though this world has tortured him,
Broke his soul and broke his back.
He’s still got mine, though his days are dim and grim.
—  “Hamoud” by @ambiguitiesromanticized
something in the way //

i’ve been dreaming of flying this week
of bees, and heavy weather.
i’ve spent
all my time and energy
running and running away
or else thinking
old tired ideas like, i wonder
if i’m enough (though for you or for me, i don’t know.)
thoughts i don’t even really own,
or else we all do, together.

some days my lustre dulls and even
poetry feels impossible:
today is not for writing, not for the trails in the hills
(for philosophy perhaps but
only if the inchoate kind; give me
no doctrines or treatises).
dust hangs still in the sunlight
through my window, and i am
half convinced that time has stopped, that i couldn’t touch you
if i tried

what if i just unspooled the thread
that anchors my mind to itself?
the kite that i am, with no strings
and my endless thermal thoughts
might forever fly,
might never return to find

it is enough, and tomorrow
always dawns -

-h.b.

anonymous asked:

Hey! I'm doing a new playlist and I wanna know which songs you advices me to listen to ??? Tks!

Hii of course…

- Neck Deep // Serpents and December
- The Wonder Years // Cardinals
- La Dispute // Nobody, Not even the rain
- Architects // Unbeliever and Learn to Live
- A Day To Remember // Sometimes you’re the hammer, sometimes you’re the nail
- Citizen // The Summer and Sleep
- Dangerkids // Waking Up
- Defeater // The Red, White and Blues and I don’t mind
- For All Those Sleeping // Follow my voice
- Light Your Anchor // Buried In My Mind
- More Than Life // Do You Remember
- Real Friends // Last Night In My Car
- The Story So Far // Quicksand
- Silverstein // A Better Place
- Simple Plan // Welcome To My Life =)
- Touche Amore // Pathfinder and ~

… Hope that’s enough for a Part 1 =)

i think about ava, a 12-year old kid i met at javits center on election night, every single day. she was there with her family to see the first woman president elected. just before the news on the jumbotron outside the center hit its tipping point and the energy in the crowd changed to one of abject loss, she broke down sobbing. it’s her, crying in front of me with the news - baffled anchors attempting to understand what was happening - playing behind her that crosses my mind every day. she knew before anyone else did. before anyone else could believe it. and i think she cried because she also knew, to a far greater degree than any of the adults in the crowd could have imagined, just how far-reaching the negative impact of that election would have on america. not even old enough to vote until 2024 and yet still stunningly aware of the catastrophe that lies ahead. i think about her every day. she knew before any of us could believe it. she felt the first, nearly imperceptible shift in the foundations of this country and cried out in pure anguish before anyone else - even the news anchors - knew there was something wrong. i wonder how many avas had their hearts shattered that night. how many more have fallen to their knees in pain and shock since that night. how many more will fall.

and how long will it take us to see it.

***the photo above was taken with permission from ava and her parents, who also gave me permission to post it online. the selfie came after i tried to remind her that we should use this as an opportunity to come together and that we shouldn’t let the fear and terror break us. i suggested we take a selfie because i thought it’d help her feel that kinship and the warmth and calming strength that comes from togetherness. i can only hope it worked.***

Anchor - Brett Talbot Imagine

Request: Can you do a brett imagine where y/n is brett’s anchor?

Word count: 590+

Status: Edited


“And that’s why I didn’t do my homework yesterday,” Stiles spoke.

He was leaned against the locker two down from yours, waiting for you to finish putting your stuff up so that the two of you could head out to the lacrosse field to relax.

“Mhmm,” you nodded, slipping your biology book into your locker. “And that’s the excuse you’re gonna tell your teacher?”

“Yep, I just figured telling her I was dealing with an I.E.D beta who was trying to maul me would’ve been a bit too—”

“Hey.”

Yours and Stiles’ attention focused on the newest voice in the conversation who came from the left of you.

You shut your locker. “Brett? What are you doing here?”

He moved to stand in front of you, softly placing his hand on your forearms. You were shocked by how close he was standing; you didn’t really know each other, and you barely considered him a friend. His breath was slow and deep and it looked like he was trying to calm himself down.

“I…um, I need to talk to you.”

“Okay…” you trailed off.

His eyes trailed over to Stiles who was listening intently. “Alone.”

You looked back at Stiles who shrugged his shoulders and walked away.

“There’s an old classroom down the hall that we can talk in if—”

“Great,” he cut you off, grabbing your hand and tugging you down the hallway to Ms. Blake’s old classroom.

He shut the door behind you, finally let go of your hand, and moved to lean on one of the many desks in the classroom except he didn’t take his eyes off of you.

You set your books and your bag down and shifted uncomfortably.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” you blushed, “I thought you wanted to talk to me?”

“I do—I just—can I hug you?” he rushed out.

Your eyebrows pushed together in confusion. “Uh, sure.”

Brett pushed away from the desk and walk over to you. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him in what was much more than a friendly hug.

You could hear him taking slow, deep breaths as he rested his chin on top of your head. You stood with your arms loosely by your side because you couldn’t decide if should hug him back or stand there while he basically cuddled you.

After a while, you finally gave him a small pat on the back before prying yourself away from him.

“Do you wanna explain what just happened?” you asked.

Brett sighed and raked his fingers through his hair.

“You may not know this, but you’re really popular and I mean really popular,” he paused to think over his words and continued. “So I was in the locker room this morning and this guy was talking about how it’d be a ‘real score’ if he got to bang you.”

“Yeah…”

“And—and I lost it. I went to tell him off and I wolfed out in front of him.”

“What?” you shouted. “W-what about your anchor? Why didn’t you think of that?”

“That’s the thing! You’re my anchor, and every time I tried to think of you, my mind went back to those things he was saying about you and it only made me angrier.”

Your mouth was completely open at that point, but Brett carried on.

“That’s why I came here. I was hoping seeing you would help,” he finished awkwardly.

“S-so I’m your anchor?” Brett nodded. A smirk found its way onto your lips. “Well I am pretty awesome.”

Always

There’s a pull under his breastbone. A tugging, but it’s not - it’s not coming from him, but it doesn’t feel foreign either. Derek concentrates on the sensation, the feeling, trying to pinpoint how and why and where this is coming from. 

Thinking, he realizes that this isn’t the first time he’s felt this sort of phantom feeling. A phantom (At this point it can’t be defined as phantom for how clear it feels. It’s been getting sharper for a while…) feeling that’s never felt intrusive. The first time it happened - he doesn’t remember how long ago - it was a warming sensation in his abdomen, a gentle comfort somehow. It was odd, not because he was clearly feeling something that didn’t originate from him, but because it felt - it felt good. It felt right

And that was that, really. It didn’t even happen often, nor did there seem to be a pattern behind what he felt, what he experienced. It was kind of random… Random. 

Sporadic.

Derek blinks and looks up at the nearly full moon that’s casting silver light through the canopy of trees in the preserve. He breathes in deep, letting the cool air pass through and clear his thoughts. Of course. Of course. 

Stiles.

Derek’s known that Stiles has been, is his anchor and has been for some time now. He wasn’t surprised either, not with everything they’ve been through. Even when they couldn’t stand each other, they always came back didn’t they? Stiles always came back for him. Always. 

It was so easy to accept Stiles as his anchor. If Derek’s being honest with himself, this is probably the strongest connection he’s ever felt, but for reasons he’s never quite allowed himself to fully analyze. And it seems he’s not the only one. 

Derek remembers growing up being able to feel flashes and flickers of emotions from his pack, his first anchor. His mother had told him when he’d asked about it, that when there are strong feelings on both ends, a bond is formed. That made sense to Derek because his family is his pack, but. But shouldn’t he feel more than fleeting emotions, something more solid? His mother had just smiled, an understanding tilt to her lips, a mischievous glint to her eyes. “Yes, when you find the right one.”

“The right one, what?”

“Your mate.”

At 16, Derek thought he’d found his mate in a much older woman, despite never feeling any sort connection he’d grown up knowing, what his mother had taught him. But if he believed hard enough, waited, that could change couldn’t it? It had to because she loved him, didn’t she? Oh, she loved, but her love was a saturated hate that was only sated through death. Only humans could live in her world. There was no room for something more

Derek clenches his jaw and blows out a sharp breath through his nose. The leaves barely crunch underneath his feet, quick and light, weaving through familiar trees. He continues running, just focusing on his breathing for a few minutes.

…Even at their first encounter, Derek had felt something, a pull towards Stiles, which he’d largely ignored, too caught up in new and old grief, anger that was so consuming for so long. 

Now, Derek can’t even pinpoint when he’d let Stiles in. Perhaps he’d already had, that day in the woods without realizing it. Stiles, he has a way of getting under peoples skin without always meaning to. 

At the start, Derek would have sneered at the idea of feeling anything for a flailing, spastic, too honest boy that’s always there. A boy that hasn’t been a boy in a long time, for many reasons. Stiles is - Stiles makes sense to him, as crazy as that may sound to others. Stiles is comforting and damnit, Stiles is home

Derek puffs out a breath of laughter, at himself and at Stiles. They’ve been circling, circling, circling for so long and it’s ridiculous at this point. For a while, they just weren’t ready and that’s okay. They’ve both grown, needed to grow for themselves and for others; family, friends, pack. But now? 

Derek has seen the side glances, the too long eye contact, the idle rubbing of long fingers on a pale collarbone, in the same spot Derek felt tonight. And Stiles is too smart to not figure it out as well, he’s too observant, always has been. 

Through the peak of trees, Derek can see a faint light from a second floor bedroom window. Stiles is either still up or has fallen asleep in some uncomfortable position God knows where. Without thinking about it, Derek had been heading in that direction, an unconscious thought. And how long has he been doing that? Always pointed north isn’t he, always pointed towards his anchor. 

His mate. 

I'll Be Your Anchor

requested: Could you write a Teen Wolf imagine where the reader, who’s had depression for years, attempts suicide, but fails and lives, and the whole pack race to the hospital ones they hear what happened. I’m feeling down and just want a story to relate to. Could you make a bit of reader x Stiles.

rated: M warnings: depression mentions, suicide attempts and mentions, triggers, etc. You lay motionless on the couch, eyes glued to the roof. Not a thought crossed your mind, it was the same empty feeling. Second by second, day by day, year by year.. the same damn feeling every time. It felt as if it wasn’t you who was getting stronger and stronger everyday.. but the weakness. You got up to look at the clock, displaying 6:23 P.M. no one was going to be home for hours. You walked towards the kitchen to try to fix something to eat, not even opening the fridge. Suddenly.. you caught a pill bottle in the corner of your eye on the microwave top. Tears flowed from your eyes and the worst took over your mind. You grabbed the bottle struggling to open it, you clamped your hand on the cap with great force twisting and turning. Frustrated and angry at the stubborn cap. It pops open and flies across the floor and different colored pills scattered everywhere. You reach for a handful, tears falling from your face. All you wanted was for the pain to end. All of the sudden, you heard the alarm chime.. someone opened the front door. “Y/N? I decided to bring some food for yo–” you hear the familiar voice say. “Y/N?” the voice grows with concern, “Y/N, where are you??” You see Stiles from around the corner, running towards you, “Y/N.. NO STOP. DON’T” He slaps the pills away from your hand and pulls you into a warm embrace with your head on his chest. You cry uncontrollably, “I don’t want to– I don’t I don’t I don’t.” Stiles holds you tighter, “Y/N, shh.. shh.. it’s okay.” His shirt was wet from your tears but he didn’t seem to care at all. He strokes his fingers through your hair as your crying continues then lifts you up bridal style, “I’m going to get you help, I’ll take care of you, okay? I promise.” He buckles you in the passenger seat of his jeep, putting his jacket over you. He then enters the nearest hospital in his GPS and takes off. You’re half asleep at the moment and hear bits of Stiles talking to Scott on the phone, “Y/N attempted. I’m taking her to the hospital. Okay, see you there.” You feel Stiles stroke the top of your hand. Minutes later, you see him open the passenger door and carry you into the hospital. Your eyelids flutter to reveal not your living room ceiling but a hospital room ceiling. Your memory was vague of everything that happened. You turn your head to the right to see an IV in your arm. Then you feel a hand on your cheek, and turn to see Stiles smiling with tired eyes then looks behind him, “She’s awake.” Scott walks up next to him and rubs your forearm, “Hey Y/N, glad you’re okay.” Malia walks up to the other side of the hospital bed, tucking a loose lock of your hair behind your ear, happy her friend was alive. Then, Lydia and Kira slip through the door, “Got the take-out.” In Lydia’s other hand was a gift basket with your favorite snacks. She sets everything on the counter and looks over her shoulder smiling at you. “Aw Lydia.. Kira, you guys didn’t have to do that.” you say softly. “It was no biggie, besides their your favorite.” Kira says. “Has everyone eaten?” Lydia asks. “Stiles hasn’t” Scott says. “I’m fine, it’s okay.” Stiles says “Stiles, you need to eat something.. you haven’t eaten all day.” Malia interrupts. “C'mon, i’ll go with you. The girls are staying here with Y/N” Scott says. Stiles nods his head and follows Scott out the door. “Stiles hasn’t left the side of your bed for anything since you got here.” Malia tells you. You look at her puzzled, “Really?” She nods her head. “You know, Y/N.. he really cares about you.. you’re special to him. He’s different about you.” Lydia says. The doctor walks in to check on you and insisted on more rest. Kira handed you one of the snacks from the gift basket before you rested again. “Who’s staying overnight?” Malia asks. “i’m pretty sure Stiles says he would.. I wish I could but I have 4 exams tomorrow.” Lydia says. You nodded your head, fine with whoever stayed. You felt safe with all of them. Soon, you drifted off to sleep again. You wake up, tired as hell, rubbing your eyes to focus on the clock which displayed 5 AM. You look over to the side to see.. of course.. Stiles Stilinski. He had pulled a chair right next to your bed and fell asleep, his head resting on the side of your bed. A soft side smile forms across your face. You plant a kiss on his cheek thankful for his never ending care and love. Suddenly, he opens his eyes and starts to blush.. “Well Good Morning, Y/N” He strokes the side of your face, “How are you feeling, love?” “Alright.” you say softly. Stiles then reaches for your free hand, holding it tight, “Y/N, I want you to know something important.. I love you and never ever ever want to lose you. I will go out of my mind if I do. I’ll be your anchor and do everything in my power to help you fight this and get through this.. I know you can” “I love you too.” He pecks his soft lips on your forehead as you slowly drift off to sleep again.