Over the past few nights I’ve had some pretty abstract if not ridiculous conversations with a person I met recently.
He asks me many questions, but it’s in a strange sort of sense. He may be an INFJ, because he explained that he pretty much knew who I was, but wanted to hear it in my own words. (For whatever reason…)
His explanation of who he was to me was this:
He knows so much that it’s exhausting, and he gives to other people without a second thought because he has everything already.
I can only infer that he is an infj. I get gut feelings about people. I tend to know if there is something “off” about them, even if it’s minor. Strong gut feelings let me know that they should be avoided. But with him, I didn’t sense anything like that.
I’m sitting there, asking him question after question about himself and why he gives so much.
He also told me that money corrupts, which more often than not has proven true.
He explained to me what he saw through his eyes, and said it matter of factly. He asked me what I saw aswell. I explained to him my perspective, and he said that he sees that aswell, but on much clearer, more abstract detail, color, everything. So basically, in theory, he sees and feels everything exactly how it is, which is apparently more than I could imagine in my head. He’s likely right. I could understand clearly where he was coming from, but I couldn’t empathize or experience any of it.
It’s strange. When people lie to me, I know nearly 100% of the time.
Yet when people tell me the truth, I tend to not believe it, or question to fuck out of it.
I can’t say he is lying, yet I don’t know if I believe him, and that generally means someone is being honest with me when I can’t tell that they are and/or don’t get a shitty gut feeling. Zzz.
We discussed mbti for quite some time, and discussed a theory. My theory is that if the types go in order, and reincarnation is actually a thing, that ESFP are likely the youngest of people, and INFJ are the oldest.
Once again in theory it correlates as much as one can infer from unproven information. ESFP’S from what I’ve observed are like carefree kids that literally live for fun and excitement. Almost as if they’re just starting out life and want to experience everything or as much as they can.
INFJ from what I can analyze, are almost like… gods. In a sense. Except they don’t seem to be completely aware of it. It’s like they experience everything to the highest potential possible, but don’t exactly know where they came from. They just tend to know what they are, and are open to certain people about it, but not in a “I’m so awesome” set of way. In a “yeah, I’ve known for a while” sort of way.
I plan on going into psychology and making a career out of my passion to learn and know everything I possibly can.
Gaining knowledge to me is everything. I just observe, analyze, and perceive seemingly endless outcomes to whatever interests me, with rare occasions of just being perplexed and wanting to know whether it intrigues me or not.
/insert change of subject matter
Studies pertaining to “intellectually gifted” children seem to range from a series of positive and negative signs. Bizarrely enough, children who only make high grades in the subject matter that interest them, and ones that seem to be paying little attention, tend to surpass the intellectual capacity of other students who function “normally” as society calls it. It is often depicted as stupidity, being unorganized, rebellious, or no desire to achieve anything.
School was a load of insufferable bullshit to me. I learned what I wanted to learn, and grasped it to an extreme that perplexed other students and teachers.
I questioned everything, and demanded an analysis (in a reserved sense) of why or how something was. Oftentimes I would ask questions about stuff I cared very little about, just to have the information.
I believe I have Negative symptomatic ADHD, where my energy is only exerted into subjects that appeal to me, and cause me to think outside the box to one’s maximum potential.
However, I won’t bother on subjects that either A) Aren’t able to be analyzed, perceived, or broken down, or B) Multiple ways of doing something but reaching the same outcome. Slapping something in a book or on the wipe board that has no depth or thought process to it generally means very little to me if anything at all.
Oftentimes you would find me correcting the teachers.
My cognitive functions clash constantly.
Mathematics perplexes to no end.
(I’m still relatively pathetic at it)
Thinking about how an answer is reached seems to correlate. However, when multiple ways are shown to do the same action, it’s pointless to me.
This only applies to me in the mathematical field. Technical and mathematical subjects to me don’t require multiple instances. If a way works, then continue it.
The stereotype that INTP’S are math wizzes is a load of shit. I’m sure some of them are, of course. But what about the abstract INTP’S like myself? I guess we don’t exist?
Thoughts are beginning to simmer down a bit… at last.
Long story short, I performed pathetically in school because I never developed as I should have.
I will dispell a common myth right here and now.
Online sources (we can only hope they’re not full of shit) warn that if a child with a surpassing IQ develops incorrectly, that they fail to ever develop properly, and more often than not dismiss their own intelligence due to other children and adults not understanding them.
I developed incorrecty, on a massively incalculable level.
Yet, I can’t say that it’s stopped me.
And the only reason I can think of… is because my love for knowledge and endless curiosity never died.
I refuse to let myself rot in the ground when there are still thousands of subjects and places worth exploring and explaining.
I would say in these past week few weeks, I’ve been more or less supporting myself in the way my parents should have done.
If I’m laying here listing my thoughts out in this fashion, then I must be doing something right. (or maybe not)
About to pass out, thanks in advance to anyone who reads this!