otp: Klamille. i’m still mad about it. will forever be mad about it. its fuck Juniper Plank and Michaelango Nardouchebag for life.
favourite canon pairing: Klamille, Original Recipe Kolvina, Josh x Aiden most if not all of the dynamics in S2 tbh.
worst pairing ever: Camille and Davina x being dead for no reason. and Nate Buzzlightyear!Kol x being alive for no reason. Also dude from Veronica Mars….WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE BRO?
guilty pleasure pairing: so many. i mean the ‘cesty ships?? which go w/o saying tbh and i also i gotta add in there Marcel x Sharman’s Kol. they had this intense sexual chemistry that honestly had a young negress SHOOKED FOR JESUS.
a pairing you want to see more:
after they killed off my girlies so unceremoniously? this show’s ratings x continuing to plummet
that pairing everyone likes but you’re like “lol no”: Kl_yl_y. i ???? honestly??? don’t??? see??? it???? and i actually really love them estranged monster parents who can’t stand each other but try to do best by their daughter. but in terms of shipping, i don’t see the push-pull dynamic their shippers keep harping on?
like the push-pull comes from them literally out and out BRAWLING over Hope and the fucked up stuff Klaus would do. their ~tension~ is not born out of romantic love or even sexual attraction. at least none i can see? i mean to each their own but Klaus and Hayley almost read more like bro and sis than he and Bex. meaning that it reads purely platonic to me. (unlike KlausxBex)
favorite non-romantic pair: Marcel x Davina. Vincent x Cams. Josh x Davina. I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW I TYPED THOSE SHIPS WITHOUT COLLAPSING IN A FIT OF SOBS. OH WAIT-
Okay but instead of shipping the grumpy one with the cinnamon roll, imagine shipping two grumpy ones. Just being salty about fucking everything together all the time. Having the same salty philosophy on life and snickering at other people’s idiocy 24/7.
We specifically bought this mini-van instead of a car because it has three seats in the font but now all we do is argue about who gets to sit in the middle
Our group chat is mostly just Person A serenading the both of us with song lyrics and dirty messages oh my god this fucking dork…oh shit now I’m kinda aroused one of you fuckers meet me for lunch asap
We all tried to spit our toothpaste in the sink at the same time and ended up banging our heads together and communicating in unintelligible noises due to having too much fucking toothpaste in our mouths oh my god will one you just spit first I’m so tired I want to go to bed
Person A always sleeps in the middle because they are the smallest but that also means that sometimes they end up like a whole half of the way down the bed by morning and more than once now we’ve both been terrified we accidentally suffocated them in the night
Person B is literally so fucking ticklish and we tickle-attack them so often that we think they might actually secretly hate us and have plans to leave us
parents are super supportive of our relationship which is really nice
but every year your mom knits us three matching Christmas sweaters and
we have no choice but to wear them and now the entire extended family
knows we’re all together and it can get kinda awkward at times but oh
well I love you both so much, hey Person A show us your childhood
I SWEAR I HAVEN’T WORN A PAIR OF MY OWN
UNDERWEAR IN OVER A YEAR THERE IS JUST SO MUCH FUCKING UNDERWEAR IN THIS
You and I were innocently making out
but then I got aroused and so did you but we knew Person C would be
home literally any minute so we just decided to wait for them at which
point they walked through the door and took one look at our faces and
realized exactly what was going on before sighing at us disappointingly
and taking off their shirt
You two are such
trouble-makers and I am literally cleaning up after you 24/7 please be
adults for like one second and no both of you simultaneously smothering
me in neck kisses isn’t going to make me less mad….but carry on anyways
Hawkeye is sent by S.H.I.E.L.D. to eliminate the infamous Black Widow. This sets in motion a series of run-ins and fights between the two highly skilled agents, each unable to get the upper hand on the other. Their game of cat-and-mouse eventually develops into a grudging mutual respect and soon, Hawkeye is having doubts about the orders of his mission as he finds himself unable to take the shot when presented with the opportunity.
some AUs i'll never write but definitely want to read
‘we used to be in a band but you left bc you despise the music industry now we’re world-famous i wrote a song abt missing you i hope you get lonely when you hear it on the radio bc THAT’S HOW YOU MAKE ME FEEL YOU ASSHOLE’ AU
‘we’re new roommates and someone told you i’m at the hospital you panic and then you remember i work at a hospital’ AU
'you are a selfish, parasitic, amoral person who has done unforgivable things why did you give up your life to save mine’ AU
‘you live across the hall and you’re in your underwear every time you open the door it’s so frustrating stOP SMILING OH GOD I CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT YOU IN THE EYES’ AU
'we were childhood best friends who meet again and have to work together we used to be v close and i actually lov– hey why don’t you remember me at all did you get amnesia or something’ AU
'you’re an atheist and im a conservative gay catholic you’ve never been a jerk abt my faith and u even wait for me outside the church every sunday i really appreciate it’ AU
‘we’re both travelers and i hate how you speak the native language so well where are you staying btw do u want to make out’ AU
‘it’s raining hard and i only have my designer coat then you, a savage person in a truck, came along and now i’m soaking wet do you know how much this coat costs’ AU
‘who am i??? what happened?? ??? well mate, i’m just a loyal bar patron and a total stranger whom you kissed and asked if i wanted to see your butt last night’ AU
'i had a terrible day and i’m on the bus stuck in heavy traffic you’re waiting for your ride outside and we have a staring contest then u blink and smile like the big dork that u are i cant believe i smiled back’ AU