an open letter to my self

Never will I forget
the times we both shared
as we gaze the perfect sunset
sharing love and tender care.

Those cheesy late night talks,
all those slow but romantic walks.
Those long and meaningful letters
have never failed to give me shivers.

But destiny was never on our side,
and your love suddenly died.
I consoled my broken heart,
shedding tears as we part.

My heart was left astray;
I was filled with self-disdain
For you utterly walked away,
leaving me hanging and in great pain.

How could you hurt someone
after all the efforts she has done?
How could you be so heartless
to the one whose love was relentless?

You splintered my heart open,
you made me cry often.
But though you tattered me into pieces,
you’re still part of my 11:11 wishes.

My friends, we cannot continue only loving the ones who look like us, who talk like us, who believe what we believe, and act like we act. We must reach across the aisle with love for the very people we disagree with. Love your enemy and pray for those who persecute you. Let us live a life worthy of the life-giving self-sacrificial love we have been given
—  Jon Foreman - An Open Letter To The American Church (x)
Why I hate LGBTQIA+

Why we should use SAGA (Sexuality And Gender Acceptance) as the new term for the LGBTQIA+ community:

- It includes everyone without having a hundred letters in the acronym.

- Saga means “a long story of heroic achievement” which is an excellent way to describe the movement.

- It sounds cool

It’s around that time of year when kids start getting letters of being waitlisted, rejection and deferment. Just wanted to say hang in there– not everyone’s collegiate path is a strict linear progression. Taking gap years, transferring, going to your ‘B’or ‘C’ school, etc– they’re all completely valid ways to self-discovery and getting to where you want to be. From my own experience, things have a way of working out in the weirdest ways. Just keep your head up & mind open and don’t give up. 

Let’s tell the truth to people. When people ask, ‘How are you?’ have the nerve sometimes to answer truthfully. You must know, however, that people will start avoiding you because, they, too, have knees that pain them and heads that hurt and they don’t want to know about yours. But think of it this way: If people avoid you, you will have more time to meditate and do fine research on a cure for whatever truly afflicts you.
—  Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter

Dear fifteen year old me,

How you doing? Its been awhile. I’m here to let you know a few things, the main thing is; its going to get a lot worse. But then its going to get a lot better.

Don’t worry about that boy, in about two years he’s going to come around. You’ll fall into a love that will consume your soul. You’ll get hurt, and you’ll move on.

The man you’re going to fall for this year is not to be trusted. Use your gut. Be safe, he’s going to take advantage of your youth.

Hug your brothers. Play with them more
Try to understand them. They won’t be around much longer.

You’re going to hate mom, and spend hours locked away in your room.. That’s okay. Just, don’t take her lightly when she talks about moving, its going to happen and suddenly.

The rug that is your life is going to get ripped out from under your feet. You’re going to get really, really, really sad… This is going to cause you to drop out of school. I know, its dumb. But you’re gonna be okay. There’s going to be a time when you’re homeless, a few times actually.

You’re going to work at a place you love for years, save your money. I didn’t and I wish I did.

You’ll meet a girl who will transform everything you thought about friendships in one night. She is your soulmate and has been searching for you for years. Hold on tight.

People are going to surprise you, in terrible and amazing ways. You’re going to find love in a dingy bar, and when you’re least expecting it. Its going to be hard, and for a really long time. But come the 7th year, you’re going to be sitting in this spot realizing that you have overcome so much, and that you are worth more than you ever imagined.

You’re going to be okay. Trust me, I was once you.

—  An open letter #19

The French Post Office - which sometimes delivers packages and letters with delay - has decided that Valentine’s Day is not over yet: look what I found in my mailbox today! 

The lovely @ladycyprus sent this to me and filled the envelope with little hearts. Of course, I made a fool of myself by opening the envelope so eagerly that said hearts scattered in my kitchen: it just proves how impatient I was…

Keep reading

Dear mirror,
I know what you’re thinking and yes
I am going to leave the house like this
I will not be combing down my cowlick
Or changing my clothes
I am glorifying my insecurities
Dear bed sheets,
The next girl who shares you
Will already know them all
So you can feel free to tell all of my secrets
I am no longer scared
Of what my bedroom has to say about me
Dear scars,
I am showing you off
Welcome to the light
I am proud
of every decision I have ever made
even if they weren’t the right ones
dear past,
consider yourself embraced
dear future,
it’s true
I have no idea what you have in store for me
but I’m not fucking scared of you anymore
Dear lungs,
Be prepared to work over time
I realize
how it feels to be grateful for every bit of life
you can fit in your chest
so I am breathing deep
Dear smile,
I am no longer treating you like a bad habit
Dear heart,
forgive me
I have abused your innocence
placed you
into any hands that seemed big enough to hold you
but please
keep beating
my sleeve
would be empty without you
Dear hands,
I know it’s going to be hard
but you’re going to have to learn how to let go
I promise
Someday soon
someone will come along to fill in your empty spaces
until then
you’re gonna have to make due
with the feeling of a pen
Dear mirror,
I know what you’re thinking
and yes
I am going to leave the house
just like this
—  Breathing Deeply, by Jordan Hamilton
The cut rap from the "Adams Administration" from Hamilton, but to a different President

An open letter to the
The big self-centered grump,
National embarrassment
Know as President Donald Trump.
The man’s irrational.
Thinks he can ban those of different countries without gaining concerned intrigue?
Bitch, please!
Never trying to understand
You’re always goin’ berserk
But never doin’ your real work.
Give my regards to Melania
Next time you complain about the Democrats moral compass
At least they do their job up in this rumpus!
The line is behind me
I crossed it again
While the president lost it again.
Aw such a rough life
Better run to your wife
Ask your dad for a small loan again!
Let me ask you a question:
Who sits at your desk when you’re not giving two shits?
They didn’t take you seriously back in ‘88
And you’ve tried to prove them wrong ever since.
You’re a nuisance with no sense!
You’ll die of disrespect!
Go ahead, call them devils.
You aspire to their levels
You inspire to malevolence!
Say “Hi,” to the Pences
And the support with me
Maybe they can confirm.
I don’t care if people hate me for this letter
We’re confining you to less than one term
You racist motherfucker!

open letter to myself, my ex, and anyone that is feeling a little lost with life

oh where to start? i’m sarah, i’m 31 in a few weeks(kill me), and i’m going through a weird divorce.

i’ve made this tumblr in the hopes of doing some self reflection, but not in the vacuum of my own thought space, I hope it can be a back and forth with people i love, people i’m just getting to know, people who have been through similar and have advice to offer, and possibly for people about to go through something. I want to use these awful things as learning material, to mourn the relationship that was, rebuild and find boundaries for future relationships and move on to be a better me.

i’ve opened up slowly to my close friends, the more okay i get with everything, the more i feel i can start that conversation. and many of them have shared their own troubles and disappointments about marriage with me. it’s amazing how we try to hide the messy parts of life, but that IS life. it’s messy. some days/weeks/months/years are really hard. others are so fun and exciting. but it’s the culmination of both that truly make a life.

first things first. look at how happy we were. we were best friends. we were going to do all the things! i’ve never felt love like i did with him.

then life happened. things got very messy for us. my dad died four months after we got married. i spent a considerable amount of time unemployed in our first two years. life was REALLY hard. we were also very different in how we felt things, how we approached each other, and how we hurt. i grieved my dad, got a job, he felt a little less pressure, but it was like all of a sudden things were better but we weren’t the same anymore, we didn’t see eye to eye on everything. he no longer found me funny. he’d rather see anyone else socially than hang out with me. he’d make big decisions or big things would happen and i’d hear about it from other people. we both grew, but clearly grew apart.

luckily we didn’t have kids, just dogs that are our kids, don’t own anything together, and until April 2016 I thought we’d be together forever. the actual divorcing part, the paperwork, the expenses, should all be relatively simple. it’s the feelings i’m having the hard time with. there are days where i can say “he’s right, this wasn’t working and i need to, and will, move on.” then there are the sad days, the days where i can’t even dream of being happy ever again, where i feel like finding him was like being stuck by lightening and it won’t ever happen again. there are days i want him to see that we’re supposed to be together and that this is just a hard spot we’re in, but then we’ll actually spend time together and i can see that he’s looking forward to me being out of his house, out of his life. there is no more “we” for him, and it hurts, and it breaks my heart over and over again, but that all seems to be pretty normal. he had to do this for him, and i get it, but it fucking sucks.

reaching this level of disappointment has made me very aware of every instance that i could have disappointed one of you. it has made me want to be a better friend, better lover, and better at my job. i think about it when doing normal things, like “don’t fuck this up, sarah, this matters and you can’t ruin it!” i don’t ever want someone to feel this way because of me. and i am sure that my ex probably does, and even that makes me feel terrible. i know that we are here because i had a very hard time being married for a while. i said and did things he may never forgive me for, and that’s also okay. he shouldn’t have to. don’t get me wrong, there are days i am so mad at him i want him to suffer forever. i want him to regret this every day. i am very hurt and very angry, but these are not the feelings i can let dictate how i deal with this, how i treat him, how i treat people going forward. i WILL NOT allow this divorce to define who i am.

there are going to be so many more hard days, life is going to continue to be messy, but here i am, doing the best i can with the shit that is thrown at me.

but today feels like a good day. so i can say i may have gotten here in a hard/shitty way. but here i am and it’s going to be pretty good.

An open letter to my future husband

Hey baby, I may not know you yet but if I do you better get your shit together soon because it’s starting to get really hard. College is getting harder and the boys are getting shittier. I’ve been making out with a lot of boys and I don’t really wanna do that anymore. I’m ready for late nights cuddling with you and your rubbing my back after a long day. I’m ready for us to hold hands, for you to eat dinners with my family and for fun nights at the bar with friends. I’m ready for you to be committed to me and I’m ready for unconditional love. I have no doubt that we will fight and argue and I’m not trying to romanticize anything but I’m ready for you to be my best friend and my partner in crime. I’m excited to make love and not just have sex, I’m ready for passionate nights and for nose kisses. I’m ready to have nights where we argue about stuff but when we go to bed we kiss goodnight. I’m ready to know that everything will be okay in the morning. 

I’m not going to lie I’m not very proud of who I am becoming right now. I’m sick of parties, I’m sick of boys who aren’t ready for commitment, I’m sick of crying because of texts and phone calls, I’m sick of kissing stupid, random boys who mean nothing to me. And I’m sick of kissing that one boy who means so much to me right now. He’s breaking my heart but I know it’ll be alright and that I have to wait it out for you because you are the one who is going to matter in the long run. I’m sad that I couldn’t have met you sooner, that I’m spending time on people who aren’t you, but I think it’s for the best. I want to be the best Vica I can be before I meet you. I want to be confident and beautiful and I need sometime to figure all this stuff out.

Let me end this and say that I will be committed to you for my whole life. I promise to love you unconditionally and with everything I have. I promise that our children will be wonderful and loved and that we will be amazing parents. I promise that no matter what, no matter what kind of fights we get into, the mistakes we make, we can overcome them. I will be faithful, I will be loving, I will be kind, and I will be strong.

Waiting for you and for us is hard, but from now on I’m going to take the steps to make me whole and beautiful so you will have the best of Vica in your life. I can’t wait to be with you and I can’t wait to love you.

Love, Vica 11/2/15

Open Letter,

I can’t help but remember how you hold me. I can’t help but appreciate how you helped mold me. I can’t recall how you told me but.. you know me.. you have the same soul as me.. you wear the same sleeves as me, I can’t forget how your heart stole me. I can’t help but miss how you loved me and how you’d show me. I can’t help but pray that you stroke your fingers through my hair one last time.. that you look me in my eyes and apologize for promising me a lie.. that you come back from where ever you are, and I can’t help but hope you aren’t too far deep in who ever they are.. I just can’t help but forgive you for how you broke me. 

- Last night the silence weighed in on me.

Common streaks of nothing but the sound of

Every deep breath I used to satisfy my disappointment.

Faded pale ceilings that compliment the clutter sharing space with me.

The chaos inside that has waited for me.

Some days I can’t breathe.. Some nights I can’t speak

These walls will never understand the pain that comes

with lying in between infinite nothings, so they cry too..

Thee infatuations that made sense to disappear,

when feelings arose and fell through -

The blind would’ve made sense and seen too.

I’ve shared myself with many bodies in hopes that

I could find souls who I could break through.

& have found nothing but the same empty holes

within myself that’ve proved my love disabled.

- Last night I sat in the same queen size bed

you whispered you loved me in.

With one eye open and one eye closed, resting

was beyond the bounds of any love I thought I’d reasoned.

: So I sit still -

The Mirror I once loved to watch us make love in

to intertwine into one while climaxing as the sun

rose from dawn till dusk to spread love as i spun

counting pedals - one by one -

Does he love me? Is he the one? 

Was this meant for me before it begun?

Am I your safe haven just for fun? 

It mocked me for lust while looking back toward an empty me.

I could hardly catch my breath, wondering who

i’ve become and am I all the left over pieces you chose

to pick apart before you could fully leave…

: my hands are hurting.

Ironically, not my heart.

- Last night I stared at the rivers, which’ve flown down my palms

effortlessly for so long and I realized I am amongst a drought.

I can’t help but wish you could fill me. I can’t help but wish you were near me. I can’t help but wish you could steer me back to that happy place where we held hands, before you disappeared. However, I can’t help but fucking smile knowing no woman before me and no woman after will ever leave imprints on your back signed “love, me” that sting every night you lack intimacy. I can’t help but fucking smile knowing I gave it my all and you failed - not me. See, I was meant to be a lover. I was meant to feel hurt more. I was built to endure pain the same way I was built to obtain a love that nobody could ever give me - but me. I lost myself, finding you. I found myself, losing you. 

and now you can’t help but remember how I held you, huh?

I want you to know that you broke up with me and I am not okay. I am far from okay. But you opened my eyes. I’m not okay without you and that is not okay. I need to be alright with myself now. I need to love myself without you. So I’m dedicating this time now to being okay. I’m going to be apologetically selfish; Say fuck it, say no, say yes if I really want to. Whatever it takes. I’m going to be happy. I’m not just your girlfriend anymore. I am so much more.
—  Letters to T.J.
the easiest spell ever

okay so when I don’t have to time to bring out all the fancy spells and stuff but I still need to do something,
I just open my little heart and go into a meditative state then I think about what it is I need and I take a piece of paper and either write a letter, or a list of words
the most common ones I use are

-self love
-love from family and friends
-really anything!!

so I put the words down and fold up the paper (if you have any herbs that would go with that that would be super cool too but not necessary) and then just throw it in a fireproof dish and imagine the smoke carrying my message out into the universe
this is super good for people just learning spell work and stuff!!

I just went and erased any trace of the people of my past off my phone. I came to the realization that I’ve given my body to cheats and my mind to liars. I’ve given my soul to junkies and my heart to artists - and out of it all, the worst part was never losing any of them, the worst part was losing myself. I won’t repeat my mistakes and this is an open letter/promise to myself to never make those mistakes again. Anyone will be lucky to have my presence in their life and I deserve all things warm and iridescent. Souls that will electrify mine, not dull it. I deserve truth, I won’t lose my love on anyone’s addiction or unkept promises. I don’t deserve men who have no room for light, who value their own greed and lullabies over whispered sweet nothings and the blood I spill into poetry for them. I deserve for my entity, all that I am, all my molecules, all my dopamine and serotonin and oxytocin to be appreciated.