an old cell phone

Adulting tips from an adult who doesn’t adult good:

Keep two separate dirty clothes bins. One for clothes. One for towels. That way you won’t have to dig out towels from a mountain of clothes you can just wash a load when you are desperate.

Anything with “pet deodorizer” in the cleaning label can be poured down the sink to kill bad odors kill gnats.

Try to change your sheets twice a month. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t.

Start a decent first aid/OTC pharmacy when you have some money left over. Disinfectant, aspirin, allergy meds, Etc. You never know when A) you can’t afford a doc atm or B) you can’t get yourself to go to the doc or C) both or D) your idiot friend just decided to snowboard off your roof. This doesn’t have to be a priority.

At some point you’ll have to buy a thermometer. Don’t buy the cheapest one, it won’t last past the second cold of the year.

Get a clock that runs on batteries because lol you will lose power at some point.

On that note, if you have room, get some kind of ice chest/cooler because you will lose power at some point, and while your freezer will remain nice and cold for a day or so, your fridge will not so the ice chest will come in handy because you can always replace the ice but your milk will go sour.

Also on this note: buy a flash light and slowly and surely never throw away a candle. Ever. Ever. Ever. Unless it’s done and then you have my permission. The first time you have to take a shower without power in the dark you’ll thank me.

Also bic lighters are cheap and easy and jfc you have to light candles somehow.

Be on the look out for: cheap blankets, fans, and space heaters. Buy whenever possible. They will save your life.

Bananas go bad quick. Eat them. They are good for you.

If you have a car, keep the following things in it: a towel, a blanket, a change of socks, some cash, a flashlight, and some kind of food like a granola bar. If you have an old cell phone, keep it in there too. While old cell phones won’t have service providers, most (newer) cell phones still allow you to dial 911 despite not being connected to a service.

If you have the space (I have a garage that’s too small for my truck so I use that) and you have a in-home washer/dryer, hang clothes to dry. A) easier on clothes so clothes last longer B) less electricity = less money & less energy usage.

Dryer sheets + rugs = getting out pet hair

Dryer sheets + hair = gets rid of fly-a-ways. (Scented dryer sheets = makes ur hair smell good.)

Towel on a cookie baking sheet = ironing board (I’ve also heated up a skillet and used it as an iron in a frantic last minute freak out)

Keep extra toilet paper within arms reach of the toilet

Proof of Time Travel

Could time travel exist? Some people believe so. Look at these images and see what you think.

1. The Chinese Swiss Watch. Back in 2008, a 400 year old tomb was opened. Archaeologists were shocked to discover this small watch among the artifacts. The back of the watch is engraved with the word “Swiss”. They have no explanation of how this modern watch came to be in an unopened 400 year old tomb.

2. Charlie Chaplin Cell Phone. Viewers watching the extras section of the 1928 Charlie Chaplin film “The Circus” noted this person seemed to be talking on a cell phone. Others have claimed it was an ear trumpet, a horned device used to help those who were hard of hearing to hear. If that’s true, skeptics argue, who would she be talking to? Why is she laughing and talking if no one is there to hear but herself?

3. 1940s Hipster. This picture was taken at a small opening event in 1941.Time travel enthusiasts were quick to point out how this man stood out. He appears to be wearing a hooded sweatshirt and printed t-shirt, and holding a modern camera.

4. Rudolph Fentz. Rudolph apparently vanished without a trace in 1876. That alone wouldn’t be enough to constitute time travel, except that he turned up again…in the 1950s. Fentz allegedly materialized in a New York street, where he was struck by a car and died. Police were baffled as to what happened, especially when they found his pockets to only hold currency from the 1800s.

5. The Man in the Book. A couple was perusing an old book store when they happened across a book with this photograph included. It shows a group from 1917, but this man sticks out. His hair is disheveled and his clothing doesn’t fit in with the time period. Also note how the man beside him his staring at him, as though he too is aware of the strangeness.

5 Tips For Clogging Your Drain To Keep Whatever Is Trying To Come Up Out Of It At Bay

When you’ve got something trying to claw its way out of your drain, sometimes it can be too expensive to pay someone to clog your sink for you. Try out some of these tips instead!

1. Only use red hair to clog your drain: The last thing you want to hear while you’re trying to brush your teeth in the morning is the sound of long talons incessantly tapping at the inside of your drain pipes, longing to escape from your walls so it can insert its eggs into your cat like a spider wasp. One simple solution to push back the abomination that keeps trying to pull itself up out of your drain is to go ahead and shove some red hair down your sink, but make sure you ONLY use red. The clump will naturally act as a barrier, and the growling thing down there seems to be afraid of red hair, while black hair does nothing, and blond hair gives it strength.

2. Yell down your sink for the beast to leave you alone: Sometimes the best way to clog your drain is with your voice. The unknowable nightmare in your sink may not understand English, but if you get your face right into your sink and sternly shout phrases like “I don’t like it when you live in my drain!” or “Please stop rattling the pipes when you reach your sexual climax in my plumbing!” it will understand from the tone of your voice that you are not playing around, which will hopefully lead it to shrink back to whatever hell it spawned from.

3. Try sacrificing a plumber into your sink: It’s hard to think about anything else when the beast under your sink keeps reaching its hand up to steal your toothbrush off the top of the sink then scurrying back down the drain. One easy solution is to invite a plumber over, slit their throat, and let their blood gush out into your sink. The little drain-dweller will hopefully take the blood of a plumber as a peace offering, and will realize that you are not an enemy but a follower. Upon that realization, maybe, it’ll respect you enough to stay on its own turf. This tip is extra-effective if your plumber is also an ordained priest.

4. Don’t shove any electronics down there because whatever’s down there has the intelligence to figure out how it works: You might think that throwing something down your drain that’s a little more durable, like earphones or even an old cell phone, would clog up your sink so bad that you wouldn’t hear another banshee howl from whatever the fuck is down there. But, this crawling gag reflex is not stupid. If you drop any kind of electronic down your drain, the creature in your sink will undergo the process of evolution so rapidly, it will develop inventions humankind could never fathom and use those to free itself from your sink and threaten life as we know it. So putting electronic devices down there: a big no-no!

5. Know when it’s time to just give up and move: Sometimes you can try as hard as you can, you can follow all the rules, but at the end of the day, the unquenchable thing in your sink ends up winning. There’s no shame in accepting defeat, packing up your things, and leaving your place. Hopefully, you won’t have the same problem in the next place you live!

15 years Repairing Electronics Here: With Liquid Damaged Electronics, DON'T Use Rice, Instead Use A Fan (explanation inside)

I’ve spent nearly 20 years repairing liquid/water damaged electronics. More specifically, cell phones. In the old days, we’d open the phones up, clean the corrosion, resolder, etc. Recently, they’ve (the manufacturers) moved away from local repairs and moved more towards warranty replacements, swap outs (FRU = factory replacement units) & insurance. Now if you want your electronics repaired locally, you have to visit 3rd party independent people since you can no longer have it done in a corporate-ran store.

I know rice is the go-to recommendation for water damaged phones and other electronics, and it works, to an extent. It will passively absorb moisture. Unfortunately, you don’t want to passively absorb the moisture, you want to actively remove the moisture as quickly as possible.  The longer the moisture is sitting on those circuit boards, the higher the risk of corrosion. And corrosion on electrical components can happen within just a few short hours. If the damage isn’t severe, we’d take contact cleaner (essentially 92% or better rubbing alcohol, the higher the percentage, the quicker it will evaporate) and scrub the white or green powder (the corrosion that formed) with a toothbrush to remove it. If that corrosion crosses contacts, it can cause the electronics to act up, fail or short out. The liquid itself almost never is directly responsible for failed consumer electronics, it’s the corrosion that takes place after the fact (or the liquid damaging the battery, a new battery fixes this issue obviously).

Every time I see someone recommend rice I kinda twinge a little inside because while it does dry a phone out slightly better than just sitting on a counter, it really doesn’t do much to prevent the corrosion that’s going to be taking place due to the length of time the liquid has had to fester inside the phone or whatever.

What you want to do is set the item in front of a fan with constant airflow. Take the device apart as much as you can without ruining it (remove the battery, etc) so that the insides can get as much airflow as possible. Even if it’s not in direct contact with the air, the steady air blowing over the device will create a mini vacuum effect and pull air from inside. It’s just a small amount but it’s significantly better than just allowing the rice to passively absorb the evaporated moisture. True, rice can act as a desiccant, but a fan blowing over whatever is orders of magnitude faster.

I personally will take apart a piece of electronics completely, and put those items in front of a fan, and if you have the relevant knowledge, I highly recommend doing so as well. But if you don’t, it’s not that big of an issue. What you want to avoid at all costs, however, is heat. Do not put your phone inside an oven or hot blow dryer, heat can damage electronics just as bad as liquid, sometimes more so. Heat, extreme cold and liquid are bad for electronics & cell phones. A fan (lots of airflow) is 99 out of 100 times better at removing moisture quickly than rice. I would say 100 out of 100 but I’m sure there’s going to be some crazy situation or exception I haven’t thought of that someone will come in and point out. I’d like to remind people that exceptions are just that, they don’t invalidate the rule.

Forget My Love

Jason Todd x Reader (1/?)


Summary - He thought he lost you, he watched you die, but what does Jason do when he sees you again?

Word count - 1.4K

Warnings - swearing, sad stuff

Italics is a flashback

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  • so the four of them have been trying to come up with a name for their group for weeks
    • nino proposed MAAN (mari, alya, adrien, nino) but alya was concerned that it gave legitimacy to the patriarchy
    • adrien then suggested MANA bc he googled it and apparently it means power and prestige, but then mari found out it was also a mexican rock band and now none of them can take the name seriously 
    • alya tried NAAM but adrien was like “nah that’s a kind of yoga that chloe does”
    • they’re currently contemplating AMAN, although there are disagreements about it also being a bougie resort hotel chain
    • naming the group chat is somehow worse
  • the four of them binged the harry potter movies at alya’s house one night, and adrien was in love with the idea of the weasley sweaters. so marinette, bless her heart, spends months knitting the four of them christmas sweaters with their initials on the front
  • adrien has really weird nicknames for everyone in his phone
    • mari: “moonlight fashion princess”
    • alya: “beautiful warrior goddess” 
    • nino: “valiant sunshine prince”
    • that kid pulls inspo from so many shows and random tumblr posts they don’t bother to ask why he chose the names
  • they all agree that if any of them were ever arrested, alya would be their first phone call. they ask alya who her first phone call would be, but she just snorts without looking up from her phone and goes “…please.”
  • adrien’s dad likes to compensate (or something) by getting him brand new cell phones every year. so he just gives his old ones to his friends bc they’re still relatively nice and honestly why is his dad like this.
    • the other three are not complaining 
  • nino is that asshole that will surreptitiously film his friends when they’re not looking and snap it to them like a creep. one time he caught marinette sketching in the park while he hid in the bushes and she’s still so livid that she didn’t see him
anyway, it didn’t work out because you are not as kind
as the demigod husband i was promised, not as brave,
not as unquestionably good. i would say that with no judgement,
except i’ve judged and condemned, have sent my friends
your old texts to decipher, have passed my cell phone around
the dinner table, because i needed someone else
to say that yes, you are beautiful, but no,
no one is beautiful enough to forgive endlessly.

there is a limit to every love, let’s not pretend there isn’t.
there is a road that turns into a ditch, a ditch that becomes a lake,
a lake that becomes an ocean, an ocean that becomes
a girl. anyway, it was a bullet dodged, a bullet received.
an old hurt is still a hurt, still a flood in a rainstorm.
for a long time, my favorite poem was your favorite poem
and it didn’t matter to me that no one else liked it.
i thought it meant that you knew me, that you could
really see me, but first i had to become me.
—  Yena Sharma Purmasir, “nine of thirty” (2017)
For Having Loved You

A Destiel Ficlet
This is fluffy like pink candy floss. With a bit of the touchy-feelys. Cas is listening to music in his room and, well, Dean catches him dancing…
Word count: 4183k (This is long af, I know. I’m procuring an Ao3 account!)
Warnings: Minor useage of bad language




When Sam gave Cas the cell phone a month ago - one of Dean’s old ones, but of course Cas doesn’t mind - it was fully charged, loaded with a pay-as-you-go sim card and came with full-on access to music. Cas has never had this type of access before, and it’s at times overwhelming, the possibility of choice, of changing tastes as fluidly as discovering a new era, but it’s oddly calming as well, some sort of anchor into this new reality, having a piece of humanity’s greatest feats at his fingertips. He’s been back almost six months. He was gone for almost two. He can’t remember anything about what death actually felt like. It didn’t feel like anything. He didn’t feel anything. Now, he feels everything, all the time, but the music helps to focus him. He has to remember to thank Sam for giving him that.

This evening, Cas sits on his bed, eyes closed, fingers lightly tapping away to the beat of the tune in his earbuds. The song has a certain rhythm to it that he’s grown to like. He made the playlist a few weeks ago and is beginning to know the lyrics, which makes the music even more enjoyable. He listened to a lot of different artists before he landed in a sound that has quickly become one of his favourites. He has many. His taste is perhaps not so much fluid as it is eclectic. Now the beat does what it usually manages to do - it gets him to his feet. And more than that, it makes him start to move, awkwardly, to the music. It’s more like a shuffle, because he doesn’t quite know how to move his body, not really, but it’s nice.

As his eyes are closed again, he doesn’t notice when Dean walks past his door. Usually Cas keeps it shut, but tonight it’s standing slightly ajar for whatever reason and Dean takes a step back at what he’s just seen. A smile spreads over his mouth and quickly reaches his eyes as he rests them on Cas, gaze warming with an intimacy that Dean barely dares to show anymore. Not because of how it would look, but because he can feel how his entire insides become electric if he indulges - and so he doesn’t. Watching this tentative attempt at something so fundamentally human, though… it’s nothing short of irresistible.

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anonymous asked:

How do you feel about people claiming that in marrying Bruce, Selina's character will be ruined? I of course see that argument as odd, seeing that she's said numerous times in the past that she wants to be happy, and with that, settling down and having a family. Do you truly think that would waver who Selina is?

You already know that I don’t. I wrote about my thoughts on Selina and family and marriage awhile ago and you can read about it here. Linking it seems like such a cop out but it’s pretty long. On that note I will say this: when people have brought up the idea that getting married would ruin her character I had no idea what they were talking about until I read this. Warning: do not read unless you can afford a spike in blood pressure.

Most notably this critic is says this:

She is a thief.  She is a thrill seeker.  For her, it’s all about the hunt.

And this little gem right here:

I see so many people on social media saying how romantic this is.  It makes me wonder.  Is this just a knee jerk reaction to seeing two long time lovers finally getting together?  Have people really even taken the time to analyze this relationship?  Or, are the ones shipping this the kind of people that value need over want?

Eye roll to the fullest. As a Batcat blogger I take that as a personal challenge. Yes, we have taken the time to analyze this relationship and we have almost 80 years of material to go on and I’ve come with the receipts. 

I suppose this is what most people are referring to when they say that Catwoman’s character would be “ruined” if she got married. Those who are saying that are grossly oversimplifying her character and missing an important part of Catwoman’s development as a character. It reduces Catwoman to just a thief and that does her such a huge disservice. It has been true across multiple versions and media that, Catwoman does not always want to be defined as a thief. That thrill of thievery that they’re referring to, and Selina has said this herself multiple times, wears off. Thieving and other criminal activity has gotten her thrown in prison, almost killed, and she’s had to fake her death a couple of times because of it (as recently as Future’s End). The criminal lifestyle has almost ruined her life and eventually it ends up making her feel empty and trapped. 

Going back to the Bronze Age after Selina spends some time in prison for her crimes as Catwoman once she’s paroled she wants to move on and distance herself from her past. (Batman #308)

Later on during a meeting with Bruce she tries to disguise herself because she worries that being seen in public with her will hurt his reputation and cause a scandal. (Batman #313) 

Skipping ahead to the Pre-Flashpoint era Catwoman’s second on-going series was all about her reforming and becoming the defender of Gotham’s east end. In the very first issue of her series we get a lot from Selina’s perspective on why she does it. To really understand you’ll have to read her first on-going series because a lot of stuff went down towards the end of it that makes Selina disenchanted by the criminal lifestyle. At the beginning of her second series she can’t even bring herself to put on the costume because it’s brought her so much suffering and she feels defined by what she considers to be past mistakes. (Catwoman [v3] #1)

I don’t think that Selina thinks that marriage is the end all be all, but I definitely don’t think that it’s something that she’d completely rule out either. In fact I think that Selina hasn’t seriously considered it because she just never thought that it was an option for her. It’s funny to me that so many people think that Selina is strictly anti-marriage when 1) she’s never said that before and there’s nothing in canon to indicate that she feels that way and 2) some versions of her have expressed a desire to have a family. 

I wrote about this in my previous post but from Catwoman’s second series while Selina steals an ancient dollhouse she talks about her childhood and mourns the loss of her family and the fact that she missed out on that stability growing up. I think that indicates that there is some kind desire to regain that. (Catwoman [v2] #39)

There it is–Everything I’ve always wanted. Everything I’ve never had…Preserved over millennia in perfect condition. Priceless miniature. Stable family.

Emphasis mine. I also can’t stress enough that Catwoman’s Earth-2 counterpart point blank said that she wanted a family and a new life badly enough that she came up with some ludicrous lie about having amnesia in order to obtain it, but she thought it was too late. Earth-2 Catwoman ends up marrying Batman and having a child. The Brave and the Bold #197 was all about Bruce and Selina’s desire to start a new life and finding happiness with each other. In the Bronze Age version Bruce and Selina both retire to raise their daughter together and in the latest version they raise her as a crime fighter. That proves that marriage doesn’t “trap” Selina by any means. She did however feel trapped being Catwoman.

Still not convinced? Okay. I know that The Dark Knight Rises isn’t everyone’s favorite version of Catwoman, but something Christopher Nolan got right… Selina Kyle is introduced as a thief but she’s working for Daggett with the promise that she’ll be compensated with a software that will allow her to erase her criminal record which she wants to use to start a new life. She tells Bruce:

I started out doing what I had to. Once you’ve done what you’ve had to they’ll never let you do what you want to…There’s no fresh start in today’s world. Any twelve year old with a cell phone can find out what you did. 

In Batman: The Telltale Series Selina has an excellent dialogue with Bruce about her criminal career where she lays it all out. She says:

You’re a good man, Bruce. But good men don’t lie with thieves.I know what I am. No noble intentions, just the thrill of breaking what they say can’t be broken. Knowing there’s no safe I can’t crack, no fortress I can’t infiltrate. Proving I can… I’ve stolen from corrupt jerks like Hill, but I’ve taken plenty from good people too. And for what? Some shiny new toys and a crappy apartment on the edge of town? The high is nice but it wears off. And you look around and see…nothing. So you get back out there. Try and chase that feeling down, but it never amounts to anything really.

What has remained true about Selina in the comic books and other media is that she begins her life as a thief, but eventually she wants out but she feels defined by it. She feels like she has no other choice but to keep going. People really look down on Catwoman because she’s a criminal. She gets really dismissed as just some thief. This is something that Selina internalizes and is insecure about. Selina doesn’t always think that she’s a good person and that she can’t be anything other than a thief and a criminal. The idea that all Catwoman wants to do is live a dangerous life of chaos and crime is exactly the type of label she very often tries to break away from. 

The argument that Selina shouldn’t get married because she’ll feel trapped is ironic considering that there’s a lot canonical evidence that she actually feels trapped by The Life™ and it just reeks of concern trolling. Somehow people think that risking imprisonment and death and being defined as a criminal is a more preferable outcome than marriage. 

Catwoman is a character that’s always reinventing herself and always looking for a second chance. I don’t think that that always means marriage and family, but I don’t see why it can’t especially since it’s never been done in the main continuity before. 

I’m not going to bother addressing an argument that Bruce and Selina have a one sided relationship, because it’s obvious nonsense and I’ve dedicated many a blog posts already refuting that. I suggest going through my tags if you really want to know, but I will say this because I think it’s crucial: in spite of everything that people say and think about Catwoman and what she often thinks of herself Batman never stops believing in her. 

Batman has been a constant presence in her life and more often than not it’s his unwavering belief that deep down she’s a good person that inspires her to see the good in herself and get the second chance she so desperately seeks. Whether it’s inspiring her to become the whip wielding defender for Gotham’s most disenfranchised, running off to France, or starting a family. Batman and Catwoman have found a lot of happiness in each other so I find the idea that marriage would “ruin” Catwoman’s character to be, quite frankly, absurd.

Batman and Catwoman have been together for 77 years. It’s just time.

Chaeyoung: Tzuyu, why are you sequestered over by this old cell phone?

Tzuyu: I’m avoiding Dahyun and her truth bombs.


Dahyun: [to Sana] I sometimes worry I’m going to become you.

Sana: Worry??


Tzuyu: She keeps saying she wants to talk to me. I’m afraid she’s gonna tell me she loves me, or propose marriage or something.

Chaeyoung: Oh my god, that kinda makes me wanna cry.

Tzuyu: She was about to take the hit from the hammer on Weekly Idol for me. I can’t be mean to her!

Chaeyoung: Jihyo told me not to let her get hurt tonight. So, I’ll keep her away from you.

Tzuyu: [sees Dahyun walking and quickly runs away]

Dahyun: Hey Chaeyoung, have you seen Tzuyu?

Chaeyoung: Tzuyu died 8 years ago. Come on, let’s get you a drink.

Dare | Taehyung

Scenario: I’ve been dared to buy 20 condoms on the same night the cute cashier is working a shift.
Genre: Fluff and (I tried for some) Humor.
Word Count: 2,119


Your feelings on how the night has progressed so far can be pretty much summed up in a single word: fuck—and that barely does anything to encompass the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment and apprehension that fills your blood.

Keep reading

Have you guys heard about the newest adventure race craze? It’s called the Tough Mulder. Obstacles include:

  • Running through cornfields shouting “SCULLAAAAAY!” as you try to avoid helicopter searchlights
  • Programming speed dial on a several generations-old cell phone before a soda machine detonates
  • Riding a rising UFO bareback for a minimum of 8 seconds
  • Lying in a coffin for an undetermined amount of time
  • Choosing a terrible tie and tying it properly
  • Following your boo down a massive hole in the forest
  • Building a tower of dead bodies
  • Jumping on to a moving train
  • Impregnating an infertile woman
  • Outrunning a horse
  • Driving a stake through a vampire
  • Finding your sister’s clone
  • Commandeering a Sno-Cat® across the Antarctic
  • …and more!

Credit to race organizers @crossedbeams, @dangerscully, @defnotmeyo, @kateyes224, @damselindistressmya for the above (and way more, but I limited it to just the ones that made me pee myself.)

Live Evil@samschechter

I wanted a piece that was initially led by the palindrome, ‘Reviled did I live, said I, as evil I did deliver,’ and tied in with an amalgamation of new and old ideas. A cyber witch coven using new technology to invoke old, old archaic magic. I also wanted to incorporate how screens (tv, cell phone, and otherwise) are also considered a door for the spiritual plane to enter the corporeal plane.

Write Me Lovely part 7

Jughead woke up to sunshine and cinnamon. His eyes fluttered open slowly as he stretched his overly long limbs, his feet tangling in the fabric softener scented sheets. It was such a vast difference from the dirty mattress pad and barred walls he was used too, even at home he had never had a real matress, he slept on a pull out couch covered by an old fleece blanket. He could stay like this forever, tucked into this bed replaying memories of last night over and over.

Betty had cooked dinner, the most delicious meal he had had in years, who knew something as simple as pasta could be that mouthwateringly delicious. Then they had fallen together on her couch, an old nineties movie playing on her television, they didn’t talk much, it was comfortable. He knew it was strange, hell it was past the point of strange it was downright bizarre. This beautiful woman, her heart completely golden, and a hardened criminal sleeping in her home, eating her food, staring into her eyes, memorizing her smile. It wasn’t normal, everything she was doing for him, what could he offer her? Trouble. That was all. The part in his brain that told him to run was loud but there was a new voice now, soft and warm as it whispered

A knock on the bedroom door shook him out of his thoughts, the same voice coming from outside of the room.

“I don’t mean to wake you, I heard shifting. if you’re awake you can open the door, if not I’ll just pretend I’m talking to hotdog.”

Jughead couldn’t keep the grin off of his face as he made his way to the door, opening it slowly to find Betty standing in front of him, ruffled white apron around her waist and her hair pulled into a messy bun.

“Good morning” she whispered, dimples peeking through her Cheeks.

Jughead leaned against the door frame, a sleepy smile on his face.

“Good morning” he whispered back.

Betty’s eyes quickly scanned the boy in front of her, taking in his black tshirt and tight fitting sweat pants that had once belonged to Kevin. By the flush of her cheeks Jughead knew she approved of his newfound muscles and well rested being.

“I have to head downstairs, it’s gonna be a busy day. I made cinnamon rolls, they’re in the kitchen. I use cocoa powder so not even a little bit for Hotdog.”

As if the white sheepdog knew he was being talked about he let out a whine that had both Betty and Jughead laughing.

“Sorry buddy, bosses orders.” Jughead brought his eyes back to Bettys. “You don’t have to do all of this, I can find a place, I know I can be a bit much.”

Before he even had a chance to finish his sentence , Betty’s arms were wrapped around his waist.“I like having you here. I want you to stay.”

Jughead felt his heart speed up, those words had been the focal point of his dreams last night, but that is what all of this was wasn’t it? A dream, the most amazing dream he’d ever had. One day he would wake up and it would all be over but for now? He was plenty happy to stay sleeping. Resting his chin on his angels forehead he inhaled the vanilla and honey, his hands squeezing her back.


They stayed like that for a moment before Betty hesitantly pulled away

“Okay. So showers down the hall, I’ll see you later.” She stepped back and dropped a kiss to Hotdogs head before heading down the stairs and leaving Jughead alone.

Hot shower. Jesus Christ it was heaven, the perfectly organized array of scented soaps and shampoos were like something out of a store and once again Jughead found himself thinking of Betty’s vanilla scented hair, bringing the bottle up to his nose he surprised himself when the deep moan slipped from his lips. Truthfully it wasn’t his fault, yes Betty Cooper was definitely the best person the Former gang member had ever met but she was also the most beautiful and the way her hips moved and the slender curve of her neck did things to him, made him feel ways he hadn’t ever felt. Her lips were something he could picture perfectly when he closed his eyes, so pink and perfect, not to mention the way she bent down to pet hotdog or grab something from the oven, he couldn’t not look.

Sure there had been women, but he hadn’t felt anything for them, they were beautiful and they satisfied that itch but… they were no Betty Cooper. No one could come close.

Running a towel through his hair he sighed at the way his raven locks were growing far too long, he needed a haircut and maybe a shave.

He made his way down the stairs towards the bakery, grabbing a cinnamon roll on his way down. God that woman could bake. He chose to forgo his leather jacket this time, settling for his plain black jeans and a tattered white tshirt. He had to go shopping too. What a mess.

As soon as he reached the bakery he knew what Betty had been talking about when she spoke of how busy it had been lately, almost every table was taken and the line was nearly out the door.

Jughead spotted Betty behind the counter, frosting cupcakes faster than he thought humanly possible, her crew of workers were running frantically around the bakery.

Jughead walked cautiously towards the beautiful blonde baker, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he leaned against the counter

“Come here often?”

Betty’s eyes snapped up, instantly crinkling along with her smile when she saw the freshly showered boy in front of her.

“Well yes I do. I own this place so yeah…”

“Ah yes. I love a woman in power.”

Betty barked out the loudest laugh, drawing the attention of multiple tables and bringing the largest smile to Jugheads face.

Smacking her hand over her mouth Betty giggled
“What are you doing?” She questioned

Jughead pulled a napkin from the dispenser and pulled a pen from his pocket.
“I’m flirting with you.” He stated so matter of factly, Betty dropped the piping bag she was holding.

“And why on earth are you doing that?”

Jughead shrugged his shoulders still writing on the napkin
“I’m trying to woo you, is it working?”

Betty slid a perfectly frosted vanilla cupcake across the counter
“ I don’t know, ask me at the end of the day.” She licked the spare frosting off of her finger making direct eye contact with Jughead, two could play at this game.

Swallowing thickly the dark haired boy slid the napkin across the table, Betty grabbed it with a raised brow.

“I think I’m gonna go explore your town, I should be back before you close up for the day.” He started walking backwards, a goofy grin still on his face as Betty clutched the napkin. He could feel the eyes of all the bakery patrons on him, he didn’t look like he belonged in this town, surely his motorcycle parked proudly out front wasn’t helping his case.

Betty called after him
“Rumor has it Reggie is in town, I happen to know he hangs out around a certain bestfriends boutique, you might wanna say hello to an old friend” she waved delicately and headed into the kitchen.

Jughead smiled at a little girl, the toddlers eyes lit up and she tugged on her mom’s jacket, Jughead vaguely heard her whisper

“Like Danny Zuko.”

Jugheads hands flew to his hair, it was definitely time for a haircut.

As soon as his butt hit the seat of his motorcycle he sighed, sooner rather than later he supposed, pulling out his old fashioned cell phone from his side satchel, with held breath he glanced down

31 missed calls all from serpents

4 missed calls from his father

1 new text message

“You didn’t think you could really leave gang life that easily did you? Can’t wait to find you. You know what you owe us.”

Jughead slammed his phone shut and revved his engine.

Yeah, seeing Reggie was definitely a good idea.

sometimes i wish there were clues in the game that weren’t really necessary to the plot or the game but just stuff geared towards the characters

like, show me wade thornton’s stash of whiskey bottles because his nightmares keep him up at night. let me find the old cd’s and gifts henry bought for summer, the ones she hated and trashed on his doorstep. show me old, faded pictures of ma and pa on their wedding day. linda’s diary spilling her anxieties about getting a new stepdaughter. nick falcone’s toothbrush hidden behind the counter at the theater. ollie’s divorce letters from freddie’s mother, left unsigned. frank hardy’s old cell-phone from middle school full of pictures of him and nancy on the bus. an empty engagement ring box from tex in mary yazzie’s closet, hal tanaka’s mail from his parents, baby pictures of nancy in carson’s briefcase.

show me these things and let me discover who these characters are so i can learn to love and appreciate all of them instead of wondering what their life was like before nancy drew came along

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry to bother you but can you maybe recommend a few sasunarusasu fics? I'm feel like I've read every fanfic out there and I'm desperate for something new. Thanks!

Okay, let’s do this~! (Long post ahead, also primarily SasuNaru as that’s what I read the most >_>)

10 SureFire Ways To Get Uzumaki Naruto Into Bed by Benq

View Sasuke’s 10 ways to get Naruto into bed.

Warnings: Language, Cracky, One-shot

(Cracky little fic that in the end, tells you that the best way is to ask for consent :D)

100 Roses by Flika

Naruto gets roses for Valentines Day.

Warnings: SasuNaru, mega fluff, one-shot

(Just a really sweet fic tbh)

A Banquet of Blood and Pleasure by VioletWylde

Normal, healthy relationships have problems like arguing over who did the dishes last. Normal, healthy relationships are lived in the light of day. Normal, healthy relationships are boring. Our relationship is neither normal nor healthy. It isn’t perfect. But I couldn’t live without it… in fact I would willingly die for it

Warnings: Vampire!Sasuke, Blood tw, Language, Lemons

(In case you wanted something bloody? “>_>)

A Bundle of Promises by Infinite Vibrance

It all started when Naruto opened his locker one day and found a dangling rose, and with that rose… came a promise.

Warnings: Highschool AU, Complete

(A sweet fic where SNS gets together. Also a side fic is available known as A Small Box)

A Fox And A Hound by darkalbino

Not even nature’s rivalry can come between affection, as orphaned fox Naruto and hunting dog Sasuke are about to discover…

Warnings: Fox&Hound!AU, Language, Some dark/mature themes

(I love SNS!Disney fics like a lot okay)

A Penny for Your Fortune by abskjg

Sasuke unwillingly visits a ‘fortune teller’ who describes his soul-mate to him.

Warnings: SasuNaru, one-shot

(Once again, mostly fluff)

A Thousand Generations by Fifi McFu

Sentenced to a thousand rebirths, Sasuke isn’t enjoying the life of a mortal one bit. That is, until he changes school and lays eyes on a remnant from the Old Times who doesn’t seem to remember him.

Warnings: AU, One-shot

(Highly recommended! Actually anything by this author is highly recommended including:

Fireflies, Dirrty, Hunt or Be Hunted, Rivalry, Here be Maerfolk, Piercings, Uniform)

All the Small Things by michelerene

Life in the ER is hectic. Lives hang in the balance, tempers rise and emotions abound. Dr. Uchiha and Dr. Uzumaki deal with the tensions at work every day. And then they go home and deal with their own relationship.

Warnings: Hospital AU, Dramatic at times

(Ppl have their controversies about this author’s work, from The Divine Glitch to The Demilitarized Zone. My first fic from them was For the Love of His Son which still remains one of my fav SN fics on top of one of my first. However, this is the fic that holds its place as my favorite fic from this author. *Note, all the fics mentioned are my recommended ones tho For the Love of His Son has mpreg*)

Beyond War by Om0cha

The Fourth Shinobi War has ceased but the world continues to search for Naruto Uzumaki. The one entrusted to keep him hidden from both sides can only wait for a day that never seems to come, for the day when he can finally remind him, breathe.

Warnings: Takes place in War Arc then fast forwards 10 years, AU, Dramatic as fuck, Incomplete

(If there was anyway to prolong the Naruto manga/war arc and make it enjoyable, Om0cha found it. Seriously, all my favorite lines from any fanfic come from this fic alone. So, yes highly recommended as well as in my top 3 SN fanfic.)

Blanket Love by Hakai-sama

Sasuke is jealous of Naruto’s baby blanket-but there’s more reason behind it than Sasuke sees.

Warnings: Blood tw

(I don’t have enough angst on this list.)

Bound by the Ring: Remake by acommonname

Uchiha Sasuke is a young Sales and Marketing Director in Hokage Corporations. Nominated by “Chakra Magazine” as the most eligible bachelor in their last issue. Sasuke was constantly met with aggressive husband-hunting women and occasional men day in and day out until he decided to wear a fake wedding ring on his finger to keep them at a distance. Everything was great until-

Warnings: Real World AU, Language, Liar Reveal Plot in some ways

(I immensely enjoy this fic as well as the old version)

Cell Phone Trouble by ladywolfTerri

Sasuke gets a cell phone and so much more.

Warnings: NaruSasu I believe?

(Silly oneshot that’s more for humor than anything else)

Censor by Om0cha

Writing a kinky movie script with Naruto as the kink is indisputably easier when Sasuke isn’t there.

Warnings: Crack and it’s lovely, Based off of Naruto Shippuden: Blood Prison, One-shot.

(Drinking Game: How many kinks can you spot in this fic let alone the movie itself?)

Christmas Morning by LuvversLuvvie

Sasuke made sure Naruto would have the best Christmas in his life.

Warnings: All of the fluff

(Christmas fluff because why the hell not)

Cloud Cover by SecretSky

Naruto’s led a tough life, but with a fresh start at a new school, his natural optimism kicks in. Unfortunately, things are about to get far worse. Pulled into a world of drugs, abuse and crime, he must find a way to make it out alive or die trying. “Remember, Uzumaki,” he said to the mirror, “Your real life is with your friends. This…this is just a nightmare.”

Warnings: Drug Abuse tw, Sexual Abuse tw, Gun tw, Violence tw, Organization tw, Abuse in general tw, Naruto goes through some shit, Sasuke goes through shit, Complete, Highschool AU.

(Very highly recommended. I consider this fic to be more in detail about drugs/the effects than the Rommates Trilogy so watch out for that. This story focuses more on friendship rather than SN, but the sequel, Red Storm, is supposed to make up for that.)

Cohabitation by fool.0

Sasuke starts calling Naruto “The Misses” behind his back two months after moving in with him. It was, in retrospect, akin to ritual suicide.

Warnings: SasuNaru, AUish, Language, Naruto screams most of his dialogue


Crossing The Distance by Dana-Eliza

Naruto is addicted to the internet with the focus on Fanfiction. Here he finds an author with amazingly written works and after the first review was sent, their relationship blossoms. But will it survive when Naruto finds out Sasuke lives in another country?

Warnings: Real World AU, SNS, Dutch!Sasuke, Complete, Very long

(I think I stopped reading in the mid 20s because issues, but the story is still enjoyable)

Anything by TanukiRaccoon including:

What Happens In Tanzaku CityGotta Be SomebodyBlank CanvasHallelujahThe ABC’S Of LoveSix Bowls  (ESPECIALLY SIX BOWLS)

Anything by gweatherwax (FFN) *just a warning, near everything under her name has a lemon and she likes to experiment with strange shit). Including:

It’s all about the uke anywayThe EndEvil, Ugly Little Uchiha - A Sad Fairy TaleThe tale of the gutsy ninjasThere’s always room for Sasuke’s sausageHeatstroke

Good Morning by just-another-generic-emo-kid

Sasuke is sleepy and Naruto is definitely not.

Warnings: Fluff, One-Shot

(Fluff much?)

Hold Me Back by reign of tears

One last hurt.

Warnings: All of the angst. Also, Sai v Sasuke, Language.

(Hi fanfic that left me emotionally numb for several days and holds its place in my top five SNS fics).

How by theallpowerfullme

Sasuke obsessing over Naruto’s ass.

Warnings: Language, Kind of lemon

(Best oneshot ever, 10/10)

Hurt, Cope, Heal by can’

Sasuke’s a successful lawyer whose lover Naruto has just been through a trauma. Naruto is taking his time working through it, but Sasuke would prefer he just get over it. Together they must learn to deal with the past before it becomes their future.

Warnings: Dramatic, KakaIru, ShinoKiba 

(I find the chapters after 17 to be a bit more hastily written but I still recommend this in my top 20 SNS fanfics)

In Good Company by fool.0

This will sound a little ridiculous, no matter how Sasuke phrases it. “I see dead people” is embarrassingly tacky, and “I’m half-spirit” seems like something Sakura might say when she’s stoned sky high. So he settles for a shrug.

Warnings: Language, Sasuke’s POV, the story is not entirely on FFN

(It’s one of those ‘what if so and so character can see dead people and what if those people were the four Hokages?” kind of fics. The so and so person just happens to be Sasuke, of course.)

Life Swap by xLoveless19

Naruto’s marriage with Sai is deteriorating and he doesn’t know how to fix it, not to mention they’re in some serious debt. However a new reality TV show is looking for couples that are willing to swap lives with another couple. Naruto decides to enter to try winning the prize and save his marriage. But he might get more than what the original prize has to offer.

Warnings: SasuSaku (it’s not really prominent in the sense that they interact ‘romantically’) SaiNaruSai (same thing as the other), Language, Incomplete, Can be considered Sakura Bashing, and essentially a Wife Swap AU

(Highly recommended as well as top 20 SNS fanfics)

Liquid Passion by darkalbino

Stabbed and nearly drowning to your death at the bottom of a demon’s lake? It’s not even the last place you’d expect to find love.

Warnings: One-shot, Language, Voreish??? (Sasuke eats Naruto’s flesh, but Naruto isn’t ‘harmed’ by it as much as he gets turned on I suppose >_>)

(Cute and fluffy while having some drama here and there.)

Medium by Talilea

Naruto has had the ability since he was a little child. He can see things that are to come. But when a simple handshake throws into a world of violence who will protect him?

Warnings: Slight non-con, Violence, Gore, SasuNaru, Language, Incomplete, AU

(Some parts of it is drawling with explanation/exposition, but I like the concept very much)

The PR by LuvversLuvvie

Sasuke Uchiha is the youngest CEO of the widely popular and successful Uchiha Corp, and did someone say major hottie? Every newspaper, magazine, talk show, and news program wants an interview with the man who’s got it all, but you have to go through his PR if you want even a chance.

Warnings: Language, Sakura Bashing

(Cute, fluffy, dramatic, and in my top five SNS fanfics)

Ego Trip:

Hit and Run, In The Rain, Half Moon

I’ve been working on this for at least four hours and now I’m really tired and I want to add more (at least 30 more fics), but like I said, I’m tired. xD I hope these work for you, anon!