an experiment in narcissism

anonymous asked:

I'm so tired of this fandom's negativity (on both sides). I mean, if they actually cared about the movies/ characters, they'd see that Tony is preparing for an eventual threat; he's designing things for the TEAM, for Cap, so clearly he wants the team together. And Cap sent the phone, so he also wants Tony and the team back together. In their own ways, they've extended the hand of apology/ forgiveness, and want to put the contrived mess of CW behind them. So why is fandom fighting it?

Agreed. So sick of it. As someone who has been a part of various fandoms on and off for the past twenty years it seems to me that people are becoming less and less tolerant of the fact that tastes vary and not everyone is required to think like you (I say ‘you’ as in all of fandom’s population in general). People have different preferences in characters just like people have different preferences in ice cream flavors. And no one has any right to dictate to another person that what resonates with them and gives them joy and hope and comfort is wrong. There’s a definite narcissism in trying to police another person’s fandom experience and preferences.

To be fair, Marvel, themselves have not helped matters any by constantly pitting heroes against heroes ad nauseum for going on over a decade now (ever since the comic Civil War came out). And it’s biting them in the butt, because comic sales are dwindling as a result of it. People are just plain sick of it and rightfully so.

For my I Heart Steve series I’ve been rereading my favorite Cap authors, i.e. Stern, Gruenwald and Waid and I’ve noticed something… the heroes had more ‘friend moments’ in the older comics. Stuff like Steve and Clint going on a double date to a wrestling match (yes, this panel will appear in my I Heart Steve series because Steve has technique opinions on wrestlers and it’s hilarious, lol). Sam and Steve going out drinking with Steve’s neighbor. Namor and Hercules helping Steve move. Sam and Clint both showing up to Bernie’s going away party. Jan and Steve having girl-talk over coffee. Sam and Steve hug all the time - they see each other, they hug - because they love each other. Steve drawing pictures of Iron Man and Thor for his art portfolio. These are the kinds of touches that seem to be largely absent of late and it’s a shame, because I live for them. To me they make the stakes higher, the heroes more personal… it reminds us why these guys are fighting and what they’re fighting for. Love. Love for humanity. Love of each other. They fight out of love, not hate.

Anyway, yes, I agree. They’re friends. And up until Mark Millar, a-hole that he is (man, that guy loves the sound of his own voice), got a hold of them, these guys (Steve and Tony) were friends. They were the best of friends, though they occasionally disagreed, they were still able to get together and talk about their differences like freaking adults because their friendship was more important to them than their arguments…

See? Friends. Adults. 

Fandom needs to grow up, too. 

  • what she says: im fine
  • what she means: I don't understand the widespread interpretation of Ross Gellar's character on Friends. The group consists of six stereotypes; the sensitive guy, the player, the comic relief, the rich girl, the hippie, and the control freak. Ross' character is obviously the sensitive guy, but he seems to be completely incapable of experiencing the full range of human emotion. His character regularly experiences jealousy, narcissism, and apathy, and maintains a borderline abusive mentality. This is perfectly exhibited in his inability to show empathy for the friend group. For example, the notorious Thanksgiving episode. Monica is rushing to make an entire dinner for six people by herself. She adds more and more dishes to the dinner as she tries to please her friends, and all Ross does is add more chores to her already growing list. He emotionally manipulates his sister just because he wants a certain kind of potatoes with no regard to the stress he puts on her. Of course, Phoebe requests a special dish as well, but only out of love for her mother, as she is later shown to be strongly against such behavior. Ross does this to the people he holds dearest whenever he wants, never taking his friends' feelings into consideration. Another selfish habit of his is forcing them to be safety blankets for him. He bombards them with overdramatic, petty emotional loads, invading their privacy without a care for their personal priorities and using for personal gain. This might be forgivable if he gave a thought to his friends when they had issues, but he continues to be uninterested in the problems of the group. This is a prime example of psychological manipulation. Another example of his inability to feel towards others is the episode with "the break". Ross grows increasingly jealous of Rachel and her coworker, even though it is obvious she is not attracted to him, and accuses her of an affair after harassing her at her job. Rachel suggests they "take a break" from their relationship, and Ross immediately goes out and sleeps with another woman. He then continues to believe he deserves to be forgiven and believes Rachel to be unreasonable for not taking him back, among other things. Ross is never interested in his friends' hobbies, hurt feelings, problems, or personal lives, to go so far as to call them shallow for the things they find pleasure in, meanwhile considering everyone uninterested in paleontology unintelligent. There are specific moments where he puts the well-being of others in front of his own, but he only does this in situations where he has something to gain. He helps his friends for nothing in return only if he sees a possible way to benefit from the transaction. Ross' character is not punished for his actions and his narcissistic way of life is never chastised or looked down upon. This it is illogical for Ross to occupy the sensitive guy archetype. The word "sensitive" implies a person perceptive to emotion. A person capable of living through emotions, both their own and other's, and feeling them passionately. Ross does not align with this definition as he is not perceptive to emotions other than his own. His character is explained as a "nice guy" throughout the entire series, as if he is just in his ways just because he doesn't identify with mainstream masculinity. This is a grossly incorrect interpretation of the character and, in all honesty, a dangerous definition of the word "nice".
Cheek Bones
James Ferraro
Cheek Bones

“Cheekbones” is that weird type of narcissism in sexual experiences where people mimic the symbols of sexuality instead of understanding them. So they mimic films or movies — young people have that vibe a little bit. So “Cheekbones” is about this fascination with emaciated faces and in a way a dark love song. A dark love poem about sexuality and the commodification of sexuality — the idea of a sex tape really influenced this record. The direction of the record that we originally started out with was the soundtrack to a sex tape. In the very early stages, it was an idea that I was playing around with before it transformed into something else. “Cheekbones” is definitely a remnant of that idea of sexuality and the failures of sexuality and the triumphs. The lyrics are there to paint the setting more and are connected to an observational thing, kind of whisking through my mind like a cityscape.“

- James Ferraro

anonymous asked:

What the fuck. If they're your friend telling you about their problems, maybe try supporting them? Then they'll in turn support you? No need to be passive aggressive.

Annndddd you’ve completely missed the point. You can be a friend and be there for them and offer advice until the sun goes down, and the reason i posted that for someone, they do this. But that friend never asks them how they are in return, off their own back or if they do, it’s the last thing they ask in a string of self centred emails which over time, a ‘how are you’ loses its sincerity, turns into an afterthought, and that is a problem, thank you very much.

Some people are an object of a narcissistics supply without even realising it. This is a real thing and it happens. Google it. I’ve read up on it hundreds of times and find it pretty fascinating (thank you Otto Fenichel). To be labeled a bad friend for giving what they need (attention, love, advice, being a human diary for their thoughts and feelings) but receiving half measures or barely a shimmer of it in return is a classic case of narcissistic behaviour and it’s up to you as the receiver to differentiate the two. We’re all human, we all crave an even grounded relationship and we’re all capable of knowing when it isn’t returned because we have something called ‘feelings.’

And your message is a perfect example of the internal struggle of what being on the receiving end of a narcissist friendship feels like. You start thinking what a terrible friend you are for wanting a bit of advice and enthusiasm in your own life in return. To feel like that other person genuinely cares about you, wants to sit and find answers for your own issues. You feel like you’re in the wrong and turned into a selfish person overnight. It’s only, in my experience, when you turn to other friends and explain the situation and they tell you how it’s not right and point out you’re not getting any empathy in return that you realise you’re none of those things. And that you’ve every right to tend to your codependent, caretaking self and have every right to crave for a reciprocal relationship. We all have friends so we all know when one just isn’t normal. 

You’ve obviously never experienced someone of this nature and that’s great to hear. But don’t jump down our throats when we recognise that we’re not in a healthy relationship, because it’s not a pleasant experience and it, truthfully, hurts to go through it. You lose parts of yourself with every conversation and you’ll be left shattered with little or no confidence in that friendship left. Especially when you’ve made every effort to make it work - it’s terribly degrading, exhausting, distressing and upsetting and more common than you might think. It’s painful when the pin drops and you realise you’re in a friendship that was purely cultivated to massage the others own ego. 

No one wants to feel like they are not truly cared about by someone they’ve desperately tried to love. 

(also anon i understand that image i posted doesn’t quite convey the same story as the one i’ve written here so easily confused i guess xx)

It has to be like that (experimenting/taking on challenges) because, all this is about ‘Narcissism’. This has nothing to do with being humble. I know what I’m the best at. But I still want to do something different because it’s fun for me. Even though I’m really good at something, it’s boring for me to do the same thing every time and it’ll be boring for people who are listening to me. Every time I work on something, fun comes first. Whatever it is I think if you have fun doing it, the other things will follow. Albums sales or ranking on charts aren’t important. People only look at the score and think like, ‘He’s done now’, ‘He went too far’ but I bet Kanye doesn’t even care. That’s the same for me. When I release an album, I won’t have any regrets if people don’t like it. Because I did what I wanted to do.
—  GD (Harper’s Bazaar Magazine Interview [March 2014])
2 New Here

*Reading this on Wattpad is way more fun bc it has pictures 😫*

The first thing I do when I end up outside of the shoot in the parking lot is google myself. I’m not surprised when the first thing that comes up is a map and a compass rose. I add some key words such as ’ Kardashian’ and ‘famous’ and I’m more than shocked when the search engine spits out thousands of pictures of me.

“I’m kind of a big deal huh?” I whisper to myself as several photos of me, but at the same time not me, arrive at my fingertips. There’s pictures of me with the rest of the Kardashian clan and other people that I don’t recognize who could very damn near be 'family’.

Borderline racy photos of Justin and I surface, such as the one where both of us were topless in Ibiza. At least in this dimension my tits were spectacularly perky. I look up my 'sister’ and ’ brother’ next and read up on them.

North is huge in the ballet community, trained by Misty Copeland from age five. She still performs, but the media was currently hyping her up as a choreographer as she started choreographing music videos for Kanye and… Justin.

Saint is still in high school gunning for a track position at Stanford along with the son of Kourtney Kardashian, Reign. Apparently they were both model athletes.

I experience a sudden sense of narcissism at seeing myself in such high quality photographs that I don’t realize a missed snapchat notifications.

👻BendItLikeBeckham has sent a snap!

It takes everything in me not to screenshot the photo of Brooklyn Beckham. My fingers itch at the side and home button, but I wait it out until the picture disappears in the eloquent snapchat fashion.

👻 Lord_Mase_Disickaf has sent a snap!

Oh. Mason wasn’t a baby either. Not a baby at all. In fact, he was a young adult with glass cutting cheekbones and eyebrows that could maybe accomplish world peace. Maybe.

It’s a long shot, but I dial my mother’s number. Three rings and surprisingly, she picks up.

“Jenny Dubois! How may I help you?” She sounded chipper, and happy. Two words that I would never use to describe my mom. She never went by Jenny, only Jennifer and her last name was still her maiden name.

“I’m sorry I think I have the wrong number” I say cautiously and she actually giggles.

“Were you trying to reach JenIAm Catering?” Her happy voice doesn’t fail once and my voice catches in my throat. Mom had always talked about having her own catering business, but having me early had interrupted her business degree.

“Um no, sorry to waste your time!” I hang up quickly and attempt to steady my breathing. It nearly works, but my blood pressure spikes again when someone bangs on the glass of my window.

The tint is so darkened that it takes me a moment to realize who exactly it is. I roll down my window to greet a brunette Gigi Hadid.

“SoSo! Come on! I have to have this issue out by tonight and you’re the cover and a three pager so chop chop!” I decide to finish my research later and follow her into the studio.

“About fucking time! Where have you been bitch?” Mason Disick not only inherited his dad’s pretty eyes but also the same mildly high voice. I shrug and let myself be pulled towards him by hair and makeup.

“Are you modeling today?” He munches loudly on a French fry and then tosses the remaining end towards me. I dodge it with a precision I’ve never had before and wrinkle my nose. What an ass.

“Of course I’m modeling stupid, do you think I’d wear this on the Reg?” He’s decked out in a sequined blazer and I shrug, trying not to look too startled when a woman starts to attack my face with oval shaped makeup brushes.

“What do you mean 'wear it on the Reg?’ That came from your closet you fucking poser” A British accent promptly roasts Mason to the point of reddened cheeks and with an angry huff he leaves.

“Nori told me that you were a little under the weather, you okay SoSo?” Brooklyn Beckham offers me a kind smile and I nod, entranced by his boyish beauty.

“You haven’t spilled the tea 'ave you?” What? My confusion must’ve been evident on my face because he lets out a nervous laugh.

“I knew you wouldn’t! I’m glad I can trust you love, you’re the tits. Let Stella finish up here and I’ll meet you on set.” I give a nervous grin and wrack my brain… My new brain? My brain… For any indication of what he’s talking about.

Luckily I don’t have to search too hard for the answer.

“Becky is so excited about asking your sister to move in with, I can’t handle it anymore! North this, North that, North and East and South and West” she complains with a toss of her dark hair.

“When did this happen?” She pops her gum bubble loudly before answering,

“Remember he showed you, me, Kale, and Bobby the loft? He finalized it like yesterday… Didn’t he tell you?” I nod. He probably did. Only it wasn’t me.

“Kale?” The mention of the suburban white mom vegetable concerned me. Gigi doesn’t notice my confusion and instead starts to rant.

“Do not get me started on those Kardashians. Literally Kale and Bobby told me that they would help promo the magazine okay? Everyone knows that new things need to have a fucking launch. So I hired Bobby to DJ and Kale to promo some Bacardi or whatever and then they are like ’ sorry we can’t daddy flew us to Greece’ they are such brats

"Their dad?” Was Robert Kardashian The First alive in this universe? Gigi nods,

“Yeah your uncle Rob legit flew them out to meet him in Greece because he missed them, pathetic.” I take out my phone and type in Rob Kardashian A photo of a super skinny Rob pops up and none of his weight gain seemed to have happened here.

“You’re all set!” Stella, the makeup artist sprays my face with setting powder and Gigi hands me a garment bag that rests next to her on the chair.

“Kendall Jenner originals. She and I made this huge promo deal it’s all very… Hush hush.” I had a feeling that it wouldn’t be for long because Gigi seemed to be the type to… Over share.

The first dress is an amazing fit and I expect to teeter over to Brooklyn as I always did in heels, but my steps are graceful and filled with intent and purpose. I don’t think about falling once.

“What a dream” Brooklyn says from behind his camera and I when I smile he takes several shots.

“I almost want you on the cover of ever issue of Sí Gigi, but I promised dumbass over there that he was next” Mason lifts a lazy middle finger.

“ You’re lucky I even agreed. This isn’t Vogue” Mason scoffs and Gigi walks over to smother him with a throw pillow from the studio’s couch.

“SoSo has literally covered Vogue and all major mags and somehow she’s still humble. You’ve covered People so the fuck are you so full of yourself for?” Mason’s eyes widen, mine do too and I rapidly type in South West Vogue.

While I’m in shock Mason fights Gigi off before stomping out.

“Can you believe that he’s related to P?”


“Mhmm. She’s so freaking sweet. Your whole fam is save for fucking Mason.” I nod and continue to research my new life.

“I have ten shoots today… Well nine now” Gigi bites her lip and then shrugs.

“Reschedule, cancel, whatever you want you’re the star” an assistant hands me a smart water and I accept it gratefully.

“I can’t do that…”

“Why not?” Brooklyn plops down on the couch and takes my water before chugging it.

“We’re practically family SoSo!” He says when I make a face of disgust. I roll my eyes and study an article of Justin and I.

“What the hell?” I can’t control my reaction when a picture of my ass posted by Justin shows up. Apparently it had been trending for the past hour and a half. Brooklyn leans over, snorts and then motions for Gigi to come over.

“Aw you have your moms ass”

“North doesn’t even pack that” Brooklyn says with a laugh and as an ode to my new/ old sister  I slap him upside the head.

“How pissed do you think Kris will be if I cancel all my  'obligations’ ?” Brooklyn lets out a low whistle.

“Remember when Saint missed y'alls family Christmas card?”

“Yes” no

“ just put her on do not disturb”

“Will that work?”

“Nah, but it’ll buy you some time to hang with Justin” I raise an eyebrow.

“ we know that you guys are going to fuck in the parking lot as soon as he gets here” I choke on a nervous laugh. I was far from a virgin, but the prospect of sleeping with Justin bieber was a total-

“Dream come true!” Gigi shouts when Brooklyn hands her his camera to go through I shake my head and laugh before answering my buzzing phone.

“Hey baby I’m outside are you ready?"  With a deep breath I accept hugs from Brooklyn and Gigi before throwing on a pair of shades and heading outside.

There in a bright green Lamborghini sits Justin bieber waving with the top down and a grill shining in his mouth.


[Happy Birthday, G-Dragon! 180888 - 180814]

GD is an artist creating himself.

“ It has to be like that (experimenting/taking on challenges) because, all this is about ‘Narcissism’. This has nothing to do with being humble. I know what I’m the best at. But I still want to do something different because it’s fun for me. Even though I’m really good at something, it’s boring for me to do the same thing every time and it’ll be boring for people who are listening to me. Every time I work on something, fun comes first. Whatever it is I think if you have fun doing it, the other things will follow. Albums sales or ranking on charts aren’t important. People only look at the score and think like, ‘He’s done now’, ‘He went too far’ but I bet Kanye doesn’t even care. That’s the same for me. When I release an album, I won’t have any regrets if people don’t like it. Because I did what I wanted to do.” — GD (Harper’s Bazaar Magazine Interview, March 2014)

While so often selfies are denounced as exercises in narcissism, I’ve always experienced them as experiments in solipsism. A selfie suggests that no one else in the world sees you as you truly are, that no one can be trusted with the camera but you.
—   In Praise of Selfies, by Casey N. Cep