an anon asked me to do this with this specific quote

anonymous asked:

i know you meant well when you said 30 isnt ancient, but im nb so my life expectancy is actually 30 :(

Hey anon, I’m so sorry that that’s a fear you’ve had to live with. I know that trans people are at greater risk of violence and suicide, and I’ve heard people say many times that the life expectancy of trans people (or trans women, or trans women of color, depending on who you ask) is anywhere from 23 to 35. Your ask troubled me, so I’ve dug deep looking for solid evidence of any of these, and I don’t believe that these statistics are true.

A trans woman, Helen, looked into the “23 years” claim and traced it back to someone’s notes on two workshops at a 2007 conference, which stated that trans people’s life expectancy is “believed to be around 23” (emphasis mine) but cites no actual source. This claim has been presented as fact in many news articles since then, but as far as I can tell, no one seems to know where this figure came from.

Another claim is often sourced to an Argentine psychologist quoted in this NPR article

Psychologist Graciela Balestra, who works closely with the transgender community, says it’s an especially vulnerable population.

“Transgender people have an average life expectancy of about 30 to 32 years,” Balestra says. “They don’t live any longer; I think that statistic alone says so much.”

But again, the article gives no source for this figure

I found an article claiming that a 2014 report by the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights (IACHR) “concludes the average life expectancy of trans people in the Western Hemisphere is between 30-35 years.” However, when I tracked down the report, An Overview of Violence Against LGBTI Persons (pdf), its only reference to this is (emphasis mine): “[T]he IACHR has received information that the life expectancy of trans women in the Americas is between 30 and 35 years of age.” Again, this is no source.

Someone said on my post that these statistics may have come from the NCTE/NGLTF report Injustice at Every Turn (pdf), but I can’t find any reference to any such claim in the report.

Thinking about these claims, they seem unlikely for some basic reasons. Consider that we simply don’t have a long enough span of data on trans people, and that what data we do have is extremely limited because we can’t always know who is trans and who isn’t. Consider also that, although obviously the murder rates for trans people are extremely high, the number of deaths of 20-something trans people would have to be ENORMOUS to offset the existence of older trans people and bring the average down to 30. Especially since, unlike with racial groups for example, the data on trans people would likely include almost no childhood deaths, simply because it would be much more difficult (and in many cases impossible) to identify these children as trans. And since we know that trans women of color are extremely disproportionately affected by violence, statistics that include white people and/or trans men would be especially unlikely to be so low.

And as to your specific situation anon, again given that trans women of color are most at risk, I don’t think we have reason to believe that being non-binary specifically puts a person at anywhere near this level of increased risk of dying young.

I don’t say any of this to question anyone’s experiences or to deny the state of emergency that trans women face with regard to violence. That is very real. But I think it can be harmful, even dangerous to trans people to spread claims like this around, especially without evidence. Expecting to die by 30 would take an extreme emotional toll on anyone, and trans people deserve better.

But don’t take my word for it: FORGE, a national transgender anti-violence organization that works with trans survivors of sexual assault, wrote the following in its 2016 publication “First Do No Harm: 8 Tips for Addressing Violence Against Transgender and Gender Non-Binary People” (pdf) (I have moved two footnotes into the main text and provided links to some endnote sources; italicized emphasis is theirs while bold is mine.): 

Promote Hope for the Future

It certainly is not the same as a murder, but publicizing a low “life expectancy” rate for transwomen of color is another way to steal away their future, a “crime” that has been committed repeatedly by trans, LGBQ, and mainstream press. Think about the people you know or have heard of who have been diagnosed with a fatal illness and given a short time to live: how many of them have enrolled in college, undertaken lengthy training for a new occupation, had a new child, or tried to establish a new non-profit? A few do, certainly, but many more focus on their bucket list, arrange for their good-byes, or simply give up entirely, essentially relinquishing whatever time they have left to depression and regrets. When we tell transwomen of color they cannot expect to live very long, we rob them of hope. We rob them of any motivation to invest in themselves, their relationships, and their communities. We rob them, in short, of their lives even while they are still living. (This statement in no way negates the need to systemically work to improve and increase the life expectancy of trans people through working to end transphobia, racism, poverty, pervasive violence, and health and healthcare inequities, and more.)

One trans woman of color was trying to come to grips with an estimated lifespan figure more than ten years shorter than the one that has been published most often. (We are not repeating any of the (incorrect) estimated lifetime figures that are circulating, to avoid even inadvertent reinforcement.) Faced with the report of yet another attack on another trans woman, she wrote:

These days, I look at the latest reports of stabbed, shot, beaten trans women, search myself for tears, and I cannot find a thing. I want to mourn and rage. I want to honor all of our sisters — the hundreds each year who are ripped, namelessly and without fanfare, from this life — who are taken so young before their time. But the grief and anger — even empathy — do not come. I don’t feel anything but numbness and fatigue, and somewhere far below that, fear.

The terrible irony of the life expectancy “fact” is that it is based on an impossibility. The only ways to determine a given population’s life expectancy are to: examine decades or more of death certificates or census data containing the information being studied, or follow a specific set of individuals for around 100 years and record every single death. There is not and never has been a census of transgender people. Our death certificates do not mark us as transgender. There has been no 100-year-long study of a representative group of trans people. So where are the estimated lifespan figures coming from?

FORGE tracked the most commonly-cited figure back to what was most likely the 2014 Philadelphia Transgender Health Conference, where a workshop presenter gave the figure and explained she had calculated it by averaging the age of death for all of those listed on the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) website. This means the figure is actually the average age of those trans people who were both murdered and came to the attention of someone who added them to the TDOR list. Interestingly, this average is very close to the average age of everyone who is murdered in the U.S., according to the U.S. Department of Justice statistics. [I’m not seeing an average age given in the cited source but you can see on page 5 of this Bureau of Justice Statistics report (pdf) that the average age of homicide victims in the U.S. was between 30 and 35 from 1980 to 2008.]

But not everyone is murdered.

Despite how many there may appear to be, only a tiny, tiny fraction of transpeople are killed by other people. Most of us, transwomen of color included, live average lifespans and die of the most common U.S. killers — heart disease, cancer, chronic lower respiratory disease, and unintentional injuries (accidents).

Please don’t add to fear and hopelessness by spreading inaccurate and profoundly disempowering data.

Since I can’t respond to everyone directly, I’m @ing some people who’ve brought this up on my post and may be interested: (urls removed after posting for their privacy). I appreciate your thoughtfulness in bringing this to my attention. If you or anyone else has a source on any of these figures that can provide specific methodology, I’d be very grateful to see that.

In closing, here are some resources that provide a more hopeful view of trans aging. They are well known but I hope they will be helpful to someone.

anonymous asked:

Hey, you're awesome, thanks for existing, basically ^_^ Anyway, I wanted to know if you have any tips on how to write different personalities? My characters (all of them) always end up with the same default personality that I fall back on. Thanks!

Thanks for your question, darling!  I think most of us have struggled with this – after all, we’re conditioned to one way of thinking, feeling, and acting for as long as we live.  That doesn’t necessarily mean we write characters like ourselves, though.  In fact, many of us have a “default character” that’s sassier than we are, sweeter than we are, or in some way different enough from us that we still feel like we’re writing a character.

The problem, then, isn’t that we can’t visualize a different personality than ours.  On the whole, we can.  What we’re missing are the small details that make it feel whole – otherwise, it’s like painting the same room six different colors and trying to pass it off as six different rooms.  Different dominant traits can’t hide the fact that you’re working with one template!

So the question we’re left with: what are the traits we’re missing?  And how can we change them to create a unique and whole personality?


Three Types of Character Traits

There are, as the title suggests, three major categories of personality traits as I see it: fundamental traits, acquired traits, and detrimental traits.  A well-rounded character needs some of each to be three-dimensional and realistic.

Fundamental Traits

The fundamental traits of a person’s character are not as simple as interests and preferences; they are the very base of all decisions and desires.  They are either learned in early life or developed over a long period of time, rooting deeply into the personality.  A few examples of fundamental personality traits include:

  • Upbringing – The word choice here is conscious, as upbringing encompasses many different aspects of a person’s development.  Consider who raised them, and with what morals and practices they were raised to adulthood.  Consider their influences, both familial, social, and in media; consider the relationships that were normalized during their development, as well as the living conditions (financially, emotionally, environmentally, etc.).  The people, places, emotions, and conflicts made common during a person’s developmental period are essential to their personality in adulthood.  This is why psychologists often draw present-day problems back to a person’s childhood memories – because those formative years can subconsciously dictate so much of a person’s future!
  • Values – These may not coincide with the values a person is raised to hold, but upbringing certainly has an influence on this. A person’s values will direct the course of their life through every decision, large and small.  You don’t need to outline everything your character believes is important – every moral and every law they agree/disagree with. But those values which stand above others will give your character purpose.  A few of my favorite examples are: Jane from Jane the Virgin (whose initial storyline is heavily based on her religion and desire for a beautiful love story, as well as her childhood influences who inspired these values) and Han Solo from Star Wars (whose character development rested upon his values shifting from money and gratification to more honorable things).
  • Beliefs – Different from values, beliefs are a more general set of guidelines for how a person believes things are supposed to be.  Beliefs can also be a source of great conflict, as a character tries to stay aligned with their beliefs despite other values or desires.  These beliefs can be established systems, like religion or politics; they can also include more personal belief systems, like nihilism or veganism.  A characters beliefs, like their values, can change over the course of the story – but even if a character is questioning one system of belief, like religion or pacifism, they should have other belief systems in place to govern some of their activity.
  • Reputation – A lot of human activity, whether consciously or not, is dictated by how others perceive them (or how they believe others perceive them).  There are two types of reputation: personal and passing.  For instance, a woman named Sally who gains a personal reputation of sleeping around will behave in reaction to this reputation – either sleeping around because everyone already expects it of her, or specifically not hooking up because she wants to shake this reputation, or developing a thicker skin to deal with the rumors until it passes.  A man named Billy who, because of his tattoos, bears a passing reputation as an intimidating man will either try to soften his demeanor with strangers, own up to the image, or at least learn to expect judgment from strangers as a consequence.
  • Self-Image – Also relevant to a person’s behavior is the way they perceive themselves, which can often have little to do with their reputation.  A lot of self-image is based on definitive moments or phases in the past.  For instance: for several years after I started wearing contacts and cutting my hair, I still saw myself, in dreams at night, with long hair and glasses.  One of my friends, similarly, could not seem to notice when boys would flirt with her during sophomore year – because she still saw herself as an awkward middle schooler with braces, and not as the charming cheerleader with the great smile.
    Inversely, self-image can be inflated, causing character to behave as though they are funnier, smarter, or more prepared than they truly are (see: the rest of my sophomore acquaintances).  This can be an overlooked character flaw opportunity – or flawportunity…

Originally posted by alliefallie


Acquired Traits

Now we move on to the acquired traits of personality, which are the ones you’re more likely to find on a character sheet or a list of “10 Questions for Character Development”, alongside a million other things like their zodiac sign and their spirit animal.  But the traits I’m about to outline are a little more relevant to a character’s behavior, and more importantly, how to make this behavior unique from other characters’ behavior.  The following traits will be learned by your characters throughout their life (and their story), and are more likely to shift and grow with time:

  • Interests – I know, I had to reach deep down into my soul to think of this one.  But it’s true!  Interests, both in childhood/adolescence and in adulthood, are an important part of a character’s personality and lifestyle.  Childhood interests both reveal something about the character (for instance: my nephew loves trains, Legos, and building, suggesting a future interest in construction or engineering) and create values that can last for a lifetime.  Current interests affect career choice, social circles, and daily activity for everyone.  Forgotten or rejected interests can be the source of pet peeves, fears, or bad memories. There’s a reason I’ll never play with Polly Pockets again, and it 100% has to do with bloody fingertips and a purse that wouldn’t open.
  • Sense of Humor – This can be a little hard to define, understandably.  If you were to ask me what my sense of humor is, I’d probably start with a few stupid memes, pass by Drake & Josh on the way, and somehow wind up telling you bad puns or quoting Chelsea Peretti’s standup comedy. A person’s sense of humor can be complex and contradictory!  Sometimes we just laugh at stuff because someone said it in a funny way.  But anyway, to help you boil this down to something useful: take a look at a few kinds of comedy and relate it to your character’s maturity level.  Do they laugh when someone lets out a toot?  Are they the kind of person to mutter, “That’s what she said,” or simply try not to laugh when something sounds dirty?  Can puns make them crack a smile?  Do they like political humor?  Do cat videos kill them?  Is their humor particularly dark?  Can the mere sound of someone else laughing make them laugh?  Figure out where your character’s sense of humor is, and you’ll feel closer to them already.
  • Pet Peeves – For every interest a person may have, and everything that makes them laugh, there’s something else that can piss them off, large- or small-scale.  Are they finnicky about their living space and neatness? Do they require a lot of privacy? Do certain sounds or behaviors drive them crazy?  What qualities are intolerable in a romantic interest for them? What kind of comments or beliefs make them roll their eyes?  If you need help, just try imagining their worst enemy – someone whose every word or action elicits the best eye-rolls and sarcastic remarks and even a middle finger or two – and ask yourself, what about this person makes them that mortal enemy?  What behaviors or standards make them despicable to your character?  That’s all it takes.
  • Skills – Everybody has them, and they’re not just something we’re born with.  Skills can be natural talent, sure, but they’re also cultivated from time, values, and interests.  What is your character okay at?  What are they good at?  What are they fantastic at?  Maybe they can cook.  Maybe they have a beautiful eye for colors.  Maybe they have an inherent sense of right and wrong that others admire. Maybe they’re super-athletic or incredibly patient or sharp as a tack or sweet as a cupcake.  Maybe they know how to juggle, or maybe they’re secretly the most likely of all their friends to survive a zombie apocalypse.  Where do they shine?  What would make someone look at them and think, “Wow, I wish I were them right now”?
  • Desires – A good way to “separate” one character from the next is to define what it is they want, and then use every other detail to dictate how they pursue that goal.  Every real person has a desire, whether they’ve defined it or not – whether it’s something huge, like fame or a family of five with triplet girls and a beach house on an island, or something small, like good grades for the semester.  These desires can cause a person to revise their values or forsake their morals; and these desires can conflict with other people’s desires, influencing how people interact with each other.  Remember that every character is living their own story, even if it’s not the story you’re telling.
  • Communication Style – A majorly overlooked character trait in pop fiction is unique communication styles.  Having every character feel comfortable arguing, or bursting out with the words, “I love you,” is unrealistic.  Having every character feel paralyzed at the idea of confronting a bully or being honest to their spouse is also unrealistic.  There should be a healthy mix of communicators in a group of characters. Some people are too softspoken to mouth off at their racist lab partner.  Some people wouldn’t see their girlfriend kissing another guy and just walk away without saying something.  Some people just don’t react to conflict by raising their voice; some people enjoy sharing their opinions or giving the correct answer in class.  Boldness, social skills, and emotional health all have a part to play in how people communicate their thoughts – so keep this in mind to create a more realistic, consistent character.
  • Emotional Expression – Along the same lines but not the same, emotional expression is more focal on feelings than thoughts.  If you’ve ever heard of the fight-or-flight response, the different types of anger, the stages of grief, or the five love languages, then you’re aware of different “classifications” of emotional expression and management.  Read up on some of those things, and think about how your character handles emotions like happiness, sadness, fear, anger, loneliness, paranoia, and so forth.

Detrimental Traits

While acquired traits are certainly more enjoyable to brainstorm during the creation process, detrimental traits are as important – or even more important – to the character’s wholeness as well as their role in the story.  Not only do these negative or limiting traits make your character realistic, relatable, and conflicted – they create a need for other characters and their strengths to move the plot forward.  A few examples of detrimental traits include:

  • Flaws – Character flaws are probably the first thing that came to your mind while reading this, but they’re the essence of the category.  Flaws in a character’s personality, morality, or behavior can be a source of character development; they set an individual on their own path and provide a unique motivation for them.  Having Character A struggle with sobriety while Character B learns to be a more patient mother can do a lot to separate their stories and personalities from each other.  Even if certain flaws don’t reach a point of growth, they create a third aspect to personality and force us, as writers, to be more creative with how our characters get from Point A to Point B, and what they screw up along the way.
  • Fears – Everyone has fears, whether we’re conscious of them or not – and I’m not talking about phobias or “things that give you shivers”.  Just like everyone has a primary motivation throughout life (romance, family, success, meaning, peace of mind, etc.), everyone has a fear behind that motivation (loneliness, failure, emptiness, anxiety).  We all have something we don’t want to happen places we never want to be and things we never want to do.  We’ve all been in situations that mildly bothered others but wildly affected us at the same time.  For me, it’s a lack of autonomy, or in any way being forced to do something or be somewhere against my will.
    What does this mean for me?  It means that when other people have nightmares about being chased by an axe murderer, I have nightmares about being kidnapped and locked up.  It means that I’m continually aware of my “escape plan” if something goes wrong in my living situation, and I’m hypersensitive to someone telling me, “You have to do this.”  It means I struggle to follow rules and usually don’t get along with authority figures because I have to assert my independence to them.  It’s irrational and continual and doesn’t just affect me in one situation; it subconsciously directs my steps if I let it.  That’s how real, guttural fears work. Phobias are only skin deep, and they don’t make you feel any closer to the character.

Originally posted by giantmonster

  • Secrets – Even goody two-shoes Amber from the swim team, with her blonde blonde hair and her good good grades, has a secret.  Everybody does, even if it’s not a purposeful, “I have a deep, dark secret,” sort of secret. We have things we don’t tell people, just because they’re embarrassing, or painful, or too deep to get into, or they don’t paint us in a good light.  While the secrets themselves tell a lot about a person, so do the reasons a person keeps a secret.  Hiding something out of shame suggests a person is prideful, or critical of themselves, or holds themselves to a higher standard than they hold others.  Hiding something painful suggests that the person struggles to handle sadness or regret, or that they feel uncomfortable showing raw emotion in front of loved ones. And so on and so forth.
  • Conflict – Whether internal, interpersonal, legal, moral, societal, or what have you, conflict will limit your character’s actions at every turn.  A story is nothing without conflict driving the plot in different directions and causing your character to rethink both their plans and their lifestyle.  Without Katniss’s moral conflict over killing other tributes, The Hunger Games would be the story of a girl who entered an arena, killed a lot of people, and lived the rest of her life rich and comfortable.  If Luke Skywalker didn’t have interpersonal conflict with Darth Vader, Star Wars would be the war-story of a guy who joined a rebellion and then… yeah.
  • Health – Physical, mental, and emotional health is a huge limiting factor for characters that often goes untouched, but it’s valuable nonetheless.  Not everyone has a clean bill of health and can jump off trains without pulling a muscle, go through a traumatic life experience without any hint of depression or anxiety, or watch a loved one die in gunfire and shove right on without emotional repercussions. Consider creating a character who’s not perfect – who isn’t perfectly in-shape or abled, or neurotypical or stable day-to-day, or completely clean and clear of residual heartache, unhealthy relationships, or bad emotional habits.  Don’t define them by these traits, of course – but don’t feel that you can’t write a character with health issues without writing a “sick character.”

So this post got ridiculously long, but I hope it works as a reference for you when creating unique characters.  Remember that you don’t need to outline all of this information to create an individual, realistic character.  These are just some relevant ideas to get you started!  It’s up to you, as the writer, to decide what’s necessary and what’s excessive for your creative process.

Still, I hope a majority of this is helpful to you!  If you have any more questions, be sure to send them in and we’ll get back to you :)  Good luck!

- Mod Joanna ♥️


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask us!

anonymous asked:

I am a bit new so my opinion isn't 100% firm about harry and Louis relationship yet and the biggest thing that makes me ??? is that I don't understand how it is possible that there is such a difference between their situation.. do you have any idea why Harry is able to seems detach from all the mess and not Louis? How is that possible? That one seems incredibly stuck in the worst stunts ever and the other one is pursuing his career free of all of that? Thank you :)

Hi anon,

Sorry– I forgot about this ask for a few days.

I guess your question might have been prompted by Harry’s appearance in NYC last week, with Jeff Azoff. He was rumored to be meeting with Columbia records re: his solo album.

The next day, The Daily Mail in the U.K. published an article stating as much, contrasting Harry’s beatific airport pap photos (and photos with stalkers) to Louis’s disastrous LAX arrest. Unsubstantiated slander of “woman-hitting,” emotionally volatile Louis was reiterated in this article. He was again painted as an unreliable father. All stories we’ve read before from U.K. tabloids associated with the Bauer Group, with ties to Simon Cowell.

Read more about this connection here:
http://bulletproofhalo.tumblr.com/post/158537313651/our-old-friend-bauer-media-group

I guess my line of answering is:

Harry hasn’t done anything to encourage this line of thinking. He literally has not given any statement on it. He has not given a statement about his solo album, either. It’s not because he is being coy–because he clearly is getting some blowback from fans about why he hasn’t said anything. Fans are curious and impatient. His image has suffered too.

And making a public statement, in the general public’s eyes, would only improve his image and increase his visibility. It benefits Harry to make a statement.

So why hasn’t he?

Why haven’t his managers at Full Stop? Why don’t they address industry rumors? Why are there so many leaks coming from Sony, including statements by Rob Stringer, while Harry’s team has said nothing? What is Sony’s objective in publicizing Harry if Harry does not confirm?

Alternatively, why has Louis’s team said nothing to refute his public image?

These allegations are clearly slanderous. Louis has not been tried in a court of law. No one has given sworn testimony. His arraignment date has not come to pass. Emotional states are purely speculative. No official statements have come from anyone quoted in the article. His image has suffered from false allegations (U.K. And U.S.A.).

So where is his team?

And, why are these two always tied? If they have been enemies for three or four years, why keep writing articles linking them?

They’ve been on hiatus for 15 months. If they really disliked each other so much, they should already have deleted each other from phone contacts, SM, etc. Why keep in touch with your enemy? I don’t store the contact information of people who hate me, anon, do you?

Their airport sightings literally HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER. They aren’t even on the same side of the country. What is the purpose of linking them?

If I knew nothing about One Direction, I would experience a cognitive dissonance from the way the article swerved so awkwardly from “angelic Harry” to “devilish Louis.” The purpose seems so transparent, it’s embarrassing.

Except for one glaring fact.

They DON’T hate each other.

The band united to support Louis during his X Factor performance.

They came together as one band to accept their Brits for best video 2016. @srslycris and @lawyerlarrie
have great posts about this.

They tweeted in unity to wish Harry a happy 23rd birthday.

As Harry’s has said, “Draw what you see.”

1. There are restrictions on their public statements.
2. The images are being manipulated.
3. Their relationship with each other is good.
4. None of the four remaining 1D band members have been allowed to be specific about their solo projects.
5. Louis has been photographed to write with songwriters from Warner Chapel. He may very well have a solo album in the works. They are all working hard.
6. They are fighting a silent, bts, very ugly and drawn-out fight.
7. Recording labels have a history of screwing artists over.

Believe in our boys. They are the same good people you fell in love with. They haven’t suddenly been blinded by fame. They want to make music for us, and they have been working toward that. Every event and every article doesn’t need to be dissected for whether Harry is defending Louis. Trust them.

The people manipulating their image want us to have doubts, to fight within the fandom. Not only that, they are trying to divide the band members themselves. For years, the boys have had psychological manipulation in the guise of “protecting the 1D brand,” down to the way they move, talk, dress, look at each other, answer certain questions. Zayn’s recent article in NY Times Sunday stated he had anxiety when he was in 1D. He had an eating disorder because he wanted “to have control over one thing.” Is that really a surprise?

It’s infuriating, what’s happening to Louis right now. But it’s temporary. It’s going to end. This abuse has an end clause. Art is long– Louis is young and he’s going to fight it, with the support of his boys.

Sorry I went off in such a tangent, but I wish we could see past these media games, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Let’s be smart in evaluating the data, and not be so easily manipulated.

Sea

anonymous asked:

You don't need to respond I just needed to say a thing. I find it a little childish for so many people to assume that dan will/should come out. As far as I've read into it I feel like he's "come out" as much as he ever will. He's talked about attraction to all genders. I feel that he's made it clear that his sexuality is what it is and he's going to be attracts to someone no matter the gender. People think he needs to make a video about being bi/pan but really he's made clear that he's existing.

the question i receive more than any other on this blog is some variation of “when/how do you think dnp will come out/tell us about their sexualities or their relationship?” and i’ve never answered it. for a number of reasons, but primarily because so many people in this space operate under such a specific definition of what coming out means and what it should entail. i’m wary, always, of subscribing to a uniform standard for what queerness looks like and how it needs to present itself in order to be taken seriously or treated as valid, and i think the discourse and speculation and constant obsession about dnp’s potential future coming out process does exactly that. in my view the culture around coming out as it exists right now is a relic of cultural norms in which queerness was differentiated and encoded into law and language and social thought as explicitly and intrinsically Other. the socialized obligation to not only categorize and label one’s sexual/romantic preferences but then to announce them to the world at large is only cast on queer people specifically because, unless announced otherwise, society’s working assumption of a person is that they are cis/straight. queer people need to tell the world they are queer precisely because it is different, because it is a deviation from a socially enforced “norm,” and the term “coming out” itself denotes that someone was once hiding themselves and now they aren’t.

for some people (many people) labeling and coming out make a lot of sense. we’re not in a post-heteronormative world. the stark reality is that people DO operate with ingrained cis- and heteronormative frames of thought and it can be tiring to deal with people always making assumptions of your preferences that don’t fit who you are and what you like. labeling your preferences and making sure people know them is a way to avoid those mistaken assumptions. it’s also a way to find other people like you, to ally yourself with a community that is still so marginalized and oppressed in myriad ways, and join in the movement and the fight and take pride in an aspect of yourself that many people would try to deride or malign. but an alternate school of thought is that the gender you prefer having sex with or that you fall in love with is no more a part of your identity that merits announcement and discussion than, say, your preference for masturbating three times a week or your preference for only having sex in the missionary position or any other personal detail about what you do w your genitals in the privacy of your bedroom. it doesn’t have to have a bearing on identity in the most nuclear and concentrated sense of the word, it doesn’t HAVE to be labeled and addressed in a way that automatically reduces and categorizes it and neatly packages it as an object for the public to talk about and weigh in on. the notion of labeling your sexuality and then “coming out” is a construct in the most literal sense, and for some people, who perhaps don’t feel the need to correct everyone’s heteronormative assumptions of them, or who don’t feel the need to find other people with non-hetero preferences, or who think the reality of the life they live since they blatantly/openly share it w someone of their same gender is already pretty suggestive of their preferences, coming out widely and publicly isn’t a priority or a necessity (and in some cases can obviously also be a discomforting, stressful, scary, or even dangerous prospect!!!) for literally thousands of possible reasons.

we can guess that dnp align themselves more closely to this latter outlook. in both of the recent times that dan has discussed sexuality explicitly he talks about not wanting to label it for a public audience. in his diss track he directly addresses his own comments about attraction to more than one gender (j law –> evan p), and then says that it’s hard to put him in a box because he keeps “it” (his sexuality) so blurry. he’s bluntly saying that he doesn’t want to be categorized. in an interview with the sunday times in late 2015 promoting tabinof, the interviewer directly asks dan if he’s gay. dan references tom hardy’s answer to the same question and says that he and phil do not believe that their sexual preferences are something the public has any business knowing–he then delineates the purpose of their role as public figures. they are entertainers and what they seek to offer their public audience is the content they make. that’s it. looking to tom hardy’s actual quote sheds even more light: “I’m under no obligation to share anything to do with my family, my children, my sexuality — that’s nobody’s business but my own…It’s important destigmatizing sexuality and gender inequality in the workplace, but to put a man on the spot in a room full of people designed purely for a salacious reaction? To be quite frank, it’s rude. If [someone] had said that to me in the street, I’d have said the same thing back: ‘I’m sorry, who the fuck are you?’”

as far back as 2009, both dnp were talking about attraction to men and following it with the refrain that they don’t like labels. and that is VALID. it’s transgressive, even, to take a look at all the heteronormativity out there, all of the assumptions that people make about sex and gender and everything else, all of the demand that straights place on queer people to announce their otherness as loudly as possible and categorize themselves as being different, and then to say no, reject all of that pressure, and turn your back on it. refuse to comply with everyone’s expectations and just be happy in liking what you like and loving who you love. just existing, as anon put it so beautifully.

but if a queer person chooses this outlook, chooses to shirk labels and a formal/public statement of their preferences, the default assumption SHOULD NOT be straight. heterosexuality shouldn’t be an assumed sexuality for anyone, regardless of the statements they may or may not have made, but it especially should not be the assumption for two men who did publicly label at one point as bisexual, and who have repeatedly voiced attraction to men. in an attempt to move towards a society that doesn’t make assumptions at all, a world in which coming out is completely obsolete and unnecessary and people stopped giving so much of a fuck about the genders people have sex with, it’s on all of us to change the way that we think about sexuality and unlearn our own biased thought. the burden shouldn’t fall on dnp to correct our thought or go out of their way to tell us that they fuck or that they’re in love–doesn’t that cheapen everything that they are? doesn’t that demand something of them that they’ve said over and over they do not want to give? and haven’t they done enough to tell us about how they experience attraction? it’s on all of us to take those comments seriously and to validate and acknowledge their experiences as they relay them to us, and to contextualize them in the complex textures and nuances of who they are as people.

who they are and what they’ve already chosen to share with us is pretty damn radical in itself: they’re two boys who have shared and built a life together for nearly eight years and who rely on each other on so many levels. they’re two boys who speak of the love and respect they have for each other in numerous ways, perhaps without stating those words specifically, but making it clear through actions and stories of their time together instead. they’re two boys who don’t know how to be without each other, who don’t merely coexist and work together but who have consciously interwoven their lives to the point that all of their experiences are shaped with and through each other. the argument can be made that they’re “out” in the sense of not hiding who they are from us, in the sense that both of them, and dan especially, have taken conscious measures to talk about how much they like boys. the argument can equally be made that they still hide to some degree–they won’t hold hands or hug, they’ll separate beds if they’re showing us the inside of their hotel room, they’ll not say the words i love you in front of us. but to me none of that even incrementally eclipses the glowing reality and warmth of the life they share–it’s as much info as i think they will ever feel okay giving us and it’s more than enough, for me at least, to look to them as models of deepest mutual love and respect (yes between two men!!) and of the comfort that can arise when you find someone to just exist with, outside world and their asks of you be damned

anonymous asked:

I'm really sad about something I don't understand and was hoping you could explain. Why do people block without giving a reason to? I don't why it first seems like it's all going so well then the next you're blocked and you don't know why or what you did or said wrong? It's happened twice now and to say it hurts is an understatement.

Oh, my precious Kabby babies.  Circle up, it’s time for some firm but gentle life advice from Mom. 

First of all, unless I personally am the person who blocked you (which I’m obviously not since we’re having this conversation!), in a very real sense the short answer to this question is that you know I can’t actually answer this question.  You’re asking me to tell you why a person I don’t know did a thing for which I have no context, and for which there could be a thousand reasons. So in a concrete, specific sense, my answer is: I do not know.

However.

(You knew there was going to be a however.)

Social media is a deeply personal avenue for self-expression and it’s also a world where many of us spend a great deal of our time, which means that we have the full and free right to customize it into exactly what we want it to be.  The things that you post are personal reflections of you, which is  why it bums you out when someone mutes or blocks or doesn’t follow back; it feels on some level like a personal rejection.  But the space you curate is also a personal reflection of you.  You have the right to post anything you want and other people have the right to choose not to see it.  Both of those rights are equal, even though you’re only on one side so naturally the other one feels like it’s in some way “wrong.”  

I’m speaking with zero context for what your preexisting relationship with these people was beforehand (like obviously if it was a close friend and they blocked you out of nowhere, you’re going to have to sort that out with them directly, I can’t advise you there), but it’s important to remember that there may be no “right” and wrong” in this scenario.  It’s fully possible for both of these things to peacefully coexist at the same time:

1) your absolute right to feel a little bit rejected and hurt that a stranger on the internet made the choice that they didn’t want your social media sphere to overlap with their social media sphere,

and

2) that other person’s absolute right to say “if something or someone makes me feel even the tiniest bit ‘nope’ I am purging it out of this space so it is exactly what I want and need it to be.” 

They don’t need to have a reason.  That sucks, when you’re on the receiving end of it, which all of us have been - it truly and genuinely sucks - but it’s also reality.  One of the hard truths that incidents like this make us sometimes have to face - and we don’t want to face these things, because they can feel really icky and vulnerable and ping all the little gremlins in our brain  - is this:

nobody on the internet owes you their time or attention for anything you do or say.

This sounds mean and brutal, and I don’t mean it to be, because you know mom loves you, but it’s incredibly important, so I’m going to say it again to make sure that if nothing else, this gets through:

nobody on the internet owes you their time or attention for anything you do or say.

The celebs you stan don’t owe you a response to your tweet, just because you want one.  The people you tag in meta don’t owe you reblogging it to continue having that conversation with you forever, just because you want to prove you’re right.  The fans of the fic you write for your most popular ship don’t owe you crossing over to give you hits on your rare-pair fic if they don’t feel like it.  Nobody owes you a certain number of followers, nobody owes you a response to every anon you send them, nobody owes you finishing that fic you like in time for them to read it when they feel like reading it.  We owe each other one thing and one thing only: basic human decency.  That’s it.  Everything else is freely offered to the world, and freely taken by the people who want it.  It’s not a transactional exchange.  If you make art or write fic and you put it out there into the world, you’ve done a cool thing, and whether it gets ten hits or thousands it was still worth doing.  There will be people who aren’t interested, but if you get hung up on feeling rejected by that, it will paralyze you.

Social media is personal. That’s unavoidable.  It’s an extension of ourselves.  When someone is cruel to you or to one of your friends on the internet, even if it’s an anonymous stranger, it feels shitty.  When you express an opinion about something and a ton of people reblog it and the tags are full of “OMG YES THISSSSS”, it feels great.  We all experience that in different ways.  Society has always selected arbitrary measures for young girls and women to live up to in order to feel like they’re popular or they’re approved by the cool kids, and right now it’s things like “how many followers do you have” and “did you get an RT from a celebrity” and “how many likes on your posts”.  So on a primal level, maybe having someone you thought was a friend block you on Twitter or Tumblr hits you in the same deep core place as having the cool kids not come to your birthday party.  That feeling is super real!  It brings up alllllll that deep stuff we try to hide and pretend that we’re above experiencing, but we all have those squishy vulnerable inner selves that just need the cool kids to like us and we feel bad when they don’t.  

I had this exact conversation with my therapist a few weeks ago when she was giving me a hard time because my book has 60 reviews on Amazon, of which like the majority are 5 stars with two negative ones, and I have both the negative ones like memorized.  And she was like “CLAIRE.  WHAT THE HELL.  WHY DO YOU DO THIS?  58 POSITIVE AND YOU CANNOT QUOTE A SINGLE ONE.  TWO SHITTY ONES AND YOU KNOW THEM VERBATIM.  THAT IS NOT HEALTHY BEHAVIOR.”  And I was like “… . okay fine when you put it that way, yes I do sound like a crazy person.”  So like my advice to you – advice which I have just proven I am absolute garbage at taking myself, so like I may have just eroded my own credibility in my efforts to help – is to remember that you probably have a lot more than two followers so honestly this is probably not a bad collective ratio, and there may be lots of people who are very interested in what you have to say but you’ve focused a lot of your energy on these two people and it’s worth giving some thought as to why that is.

My question for you is this: what is the net negative impact of having these two people block you on social media? Like in an actual, concrete way, separate from those sort of core gut “I feel unloved in this moment” feelings, what is the effect on your life?  You might be surprised.  It might be zero.  In which case, let yourself feel those feelings, experience them as valid, and then breathe through them and move on and keep on doin’ you. 

I’m pushing back on you a little bit here very gently because it feels, reading this anon, like you’ve made a determination of hurtful intent on the part of the person who blocked you, or at the very least a certainty that this choice that made was about you and not about them.  That the fact that things seemed to be going fine and then they blocked you means you were somehow intentionally misled or mistreated.  Be really, really, really careful about deciding the cool girl didn’t come to your birthday party because she’s a bitch who wanted to make you feel terrible and is sitting somewhere cackling at the thought of your sad lil’ face waiting by the front door; maybe she didn’t come to your birthday party because she has depression and it’s hard for her to leave the house sometimes and she knew your party would be loud and wild and crazy and too much for her brain to handle right now. Be careful about presuming negative intent with no proof it exists.  The internet makes this so easy, the internet conditions us for this, and it conditions us to respond in kind. The worst thing you could do here is to, like, make a callout post or subtweet in the hopes that it will get back to them and they’ll feel bad, or to sic your other followers onto them, because that turns this into a situation that really does have a right and wrong; and since you don’t know if they were trying to make you feel shitty, or just went on a big block/mute purge to whittle their list down for mental health reasons that are totally their own, once things escalate you can’t put the horse back in the barn. It’s too late.  Now it’s A Thing, when maybe it never really needed to be A Thing.  And in almost all situations for almost all people in almost all ways, Kabby Mom’s advice is going to be, “please think carefully before you make this A Thing.”

This got long, I’ve been having a lot of thoughts lately about the conversations I’m always having with fandom folks the way we let social media permeate and shape our sense of self, in good ways and bad, so I apologize for my verbosity but also not really because that’s how things roll over in Kabby Mom’s Advice Corner.  But I will sum up in bullet points for those of you who have been skimming, to bring you up to speed:

  1. Everyone has the right to curate their own social media space however they see fit, and they don’t have to explain their reasons.
  2. They aren’t obligated to include you in that space even if you want them to.
  3. None of that is an objective measure of your worth as a person or a sign that you should stop being you on the internet.
  4. Your feelings of rejection come from a real place and you get to feel them, as long as
  5. You are striving to move through them without permitting them to paralyze you, and finally
  6. You never use someone else’s choice to curate their social media sphere as a justification for treating them like crap.

Focus on your positive interactions instead of negative ones – your friends, creating stuff and putting it out into the universe – whether it be art, fic, opinions, a podcast, gifsets, crackposts, whatever – and your social media world will be a better place.

In the immortal words of the great Michael J. Fox, “What other people think of me is none of my business.”

anonymous asked:

Ok, I'm absolutely in love with your persuasion au. I didn't know how much I needed something like this until I read it. It's a treasure. Thank you SO MUCH for it! Can I ask you why do you ship rebelcaptain? as a deep question, I just want to read your thoughts about them 'cause you write so well

First, thank you for the compliment on my Persuasion AU! I’m glad you like it! And I’m going to get working on the next chapter of it now that I’ve written this 1,400+ word treatise I wrote on rebelcaptain because of your question lol.

Chemistry

Diego Luna and Felicity Jones have and had amazing chemistry as Jyn and Cassian. The eye contact, the lack of personal space, and the passion they conveyed as their characters with and without words was really impressive. Even when Jyn and Cassian were arguing and angry with one another, you got the sense that they fought as they did because the other person mattered. Their arguments are never about romance, but they were about the important basics of any relationship, romantic or platonic: truth, trust, faith, belief, and how you choose to act (or whether you choose to act at all).

But their chemistry isn’t just sexual or romantic. They also have chemistry as a battle duo. They work together well almost instantly. When she’s sporting for a fight on Jedha, he knows exactly when to pull her back. When a Partisan bomb is about to blow her to bits, he saves her—it’s not a question. On Scarif, they seem in sync the whole time from when she gives her speech to when they die together on the beach. They don’t question the other because there’s implicit trust and they seem to instinctively understand that what the other person is doing is the right or best way. They’re on the same page if you will.

Individually and Individuality

I love them as individual characters. They are my murder son and my murder daughter.
They both have defined and deep character arcs in the movie, and they grow because of it. They act as catalysts for the other for the change to come. They grow because they met each other, and they do so in the platonic sense.

Jyn’s forced herself into apathy because she’s been hurt, abandoned, and traumatized by “the cause” and the battle between the Rebels and the Empire. She lost both her parents. She was abandoned by her foster parent. She was stripped of anything that ever felt safe, that felt like home. The passion and fight intrinsic to her personality was temporarily snuffed out. She’s given so much but what has she gotten back but misery? She now only fights for herself. But meeting and knowing Cassian reawakens that passion and drive in her. The catalyst moment is when he gives her his trust on the U-wing to Jedha, and it builds from there. He pushes back against her resistance, and where others may have not cared enough to do that, he does, and that fight wakes her up again. Then he offers her a home and a family in him (and Kaytoo, Baze, Chirrut, and Bodhi). Thet cause, which has only taken from her, has given her something back. It has given her people she cares about and who care for her to fight for.

For Cassian, after 20 years of war, I think part of what traps him in this prison of his own making is that he feels like he’s fighting for abstractions now. He’s lost everything and everyone he cares about. There’s only the cause, and it’s made him do terrible things that have been cutting him into little pieces. But then he meets Jyn, and she’s not an abstraction. But it’s not love or love for her that acts as a catalyst for his change: it’s her inner fire. I think he sees in her what he used to see in himself. It reminds him of what he’s fighting for, in part, too, because he sees the tremendous losses she has also suffered at the hands of the fight. In her push to go to Scarif, she also gives him a specific way he can justify everything he has done as a soldier. And like it is for Jyn, I think Cassian finds himself now with people he cares for specifically, people for whom he fights (aka the found family he has personally collected over the course of a week).

Complementary Personalities

I like the idea of opposites attract, but I love more the idea of complementary personalities who share a lot of similarities. I think Jyn and Cassian fit this bill. They’re both orphaned child soldiers (essentially). They’re both passionate fighters. They are iron-willed, confident, resolute, and strong people. They’re different enough, though, that they can balance the other out.

They are complete people when they meet—there’s no need for one to “complete the other”; it’s rather like I argue above, that parts of them have gone dormant, and meeting each other brings them back to life; they fill in the cracks.
And they are equals. There’s no power differential. Sometimes he takes lead. Sometimes she does. They’re a team. It’s beautiful.

Intimacy

The intimacy between these two characters scrambles my brain, to be honest. The first time I saw the movie, it didn’t hit me until late (HI, ELEVATOR SCENE), but it hit me hard when it did. The intimacy in that elevator scene goddamit it—it made everything click for me. Not just the shipping but like, the wholeness of their character arcs. They are both initially cast as loners who guard themselves really closely from others—from affection, from attachment, from any ties to another living thing. But in that elevator scene, it’s all there flashing in their faces. For the first time, Jyn looks soft and lost as he stares at him in the darkened space, a whole future they won’t get to live flashing before her eyes. For him, he looks at her like she’s the only person in the galaxy that matters, and for him too, it’s colored by this sadness of what if. How long has it been since he’s been touched like this? When was the last time he had someone he could love before now?

With the idea of intimacy, too, I would argue that they both let their guard down around one another in a way they don’t with anyone else. Cassian is supposed to be this cool-headed, seasoned solider and spy, but he meets Jyn and is almost immediately running around, disobeying orders, screaming her name, saving her at all cost to his own life and to the cause. Maybe this is how he’s always felt about things, but he’s been able to push it all down before. He can’t with her. She’s triggered something in him that makes him feel. Jyn can also read him like no one else can. He’s an open book in her hands.

And for Jyn, because he’s shown her the first semblance of trust in years, the fact that he just refuses to ever leave her behind, opens her up. Even with Saw, she puts on this air of “don’t care” (“It’s not a problem if you don’t look up”). Again, the personal space issues! The touching and closeness (she touches his arm when they get the clearance to enter Scarif; she notes how he smells [of blaster oil and Eadu dirt]; elevator, beach, he’s the most beautiful person she’s ever seen etc etc.).

He makes her care about someone again because he cares for her. If you watch the scene on the beach when they hold hands—note how Jyn reaches for his hand first. But when she does, it’s tentative and unsure. He senses her hesitation and then he reaches out and takes it.
And the hug to end all hugs. I can’t even.

Unrealized potential

With most of what I ship, it’s usually the unrealized potential that sets my brain on fire. I love a good established couple (Baze and Chirrut) but because they seem to have had their happiness or their happy ending, it doesn’t tug at the heart strings as hard. I don’t actively ship because I don’t have to wonder. To quote one of my favorite shows, Veronica Mars:

Veronica: Come on. Ruined lives? Bloodshed? You really think a relationship should be that hard?

Logan: No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.

And I still contend that I’d ship them just as hard if they had survived and the ending of Rogue One hadn’t given us an explicitly romantic ending (kissing, declarations) because it would still be unrealized potential. Their deaths just make it more tragic and force more sad whale noises from my mouth.

anonymous asked:

I was reading your rendition of Just Hold On, (which was simply marvelous), and I wondered. Sweet Creature was made shortly after Harry's birthday. And the letter of SOTT, also passes a message that is to hold. Do you think these songs have any relation? It's hard to think of coincidences when it comes to Harry and Louis.

Hi!

I had some vague thoughts about the relationship between JHO and SOTT, and this question forced me to focus my thoughts. So here they are. 

Previously, I had talked about JHO as a song of affirmation and reassurance following Jay’s death. But JHO is also a love song, as the music video showed us. Not merely a love song, but a love song with pointed references to Harry and Louis (the jacket colors, the baseball cap/ fedora, the first meeting in a concert and then meeting later outside of the concert, the travel to multiple music venues around the world, the love that is not only intoxicating but domestic and ends in marriage).

SOTT also has pointed references to Jay. Harry says in his Rolling Stone interview, “The song is written from a point of view as if a mother was giving birth to a child and there’s a complication. The mother is told, ‘The child is fine, but you’re not going to make it.’ The mother has five minutes to tell the child, ‘Go forth and conquer.‘”

I had sort of dismissed this quote, but after reading this post, I could be convinced of the song as a description of Jay’s wish for her child’s career to blossom– as a way of saying good-bye, but also giving her blessing to her child. The child’s “birth” is the career coming to fruition.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm currently having a dilemma were I feel like I'm "too late" to cosplay. As if, everyone who is already cosplaying has mastered it and become presentable, where as I'm just starting out and don't even light a candle to most of the crowd. I really adore everyones craftsmanship, and it's an incredible hobby to be apart of. But no matter how many tutorials I see I feel like I simply don't have the skill/talent to put together a cosplay, or as if I can't be a beginner. Has anyone been thru this?

Hello there!

Sorry that you feel that way about cosplay. It should be something fun, but if you feel inadequate, that can take away from it.

Know that it’s perfectly okay to be a beginner. Cosplay is a growing hobby, and people are getting into it all the time. There’s no shame in being new! I’d guess that the cosplayers who are relatively new at a con probably vastly outnumber those who have been doing it for 5+ years (who outnumber those of us who have been doing it 10+ years, etc.). Just remember that there’s a reason why you see so many “cosplay 101″ panels at cons, and why help sites like this one can exist: because so many people are getting into the hobby or looking for ways to get into the hobby that this kind of thing can be sustained.

The thing about skill is that it’s something that comes with practice. No one is amazing at something on their first try. It takes time and experience to get good at something, and it’s hard work. You can’t compare yourself to someone who has been cosplaying for a number of years and has more skills and more resources than you. Only compare yourself to your previous self. Did you learn how to make a new type of clothing, even if it’s not perfect? Great! Your next version will be better. Did you have a problem with something and it didn’t turn out? That can be discouraging, but you learned something from it, and now you can apply that knowledge to future projects. Reading tutorials will only get you so far. You have to actually do things.

Also, there’s no shame in starting small. You want to get into cosplay but can only do minimal sewing? Modify pre-made garments. This can also help you learn how things are constructed. Make simple outfits to begin with. Most complex costumes are just lots of simpler sewing techniques put together, and while this takes time to do, it can help to think of a more complex outfit as smaller pieces rather than as a big complex whole. Your first cosplay doesn’t have to be (and shouldn’t be!) a super elaborate hand-beaded Sakizou design, for example, or a full suit of armor. Learning how to make simple things so that they fit well and have clean construction will be much more useful and much more impressive in terms of construction than trying to tackle something far outside your skill level.

It also helps to take things slowly and set reasonable goals. Say you want to make a whole costume in a year. Set a goal so that you make the skirt one month, the bloomers another month, the top another month, and the accessories another month. Take your time with the items, and remake them if needed. Break down each piece into even smaller pieces – make your goal for that week to learn to sew a zipper, or learn to sew elastic, and then work your way up to the more complex princess seams on the top, and then the more complex boning in the top, and then the most complex item, such as a small bit of embroidery. Make mockups and practice pieces (I /still/ make practice pieces for new techniques) so that you can do the technique a few times before doing the final piece. Learning skills in small, manageable chunks will make it less overwhelming, and you’ll learn how to put things together in a practical way that can then be applied to a more complex outfit next time.

You can also enter a contest that has a beginner skill division. Ask for advice from the judges on how to improve. Attend a con in normal clothes or a storebought costume and see how you feel about that. Take some of the pressure off, and refocus a bit on other aspects of cosplay before tackling a project.

Also, keep in mind that a lot of what you see online and the viral images you see of cosplays are the “best” images – the most impressive construction, the best photography, and any “flaws” are often hidden in creative photography or photoshopped out, etc. (Of course, “best” is super subjective here, and there is no “best” way to cosplay, hence the quotes, but I think my meaning is clear.) The average cosplay at a con doesn’t look like that, certainly not while walking around the floor, and there are a lot of beginners around, or people who cosplay for reasons other than the construction, and there is nothing wrong with that. I’d actually recommend looking at con coverage photos and videos, or digging through the tags for local cons. You’ll often see photos here that are hall shots (not staged photoshoots), usually taken by fans of the series because they like the character, not because the cosplayer looks like they just stepped off a movie set. Look at photos and videos of crowds and gatherings. You’ll see a lot of cosplayers there of all skill levels – you’ll fit right in no matter what your costume looks like. 

And hey, a lot of attendees will see your costume and be amazed by it even if you only see flaws! People are often just excited to see their favorite characters, or don’t notice all of the tiny things that went “wrong” that you might.  

It can be hard to deal with feeling of inadequacy, but you’ll get to the level of skill you want to be at faster than you think if you continue to work at it. Here’s the secret: a lot of artists (cosplayers included) are hardest on their own work. Even someone like me, who has been cosplaying for nearly 15 years, deals with these feelings. The secret to overcoming it is not to look at other people’s work (”this person is at a way higher level than I am and they just started!” or “I’ll never make anything that amazing!”), but to look at how far you’ve come, and what you are proud of in your own work. I’m a pretty practical person, so if I ever do feel that kind of inadequacy, I usually stop, identify where I can improve, and set out to do those specific things. Even then, you will see your flaws, while others will see your strengths. Learn to identify your strengths and appreciate them, and work on the things that you see as flaws. Know that no one can do everything perfectly, and learn to embrace that.

I mention my own experiences here because you sound like the kind of cosplayer I am. I’m the type who has the most fun with the construction aspect of it, and has fun trying to plan out and problem solve a cosplay, and then showing off all my hard work. Not everyone places as much personal importance on those aspects of the hobby, so this kind of advice doesn’t really apply to those who have different versions of fun. This answer isn’t meant to be a “you have to have good construction to be a good cosplayer” response, but since you specifically want advice on construction skill, I would guess that you’re the type who likes to make things.  

You’ll get there, but remember that you are always allowed to be at the skill level you are at. Always.  

Fabrickind / Q&A Staff

anonymous asked:

What's everybody getting up to for Valentine's Day in the galaxy far, far away? Kylux? Finnrey? Techienician? I want to hear about these great celebrations.

ANON, I’m so glad you sent this, thank you! Yesterday I started this little modern AU Valentine’s Day ficlet and wasn’t sure I’d finish it, and your ask inspired me to finish & post it :33

It’s not the galaxy far, far away version, but it does feature all three of those couples! Happy Valentine’s Dayyyy~~!

I call this: ALWAYS SOMEHOW REHEATING FISH, as it was inspired by the new Girls episode and me laughing at that quote re: meaty near-naked Kylo and his naked partner being awful to their roommate.

~~


Finn smirks as he passes the long line at the flower stand in his building’s lobby. They ran out of red roses around lunchtime and are now selling the dregs to desperate people who didn’t plan as well as he has. He got an email confirmation that the custom bouquet he ordered for Rey arrived at her apartment two hours ago, and her creepy cousin actually responded to his text about placing it in her room. Whether or not Ben actually did so is still uncertain, as it’s hard to predict what he’ll do, regardless of what he says, but Finn has tried to come up with some reason why Ben might want to sabotage Rey’s Valentine’s Day flowers, and he hasn’t landed on anything yet. As obnoxious as Ben can be, he does seem to genuinely care about Rey. Finn would love it if this affection for Rey would translate into Ben maybe attempting to find his own place and letting Rey live her life without her codependent cousin haunting her steps, but he’s not going to hold his breath waiting for that to happen. Not yet, anyway: eventually he’s going to ask Rey to marry him. Maybe next year. At that point, Ben will hopefully take his cue to move out.  

If Rey says yes, that is.

It’s a gray and rainy Tuesday, just a little after six o’clock in the evening. Finn thinks about texting Rey, though she likely won’t have time to look at her phone until her shift ends in five hours. She’s a waitress at Jakku, one of the trendiest restaurants in town, and today will be hell at work for her: the restaurant is fully booked, packed with couples who will expect her to cater to them and their special day while she juggles ten other tables who all demand the same level of doting attention in exchange for Jakku’s insane prices. Rey has been dreading Valentine’s Day all week for this reason, just like she dreaded it last year, when she and Finn were still only friends. Last year all he did was send her supportive messages when she griped about the work day she faced and then about how gruelling it was. He’d offered to bring her some ice cream at midnight, when she finally got home, but she’d said she just wanted to sleep.

This year they’re not just dating but getting pretty serious after seven giddy months. Rey has given him a key to her apartment, where he sleeps more often than not, though he has his own place and it’s pretty nice, definitely quieter. But Ben is not there, and if Ben wasn’t inventing nonstop excuses to need Rey’s “energy” nearby in order to stay sane, he wouldn’t be Ben.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I've seen a few terms on this site (ableist, terf, and swerf) almost everywhere, and I was hoping if you could explain what it means. Thanks!

Hi anon! I’m technically taking a break from this blog, but I actually really wanted to answer this question in particular because it’s really important. I hope you don’t mind!

Content note: violence, transphobia, whorephobia, sex shaming, use of slurs, rape mention, death mention, murder mention, genitalia mention, pedophilia mention

1. Ableist

Ableism is hate, oppression, harassment, disdain, disrespect, erasure, etc related to disabled people. It can go from openly hating and mocking disabled people, to normalized ableism in the language (the use of ableist slurs like “dm*b”, “l*me”, “st*pid”, etc). It can also be not taking disabled people into account when stating things (for example “just go and walk every day to be healthier!” when a lot of people CAN’T walk). 

To quote Urban Dictionary:

Ableism is the discrimination or prejudice against people who have disabilities. Ableism can take the form of ideas and assumptions, stereotypes, attitudes and practices, physical barriers in the environment, or larger scale oppression. It is oftentimes unintentional and most people are completely unaware of the impact of their words or actions.

The thought that people with disabilities are dependent and require the care and support of someone else is an example of ableism. Sometimes this comes out in the form of people helping people with disabilities without asking them if they need assistance (and of course waiting the affirmative response).

Another example would be in designing spaces, places, events, information, communication, and technology without considering the variety of needs of people with disabilities. For example, a building that is built to code can still be technically inaccessible if the ramp is around the back of the building or if there is no automatic door opener installed.


Another quote from Urban Dictionary explains it this way:

Ableism is a form of discrimination toward people with disabilities either physical or mental. Generally, ableism prevents disabled persons from having the same access to rights and services that average people have no problems obtaining.


Wikipedia explains it this way:

In ableist societies, able-bodiedness is viewed as the norm; people with disabilities are understood as those that deviate from that norm. Disability is seen as something to overcome or to fix, for example, through medical intervention. The ableist worldview holds that disability is an error or a failing rather than a consequence of human diversity, akin to race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender. One common type of ableist behavior denies others’ autonomy by speaking for or about them rather than allowing them to speak for themselves. An example of this behavior occurs when a waiter speaks to an aid or a companion instead of directly to the person with a disability.

Other definitions of ableism include those of Chouinard, who defines it as “ideas, practices, institutions, and social relations that presume able-bodiedness, and by so doing, construct persons with disabilities as marginalized […] and largely invisible ‘others,’” and of Amundson and Taira, who define ableism as “a doctrine that falsely treats impairments as inherently and naturally horrible and blames the impairments themselves for the problems experienced by the people who have them.”


Ableism is also related to mental disabilities and mental illnesses as well. Discrimination against someone for things like having a low IQ, being “cr*zy,” not processing information or emotions in a way deemed “normal,” and other similar acts are all ableism. Other words for this specific form of ableism include “mentalism” and “sanism,” although I personally dislike those terms.


Wikipedia explains:

Mentalism or sanism is a form of discrimination and oppression because of a mental trait or condition a person has, or is judged to have. This may or may not be described in terms of mental disorder or disability. The discrimination is based on numerous factors such as: stereotypes about neurodivergence (e.g. autism, ADHD, bipolar, schizophrenia, personality disorder diagnoses), specific behavioral phenomena (e.g. stuttering, tics), or supposed intelligence.

Like other “isms” such as sexism and racism, mentalism involves multiple intersecting oppressions and complex social inequalities and imbalances of power. It can result in covert discrimination by multiple, small insults and indignities. It is characterized by judgments of another person’s perceived mental health status. These judgments are followed by actions such as blatant, overt discrimination (refusal of service, denying of human rights). Mentalism impacts how individuals are treated by the general public, by mental health professionals, and by institutions, including the legal system. The negative attitudes may also be internalized.

The terms mentalism (from mental) and sanism (from sane) have some widespread use, though concepts such as social stigma, and in some cases ableism, may be used in similar but not identical ways.

While mentalism and sanism are used interchangeably, sanism is becoming predominant in certain circles, such as academics, those who identify as mad and mad advocates and in a socio-political context where sanism is gaining ground as a movement. The movement of sanism is an act of resistance among those who identify as mad, consumer survivors, and mental health advocates. In academia evidence of this movement can be found in the number of recent publications about sanism and social work practice.


When someone says something is “ableist,” they are saying it contributes to ableism (or mentalism/sanism, if you choose to use such terms). In other words, they are saying it is discriminatory to people with mental illness, mental disability, or physical disability. 


2. TERF or TWERF

I’m sure you already know to some extent what feminism is, but just in case, let me share with you a quote:

Feminism comprises a number of egalitarian social, cultural and political movements, theories and moral philosophies concerned with gender inequalities and equal rights for women. It is the doctrine advocating social, political and all other rights for women which are equal to those of men.

Feminist political activists have been concerned with issues such as a woman’s right of contract and property; a woman’s right to bodily integrity and autonomy (e.g. on matters such as reproductive rights, abortion rights, access to contraception and quality prenatal care); women’s rights to protection from domestic violence, sexual harassment and rape; women’s workplace rights (e.g. maternity leave, equal pay, glass ceiling practices, etc); and opposition to all other forms of discrimination.

Feminist Theory is an extension of Feminism into theoretical or philosophical fields, such as anthropology, sociology, economics, women’s studies, literary criticism, art history, psychoanalysis and philosophy. It aims to understand gender inequality and focuses on gender politics, power relations and sexuality, as well as the promotion of women’s rights and interests.


Wikipedia explains feminism this way:

Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.

Feminist movements have campaigned and continue to campaign for women’s rights, including the right to vote, to hold public office, to work, to earn fair wages or equal pay, to own property, to receive education, to enter contracts, to have equal rights within marriage, and to have maternity leave. Feminists have also worked to promote bodily autonomy and integrity, and to protect women and girls from rape, sexual harassment, and domestic violence.

Feminist campaigns are generally considered to be a main force behind major historical societal changes for women’s rights, particularly in the West, where they are near-universally credited with achieving women’s suffrage, gender neutrality in English, reproductive rights for women (including access to contraceptives and abortion), and the right to enter into contracts and own property. Although feminist advocacy is, and has been, mainly focused on women’s rights, some feminists, including bell hooks, argue for the inclusion of men’s liberation within its aims because men are also harmed by traditional gender rolesFeminist theory, which emerged from feminist movements, aims to understand the nature of gender inequality by examining women’s social roles and lived experience; it has developed theories in a variety of disciplines in order to respond to issues concerning gender.

Numerous feminist movements and ideologies have developed over the years and represent different viewpoints and aims. Some forms of feminism have been criticized for taking into account only white, middle class, and educated perspectives. This criticism led to the creation of ethnically specific or multicultural forms of feminism, including black feminism and intersectional feminism.


When you see someone being called a TERF, it is a warning to others that this is a feminist who is dangerous, bigoted, and hateful towards transgender individuals. Calling someone a TERF means you are calling them a feminist who is transphobic and promoting hateful, antitrans ideologies.


To quote Geek Feminism:

TERF is an acronym for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. Sometimes, “exclusionary” is expanded as “eliminationist” or “exterminationist” instead to more accurately convey the degree to which TERFs advocate for harm towards trans people, specifically trans people who were coercively assigned male at birth.

Some TERFs call themselves “gender-critical feminists”, a term which is synonymous with “TERF”.

Their position (which is not shared by this wiki) denies that trans people’s self-affirmed genders and sexes are equally valid as cis people’s self-affirmed genders and sexes. It has a decades-long history of allying with anti-feminist causes in denying trans people access to health care, and other human rights.

Unsurprisingly, many TERFs complain that “TERF” should be regarded as a slur.

According to Tracey at The TERFs (an anti-TERF site) and Cristan Williams at The Transadvocate, the term TERF was first used in writing by Viv Smythe/tigtog of Hoyden About Town in August 2008. tigtog said in the interview with Cristan Williams that she believes that she and Lauredhel coined it some time prior as a chat shorthand.


In some contexts, you might also hear “TWERF” used instead to convey that the person isn’t against all trans people, but rather just transgender women (women who were assigned male at birth). 


In case you didn’t know what radical feminism is, this is how Wikipedia explains it:

Radical feminism is a perspective within feminism that calls for a radical reordering of society in which male supremacy is eliminated in all social and economic contexts.

Radical feminists seek to abolish patriarchy by challenging existing social norms and institutions, rather than through a purely political process. This includes challenging the notion of traditional gender roles, opposing the sexual objectification of women, and raising public awareness about such issues as rape and violence against women.

Early radical feminism, arising within second-wave feminism in the 1960s, typically viewed patriarchy as a “transhistorical phenomenon" prior to or deeper than other sources of oppression, “not only the oldest and most universal form of domination but the primary form" and the model for all others. Later politics derived from radical feminism ranged from cultural feminism to more syncretic politics that placed issues of class, economics, etc. on a par with patriarchy as sources of oppression.

Radical feminists locate the root cause of women’s oppression in patriarchal gender relations, as opposed to legal systems (as in liberal feminism) or class conflict (as in anarchist feminism, socialist feminism, and Marxist feminism).


In other words, radical feminism doesn’t relate to being “extremist,” as the word radical implies, but rather to eliminating the root of misogyny and the oppression of women.


Many radical feminists are TERFS, but not all are. I was always told that radical feminists coined the word TERF to separate them from the movement, because transgender exclusion was, in their minds, not part of their movement. I can’t verify this for sure.


Many people do not seem to know this, but there are many branches of feminism. Radical feminism is one of hundreds of schools of thought within feminism. 

Philosophy Basics explains:

Radical Feminism considers the capitalist hierarchy of society, which it describes as sexist and male-based, as the defining feature of women’s oppression. Most Radical Feminists see no alternatives other than the total uprooting and reconstruction of society in order to overthrow patriarchy and achieve their goals.

Separatist Feminism is a form of Radical Feminism, which argues that the sexual disparities between men and women are unresolvable, that men cannot make positive contributions to the feminist movement, and that even well-intentioned men replicate patriarchal dynamics.

Sex-Positive Feminism is a response to anti-pornography feminists who argue that heterosexual pornography is a central cause of women’s oppression, and that sexual freedom (which may or may not involve a woman’s ight to participate in heterosexual pornography) is an essential component of women’s freedom.

Anarcha-Feminism (or Anarchist Feminism) is another offshoot of Radical Feminism and combines Feminist and Anarchist beliefs in which patriarchy is viewed as a manifestation of hierarchy so that the fight against patriarchy is an essential part of the class struggle and the Anarchist struggle against the state.

Black Feminism (or Womanism) argues that sexism, class oppression and racism are inextricably bound together. Alice Walker and other Womanists claim that black women experience a different and more intense kind of oppression from that of white women.

Socialist Feminism (or Marxist Feminism) connects the oppression of women to Marxist ideas about exploitation, oppression and labour. Socialist Feminists see the need to work alongside men and all other groups, and to focus their energies on broad change that affects society as a whole, and not just on an individual basis.

Liberal Feminism (or Individualist Feminism) seeks the equality of men and women through political and legal reform. Liberal Feminists see the personal individual interactions between men and women as the place from which to transform society and argue that no major change to the structure of society is needed.

French Feminism (or Post-Structural Feminism) tends to be more philosophical and more literary, than the more pragmatic Anglophone Feminism. It is less concerned with immediate political doctrine and generally focuses on theories of “the body”. The 1949 treatise “The Second Sex” by the French author and philosopher Simone de Beauvoir (1908 - 1986) is a foundational tract of contemporary Feminism, in which she sets out a feminist Existentialism which prescribes a moral revolution and focuses on the concept of Woman as the quintessential Other, which de Beauvoir identifies as fundamental to women’s oppression.

Eco-Feminism links Feminism with ecology, arguing that the domination of women stems from the same patriarchal ideologies that bring about the domination and destruction of the environment.

Christian Feminism is a branch of feminist theology which seeks to interpret and understand Christianity in light of the equality of women and men, which has been largely ignored historically.

Pro-Feminism refers to support of Feminism without implying that the supporter is a member of the feminist movement. It is usually used in reference to men who are actively supportive of Feminism and of efforts to bring about gender equality.


And this is not, by any means, a complete list. There are many other branches of feminist theory and feminist thought, and many different ways that people can engage in feminist activism.


But TERFS often only acknowledge radical feminism (which they consider the only real feminism) and liberal feminism.


Transgender Advocate explains the warning signs that you as an individual might be a TERF:

I’ve noticed that there seems to be some confusion about what a TERF* is so, here’s a quick guide to help you figure out if you’re a TERF. Chances are that you’re a TERF if you believe that you’re a feminist when you…

1.) Claim that trans women are cis men, that trans men are cis women and purposefully misgender trans people.

2.) Out trans people to employers.

3.) Tell trans women their surgery is about supporting rape culture.

4.) Assert that lesbian-identified trans women can’t be lesbian.

5.) Claim that a world without trans people is preferable.

6.) Find that your anti-trans arguments and the anti-trans arguments of far right-wing groups match.

7.) Assert cis privilege isn’t real; that non-trans people aren’t privileged in a society that’s hostile to trans people.

8.) Claim that gender isn’t real, but the MAAB/FAAB binary is.

9.) Claim that trans surgeries were pioneered by men in service of the patriarchy.

10.) Lie about rape and death threats you’ve received from trans people.

11.) Fearmonger about the rape/violence threat trans women pose to cis women in the women’s restroom.

12.) Assert that trans people transition to satisfy their sexual urges.

13.) Degrade and dehumanize the genitals of trans people.

14.) Work to overturn trans equality protections.

15.) Work to halt access to trans medical care.

16.) Appeal to the Klan Fallacy.

17.) Compare transition to a disgusting Frankenstein-like process.

18.) Claim that trans people transition due to political or social pressures.

19.) Claim that when you work to halt the propagation of anti-feminist stereotypes it’s empowerment, but when trans people work to halt the propagation of anti-trans stereotypes it’s censorship .

20.) Assert that trans women transition because they’re actually gay men and that trans men transition because they’re lesbians wanting to escape the patriarchy.

21.) Threaten actual radical feminist organizations with killing its trans members, and then show up at the radfem event armed with guns.

22.) Beat actual radical feminists for protecting trans women from a TERF bashing.

23.) Mob Lesbian Avengers who have a trans kid with them and then threaten the kid with a knife.

24.) Menace a butch Lesbian radical feminist so much that the radfem decides to start their own inclusive Women’s Music Festival.

25.) Threaten a group of trans women with bodily violence so that they have to start something called Camp Trans in protest.

26.) Promote so-called “bathroom bills” because you think it’s “pro-Lesbian.”

27.) Find that Tea Party Republicans start promoting your TERF rhetoric.

28.) Promote right-wing propaganda mill nonsense to substantiate your hate because they’re the only ones who, in your estimation, are your ideological allies.

29.) Find that right-wing pundits and even hate groups like the Westboro Baptist Church defend TERF hate.

30.) Appeal to vaginal odors as being a sexed essence which demarcates an authentic sexed status, so that trans women aren’t actual women because the vaginas of trans women are so smelly that it causes “serious smell issues” while, simultaneously being so non-smelly that a trans woman can never know (as actual women apparently do) what it’s like to have a “big, hairy, smelly vagina.”

Bonus: Pretend that the term “TERF” –popularized, in 2008 by a radical feminist-inclusive feminist community as a way of distinguishing between radical feminists from anti-trans bigots who label themselves “radical feminists”– was actually created by the trans  community in order to slur feminism.


I highly recommend these sources if you would like to know more:

Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminism: What Exactly Is It, And Why Does It Hurt?

The Terfs

Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminism on Rational Wiki


Of these sources, The Terfs will be the most helpful, but it contains a lot of violence and disturbing language. Please stay safe!


3. SWERF

SWERFS are another subgroup of radical feminists, very similar to TERFS. Often, someone who is a TERF will also be a SWERF, but this is not always the case.


Urban Dictionary defines SWERF this way:

Acronym for "Sex Worker Exclusionary Radical Feminist”. A person who espouses to be a feminist but who does not believe that women engaged in ANY form of voluntary sex work should be included in the fight for equality, especially in employment or salary parity. This rabid exclusion of an entire class of women is usually a belief based on misplaced uptight morality.


Rational Wiki explains further:

Sex worker exclusionary radical feminism (also known as SWERF) is yet another offshoot of feminism, one that opposes women’s participation in pornography and prostitution. The term was coined to match that of TERF, as their memberships overlap. Their ideology also overlaps as both subgroups follow a prescriptive, normative approach to feminism; i.e., telling women what to do — TERFs with their gender, and SWERFs with their sexuality.

SWERFs criticize the objectification and exploitation of women within pornography and the sex industry, as well as the violence and abuse that sex workers frequently suffer.

SWERFs typically go completely overboard and dump on sex-workers who chose their profession freely, even in places where it is completely legal and safe, claiming that the sex workers are nothing more than deluded victims (and co-perpetrators) of human trafficking. Much like white supremacists might insist that adoption agencies helping children from the third world find parents in the west are nothing more than deluded extinctionists. This dogmatic hostility to voluntary sex work is known as whorephobia.


Many SWERFS argue that they do not like when men control women’s sexuality. But these same people do exactly the same thing. They attack women for being involved in sex work and/or BDSM/kink, or liking porn. Sometimes they will also police women for what they wear or for having makeup, and will also criticize people for playing dressup with their daughters because the believe this is “sexualizing children” and contributing to “pedophilia culture.”


SJW Wiki uses this quote from Tumblr to explain:

“The mere fact that SWERFs are not actively antagonizing workers in the garment industry, or the domestic labor industry, or the farming and food production industry, or even going after MALE sex workers to the degree that they speak over and attack female sex workers shows that their their actions aren’t about ending incidents of abuse, discrimination and sexual misconduct in the workforce, but about controlling women’s bodies, specifically women’s sexual agency .”

Musings of a Naked Lady, on Tumblr


Interestingly, when I Google “TERF,” many articles about how awful and hateful TERFS are show up. But when I Google “SWERF,” most of the articles that appear are defending TERFS and SWERFS and arguing that these terms are an attack on women and radical feminism.


I think the moral of the story there is that more people are uncomfortable with transphobia than they are whorephobia, which is sad because many many people see nothing wrong with transphobia.


I hope you found this helpful, anon! Let us know if you have more questions!


💖 Mod Bella 💖

anonymous asked:

You know how Chuck reacted to meeting the winchesters? What if he did accidentally create them? Like, he started writing his books to distract himself and, being god, the characters became real?

Basically, I love this idea. 

When season 11 revealed that Amara was Chuck’s sister, it changed things in the show. BIG things. Like, the whole entire shows mytharc since day one things.

I’m actually not exaggerating here, hear me out please.

Okay, so what do we know about the “Winchester Gospels”? They were written to record the end times and the roles that Sam and Dean Winchester were supposed to play. Sam and Dean are the tragic siblings, manufactured by the angels to be the perfect vessels because they are in themselves mirrors for Michael and Lucifer on earth. The show spells it out for us thanks to Gabriel: “why do you think you two are the vessels? Think about it. Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father, and Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy’s plan. You were born to this, boys. It’s your destiny! It was always you! As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth. One brother has to kill the other.”

So Dean is supposed to kill Sam as Michael killed Lucifer, one must destroy the other, the older sibling destroys the younger sibling for the sake of the world. That is what Chuck was writing about, Sam and Dean and their destiny in the apocalypse.

Now, Sam and Dean may have ripped up the ending, but that wasn’t the whole story, because Chuck has his own part in this giant mirror of a mirror. Because Michael and Lucifer weren’t even the original story. Chuck and Amara were.

Before creation, Chuck and Amara were siblings in chaos, I dunno if I imagined this or not but I am pretty sure that Amara calls Chuck her ‘big brother’ implying she is the younger sibling but I am not entirely sure on that so don’t quote me here. Nevertheless, we have two siblings, and in order to create the universe, one destroys the other. Chuck chooses creation over Amara, thus starting a millennia long series of events ending in Sam and Dean fighting it out on that day in Stull Cemetery. 

Why therefore did Chuck hide away during the apocalypse? Why didn’t he reveal himself? Because he was ashamed at what he had done to his sister. Because the whole apocalyptic mess was his fault because of his guilt at choosing everything over her. So what does he do instead of fixing things? He writes. 

Chuck wrote Dean Winchester to be himself. Dean is Chuck’s “Mary Sue”. (yes I damn well used that term.) And Sam? Sam is the sibling he gave up for the universe.

So when Chuck poured all of his love and guilt and sorrow over his sister into his new creation, Dean Winchester became everything that Chuck could not be. Dean Winchester will always put his brother before everything else in the entire universe. Because that is a fundamental part of Dean’s creation. Chuck wrote the Winchester’s specifically to undo his own tragic story. In his writing, Dean does not sacrifice Sam for the world, Dean always saves Sam. Even at the risk OF the world. Because Chuck’s biggest regret was not putting his sister first.

It all combines in a rather beautiful narrative symmetry doesn’t it?

anonymous asked:

Idk if you've already written this but can you write a fluffy jimon first date fic?

it’s happening!!!! lmao i love that all the new prompts i get now have specific genres. IT’S LIT, AND I KNOW I CAN’T MESS THIS UP TOO BADLY

side note: i wanna say that it should go without saying, but i’m a pretty chill person and always encourage people to come off anon and be my friend. i understand if you don’t want to - i have anon turned on, i mean i’m fine with it - but i’ve noticed an increase in anon prompts and i just wanna make it very clear that i’m super friendly and don’t bite!! <3

Jace is just about ready to call the whole thing off. 

“Gotta arrange these better.” Clary fusses, fluffing the baby’s breath in the bouquet of flowers he’s holding. “This color gradient’s all off.” 

“I paid a hell of a lot of money for dead plants.” Jace grumbles. “I think the color gradient’s fine.” 

“You’re not the one with the art degree.” Izzy warns, coming forward and yanking his arm towards her. 

“Clary doesn’t have one either.” Jace protests, confused as Izzy yanks out her stele and beings to trace something across his forearm. “Is that - stamina?” 

“Better to be safe than sorry.” his sister says calmly, and Jace groans. 

“I’m not going to have sex with him on the first date.” He says, a little too loudly. Lindsey pauses from where she’s on one of the monitors and gives him a strange look, and Raj is doubled over a rack of blades, wheezing with laughter. 

So great to know.” Alex says sardonically, smirking as he saunters over. He waves his phone at Jace. “I was just getting on Magnus’ case because he, Raphael, and Luke are making a big deal out of Simon getting ready, but apparently I don’t have a leg to stand on. You’re all just as bad.” 

“Look who’s talking.” Izzy says, laughing as Alec casually straightens a wrinkle in Jace’s button-down and adjusts his collar.

“Are we all done?” Jace asks crossly. “Can I go on my private date now?” 

“Oh, it’s so sweet when children grow up.” Clary sighs, pretending to wipe away a tear as she steps back. Jace groans, louder. 

“Fray, are you giving my boyfriend a hard time?” a voice calls, and Jace turns, relieved, to see Simon. He pauses for a moment, stunned, as Simon walks up to him with a grin on his face. 

Simon looks so good, the top few buttons of his soft purple henley unbuttoned. He’s got a dark black jacket on that Jace swears he’s seen on Magnus before, and his hair looks windswept. Jace wants to put his hands all over Simon and wreck him, wear out the stamina rune that Izzy’s so helpfully provided. At the same time, he also wants to hold Simon’s hand and take him on a picnic or something equally awful and sweet. It’s horrible, but Jace can’t find it in him to do anything but smile like an idiot and hand Simon the flowers, leaning in to brush a kiss against his cheek. 

“Hey.” Jace says lowly, and Simon’s eyes are bright as he regards Jace and hands over his own bouquet, which Jace takes and smiles stupidly at. 

“I see we both went for a traditional approach.” Simon comments, and they both consider the two bouquets. “Thought I’m not sure what to do with these now. I did not think this far ahead.” 

“Classic Lewis.” Jace sighs, then jerks his head to Izzy. “I don’t have these nerds here for nothing.” 

“No glove, no love, and make sure to use the stamina rune.” Izzy says sweetly in retaliation as she and Alec tug the bouquets out of their hands. “We’ll put these in water; go enjoy yourselves.” Simon flushes at the comment about the stamina rune, and Jace rolls his eyes. 

“I don’t kiss and tell.” He hollers at his siblings before he holds a hand out to Simon. “Shall we?” 

Simon laces their fingers together, rubbing his thumb briefly across Jace’s knuckles. “Where are we going?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

“Jace, I’m driving. I have to know.” Simon says patiently. 

“I’ll get my license soon.” Jace grumbles, and Simon laughs. “We’re going to Central Park.” 

“It’s nearly midnight.” 

“So?” Jace looks at him, using his free hand to push his hair out of his face. “Perfect for stargazing.” 

“Oh my god, this is New York. Have you ever heard of something called light pollution?” 

“You are so determined to make this not romantic.” Jace teases gently, nudging Simon and grinning. Simon cuts him a flat look, and Jace laughs. “I checked with Meliorn, and he set up a place with his magic to let us see the stars.” 

“Wait, seriously?” Simon asks, stopping on the sidewalk in front of his garish van. Jace eyes the van warily. 

“I can’t believe I’m constantly riding in this monstrosity.” He says, shaking his head. “But yeah.” 

“Respect the wheels.” Simon says absently, still staring at Jace. “How did you get Meliorn to help you?” 

Jace shrugs, shifting uncomfortable. “Meliorn has a soft spot for romance.” Simon continues to stare at him, and Jace sighs, relenting. “He thinks its hilarious that another Shadowhunter is dating a Downworlder, and he’s encouraging it because, and I quote, he ‘cannot wait to see the Clave’s constipated expressions when they learn of their precious half-angel with a vampire’.”

Simon laughs at that, throwing his head back and leaning against the van. Jace half-smiles, more occupied with the way the moonlight traces a silver glow across Simon’s cheeks and neck. 

“Wait, that’s so great.” Simon says, still chuckling. “It’s Meliorn’s version of a fuck you, that’s so cute - are you listening? You’re staring at me weird.” He says, pausing as Jace licks his lips. Jace can’t take his eyes off of the way the light is falling perfectly across Simon, illuminating his figure and turning him into something angelic. He takes a step closer, swaying forward into Simon’s space. 

“You’re impossible.” Simon says fondly before he lifts his free hand to cradle Jace’s cheek and bridges the distance between them, pressing his lips to Jace’s. It’s not their first kiss, but it feels just as wonderful, just as new and bright, warmth exploding like fireworks behind Jace’s closed eyes. 

He presses closer, letting go of Simon’s hand, and instead winds his arms around Simon’s waist, pulling their bodies flush together. Simon makes a low, delighted noise, and traces his tongue across the seam of Jace’s lips; Jace obediently parts his mouth and lets Simon twine their tongues together, his breathing ragged. He feels like he’s floating, riding a soft high that consists entirely of Simon’s body tangled with his, Simon’s skin faintly cool beneath his hands, the noises that Simon makes echoing like a symphony around them. 

He finally breaks the kiss when breathing becomes a problem, sucking in deep lungfuls of air as Simon watches him with half-lidded eyes, his lips faintly shining with spit. 

“That stamina rune might actually come in handy.” Simon says, his voice rough, and Jace laughs, burying his face in Simon’s shoulder and relishing in the feeling for just a moment. 

“I want to do this right.” Jace says, finally drawing back and pressing a tiny kiss to Simon’s forehead. “I’m gonna woo the fuck out of you, Lewis.” 

“You sap.” Simon says, but he’s laughing too as he drags Jace around to the passenger side and opens the door. “Ready for our date, then?” 

“Yeah.” Jace says, bringing Simon’s hand to his lips and brushing a kiss across his knuckles. Simon blushes violently, covering his face with his free hand. Jace grins, slow and predatory, and Simon’s eyes widen. “Yeah.” 

(It’s a really cute date, up until the bushes rustle and they whirl around, weapons drawn, to find a sheepish wolf regarding them, accompanied by Izzy and Clary.

“It’s 2017 and privacy is apparently a myth!” Simon hollers, chasing a laughing Luke down as Jace groans and quietly bemoans the fact that they’re all way too co-dependent.)

Follow Forever for 5.6k! ^_^

Originally posted by jeonsshi

((yes I didn’t make a banner because I can’t edit to save my life cx))

I was going to do this for 5000 followers, but I guess this became a 5.6k follower commemoration! ^_^

Thank you to all of my wonderful readers, for reading, commenting, and leaving such lovely asks, I really appreciate you all! ^_^

These are all blogs that I think you should go follow and show some love, because they’re all great people with great content! ^_^


Starting with mutuals…

@lee-sixx She is such a sweetheart, I remember from the days of her being Rap Anon, I consider her a friend now, she’s awesome to talk to, gives the best advice, her philosophical rants are always so interesting to listen to, like?? Thank you for everything hun, I hope we continue to talk often, please do rant away, it’s actually fascinating cx

@chloeisalion It’s been a little while since we’ve had a proper conversation, but she’s another really cool person on here, great to talk to, really friendly and generally easygoing, a sweetheart also ^_^

@jennilycrown Ah, this girl is such a hardcore Jin stan, but it’s great cx She’s eccentric, but she’s great fun to talk to, she’s also a sweetheart, aw <3 Really great person, she’s awesome to talk to ^_^ ((Psst, you still can’t make me choose between Taehyung and Jimin, I won’t allow it ;-;))

All my girls from the ‘boy group writers net’ specifically the ones on our group chat: @cloudsofsonder @writeiolite @wonhandsome @btsbiaslove @mochixjimin @yonggukssmolgf @suhotrashanon @sugamonstae @flowerpotfanfics @boymeetsfiction (I hope I didn’t miss anyone out, ah cx)

These girls are all really friendly, really awesome to talk to, and even though I haven’t been part of the network all that long, I already feel at ease talking to them normally, please do check their blogs out, they’re all writers themselves!

A special shoutout to @cloudsofsonder aka tiger, she’s truly a sweetheart, really did make me feel so welcome and she’s so friendly like?? <3

I actually don’t have all that many mutuals/people I regularly talk to on here, compared to some other blogs, please do talk to me guys! I’m always down for a conversation no matter what you want to talk about, drop into my inbox or my messages! ^_^


Now for some blogs I follow that make great content of all sorts, please follow them! ^_^

#:

@17-bts-fairytales 

A-C:

@army-author @astro-child @bang-tan @bangtan @bangtan-spells @bangtanhmu @bap-ftw @bapsubbers @berry-happy-tokki @booksandbts @boymeetsfiction @btexts @bts @bts-trans @btsabs @btsbiaslove @bysfansite @chokemejimin @cloudsofsonder 

D-G:

@daebak-bts @dearmyjimin @exobtsimagination @fkyeahkpop @flowerpotfanfics @fluffilyangsty @fortheloveofbangtan @fuckyeah-got7imagines @fuckyeahchoiyoungjae @fy-exo @fy-kard @fymonsta-x @googlebts  @got7co 

H-J:

@hallyuwriters @happy-meo @heosekki @hobibliophile @hellokpopoutfit @imsarabum @incomingbts @incorrect-bts-quotes @incorrectkard @inktae @jiminables @jiminscenarios @jin-oppa @jungk0oksthighs @justbangtanreactions @jungkxook 

K-N:

@keepingupwithbts @kpoparmyreaction @kpopgroupsreact @lolbtsaus @mamamoo-trans @marys-artwork @midnightbts @minblush @mochixjimin @monstaxtrans @nightskyhoseok

O-T:

@omgbigbangtanboys @our-kpopreact @perpetually-jungshook @pjxmin @roseok @senpai-sisters @seokline @seoulscapes @shyjimins @skin-of-potato @slaeytae @sugamonstae @sugas-kookies @suhotrashanon @swaglordyoongi @taechubs @taeguk @taetaetown @taexquila @textsandaus @the-writer-of-things @the95liner @themoodykwriter @those-bulletproof-boys 

W-Z:

@wangpuppo @wonhandsome @writeiolite @yonggukssmolgf @yoongimnida @youaretoopure @zephyoongist

too much jealousy

Request from anon: Can you do a long Murphy x reader where he’s extremely protective of the reader. You can choose what specifically happens

this turned into more of an angry jealous protective murph kind of thing idk not good hahhaa

Word count: 1,615

Warnings: swearin and mentions of smut

You and Murphy had only met once you reached the ground. You immediately warmed up to his sarcastic, douchey personality. He was flirty with everyone and most of the time everyone brushed him off. You didn’t. Somehow you found him charming and you let him continually flirt with you, and you occasionally flirted back. One night after you both got drunk, you hooked up, and from that point on it became a regular thing. Last night you had come to his tent, looking for a little stress relief. When you quietly unzipped the zipper and stepped in, he wasn’t in his normal pose, waiting for you on the bed. This time he was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.

“Murph-Are you okay?” Your face scrunched out of confusion. His head shot up and he seemed nervous for once in his life.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on Phil explaining the bedroom situation thing with how the gaming room was actually a bedroom but Phil doesn't spend time in his room anyway so he didn't care if his bedroom was small? It was kind of insightful cause I feel like before everyone thought that dan's room didn't exist but since now we know phil's room is small and he doesn't sleep in it, do you think that possibly he might be sleeping in "dan's room" and using his room just as a set?? it's not a big deal but?

I feel like I make this post about once a week, but right now I’m inspired by something that one of my favorite posters on idb said (link to where I quoted that part) so I’m gonna make it one more time. And anon, there was nothing wrong with your ask - I’m responding to a lot of things I’ve seen floating around today as well as your specific questions. 

I do think he and Dan share a bedroom. I do think that the bedroom that Phil says is his, is also his.

I don’t think that it’s wrong of them to lie to us about where they sleep. They’re putting themselves, as adults, as people in a relationship, as people under a great deal of invasive pressure, first.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

It’s okay for them to keep some things to themselves.

We don’t need to have our collective feelings hurt. We don’t need to be thirsty for the truth, because the truth is none of our business. I’m as fascinated as anyone by their relationship. I spend an inordinate of time thinking about it, talking about it, writing about it, reading about it.

But what we want to know and what they are obligated to tell us are not the same thing. This is not about us. We are not the stars of the show that is their lives; they are. This is not about them hiding things from us or denying things to us because we’re cogs in some great game they’re playing. 

These are two people living their life and trying to figure out a line that lets us in, but only so far, so that the rest can be for them. None of us would react well to being told we’re not allowed to have any privacy and that we’re under some dictate to share things we consider personal with absolute strangers. That’s not how life works. That’s not how people operate. If your best friend had a same sex partner but wasn’t out to their parents and wasn’t ready to be out, would you tell them that they’re wrong to say that they sleep in a separate bedroom than their partner? Would you say that because her parents came to visit her once and saw one part of where she lived that she was wrong to not immediately come clean with everything? I sure as fuck hope not, because people being able to come out when they’re comfortable and retaining the right to choose selective truths depending on what kind keeps them safe and sane. It doesn’t matter that people might have guessed. No one goes around being honest with everyone all the time, especially not people you don’t even know. So why are the rules different for us and them?

And don’t give me any of that ‘it’s different because they’re celebrities’ shit, because no. (Again, not to you original anon, just to all the other less polite messages I’ve both gotten and seen.) This is not an all or nothing situation. Because they show us one thing (their friendship) doesn’t mean they have to show us everything. If you, as a fan, are hurt or upset because they don’t want to show us where they sleep and that bothers you so much that you can’t enjoy them because of it then step away from them and find something that does interest you.

anonymous asked:

(1) this is a bit of a stretch but i think that the 10% of weed symbolizes islam. sana makes a deal with isak that involves her keeping 10% of the drugs. in the next episode, sana is trying to give him the weed but is stopped by the teacher who doesn't even know what the hijab is called. isak responds with "so you don't even know the garment that 10% of your students wear?". at the end of the season, sana gives isak the 10%. this could symbolize her telling him some of the core concepts of islam

2) which he even quotes when he comes out to his mom. then even takes the weed from isak which can symbolize him learning more about islam and reading the Qur'an. isak takes it away from him because it’s bad for him due to his bipolar depression. the same thing could’ve happened with sonja. she could have stopped even from learning about islam by saying that he was manic. he listened to her and stopped trying just like he did with isak and the weed. this is probably all wrong but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

anon!! i’m so so glad you brought the 10% back up. it’s another one of those little details from s3 that only applies to isak, even, and sana, like you said - it’s mentioned by sana after she finds the weed, when isak calls out the racist teacher, and at the end of the season in the kitchen. but it’s also mentioned between isak and even at even’s apartment in 2:10.

we all know julie likes to be extra when it comes to symbolism so i looked up some symbolism for the number 10 and i was really struck by a couple concepts and how they relate to sana/isak/even: 10 is the number of wholeness, but it’s also the first number that requires a second part. from what we learn of isak and sana’s relationship in s3, sana is the person who really gives isak the freedom to come out on his own terms and in his own time. she educates him on religion, and becomes someone he trusts, respects, and values extremely highly by the end of the season. isak and even’s relationship is, at it’s core, about being that one person that can make you a better version of yourself - “I’ll save you right back.” so both of these relationships that are linked to the number 10 demonstrate wholeness by adding a second part.

one other concept i found really, really fascinated me: 10 represents the two opposite current directions of the conscience: involution and evolution. i think this points to your reading of the 10% having to do with religion, both islam and christianity. while isak’s philosophy centers around the idea of evolution, things constantly changing, sana’s philosophy (as well as the christian philosophy) is the opposite. religious philosophy is about consistency, staying steady while everything around it changes. isak goes through a lot of changing in s3, but sana is there to remind him that islam, that religion, says what it has always said and will always say - that everyone is equal.

i think it’s important that 10% as a concept exists individually between isak and sana, and isak and even. so maybe, as the trend points to, there’s a significant 10% between sana and even that we haven’t learned yet, and maybe that 10% has to do with the study of religion - specifically islam, since we know that’s something they share. and maybe that 10% is how we’ll see their friendship develop this season.

anonymous asked:

Isak and Even + 29. “Come over here and make me.”, pretty please? x

#hashtag

Even gets Instagram, it’s all about Isak.

Isak is lying on his bed scrolling through his Instagram feed, rolling his eyes fondly as he comes across a picture of Eskild at a club the night before, his pink wig askew as he drapes himself across the laps of three very good-looking guys Isak would bet money Eskild doesn’t remember now. He keeps scrolling letting out a snort when he comes across at picture he’s tagged in from Jonas’ account, it’s Magnus passed out drunk, while Vilde and Eva apply makeup on the sleeping boy, Sana is next to them smirking. The tag says ‘@isakyaki is missing out because he doesn’t know how to have fun.’

“What’s up?”

Isak looks up from his phone at the question, at his boyfriend who sits in the middle of the bed with a sketch pad on his lap. He turns his phone around for Even to see, enjoying the smile that comes across his face.

“Those girls are trouble,” Even says warmly and it pleases Isak. Over the last couple of months, Isak has watched as Even has become friends with his friends and not just his boys but with the girls. He knows Even finds Vilde’s perkiness endearing, that he loves the flirty banter he shares with Eva and that Sana and Even have a downright scary bromance where Isak is sure they are plotting to take over the world.

“They are,” Isak agrees. “Did you see Jonas’ comment to me?”

Even shakes his head and holds out his hand so Isak can pass over the phone, letting out a sound of derision when he reads the comment. “He just doesn’t get that we had our own fun,” Even says smirking since they are both still undressed from their earlier activities. “You should let him know.”

“I’m not letting him know, you let him know,” Isak blushes as he takes back his phone.

Even makes humming sound at that going back to his drawing and Isak goes back to scrolling through his feed, switching to Facebook when he gets bored of Instagram and finally starts searching amusing memes. Getting lost in his entertainment, he doesn’t notice Even pick up his own phone or that he starts to download the Instagram app.

“Hey baby?” he hears and feels the shifts of Even getting closer to him, he looks up in question only to have a flash go off in his face.

He blinks a couple of times to clear his vision only to see Even tapping away on his phone with an amused smile on his face. Before he can ask his phone vibrates twice with notifications. The first one is that Even_BechNæsheim is following him and he rolls his eyes again at the unoriginal username. The second notification is that he’s tagged in another picture, Isak opens it and feels his face go hot as he looks at the picture, he has a look of surprise obviously, but that’s not what he focuses on. No, instead he notices that with a lack of a shirt he can see the red marks Even left on his neck and chest with his mouth and if that wasn’t telling enough. Even’s caption that says ‘don’t worry @jonas9000, @isakyaki and I are having our own kind of fun’ further cement everything.

“Even, why?” he whines, groaning when he sees that Jonas, Madhi, and Sana have already added Even and have commented on the picture.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can you ever read the bible and decide to interpret it yourself? Am I Bearing false witness to God if I trust myself than God's word? I'm confused when I read the Koran and the Christian bible and need advise. How do I know the difference between thinking I'm right and actually following God's word? Couldn't I then be upset with what I believe God tells me to believe, but still follow his word or should I go against God's word and believe differently. Why would God want me to believe falsely?

You should always

ALWAYS

interpret the Bible for yourself.

If something isn’t sitting right with you? If something doesn’t seem quite correct to you when someone else explains it? If something (as it does to me) physically makes your stomach twist?

You read it yourself. You research the original meaning of the Hebrew or Greek words, you let whatever meaning comes to you strike you first. You look at the rest of the passage it’s in, you look for cultural and historical context.

Some verses I can tell you have been used incorrectly on the spot:

Leviticus 20:13: The famous anti-LGBTQ+ verse. This verse is horribly, HORRIBLY mistranslated and taken out of context to justify oppression. It actually doesn’t have anything to do with plain ol’ gay men having a good time. It actually has to do with very specific cultural norms relating to women’s spaces, essentially saying that men shouldn’t have sex with another man “as they would a woman”–in a woman’s bed. Because you don’t fuck in other people’s beds, son. Not only that, but it’s in the Old Testament, which was not written for Christians, so every time a Christian quotes it, they’re being a dipshit.

Deuteronomy 22:5: This is one of the big ones people use against anything from trans people to a woman wearing fucking pants. It says don’t wear the other gender’s clothes. Ok. But did you know that in this time, the clothing was pretty similar anyway? What’s the point of even saying this if your robe is only stitched slightly differently than the next person’s robe? Seems silly, right? Turns out, this is a ceremonial law against women dressing up as soldiers to go to war, or men dressing up as women to sneak into camps and infiltrate them. Because the former was a no-no since women weren’t supposed to be fucking around in the field, and the latter was a no-no because tricking your opponents like that isn’t honorable for shit. Also, it’s an Old Testament law–irrelevant for Christians. Good thing, else all us cis women wearing pants and even HEELS would be pretty fucked, now wouldn’t we?

Exodus 22:18: As a Christian witch, we get a lot of silly asswipes using this one on us. “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to liveeee oooooOOooOoOooh” like, ok buddy, slow down. The word “witch” wasn’t actually there until Assfuck King James got his hands on the Bible. He was so afraid of getting killed by witches that he changed all these other words to “witch”. What was meant to be there is the word “poisoner”, and it shows up many other times in the New Testament as well, where the word “witch” was actually based off the Greek word pharmakeia, referring to someone who poisons. (Sounds a lot like pharmacy, right?) A “poisoner” could be a poisoner of wells, a poisoner of faith, an assassin, someone who gets people high as a kite on drugs and convinces them that the poisoner is actually a super powerful wizard while they’re tripping, someone who roofies people, etc. As this extends into the New Testament, it’s relevant for Christians, but I’d be eyeing those pieces of shit that drug girls in the bar instead of me with my little herbal teas.


You want to know how you know wrong from right?

You meditate. You pray. You ask again and again. You work it out. God isn’t an inactive God. He isn’t silent just because we have the Bible. He didn’t plop that down on this planet and leave us to our own devices. You got a question about the lesson material? Ask the Big Teach.

I always tell people homosexuality is not actually a sin. Do you know how many times I’ve been nervous about saying that? Again and again, I’m praying, I’m asking God,

“If I’m wrong, give me a sign. Let me know. It’s not my intention to lead people to sin, and I really don’t want to muss up Your Word. I just don’t want people to be oppressed and be destroyed mentally, emotionally, and spiritually over a sin that doesn’t even exist. I have a lot of things to say that it isn’t a sin, but if I’m wrong, let me know.”

And I know there’s not much a point to doing so, but I rationalize in my prayers why I think what I’m saying has any basis, why I think what people have been saying about His word isn’t quite right, and I just ask Him to fix where I may have stumbled. He doesn’t seem to have corrected me on this statement. In fact, after asking and praying on it, I saw @oldmanviggo‘s contribution to another anon about Jonathan and David. I forgot all about those two. If anything, I could take that as a sign.

God doesn’t want you to believe falsely. God wants you to see past CENTURIES of utter horse shit done in His name. He wants you to uncover the truth of His lost and twisted Word, and He wants you to be steadfast in those beliefs.

I believe a lot of wonky shit as a result. I am pro-choice, vehemently so. I am bisexual and pro-LGBTQ+. I am a feminist, I am socialist/idealist with the even distribution of wealth (which tbh how the fuck can you be a Christian and be fucking capitalist omfgggggg), I am rebellious against all that’s bad, I am independent and stand as my own person, etc. (which apparently is a no-no for women according to some dickshit fundies, but fuck fundamentalist pieces of TRASH).

I have a checklist for seeing whether or not something is actually correct in translation or interpretation.

  • Is it oppressive?
  • Is it harmful to innocent people?
  • Is it contradicting somewhere else?
  • Is it against people’s natural, unchangeable stature, unconditionally condemning? (i.e their gender, sexuality, etc.)
  • Does it fall short of love, light, and peace?
  • Does it seem to not consider necessities?

If yes to one or more of these things, generally I find that it isn’t of God. There are exceptions to the rule, such as prostitution and other sex work, for example. People will generally agree that it’s pretty oppressive to criminalize some sex work, like prostitution. I think sex work is a sin based on what I know of God’s intentions for the act of sex (which do extend beyond procreation, mind you) and certain rules on adultery, etc. However, when it comes to things like this, what you need to do is remember that not everyone shares your religion, and that just because it does not sit with your religious views and your specific set of morals, doesn’t mean others don’t have room for it in their morals. In which case, even though I think sex work is a sin, I absolutely will advocate for the rights of individuals to do whatever they’d like and have a safe, legally protected space to do so in.

That is the trick. For those exceptions, you need to be really fucking thorough with what you’re applying this checklist to. You still gotta use common sense. So yeah, even though we live in an age where we can say a prostitute can do whatever they want with their body and has the right to do so, the Bible telling YOU not to do these things is not inherently oppressive to YOU. It’s simply telling you where your limits are for your own good. God’s rules, every single one, are for the benefit of you and your soul. They are there to protect you, to help you grow. I mean, yeah, I could quit Dunkin Donuts and go out and be a stripper and have so much fun and make HELLA money, but I don’t think it’s right to do this for a variety of reasons, and therefore I continue my struggle in different kinds of jobs that teach me certain kinds of things. Everything in our life is a lesson, every choice we make impacts our future and our wellbeing (spiritual, physical, mental, emotional).

Your religion gives you a certain moral framework to start off with instead of creating one on your own. That’s why people might say those without religion don’t have morals. That’s not true. All that happened with their moral framework is that they had one less outside influence on it when it was developing. We have God’s guidance when developing our moral framework. We can come to Him for any and every possible question or struggle we’re having. He’s MORE than delighted to help us work it out. It’s a sign that we care about His rules and we care about what He does and what He puts in place for our sake.

I don’t know if I just went on a massive tangent there. But. Hopefully that helps.

ainilu  asked:

Hello!! I'm the UMAT anon from before! Thanks for the advice :) omg I find the understanding people the hardest one as well, like I always have two options that I can't seem to decide, and there's always words that I don't know! How did you improve those, and in general basically English cause I'm not that good at English either haha did u stick to like a study timetable for UMAT?

cute! is that IU in your icon? Omgsh, your blog is just so niceeeee! Followed you back so I can reblog you for my main haha

Hmm, well at the time, my friend photocopied a few practice paper exams for me, so I just would write down all the word options (usually 4 words for each question) and study the dictionary meanings. If you can manage to get a few papers I think that would help. And I didn’t have a study timetable, I barely prepared for it LOL I just did it so that I wouldn’t have any regrets (which is good because otherwise I wouldn’t be an optom lol)


STUDYING FOR HSC ENGLISH ADVANCED

Area of Study and Module Essays

  • As for English in general, I really hated it, but I mainly improved because I would write a lot of practice essays and then send it to my tutors for feedback. 
  • Unless you’re a natural at English, I would advise that you disregard what the teacher says and memorise your essays. I can’t write something under exam pressure that still makes sense, so memorising helped me to deal with exam anxiety as well. However, there’s a way to do this so that you can answer 90% of questions thrown at you. 
    • The school gave us like a bunch of practice essay questions at the time based on past exams, and the questions can be grouped together into the different issues they ask you to talk about.
    • Have all the quotes and techniques written up in an extra-long exemplar essay.
    • The format of each sentence inside the paragraphs should be like 
      • “The [author/playwright/speaker] 
      • [illustrates/demonstrates/other action verb] 
      • [some facet about the theme of the paragraph] through 
      • [alliteration/metaphor/symbolism] which 
      • [insert consequence e.g. emphasises the blah blah blah]”. 
    • I dug up my old English essays to find you an example :) (I did As You Like It for my main text)
      • “Duke Frederick paradoxically announces “her very silence, and her patience/Speak to the people”, and banishes her, touting “thou art thy father’s daughter, there’s enough”. The high modality and use of verse illustrates the dramatic tension of the scene, and has illustrated Rosalind’s filial ties restrict her expression of outrage at her displacement”.  Yet, Celia’s antithetical statement that “Now go in we content/To liberty and not to banishment” allows her to embrace the wider world of the forest.”
    • You can of course, rearrange the elements of the format above so it doesn’t make your essay sound repetitive and makes the sentences flow nicely. 
      • You can see I save on word count by using the technique (antithesis) as an adjective, as opposed to saying “Shakespeare uses antithesis in Celia’s statement…”
    • Then change the introduction + the topic sentence + the concluding sentence in each paragraph to suit the exam question. You get better at changing these the more you practice, don’t worry!
    • It’s even easier for the questions where you get to choose what issues to talk about. 

Some Real Tips for Creative Writing

As for creative writing, that was also mainly just writing stories again and again and getting feedback from the teacher. 

Just so you know, for my exam, I wrote something based around culture. Basic story was pretty unoriginal: girl gets invited out by friends, but like has to take care of grandmother, was going to ditch grandmother to go, but then has internal monologue, *insert angst about how different her culture and friend’s culture was*, *some memories about grandmother*, *sprinkle some weather parallels her internal strife*, /struggle/, and then runs home, *insert comforting imagery of cultural foods and items* for bittersweet ending in 1200 words. Somehow this was the one story I got full marks from LOL

  • For some reason, the English teachers always badgered you to write something original, but then they were like write what you know. Which kinda threw me for a loop for ages, because I was awful at making up plot lines. Stick with writing what you know, the story turns out much better. 
  • Just write like one super good story with all the elements of the area of study in it, so that you can add elements of the prompt. 
    • English teachers always badger you to use the prompt properly, but no one can think of stuff on the spot, so again I just ignored their demands. 
  • But like there should only be one “complication” or else you won’t be able to resolve it in 1000 words
  • Likewise, no story should be spanning more than one day. You can span one week if you do something like “After a week had passed”. 
  • Always write in 3rd person just in case they complain that your writing has too much monologue. English scarred me and now I can barely read first person stories without feeling irked :’(
  • Find a balance between monologue, outside action/dialogue, and descriptive imagery. This is something that you should specifically request from someone who is reading your story to comment on (most of the time when people critique your story, they’ll pick at small things, but can forget to give you advice on the big picture). 
  • Likewise, find a balance between short sentences and long sentences to alter the pace of your story. The monologue should have both types, descriptive imagery will always be long so it slows the pace of the story, and dialogue can be varied to alter the story pace. 

Hope this helps you write awesomely for English!!

Originally posted by kths

Open Book

Originally posted by wuseokkie


Ships: Jaebum + Y/N

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 682

Prompt: You meet up with JB at a used bookstore for a special date.

A/N: Why do JB fluff pieces always have to be slightly sexy?? Thank you!  Let me know if you have any other prompts!

You walked up to the address that JB had texted you a few hours early and squinted your eyes towards the small sign in the window.  

Two Tales: Used Book Store

You felt yourself smile slightly.  It hadn’t exactly been what you were expecting when JB texted you early this morning to meet up but you couldn’t pretend that you were disappointed.  The boy was full of surprises and you never felt bored unraveling them.

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