It took about a week for it to sink in.
That there will be no more Kate Beckett. I understand that Stana is more than
the character she plays on Castle. And I will follow her career through
whatever she chooses to make. But the loss of Katherine Beckett leaves me with
a hole in my heart. At first, I was angry. I was furious.
It was the first thing I woke up to on Monday morning. The articles throwing
around words of “budgetary reasons” and tension between co-stars for Stana’s
departure. I didn’t care why she left. I cared that she left. I could not
fathom a world where Richard Castle and Katherine Beckett were not together. It
was heartbreaking. But now, the anger has passed and I’m left with sadness. Castle
was the first show that I really hooked onto and refused to let go of. It
introduced me to fan fiction, Tumblr, and the amazing comradery behind huge communities
who follow a show. Kate Beckett was a huge role model for me. She showed
me that it’s okay to let tragedy consume you, that you can still be strong even
when you feel weak, and that loving someone doesn’t mean becoming a different
person to please them. She was my first honest to god female crush. Caskett was
my first OTP. I used to wake up at 5 in the morning on Tuesdays to watch the
new episode on Hulu because we didn’t have a TV for a while. I loved Caskett
for a lot of reasons. It was this amazing relationship that’s foundation was
built upon friendship. They were partners. They went through hell and back
together and that only made them stronger. They were perfect in my eyes because
of their flaws. Castle’s childishness brought light to Kate’s world. In turn
Kate made Castle want to become a better man. A man worthy of Katherine Beckett.
Although no one could ever be worthy of being loved by her he got pretty damn close.
I don’t know how I thought it was going to end but I never thought I would be
like this. I don’t know how they are going to write Stana off the show but if
she dies I might die too. Ok that might be a bit dramatic but I know that’s how
it’s going to feel. To know that they won’t get to grow old together, have kids,
have grandkids it kills me. That after Monday I will never see Kate look at
Castle with a mixture of annoyance and amusement. That after Monday I will
never see Castle look at Kate with pure love and admiration. That I will never
see another new sweet moment between them. They were each other’s always. The definition
of always is at all times; on all occasions. But it is also as a last resort;
failing all else. I just can’t see how this show can continue without Beckett.
Because without Beckett there is no Castle really. The show is centered around
their relationship. I’m sad because I have to say goodbye before I was ready.
That Kate doesn’t get the happy ending she deserves. That Stana doesn’t get to
see the show through until the very end. That my little 13 year old self was
wrong she thought Caskett would live happily ever after. My OTP. My one true
pair. I know they will live on in old episode reruns, in fanfictions, and in
the hearts of every amazing person who ever believed in them. I just wish they
could get their happy ending. They’ve been through so much. So have we. I just
wanted a happy ending. I know that in the real world happy endings are far and few
between so I hoped the fictional world would give me a reprieve. But it’s going
to end in tears isn’t it? That okay. Castle was the reason behind a myriad of
emotions I experienced as a fan of the show. Disappoint is just a new one.
Neighbors AU+ I heard you were sick so I came over with chicken soup and tea to make you feel better :)
Thanks for all the prompts, love!! Hope you enjoy :)
Caroline stared critically at her eyes. She was
getting ready to leave for a night out with her friends Rebekah and Bonnie and
the only thing left to do was her eyeliner. She needed complete silence to
create the perfect cat eye. Painstakingly, she began to line her eyes, almost
proud at how amazing her right eye wing turned out. The left was always a pain
for her for some reason. She was almost there and-
OF A BITCH!
Caroline’s hand jerked in shock, leaving a thin
scraggly line of black streaked up towards her eyebrow. Her eye shadow was
completely ruined, leaving her fuming. Groaning in annoyance, Caroline shot a
nasty look at the wall next to her bed where the offensive sound came from.
Thanks to the paper-thin walls that her apartment had, she could hear her
next-door neighbor sneeze, cough, blow his nose, and essentially breathe heavy
on a daily basis.
Normally, she and her neighbor Klaus got along. He
was friendly for the most part, didn’t play ridiculously loud music, didn’t get
in her way, and smiled at her in the elevator. Klaus was Rebekah’s brother and introduced
the two girls a year or so ago and they instantly hit it off.