aml:screw

Kazuki’s Blog Entry 161021

It’s been a while.
I don’t think this should be talked about here but, before this blog gets deleted, I thought I would like you guys to know so I’m writing it here okay.
The other day, my dad passed away.
The dad I loved so much.
It was so sudden that it took some time for me to accept it.

The funeral was on the 1st of October.
PSC was kind and I managed to attend the funeral.
Thank you very much.

1st of November, was actually the day that my parents were going to come to my final big stage.
‘They gotta book their flight tickets,’ I thought. It was when I wanted to call them.
I got a call from my brother, he said dad wasn’t back and he had requested for a police search.
What do you mean he wasn’t back?
I don’t get it.
At that time, we even bad-mouthed about dad.
Because we thought he would come back as usual.
But, the next day, my brother told me they found dad.
'Dad didn’t make it…’
What do you mean 'didn’t make it’?

No no, didn’t we drank together during my/your bday the other day?
It was fun, I was so happy being able to spend it with you.
I don’t know if your eyes are opened or not, I thought I could see the smile that I love so so so much.
'Kazu, welcome home. Good to see you back’ I got so used to you saying that to me.
I am not going to imagine that I can’t see you anymore.
When I close my eyes, I can see my dad’s smile.


I can’t write in details but, it was 4 days after they managed to find his body.
It was an accident.
It was a miracle to get his body in one piece.
My brother and the local people desperately looked for him.
For coming back to us, thank you.
I am grateful. Truly.
Thank you for letting me see my dad in the end.


I didn’t blog about this but, I lost the grandpa I love this year and it was really painful.
Too many things overlapped.
Mom will be alone at home now.
I’m gonna go home more often than before.
I will call back more often.


The「和己」is my real name and because it’s name my parents gave me, I really treasure it.



Dad, for bringing me up till now, thank you.
For listening to so much of my wilfulness, thank you.
When I got out to Osaka when I was 15, there were times I felt loneliness for the first time.
Without saying anything, he came to Osaka.
He said he came to see my face, and he went home after 5 minutes (lol)
He came to Tokyo a couple of times for me too.
He wasn’t a man with a lot of words.
Dad’s kindness, everyone knows about it you know?
The fact that I like cooking, is probably influenced by my dad who was a master chef?
You liked alcohol too didn’t you.
You drank too much though.
Everyone in the family was worried you know?
For some reason, I inherited that bit (lol)
I wish I could see you.
I wish I could talk to you.
I want you to listen to my complains once more.
I haven’t talked to you enough.
Mom, it must’ve be so painful.
It must’ve been agonizing.
I want to change things for her.
Watch me from the heavens okay.
This is a promise.


Entrust mom and our family to us brothers!
Get along with grandma and grandpa okay!
If you guys fight, make peace with each other okay? (lol)
Someday I will go over too!
Until then, watch over me.



Lastly, the earthquake at Tottori, my family seems to be okay.
Thank you for worrying.


p/s: Tried to keep true to his tone so some translations are not direct.Rest in peace, Kazuki papa.