Amy Schumer: “I’M SUCH A WHORE!! MY VAGINA IS BIG AND HAS LOTS OF FLAPS!! I’M GROSS! LET ME TALK ABOUT HOW BAD MY VAGINA SMELLS!! MEN ARE FUCKING GROSS, RIGHT? LETS GET POLITICAL REAL QUICK! NOM NOM NOM FEED ME DICK AND CUM!!!!”
Amy Schumer: “My special has a 1 star rating because of trolls and the alt-right!!“
For me, it’s more about wanting there to be more female directors. There’s no shortage of women who want to make films. There are so many male directors and so many male-driven films and there are significantly fewer female-driven films and female directors — and that’s not because they don’t exist.
I Am Sam dir. Jessie Nelson (2001) Father X-mas dir. Marie Rose (2001) Cutlass dir. Kate Hudson (2007) Hounddog dir. Deborah Kampmeier (2007) The Secret Life of Bees dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood (2008) The Runaways dir. Floria Sigismondi (2010) Night Moves dir. Kelly Reichardt (2013) Very Good Girls dir. Naomi Foner (2013) Every Secret Thing dir. Amy Berg (2014) The Bell Jar dir. Kirsten Dunst (2018)
early in the fifth season, jake proposes to amy. charles cries. amy and jake have a perfect wedding (aside from doug judy showing up out of nowhere and giving a toast). the show gets renewed for a sixth season.
amy gets pregnant. charles nearly has a heart attack when he’s told.
jake worries that he’ll be a terrible father because he didn’t exactly have the best role model growing up. and it’s only when they’re lying in bed and his hand is resting on her stomach like always, and suddenly he feels something against his palm, and it’s the baby?? kicking??? and it’s the most precious thing to ever exist and jake decides he’s going to be the best dad ever.
amy gives birth to the cutest, most well-loved little girl in the entire world. jake faints. terry tears up because his work-kids are actually having kids. captain holt chokes up when he’s holding his god-child in his arms.
amy doesn’t want to actually go on maternity leave because she has things to do, damnit. but when jake stays home with baby ella while she goes in, amy has a panic attack and as it turns out, a captain can grant both maternity and paternity leave (the 99th precinct loses its best two detectives for about a month).
she won’t admit it, but rosa has a huge soft spot for ella, and one day babysits while jake and amy have to track down a perp (and very quietly, gruffly, claims that this is the most beautiful baby to ever exist).
jake ends up getting one of those baby carriers so now he wears the baby on his chest at every opportunity.
the show gets nine total seasons because anything less would be a crime.