amie is the writer not me

I am strong. I am capable of pushing through whatever life throws at me. I am deserving of love, and I am capable of giving away more love than I recieve. I am worthy of a good live, filled with happiness, peace and calm. I am more than what negativity says to me. I am, and always will be, exactly where the universe needs me.
— 

Positive Affirmations by Amy Kennedy

30/03/17

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duckswearhats  asked:

Hi, I read that you've dealt with with impostor syndrome in the past, and I'm really struggling with that right now. I'm in a good place and my friends are going through a lot, and I'm struggling to justify my success to myself when such amazing people are unhappy. I was wondering if you have any tips to feel less like this and maybe be kinder to myself, but without hurting anyone around me. It's a big ask, I know, but any help would make my life a lot less stressful

The best help I can offer is to point you to Amy Cuddy’s book, Presence. She talks about Imposter Syndrome (and interviews me in it) and offers helpful insight.

The second best help might be in the form of an anecdote. Some years ago, I was lucky enough invited to a gathering of great and good people: artists and scientists, writers and discoverers of things. And I felt that at any moment they would realise that I didn’t qualify to be there, among these people who had really done things.

On my second or third night there, I was standing at the back of the hall, while a musical entertainment happened, and I started talking to a very nice, polite, elderly gentleman about several things, including our shared first name. And then he pointed to the hall of people, and said words to the effect of, “I just look at all these people, and I think, what the heck am I doing here? They’ve made amazing things. I just went where I was sent.”

And I said, “Yes. But you were the first man on the moon. I think that counts for something.”

And I felt a bit better. Because if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter, maybe everyone did. Maybe there weren’t any grown-ups, only people who had worked hard and also got lucky and were slightly out of their depth, all of us doing the best job we could, which is all we can really hope for.

(There’s a wonderful photograph of the Three Neils even if one of us was a Neal at http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2012/08/neil-armstrong.html)

One thing that makes me happy about Brooklyn Nine-Nine (even in light of this stressful finale) is that peraltiago relationship conflict is mostly external. Like, I feel like most shows depict unhealthy romantic relationships with internal conflict, in which characters fight and lie to each other and break up and make up over and over again. For some reason, a lot of writers seem to think that internal conflict is the only way to add drama to an established relationship.

But Brooklyn Nine-Nine?

After the initial will-they-won’t-they dramatics, Jake and Amy are nothing but supportive of each other at every step in their relationship. Jake doesn’t resent Amy for being ambitious. Amy doesn’t resent Jake for being a hot mess. They communicate with each other. They affirm each other. The most relationship conflict we’ve seen is when they get separated by external circumstances (Florida and now prison, apparently).

tl;dr: I wish more writers would realize that you can write interesting romantic pairings without relying on unhealthy relationship tropes.

Your body is capable of almost anything if you treat it the way it deserves to be treated. You can climb mountains, run for miles and bend in ways that make people cringe, with the nourishment and love that you should always be striving to give it. Try loving your body, treat it as if it is a old friend, as if you want it to function into old age, and see what your body gives you back.
— 

Bodies are made for love by Amy Kennedy

13/03/17

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You made poetries about me. About how I curl my body when I’m asleep and how the winds scud my hair waving like riptides. How you love the way I flutter my eyes and how my irides turn into fireworks whenever I hear you say my name or just by looking at your face. You wrote about how I can never sleep with my lights on—you know I can never sleep even just with the slightest ray of light. You wrote about how I take sleeping pills every night and how I cover all the windows with thick and pitch-dark curtain just not to see a speck of luminescence from the outside. You wrote about every little thing about me. But one day, somehow, you ran out of words and you got tired of me being your muse. And since then, I wait. Every day and every night I am waiting for you to come back and tell me you are filled with words and metaphors again. Because ever since you left, I never turned off my lights. And love, I did not take sleeping pills again tonight.
—  an excerpt from theraserrano’s upcoming book, Cher Ami
It is times when the sun is shining and the mornings are not long that we are reminded that life is beautiful. When we walk into the air and feel no hesitation, we feel peace and we are ready to go wherever the day takes us. Make every day a day that is warm, a day that makes you smile and feel peaceful. Enjoy your life, for what it is, and you will never have a bad day again.
— 

Find peace in the day by Amy Kennedy

13/04/17

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Okay, so the last issue that came out of Archie Sonic, issue 290, had this cute little bit where THEY ACKNOWLEDGE THE WHOLE TAROT CARD THING. And Amy looks positively adorable hiding her face behind the cards.

Of note, her tarot cards have some of the in universe deities on them. Chaos, Solaris, and Dark Gaia are there. I wonder what arcana they represent? What does the rest of the deck look like? I know the writer probably didn’t think that far, but it intrigues me nontheless.

I told Amy that I hoped Rory would end on a high note. After all her hard work, I wanted to see her succeed and be thriving. So it was a hard thing for me to digest. I was hoping that we would see that she had lived an interesting life and had been fulfilled up until this point where her grandfather dies and [she] comes back home. But, because I know Amy after all these years, I knew it was her true intention and it was something that satisfied her as a writer because she knew the reaction she was going to get from the audience. … So I trusted her.
—  Alexis Bledel, on if she was satisfied with Rory’s ending
Ok Hamilton fandom hear me out

I really hate the way Lafayette is written in fanfics. He always speaks in broken French and English, which is probably my number one pet peeve because I feel like it is just a way for fanfiction writers to avoid making him an actual character. It’s always FRENCH FRENCH FRENCH Lafayette and that is his one personality trait. We understand how he is French. We know. Also, he is always written as this hyper feminine man but also super sexualized at the same time. He is always incapable of having a conversation without flirting or using the phrase “mon ami”. I also understand how people want more gender/ lgbtq representation and headcanons for characters making them trans, gender fluid , ect. are usually pretty great but I don’t really understand why the fandom is so attached to Genderfluid!Lafayette. Sometimes if fanfiction writers choose not to use that headcanon they are attacked, and that really has to stop. It’s the authors choice. There is no historical evidence for it ( correct me if I’m wrong please). Not everyone has to use that headcanon. I’m sorry I just felt like ranting about this.

If you are going to dream big be willing to work hard, or prepare to meet disappointment face on. If you have a enormous goal, something you hope for in your dreams, it is going to take enormous amounts of work. Start fighting how you should for what you believe in, be willing to work hard and stay encouraged.
— 

Hard work makes Dreams real by Amy Kennedy

06/04/17

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i really really need to talk about last night’s episode of brooklyn nine nine. that is not the kind of episode that you can fully appreciate in one watch so i had to go back and see it again before i talked about it. i am not in a place to speak on racial profiling but when i read the press release of this episode and found out that my favourite show is doing an episode on this very important and complex topic, I was intrigued but also worried. when taking on a topic that is incredibly urgent and relevant in today’s world, there definitely is a huge amount of responsibility that the show needs to take in highlighting the issue and giving it the importance it deserves while also maintaining the structure of the show. i definitely do not doubt dan goor and the brooklyn nine nine writers and actors for even a second, but taking on a topic like this in a cop comedy show where cops are believed to be inherently good and protective of their citizens is an incredibly huge risk, one that i did not want the show to take unless they were certain that they could do justice to it. and justice they did. 

i honestly cannot express how incredibly happy i was to see someone other than jake be a part of the A plot. don’t get me wrong you know jake peralta is the absolute love of my life, but the supporting characters in this show are so incredibly interesting and there’s so many great stories to be explored with them and sometimes they are underutilized in episodes and it’s frustrating because you know they have so much more to offer. terry excels in mediocre C plots so when he is given a fantastic A plot, he absolutely nails it. 

right off the bat when terry tells the squad about the incident, i absolutely love jake saying that he has never been stopped by a cop and he has done some really crazy things and the flashback that follows, b99 has never been a show to shy away from discussing white privilege and i love that this continued on in this episode. i love that terry’s first course of action was not to punish the officer for making the mistake, but rather talk to him about it and ensure that he wouldn’t ever do it to anyone else again. i loved the conversations between holt and terry, it was interesting to see the differing perspectives of two black men in positions of authority and who belong to different generations. holt is justified in worrying about terry’s career and telling him to pick his battles, regardless of how deeply wrong the incident was. terry is justified in wanting to do the right thing and make the officer pay for what he did because this incident had nothing to do with his career in the first place. terry’s childhood flashback and viewing a cop as a superhero and telling holt that he can’t stop thinking about the thought of his daughters one day being out on the street looking for their child’s toy and being stopped by a bad cop and not being able to play the police card was heartbreaking. i love that terry chooses to file the report and doesn’t care about it affecting his chances of getting the city council job because it is the right thing to do. i can’t express how amazing terry crews is in this scene and how he makes me cry within seconds because his emotions are so raw and to see such a positive and happy person feel so defeated really hits you hard. i love that holt tells terry that when he went through these situations, he was alone and he had no one to turn to so he had to rise through the ranks to create change, but now he’s there, and how he decides to support terry regardless of the consequences. i love that there isn’t an easy resolution to this plot and it is a bittersweet ending because terry does not get the city council position likely due to his complaint against the officer and he does consider the thought of him maybe being able to do more if he had gotten the position. i love that holt and terry do acknowledge the fact that it’s tough to survive in this world, regardless of their position or rank. the writers don’t sugarcoat the issue but they also don’t let it slip to a dark and grave place that offers no hope, they find the perfect balance between the two, making their treatment of the issue that much more effective. 

jake and amy babysitting cagney and lacey was so so so important to me but i loved that it didn’t take away from the seriousness of the issue in any way. jake and amy showed immense growth in this episode, from thinking that cake and movies is the perfect diversion for the kids so they can avoid talking about the subject of race to actually having the most difficult conversation that a parent could possibly have with their child and handling it with so much care and sensitivity and not sugarcoating the issue for the children but also not giving them more information than they could handle. i love the last scene between them and how they go back and forth about the idea of kids, acknowledging that yes they’re super stressful but the experience of being with them is rewarding and being able to shape young minds is a powerful feeling. but wait kids are exhausting but they also have the cutest shoes and hands. our babies are ready to have their own babies!! i always knew that jake and amy would make perfect loving supportive and caring parents but if this episode is any indication, they’ll be even greater than i ever imagined. 

best jokes of the episode:

  • “get woke scully” I SCREAM EVERYTIME
  • all of charles’ creepy hilarious lines about jake and amy being parents!!
  • gina’s song on racism
  • “oh and one more thing, i love you” “i love you too jake” so cute so cute so cute
  • “tv and cake were my parents”
  • “what kind of kids don’t wanna eat cake, should we call child services on terry”
  • the handling of the orgasm question
  • gina and rosa babysitting cagney and lacey (lord knows i’d kill for an entire episode of this)
B99 Fanfic Recommendations (Peraltiago Stylez)

Since I’ll be off to visit my sis for about a week now and then will be busy with an internship for the following 6 weeks, I’ll probably not be able to post much during that time. So I decided to assemble a nice, mostly fluffy collection of b99 stories centered around Jake and Amy I very much enjoy :)


Canon (or canon-divergent or possible-future fic… just non-AU ;) :

One-shots

  • Enigmatic Easter Bunny by huffellepuff (“The Nine-Nine does a Secret Santa of sorts, and Jake gets Amy.Takes place very shortly before 2x21, Det. Dave Majors.” This is so sweet!)
  • Untitled Prompt 1 by @elsaclack (”What if Amy and Teddy got engaged during Jake’s undercover op and when Jake’s back the wedding preparations are in full swing and he tries to be supportive but can’t bring himself to go to the wedding?“ It’s by em, so of course it’s friggin’ amazing, duh! ;)
  • Untitled Prompt 2 by @elsaclack​ (”The night of Captain Latvia, Jake talks to Amy about his thoughts on what Boyle said about Jake never becoming a dad.” Aaah, I love this one so much! So great!)
  • Untitled Prompt 3 by @elsaclack​ (Amy finds Jake’s folder about her Dad while he’s still in prison. It’s… so… great? And the ending is super sweet!)
  • Untitled Prompt 4 by @elsaclack​ (Jake moves in with Amy and Amy finds a box with his mixtapes… one of them labeled with the date he went into witness protection. Good lord, this is so amazing! Just… amazing.)
  • Untitled Prompt 5 by @elsaclack (A father’s day fic. I squealed so hard reading this the first time! It’s super cute!)
  • Oxford Comma by grapefruity (”She’s got a system, and it isn’t going to come to a standstill just because her messy, disorganized, wreck of a partner makes her sometimes feel things.” The evolution of Jake and Amy’s relationship from Amy’s perspective. Really, really great! I also really love the description of their first encounter - heelies are involved; it’s amazing ^^)
  • Untitled Prompt by @haylestorming​ (”Amy and Jake talking about their future after the Rosa/Pimento (cancelled) wedding” ADORABLE!)
  • Untitled Prompt by @hotelsweet (”Random girl at bar starts flirting with Jake, Jake is clueless and it all goes right over his head, Amy steps in and gets her to back off” Do I really need to say more? It’s glorious. ^^)
  • what’s a home without you here? by @jcobsperalta (”amy comes home, jake is still in prison.“ Oh boy, my heart! But great!)
  • you’re a sky full of stars by @oceanvirus (”Jake discovers Amy’s secret stargazing spot, but he can’t seem to focus on constellations as much as he can focus on the one excitedly pointing them out. Takes place between Boyle-Linetti Wedding and Det. Dave Majors.” So. Friggin’. Cute.)
  • it’s amazing what baking can do by @sergeant-santiago (Jake and Amy face their biggest challenge yet: baking a cake for Charles. Whee! It’s super fun and cute and awesome!!)
  • all the way home i’ll be warm by @the-pontiac-bandit (“We’re in an abandoned lodge in the middle of nowhere. Sure, you’re totally right, nothing bad could ever happen here.” Cute Christmas fic with all the Santiagos and Jake. Sooo adorable! Get ready for pure joy!)

Multi-Chapters

  • breaking the first rule by @heart-eyes-santiago (“When did Jake Peralta fall in love with Amy Santiago? And when did she fall in love with him?” Soo good! Really sweet insights on Jake and Amy’s thoughts throughout the show. Complete. 4 Chapters.)
  • and all my world is losing light by @jakelovesamy (“Day one is listening to Captain Holt telling them not to give up hope, but then overhearing him calling Karen, and telling her in a quiet voice that her son has been sentenced to 15 years, telling her not to cry. Day one is spent filled with fear, and tears, and she punches a wall in their bedroom (because it is still theirs) so hard that the skin on her knuckles splits open. Day one is a cold side of the bed and a thick silence filling up the space where Jake used to be. Day one is overwhelming, plain and simple.” Amy finds out she’s pregnant after the end of S4. Get ready for an emotional rollercoaster of awesomeness! Incredibly good. Complete. 2 Chapters.)
  • it’s only me who wants to wrap around your dreams by @oceanvirus (”In which Jake Peralta showing up at Amy Santiago’s door in the middle of the night in need of a place to stay is simultaneously the best and worst thing that’s ever to happened to them.” temporary roomates… Oh yeah! Excited for more! In-Progress. 1/6 Chapters as of yet.)
  • Nothing’s Normal in Texas by @okayokaycoolcoolcool (”She started feeling something in Texas. Maybe it was the mind-numbing fear that came with being locked in jail unarmed with murderers.  She probably could’ve blamed how annoyed she was at Jake and his tendency to jump in and make her job harder. Although, now that she thought of it, it was probably just the fake pregnancy that was making her mind funny.  It was probably nothing.” Or was it?! ;) Very cool. Complete. 8 Chapters.)
  • What to Expect by @three-drink-amy (”After a crazy night together, Amy finds herself pregnant with Jake’s baby. They have to learn to be parents while navigating their partnership. Set in season 2.” Really interesting read! In-Progress. 9 Chapters so far.)

AUs:

One-shots

  • you, me, and the moon by @heart-eyes-santiago (“Amy Santiago’s whole world is turned upside when her brother, Manny, invites his best friend and college roommate to stay for the summer. Enter Jake Peralta, his inability to win a game of scrabble, and his ability to win Amy’s heart.” Cuuute!)

Multi-Chapters

  • if you want me to stay, i will stay by your side by @elsaclack (“For someone whose job requires an unusually large amount of personal risk on a near daily basis, Amy Santiago has not dedicated much time considering how she might one day die. The vague assumption that it will probably happen on the job - via stray bullets or careening cars or massive explosions - has been enough to satisfy any musing.She never imagined doctor’s visits or specialist consultations or diagnoses. She never imagined hospital gowns and thinning hair and chemotherapy. And she never, ever imagined cancer.“ 50/50 AU.The Ultimate Angst fic, but it’s amazing! (Better have some tissues ready, though.) In-Progress. 6/11 Chapters as of yet.)
  • Amy and Jake’s Epic Detour by @hotelsweet (”When 18 yr old Amy Santiago needs to make the trip to New York City for her first year of college, family friend Jake Peralta steps in as a favour- but the week that’s about to follow is one that neither of them could have predicted.” THIS. This story is an experience, my friend, and you really should read this because it’s amazing and has an awesome playlist for every chapter and is just AMAZING, okay? Okay. Complete. 10 Chapters.)
  • everything is easier when you’re home by @sergeant-santiago (”Amy Santiago loves her new apartment. One bedroom, one bathroom, good neighborhood and decent rent. One thing she does not love? Her neighbors. More precisely, whoever lives in the apartment that shares a paper thin wall with hers.” Neighbor AU. Awesome! In-Progress. 4 Chapters so far.)
  • Camps Safe and Amusing by Talking_Bird (”Amy Santiago was NOT excited to be a camp counselor for a bunch of bratty twelve-year-olds, but she was even less excited to have a jerk like Jake Peralta be her group partner. A fluffy, slow-burn fic with awkward, nerdy Amy and cocky, insensitive Jake.“ Really cool and sweet, it has an awesome bet and everything! Complete. 8 Chapters.)
  • You’re the Only Song I Want to Hear by Talking_Bird (”Amy is having a really hard time adjusting to college life as an Art Major, but a mysterious pianist in the music conservatory keeps her sane // Jake just wants to do what he loves, but everyone else wants him to be practical. Everyone, that is, except for one person…College AU.” Highly recommended because it’s stupid good. Really. Plus, there is a great piano piece to go with each chapter. Complete. 10 Chapters. )
  • The Detective and The Squad by @three-drink-amy  (”Amy Santiago is a brilliant detective, quickly burning out on her job. Jake Peralta is a famous actor recently relocated to NYC for his new TV show “The Squad.” What will happen when Amy is assigned to be the police consultant for Jake’s new show?” Goood… Really good. In-Progress. 6 Chapters so far.)
  • around my heart like a coronary artery by @the-pontiac-bandit (”Amy Santiago enters NYU Medical School with prep books, a 60-set of colored pens, and a plan. Jake Peralta walks in with gummy bears and orange soda.” Medical students AU. Every chapter represents a year. AMAZING! In-Progress. 2/5 Chapters so far.) 

Sooo… this is a fic rec of quite respectable size, huh? ^^; Would anybody be interested in me continuing/updating this? Let me know! (I assembled this in various stages of consciousness/being awake, so I’m sorry if some of my “reviews/thoughts” on some of the fics are a little too rambly or short - I love them all so much, my dear writers; you are all incredibly awesome! 💕 )

6

We are all starting to realize this is a problem. So if we support each other, we realize “OK. Three percent of DPs are female. That is not right.” What can we do to help nurture female cinematographers? What can we do to nurture female writers and directors? We are missing female point of views. And that begins for me at the script level.

- Jessica Chastain

Jessica Chastain directed by women by filmography:

Texas Killing Fields dir. Ami Canaan Mann - 2011
The Color of Time dir. Edna Luise Biesold, Sarah-Violet Bliss, Gabrielle Demeestere, Alexis Gambis, Brooke Goldfinch, Shripriya Mahesh, Pamela Romanowsky, Bruce Thierry Cheung, Tine Thomasen, Virginia Urreiztieta, Omar Zúñiga Hidalgo - 2012
Zero Dark Thirty dir. Kathryn Bigelow - 2012
Miss Julie dir. Liv Ullmann - 2014
The Zookeeper’s Wife dir. Niki Caro - 2017
Woman Walks Ahead dir. Susanna White - 2017

It is natural to feel like you don’t know where you are heading, but you have a whole lifetime to figure it out. Don’t let no school, no job, no person or no government scheme tell you what you should or shouldn’t be. You are infinite, you can be whatever you so wish, and if you wish to just be happy, then be that.
— 

Just be happy by Amy Kennedy

12/04/17

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haylestorming  asked:

Librarian/avid reader for Jake/Amy, please! :D

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First of all, I’m so, so, SO sorry that it has taken me forever and a day to fill this request! I blame life and work and apps and writer’s block, BUT I am back from my hiatus and hoping that this will kick off a good period of writing! Second, I’ve gotta say a huge thank you for this prompt because I’ve been meaning to write more for the Library AU I posted about way back when! I hope you like this!!!!!!!!!!!  ♡♡♡

Extended B99 + Library AU: If Terry hadn’t flaked on coming to read to the pre-schoolers like he always did every other Wednesday, Amy wouldn’t be in this mess.

That is to say: she wouldn’t be hardcore crushing on Brooklyn’s most infuriating library assistant.

Kevin nods gravely, holding the desk phone to his ear. “That’s alright, Mr. Jeffords. I do hope your twins recover quickly. If I remember correctly, it took quite awhile for Raymond’s nephew to get over his bout of the chicken pox ages ago. Yes. Yes - Please let me know if they would like any reading material to help pass the time while home from school. Of course. Not to worry, Mr. Jeffords. We’ll see you two weeks from now. Goodbye.”

He puts the phone down and sighs, loud enough for Amy to look up from the essay she’s writing. “Is something wrong, Sir?”

“That was Mr. Jeffords, our volunteer reader. He’s meant to read to the pre-schoolers in 15 minutes, but it seems his daughters got sent home suddenly with the chicken pox.” He frowns, turning his head to look across the hall, where kids are starting to gather around the reading nook. “Well, I suppose I could read them one of my childhood favorites. Amy, do you think I should go with Beowulf or The Iliad?”

“Uhm -”

Jake pops out from between nearby shelves at that moment, sparing Amy from having to point out how absurd the librarian’s options are. “Sir, with all due respect, I’m not sure those kiddos want to listen to you read either of those books. Let me handle this, Kev. 9 out of the 15 books I’ve read to date are children’s books, so I think I’ve got this.”

He sprints off before either of them can get a word in and returns four and a half minutes later with a small stack of books in his arms. Kevin inspects his selection, hums approvingly, then directs him to the chair in front of the reading area.

Jake makes his way over and smiles widely, greeting the children and cracking a few jokes as they wait for everyone to settle down. The kids giggle and chatter loudly, already excited for storytime to start.  

After leaving a note at his front desk, Kevin drags a chair over to sit behind the pre-schoolers. He doesn’t usually join in on these sessions, but he has a hunch that his excitable, somewhat reckless new assistant is going to surprise him this afternoon.

Amy intended to remain at her usual table and to focus on her essay for at least the next two hours, but Jake’s booming voice followed by the chorus of laughter from the children has her lugging her backpack, laptop, and coffee cup over to a nearer desk.

She manages to get through a paragraph and a third when Jake starts doing exaggerated impressions for each character. She looks up from her work just as he’s huffing and puffing as the Big Bad Wolf, and she chuckles despite herself.

When the kids shriek in combined fear and glee, completely engaged in his storytelling, she finds that she’s just as enthralled. She has to admit, she maybe had Jake pegged wrong; there evidently was more to this disaster of a librarian assistant than his terrible organizational skills and infuriatingly cheeky remarks.

He must somehow read her mind as she considers her own change of heart because he locks eyes with her for a second then winks before seamlessly returning to his narration. The action makes her stomach flip and her ears burn, and a part of her hates that she’s still unable to tear her attention away from him.


Months later, Amy finds herself pressed back against a shelf with the spine of an encyclopedia digging into her shoulder. A book drops on the floor beside her and another one follows shortly after that, but Jake is kissing her, nipping at her lip and trailing a hand down her back, so really she couldn’t care less about aches or messes. It briefly occurs to her that this is incredibly inappropriate, but he starts to kiss and suck at the spot below her ear so that thought’s forgotten entirely.

As fate would have it, Raymond walks past the scene on his way to surprise Kevin at work and is stunned speechless. The two somehow completely miss his presence, and he eventually turns and makes a beeline for his husband’s desk. “Kevin, I believe your library assistant and Ms. Santiago are, shall we say, getting familiar with each other by the periodicals section.”

Kevin chuckles, shaking his head. “Ah, I suppose I am aware of that. Leave them be, Raymond. It’s about time those two did something other than argue or ogle each other from across the room.”

2

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