Svlad Cjelli. Popularly known as Dirk, though, again, “popular” was hardly right. Notorious, certainly; sought after, endlessly speculated about, those too were true. But popular? Only in the sense that a serious accident on the motorway might be popular - everyone slows down to have a good look, but no one will get too close to the flames. Infamous was more like it. Svlad Cjelli, infamously known as Dirk.
@spanglesandsass and i came up with an idea where lupita, a successful business woman moving across the country for a promotion, moves in next door to amy, a slightly frazzled single mom trying to do her best… and who just so happens to be an assassin
B99 + Apartment AU: in which Jake, Charles, Rosa, and Amy live together while attending the police academy.
They technically see each other every day at training, but they all still try to hang out together once a week. (Usually movie nights, occasionally game nights, sometimes with alcohol, always in pajamas.)
Charles offers to make dinner for all of them some time during their first week together. – He makes a dish involving bull testicles and is never allowed to cook for them again. (He’s still allowed to make hot cocoa though, which Jake asks for every time he comes home with a bruise.)
Amy dies a little on the inside every morning Jake sleepily pads into the kitchen, hair still messed up from sleep and voice still a bit hoarse.
The smoke alarm goes off almost every time Amy attempts to cook something.
The number of times Amy has thought about just walking over to Jake’s room and kissing him senseless is r i d i c u l o u s.
Rosa has at least three extra locks on her door, and none of the others have seen the inside of her room. (After catching Gina sneak out of there the morning after their graduation, Jake bribes her into telling him exactly how it looks like.)
Jake somehow manages to leave various articles of clothing everywhere, and this annoys Amy to no end. (Partly because each rumpled shirt just makes her think about what it would feel like to tear his clothes off herself.)
Amy puts a calendar on their fridge and implements a cleaning schedule, with the chores all divvied up between the four of them. Jake complains very loudly about this at first but later has a ton of fun dancing around their living room while vacuuming and scream-singing Taylor Swift songs.
Charles regularly helps Rosa with her texting game. (Amy tries to contribute at some point, but her offer to proofread messages is quickly shot down.)
From her room, Amy hears the door slamming closed followed by the sound of muffled voices and giggling. She peaks her head out a bit, and her stomach lurches when she catches a blur of bodies making their way toward Jake’s room. She crashes at Kylie’s that night because the walls in their apartment are thin, and she doesn’t want to hear a thing. (It’s a drunken one night stand that doesn’t come to anything because the girl’s apparently in law school studying to be a defense attorney.)
Charles and Rosa do yoga together on Sunday mornings. They try to get Jake and Amy into it, but Jake just makes a joke out of everything, and Amy becomes weirdly competitive about it.
Jake once woke everyone up at an ungodly hour because he had been watching a nature documentary and yelling over the grossness of live births. He since then has been banned from watching nature documentaries past midnight.
Every so often (more and more frequently as time passes), Jake and Amy find themselves sitting on the floor of their living room way past 2 am, just talking and laughing. (Charles and Rosa can hear them from their rooms, but neither of them say anything about it.)
Through the wall between their rooms, Rosa can hear Amy creepily singing songs before each big test/evaluation at the academy. The third time this happens, Rosa knocks on Amy’s door and stays with her until she’s calmed down. (”You’ll do great. Stop stressing, dum-dum.”)
Jake runs out of shampoo and doesn’t want to dig through Charles’ erotic shampooing kit, so he sneaks into the girls’ bathroom and steals a bit from the first bottle he sees. (Turns out it’s Amy’s, and it drives him nuts that he smells like her the whole day. Amy somehow doesn’t notice, but Rosa threatens to castrate him if he ever enters their bathroom again.)
Charles likes to blast show tunes while doing chores or cooking large meals (or doing anything, really). They’ve all had front row seats to his renditions of choice songs from Oliver, Annie, and Cats.
Amy’s usually pretty neat, so Rosa is shocked to enter her room to find nuts all over the floor… and on her shirt, and in her hair, and somehow on her bed a few feet away. (”Jake said I couldn’t catch any of these with my mouth, so I’m just-” “Don’t care. Call me if you grab each other’s asses.”)
Jake’s been thinking of asking Amy out for ages, but he’s too afraid of the potential fallout. Both Charles and Rosa try to talk him into doing something about his feelings.
Amy once catches Jake coming out of the shower with just a towel wrapped around his waist. Needless to say, all work was forgotten that evening, and she had to take a long shower herself.
It’s during one of their 3 am heart-to-heart convos that Jake and Amy finally kiss, and they don’t end up sleeping until the sun starts to rise. When Amy comes out of Jake’s room close to lunch time (donning one of his checkered shirts, because her pajama top is nowhere to be found), she finds a spread of various aphrodisiacs (courtesy of Charles) and a box of condoms (courtesy of Rosa) on their dining table.