ami only pretends to know what it's saying half the time

4. “I just had to see you.”

A/N: Hiya. Sorry I’ve had super bad writers block lately, and it’s kinda late, but i was supposed to go out with my roommate tonight and well she fell asleep so here I am writing instead. Apologies for any typos, I’m exhausted and finals killed me. Again: all my ish is tagged under “ficshit” 

Here’s the list
1. Oh my God, you’re in love with her
2. You’re too good for this world
3. It’s about damn time

Chloe had gotten an internship. Chloe was leaving. Chloe was leaving Beca for six months and there was nothing she could do to stop her. Chloe was LEAVING FOR SIX MONTHS and Beca hadn’t told her how much she loved her, let alone at all.

It’s not like she didn’t try to tell her. She did the cliche flowers randomly sent to her last class of the day and the buying of the coffee and literally everything she’d learned from all the movies the girls forced her to watch and yet, nothing.

“Amy, I can’t just go tell her! She’s leaving! She won’t leave if I tell her and I can’t do that to her. She’s worked too hard to get where she’s going, I’m not gonna be that girl.” Beca practically screamed to Amy over the phone. She was driving home from her own internship and Amy had called her because she saw that Chloe was almost done packing up her things. 

“Beca, come on! She won’t. She probably already knows.”

“I’m not willing to take that risk, I can’t lose her entirely. It’s only six months, I’ll make it work.” she sighed and rubbed her hand over her face. Six months. Six months of no Chloe, of no late night cuddles where Beca pretends she hates when Chloe does that thing with the little curls on the back of her neck, and no Chloe telling her how much she loves her - even if it’s just platonically.

“Well, you’re the one driving her to the airport tonight - so just get home, ya?”

“I’ll be there in five.” she hung up.

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The Broken Heart of John Laurens

(I was inspired by the song Congratulations by Blue October. If you havent heard the song or see the lyrics you will know why. Anyways enjoy! Also sorry for the spacing. its a habit for some reason.)

“Is that seat taken?”

John looked up and he almost fell over in surprise.


“Alex! Its been forever!” he exclaimed.


Alex just laughed and sat down next to him. It seemed forever since Alex left the college they both attended. Alex was still as handsome for ever and John remembered the few “occurrences” they had. They both were lonely and stupid but John never regretted it. His chest still fluttered from the memories.


“May I ask why you’re at some women’s’ clothing store?” To be honest John forgot the name.


“You first.”


“Im trying to help Hercules get inspiration by taking pictures of clothing or something like that yet he asked a nurse for inspiration.” John said with a laugh.



Alex nodded in understanding and then looked towards the women’s’ changing room.


“Im waiting on my fiancee. Remember Eliza?” Alex said.



John’s eyes widened and his chest felt like someone shot it. However he faked happiness and grinned.


“Oh congratulations! Im sure the best of woman will be the best of wives.” John said laughing slightly.



Alex smiled and then looked at his phone. A sigh left his mouth but he only smiled wider.


“Eliza is sending me to the smoothie shop in the mall. She’ll be a while.” Alex said.



He then turned to John and held his hand out.



“Would you like to take a walk with me?”




As the months until the wedding turned into weeks John’s chest threatened to collapse on itself. Herc and Laf were excited to learn their old  friend was getting married. They were even happy for John being the best man. Around his friends John would fake happiness and tell jokes when his heart would beg to stop. The four decided to get drunk together before the wedding. Not like a bachelors party but a hang out kind. Soon Alex had his pants on his head while doing an impression of an elephant and he forgot they were there. John thought it was too funny so he didn’t let the shorter man know. Everything was going great until Herc said something.


“Y'know I always thought you would marry John yeah?”



Laf and Alex laughed and it seemed like a joke for everyone. Everyone but John. John pretended to laugh awkwardly but his eyes were watering. No one seemed to notice and Alex just patted a hand on John’s back.


“We could fuck for old times sake. Heck you could join Eliza and I for our wedding night!” he said with an eyebrow waggle or something trying to be that.


“I-I’d rather not Alex.” John replied.


“But you’re sho pretty!”


“Alex..”


John wanted to get out of Herc’s apartment and go home. But everyone was laughing and Alex was insisting.


“You’re still as pretty as we met Jack..” Alex said in a more lower voice that sent shivers down John’s spine.



Alex slid a hand up John’s thigh and that was enough.



“Alex I said no!” John said as he stood up suddenly.



“Geez are you cranky or ssshhomething?” Alex asked clearly trying to be funny.



“No. Im done ok? You left me on your own accord . You got engaged to Eliza. You dont get to do that anymore!” John said.


John could feel his tears sliding down.


“You left me.”


Laf then stood up and walked John into Herc’s bedroom and held him as John sobbed and shouted into the Frenchman’s chest. Laf was always a great friend and knew how to comfort others the right way.


“Shh….”


Eventually John fell asleep and when he woke up he was in the guest bedroom. His head hurt too much. Soon the memories of the previous night flooded back and John managed to hold back the tears. He got out of bed, got dressed and walked into the living room. Laf and Alex were sitting on the couch watching some sort of boring show.



“Good morning mon ami. There are omelettes on the counter over there.” Laf greeted with a smile.



John could see the slight sadness in Laf’s eyes but he ignored it. He got his food and sat on the floor. The food was good but he hurt to much to appreciate it.


“We should do this again. I assume I blacked out because of my lack of memories.” Alex said.


“Im sure Eliza would hate us for getting you drunk like that again. You had your pants on your head.” John said with a cheeky grinn.


Alex said something like Don’t patronize me boy. John  finished his food and said left early saying he had a lot of work to do at home. However when he went home he curled up in bed and sobbed until he passed out. He missed three texts and a call from Alex.




John helped Alex tie his green tie. Everyone was in a flurry for the wedding. Herc was helping the ladies with makeup, hair and dresses and Laf was assisting him since he was better at hair. John hated that he was alone with Alex. His chest was tight and the lump in his throat wouldn’t leave. He feigned happiness though. He feigned it for Alex.


“Alrighty Mr. Groom! The tie has been tied.” John said slightly dramatically.


It made Alex laugh and John almost lost it there. He knew that laugh wouldn’t be his ever again but he had to be strong. Thats when he noticed his hands were still on the other’s chest. He quickly removed his hands and put them in his pockets.


“You look great man! You practically are the belle of the ball.” John said half sincere half teasing.


Alex’s smile seemed strained and he just stared at John. Thats when he hugged John tightly. The two were very close. John only awkwardly hugged back. Tears threatened to fall.


“Im sorry for leaving you. Im sorry for never having the courage to officially ask you out. I-Just lately i’ve been thinking what would have happened if we got together.”



John held Alex closer and let a tear fall. Soon a tear became five and five became ten. John however managed to keep his voice from wavering.


“You would just be unhappy. You’re marrying a smart, pretty and independent woman Alex. You are so lucky! I’m so happy for you. The both of you.”John said with what was left of his resolve.  


Alex smiled at him but you could tell he was still pained. Just then Herc knocked on the door.


“Alex it’s time! You better be ready!”


The two separated and followed their friend to the chapel. The wedding went on without a hitch and Eliza was absolutely stunning. She lit up the whole place and John swore some blue birds dressed her instead of Angelica and Herc. There were tiny blue flowers in her hair and her dress was soft and flowed very nicely. She was the very definition of a bride. It made John happy and envious. The two exchanged rings, kissed and went to the reception hall with everyone else. John lagged behind and decided to just go sit in the parlor where he got Alex ready. Every emotion was pressing to be released but he had to hold on. He didn’t want to ruin this for Alex.


“Aren’t you going to join us mon ami?”


John looked up to see Laf walk over and sit next to him like the mom friend he was.



“I will in a bit. I just needed to answer a phone call.” he lied.


“John I know a broken heart when I see one.” Laf said seriously but not harshly.



Thats when John started to sniffle. The sniffle turned into a full blown sob. Wails and hiccups filled the room as John let everything out.



“I cant change this! I can never take it back! I can never change his mind and I cant take it! My pain wont cover up Laf!” he sobbed.


Laf just sat listening. John couldn’t see through the  tears but he could tell his friend’s face was of sorrow and remorse for the the other. John just let everything he built up over the months and years of being alone and heartbroken by the man he adored the most. The two sat there till the smaller man no longer shook with sobs and wails. John felt better and he felt numb but it was fine.


“Laf..I think im just gonna go for a drive. Can you give my speech to Alex? Just say something came up at the hospital and I had to go. Please?” John said as he handed over index cards to Laf.


“I will make sure he gets it. Please be safe John..” Laf said as he gave his friend a tight hug.


When the two separated and Laf made sure John left alright he returned to the reception hall when he was immediately bombarded with Alex.



“Where’s John? Did you find him?” Alex asked worriedly.


“When I found him he had just gotten off of a phone call with the hospital. They needed him ASAP so he left. He’s sorry and told me to give these to you.” Laf lied.


As Alex read the speech John was driving somewhere else. He eventually found himself in Central Park somehow and he sat down on a bench alone. He remembered this was where he and Alex first kissed. He smiled at the bittersweet memory and looked up at the tree branches above him.



“Make it go away.”

Let Me Breathe ft Jimin - Part 2

Originally posted by the-rap-man

a couple of you requested for a second part of “Let Me Breathe” so here it is ^_^

Word Count: its quite long 

Warning: Suicide attempt

it’s been 2 and a half weeks since I left Jimin. I’d been staying with my friend Amy for the time being and finally found a beautiful apartment to start my new life without Jimin.
If it wasn’t for Amy for taking me in, I don’t even know where I would be, Jimin had been calling me and texting me everyday ever since I left him.

12 missed calls ; 14 texts - Jimin- Don’t Answer

“Aren’t you going to answer that Y/N-ah?” Amy enquired

“No, it’s Jimin-ssi”
“Oh, is it really over between you two, you know you guys were my favourite couple, you only argued like once and everything was worked out within 15minutes after the argument” she pleaded trying to make light of the situation.

You see Amy sort of shipped us while he was with his ex, they were together for 8months before he caught her with someone else. I was just the bestfriend that supported him when he refused to do anything on his days off so I would pester him at the dorm, bring junk food and force him to have a movie marathon with me consisting of all his old time faves. I was his shoulder to cry on, being as we were best friends I listened to everything he had to say. I protected him when he was most vulnerable, somehow giving him the strength to confess all his feelings he’s ever had for me since we met 6years ago.

When he finally asked me to be with him 2 months after recovering from having his heart broken he wanted to be the best he could be for me, or so I thought, he was working on himself constantly trying to make me proud to call him mine, even though I reassured him that when he’s not trying I’m the most proudest, due to him just being in my life was gift enough for me.

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7th Grade: A Stalker Weeb Story

(Names have been changed)

Seventh grade is a dark time for everyone.

My friend Katie and I were pretty big weebs back then, constantly seeking other people who had a deep love for anime. Little did we know, out there, in our school, there was someone who could out-weeb us.

It first began in math class, when our teacher announced that a student that had been sick for a while was going to be returning to school. This student, was Daniel, as I will call him. Katie and I had known him only through the rumors of others. Apparently, he had some sort of immune disorder, causing him to be hospitalized frequently and miss quite a bit of school. People often described him as “quirky”, “different”, and “nice, but weird.” As weebs ourselves, we knew these terms well. These were terms other people would refer to us by. We named him as sort of a “contender” for possibly liking anime, and decided to invite him to our group when he returned.

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anonymous asked:

Sorry I misunderstood I thought you were defending Sabrina as a character.

Oh Most Definitely I Am.

Until I get further info from the show I feel like there’s absolutely nothing so far that warrants the fandom blindly attacking Sabrina’s character for “Faking It” with Amy.

Its hypocritical for us to judge Sabrina more harshly for her actions when she seems to be doing much of the same things the rest of the cast have done (lying, plotting, starting relationships based on fake premises)

BUT she for real still has a long-distance boyfriend

Not to sound too callous and unfeeling here, but so what?

A steady stream of infidelity has run through this show since the onset. Karma has been cheating on Amy with Liam since the beginning of the series. Liam and Amy betrayed Karma at the end of season one.

If 3 of the 5 show leads can be redeemed after cheating on their partners why can’t Sabrina?


BUT Sabrina’s lying about her identity JUST to get closer to Amy.

And the problem with that is what exactly?

  • This is the same show that opens with Karma pretending to be spontaneously blind to gain favor with the school, then “make a triumphant return” as a gleaming, miraculously sighted popular person by Prom night.
  • BOTH Amy and Karma lied about their sexualities and pretended to be a couple for months on end, which eventually led to Amy developing concrete feelings for Karma.

I see no reason why the same can’t be true for Sabrina and Amy. What we know of Sabrina’s character so far is that she’s had a pre-established desire to become closer to Amy even way back long ago.
There may be a deeper context at play here that explains the feelings of jealousy and the extremes to which her push for a closer relationship with Amy  have taken shape in the present day. Knowing this show, its probably something that Sabrina herself may not truly understand yet.

That dawning realization could be, at the heart of it, a solid base for genuine feelings, much like what happened with Amy’s character in season 1 and what’s currently happening with Karma’s character from season 2 into season 3.

Also keep in mind Karma and Amy’s couple ruse had a much weaker reasoning behind it (Karma wanted to become popular & impress the most popular boy in school while Amy wanted to make Karma happy)

Whereas Sabrina seems to be doing all of this to become a closer friend to Amy than she’s ever been previously able to achieve due to Karma’s constant presence in Amy’s life.


Sabrina’s taking it WAY too far though, cutting out Karma.

Not necessarily. Desperate times and all…

We’ve been able to see how impenetrable Karma and Amy’s bond has become over 3 seasons now. It can withstand anything and leaves little space for new entrants.

Look at how Queen Bee Lauren Cooper was chewed up and spit out by the “hurts-so-good” emotional roller-coaster we affectionately know as Karmy just this season alone. 

When Amy returned from her summer away, Lauren was adamant that Amy stand her ground with Karma and not apologize “Resist the urge to forgive, Jesus wasn’t right about everything…”

It was Lauren who insisted all along that the Hump Day video be released so that Karma be forced into home-schooling. It wasn’t enough for her that Karmy were already on the outs,

Lauren wanted to resort to overkill to eliminate Karma, keep Amy as her sister, & ensure her position as Amy’s new #1. But why?

Why was Lauren so scared that if Amy and Karma were friends again then she’d have no place left for her as Amy’s friend as well? Shouldn’t all of the progress they’ve made as sisters been enough of a comfort for her that their relationship wouldn’t change? Why didn’t she trust Amy’s assurances that she’d remain a priority in her life?

Because Lauren wisely knows that if Karma’s in the picture, then Amy may as well be blind, deaf and dumb to the rest of the world. She’s a textbook Karmasexual, she’s a Karma-fiend. Nothing gets through to her if Amy’s all “hopped up on a dose of Karma”

So its no surprise that when Karma and Amy got back on good terms Lauren and Amy’s previous closeness took a major step backwards, which culminated in Lauren moving out. I understand that their relationship is still much better now  than when the series first premiered off, but its nowhere near as deep as it was during Karmygeddon and some of Amy’s most dire moments. And this is #QueenLauren we’re talking about here. Queen Lauren lost a battle…

  • Queen Lauren who  single-handedly defeated Principal Turner’s school-board and rescued Hester from certain annihilation.

  • The same girl who interviewed on Huffington Post Live and became a viral video and social-media sensation.

  • Lauren, who is well on her way to successfully parlaying her “inspirational fame into an aspirational lifestyle brand”.

If the Goddess herself, Lauren Cooper is no match for Karmy how can any mere mortal stand a chance?


Its because of Lauren’s failure to make inroads with Amy that I can gain a better appreciation for Sabrina’s methodical approach.

With Sabrina, unlike the case with Lauren, this wasn’t her first “Karmy Rodeo”. Sabrina has plenty of memories from Camp Kichi-WaWa informing her decisions upon her surprise return to Austin.

Having firsthand knowledge of how impossible it is to gain any quality one-on-one time with Amy, that her bestie Karma can’t steal focus from & invade, Sabrina is wise to want to give herself an edge here.

A shared secret that she begs Amy not to spill to Karma is the perfect way in. I can’t hate the player when the game has been consistently rigged in Karma’s favor up until now.

And Sabrina making that secret a tacit admission that she’s “not so sure about her sexuality” is just the icing on the cake.

That’s the one area where Karma can’t reach her.
The one place Karma refuses to go.


Because Karma is “Straight

Like I’m sure a lot of viewers were, I have to say I was rather put off when I started seeing Karma’s character repeat the steady refrain of “I’m Straight” way back when in season 2…

Something about it really irked me…

To have a Major Character, and One-Half of the show’s Central Pairing state the ABSOLUTE opposite of what so much of the fandom and the viewers wanted to hear… It was like nails on a chalkboard every time they mentioned it. And they KEPT mentioning it time and time again.

But having Sabrina appear in this back half of Season 3 episodes as a perfect mirror to Karma except in that ONE way; I really like where the writers took this particular story thread, and I can appreciate the groundwork they laid for it now.

When you Break-Down Karma/Amy/Sabrina’s Commonalities:

  • All 3 girls share an earlier history that predates high school

  • Independently, Karma+Amy & Sabrina+Amy can get along extremely well and have an easy and extremely intimate rapport

  • But ONLY Amy and Sabrina have the shared experience of confiding out loud that they’ve been actively questioning their sexuality

On 2 out of the 3 bullets Karma and Amy are perfectly in sync but where Sabrina hits her is on that last bullet, which also just so happens to be the one that most directly pertains to Amy’s current state of mind and is the most recent and major personal development in her life as of late.

It’s a critical blow to Karma, and a perfect shot in the arm for boosting Sabrina’s appeal. She and Amy become further removed from Karma’s prying influence. Able to connect on a deeper more personal level than ever before.


For both Karma and Amy, so much of what neither Liam nor Reagan could measure up to as far as a Romantic partner goes, involved the depth of Karmy’s Past.

But with Sabrina, that point is largely moot. Sabrina, Amy, and Karma all share a past, so that’s no longer the defining obstacle here. If anything the Past becomes one of Karma’s more hindering qualities towards stopping the Sabrina/Amy pairing since in the more recent past, she’s been a key contributor to much of Amy’s pain.

Meaning Amy may seek out Sabrina even more aggressively because of the painful past she and Karma share, in the hopes that Sabrina may offer an escape.

As she stands now, Sabrina is previously unexplored by Amy as a potential love interest. She’s free of the devastation & disappointment that Karma’s been loaded down with over 10 years and multiple seasons, and can offer Amy an off-ramp that veers away from the looping “track that runs through her heart over and over again”.


For the first time ever, Karma will be the odd-woman out, unable to relate to or fully appreciate Sabrina or Amy’s experiences (unless there’s something she’s finally willing to confess). She’ll become the lowly “Third Amiga” who gets left behind in the shuffle..


Sabrina/Amy’s romance offers so much potential for this show for me.

Amy and Sabrina are already incredibly cute together. I never thought I’d like a pairing that stood in such direct opposition to the Karmy ship this much but I really do. Its such good fodder for other stories and parallels.


Sabrina is EXACTLY like Karma a liar, manipulator, clinically insecure and selfish person who uses complex schemes to serve her own means… HOWEVER…

Sabrina is also EXACTLY like Karma, a cute, funny, down to Earth girl from Amy’s past that makes her happy and could really have a future with her if she was willing to try

What if Karma lied, cheated-on and deceived Amy the whole time but realized she actually DID reciprocate her feelings in the end and turned those feelings into a real relationship. Well that’s who Sabrina is.

She’s the girl that runs the long-con on Amy. Faking girlfriends out of spite towards Karma and a greed for Amy, until she accidentally slips up somewhere along the way and starts to fall for her for real.

It’s all of the character development that Karma’s undergone, with the necessary addition of some real-world follow through on Sabrina’s part.
Now Karma is forced to stand back and watch from the bushes as Sabrina takes advantage of her every missed opportunity with Amy.

Where Karma turned left Sabrina turns right. Where Karma stopped & changed direction Sabrina surges ahead. For Karma Its that cruelest form of torture to witness Sabrina easily avoid all her many pitfalls and mistakes and win Princess Sarcasm’s heart in the process.

Hopefully the show-runners can do Sabrina’s massive character potential justice…

dazzle me pink on the kitchen floor

i promised em i’d write an amnesia au so of course instead of doing that i went back and rewrote an older fic concept. oops. very shortly Post Florida, because I love these two kids

Gina’s purse has spilled all over the floor.

Which sucks, but that was her own bad aim – seriously, what is up with her today – dropping it too close to the edge of Amy’s kitchen counter and watching in mildly disinterested horror as it scraped off the edge and plopped onto the floor, its contents skittering everywhere.

The photo isn’t anything special, which is why Gina’s taken to keeping it at the very bottom of her purse. It makes its home underneath her two burner phones and three makeup bags and Dina Lohan’s face lotion, and that one scarf she likes with the angry flamingos on it. Of course, keeping it stuffed at the pit of her purse is probably why it’s now gotten crumpled at the corners, but Gina thinks that a little paper-creasing is worth her reputation.

Except the picture’s on the floor, now, between an ancient tube of lipstick and her hairdryer, and Jake’s hands have very visibly frozen in the middle of helping her clean her things off the floor.

She’d shown up at Amy’s – at their apartment on impulse, telling herself it was because she wanted to tease Amy about how she’d have a hard time keeping her clothes colour-coded and arranged by date purchased now that she was living with an actual human disaster. She’s not sure how much of that is actually true – maybe fifteen percent, the satisfaction derived from Teasing Amy Santiago (a spectator sport if there ever was one) very much present – only Amy isn’t actually there, and she turns her copy of the key in the lock and is faced with Jake’s back as he trips around the kitchen, looking simultaneously foreign and as though he was somehow born for the express purpose of fitting seamlessly into Amy Santiago’s cramped kitchen nook.

Their kitchen nook, Gina corrects herself. They’ve moved in together now. It’s all adult and official and everything.

Which is great, because not only does it mean that her sort-of little brother is no longer being hunted by a crazy criminal madman who wanted to string up his fingers as decoration, she also has a whole new arsenal of things to tease them about, now. The problem is, she’s gotten so used to sleeping on Amy’s couch (because her own apartment was boring, okay, and Amy’s was always where everyone was at and it always ended up being too late to go home anyway and – maybe a little so that she could make sure Amy was okay, it’s not like she wanted her company or that it was sometimes overwhelming to lay all alone in the dark and think and –)

She can’t quite describe the funny emptiness that she felt in her own place, but it wasn’t loneliness.

As if.

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everybody wants to live happily ever after

I have so many things I should be writing, but here’s a little snippet of Enchanted, Bellarke-style. Octavia’s maybe fourteen or fifteen, Bellamy’s a cop, and Clarke’s definitely not in Kansas anymore.  Tentative title from “That’s How You Know” from the Enchanted soundtrack, as sung by Amy Adams and composed by Menken and Schwartz.


She’s standing in the middle of his living room in a gigantic, poufy wedding dress that quadruples her footprint. Her fancy, curly updo has started to unravel but she doesn’t seem bothered by it. She’s fascinated by, of all things, the atomic clock on their bookshelf. It’s a fancy digital one that takes the temperature of the room and displays the phases of the moon, a gift from Raven for Christmas last year. She plucks it from its shelf and turns it over, a tiny frown creasing her brow, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.

“What if she’s an actual princess?” Octavia whispers from his shoulder. They’re watching her from the kitchen doorway like total creepers.

“I thought you outgrew that five years ago.” Bellamy sends her a dry look, to which she just sticks out her tongue. Octavia was only ever into princesses if she could wear the dresses and all the plastic jewels while swinging around a toy sword, slaying whichever monster she demanded Bellamy pretend to be.

“I’m saying, I don’t think she’s lying.”

“That’s what concerns me.”

No, you idiot.” Octavia swats him in the arm without any real force. “I just mean there’s something about her. She feels like a princess.”

And Bellamy doesn’t want to, but he gets where his sister is coming from. There is something about Clarke.

Whether the dress is a legitimate wedding dress or not, it’s so huge it must weigh a few dozen pounds. But she glides around his living room like it’s weightless. And she’s standing in front of their bay window, framed by moonlight and the New York skyline, and it’s like she glows, the light refracting off her hair, dusting across her skin.

But at the same time, Bellamy doesn’t miss the bags under her eyes or the sag to her shoulders.

He remembers with startling clarity how frightened she had looked in Times Square when he’d tugged her out of oncoming traffic, and his jaw still aches a little from the strength of her left hook.

But the smile she’d given Octavia was like the sun coming out, brilliant and blinding.

Maybe Octavia has a point.

“Your, um, your clock.” Clarke half-turns to face them, and yeah, her confused frown is kind of adorable. “I’ve never seen magic like this. How does it work?”

Bellamy blinks, but Octavia fucking grins. She skips over to Clarke’s side and takes the clock while Clarke pulls out the pendant that she’d been fiddling with absently. It’s a gold pocket watch, to match the thin gold chain it hangs on.

“It’s an atomic clock,” Octavia explains, “and it’s got a little computer to set the date and time zone, and there are two little sensors to read the inside and outside temperatures.”

“So there’s no—where’s the mechanism that keeps time?”

“There’s some sort of internal thing. Something about electrons and microwaves.” Octavia rolls her eyes. “Raven is really bad at explaining stuff, but she was tired of Bellamy always being late to their group things. So, the best clock ever. Problem solved.”

“Ah.” Clarke nods, but she still looks confused. She casts a look over at him and her hand tightens around the pocket watch, and there’s a trace of fear there. She doesn’t understand, and it scares her.

“Hey,” he says, “are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?”  Mostly, he tells himself, because it’s after eight and his own stomach is rumbling.

“Ooh, yeah! I’m starving.” Octavia abandons the clock and rushes past him to go dig through the fridge. “But there’s like nothing in here to eat,” she despairs, throwing him a caustic glare. “You were supposed to go shopping.”

“I was going to go tonight,” Bellamy shoots back, “but obviously we got sidetracked. I was thinking breakfast for dinner. We still have that pancake mix?”

Octavia digs around in the pantry and gives a triumphant whoop when she finds the box. Clarke is still standing in front of the window, looking lost.

“Does that sound alright?” Bellamy steps up behind the couch, his hands in his pockets. Clarke draws herself upright and meets his gaze levelly. “I can do eggs, too, and I think we’ve got some sausage around somewhere.”

“We’ve got frozen fruit and yogurt for smoothies, too!” Octavia pipes up, already pulling out the milk to mix the pancake batter.

Bellamy does his best to soften his expression, and gives her a smile.

Clarke’s shoulders sag, but when she wraps her arms around her waist, the smile she gives him is soft and grateful. “Thank you,” she says. “That would be lovely.”

foxfireflamequeen  asked:

I'm just gonna send you a lot of prompts and you write whatever strikes your fancy. Sorry they're all Bucky-centric. Something with Bucky and animals?

*coughs* Er, warning - all animals in this story tend to wind up as dinner.  Or breakfast.  Because I apparently have to subvert prompts and canon at all cost.

* * *
The first time it happened, Barnes shrieked and fell out of a tree.  Morita, who had been spotting for their sniper, quickly swung down after him, landing in a crouch beside Cap, who was snorting with laughter and clutching his ribs.

“Damnit, Steve,” Sarge grumbled, kicking Cap gently in the leg.  “I’m telling you, it was huge!  And staring right at me, like some kind of squirrel Nazi spy!  What if they’re experimenting on animals?”

Tears started leaking from Captain America’s eyes, and Jones had bitten down hard on his bottom lip to hide his smile as he checked Sarge for injuries.  

“Right,” Rogers gasped out, wiping at his face and avoiding his best friend’s glare.  He glanced up at Jim.  “Fresno, you should take Dum Dum and make sure that tree is –” Cap lost the battle with his laughter, and paused to start chuckling again.  “Erm, clear of enemy squirrels.”

“Steve, you ass!” Barnes shouted, launching himself at the world’s ideal soldier and putting him in a headlock.  Jim raised his eyebrows, and Dugan followed him back up into the tree, where they could howl with laughter out of their sergeant’s reach.  “See if I shoot you anything for dinner!” Barnes hollered up after them, and even Gabe couldn’t help but snort.

“I don’t know about dinner, Sarge,” Jones said quietly, sounding solemn.  “I mean, what if you hit Bambi?”

This time Dum Dum fell out of the tree, still chortling, and Jim looked down to see Barnes sitting on Rogers’s chest—proof that the ideal soldier didn’t stand a chance against someone who’d been tickling him for years.

* * *

They were too deep in Nazi territory for Stark to come get them, headed over the Rhine and into the Black Forest and another well-hidden Hydra plant.  By the second week the ace of clubs had been shot through, the three of diamonds had gone to splint Monty’s broken finger, and the rest of the cards were so worn that they could only play poker if everyone hid their clearly marked cards.  Monty had tried to pass the time by singing, but then they’d all nearly died in an ambush because Monty sang loudly enough to cover the sounds of crouching Nazi troops, and Cap banned singing.  Dum Dum tried entertaining them with circus tricks, but after a few days of pulling flowers from his hat even Dugan admitted the endless marching was deadly dull.

Then they went through the abandoned farmhouse, and Jones found The Story of Dr. Doolittle, only it was in French.  So Jackie read it aloud—quieter than Monty sang, and mostly in the evenings before dark fell and Sarge worried any light would give their position away—while Gabe translated for Dugan and Morita, and Monty occasionally decided to act out a scene.

He and Sarge had a long argument over which of them should be Chee-Chee, le singe.  Barnes lost, mostly because he woke everyone up before dawn one morning with a gunshot ringing in their ears.

“What?  What?” Cap shouted, half-deaf and half-asleep to boot, shield up and fumbling his gun into his right hand.  “Where are they?”

“Come out, you lily-livered Krauts!” Dugan taunted, fishing a grenade out of his bowler and tossing the hat onto his head.  “You yellow bastards!”

Stop, Barnes signed, then waited for them to signal that they could hear.  “I killed it,” he muttered, staring at the ground, the pink on his face a mirror to the clouds in the lightening east.

“Killed who?” Jim yawned, scrubbing at his face with both hands.  “A scout?”

“No,” Cap disagreed, toeing at something on the ground a few yards away.  “Thumper.  Sgt. Barnes saved us from a rabbit.”

“It was staring at me!” Sarge replied hotly, scowling at Rogers and pretending Jim’s yawn hadn’t turned into a hoarse laugh.  “All I could see were its eyes!”

Jackie joined Cap by the dead rabbit, shrugging one thin shoulder and glancing up at their squad leader.  “Petit déjeuner?” he wondered, and the others were hungry enough to assume that he was asking about food.

Steve shrugged, dragging his sergeant toward him with an arm around the neck, ignoring the elbow that dug into his waist.  “Why not?” he acquiesced.  “Might as well cook the Nazi rabbit, before his regiment wonders where he is.”

Shut up,” Barnes growled into Cap’s shoulder, and Cap laughed.

* * *

By the time they made it into the Swiss Alps, they had read L’histoire de Doctor Doolittle at least three times, and Barnes had threatened to clock the next Commando who called him ‘Chee-Chee’.

It was Sarge, of course, who got charged by the ibex.

“What the hell is that?” Morita wondered, watching the animal’s ridged horns as it bowled James right over into the snow and knocked the rifle out of his hand.

“Billy goat gruff?” Monty guessed, aiming his sidearm at the goat.  He didn’t shoot, though, because Sarge had decided to charge the billy goat, putting his head down and tackling the horned animal like he tackled Cap to the mats.

“Did zey teach you that, in your American army?” Jackie asked, standing next to Cap’s gun hand, the shield cocked on his other arm and ready to throw.

“No,” Rogers said, sounding proud and irritated all at once.  “They taught us that in Brooklyn.”  Then he leaned back, snapped “Bucky, get clear!” and tossed the shield in one smooth motion, trusting that his sergeant would follow orders better than the Commandos ever did.

“I told you, Stevie,” Barnes groaned from under several hundred pounds of mountain goat, “they’re creating a woodland Nazi army.”

They traded the ibex with a farmer for a quicker meal, but they kept the horns.  One for Cap, who’d killed the Nazi goat, and one for Barnes, who Cap said was almost as hardheaded as a mountain goat.

Jim had held onto both horns, because he wasn’t doing an end run on Zola’s train.  Hadn’t tried to return them to Steve, after, because even saying James’ name would set Cap’s face in stone and tighten everyone’s throats.  He put them on the mantel, once he got home to Fresno and Amy and the life Jim Morita had wanted before the war.

“What are those, daddy?” his daughter Jacqueline asked, thumb in her mouth and other chubby hand pointing at the ibex horns.

He scooped her up onto his hip, reaching out for the worn book propped up behind the horns.  “Let me tell you a story,” he said softly, kissing her temple and smiling when Amy peered out at them from the kitchen, her hand resting on the swell of her belly.  “About Doctor Doolittle, and Chee-Chee, the bravest of the monkeys.”

He put Jackie to bed before he came back to the mantel, tapping his glass gently against each horn in a silent toast, because Jim didn’t know any words big enough to thank them for his life.  To thank them for the humanity—James’ shriek at a squirrel and Steve’s laughter with his sergeant’s fingers digging into his ribs—that they’d sacrificed to save Jim from war.

Give Me Love Chapter 19

College roommates AU where Karma is not entirely fond of lesbians and Amy is unfortunately her roommate.

“Well, you’re starting to soften me up. Do you still remember the bitch who called you a dyke just to get pure misery out of you? The same bitch who would cringe whenever you came close?” Karma catches sight of the small smile that has lit up Amy’s eyes.

“Yeah, I do. I wonder where she went nowadays. I heard she got herself knocked up with that same dyke,” Amy says, playing along, “I heard that she supposedly changed and now she’s this amazing girl who makes someone laugh and fall in love a bit more. I heard that she’s in love with the dyke and that they’re currently living in this fantasy where an asshole guy best friend and a judgmental mom can’t interfere.”

“Sounds like something from a cheesy romance film,” Karma remarks.

Amy sighs, dropping her head down the table. She closes her eyes and Karma barely hears the next words that comes out of her lips.

“If only.” 

Previous Chapters.

A/N: I know. I know. I’m a shitty person for taking so long to update. And I am so so sorry for that. I’ve just been really busy with life right now, especially with all of my college exams coming up. And I’m not entirely happy with this chapter but I had to get something out. Anyway, you might want to expect a showdown between two characters.

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Cheerleaders

Anyone who knows me well enough knows that one of the ways I deal with anxiety is by purging. I go about deleting old chat logs, cleaning up emails, removing documents of rambling writing I never put in public - pretty much everything I can find. There’s one exception. It’s a group chat that has been going on for almost a year now.

I’ve been talking to Sarah and Liz on and off constantly in the same hangout chat. We talk about gaming, makeup, day to day life. If I have a moment of panic I can put it there and know that I will be heard, acknowledged, and never have to explain myself. I am not ashamed to say that Sarah and Liz are perhaps my best friends, despite the fact that  despite the fact I live in a small town in Tennessee and they both live quite a ways away (in Liz’s case, that’s another continent).

Besides our love for lipstick, glasses, feminism, we all really love gaming. When I got to meet Sarah finally in Origins 2016 what impacted me was how natural it was for me to be around her. One time after getting lost on a trail in my old neighborhood I spoke to Liz most likely looking like an insane person to those enjoying a nice afternoon stroll with their families as I walked by with my dog wearing a backpack and my ear to my phone shouting about racism or something of that sorts.

I trust them. I trust them with my insecurities and in exchange, they do the same. It’s one of the chats I do not delete although I often delete chats when anxious because I never want to burden anyone with my anxiety. They have always let me know I am not a burden or a bother to them and because of that, I feel the same towards them when they need to complain.

Feel the Feels

In the gaming community, there is a clear understanding that Imposter Syndrome does exist. I am constantly at its bidding. In my first project that I didn’t write along someone else, there was a community where everyone was sharing their writing. I noticed some people getting more praise than others and me just quietly sent everything to the creator only sharing once it was approved.

Then there’s that concern that you’re just getting work because not only are you a woman but you’re a woman of color.

“I worry that I am only getting work because I am a woman who is Asian and has a difficult last name to pronounce.” - Liz

“I feel like sometimes I’m just waiting for people to realize they made a mistake in hiring me.” - Sarah

I once read that the only way to get over the Imposter Syndrome is to do the work, but I think that is wrong. There have been many times when I have been in the middle of the project but am thinking I shouldn’t be writing it.

“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’ “ – Maya Angelou

Who Wants Diversity?

It’s like we’re ticking all the boxes but you know what’s worse about it? Being picked over someone else when someone claims they want diversity.

Example:

Someone asked for a person of color/woman for their recorded online game. I raise my hand before I become extremely small game famous (I suspect half my followers maybe be bots) because Vincent Baker shared an article I wrote. A white woman offers but she has more followers.

I am passed over.

Sweet.

Diversity, am I right?

Gimme That Puddin’

The strange thing is realizing you actually want the fucking praise. I’ve spent years of my life not wanting to be the center of attention but sometimes I find myself in this complex area where I want to do what I want to do without criticism but also get praised. As Amy Poehler once said, “Give me that pudding.”

When you are putting yourself out there you want some acknowledgment.

When Contessa won the ENnie for the best blog there was a walk out as Stacy accepted the win. I wasn’t there but boy did the internet not let me miss a beat about it.

Some people have told Sarah that they wouldn’t hire her because of Contessa.

In fact, all of us have agreed in saying we’re to talk about our resumes out loud some of us might be chastised in ways we cannot foretell. Even if these people don’t know us well and we are nothing but a speck of dust in these people’s universes. Our possible peers might see us as  ruined and possibly need saving, meaning someone needs to tell us of our sins if not we can’t play in your sandbox anymore.

I am a story gamer who has been hired twice by an OSR person who gave me a lot of creative freedom in the first project. They allowed me to change the races of the main character, add a woman wanting to be friends with another woman, and change the love story to one of a family instead of the typical hetero-normative romance.

I have been given more freedom to possibly change or make an impact in OSR games than in story games lately but you know, diversity and stuff.

We keep talking about getting different voices or perspectives but you know what’s pretty tiring? Seeing the same old white guys writing with the same old white guys.

You keep talking about diversity but the thing is a lot of times the diversity needs to happen and for any situation, you’re going to need to make these people leaders and by having diverse leaders you can encourage a diverse staff.

Oh, oh, I get it, you put in an application. A call out. A ‘Please share with all those pretty minorities to let them know I wish to hear from them’ but the thing that happens is rejection after rejection some of us decide to call it quits, go home and just play with our own friends. Don’t tell us we didn’t put in the work because we did we just got tired of being ignored in favor of the same white people who are hired instead.

Let me summarize up like this: We’re damn if we do and we’re damn if we don’t.

If I were to continue to work with OSR people there is going to be a moment that my paths might cross with someone my peers don’t like. I may not interact with them or even vaguely become friends but there are deepening fears that if I do, someone will pull the ejection button on my seat and haul me out of the atmosphere to make claims I am toxic.

That’s fucking scary.

And last I checked it’s a small, small circle of women of color in gaming.

It’s really hard to be a woman of color in this atmosphere. You want to talk about being a person of color but people who are not of color want to define that for you. You also have the pressure if you suddenly being the mouthpiece for your own race. I can’t speak for all Latina women, my experience as a Puerto Rican differs from someone from Mexican heritage or Brazilian heritage or someone with deeper Afro-Caribbean roots or even my little sister who passes as white and hates it. No experience is the same but the thing we can relate to is people getting comfortable as fuck and then vomiting out racism on your lap and expecting you to wipe their mouths afterward because you’re ‘friends’. That doesn’t even count the micro-aggressions which people love to pretend don’t exist.

Unfortunately for you, and by you I mean people that are on the top of the tier waving downwards hoping to throw a rope down to us poor folk down here hoping to make a good impression- you’re going to have to lend a fucking hand.

I know, it sucks. You want us all prepped and ready to go but you’re going to have to coach us and don’t tell people or color or women “Don’t be so insecure, be brave-” WE HAVE FELT REJECTION BEFORE AND THUS DO NOT BELIEVE YOUR SWEET WORDS! You’re going to have to hire all kinds of editors and people who are willing to coach if you see an ounce of a good thing in that person. You’re going to have to be- wait for it, A LEADER!

I KNOW! WOW! WHAT? SAY THAT AGAIN!

Lead.

Lead.

LEAD.

ER.

LEADER.

I am not saying this is hand holding. I am saying you’re going to have to pull people up.

You like someone’s work and want them to think about working for you? BE THEIR FUCKING CHEERLEADER! LOOK THE WORD LEADER IS IN CHEERLEADER! I AM A GENIUS!

You want someone to maybe feel good about their writing? TELL THEM HOW GREAT THEY ARE!

You feel like a writer needs to charge more? OFFER THEM A HIGHER PAY! DON’T WAIT FOR THEM!, THEY WILL GET THE HINT IF YOU OFFER FIRST!

Show them you fucking care about them. DO NOT WAIT FOR THEM TO FEEL IT! Because look around- who can they admire? Not a lot to choose from, huh?

fanfic: i know who i want to take me home [brooklyn nine nine, jake x amy]

i had so many feelings post-1x21 that this happened. un-betaed, conversation-heavy, playing fast and loose with punctuation, and desperately finished before it gets completely jossed by the finale.

i know who i want to take me home
in which various members of the 99 team try to help jake with his amy problem, and in which the bar is the best place for this help to occur.

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Prompt: I love your stories!! I was wondering if you could write a story of sheldon going after amy after a fight and they kiss… You can take it from there (Idk if I want them to be married)

Ahhh yes, a make up kiss. Writing fighting Shamy is harder than it looks! Though the ending was quite enjoyable :D Hope you guys like it!

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fanfic: and i'm standing still [brooklyn nine nine, jake x amy]

i actively need help. i miss these two so much,

and i’m standing still
post 1x22. something bad goes down. or, jake dies, and then the story really starts. (a companion piece to ‘and the world spins madly on’. read that one first)


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