Inspired while keeping an eye on fourteen years playing dodgeball in gym and remembering, oh yeah the senshi are these kids’ age
Senshi Playing Dodgeball
Usagi- Overzealous and frequently out, Usagi’s the kid who is practically bouncing over the line right before the whistle is blown. She loves dodgeball! She loves it so much–until she gets hit. Over and over and over again. While by no means the main target of the class, she does seem to get hit a lot. She’s not someone hard to miss and it’s just a known fact that Tsukino won’t give much of a fight as she goes down–I mean, it is Usagi; third game in and she’s on the side lines on her back thinking about lunch next period. Just smack her on the head and let her relax and do what she does best: cheer her girls on!
Ami- Don’t let her hold the scoreboard. While not unathletic in the slightest, Ami doesn’t put her all into this short of sport. It’s too aggressive for her and the odds of her winning by just catching every ball and throwing ZERO are pretty likely for her personality, but against her odds depending on who she’s against. She is pretty good at dodging but there’s only so much she’ll want to do before she’s looking for an out. What most likely happens is that Ami gets to be the referee and score holder, considering her reputation for being honest and correct. And God have mercy on your soul if she is, because Mizuno doesn’t have any. She is ruthless, taking people out for the slightest mistake, getting them banned from the game for arguing with her. LORD HELP YOU IF YOU HAVE ONE FUCKING TO OVER THAT LINE BEFORE SHE’S READY.
Rei- Takes this game way too seriously, like she does with everything. Rei knows every rule of dodgeball, watched several instructional videos the night before, and have done a hundred push ups prior to the game to prepare. She’s is READY. One of the best throwers in the class, Rei’s strength comes less from strength and more from her ability to hit her target every time. If you’re in her sights, odds are you’re gonna get hit: and Rei doesn’t play by the ‘no headshot’ rule. IF YOUR HEAD IS PART OF YOUR BODY, IT’S FAR FUCKING GAME. Trouble is that Rei gets cocky and cocky makes her sloppy and sloppy means no fancy swerve is going to save her from a ball to the neck. Depending on her far into the game, she might take hit with grace–but if she’s been playing for twenty minutes and she gets called out, oh boy, she will yell to the sky and slams the balls down on the ground while she sulks back towards the ‘loser area’ where no amount of hugging will help DON’T EVEN TRY USAGI.
Makoto- THE POWERHOUSE. THE GOD SENT POWERHOUSE. Makoto is the person you want on your team. People physically fight to get Makoto on the team. She’s a dodgeball God; a tank that can catch any ball you toss at her and slam you DOWN TO THE GROUND in the next second. You don’t see her coming and if you’re on her team, it’s just generally assumed you’re on the winning side. Prrroblem is with Makoto is, well, she’s protective. If she’s on the same side as Usagi or Ami–or anyone who is tiny and weak–she’ll always take the diving hit for them. She could be across the room and she will FLY HER ASS OVER AND GET HIT SQUARE IN THE CHEST. Because she’s a pal, you know? She’ll go down for this ship (even though she’s the best canon on that ship and NO MAKOTO NO WE NEEDED YOU). She doesn’t fight anyone if she gets hit (because, again, doing it on purpose) and usually hands out refreshments to the losers on the sidelines. Oh, Makoto…
Minako- TRICKSTER. Look, we all know who Minako is. She’s the dodger, the person who has a doesn’t balls and uses them to deflect everything. She’s the asshole doing cartwalls out of the way and trying to sneak a foot over the line so she can get a better aim. She’s fast, witty, flexible, and ready to win regardless of how the rules are stated. No rule can stop Aino Minako: she’s above the law. If she gets hit, she’ll say she hasn’t and try to act like she isn’t supposed to be out. She hides out of view from the referee in order not to get seen. If she’s caught, she has a witty reason why they are wrong: oh, I hit it with my ball before it hit my hand, oh it fell in the floor, my foot just happened to be blocking, oh, I’m not out, the school ghost took the hit–COME ON YOU KNOW THE SCHOOL GHOST–WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE. It never works but no one can say they wouldn’t want Minako on their team–she’s got one hell of arm.
Haruka- Are you sure your protected by the planet of ‘grace’ there, buddy? Haruka is the second hardest hitter and the fastest in the class (no, fuck you Minako, SHE IS). She a hurricane of balls, spinning out of the way of everything and making combo hits for shits and giggles. She’s amazing at the game in the same way she’s amazing at racing…just, ya know, she’s a bad loser. Seriously, one hit to that pretty head and she’s fuming for the rest of the game, screaming from the sidelines for someone to JUST CATCH A BALL, LET HER BACK IN, COME ON JEREMY DON’T DROP YOU FUCK!! If everyone says she’s been hit and she thinks she hasn’t, it’s a war. One time Makoto had to pick her up and haul out of the gym because she WASN’T GONNA BE MOVED, BRAD HAS BAD AIM, FUCK YOU SHE’S STILL IN.
Michiru- Depends on her mood. If Michiru doesn’t have any reason, either because of team mates or because she doesn’t fell its a challenge, she’ll just stand there and take a hit, then walk off with a shrug. Dodgeball is beneath her. Unless Haruka’s there–then Michiru a freaking tsunami and she’s coming for all ya’ll’s heads! She’s got good aim and the skills of a ballerina, she’s pretty much untouchable. Watching her dodge balls is like watching a dance recital and by the end of it you’ll be thanking her for the performance…but she’ll never be the winner. Cause, Haruka, ya know. If Haruka’s on her team, she’ll pull Makoto and take a diving hit–which will then be followed by a ten minute death scene in which Haruka cries over her and Michiru tells her she needs to go on with out her. If Haruka’s on the other team, they meet in the middle of the gym and reenacting Romeo and Juliet until someone Rei is merciful and hits them both. Just. Take Michiru for what she is, I guess.
Setsuna- Is too old for this shit and we all know it. Is probably the gym teacher who sits on the side, gives Ami all the power (GOOD GOD), and reads vogue while drinking a smoothie.
Hotaru- LITTLE DEATH BABY GIVES NO FUCKS ABOUT ANYONE. Hotaru has a lot of rage in her body and this is the only way she can get it out. She is the quietest, the deadliest, and probably the fucking one who makes the most illegal hits. Life means nothing, death is just an illusion, we’re all dust in the wind, and dodge ball rules are confining her. Hotaru gets banned from the game for the rest of the year for causing six nosebleeds in five minutes. She’s not sorry.
Chibi Usa- Literally tries to use Luna P as a dodgeball and knocks someone out. Sits with Hotaru in the ‘banned for life’ corner of shame.