american express black card

- So all the bat boys go shopping like a day before Mother’s day.

- And they go in pairs.

- Like Jason and Tim are at Macy’s going through women’s clothing, with these confused expressions.

- “Tim, dude, look at this, It’s like a dress, only it has shorts at the end! How awesome is that? “

- “I feel like that’s really convenient, you know how busy they are, just slip it on and you’re ready for the day.”

- It is literally the ugliest romper in the world, it has a yellow and black block color pattern, and ruffles on the end of the shorts.

- “But you know we should keep our options open.”

“Yeah of course, of course.”

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Rolex x Patek Philippe x Audemars Piguet x Hublot x Bentley x Lamborghini x American Express black card

Think you’re rich? You are not rich until you have a black card.

Qualifications for a American Express Centurion (Black) Card:

  • Spend AT LEAST $250K a year
  • $16.3 Million in Assets AND $1.3 Million income
  • Amazing Credit Score (honestly though, this should be a fucking given)

But with this card you get some amazing perks. But hell, if you got the money, the world is your oyster (or something…).

Oh and don’t go and try to apply for this card, it’s by invitation only.

This is coming from a guy who claims his net worth is 10 million and his salary is 1 million+ a year. His about me: “Lets start by flying somewhere on my private jet. I drink Ace of Spades. Audemars Piguet Collector. Cartier bracelets. I enjoy the goodlife. I always stay in luxury hotels and eat at the fanciest restaurants. I love driving fast Italian cars and getting to places by chopper. All my clothes are designer. I am friends with many celebrities.  My American Express Black Card concierge is my best friend. You will always find me eating at Nobu, STK, Katsuyas, Mr. Chows, Hakkasan,  Zuma, Cipriani, and Philippe Chow. If you are skeptical I dont judge, just let me prove it.”


What a fucking toolbag. If you don’t want to give allowances than get a girlfriend. Don’t try to be a sugardaddy.

anonymous prompted: Could you maybe write sugar daddy Kurt who has an amazing successful job and young innocent Blaine? Like maybe Kurt works in a very high position in Vogue and Blaine is a fresh faced just out of high school intern. Would love Kurt pampering Blaine and maybe Blaine calling Kurt daddy. Ohh and office fucking in Kurt’s office perhaps. Also available to read on AO3.

There’s a knock on the door, and Kurt mindlessly calls out “Come in!” without looking up.

“Your coffee, Mr. Hummel?”

Kurt looks up to find a boyishly sweet guy peeking his head in and holding a cardboard coffee tray. His hair is matted to his head with gel, and Kurt notices a few stray curls that have escaped the hold at the base of his neck. His face is young, eyes wide and perky and eager.

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An American Express Card is the only credit card I’ve ever owned. Now it’s the only card I’ve ever owned primarily because American Express was the only company that would issue me a card in college. I often get questions about the Black Card from people interested in American Express. The Centurion (Black Card) is an exclusive card only offered to the wealthiest of people, with the average Black Card holder having $16.3 million in assets and an annual household income of $1.3 million.

However, the first rule of having a Centurion is that you don’t talk about having a Centurion! LOL!