american bullshit

How to Flirt: Embarrassed Boy Edition

Summary: As soon as the first ever Cold Stone Creamery opens up in London, Phil knew he had to go. However, it wasn’t the ice cream that made him keep coming back, but rather the cute employee who looks dead in the eyes whenever he has to sing the tip jar songs.
Word Count: 4,405
Warnings: Food mentions, cussing
A/N: thanks so much to @greynihilism for prompting me this!!! I honestly love this SO MUCH. And of course thanks to @snowbunnylester for listening to me shout and for telling me to match our titles bc we are disgusting soulmates. I didn’t edit this but i’m too excited about it so idgaf! Hope you like it! 

Read it on AO3!

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When a new Cold Stone Creamery opened up in London, it was the biggest thing since sliced bread. Literally everyone had to try some, to get some for themselves, that way they could boast to their friends and family how they got to try it.

Phil was guilty of this. He was a slut for only two things, and those were ice cream and new shops. So when he heard a new ice cream shop was opening up? Phil pretty much shit himself. He gathered all of his friends, sat them down, and explained the situation to them. He didn’t want to say he forced them to come with him, because he didn’t. He just calmly insisted that they come with him and didn’t let them leave the room until they agreed. No biggie.

That’s how he found himself inside of Cold Stone with Kiley, Charles, and Michael. Phil was the only one who was so excited that he couldn’t stop bouncing on the balls of his feet. His friends were chattering beside him, waiting patiently for the line to go down so they could finally order, but Phil was having trouble being patient. He wanted his ice cream and he wanted it now. There were still five people in front of him and he wanted to push them all out of the way so he could order his own ice cream and press his face to the counter glass like an annoying child.

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One of the many reasons why highschool dress codes are bullshit

Once when I was in highschool I wore this short dress that did meet the dress code (finger tip length).
But being the person I am I wore booty shorts under it in order to prevent others from seeing my panties when I bent over
Apparently one of my teachers called the principle for my dress being too short so I got sent to the office
The principle made me put my hands to my side to see if the dress was finger tip length (again I have short arms so it was)
To justify myself and the length of my dress I told him I even had shorts under the dress. This shorts were, however, not finger tip length
He then tried to send me home because of my shorts. So being the stubborn person I was and am I took off the shorts right there in the office, stood up straight, and put my hands to my sides to prove the dress was the right length
He had to let me stay

So in short, I was allowed to stay in school because I was wearing less clothes when he wanted to send me home for wearing more

The American public school system folks.

So I’m awake and looking over the last 12 hours of bullshit on my Twitter timeline and I’m seeing people that are like “lol ‘alt-left’ need that on a shirt” and “can we make 'alt-left’ the new 'nasty woman’ ” and like


Can we not maybe. Like… could we possibly avoid actively doing things that in any way legitimize the garbage that comes out of that man’s mouth.

I swear we need to create a political master’s degree that is impossible to bypass to become an official in any and every elected office throughout america. 6 to 8 years of intensive schooling more so than it is to become a doctor.

Oh, that’s only offered and accredited through public state schools that depend on government funding instead of screwing the fuck out of the students.

Required courses in biology, psychology, women’s studies, wide spread inclusive cultural studies, economics, math, science oh my fuqing gawd science! Religious studies that focus on everything not just Christianity. And a hell of a lot more.

anonymous asked:

Why is everyone's argument against aces being in the LGBT+ community "aces aren't oppressed enough?" oppressed enough??? oppression isn't a competition and to the people saying "come back when you're getting murdered for your sexuality" they completely ignore the corrective rape and conversion therapy side of being asexual along with the complete erasure of asexuals and they ignore this stuff on purpose and it makes me so angry

It is infuriating. Then I remember people think “this is america go one is oppressed” and I get even more annoyed but feel less alone.

Because my dashboard is taking fancy to discussing racist sports teams, I may as well defend my pride and joy.

“Your favorite team is the Blackhawks”

Yes, yes it is.

“THAT IS SO FUCKING RACIST.”

Nah Fam. That organization is the furthest from racist. There’s a reason nobody bitches about them.

First off, what’s in a name?

The Chicago Blackhawks, formally styled as Black Hawks, weren’t named directly after Chief Black Hawk. Rather, the original owner of the franchise, Frederic McLaughlin, was a commander in the 333rd Machine Gun Battalion of the 86th Infantry during WW1, which was nicknamed the Blackhawk Battalion. This was nicknamed off the Chief for mentioned above, however, not directly. Yet, it was still styled as Black Hawk, until documentation showed that the Battalion spelling of the nickname was one word.

“It’s still racist. Look at the logo!”

Okay. Let’s look at the logo. Actually, why not an evolution of the logo? The wife of the owner, Irene, drew out the logo in black and white, in 1927, styling how the Saux tribe chiefs, where Chief Black Hawk was from, would have it. No exaggerated features, nothing mocking. Just a strong drawing. Now, 1936-1937, was absolutely racist. However, as seen, that logo lasted a year at most, and even for the time, where that kind of depiction was seen as okay, it was still removed, out of respect for the tribe and the namesake.

So, in the next generation of logo, we start seeing a more modern feel of the logo we know and love. The skin was given a more realistic color, as well as the hair and feather stylization. From there, extra additions were removed, the style was cleaned up a bit, bolded, and by 1965, the logo we are quite familiar with, was born.

No red skin, no goofy face, nothing obnoxious. Just a respectable and serious logo.

“BUT RACIST. APPROPRIATING CULTURE.”

At many sports games, when there is a Native American named team, you often hear drums beating, a warrior cry, perhaps a native mascot dancing around with a tomahawk, maybe fighting against the other mascot.

Go to a Hawks game. We play Chelsea Dagger. We have our signature air horn. Our players even have signature goal songs. There is nothing remotely taken from any Native American culture in our games.

“BUH THE LOGO-”

-is treated with the utmost respect. On the floor of the locker room, our lovely logo lays on the floor. If you step on it, you pay a fine of $10,000, donated directly to Native American charities. Try us. Not even Bieber was immune to this. Speaking of charities, the Wirtz family, the current owners of the franchise, is the largest donor to the American Indian Center of Chicago, which helps those of native and aboriginal decent in the state. That’s just one charity. Plus, as a bonus, for every game in the regular season and every round of the playoffs, there will always be a native veteran in watching, often standing for the national anthem on ice. It is because of everything mentioned above, the Blackhawks have nothing but respect in the eyes of those who grant them the moniker.

So, now that this was taken care of, when one of you guys inevitably tries to hop on a bandwagon to shit on the Chicago Blackhawks, you cannot claim ignorance in claiming that you don’t know the history of this logo and team. Take down teams that regularly diminish culture and history. Leave this team out of it.

why the fuck are people always acting like black civil rights issues are a hot new trend that just popped up two years ago and are getting more attention then they deserve

like, martin luther king jr was assassinated for being a radical in 1968

do you think black activists took a half century off between selma and ferguson, birmingham and flint

come on

The same people who want to villainize protesters and are ok with ramming into them with their cars are the same sort of people who would have been against protests in the 60s, and even if you go back as far as the Boston Tea Party. They would have been against the very catalysts that created this country in the first place and then want to claim that they’re a proud American. I call bullshit on that. The protesters who have fought for our civil liberties over the years, even those who are doing so today are far more American than those people ever will be. They value order and complacency over liberty and justice. 

Fareed Zakaria going on television after the recent white supremacist violence and shaming students for not tolerating the right wing in the United States is fucking gross. Apparently, he first delivered this rant to uni students at a commencement speech. Classic old man bullshit.

“American universities these days seem to be committed to every kind of diversity — except intellectual diversity. Conservative voices and views, already a besieged minority, are being silenced entirely.”

Zakaria added that “an attitude of self-righteousness” was leading to “the ideas we find offensive” being drowned out.

“It’s an attitude of self-righteousness that says we are so pure, we’re so morally superior, we cannot bear to hear an idea with which we disagree,” he said.

“Freedom of speech and thought is not just for warm, fuzzy ideas that we find comfortable. It’s for ideas that we find offensive,” Zakaria later added. “Liberals think they are tolerant, but often they aren’t.”

Zakaria implies that the violence and even the recent murders is something we should bear and that liberal tolerance is more important than our neighbors’ safety. 

Self-righteousness in anti-racist, anti-fascist, and anti-capitalist class struggle is a good thing. Remember when activists in the civil rights movement of the fifties and sixties were told to patiently bear segregation until the government got around to outlawing it? it was a common complaint; it is always *the* central gripe about radicalism. it’s unruly, impolite, uncivil, and so on.

How rich must this asshole be that he believes white nationalism is merely an annoying idea delivered in a speech by somebody we don’t like?

i just tried PEANUTBUTTER AND JAM TOGETHER AND WHAT THE FUCK IT TASTES SO GOOD HOLY SHIT HOW???? WHY I DIDNT KNOW THAT SOONER IM 24 FOR GODS SAKE ITS 24 YEARS WASTED EATING THIS SHIT SEPARATELY I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS ANOTHER AMERICAN BULLSHIT THING BUT NO !!! ITS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD!!!!!! YOU MIGHT HAVE TRUMP BUT YOU’VE DONE THIS PB&J SHIT GOOD AMERICANS CONGRATS IM IMPRESSED