Godfather Tony x Child Reader Steve Rogers x Child Reader Clint Barton x Child Reader
Summary: Bruce and his wife finally go out for a well deserved date, leaving Tony, Steve and Clint to care for their baby.
I’m not gonna lie guys, I just rewatched Ice Age and I wanted to recreate the scene.
“Make it stop! I can’t take this anymore!” Tony cried out as the small baby in Steve’s arms wailed.
Steve was gently trying to rock the young boy back and fourth in an attempt to sooth him while Clint stood back at what he considered a safe distance from the child.
“This is you’re fault Tony, you’re the one who volunteered us to take care of him, so stop complaining!” Steve said sharply but also at a hushed tone.
Tony groaned and bent down to level his face with the child’s. “I will pay you 100 dollars to stop crying.” He waved a crisp 100 dollar bill in the baby’s face.
“Tony! You can’t bribe a baby!” Clint frowned as he snatched the bill off Tony. “Not with money anyway.” He muttered and tucked the 100 dollar note into his own pocket.
“Uhh guys, we have a situation.” Steve piped up causing the two to pause their argument and turn their attention to him. The baby was beginning to flash, patches of his skin altering from pink to green.
They all gazed at eachother nervously.
“Okay okay okay, I have an idea! It’s okay Uncle Tony the worlds most handsome godfather is on the case!” Tony announced proudly and with a snap of his fingers his helmet flew onto his head. He plucked the small boy out of Steve’s arms and held him up.
“Wheeere’s the baby?” Tony attempted to coo, helmet down and eyes glowing at the boy.
“There he is!” The helmet popped open to reveal Tony’s face. Clint and Steve exchanged glances as the baby had in fact temporarily stopped crying and stared at Tony.
The helmet went back down. “Wheeeere’s the baby?”
It popped back up. “There he is!”
Tony made a face when the child wailed even louder then before, making the signal for his helmet to fly away. “Not the reaction I anticipated…”
“You’re scaring him!” Clint exclaimed as he slapped the upside of Tony’s head.
The three men froze when they heard a small giggle.
“Hey do that a again! He likes it!” Steve announced quickly as Clint slapped Tony again causing the baby to erupt in more giggles.
“It’s making me feel better too!” Clint smirked.
Tony cringed and moved away from Clint’s assault, shoving the baby in front of Steve.
“Here you hold him.”
Just as the baby begin to whine again Steve quickly whacked Tony, halting the cry and bringing fourth more giggles.
Tiny pudgy hands reached forward and feebly slapped at Tony’s cheek so he gently grabbed the baby’s hand and held it.
“Not funny guys, and you!” He directed his attention to the baby. “You keep that up and SOMEONE won’t be getting a car for his 18th birthday.”
Steve carefully took the baby from Tony’s arms again, rocking him slightly back and fourth.
“When does Bruce get back?” Steve dared to ask.
“Another 3 hours…” Tony groaned, placing his forehead in his palm, ignoring the glares he was receiving.
Things I really loved about Spiderman: Homecoming in earnest!
1. That it felt new)
Look, it needs to be said first off that Homecoming had the added pressure of not just being a good movie, but being a new and different take on the THIRD reboot of a character in 15 years. That’s a really hard thing to do, and they nailed it. Holland’s Spiderman is distinct and his own while also feeling like the character, and the world he inhabits and the story the movie tells feels Spidery without feeling like we’ve seen it in the last two reboots.
2. World building)
The Marvel universe - when it’s not featuring in its massive collab films - always needs to find a way to feel connected, and not only did Homecoming succeed at this, it also found a great way to build on the Marvel world. The Captain America PSA’s were funny, but they also really helped shaped the idea that this is a world that has had superheroes for more than half of these kids lives. Same with Keaton’s daughter’s picture at the beginning, or the game of Fuck, Marry, Kill that the girls play with The Avengers; this is a world with superheroes that feels lived in and that was great.
Speaking of world building, I loved everything about Keaton’s Vulture. Marvel villains - beyond Loki - have always been just a little bit meh, but Vulture was perfect for the story they were telling. His whole story was a fantastic “view from the bottom” look at the Marvel Universe. A regular guy (in a tough economy) who is just trying to provide for the best life for his family, and is doing so by profiting off the “scraps” of what the Avengers leave behind. I LOVED that Vulture didn’t try to take over the world, or that it wasn’t really personal for him. Yeah, he loses a job because of Tony and didn’t like him, but he was just stealing from him because he had the stuff he could steal, and not say, building a villainous and overly complicated revenge scheme because he got stood up at a party once (side eyes Iron Man 3 just a little bit).
4. Vulture and Spidey’s dynamic)
Damn, that was a reveal done right. I’ve never jumped once at a Marvel movie, and Homecoming had me do it when Liz’s mother comes into the frame behind Peter. It’s a totally innocent moment, not even really a jump scare, and that is a true testament to the tension in that scene. Also, the fact that Vulture clearly respected Peter was great; he thanks Peter for saving his daughter, doesn’t sell Peter out in jail. I kind of felt like part of the reason Peter doesn’t take Tony’s offer was because some part of Vulture’s “little guys” speech had sunk into him, and that’s a really great dynamic between hero and villain.
5. Continuity Easter eggs)
The comic heavy hints are great (like say, Donald Glover’s character as Miles Morales uncle), but I’m a sucker for in universe Easter eggs, and Homecoming delivered. Things like principle Morita having a picture of the Howling Commando he played in Captain America; The First Avenger were fantastic little nods that you didn’t have to have any comic book knowledge about but still were really rewarding.
I love Ned. I loved that he was quirky and uncool and totally cool with that. I even love that he was out of shape; it’s always great to see positive portrayals of people not just of different races but of different body types, and I love that he was never bullied or made fun of for his weight. Also, I just really loved that Peter had a friend (that wasn’t Harry Osborn). I genuinely can’t remember if the past 2 Peter Parker’s actually had a friend that wasn’t Harry (and thus weighted by the knowledge he was going to end up a villain) and it was so nice to just have Peter seem like a real kid who has friends and hobbies.
7. That Peter felt like a kid)
Homecoming nailed this in a way that the last two series never really did. Admittedly, the fact that Holland is much closer to the age of the character he’s playing than the two previous helped, but the movie did a great job of it in other ways. That he’s never driven, that he’s susceptible to peer pressure and just wants to be well liked; Peter felt like a real teen who had this situation thrust upon him and that was fantastic.
8. In media res)
You cannot know how thrilled I am that Homecoming skipped the whole death of Uncle Ben and spider bite thing. The death of Uncle Ben especially; yes, it’s important to shaping the hero and the man Peter becomes, but it’s also been done twice in recent memory, and leaving it out took guts (and not even a dream sequence like say, the recent reboot of some other dead superhero parents). Instead Homecoming treats the audience like they’re smart and just alludes to it, and the spider bite, and I’m so for it. Homecoming feels like we still get to see an origin arc without all the trappings of the origin we already know, and it works 100%.
9. MJ’s new character)
Look, there’s a bit of a pin in this one, which I’ll explain at the end, but I really liked this new adaption of MJ; the little we got to see of her at least. No, she wasn’t the same character as in the comics or the Rami films, but again, I really admire the fact that they were risky enough to try new things. Also, her little arc; “I have no friends,” to “my friends are up there,” to “my friends call me MJ” was this neat transition from loner girl to decathlon captain with friends and I found it really sweet.
10. The web in the suburbs)
HAHAHA OMG this was my biggest laugh in the movie. I’ve literally joked with my sister that Spider-Man is a hero who really only works in New York (one of the most vertical cities in the world) and having that scene play out was just perfection.
11. WHAT THE FU-)
Second biggest laugh by far, but I am SO down with Aunt May knowing about Spider-Man. The “hiding my secret identity from my loved ones” is a cliche that’s worn pretty thin, and I am here for the next movie where May knows.
I don’t care what you think of Paltrow; I love Pepper Potts, and I love her relationship with Tony. I don’t even mean that on a shipper level; Tony and Pepper really have always felt to me like the best balanced, healthiest and most real MCU couple, and the fact that they were on the outs in Civil War (because of what was likely the cost of having the actress be there) sucks. Homecoming fixed that, and it did it in such a characteristic way; Tony asking for the ring as a media diversion, Happy having it for 9 years, Pepper just rolling her eyes at their antics and Tony catching the ring anyways (hinting at it being semi serious) was just this perfect 2 minute look at their dynamic.
13. Tony and Peter)
I loved that that mentoring relationship felt very true to both their characters. That at the start Tony wanted to be a mentor but didn’t really know how to and that Peter just wanted his approval and how, by the end Peter had grown into someone that deserved Tony’s respect, and that Tony had become a better mentor by being able to let him walk away and acknowledge that not joining the team was best for him. Also; “I wanted you to be better than me,” and “if you’re nothing without the suit than you shouldn’t have it,” are just great lines. A+.
14. “Come on Spiderman” and the building on top of him)
Like, that whole scene, just, perfection. Tom Holland owned that scene, and it was both agonizing to watch his pain and his desperation, and utterly uplifting to see him triumph. A+++
Thing I wasn’t so crazy about:
1 . The MJ reveal)
Look, I said there would be a pin in that and here it is. If the Vulture reveal was the perfect example of how to do a twist reveal right, this was a pretty textbook example of “a twist just for the sake of a twist.” A good twist or reveal should change the mood, the dynamics and the stakes. Finding out that the villain was the father of the girl Peter had spent the whole movie evolving his relationship did all of those things. Finding out that Zendaya’s character- who is literally called Michelle once, right before she announces herself as MJ - does none of that. Her being MJ rather than Michelle doesn’t change her arc or her impact on the movie at all, especially given how little of her we see in the movie. I honestly think it would have been much better if she’d been MJ from the beginning. Having this new iteration of MJ - who is really different from previous ones - would have given the audience time to acclimatize to her take on the character. Instead, it’s played as a reveal with utterly no stakes, and I think that’s an unfortunate sign that perhaps they didn’t believe enough in their version of the character to stand up on her own merit, which is pretty disappointing.
“If the Mad Titan has the power of the Time and/or Soul Gem, the villain could mess with reality and bring back loved ones of the Avengers only to kill them.”
Oh. My. Chuck. NO. THIS IS HORRIFYING. Because you know what, I wouldn’t be surprised if he somehow knew how to make their second deaths absolute hell for their loved ones. And he may also have the Mind Stone, which could create extra hell.
-He brings back Peggy. Steve is terrified but also ecstatic, so he drops everything and runs to her. But before he get there, the second Peggy sees him running towards her, she gets stabbed through the back and Steve just crumples.
-He brings back Pietro, but before Wanda can even move towards him, Clint (and Vision if he’s somehow still fighting at this point) is suddenly attacking him with deadly force and Wanda has to fight her father figure to protect her twin.
-He brings back Tony’s parents, only to have Bucky murder them again with his bare hands. The fragile truce they had formed shatters in a split second as Tony aims every weapon he’s got at Bucky.
-But before Tony can fire, Thanos brings back Uncle Ben, only to make Tony attack him. Peter desperately tries to protect his uncle while not hurting his new dad - and it doesn’t work.
-He brings back Yondu, only to make Gamora attack him. The Guardians are torn, split between the ones trying to get Yondu away and the ones trying to fight Gamora.
THIS IDEA IS ABSOLUTELY FUDGING TERRIFYING BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS DEAD LOVED ONES.
A few minutes of silence passed as Steve lifted the ship in the air. Bucky kept casually glancing at Outburst. He wanted to start a conversation but found it difficult to form words in his mouth. He feared coming off as creepy to the kid. Outburst would look at Bucky every time he glanced and just smiled. After a few more moments passed Bucky finally leaned in. You watched from afar and tried to figure out what was happening. You saw as Bucky and Outburst smiled while they talked. You wondered if Bucky had figured out what you were thinking. You slowly smiled to yourself. You never thought about Bucky being a dad but now that you saw him and Outburst you couldn’t see him not being a dad. You imagined Bucky holding Outburst as a child in his arms while standing in front of the kitchen stove as he explained how to make pancakes. You imagined him teaching her how to fight. You smiled to yourself. You thought about how naturally protective and nurturing Bucky was and realized that Bucky was a natural at being a father.
“Alright guys, you are free to move around if you want to,” Steve announced.