america's got talent

Story time: okay so this just happened like 5 min ago. So I’m watching Americas got Talent with my mom and bro and this one girl was singing thinking out loud and I sang along with her but I was singing ugly on purpose and my mom is like “you should go in Americas got talent” and my brother started laughing and he’s like “what is she even gonna do?! Fart? She’s good at that” and my mom is like “no she’s gonna sweep all the confetti after one of the judges presses the golden buzzer” 😂😂

youtube

This brought me to tears… she’s such an inspiration and so talented!

And Simon, good on ya dude! <3

The human experience is a nuanced and multifaceted thing. At times, we can be compassionate, contrary, spiteful, loving, introspective, thoughtful, confounding, and inspiring. But fuck all that when we’re on TV. If we want to delve into someone, let’s ignore their soul and instead learn how their dog has AIDSabetes and needs poop transfusions that can only be secured via winning Chopped. Cue the tears. Yes, salt is necessary for any good dish. Mmm, your anguish is delicious and ratings-invoking. Tell us about the time you skinned your knee in kindergarten, then make a ceviche!

If you don’t watch cooking shows, you may be entirely unaware that they’re 50 percent cooking and 50 percent human tragedy. Everyone has a story on cooking shows. Everyone’s mom had a leg eaten by a Yeti, or their house was stolen by squatters, or they woke up one day with their face on backwards. You’d think that becoming a cook could only be born from some manner of low-level calamity. Taquitos were invented by a man who was actively in the process of being set on fire by his own estranged father. Oatmeal was actually invented by a Scotsman while he was inside a bear. Food is life is pain.

Taking criticism with a nod and a degree of self-reflection is for shit that happens in Margaret Atwood novels. We demand emotional breakdowns and half-assed tantrums! If I have to endure watching someone cook eggplant, it better end with them tearing the hair from their scalp and running full bore into traffic while screaming or else what’s the point? This same approach is reflected ten fold on America’s Got Talent where it seems like your best chance for impressing Howie Mandel is to show up with one hand holding in your exposed entrails after being gored by a bull.

5 Silly Rules Of Reality Shows We Swear A Child Created

youtube

GUESS WHO’S GONNA BE ON AMERICA’S GOT TALENT. THE BEST VIRAL WONDER TO COME OUT OF OMAHA, NE THAT’S WHO.

youtube

Guys! You seriously need to check this out! Her name is Mandy Harvey and she is amazing. She is a deaf singer and songwriter, and has an amazing voice.

youtube

I don’t watch America’s Got Talent or any other cable ‘talent ’ shows, but I did for the first time last night to support my fellow clown: Puddles Pity Party.

I’ve been following this sad clown for years and he’s one of the most talented singers I have ever heard. If the Nightmare Before Christmas ever makes it to Broadway, he needs to play Jack Skellington in my opinion 🤡

Check out his other covers such has Lorde’s “Royals” he did with Post Modern Jukebox on YouaTube when you’re done watching this!