I wrote this a while ago, during Easter time. I was revising for my exams, and I decided to make a ~ fun revision tool ~ by writing a fanfiction of Arthur and Alfred studying for their exams. I was supposed to make more for my other sciences, but I got lazy. I thought I’d upload this here in honour of me getting my results in about four hours.
Warning: There are Chemistry facts (those are in bold in case you want them for E X A M K N O W L E D G E), Chemistry jokes, sex jokes, and Chemistry sex jokes. Yes you read that right.
“Jeez, that’s the fifth time you’ve moaned my name in three minutes. If I couldn’t see your hands I’d have thought you were jacking off.”
“… Jacking off isn’t actually a bad idea. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to masturbate. Don’t mind me.”
“Wait, Artie, what’re you- Artie get your hands out from there and put them up!”
Sighing reluctantly, Arthur lifted his hands up into the air, but promptly dropped them in favour of flopping down onto the table in front of him- a table laden with textbooks, revision folders, highlighters, discarded chocolate wrappers, and cans of various fizzy drinks. He was at Alfred’s (who he was happy to say was his boyfriend) house for the entirety of the Easter holidays, as the two of them knew that they revised better when together. They were in Year Eleven, which meant that their GCSEs (A.K.A. their most important exams to date), were just over a month away. So no, Arthur was not at Alfred’s house to have fun, as you might have thought. Sure, they had played games and such, but most of their time was spent with their heads buried in soul-sucking textbooks that would be their salvation.
Today, however, Arthur was just not feeling it. By that he meant less than usual. Well, he never felt it, but he never felt it less… It made sense in his head.
“Relax, Alfred. I’d rather have sex with you than wank in front of you… Much more exciting, don’t you think?” Arthur said, smirking salaciously up at Alfred from his slumped position on the table as Alfred rolled his blue eyes that Arthur had come to adore.
“I’d rather our first time be somewhere more romantic than bent over a table and fucked over empirical formulas and Fleming’s Left Hand Rule,” Alfred replied, grinning in spite of himself, a twinkle of mirth in his eyes. Arthur could see the humour of the situation; he was normally the one telling Alfred to get back to work, not this way round.
“I don’t know, being bent over the table and roughly pounded into from behind by your large cock would certainly be a pleasant-“
“Are you always this freakin’ dirty when you’re hella bored, or what?” Alfred remarked, laughing. “Besides, you haven’t even seen my dick.”
“That can be easily remedied,” Arthur purred, licking his lips and wiggling his thick eyebrows suggestively, making the both of them burst into peals of unadulterated laughter.
“Okay,” Alfred finally said, wiping away a tear and readjusting his silver-framed glasses, “as much as I’d love to re-enact your favourite porn book, I think revising for exams is more important. Then we can go have sex anywhere and everywhere.”
“Even the mattress store?”
“Even the mattress store.”
“What about in a play gym?”
“Sure, after the kids have all gone.”
“…We can totally do it in Fortnum and Mason’s, right?”
okay but this official art really fucking confuses me cause????what the hell is germany leaning on???he sure as hell isn’t leaning on italy i hope cause in that position he’s going to break feli’s fucking neck. also why the fuck is china tilting??? why is the world always tilted in old official art??? how the fuck is england standing with his legs like that??? what the fuck happened to russia’s hair why is parted like that?? wHY IS GERMANY’S OTHER ARM SO FUCKING SHORT OH MY GOD EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THIS FUCKING PICTURE IT GETS WORSE