amelias choice


An invisible red string of fate, tied around their pinky fingers, connects two people who are destined to be together from the moment they are born. The string can be stretch and tangled but can never be broken. Soulmates. 

8.10: Seriously, Dean? That’s the story you’re going with? That the vampire was the real victim here?

Ouch. Because yeah, Sam. He was.

SAM: You needed me to what? To tear ass to Texas? To be afraid that what happened to Jessica, what happened to… everybody that we care about might have happened to her?
DEAN: You were gonna kill Benny. What was I supposed to do?
SAM: Is that what we are? You save a vampire by making me believe that the woman I love might be dead?
DEAN: What do you want to hear, Sam? That I was wrong? Fine. I was wrong. Okay? But if you’d have just heard me out, if you’d have trusted me, all of this could have been avoided.
SAM: You didn’t want me to trust you. You wanted me to trust Benny, and I can’t do that.

Sam demands that Dean be “done” with Benny. Apparently Dean’s not allowed to have friends that Sam doesn’t approve of. But at least Amelia gives Sam a choice about whether or not to stay with her. Sam’s issued Dean the same sort of ultimatum to Dean regarding Benny. In the worst display of Winchester codependency, they both cut ties with their outside friends.

AMELIA: I’m telling you that if you stay, against everything I believe in, I would be with you. But if you leave… don’t come back. I can’t have you with one foot in my life and one foot out there doing… whatever it is you do. That life of yours I have no idea about.
SAM: You don’t want to know about it. Believe me. It’s a big step.

But Sam, if you honestly ever had a shot at staying with her AT ALL, after she’s showed you all her cards, you still haven’t been willing to make that “big step” with her, and tell her about who you really are. And she hurt you with that ultimatum, so you turned right around and made the same sort of demand on Dean. None of it was fair to any of you, but such is the sort of thing that happens when you base your personal relationships on lies…

So Dean and Sam are split up, and Cas comes to ask Dean for help finding where Crowley has captured and is torturing Samandriel.

Poor Dean had just gotten up the nerve to ask Cas to hang out at a bar when they find Crowley’s demons. Cas wanted to bring Sam in to help fight the demons, but Dean brings him to Kevin instead to have him assemble some of his demon bombs. Cas flaps off to assemble what they need, and returns with all of that PLUS Sam.

Meanwhile Benny calls and asks to meet with Dean, because he’s having a difficult time adjusting, but Dean has to delay him because of the case. Dean’s also confused about why Kevin would send his mom away:

DEAN: Yeah, but your mom’s your mom.
KEVIN: I can’t enjoy a world I need to save, Dean. I can enjoy it when this is all over with. For right now… there’s nothing more important than this.

But thank goodness for Cas showing up to talk some sense into Dean and Sam:

DEAN: I told you we didn’t need him.
CASTIEL: We need everything, Dean. And I need both of you, as you say, to stow your crap. Can you do that?

Cas was working on a VERY SIMILAR mindset to where he is now in s12:

DEAN: Okay, so, what? We go in, take care of the hell mooks, and you extract the angel?
CASTIEL: Yes. After killing so many, I need to save at least this one.

Like in 12.19, telling Dean that he just needs to bring home one win for Dean, for himself. He’s been working a long time toward that end, and now he’s so desperate for that win, but he’s also desperate for it in a far more specific context– in protecting Dean from even needing to play a part in that “win.” Because in this case, a win is also a very big loss. Murdering an innocent, the killing of the nephilim, that’s not something Cas wants Dean to have to tarnish himself with.

Meanwhile back at the warehouse, Cas hears Alfie’s screams while Crowley is torturing him, and he experiences traumatic flashbacks to the same kind of torture that he experienced under Naomi’s care. We finally get to see the degree to which Naomi has hurt Cas, reprogramming him, controlling him.

And then we see the absolute worst: (Aside from Dean killing the demon who could’ve told them about the Angel Tablet and Alfie trying to tell Cas about Naomi and all the other secrets that Crowley’s probing revealed to him)

Naomi forces Cas to kill Samandriel, and he’s powerless to resist. Whatever she did to force his hand causes such conflict within Cas that his eye bleeds. And Dean’s earlier suspicions of what might be affecting Cas, whatever saved him from Purgatory, is somehow still hurting him.

The robotic puppet that talks to Sam and Dean neither looks nor sounds like Cas, because it isn’t. What IS Cas is the heartbroken version sitting in Naomi’s office while his vessel is being controlled into doing terrible things on behalf of Naomi… He only wanted to atone for the terrible things he’d done, and now he’s being used AGAIN. Somehow the punishment doesn’t look all that different from his original crime.

Back at the cabin, Sam and Dean feel the need to ward the place so Cas can’t see or hear them, because they BOTH can see plainly that he’s not himself. They just have no idea who’s messing with him, or why. But they each have to make a decision about cutting ties with the other people in their lives:

DEAN: Well, I do know this – whatever you decide, decide. Both feet in or both feet out. Anything in between is what gets you dead.
SAM: Yeah, I keep hearing that. I’m gonna… take a walk. Clear my head.

And all of a sudden their entire world’s shrunk back down to just the two of them, and I honestly want to scream. Thank HECK they run into Charlie on their very next case…

anonymous asked:

Its really disheartening to think that even if by some miracle we get some form of destiel in canon the writers are most likely going to end the show with dean and Sam dying, most likely cas as well so it's going to be really tragic either way :(

Hey there, Nonnie! Do you really think that the show will most likely end with Dean and/or Sam and/or Cas dying? I thought that was a Kripke move, but I don’t think that’s a Carver one. I really believe that the show has foreshadowed a better/happier ending, and for the sake of my own well-being, I’d rather continue believing that! (I hope I’m not mistaken).


I believe the Samelia thing in season 8 wasn’t as purposeless as we might think. After Jess (and Sarah and Madison), Sam kind of got the idea that love and a normal life weren’t really for him. I wouldn’t blame him for thinking that way considering every girl he likes ends up dead. However, in season 8, we got a Sam who actually had a “normal” life. A girlfriend. A picnic for his birthday. A birthday cake. A DOG. He was able to quit the family business. Unfortunately, he wasn’t in the best moment of his life because he was just running away from the painful reality (of having lost Dean). However, as he told Dean in 8x01: “I found something. Something I’ve… never had all my life.”

Sam left Amelia not because Dean was back but because her husband was back. The second time they parted ways (in 8x10) was because Amelia gave him a choice: “If you stay, against everything I believe in, I would be with you. But if you leave… don’t come back. I can’t have you with one foot in my life and one foot out there doing… whatever it is you do. That life of yours I have no idea about.” The second time he left her, it wasn’t because of her husband (he knew Amelia would choose HIM); it was because of Dean. He knew he had to choose between Amelia (the normal life he so much craves) and Dean (the life as a hunter). In 10x18, Sam told Charlie this: “I guess I really understand now that this is my life. I love it, but I can’t do it without my brother.”  We already know that between Amelia and Dean, Sam chose his brother, but that doesn’t mean Sam has stopped craving a normal life; he has just buried it for now. The fact that he says “I understand now that this is my life” sounds like someone who has resigned themselves, someone who’s simply gotten used to it in order not to disappoint Dean. According to Sam himself in 8x23, his greatest sin was how many times he let his brother down. He said he couldn’t do that again, so he became Dean. How? Dean got used to the life as a hunter because he didn’t want to disappoint his father. Sam finally got used to that life because he didn’t want to continue disappointing his brother. And so it goes the codependency cycle!

I firmly believe that Sam’s endgame is to have a normal life. That’s why we haven’t heard anything else about his desires in season 9 or 10. We already know what he wants, but we also know that he can’t get there. Not yet, at least.


Dean’s case has been more difficult. For a very long time I thought that his endgame would be to continue being a hunter forever. That’s why season 10 and Dean’s personal arc was so important. It was in that season when we finally learned that Dean’s deepest desire is NOT to be a hunter. We saw a little bit of that in 9x07 when young Dean had a conversation with young Robin:

DEAN: […] My dad likes to move around a lot.

ROBIN: What’s your dad do?

DEAN: Boring stuff.

ROBIN: Do you like it?

DEAN: (shakes his head) NO. No, not really. But my dad expects me to follow in his footsteps. So I’ve kind of gotten used to it. (He seems resigned). […] I want to be a rock star, but… I also really like cars.

ROBIN: Being a mechanic seems rough.

DEAN: What? No, no. Not at all. Cars are freaking cool as hell. Fixing them is like … a puzzle, and the best part is when you’re done, they leave, and you’re not responsible for them anymore.

Over there we learned that deep in his heart, he didn’t want to be a hunter but got used to it. We also learned that he resented having to be responsible for Sam, but he got so used to it that he couldn’t really live his life without having to worry about and protect his little brother. Demon!Dean brought this up in 10x03 when he told Sam: “You notice I tried to get as far away from you as possible? Away from your whining, your complaining. I chose the King of Hell over you! Maybe I was just … tired of babysitting you. Or always having to yank your lame ass out of the fire since… Forever. Or maybe… Maybe it was the fact that my mother would still be alive if it wasn’t for you. That your very existence sucked the life out of my life!

Dean continued being a hunter to follow his daddy’s footsteps. He became Sam’s “father figure” because John always told him he had to protect Sammy. That was his job. He didn’t matter out of that responsibility. But Dean already knows all of that is his father’s fault. That’s what we learned from the rest of the conversation between Sam and Dean in 10x03:

SAM: This isn’t my brother talking.

DEAN: You never had a brother! Just an excuse for not manning up. But guess what: I quit.

SAM: No. No, you don’t. You don’t get to quit. We don’t get to quit in this family! This family is all we have ever had!

DEAN: Well, then, we got nothing.

SAM: Would you say that to Dad?

DEAN: Dad? Oh, there’s a prize. There’s a man who brainwashed us into wasting our lives fighting his losing battle!

Dean is finally aware that he’s never been Sam’s brother. He’s been his caretaker thanks to John Winchester. That’s why the song A single man tear (which is about Dean) in 10x05 says: “A single man tear, that’s all I’ll spare. I bury feelings, don’t show I care. Even though I am haunted, must be the man daddy wanted. Wish I could be as strong as Sam. Blaze my own trail, be my own man. But underneath this broken mask, it is my father, with all his wrath.”

Dean’s arc in the Carver era has been to clearly show us that Dean KNOWS he doesn’t like his life as a hunter. That was John’s influence. He KNOWS he doesn’t want to be Sam’s protector. That was John’s influence, too. He wishes he could be as strong as Sam because SAM LEFT. Sam went to Stanford. He quit the life. He didn’t care about disappointing John. Dean pulled Sam back in for a long while, but Sam was strong a second time. He quit the life after Dean got sent to Purgatory. He stopped looking for Dean. It hurt like hell; he said he felt like his “world imploded and came raining down on [him]” (8x06), but he was strong enough to realize that he could have a life that didn’t entirely depend on Dean or John or anyone else.

Dean finally LEARNED that protecting Sam and Sam protecting him above everything else was NOT GOOD. It was evil. That codependency they have ruins them and the people around them. He doesn’t want to be his brother’s keeper anymore, but he doesn’t want Sam to be his keeper either. That’s what we learned from his conversation with Sam in 10x23:

DEAN: Remember when we were in that church, making Crowley human, about to close the Gates of Hell? Well, you sure as hell were ready to die for the greater good then.

SAM: Yeah, and, Dean, you pulled me back.

DEAN: And I was wrong. You were right, Sam. You knew that this world would be better without us in it.

SAM: No, no, no, wait a second. You’re twisting my words here, Dean.

DEAN: Why? Because we – we track evil and kill it? The family business? Is that it? Look at the tape, Sam. Evil tracks us. And it nukes everything in our vicinity – our family, our friends. It’s time we put a proper name to what we really are and we deal with it.

SAM: Wait a second. We are not evil. Listen… We’re far from perfect, but we are good. That thing on your arm is evil, but not you, not me.

DEAN: I let Rudy die. How was that not evil? I know what I am, Sam. But who were you when you – when you drove that man to sell his soul… Or when you bullied Charlie into getting herself killed? And to what end? A-a good end? A just end? To remove the Mark no matter what the consequences? Sam, how is that not evil? I have this thing on my arm, and you’re willing to let the Darkness into the world.

Dean was ready to kill Sam to stop all this, to stop their codependency, but then Sammy gave Dean two pictures. He told Dean: “You’ll never, ever hear me say that you – the real you – is anything but good. But you’re right. Before you hurt… anyone else, you have to be stopped at any cost. I understand. Do it. Do me the honor.”

Once again Sam was stronger than Dean. He understood the point. He understood they couldn’t continue like this (sacrificing others to save each other), so he was willing to sacrifice his own life if that was needed. Dean realized that Sam understood. The fact that Sam stopped fighting meant that he was ready to let go, SOMETHING THAT DEAN HASN’T BEEN ABLE TO DO ALL HIS LIFE. Then he saw the pictures. Dean and Mary. Dean, Sammy and Mary. Family.

But John Winchester was NOT in the picture because his influence was OVER. Dean didn’t kill Sam, that’s true. But it was not in the name of codependency (he didn’t know Cas, Rowena and Crowley were about to rid him of the Mark of Cain). It was in the name of family, in the name of love, a healthy one… represented by Mary in the pictures.  That’s why I think that season 11 will give us a better relationship between Dean and Sam, one where they are brothers, not each other’s keepers.

All of this was necessary to be able to reach not only Sam’s endgame but also Dean’s, which by the way, we were given in 10x16:

Dean (to Sister Mathias): I guess I’m just wondering how somebody quits one life for something completely different and – and then believe in it so much.

Dean (to Father Delaney): You know, the life I live, the work I do… I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it. […] Now, um… Recent… events, uh… make me think I might be closer to [death] than I really thought. And… I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s… people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time. […] I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought.

In my opinion, Dean’s endgame will be to quit the life for something completely different where he’ll be able to experience things, people, and feelings differently than he has before or maybe even for the first time. It’s been a lot of work to take Dean in that direction. Dean, the best hunter ever, the one who always seemed to love the life, the family business. That’s why the Carver era was heavy in personal arcs and not in myth arcs. They had to reset Dean almost completely. This is our promise. Dean needs to survive to get his endgame. Just as Sam needs to be alive to get his. 


Cas’ endgame is still a work in progress, but a very clear one. He had to be reset the same as Dean. Cas loved Heaven and his brothers and sisters. Despite everything, he thought Heaven was home. It isn’t like that anymore. Cas has slowly begun to learn that home is where the heart is. Where is Cas’ home? What does he want? He’s been asked twice now about his endgame. In 9x06, when Cas said he wanted to live, Ephraim asked him: “But as what, Castiel? As an angel? or a man?” Even though it couldn’t be clearer than that, Metatron became more obvious in 10x18 when he asked Cas:

“Who are you now? Like, you’re obviously not an angel of the lord. And what about all of this ‘walking the earth like Kane from Kung Fu’ crap? Cleaning up heaven’s messes. How many more rogue angels are there out there? And what are you gonna do once you’re done with all that? Go back to heaven? Please. The angel formerly known as Hannah has restored order up top. Smoothest it’s run since God cut the ribbon on the pearly gates. So tell me, Castiel, truly, what is your mission now?”

When the next antagonist (the Darkness) is finally defeated, when the show finally reaches its final season and its final episodes, we’re going to be given an answer. Castiel will have to choose. Right now he’s indecisive. He calls himself people, but he’s not, as Rowena pointed out when she said in 10x22: “That’s like a fish that wants to fly or a dog that thinks he’s people.” When Cas said that he, in fact, is a lot like people, Rowena’s reply was “Keep telling yourself that, dear”. Meaning? Cas is not human! He acts like he is, but he isn’t. That’s why I firmly believe that Castiel’s endgame will be to choose humanity. That’s been his weakness all along, anyway.

In conclusion, I don’t think Cas, Dean or Sam are going to die. The show has made a great effort to reset the main characters and tell us what they want or where they wish they could go. Maybe I’m delusional, but I can’t help being optimistic. I hope this gives you some hope as well. Sorry for writing such a long thing!

Technicolour (Sean x MC)

Sean Gayle Appreciation Week: Day 5 (hosted by @alwaysanotheroc)

Ship: Sean x MC
Book: Endless Summer
Summary: Everyone sees the world in black and white until they kiss their soulmate. Amelia thinks La Huerta would be beautiful in colour.

This was just a brief idea had while talking with @the-light-of-stars about how I wanted to be ‘soupmates’ with Sean by the end of Endless Summer Book 2. (Yeah, I’m terrible at typing on my phone) I wasn’t going to write it, but one of my RL friends is writing a soulmates fic for Newsies and when we finished talking about that, I had this entire fic planned.

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amelia appreciation week | day one: favorite episode(s) 11x23 - 11x24

You can build a house out of anything, make it as strong as you want. But a home, a home is more fragile than that. A home is made of the people you fill it with. And people can be broken, sure. But any surgeon knows: what’s broken can be mended, what’s hurt can be healed. That no matter how dark it gets the sun’s gonna rise again.

Reblog if you’re part of the Cat should’ve won most dramatic TV actress squad

Don’t get me wrong; I love Ellen, but. Come. On.

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This scene deserves all the awards.


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Super (Sean x MC)

Sean Gayle Appreciation Week: Day Four -  Favourite AU

Summary: A regular evening patrol leads to an unexpected meeting when Sean investigates the alarms at Rourke Industries.
Ship: Sean x MC
Book: Endless Summer

So this my entry for today’s Sean Appreciation Week  (hosted by @alwaysanotheroc ) topic and for this weeks ChoicesCreates (although I don’t think the inspiration I took from the prompt is that obvious) I had a lot of fun writing this - and I have several more ideas for this universe, although not any concrete fic plans. I actually started planning it on Sunday, so I was very amused when all the news and rumours about Hero started to appear. I hope you enjoy it!

@hollyashton @kittenmusicals

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anonymous asked:

Do you ever feel like the writers missed out on a huge arc for Sam's character in Season 7 regarding his time in the pit with Lucifer? I know that they showed him being tortured by the hallucinations, but it still felt like they glossed over important things. It was heavily implied that Sam was raped by Lucifer (both mind and body) and the writers just acted like it wasn't that important. He could have had a lot more character development and it feels like a waste...

content warning for references to rape and noncon situations

Sam’s post-hell arc got as much attention as you could expect up until 7.17. The writers pretty implicitly acknowledged that Sam was raped and tortured in both seasons 6 and 7 [more on Sam and Lucifer here].

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Amy’s Choice
>It has been five years since Amy Pond last travelled with the Eleventh Doctor. However, when he arrives by accident and they have a reunion, Amy is left questioning what is real. Is she actually living with her husband Rory in Leadworth, 2015, or is she still travelling with Rory and the Doctor in the TARDIS? Which is real and which is fake? Dream or reality? Only one thing is clear: it’s Amy’s choice.

I’m not entirely sure what this drabble is, but it’s what came to mind when I read this weeks #choicescreates prompt: “Not all who wander are lost.”

Story: Endless Summer (set after they somehow get off the island and get back home).

Pairing: Sean x MC

I hope you enjoy it! @hollyashton

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