I see so many people like “Yassss Blac Chyna, he shoulda seen it comin” but can we flip the script for one moment, cause everyone would be treating Rob like shit for treating her the way she did him. And let’s not bring up the fact that this woman created a life just to be petty. Y'all can support her and Amber Rose but women should be ashamed of this type of behavior. Point blank period.
Featured Prompter:allegoricalrose, who requested Ten and baby!Rose teething
Characters: Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler
Summary: Rose steps into a machine that temporarily regresses her to her 9 month old self, leaving both Rose and the Doctor confused and scared.
A/N: While I know it’s canon that the Doctor is fluent in Baby, for the humor of this story I’ve decided that this version of Ten isn’t.
don’t wee on my coat. Please don’t wee on my coat. Please, please,
please don’t wee on my coat,” the Doctor chanted over and over
while dashing back to the TARDIS. “You know Janis Joplin gave me
this coat. I can’t launder it very easily. So if you wee on it, it’s going to
smell like baby wee for years. I can’t have that,” he panted.
else was the Doctor to do? Rose had no way of knowing the archway
she’d stepped through was meant for the elderly. It certainly did its
job of taking twenty years off her life. And though the effects were
temporary, the deed was still done. The corporation responsible for
creating the machine was none too pleased, however, with his thorough
job of destroying it. They sent armed guards after the Doctor and
Rose. So just like usual, they were running for their lives back to
the TARDIS. There was no time to grab Rose’s clothes. And even if he
did, they wouldn’t fit her anyway.
was none too pleased with her plight, and spent the entire time they
ran back to the TARDIS wailing at the Doctor’s chest. But if the
Doctor thought she was angry, she was ready to throw down the entire
TARDIS when he fitted her into a safety seat the ship had fabricated
for her for the ride into the Vortex. There was no cutting him any
slack for wanting her safe. The moment he clicked her in her
squalling doubled in volume, turning her pudgy face bright pink.
Funnily enough, the TARDIS’s engines kicking in seemed to soothe her
a little, so during the flight at least his ears had a moment’s rest.
Rose, see? Told you it would only be for a minute,” the Doctor
cooed at his baby companion while unbuckling her. His coat that he’d
swaddled her in was damp when he brought her to his chest. “Oh,
no… no no no… oh Rose, how could you? I told you not to wee on my
calm that the TARDIS had worked at began to ripple away from Rose’s
face the instant he raised his voice. He hadn’t even realized he’d
done it until her chin wrinkle and her mouth turn to a blubbering
frown. She already had him with that, just before a flood of tears
tore at him. She sniffed a few times before returning to the cry that
she’d tortured him with earlier. Only this time it was completely his
Rose, please don’t cry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it, okay?” he
pleaded, and brought her up for a hug, but she pushed herself off of
him and writhed in her swaddle, trying to get out of his arms. “Come
on, I’m not that bad. I’ve at least got to get you a nappy and some
clean clothes, okay?”
paused. Had he ever even had a baby aboard the TARDIS? He wouldn’t
have a reason for keeping any baby things. Rassilon help him if he
had to pop into a store with a naked and nappy-less Rose to buy a
whole assortment of baby supplies to last them through however long
she remained a baby. The effects were temporary, but the machinery
causing Rose’s state was meant for a species that wasn’t strictly
human. It would affect her differently. His only hope was the TARDIS
considering a passing thought he’d had recently.
Rassilon she did. A monitor trilled on the console and popped up a
coordinate on the TARDIS’s schematics. The Doctor kissed the monitor
and dashed down a corridor in the direction of the nursery. He
couldn’t be certain if the TARDIS was being funny with how fully
stocked this nursery was, or if perhaps she was laying on a few
hints. Maybe both. But he was all too thankful. And maybe the soft
pastel coral walls and the starry ceiling might help calm Rose down,
he hoped. The first order of business was getting his tiny companion
in a nappy. And it would have been great if she agreed with this
assessment. The Doctor was no stranger to the task, but that didn’t
make it any easier.
now that’s not fair. I’m trying to help,” the Doctor complained at
Rose’s slippery kicking legs that were nearly impossible to catch.
And once he did weave her ankles between his fingers in a hold he
thought was pretty secure, she flopped over and freed herself. “Where
are you going? You realize it’s a three foot drop to the floor.”
Rose peered over the edge, almost as if calculating her odds. “Where
are you even going to go starkers anyway, hm?” He flopped Rose back
over and formed a tighter grip around her ankles. She was none too
pleased with this, and made certain that was known. “You’re mad
because I outfoxed you. D'you honestly think I’m enjoying this? I
didn’t wake up this morning expecting to be wiping your bum, I’ll say
wasn’t about to make his job easy, and wiggled about the entire time
while whining at him. Just when he thought he was in the clear,
walking away from the table with a fresh cloth in hand he learned that
using it on Rose’s face was tantamount to murder. Getting Rose into
some clothes involved chasing her around the room and pulling her out
from under a crib, not to mention wrestling the writhing baby into
the clothes. He opted for a dress after all the trouble she put him through. Some day he would find all of this rather comical. After
a long while. Not long after he’d managed this, Rose returned to her
routine of frustrated crying.
the Doctor sighed. “I don’t know how to do all this. Are you
hungry? Tired? I’m exhausted and we’ve barely done anything. I’ll
give you chips. D'you want chips? Can you even eat chips yet? I’ll
mash them up if I need to. Just please stop crying, alright?”
scooped her up into his arms and sat her on his hip. He wouldn’t deny baby
Rose her cuteness. It had to guarantee her survival, with her
mother growing Rose up on her own. The Doctor had a much deeper
respect for Jackie than he ever did before. Whether he’d ever tell
her as much remained to be seen. He could even live with Rose ruining
his tie by chewing on it. At least when she had it in her mouth,
soaking it in Rose drool, she was marginally quiet. Well, that is
until he set her down on the floor in the galley.
Rose… I can’t do this with just one hand,” the Doctor reasoned to
a pair of teary doe eyes. “Give me just a few minutes, alright?
I’ll even make you a bottle. And then I’m all yours.”
wouldn’t be convinced of this, and crawled after him as he fetched
things around the galley, making certain he was was aware of her
malcontent by whining after him. When he disappeared into the pantry
for a moment she burst into tears. Surely the independent Rose that
he knew wasn’t really like this as a baby. Jackie would have lost her
mind. When he stopped in front of the microwave and bottle warmer
(bless his TARDIS), Rose pulled herself up on his pant leg and held
herself there, babbling at him in her continual whine of complaint until he looked down at her.
alright,” the Doctor relented, and picked her up. “I’m not
letting you live this one down though, just so you know.” She
couldn’t be bothered by this while she found a suitable suit collar
to chew on. Evidently his little companion was determined to make her
mark on his clothes.
she wouldn’t eat. No matter how he argued that mashed potatoes were
much more edible than his silk tie, Rose refused to let it slip past
her mouth. In fact, a good bit of it ended up being pasted onto his
clothes (as he fed her from his lap because she refused to sit in a
high chair). And no matter how he begged her, it was the same story
with the bottle as well. It quickly got cold.
don’t understand,” he grumbled and rubbed his face in his palm
before messing with his hair as if it might hold the answers. Even as
the Doctor held her and cradled her close she still cried. Clearly
she wanted to tell him something, but didn’t know how to. “What is
it? I don’t even want to try putting you to bed.”
started down the hall and while he walked he fished his sonic
screwdriver out of his jacket and sent it whirring over the little
pink Rose. The moment Rose saw it light up she squealed and giggled,
reaching for it with her stubby, grainy fingers (how was potato so
difficult to get off?). He was about to tell her there was no way she
was getting his sonic when he saw that she’d already soaked it in
drool, and was actively chewing on the light end. Even with her chin
and neck soaked, gumming on his precious sonic she was still cute.
Her deep chocolate eyes looked very much the same, and evidently
could still get him into a lot of trouble. It was a good thing he had
backups, he thought with a sigh. He pressed a safety button on the
side and smiled at her. He couldn’t tell her no when she had the most
vacantly blissful look spreading across her damp, pudgy face. The
memory of making her cry was still tugging at his heartstrings. So
although his sonic now had tiny teeth marks on it, his Rose was
then it hit him. The Doctor stopped right in front of Rose’s bedroom
door and watched her blissfully chewing away at his sonic. He really
was incredibly thick. When she soaked his suit collars it should have
hit him. Perhaps when she wouldn’t eat. He held Rose up by her torso
and brought her forehead to his lips for a little kiss.
gums hurt, don’t they, eh Rose?” he cooed at her and beamed. He
stepped into Rose’s bedroom and headed towards her bed. “I’ve got
just the thing.” He beamed at her after setting her down on the
mattress and laying next to her. “Much better than this icky metal
whimpered and pawed at his hands when he took his sonic away from
her. She also wasn’t having any of his attempts at cuddling her
close. But he ignored her protests and made a nest of his head, arms
and chest around her. He stuck his tongue out at her and tickled her
feet when she batted at his nose in frustration. He hushed her when
he saw her lungs filling up to release a cry. And before she could
protest any further, he eased a finger into the corner of her mouth.
no biting, okay? I’m trusting you on this one.”
Doctor pressed his fingers to Rose’s gums and worked his way around
until he found the culprit. He massaged the spot and watched Rose’s
demeanor change in a few heartbeats. Her chubby legs fell to the bed
and she leaned in to him. He had to stop what he was doing for a
moment so she could crawl on top of him. He’d earned her trust, he
surmised. She grabbed his hand and found the forefinger on his other
hand. Maybe it tasted a bit different, milder or sweeter. At any rate
she found it to her liking and let him resume rubbing her gums. They
both relaxed within a few minutes, and a peaceful blanket of
exhaustion began to settle over him. Rose seemed to share this
sentiment and released the tiniest little yawn. The Doctor wriggled
his way under her sheets and covered them both up. Her chest rose and
fell in gentle puffs, and within a few minutes she was purring in her
sleep like a kitten.
took a few minutes to clasp her tiny hand in his and soothe her soft
skin over his palm. He brought her up to his face so he could nuzzle
her caramel down and drink in her mild scent. He sighed it into a
kiss and felt his cheeks warming with the thought that she always
smelled like Rose, his Rose. It was a sentiment that eased him into a
deep sleep snuggled up with her on his chest.
awoke in the morning curled up with the Doctor. The only thing
keeping her from smacking him across the face for sneaking into her
bed while was naked was finding that he was clothed. She’d be lying if she said it didn’t feel so right, too. She licked her
gums and found her teeth throbbing. The Doctor looked like a complete
wreck, and since he wouldn’t free her from his grasp, she nestled her
head into the nook under his head and fell right back asleep.
Maksim Chmerkovskiy is definitely keeping busy on Dancing With the Stars this season. Aside fromheating up the dance floor with his partner Amber Rose, the Ukrainian native has also been planning the arrival of his first child with his fiancée and fellow DWTS pro Peta Murgatroyd. We had a chance to sit down with the dancer and he told us all about this current season, what it’s like competing against his brother Val, and whether or not he wants his son to take up ballroom dancing.
POPSUGAR: You and Amber have been doing so well on Dancing With the Stars. Why do you think you two will win the competition? Maksim Chmerkovskiy: We’re one of the few couples in this competition that can actually show growth week after week. Everyone is working super hard, but some people come in with some sort of — I’m not going to say dance experience — but with whatever comfort level they have and that allows them to come out with performances in week one that dictate where they go from there. We came out week one very, very timid. Very unclear, and it was a bit confusing to the audience who was like, “Wait, this couple looks like they should be getting nines from the beginning.” But that wasn’t the case. We weren’t that couple, and we’re still not, but to people who have been watching the show, even if they’re not fans of Amber and Mak, they have seen a clear improvement. Now people are tuning in to see how different Amber will be next time, and that’s what’s going to get us to the top.
PS: If you and Amber make it to the finale, what other two couples would you like to compete against? MC: Val [Chmerkovskiy] and Laurie [Hernandez] are definitely front runners. And to be honest with you, it would probably be between Calvin Johnson [and Lindsay Arnold] and James [Hinchcliffe] and Sharna [Burgess]. Calvin has the ability to be the same character as Jerry Rice was, who may not have been the best dancer, but was just super friendly and a workaholic who puts in 100 percent. Lindsay is doing a great job getting steps out of him. On the other hand, James and Sharna are just winning the hearts of millions of women and men out there with the story of perseverance. Just last year, he had a metal piece go through his hips and leg, and now a year and a half later, he’s on Dancing With the Stars. I don’t care who you are, but if you’ve ever had any sort of break or fracture, you know how hard it is to recover. If Sharna figures out what makes him the best, I think they have a huge chance of winning. Like I said, Val and Laurie are just front runners. There’s nothing this girl can’t do. There’s nothing he cannot throw at her. Val certainly has the weapons to use to win this competition.
PS: What is it like being on the show with your brother? Are you two competitive? MC: We drag everything into the same pot. It’s not competition when it’s family. We’ve been that way our entire lives. You know, the Klitschko brothers once said that although they compete in the same place, they would never fight each other. It’s kind of a similar situation; we don’t really compete. If we were the last two couples standing, at this point it wouldn’t matter who wins. Obviously, it would matter to Laurie and Amber, but definitely not to Val and me.
PS: On the topic of family, you’re also expecting a son with your fiancée, Peta Murgatroyd. What are you most looking forward to about being a dad? MC: Just having this other person that you can speak at and they cannot run away. I’m kidding! I look forward to doing, hopefully, as good as my parents did, and just trying to make an incredible person out of this little human. I want to be a good role model. It’s just a lot of responsibility, but I’ve had experience in educating children, so I know the process and what it consists of. I just never experienced changing a diaper. But hey, if our parents did it when they were 19 and dirt broke, I think we can do it.
PS: Why do you think Peta will be a great mom? MC: Because she’s the best woman I know, after my mom. I have a lot of respect for what she’s going through with this pregnancy. I think there’s a reason it takes nine months to go through this process because that’s the time it takes to get into parent mode. We’re lucky that we got pregnant in the place in life where we are right now, whereas some people get pregnant and it’s all of a sudden a huge burden. Through all the struggles that Peta is going through with her pregnancy, that’s what makes me 100 percent sure that she’s going to be an incredible mother. I cannot wait to be incredible parents with her and have that joint adventure.
PS: Do you secretly hope your baby will pick up dancing? MC: I do not, no. For me, it was literally swimming and track and field to begin with. It helps that I got a couple inches on Val in height, so I want the same for my son. Between Peta and I, he’s going to be a tall kid. I will say though, that I want him to experience ballroom dancing solely because of the close proximity to the opposite sex. I want him to experience what it’s like not to have that personal space and not be shook by it. I want him to be a gentleman. I want him to open doors for girls. I want him to carry their bag. I want him to bring flowers to a lady. I want him to be a well rounded, educated, and athletic person.