amazing reproduction

this isn't very funny I just wanted to do it
  • [The Janitor and the twins are having a meeting with The Lady]
  • [The Runaway wobbles in, looking scared]
  • The Janitor: Seven? What are you doing in here; this meeting is for adults.
  • The Runaway [sniffling]: I-Is Six dying?
  • The Janitor: Now, why would she be dying?
  • The Runaway: I-I went to go wake her up...a-and there was blood all over her bed!
  • [everyone in the room becomes awkwardly quiet]
  • The Runaway: I-is she dying?!
  • The Lady [standing up and slamming her hands on the table]: IT'S CALLED A PERIOD SEVEN IT'S WHERE A GIRL BLEEDS FROM HER VAGINA AND IT'S ABSOLUTE HELL FOR FOUR TO SEVEN DAYS AT A TIME EACH MONTH
  • Six [in the background]: *wheezes*

Faye Wattleton (b. 1943) was the President of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America from 1978 to 1992. She was the first African American and the youngest person to ever hold the position, as well as the first woman since the founder of the organization, Margaret Sanger.

She specialized in nursing and joined Planned Parenthood in 1967. During her leadership, she was crucial in increasing the range of health services offered by the organization and becoming more politically engaged. She was also a co-founder of the Center for the Advancement of Women, and of the African American Women for Reproductive Freedom.

↳ You Seem Happy With Yourself [Jackson] One Shot

Author: honey-bts

Pairing: Got7′s Jackson / Reader

Word Count: 737

Summary: To say Jackson loved kids was an understatement. Take a normally overly joyous and sweet person and multiply that times ten. That was Jackson around children. His urge to play and nurture made him the perfect dad to your three children. 


“Dad! Angel threw dirt in my hair again!”

You laughed at your husband’s overwhelmed look on his face, and when he turned to you with a face that screamed ‘help me’, you simply pointed towards your eldest daughter Suzanne as if to say ‘well, what are you waiting for’.

Now that your three daughters were older and getting into more trouble, you noticed that Jackson hardly ever dished out punishments for wrongdoings. You were the “mean parent”, giving time outs and taking away desert privileges. 

You didn’t think it was fair that Jackson was ready to play and have fun with the girls, but ran when it was time to scold them. Lately, you had tried to urge him to grab the bull by the horns, and be ok with the thought of disciplining his little angels. 

Keep reading

Girls with deep voices? Hot!

Girls with damaged vocal cords? Harmonious!

Women with small or no breasts? Amazing!

Women with large breasts and rolls of fat? Soft and gorgeous!

Tall girls who have trouble finding shoes that fit? Stunning!

Short girls who can’t reach the top shelf? Respectable!

Disabled girls? Strong, beautiful!

Girls who don’t have a uterus? Awesome!

Neurodivergent girls? Brilliant, ily!

Girls recovering from eds? Still lovely!

Girl’s with large muscles? Crush me pls

Butch girls? Rad!

Girls who don’t like labels? Cool!

Girl’s who like girls? Great!👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

Girls who only like other girls? Awesome!

Girls who survived csa? Perfect, stronger than you think!

Girls who work in the sex industry? Purely gold

Girls living with STIs? Amazing!

Girls with reproductive disorders? Great!

Girls who have an intersex condition? Fantastic!

Girls who are HIV positive? Not bad!

Girls? Wonderful.

This goes double for trans girls and excludes terfs/swerfs
Feel free to add!

No I’m not going to use years of scientific learning in the subject of zoology and the amazing varied reproduction strategies of animals to help you with your undertail.

Honestly if you even tried to be biologically accurate with your animal character porn, it’ll start being on the creepy beastiality spectrum and would be extremely disappointing.

Like, imagine Undyne, but swollen and with a distended extremely pregnant stomach, increasing her waist to 2 times its normal size. Instead of our fancy placental mammal three hole females, fish do everything out of one hole, the cloaca, a vent like a backwards facing pocket. She then lays down, and begins to force hundreds of tennis ball size gelatinous eggs all over the bed in your underwater house.

Within 10 minutes she is done. 250 slime coated eggs are clumped up covering the bed, swelling to the size of softballs in the water. She gets up and goes to get something to eat from the fridge, and leaves you to spread your sperm over all the eggs and prevent anyone else from fertilizing them. Imagine having a scuba suit on with no pants, and having to ejaculate enough to reach all 250 softball sized eggs, all while first fighting other guys trying to fertilize your mates eggs or eat them.

That’s how fish like piranhas do the do. It’s not fun.

People ask me about skeletons. humans do not have penis bones. Many other mammals do. It’s called a baculum. Walruses have them, and you know what us humans do? Inuits live where resources are scarce, so when they kill a walrus, they take the penis bone, they ornately carve it, and they use it as a club to beat small animals like baby seals and baby walruses to death for food. I want you to think about that. Imagine someone killing you, eating you, taking the your penis bone, carving it, and using it to beat your children to death, and eating them. They don’t mess around in the far north.

Point is, it ain’t sexy. Stop asking and looking up other animals reproductive parts for your porn or I’ll discuss all the animals with horrible spines and scraping parts on their junk and ruin your fantasies. There are insects that reproduce by stabbing the females in the abdomen, ejaculating, and then leaving. Like, imagine a migosp with 3 inch wide gladius blade for a dong thrusting into your gut and pumping semen into your body cavity while you bleed out. Gut wounds are a really horrible way to go, and that would just make it worse. If you survive, you are pregnant. Congrats. They call it “traumatic insemination”.

Be happy you are a human.